Sydney took a deep breath and allowed her eyes to wander up the walkway to the front door of the apartment she shared with Francie, and Will, on occasion, until the fall of the Alliance. When she and Vaughn finally returned from France, she sent Vaughn immediately to bed and checked the messages on the answering machine. Francie had left three, and Will had left one, plus another on her cell phone. Sydney immediately felt guilty for not even telling her friends about her impromptu trip to France, which apparently left them incredibly worried.
And it wasn't just the last five days that stirred up that old familiar feeling of guilt in her stomach. It settled in like a dead weight, entirely comfortable resting there inside of her and making her miserable. Guilt clearly knew its way around Sydney Bristow's body, and it didn't at all mind ruining the joy of being home again. Vaughn noticed her dour expression as he awkwardly dressed for work, and she confessed over breakfast that she grossly neglected her friends in the midst of all the excitement and change in her life. He promised her it was understandable, that Francie and Will wouldn't be angry with her for getting wrapped up in everything - the house, their relationship, the baby - and suggested that she take advantage of her day off to go see them. Since the four of them hadn't really spent a great deal of time together, he gave her full permission to tell them about the baby herself.
But now Sydney wished he was here with her. It was stupid and cowardly, but if she was completely honest with herself, she had pushed them out of her thoughts. She'd waited so long to finally kiss Vaughn, be held by Vaughn, go out to dinner and movies with Vaughn, and the instant that day arrived, she wanted to spend every moment making up for lost time. She was too excited and enchanted with her new life to take time out to call Francie to ask about the restaurant or to talk to Will about his work at the CIA. She still needed her friends, especially now with the baby, but she wasn't at all looking forward to the looks of hurt on their faces when she finally showed up without any good explanation for her sudden absence from their lives.
Sydney placed a hand on her stomach, still flat and evincing no signs of a baby growing beneath her palm, but she could still swear she felt the difference. It calmed her slightly and reminded her of why she needed to face her friends now. They had been her only family for as long as she could remember, and they should be a part of this new addition. Even though their role in her life diminished slightly as she and Vaughn began their own family, this baby would have an aunt and uncle.
With another steadying breath, she stepped out of the car and walked determinedly to the door. "Syd?" Francie asked incredulously, surprised by her friend's appearance in the middle of a work day.
"Hey," Sydney smiled. "Can I come in?"
"Of course!" Francie exclaimed. "It hasn't been that long since you lived here, has it?"
"No," Sydney shook her head. "It hasn't."
Will emerged from the kitchen and they all sat down on the couch. "Syd, don't take this the wrong way, but what the hell are you doing here?" he asked in confusion.
"Will!" Francie scolded.
"It's ok, Fran," Sydney assured her. "I'll explain everything, I promise, but first I just want to apologise for being such a horrible friend to you guys. I don't want to make excuses…there's just been so much going on."
"You don't have to apologise," Will said sincerely. "We're happy for you, Syd, really. You and Vaughn seem really happy."
"We are," Sydney smiled, unable to hide the sheer delirium she felt. And of course, Vaughn had been right. They weren't angry or accusing, and Will really did seem genuinely happy for her, unlike the time she told him about Danny's proposal. Whatever was happening between him and Francie, he was obviously happy as well, and the torch he carried for so long finally seemed to fade.
"So, what are you doing here?" Francie asked after a moment. "Where have you been the last few days?"
Sydney smiled sheepishly. "Actually, I've been in Paris. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving; it was really sudden," she explained hurriedly. "Vaughn…Vaughn was on business there, and it was only supposed to be a few days. But on his way to the airport, his cab was hit by a truck."
"Oh my God," Francie gasped. "But he's okay? I mean, obviously, or you wouldn't be here, but is he hurt? Is he home?"
"Geez, Francie!" Will laughed. "I thought I was the reporter."
"You were," she rolled her eyes. "Until--"
"Later, Francie," Sydney cut her off, sparing Will the embarrassment of having his "drug addiction" brought up again. "And yes, Vaughn is fine. I was actually on the phone with him when it happened."
"Figures," Will smirked. "You two are joined at the hip."
Francie nudged him with her elbow, causing him to yelp in pain. Sydney just laughed and shook her head at their antics. Why was she ever nervous about talking to them? "As I was saying," she continued with a smile. "He was a little out of it, so I talked him out of the car right before it caught on fire. He still inhaled a little too much smoke, though. He broke his arm and bruised his ribs, but the smoke and the concussion were probably the worst of it," she explained, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice as she relayed his injuries. It was ridiculous to cry over it now that he was safe at home and already back at work, but the terror of those first few minutes on the phone, as well as the endless hours until he woke up and crawled into bed with her, still plagued her sleep.
"I'm so sorry, Syd," Francie apologised. "You must have been scared out of your mind."
"I was," she admitted. "But he's okay. I flew over right after the accident and spent a few days with him until he was ready to come home. But actually, that's not why I wanted to talk to you guys."
"What's going on, Syd?" Will asked in concern.
"It's good news," she assured him. "I know Vaughn and I haven't really been together that long, but we've cared about each other for a long time, and--"
"Oh my God!" Francie exclaimed excitedly. "You're getting married! You're engaged! Oh my God, when did he do it? In France? That's so romantic!"
"Okay, no more coffee for you," Will said dryly, pulling her back down to the couch.
"I'm not engaged, Francie," Sydney said calmly. "Not yet, at least. But probably soon. We're…we're umm…I'm pregnant," she finally blurted.
Her friends both stared at her in utter shock. She looked first to Francie, and then to Will, but neither offered any kind of response. The nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach rose to her throat as they sat in silence, and she wondered if they thought it was too soon, that she couldn't do this, that a baby would change absolutely everything. "Guys, say something," she begged them.
"I don't…" Will stammered. "I don't know what to say. I didn't think…I didn't expect…"
"It's great, Syd," Francie interjected, finally finding words. Her smile grew and tears formed in her eyes as she enthusiastically embraced Sydney. "Oh Syd," she cried. "I'm so happy for you and Michael. You must be so excited. How did he take it?"
"He was thrilled," Sydney gushed, the horrible weight in her stomach completely dissolved. "I found out the day of the accident. I probably shouldn't have told him right away," she laughed. "He wouldn't cooperate with the doctors at all. He wouldn't even stay overnight at the hospital."
"That's so adorable!" Francie squealed. "Oh, he's going to make such a good dad."
"I know," Sydney smiled. "The best."
The three of them spent the next hour or so catching up and talking about the baby, until Francie decided that the mommy-to-be should go home and rest. Normally Sydney would object, but she was still on Paris time and completely exhausted from the whole ordeal of the last week. She said her goodbyes, promising they would all get together soon so Francie could continue to drill them with questions and squeal over every detail.
"You look like hell, man," Weiss greeted Vaughn casually, almost as if it was a perfectly normal way to say hello to his best friend.
"Gee, thanks, Weiss," Vaughn rolled his eyes. "I feel like shit, so it's good to know I look the part as well."
"Are you sure you should be here?" Weiss raised an eyebrow, watching as Vaughn wearily took a seat at his workstation and began to flip awkwardly with his good hand through the papers threatening to topple over the side of his desk and onto the floor of the rotunda.
"Probably not," Vaughn sighed, "but Kendall didn't see it the same way, apparently."
"Are you surprised?" Weiss laughed. "So how's the future mommy? Is she coming in today?"
Vaughn frowned and looked up at his friend, narrowing his eyes in careful scrutiny. "How the hell do you even know about that? We haven't even told anyone besides her dad, and I highly doubt he called anyone, least of all you."
"Hey, Jack and I are good friends. I wouldn't be surprised if he has me on speed dial."
"I wouldn't be surprised if he shot you in the head for saying that," Vaughn retorted dryly. "Really, how did you know about Sydney?"
"Roberts told Perkins, who then told Marshall…"
Vaughn sighed again, raising his hand to massage his temple. He was beyond thrilled with the news of Sydney's pregnancy, and he couldn't wait to tell their friends and his mother, but he didn't plan on their private business becoming fodder for office gossip. "You know, for an intelligence agency, no one here can keep a secret," he remarked dryly. "And Sydney's fine. Her dad convinced Kendall to give her the day off. I'm glad he did, since she really doesn't need to be in here yet, but the lack of concern for my welfare…" he trailed off, still a little bitter that Jack didn't extend even a measure of courtesy. A part of him (the naïve, stupid part) hoped that their new kinship might grant him a few extra points in Jack's books, but he was proved sorely wrong with the early morning phone call ordering him into the office while Sydney slept soundly next to him.
"You mean you two didn't bond?" Weiss asked with mock incredulity.
"Yeah, imagine that," Vaughn chuckled. "Jack is such a warm, friendly guy."
Weiss looked up nervously and lowered his voice. "Look busy," he instructed. "The big teddy bear is on his way over."
Vaughn grasped for a report, clumsily knocking the whole stack over in the process. He attempted to recover gracefully, but the minute he bent over to pick up the scattered briefs, he slammed his arm into the desk and cried out in pain.
"Rough morning, Agent Vaughn?" Jack smirked slightly.
"Uh, yeah, a bit," Vaughn admitted sheepishly, his face flushing several varying shades of red as he made a complete ass of himself in front of Sydney's father and the future grandfather of his child. "My arm's still a little sore," he added unnecessarily.
"I would imagine so," Jack noted. "And how are the ribs?"
Vaughn frowned a little, lowering his eyes in suspicion at the unwonted gestures of concern. "Fine," he answered curtly, not at all in the mood to play these games today.
Jack eyed him skeptically. "You were in a major car accident four days ago. I doubt your ribs are 'fine,'" he remarked dryly.
"Yeah, well, it doesn't really matter. I have to be here, and they'll heal," Vaughn sighed.
"Who ordered you in today?" Jack questioned curiously.
"What?" Vaughn gaped. "I thought you did."
"No," Jack shook his head. "I assumed Kendall would put you on sick leave for a few days."
"Now you tell me," Vaughn rolled his eyes. "And no, he didn't give me sick leave. He called bright and early this morning to make sure I knew that I was expected in today."
"Go home," Jack dismissed him casually. "Take care of my daughter, and I'll expect you both tomorrow."
Vaughn continued to stare in confusion, incredibly confused by Jack's fatherly behaviour. In any other situation, it would be completely normal for his girlfriend's father to have a little sympathy, but unfortunately for him, Jack Bristow was his girlfriend's father. And Jack Bristow did not cut anyone any slack, especially if that person happened to be sleeping with his daughter. "Ok…" he said slowly, still making no move to get up.
"Don't look so surprised, Agent Vaughn," Jack said stoically. "Regardless of my personal objections, my daughter has chosen the person she wants to be with. Now that my grandchild is on the way, I suspect that you and Sydney will be getting married. While I don't entirely approve of her decisions, Sydney is an adult and I can't stop her."
"Don't sound too thrilled," Vaughn muttered under his breath.
"I have work to do," Jack responded, ignoring Vaughn's mumble. As soon as he disappeared, Vaughn grabbed his briefcase and shoved a few papers inside. He quickly shut down his computer and made his way over to Weiss' desk.
"Well, it looks like I'm headed home," he remarked cockily.
"What!"
"Jack's sending me home," he grinned. "I believe I just received the closest thing I'll ever receive to a ring endorsement from Jack Bristow, and it didn't even contain threats on my life."
"You are one lucky bastard," Weiss shook his head in disbelief.
"I know," Vaughn smiled. "He even mentioned marriage. I gathered that I don't really have a choice in the matter, but I guess it's something."
"So when are you popping the question?" Weiss asked casually.
"I don't know," Vaughn shrugged. "Not anytime soon. I mean, I was thinking of proposing on Christmas, but that's only two weeks away."
"And the problem with that is…?"
"Weiss!" Vaughn berated incredulously. "I can't ask her to marry me two weeks after we found out she's pregnant! Are you insane?"
"Why the hell not?" Weiss frowned in confusion.
"Then it'll sound like I only want to marry her because she's pregnant. I have to time this just right. And it's not like we're in any big rush now," he explained.
"She could still leave you," Weiss reminded. "Maybe she'll wise up and find a real man."
"Okay, I'm leaving," Vaughn informed him. "Enjoy your long day at work. Sydney and I will think of you while we're relaxing in front of the television."
"Relaxing, right," Weiss nodded knowingly. "You all obviously spend a lot of time 'relaxing' together."
"Goodbye, Weiss."
Vaughn shook his head in amusement as he returned to the parking garage and found his car. He probably wasn't supposed to be driving, since he only had full use of one arm, but he'd driven in worse conditions, and he couldn't just ask a cab to take him to the operations centre for the CIA. The house was a short drive from the JTF anyway, so he was home within thirty minutes.
Thinking she might be asleep, Vaughn parked his car next to hers in the garage and quietly entered through the back door. He slipped out of his shoes and padded silently down the hall, smiling to himself at the thought of crawling back into bed next to Sydney. "Syd?" he whispered as he pushed the door open. When he didn't find her in bed, he called her a name a little louder. "Sydney? You here?"
"In the bathroom!" she called sweetly. After a moment she poked her head out of the bathroom, her brown eyes dancing with delighted surprise. "What are you doing here?" she asked in disbelief.
Vaughn smiled and crossed the room, placing a sweet kiss on her lips. "Well don't be too happy to see me," he teased.
Sydney grabbed his waist and pulled him closer, stopping before their bodies met to ensure she didn't hurt him. She kissed him again, sighing into his mouth as she properly greeted him. "Hi," she murmured breathlessly when they separated for air.
"Hey," he smiled back. "That was a little more like it. But maybe we should try it one more time." He leaned forward again, and Sydney indulged him, lingering close after the kiss ended.
"So what are you doing here?" she inquired.
"Your dad sent me home, actually." He laughed at the look of shock on her face. "Yeah, that's about how I reacted."
"My dad sent you home? Are you sure?"
"Hmm…tall, grey hair, cold, intimidating…yeah, I'm pretty sure it was your dad," he joked.
"Smartass," she quipped, smacking his uninjured arm.
"He was concerned about me," Vaughn shrugged. "Either that or he's plotting my assassination and wanted me as far away as possible."
"I hate to break it to you, Honey, but I'm afraid that explanation is far more plausible," she advised him.
"Yeah, you're probably right," he laughed. "What are you doing up? Shouldn't you be in bed? It's still pretty early."
"Vaughn, I'm fine," she rolled her eyes. "If you recall, you were the one who got hit with a truck. I'm having a baby. There's a big difference between the two." She still shuddered slightly at the mention of the truck, although she tried to cover it. Vaughn noticed, however, and grabbed her hand. "Sorry," she apologised meekly.
"No, don't be," he said gently. "It'll just be a while before I look at a truck the same way," he added dryly.
"Yeah, same here," she murmured, squeeze their joined hands. Then, trying to lighten the mood, she tugged him back to the bedroom. "I went to see Francie and Will right after you left," she informed him.
"How did it go?"
"It was really good," she smiled. "You were right. They weren't mad. Francie wouldn't even let me say two words before she was planning our wedding," she laughed, "but I think she might have liked the real surprise even better."
Vaughn blanched a little at the mention of marriage, not wanting to give anything away but still thrown by her offhanded comment. Sydney noticed his odd expression, but mistook it for pain.
"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly, placing a sweet kiss on his temple.
"I'm great," he answered softly. "But I'll be even better after we take a nice long nap."
Sydney happily obliged with his plan, and he sighed in relief that she didn't mention anything about getting married again. He tugged off his tie but decided against changing clothes, suddenly too tired to move. Sydney picked up on his exhaustion and lay down next to him, completely clothed herself. His arm wrapped around her waist, and she joined their hands once more.
"So I have to ask," she began with a smile.
"Ask away."
"Boy or girl?"
Vaughn lifted his head off the pillow to study her face. She was grinning deliriously, and he couldn't help mirroring her expression. It still felt a little surreal to be laying in bed next to her discussing their child. Sometimes he still woke up and was surprised to find her next to him, her head on his pillow as she continued to sleep. "Honestly, Syd," he said seriously, "I don't care at all. A year ago I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to actually be with you, and now we're going to have a baby. It's just...as long as its healthy, I'll be happy."
Sydney kissed his nose and laid back on the pillow. "Same here," she agreed.
"Well, I know what we're going to have anyway," he teased.
"Oh yeah?" she laughed.
"Of course," he nodded seriously. "We're going to have a little girl, and she'll have your hair and your dimples, and she'll probably be stubborn as hell, but she'll be so adorable I'll never be able to say no to her."
Sydney laughed and kissed his cheek. "What if I think we're going to have a little boy with your eyes?" she challenged.
"Not happening," he shook his head. "Not this time, at least."
"Fine," she smiled. "But our little girl still has to have your eyes. I want all green-eyed children."
"Just as long as they don't get my nose."
"Aw," she chuckled, kissing the tip of his nose. "I think it's cute."
"Please don't ever say that around any of our friends, okay?" he teased. He punctuated the sentence with a yawn, suddenly remembering how tired he was.
"C'mere," Sydney murmured lowly.
Vaughn happily closed the space between them and allowed her to wrap her arms around him. It felt nice to have the tables turned, with her holding him instead of the other way around, and he thoroughly relaxed, pushing away all thoughts of work and stress in favour of living in this moment for all it was worth.
"Vaughn?" Sydney asked suddenly, a slight hint of trepidation in her voice.
He pulled back just far enough to see her face, still close enough to share the same air. "What's wrong, Syd?" he asked in concern.
"Nothing's wrong," she assured him quickly. "I was just thinking...I don't know, since we found out, I guess, about what this will mean when it comes to work."
Vaughn nodded seriously, believing he understood her anxieties. "It will change things," he acknowledged. "You know you'll have to be on desk duty in a few months, and then...I'm not naive enough to think you won't want to go back, at least until we've captured Sloane and your mother. But we can talk about that later."
"That's not what I'm talking about," she shook her head. "Vaughn, our parents were spies, and look at us. We both got sucked into this world because of them, and you know it will be the same for our child."
"Sydney..." he interrupted, not sure what he wanted to say but not at all wanting to follow this topic of conversation now.
"Vaughn, please," she begged him. "We have to talk about this. If you're too tired, it can wait, but we do need to talk about it."
"I'm not too tired, Syd," he promised quietly. "It's just not something I want to think about. It's not something I thought I ever Iwould/I think about," he admitted.
"I know," she nodded. "When I imagined myself having kids, I didn't picture myself working for the CIA. And I never pictured the fathering being a CIA agent as well." At his raised eyebrow, she quickly qualified her statement. "I wouldn't change anything," she assured him. "I can't imagine it being any other way now. It's just..."
"Unexpected," he nodded. "It's okay, Syd. I didn't ever plan on falling in love with a crazy double agent, but I'm glad that I did," he said lightly.
She smiled sweetly, but her grin disappeared as the moment passed. "Vaughn, there are people out there that want nothing more than to hurt us. We're already vulnerable because of each other," she said softly. "As long as we're still a part of this world, we have to consider the possibility of our enemies using our child as a pawn."
Vaughn's eyes immediately darkened at her suggestion. Of course he had thought of the same thing himself, but he didn't want to voice it. Despite the fact that Sydney had been manipulated, treated like a strategical move instead of a child, it still seemed too awful to even consider someone using a baby - Ihis/I baby - as a means to hurt him. But she was right, and they had seen it firsthand. They saw it when Sloane murdered Danny to teach Sydney a lesson, when Irina played on her daughter's affections only to deceive her once again, and even when Sark blackmailed her into handing up Sloane's life in order to receive the cure for the virus. In the world of espionage, attachments were the greatest weakness, and anyone that wanted to get to Sydney or Vaughn would first attempt to hurt their child. Before the baby was even born, he knew he would give up any secret for his or her sake.
"I know it's a long way off," Sydney interjected quietly, breaking him from the troublesome reverie. "I just think we should have a plan."
"It is a long way off," he agreed. "Let's just sleep for now, okay?" he asked quietly.
"Sure," she nodded. "You should rest." She tightened her hold on him and buried her head in his chest.
"I love you," he murmured just before drifting off. He felt her eyes watching him carefully, but he was too tired to insist that she sleep as well. For now, he was content to sleep in her arms, knowing she would be here when he woke up.