Sorry for taking an eon and a half to get this out... hope you like it...
Warnings: Language, slap stick violence, crack humor!
Chapter 1: Lost and Found
The sun radiated its heavenly bodies upon the earth that warm afternoon. Perching upon the roof top of the main JIA station in Tokyo, a small girl sat back against the wire railing and sighed in contentment as she placed down the fifth crust of vegetable pizza. There was a long battle ahead and she was equipped without an empty stomach.
Pulling out a Capri Sun juice packet from a large pink bunny backpack, Rukia Kuchiki began her afternoon staring contest with the juice pack. She knew today was a good day. Today was to be a victorious day, indeed.
And right as she was about to execute her attack, straw raised and target identified, the clicking and clanking of footsteps upon the ladder completely destroyed her concentration.
"Oi! Kuchiki!" A tall man with spiky, ebony, black hair poked from behind the edge of the roof and trotted over towards the petite young woman. He walked with a confidence that screamed that he owned the place. That kind of confidence, though, only came with the position as an officer that jumped ranks all the way to vice captain of the homicide force in the span of half a year.
This was Kaien Shiba; the head of the investigations department for homicide at the JIA Tokyo Branch. Kaien has been Rukia's training officer for the four months and she truly believed that there was no way that she would have made it through all the ridicule and snide remarks that she got from her fellow classmates (and even some of the instructors) if not for a great mentor like Kaien. Rukia was raised around the higher ups and was the subject of mockery ever since she was little. Being high up in the both money status and family status, Rukia always hated going to public run programs but she needed to graduate from the academy so that she would be able to finally work the field jobs. She would be able to finally move out on her own and not have to deal with her horrendously depressing brother.
At the thought of her brother, Byakuya Kuchiki, Rukia's head drooped along with her eyes till they were barely lidded open and sighed as she twirled her straw around her slim fingers.
Suddenly, a heavy, yet familiar, hand fell atop her head and jerked her black top so that her widened eyes stare blankly at the owner of said hand.
"KU-CHI-KI! How many friggin' times do I have ta tell you NOT to look so damn depressing all the time? Gah, did you know how long it took me to actually find your monkey ass? I'm gonna to Rangokai." But at the look of Rukia's face as it began to fall, Kaien immediately said, "And I will be back in about a week or so to pick up Miyako at the airport." Seeing that that wasn't helping the young training officer's mood at all, he then added, "You can come with us if you want to..."
Rukia's sullen black eyes began to light up like a hundred New Year's firework at the mentioning that she would be able to accompany him to pick up his wife, Miyako Shiba.
"Okay then, in that case, I'm off. I'll talk to you when I get back, kay?" Kaien called from behind his shoulder as he began to job towards the ladder, but turned around one last time and hollered, "Keep an eye on Sentarou and Kiyone for me too, while I'm out. I don't want to come back and end up finding Ukitake-taishou got transferred from Homicide to Mental Ward."
Rukia didn't know whether to raise an eyebrow or laugh but found out that by the time she mad up her mind, Kaien already disappear from view.
Absentmindedly, Rukia turned back towards her juice pack and proceeded to raise her straw again. Her eyes began to fill again with deep concentration and, in a heartbeat, stroked her weapon down upon the target.
And the second she saw the straw disappear behind the punctured packet, it was confirmed. Today was indeed a victorious one. Today, she sighed in contentment as the cool, sweet liquid danced down her throat and cooled her body underneath the hot afternoon sky.
Rangokai
It was darkness that made him feel comfortable the most, but as a public safety officer, Ichigo Kurosaki knew that any and all kinds of settings must be comfortable to him.
But the darkness right now was inviting. He still had five targets to take down and time was running out. Breath became scarce as the minutes ticked on by, but it was not time to strike yet.
T-minus one minute.
Not just yet.
Then as the silence become deafening he heard the rusting of the southern wall. Ichigo paused for a split second in time before jumping out from his secluded corner and into the clearing while cocking his gun, making sure it was on automatic before giving the shadows that trademark toothy grin and firing into the clearing.
No matter how many times those guys always try the diversion of "bait right- swarm left", Ichigo has never fell for that tactic once. Taking down each opponent within the time frame of forty seconds, he stood in triumph as his breath slowly becoming labored, surrounded by the fallen, he waited for the time alarm but found himself too busy basking in afterglow of victory that he did not hear the footsteps behind him until he felt the muzzle pressed against the center of his back.
Time froze as the owner of the gun slowly said in a sing song voice, "Kurosaki-san, tis not wise to turn your back to a dark corner... wouldn't you agree?" Within a second though, Ichigo fell face forward and the sound of the gun could barely be heard over the blaring time alarm.
As the lights turned on, Ichigo shot up from the ground spitting out hay that mange to get in his mouth and yelled at the occupant behind him.
"Oi! What the hell is your problem, old man? You aren't supposed to even be in this simulation!"
Now that the lights turned back on, the vicinity around them began to become more visible. The Rangokai Police Academy had the reputation of having the most unconventional but effective training facilities on this side of the rural Rangokai.
Ichigo had lived in the city for the better part of his teenage years and was founded by the man he was standing face to face to, Kisuke Urahara, a retired research professor from the Tokyo University Micro-Biology Research Department, but now he works for some big company on the western out skirts of Tokyo. Not one day over fifteen, Ichigo began to train with Urahara secretly after school all the way up until senior year in high school. After that, he got accepted with a full scholarship to RPA and a nickname that will be known all over the small city, "The Prodigy".
Ichigo sneered at his long time mentor and then bent down to pick up his paintball gun with a word until he straighten up his full height, "You were suppose to be in Tokyo." The younger man asked in a slightly gruff tone.
"I did go!" He smiled ominously and then continued, "And I came BACK... with a guest." Urahara replied as he looked up towards the second floor of the warehouse near the staircase. Among the shadows it seemed empty, yet now that the lights were on, Ichigo saw a silhouette of a tall man against the sunlight.
He was still for a mere moment, and then began to walk towards the staircase, saying as he descended, "He's not exactly what I'm looking for but..." Finally as his face came into view, Ichigo felt as though he was looking into a mirror. An older version of him complete with a full head of jet black hair, gave him a once and then finished, "He will just have to do-"
Detective Shiba? This RPA main control tower and we have a message for you from JIA Tokyo base. Do you copy D.S.O.T.J.I.A.T.B.H.D.V.C.?
The man with the dark hair hung in head at the sound of the most cliché message he has gotten since he was training back in his years, as Ichigo sweat dropped for a mere second watching the man bring his palm toward his forehead and then heaved a loud sigh that shook Ichigo's fellow training partners awake. Pulling the walkie-talkie from his strap on his hip, Kaien Shiba wore the most annoyed of looks as he grumbled, "Yea... I got it. And what the hell is 'D.S.T... what was that?" Kaien said through gritted teeth.
It's short for 'Detective Shiba Of The Japanese Intelligence Agency Tokyo Brach Homicide Division Vice Captain', sir!
Kaien's face was bordering homicidal at the moment as a single vein popped from the side of Kaien's forehead and the boys that were on the floor roared in laughter knowing that voice over the intercom very well as it belonged to Rangokai's most famous trouble maker. It seemed as though Kon (the one named wonder of Rangokai) was trying his hand at getting on the dark haired man's nerves.
"Okay BASE, be there in a few. Over and out." Kaien said and then made a move to place it back into the strap when static could be heard again and a muffled laughter rang from the other side of the intercom before follow with, "What does... " A chuckle and then, "'a few' mean, sir?"
Another roar of laughter blasted from the floor complete with a couple of flying hay that was tossed in the air, Kaien nearly wanted to crush his walkie-talkie with his bare hands as his face was now covered with popping veins, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "SHUT THE HELL UP, YA WHINING DOGS!"
Once silence fell back into the training warehouse, Kaien turned back towards Urahara and Ichigo to see the both of them with completely blank faces. He knew that look. He knew that look too well!
"You guys can just laugh... go on!"
They were biting their bottom lips now, but they shook their head vigorously in a negative respond as Kaien continued, "GO ON! Look like a bunch of buffoons like these friggin'... these... ARGH!"
That was the look of a person who needed to laugh so bad now that they are just holding their breaths so not to give in to the laughing frenzy that was bubbling to the surface.
"DAMN YOU KON! You fuckin' messed my uber cool speech up you no good excuse for a..." Kaien moved out of the training hall but without one last glance towards the boys on the floor, who were still laughing to this very moment.
Walking up to one of the boys, Kaien grabbed a head full of matching black hair filled to the core with grease and yelled in the young man's ear, "DO YOU THINK SOMETHING'S FUNNY? EH? WHAT'S SO DAMN FUNNY, DOLT?"
"Nothing, nothing, nothing Nii-san-"
"NII-san?"
"NII-SAMA! I'm sorry, I'm soooooo sorry! I'm sooo sorry, Nii-sama!"
Poor Ganju Shiba just had to be within reach for Kaien to grab and yank all the way to the main base.
Once the two were completely out of sight, Urahara, Ichigo, and the rest of Ganju's entourage threw their heads back in laughter as they did not at all hear a certain voice call out Ichigo's name.
"Oi, Ichigo!"
Ichigo stopped laughing for a second and cupped his ear but he still did not hear anything over the deafening laughter from his fellow team mates and then joined in on the laughter as one of the guys snorted and imitated Ganju being taken away.
"Oi, Ichigo!"
Ichigo truly did not hear anything this time as they joked about how Ganju had to go through all this extra work and still get kicked in the face when he got home by Kaien for placing last in the division.
"OI! ICHIGO!" This time he both heard it and felt it as a size six and a half shoe collided to the back of his head.
That kick was none other than his long time friend, Tatsuki Arisawa! And Ichigo learned very early in his life, that old friends kick harder!
"WHAT THE FUCK-" Another well placed kick contacted with his face as merely stood there extending her leg.
"How many times have I told you not to curse in my presence?" Tatsuki asked coolly buffing her well trimmed nails against her track sweater.
"Alright... your hine-ass..."
Another swift kick to the head and Ichigo Kurousaki was out like a light. Tatsuki walked out waving behind her to yell back, "I'm going to America tomorrow! See ya later, punk!"
Ichigo seemed to snap out of his unconscious state faster that estimated as his eyes widen and his head shot up while shouting, "You got the scholarship?"
Tatsuki swung around and gave a thumb up. "How could you ever doubt that I couldn't get it?"
With that, she strutted out of the training facility, whistling the theme song to one of her favorite Hollywood classics... Casablanca!
At the main office, Kaien moved an enclosed office and shut the door as he picked up the receiver and said, "Yes, this is Detective Shiba."
"Kaien... this is Ukitake."
Kaien's eyes widened as he heard his captain's familiar voice on the other side of the receiver.
"Yes, sir! Is there a problem?" Kaien's voice filled with concern as Ukitake would not call him at all during his trips to his home town unless it is a state of emergency.
"Kaien... are you sitting down?" Came the calm voice from the telephone, as Kaien's face slowly filled with confusion.
"No, sir. Wh-"
"Then you might want to for this one." Kaien furrowed his brows as he took a seat atop of the cherry oak table top. "Okay, sir, I'm sitting down right now. Now… what is the problem?"
Silence filled the other side of the phone for such a long time, Kaien thought that he might have to hang up and call the Tokyo ambulance just incase Ukitake might have fainted, seeing that the older man was never in a state of good health.
Yet right when he was about to ask if Ukitake was okay, the calm voice manifested into a shaky, uneven one, "Miyako... Miyako is dead."
There ya go! The first chapter cranked out! I hope you guys like it... I know it was filled with crack humor and bizzareness... but I hope you will forgive me and let me know what you guys think! See you in chapter two!
REVEIW PLEASE:3