"–hopefully you'll be luckier than me. I'm supposed to have a good luck stat, but I got stuck with the worst possible teammates. Sip They're always making my life harder for no good reason..."
I agree with Kazuma on one thing: the luck stat is complete bullshit.
I don't see how finding myself sitting across from the one person I didn't want to meet could be considered "slightly below average luck."
I swear, it's like I'm cursed or something... wait. I did reincarnate without permission, and "borrowed" a bunch of cheats as well... so maybe this is divine retribution?
"Our Archpriest, Aqua– she's not here right now–, is overpowered in theory, but somehow she always manages to screw things up. Sip She's like a little kid, you can't leave her alone."
Whatever, I just need to figure out how to get out of here before he recognizes me.
I have my head buried in my arms right now, but if I try to get up, he might see my face, so I need a distraction.
Come on, think, think... oh right, Megumin! She came in with him, didn't she? She knows I'm trying to avoid Kazuma so she would help me out.
Peeking my eyes up over my arms, facing away from Kazuma, I scanned the room.
There! She's a couple tables over, arguing with another adventurer about something. But how do I get her attention...
"As for Megumin, sip, she's way too headstrong. I know she means well, but sometimes she just doesn't restrain herself enough."
As he said that, Megumin's argument appeared to escalate. She's threatening to swing her staff at the other guy.
A flash of inspiration struck.
I opened my mouth to speak, but then I hesitated. Would he recognize my voice?
... no, there's no way. On top of the fact that we haven't spoken with each other in years, both my voice and my way of speaking have changed a lot since middle school. I should be fine.
Steeling myself, I tried to speak again. Despite my self-reassuring just now, I ended up trying to disguise my voice for good measure anyway.
"Is... that her over there?"
I raised a finger towards her general direction as I spoke in a fake gruff voice.
I heard the creak of his chair as he turned to look, and–
"Oi, why're you getting into a fight the moment I take my eyes off you!?"
"I had no choice, Kazuma! Listen, this guy... ah."
Megumin walked closer as she tried to defend her actions, but when she met my eyes, her voice trailed off.
I jerked my head slightly to gesture at Kazuma, who was looking away from me, and Megumin nodded in return. Looks like she got the hint.
"... say, Kazuma, why're you flirting with another girl the moment I take my eyes off you?"
"Huh? Wait, no, y-you're wrong! I just sat down here and noticed that she was new, so I wanted to share my knowledge as a senpai!"
"The last thing we need around here are more adventurers learning your scummy habits. Now, move aside. I'll take care of teaching the newbie."
"Hey, hold on! You'd be an even worse teacher than me! You know, the other day I got a complaint from Rain saying that you've been teaching Iris weird things!"
"Geh!"
Megumin flinched at that.
Seriously? Why is my savior so unreliable?
I'd better lend her a hand.
I gave a small cough.
"Uh... actually, I... would be more comfortable... talking to another girl."
"See? You heard her, Kazuma. Now, why don't you go check on Darkness? She's being swamped with people asking how her daughter is."
"Okay, okay, fine, jeez. If you teach her anything weird, I'll Drain Touch you and take away your Explosion for a day."
"Do that and you can forget about that promise."
"... r-right, sorry."
Eh? Oi, what the hell was that shyness in his voice!? Even I've never heard that from him before! Is this really the same Kazuma I knew from back then!?
Megumin took his place after he got up and left. Once he was out of earshot, she whispered to me.
"Sorry about that, Kiriya, I forgot you wanted to avoid–"
"Forget about that, what the fuck was that promise that made him so meek!? Are you really... you know, like that?"
"Eh? Ah, that's... well, it's a bit complicated..."
And now she's acting all flustered too!
... hey, what's with this?
I spent god fucking knows how long stuck in purgatory wallowing in self-loathing, and all the while that guy was getting into a good mood with a cute girl?
Even factoring karma in, isn't this difference in treatment way too extreme!? God, I can't believe I ever felt bad about that shitty hikki-NEET!
...
... no, I guess I still feel bad. After all, the reason he became like that was–
"So, Kiriya, how'd it go?"
Megumin suddenly interrupted my thoughts.
Huh? What is she– oh, right, the Rookie Killer. Even though I had such an intense experience and even nearly died, it somehow slipped my mind. This whole Kazuma shit is really messing with my head.
"Uh... the only person that seriously went after it was some bitch with a magic sword, but I was able to make him back off. The Rookie Killer should be leaving the area now, so it'll probably be safe."
She nodded knowingly.
"Luna told me that the magic sword guy was the only one to accept the quest, but that he later returned to cancel."
Luna? I guess that's the receptionist lady's name.
Megumin smiled smugly.
"So you fought that guy off, huh? I knew I was right to trust you. I have an eye for talent, after all."
"Uh, yeah..."
I was still self-conscious after running into Kazuma, so it felt uncomfortable to be praised like that.
"Oh, yeah, I promised you a reward, didn't I?"
The wizard girl took out a little purse, pulled out a single coin, and slid it across the table to me.
I picked it up and looked at it. It wasn't like any of the coins I've seen before. It was sorta silver, but with a strange sheen to it.
"Um... what kind of coin is this? Sorry, I'm still new around here."
"That's a magic silver coin, worth 1 million eris."
"Are you crazy!?"
I jumped up when I heard that, but then quickly sat down again when I realized I was drawing attention. Luckily, Kazuma seemed to be preoccupied with some blonde bimbo and didn't notice my outburst.
Lowering my voice, I asked again.
"Are you crazy? All I did was fight off one guy! This is way too much!"
It's not that I don't want the money, of course. But when someone makes an offer that's drastically in your favor, it means they want something else from you.
Better to play it carefully until you know what their goal is.
Megumin seemed a bit confused at reaction.
"It's not that much. It's only 2% of the bounty that was on the Rookie Killer. It's about the same as the reward for completing a dozen toad quests, or if you're Kazuma, a single cabbage harvest. Considering you had to fight off the magic sword user while also defending a dangerous beast, I think you deserve at least this much."
Wait, back up there. He got a million from harvesting cabbages? ... you know, I'm not even going to ask.
"But, still, for you to give me this much..."
"Oh, it's not coming out of my pocket, so it's really not a big deal."
... eh?
"Wait, so where'd this coin come from? Is it stolen?"
"Of course not, I'm not a thief."
"Right..."
Wait, isn't she the leader of a thieving band?
... well, she doesn't seem to be trying to get me indebted to her, so I'll stop asking questions and accept it. Looks like I'm going shopping tomorrow.
"So, what will you do now?"
"Huh?"
"You want to become a full member of our thieving band? We could use a strong vanguard, especially since Alice isn't always available."
Not a thief, you say.
Why does a thieving band even need a vanguard? Isn't the whole point of thieves to take things without getting into fights?
I feel like trying to be a tsukkomi in this world is a losing battle.
Well, as for what I want to do...
... my original plan was to buy a ticket out of this country.
But I already decided I didn't want to run. I might not be able to face him now, but I just need time prepare, that's all.
In the meantime...
"I'll hang around here a bit longer. I've still got a lot to learn before setting off on my own."
Which isn't a lie. Since I can't be resurrected, I need to make sure I can survive on my own in this bullshit world.
"As for your thieving band... sorry, but I'll have to pass. I've got my own things to do."
"That's a shame, but it's fine. If you ever find a corrupt noble, though, feel free to call on us."
"Hah, as if someone like that would just appear in front of me."
…
Megumin and I both immediately looked towards the door to the guild, but no one entered.
Yeah, right, as if that would actually happen. This world might be just like an RPG, but it's still reality.
"Huh, I thought that would've been a strong enough flag, but I guess no–"
BANG
"Ah, that did it."
A reality that can be bent by the casual words of two teenage girls, apparently. Is it too late to go back to purgatory? It was boring as fuck but at least things made sense there.
A man in fancy clothes strode into the guild, then banged his cane on the floor loudly to get attention.
The adventurers in the guild proceeded to completely ignore him and continued their conversations. Damn, not a shred of respect, huh? I kinda like how these adventurers roll.
The man seemed irritated at the lack of response, but to his credit he sucked it up instead of throwing a tantrum, and made his way to the receptionist lady, Luna.
"Hello sir, what can I do fo–"
"Has there been any progress?
Wow, not even letting her finish her greeting. She seemed unfazed, though. Must be a real professional.
"There was one adventurer that accepted the quest, but he returned later today to cancel, saying that he was unable to kill the beast."
Hm? That sounds like– ah, I see. This guy must be the noble responsible for all the trouble I went through earlier today.
"Huh? Send a stronger adventurer then! I want that foul beast dead!"
Luna smiled.
"Well, that would be difficult, sir, seeing as that one adventurer was our strongest."
"What!? That's preposterous! I know this is a town of novices, but I didn't realize you were all this weak! Call in someone stronger from the capital!"
The noble was now starting to get that attention he wanted, though he was too preoccupied to notice. All the adventurers were quieting down and turning towards him.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the blondie next to Kazuma start to step towards the noble, but Kazuma stopped her.
Luna's smile widened.
"I can certainly try, but it will be difficult to find an adventurer more powerful than Mitsurugi Kyouya."
"Mitsu– eh!? Wait, you mean, that Mitsurugi!?"
The noble recoiled at that name, then started to pale. I remembered from this morning that the takoyaki bitch was well-known, but apparently, he's famous enough that a noble is getting cold feet after accidentally insulting him.
The other adventurers seemed amused by his panic.
After the initial shock wore off, though, he seemed to come to a realization.
"Wait, hold on, someone of that caliber should've had no trouble defeating a Rookie Killer! Are you trying to pull one over on me?"
"A normal Rookie Killer would've likely posed no problem, but as stated in your request, this is an advanced, undocumented variant that's much stronger, right?"
"That's… er…"
Megumin leaned over and whispered to me.
"That Rookie Killer was captured and brought here previously, so Luna knows that it's not any stronger and that the request is bogus."
I see, so that's how it is. Because of the difference in status, she can't directly call him a liar, but now she's forcing him to choose between admitting his lie or giving up on his quest. Either way, he'll lose face.
Receptionists are scary.
While the noble was standing there stuttering, the blondie next to Kazuma shook him off and walked up to the reception booth.
Megumin whispered again.
"Ah, looks like Darkness has had enough. I told her all about this farce of a quest when she got back, and she was not very happy about it."
The fuck kind of name is Darkness? That's, like, an RPG spell or something, not a human name.
"That's quite enough, sir. The adventurers of Axel are not tools for you to abuse, and dishonesty is grounds for loss of access to their services."
"And who might you be, that you dare to talk to me that way?"
Having been freed form that awkward situation, the noble turned to Darkness and directed his anger towards her.
"Dustiness Ford Lalatina."
"… I will now excuse myself."
"That would be best."
The noble suddenly became meek, and silently walked out of the building.
For him to fold like that…
"Say, Megumin, is Darkness…?"
"You don't know about the Dustiness family? Just where did you– oh, right, you're the same as Kazuma. Well, to sum it up, her family's second only to the royal family."
And another big shot shows up in this starter town.
At this point, I don't even care.
Darkness went over to the quest board.
"Luna, you don't mind if I take this down now, right?"
The receptionist gestured towards her.
"Be my guest."
I turned back to Megumin.
"So I guess we don't have to worry about that guy hunting our red-eyed friend now, eh?"
I said that jokingly, but the other girl had a serious expression on her face.
"He won't be hiring any more adventurers, but there are other options if you want something dead. People like him don't know how to take no for an answer."
Sigh. Of course.
"By the way, can I have some of your beer?"
"It's neroid. I don't drink. And you're too young anyway."
"Tch."
I downed the last of my neroid, then looked around. Kazuma was busy talking to Darkness about something and wasn't looking this way. This is probably my best chance to leave without my face being spotted.
"Well, it was nice talking, but I'm gonna dip now while I can. See ya around, I guess."
"Yeah, see you. I'll go see what those two are up to."
I quickly dashed to the door, taking one last look over my shoulder to make sure he didn't see me.
He was laughing about something with Darkness and Megumin.
I wonder if his family would feel relieved if they knew their son was doing well over here.
... family, huh.
As I walked back to the inn, a thought I've been purposely trying to avoid started running through my head.
Back in Japan, I'm dead.
I wonder how Dad is taking it.
I went into my room and flopped on the bed. It's not that late, but I already feel like passing out from all that's happened.
Haaaaah... can't wait to rest...
...
... if there was a way for me to let Dad know that I'm alright...
...
...
... that would be nice...
I rang the doorbell three times rapidly. That's our secret code, so we can tell instantly when the other comes to visit.
About ten seconds later, the door opened.
"Yo, mind if I stay over tonight?"
Kazuma seemed a bit surprised.
"Again? That's the fourth time this week."
"Yeah, I know."
"… well, sure, I guess."
"Thanks. Got any good snacks?"
I walked past him and started raiding his kitchen.
"Hey, Kiriya, Mom, Dad, and my brother are all going to a show, so… it'll just be the two of us tonight…"
"That's fine."
I found a melonpan, and immediately tore open the wrapper and started eating it.
Kazuma seemed a bit ticked off by my indifference.
"You know, we'll be middle school students in a year. People might start spreading rumors if you keep staying over all the time."
"Is that a problem for you?"
He blushed a little.
"Well, no, I mean… I just wanted to make sure you were aware."
"Since when have I ever cared what other people say? Now come on, get the Pl*yst*tion out so I can kick your butt."
…
"Aaaand… there!"
"H-Hey, Kiriya, that's cheating! You can't use those moves together like that!"
"Look, it's not my fault that bug is possible. Fact is, it's in the game, so I'd be handicapping myself if I didn't use it."
"You really have no sense of honor, do you?"
"Honor doesn't win you anything. If you want to win a fight, use whatever dirty tactic you need to. You ought to remember that, Kazuma."
"Ok, fine, we'll play it your way. Time for round–"
Ringgg ringgg
"Ah, hold on, I gotta get the phone."
Kazuma went to answer it.
To be honest, I have a guess as to who it is.
"Moshi moshi? ... Ah, yes, she's here. Should I put her on? … wait, really? Are you sure? … alright, I'll tell her. Bye."
He came back into the room.
"It was your dad. He said your mom's not coming home tonight, so you can come back if you want."
"Why couldn't he say that to me himself? I'm gonna stay right here."
Even when she isn't there, the whole house is stained with the smell of her beer now. Dad probably didn't want to tell me directly because he knew I'd refuse.
"Hey, is everything okay over–"
"It's fine. Dad can take care of himself. Now come on, start the next round already."
"Okay…"
He told me not to worry about him, so I'm not going to worry about him. He said we'll make it through this.
I hope he's right.
Am I cursed by the fucking god of wet pillows or something? This is seriously starting to freak me out.
Well, that aside… that's right, I have a million eris now. That means I should go shopping, right?
Only now, I have to worry about accidentally running into Kazuma.
… I'll just have to be careful, I guess. I went ahead and dressed, and put on the fedora as I headed down to the dining area…
… no, wait. This hat stands out in a crowd here, not to mention that it might help him recognize me as the girl he talked to in the guild. Better to leave that dumb hat here.
After a quick breakfast, I set off for the shopping district… not. One big million eris coin is a bit hard to shop with.
I wonder if the Adventurer's Guild makes change?
"You know, normally people would go to the bank for this sort of thing, Kiriya-san."
"Ah, sorry for the trouble, I'm still not familiar with the area."
Luna shook her head.
"It's fine, it's a pretty easy task. Here, I've exchanged it into gold and silver coins for you."
"Thanks–"
"I'm also keeping 1000 eris as a service fee."
"… fair enough. Thank you. Oh, also, could you point me to some good stores?"
I travelled to the shopping district on the other side of town, and somehow managed to avoid running into Kazuma or any of his friends. Maybe today is the day I finally stop having random dangerous encounters? Wonder if it's 'cause I did something differently today.
Let's see, first up is the obvious priority: clothes. I can't keep going around a fantasy world dressed in jeans, a leather jacket, and motorcycle boots. And I should get some armor, too, of course.
Luna recommended this shop for clothes, eh?
…
Ah, this one seems easy to move in.
…
I like the material for this one, but isn't it way too revealing?
…
So, this is a real mage's robe. It's actually pretty stylish. Too bad I can't use magic.
…
These boots… honestly, they're kinda shitty compared to what I already have.
…
A cape? Nah.
…
… although… no, no cape.
…
And I'll take two of these tops for wearing around town.
Okay, nice. I've got three bags full. That should be enough for now. Might be a bad idea to get too much when I still don't own a wardrobe.
Now for armor. This blacksmith is the most popular one, I believe.
I walked in, and was immediately assaulted with the scent of iron. Weapons lined one wall, while the other side of the room was crowded with display stands outfitted with armor.
I came for armor, but should I get another weapon too? Maybe a small dagger as a sidearm, or… is that a fucking katana?
Why the fuck is there a fucking katana in my fucking fantasy blacksmith shop!? I demand to see the scenario writer! My immersion is completely ruined!
"Oh, hello young miss. I see you've noticed that curved blade I have there. You see, this design is actually–"
"Don't care. You got any good daggers?"
"O-Oh, well, sure, over here…"
He seemed a bit hurt that I didn't want to talk about his creation, but my mood has already been ruined.
"This one should suit your needs good. Holds an edge well, and the grip is very ergonomic. You can actually get a discount if you buy a pair of them."
"Hm, sounds good. I'll take it. Also, could you show me your armor? And maybe a shield too?"
"Certainly, miss, right this way…"
Now that I've bought something, his mood has shot up again. What a fickle person.
"What traits are you looking for in terms of armor? This chain mail is very protective, but also rather heavy."
That's a good question. If I had to say…
"I want something that'll give me solid protection without slowing me down."
"Hm, I assume you mean you want something more than leather armor. Here then, how about this breastplate set? It comes with gauntlets and greaves. It only protects your vitals and limbs, but you should be able to move how you want. And I'd also recommend this buckler, it's not particularly large but is both light and strong."
This guy has been pretty helpful. I'll give him a tip.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My adventuring outfit now consists of locally made shirt and pants, with a shiny new breastplate to keep me safe. I'm still wearing the motorcycle boots, though. They're just straight-up better than what they have here.
I even made a few poses. Yep, I look like a bona fide adventurer now.
And now that I'm properly equipped, I can take on some real quests!
…
…
I got so caught up in my shopping spree that I forgot my actual goal. I need to work up the courage to talk to Kazuma. How do I do that? Is there anyone I can ask for advice?
… ah, there is, isn't there. But I don't exactly like him, that annoying self-proclaimed devil.
Then again, he's probably my best bet.
… come to think of it, he says he's 'all-seeing,' doesn't he?
I wonder if he knows a way to get back to Earth?