"Come at me, ya little green shits!"

I swung my weapon and heard a resounding crack as I struck another goblin in the head.

By now, there were half a dozen of them lying motionless on the ground in the forest clearing. There were only three remaining, and after a quick glance between them, they turned tail and tried to run.

"Oh no, you don't!"

They're a lot quicker than they look, but their legs are still shorter than mine. And I happen to be quite good at running.

"Chi, chi, chi–"

WHACK

WHAM

I knocked the skull of one, and then slammed the pipe-sword into the torso of another, sending it flying.

"CHIII!"

The last one screamed in what I assume was panic as I closed in on it.

"Sorry buddy, it's nothing personal."

THUMP

And with that, the quest should be completed.

Goblins are nasty little buggers that rely on numbers and surprise to catch enemies.

Turns out, they're not so clever on defense. I was able to sneak up to their camp and take out their archers first, leaving only their melee fighters.

After that, the fight was a cakewalk, since each one only needed one or two solid hits to go down.

"Let's see... oh, I leveled up. Neat."

Just like the guild lady said, killing things gets me experience points, and leveling up gets me skill points.

I took a look at the available Cavalier skills on my card.

"Synergy, Rundown... I still can't use most of these at the moment, eh? Might as well keep saving the points."

When I first got the card, I already had a few skill points to start with, so I went ahead and got One-Handed Sword. The effect was amazing. I'd considered myself reasonably dexterous before, but just by getting that skill, my proficiency with my weapon felt like it reached an all new height.

Though, the blunt shape of it means the results are more like if I was wielding a club.

As for the other skills, I couldn't really find anything that seemed useful right now, so I'm stockpiling points for later.

Incidentally, it seems that my supposed cheat powers must operate outside of the skill system, as they don't show up on the card. Figures. I turned back towards the path I took to get here.

"Guess I'll head back now. Not sure why the guild lady seemed worried, this was fucking easy."

Right now, before anything else, I need cash, or I won't have dinner or a bed tonight. I can worry about other things once that's taken care of.

Plus, beating stuff up is great for stress relief.

The guild lady said that giant toad hunting was the recommended quest for newbies, but rather than huge beasts like that, I felt more comfortable going after something a bit closer to my weight class.

I suppose I might've had trouble if it was a larger group of goblins, but if it's less than a dozen, it's nothing to–

Snarl

... um, what was that? It came from behind me...

... very slowly, I rotated my head until I could make out the large shape behind my back.

It looked like a large feline beast, with jet black fur, piercing yellow eyes, and fangs like those of a saber-toothed tiger.

It was easily several times my size. Maybe as big as one of those tigers I saw in the zoo.

And it was glaring right at me.

"... fucking shit."

I like to think I made a decent choice of last words.

No, calm down. There's no way I can just die here. I remember seeing a documentary once that said wolves only go for the kill when the prey starts fleeing.

Predators don't have access to medicine or healing magic, so they should avoid targets that might fight back and injure them.

The beast took a step forward.

I responded by also taking a step forward.

It seemed a bit taken aback. Yeah, that's right. I'm not afraid of you. Back off if you don't want a broken limb.

"Shoo! Get outta here!"

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOAR!"

On the other hand, you can't trust everything you see on television.

It started approaching me again, step by step. I could see the tension in its powerful muscles as it got closer. In my head, I could picture it leaping right at me, its fangs and claws flashing down– nevermind, I want to stop picturing that now.

Come on, think, what can I use to get out of here?

I have this blunt sword, which won't be much use against something this size.

I have some mysterious powers, with no idea what they do or how to even activate them.

What else, what else... wait, I have something stuffed in my back pocket.

"I'm warning you! Stay back or I'll use... this..."

The beast seemed genuinely puzzled at the sight of me threateningly waving a fedora at it.

... at the risk of dying in a terrible fashion, I placed the hat on my head. It's supposed to be a cheat, so it has to do something, right?

"Hat, activate! Um... Enable headwear!"

Nothing.

The beast stopped moving... no, it's crouching.

It's preparing to pounce now.

Is this really where I die again?

I raised my weapon and braced my stance. Even if I die, I'm going to go down fi–

"EXPLOSION!"

A shout from behind, then a deafening roar as a massive explosion engulfed the beast. The shockwave knocked the wind out of my lungs and sent me flying back several meters, while the bright light blinded my eyes.

Once the chaos died down, I simply lay where I fell, too dazed to move.

Everything hurts, and I can't see or hear anything. If I hadn't already died once before, I might've thought that this was what it felt like.

"-kay? Hey, are you okay? Can you hear me?"

A girl's talking to me. With some effort I managed to open my eyes to look at whoever was standing over me.

Red eyes. Brilliant red eyes that would only exist in a fantasy world like this. And dark hair, with a ribbon accessory on top, hanging down over her shoulders.

And below that...

...

"... damn, those things are massive."

"Eh? Oh, yes, Rookie Killers are quite big, aren't they? It's lucky that we were in the area. What were you doing here by yourself?"

I accidentally blurted that out, but thankfully it seems this girl misunderstood me.

"I was hunting goblins. What was that beast?"

"That was a Rookie Killer. It herds goblins and other weak monsters to lure in novice adventurers and prey on them."

What kind of bullshit world is this? I want to have a word with whoever designed that shit!

"Oi, Yunyun! If you're done checking on her, then come pick me up already!"

I heard the voice of another young girl from off to the side. Turning my head, I saw another figure laying in the grass.

An oversized hat with a huge brim.

A mystical-looking staff in her hand.

And a pitiful body.

"It's a loli witch."

This really is a fantasy world, huh. She had the same eye and hair color as the other girl that she called Yunyun. Maybe they're sisters?

"Oi, who're you calling a loli!? I just saved your life, but it sounds like you actually want to die!"

"M-Megumin, calm down!"

A hot-tempered loli witch. Yunyun and Megumin... what kind of names are those?

Wait, hold on. Saved my life?

"Were you the one who caused that massive explosion?"

The loli witch, now being carried on Yunyun's back, put on a smug expression.

"That's right! What you just witnessed was none other than the ultimate magic spell, Explosion Magic! What do you think of its overwhelming power?"

Pushing myself up to a sitting position, I was finally able to see where the beast had been just now.

There was a huge crater. Dozens of meters in diameter, and the trees all around have been flattened by the shockwave.

I couldn't see any trace that the beast ever existed.

... say, is it really alright for a little girl to have this much power?

Well, I guess I shouldn't complain, considering she did just save my ass.

"It was amazing. Thanks for saving my life... Megumin, right?"

Her grin grew wider. She seems to react well to her magic being praised.

"So, you understand the beauty of it, do you? You should consider joining the path of explosions as well!"

"Sorry, but I don't think that'll be possible. I have no talent for magic."

I'd be lucky if I could even magically conjure a spark.

"... is that so? Well, that's fine. You can still train as a explosion connoisseur. For starters, how would you rate–"

"Megumin, can we save that for later? It's dangerous to stick around here, you know? Lots of monsters will have been drawn by the sound of your magic."

I'm getting the impression that Yunyun is the more sensible of the two.

"... very well. Let's head back to the base... What's your name, by the way?"

"You can call me Kiriya."

"Kiriya, huh? Since you show promise, how about joining my thieving band?"

... what?

"This is your... base?"

"That's right! I'm only letting you in because you're a prospective member, so get a good look at what's waiting for you if you join!"

The "base" of this "thieving band" was the largest mansion in town. It must have cost a fortune.

At first, I thought she was just a kid sneaking in somewhere she didn't belong, but she actually had a key for this place.

I only followed them here because I thought they were just playing (and because I didn't have any other plans for the night), but are they actually legit?

... no, no matter how I look at it, there's no way they're actual thieves.

"Um, Megumin, should we really be inviting her in when she's only just met us? What if she gets uncomfortable or–"

"It's because you worry about those things that the only friends you've made are a delinquent and a devil."

"Hey–"

"Besides, right after Kazuma and Darkness set off to meet that noble devil Zereschrute, Chris disappeared as well, so we're in need of a reliable senpai-type. And this girl has a cool aura... eh? Kiriya, what's with that expression?"

The blood drained from my face when she mentioned his name.

No, wait, there's no guarantee she knows him personally. The guild lady also knew where Kazuma was, after all.

"Oh, um, nothing. Say, who are those people you mentioned? I'm new around town, so..."

Megumin, who had been placed onto a sofa by Yunyun, crossed her arms.

"I see, you're inquisitive! That's a good trait."

Er...

"Chris is a Thief who's part of the Eris Church. She advises us on matters, but like I said before, she vanished somewhere without warning."

Why the fuck does a church have a thief? Is a devout criminal supposed to be some kind of gap moe?

"Darkness is one of my party members. She's a tough Crusader, and also assists her father, the local governing lord."

That one sounds like a reliable person... but if she's Megumin's party member, then is Kazuma also... no, she's apparently a noble, so maybe Kazuma was just hired to accompany her.

"... and what about that last one?"

"Oh, Kazuma? He's my man."

...

...

...

"Kiriya? Something wrong?"

... I always had a hunch he was a lolicon, but that aside...

It feels weird, thinking that this girl right in front of me is close to that guy. It makes my mind want to flood itself with what-if's, to the point that I had to take a deep breath and empty my head.

Megumin's looking at me with a concerned expression. If she knew who I was, what I did to her companion... would she have still saved me?

No, let's put the angsty stuff and theoretical situations aside for now. Isn't this current situation really bad?

If she's that close to him, then she'll probably mention my name to him when he gets back.

I need to think of a way to keep her from talking about me.

... hmm... from the way she's been acting... it's a bit of a gamble, but it's worth a shot.

And if it doesn't work, I'll probably want to die again.

"... guh!? That name... it's... it's causing my soul to cry out in anguish!"

"Eh!?"

"That person you mentioned... the shadows living within me are telling me he was my mortal enemy in a past life!"

"T-That's incredible! To think such a person would cross my path..."

"Um, Megumin, that can't be true... can it?"

"What are you saying, Yunyun!? Rivalries that transcend lifetimes are the greatest kind!"

"I-Is that so? Then, maybe in my past life, Megumin and I..."

Oh, thank whatever gods live here, it's actually working.

I'm glad she's eating it up because it's doing severe damage over time to me. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it up.

"In my current state, I don't stand a chance against him. Please, whatever you do, don't let him know about me."

Good, that should do it.

"Ehhh... I think you have a decent chance at taking him."

"... what?"

Is she serious?

"Kazuma's not all that strong, you know. The only thing you have to watch out for are dirty tactics and underhanded tricks."

Oh, I know all about those. But, still...

"... no, I just started out as an adventurer, my level is only 3, you know?"

"Kazuma's stats aren't all that great and he's stuck in the weakest job, Adventurer. He's pretty clever with how he uses skills, but in terms of power, he's not hard to beat. And you took out a squad of goblins all by yourself, right? Not to mention you even have an advanced job."

Wait, how did she–

"How did you know I was a Cavalier?"

"Actually, I'm curious too, Megumin."

The loli witch smirked.

"Isn't it obvious? Someone who can pull off such a cool outfit has to have an advanced job! No one who has a weak job could have that kind of aura."

... she's delusional. Really, Kazuma? This is what you're into?

Yunyun seemed to be taking her dumb reasoning seriously, though, as she was looking at my biker outfit intently.

"That style does kind of remind me of what people back in the village wear. Except for the hat; I've never seen anything like it before."

Fuck, I'm still wearing the fedora, aren't I?

Wait, shouldn't it have been blown off my head by the explosion? Is its cheat power that it can stay on your head no matter what?

I yanked it off and shoved it back into my pocket.

Okay, focus. I can still twist this in my favor.

"... the truth is, I don't want to restart our battle again. Our struggle brought nothing but suffering in our past lives, and I want to break the cycle, so we can both go on to greater things."

Did it work?

"... such a noble and selfless desire. You're even cooler than I thought, Kiriya! Very well! I shall keep your presence here a secret from Kazuma! You have my word!"

I did it, but looking at her earnest face, I felt a bit guilty for lying to her.

Growl

... I just realized I haven't eaten a single thing since starting this new life.

"Well, it's been fun, but I'm starving, so I'm going to go turn in my goblin-hunting quest and get some dinner–"

"Ah, in that case, let's all go together! I'll show you a nice place, and to commemorate our meeting it'll be my treat! You come too, Yunyun. I know you've been dying to eat in a group."

"S-Stop making me sound so desperate!"

All that time I spent in Purgatory, I couldn't eat or sleep. When I took a bite of the fried toad Megumin recommended to me, it was quite literally the best thing I've eaten in a long, long time. I nearly cried tears of joy at experiencing the sensation of taste again.

After bidding goodbye to the two girls, I booked an inn room with the money I earned. Just staying a single night took a noticeable portion of my payout. Seems like an adventurer's life isn't an easy one.

I laid out on the bed, feeling its softness beneath me.

It's been forever since I've slept, too. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to recall what it felt like.

Guess I'll find out now.

Sniffle

"Jeez, you're so reckless, Kiriya. Why would you ride down a hill that steep?"

"Sorry, but I just couldn't help it. It just feels so good to go fast, you know?"

"And does it feel good to crash and cut your knee? Now, stay still."

He gently wiped my wound, then put a bandage on it.

He always carries bandages when we go out to play.

"... thanks."

"You know, I won't always be around to take care of you, so be more careful."

"Why not?"

"Eh? What do you mean?"

He seemed confused.

I don't know why.

It seemed obvious to me.

"We can be together forever if we want. We can just get married."

"I-Idiot, what are you saying?"

Heh, he's cute when he's embarrassed.

"Come on, let's make it a promise, okay, Kazuma?"

"... sure."

My body felt refreshed when I woke up, but my mind felt stressed for some reason.

Did I have a nightmare? I feel like I dreamed about something, but I couldn't remember.

... ah, this must be it.

The pillow is wet. There must've been a leak in the ceiling and it disturbed my sleep.

I'll talk to the manager about it.