Author's note: I'm back!
The mansion, 3 am
Kazuma's POV
After a long, fulfilling day of patrolling town, I was unwinding by playing on the GameGirl console. It's been rather quiet since Sylphina left. I'm sure something bothersome will happen sooner or later, though, so I'm making the most out of this downtime.
"Aha! Thief! I knew I sensed someone!"
Huh? Why is that idiot goddess shouting at 3 in the morning? Can't I just play my video games in peace?
I heard a door slam, then the sound of someone pounding on said door.
"I know you're in there, thief! Now come out and face my divine judgement, or when I get in there I'll beat you up!"
Wait, is there actually someone else here? My Detect Enemy skill didn't pick up any hostiles, but I guess a thief wouldn't have killing intent. As much as I don't want to get out of my comfy bed, this is still my home, so I can't just ignore this or I'll bring shame to home security guards everywhere.
I opened my bedroom door and looked down the hall, where Aqua was banging on the closet door and attempting to pull it open.
As I was about to speak, the door suddenly flew open, and Aqua went sprawling on the floor.
I peered into the closet, but didn't see anyone.
"Aha! Got you... now? Eh? Ehhh!?"
Aqua had jumped back to her feet, only to find the same empty closet I was looking at.
"Aqua, if you keep disturbing my private time for no reason, I'm gonna delete your character again."
"I'm not making this up! There really were thieves here! I saw them!"
There were more than one?
The door to Megumin's room opened, and the archwizard trudged out, rubbing her eyes.
"Hey, why are you guys making a ruckus at this time of night?"
"Oh, Aqua here claims to have seen intruders in our mansion."
Aqua's cheeks puffed up with indignation.
"I'm telling you, they were really there! They went into the closet and then disappeared!"
I crossed my arms.
"Oh really? Then what did they look like?"
"They... well, I only saw them from behind, but there was a silver-haired boy and a girl with black hair."
... there's only one silver-haired thief around these parts. Chris would probably cry if she heard that even Aqua mistook her for a boy.
But I have no idea who the other girl could be. Black hair... could she be from Japan like me?
I need to find Chris and ask her for details. Speaking of which...
"You said they went into this closet?"
I stepped in and looked around.
There definitely wasn't anyone hiding in here.
Megumin poked her head through the doorway.
"Say, Kazuma, there's something on the floor."
I looked down. It was a small box, with the lid lying next to it.
"I think this was that item that takes you to Japan. In that case, we just need to wait for them to return. Aqua, you keep watch here."
"Eh? Why me?"
"Because I want to go to sleep, and you're the one who claims there were thieves."
"Hey! Why am I being punished!? I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Er, Kazuma, you know that that would just end up with Aqua falling asleep and the thieves getting away."
Well, yeah, that's the idea. Chris wouldn't break in here for no reason. If there's a divine relic involved, it'd be better to ask her about it in private, rather than have the knuckleheads in my party sticking their noses in.
"Don't worry, Megumin. I'm sure Aqua can handle it. I'll even give her a bottle of wine."
That caught the alcoholic goddess's attention.
"Heh. You'll regret looking down on me, hikki-NEET. Staying up all night is child's play!"
"See, Megumin? She can handle it. Now I'm heading to bed, so goodnight."
"If you say so... wait, where's Darkness? Did she seriously sleep through all that racket?"
Huh, now that she mentions it... well, even with Sylphina gone, Miss Dustiness is still helping out with her father's work since he's not 100% recovered yet, so it makes sense that she'd be more tired than the rest of us.
I went back into my room and climbed into bed. I was planning to go back to my game, but I'm actually feeling tired now, so I shut my eyes...
Heaven
My name is Akechi Kiriya. I'm an ordinary high school girl... well, that's a lie. I'm a delinquent who gets into fights and drives my motorcycle around in the dead of night. I betrayed my closest friend and regretted it ever since.
I also died. A truck smashed into my bike, sending me straight to the afterlife, where I met a bitchy blue-haired goddess who locked me up in purgatory. After a while, though, I found that the door was unlocked, so I left, ending up in a fantasy world right out of an RPG game. While there, I made some new friends, ran into an old one, and almost died to save the life of a monster.
And then after returning to Japan and almost meeting the father I left behind, I suddenly found myself back in heaven, facing an infuriated goddess named Eris.
"Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
I'm still trying to process what just happened. I was just in my house, and then suddenly I was here...
"D-Did I... just... die somehow?"
Speaking was difficult with the weight of her pressure bearing down on me.
Eris shook her head.
"You're still alive, for the moment. I used magic to physically bring you here to heaven. Akechi Kiriya, you should not be alive right now. Do you understand?"
So I didn't die? Then that means... this damn goddess just yanked me away at the worst possible time! Is every single goddess in existence such a pain in the ass!?
The realization immediately drowned out my fear with rage.
"Send me back right now."
"Eh?"
Eris actually jumped a but at my sudden outburst. She quickly regained her composure, however.
"Excuse me? Were you not listening to a word I said? Your second life is illegal and–"
"And that gives you the right to stop me from talking to the father I never got to say goodbye to before I died? I don't even care if you send me to hell afterwards, but if you don't send me back now, you don't deserve to call yourself a goddess!"
Eris opened and closed her mouth, seemingly at a complete loss for words.
... I'm realizing a bit late that yelling at a literal goddess is probably not a smart move. I closed my eyes in anticipation.
Dad, your daughter might be about to die for the second time. I hope you're able to find happiness, and that I'll be reborn as someone less stupid in my next life.
...
That's strange. I'm not being struck down.
When I opened my eyes, Eris was still standing in the same place, but her expression had changed. To my surprise, she seemed a lot less hostile now.
"Normally, talking like that to a goddess is a good way to go straight to Hell, you know?"
"I, uh, figured as much."
"However, I didn't sense any malice from you just now. Only pain, desperation, and regret."
"Oi. Don't just peep on my emotions, you perv."
She giggled. It was a clear, airy sound.
"When I first discovered what you had done here in heaven, I had you pegged for a dangerous criminal mastermind, one that could even deceive me. But looking at you now, that picture really just doesn't fit you at all."
"I'm... flattered?"
"So how about this: You answer a couple questions for me, and then I'll decide what happens next."
... hey, is this for real? Do I actually have a chance to get out of this?
"First of all, how and why did you break out of purgatory?"
... well, shit.
I guess... I should probably just be honest, right?
"The door was unlocked, and... the door was unlocked."
Eris blinked.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"
"I got tired of waiting and tried the door handle, and the door opened. So I left."
"That..."
Eris scratched her cheek, deep in thought.
"... I need to look into something. I'll leave the second question for later. You can go back to Japan for now."
"Wait, what, hold–"
"–up. Oh."
She put me back right where I was before, halfway down the staircase at my house. I looked at the doorway, but Dad wasn't there anymore.
But his shoes were there. So he's still home after all.
I don't know what Eris is thinking, but I can't risk wasting a single second.
I descended the stairs and looked around, but he wasn't on this floor.
I headed back upstairs and checked his bedroom... but he wasn't there either. Where could he... oh.
Yep, there he is. He was in my room, sitting at my desk, fast asleep, his head resting on his arms with my memorial photograph watching over him. Now that I'm taking a closer look, I can see that he's wearing a uniform of some kind. So he's doing night shifts now? That would explain why he wasn't here at night.
... I can't hesitate now. Not when I've come all this way.
I walked up to him, and gently shook his shoulder.
"Mrph... hrm?"
"Hey Dad."
"Huh? ... Kiri-chan? ... !"
He jumped up, knocking over the chair he was sitting on, and embraced me. I hugged him back. All my worries, about the goddess, about the other world, about Kazuma, all melted away. God, I'm 16 years old and yet I'm still just a scared little girl inside, aren't I?
We stood there in silence for a bit before Dad finally broke the silence.
"This is a dream, isn't it?"
"..."
"Even so, I'm glad I got to see you again, Kiri-chan."
"... I'm sorry, Dad. Sorry for leaving you all by yourself."
"No, I'm sorry. It was all my fault. All those years I knew I should have done something, but I was too scared."
"Scared of mother?"
"No, not at all. I was scared that if I made the wrong decision, we'd be separated, and I'd never get to see you again. So I never made any decision... But then I ended up losing you anyway. I was such a fool."
"Nah, I'm also to blame. I just kept running instead of facing my problems. I'm just glad you're doing okay now. The bike is all fixed up, and the house is clean and nice-smelling."
We finally separated, and he took half a step back to see me better.
"It wasn't easy, I tell you. When I got the news back then, I honestly wasn't sure what to even live for anymore. But... after a lot of thought, I realized that with nothing left to lose, I should conquer my fears once and for all. And I did! And look–"
He gestured to his uniform.
"– I even got that dealer job at the casino! You know, the one I talked about that one time."
"Pfft, what? You were serious about that? I thought that was a joke!"
He put on a feigned hurt look.
"Hey, you should know that I never joke about my dreams. Oh, and... as for your mother–"
"I don't give a shit. I'm just glad you did what you needed to. It's... more than I was able to do, after all."
A melancholic expression came over him.
"... ah, you mean Kazuma? I... well, I suppose I should tell you."
"Tell me what?"
"Well... after that night that you... crashed... the very next morning, Kazuma got into an accident and... passed away."
I suspected as much, seeing as he was in the other world, but like my own death, it didn't quite feel real until I heard it from someone else.
"... you know, Dad... something special happened. I was reborn, in a whole other world. Kazuma was there, too. It's a stupid world with things like flying vegetables, masked devils, and giant frogs. I think you'd enjoy it."
Dad laughed. It felt like the last time I heard that laugh was a lifetime ago. I guess technically it was, actually.
"That sounds like a wonderful world. Are you having fun there?"
"... yeah, I am. And once I go back there, I'm probably never gonna see you again. So I wanted to say goodbye."
To be honest, I'd rather just stay here. In fact, I really, really just want to stay here forever.
But I can't. I'm dead in this world, and I still don't even know if Eris is gonna let me go free.
Oh yeah, and there's also the time limit from the item that brought me here to begin with.
So no matter what, I can't stay.
... but I'm glad I got to say goodbye this time, at least.
"... so you have to go, huh? This dream can't last forever, after all. I want you to take something first, though."
Dad turned around, opened a drawer in the desk, and pulled out a photo.
"I kept this photo because it reminded me of when you were happiest. Here, take it."
My face broke into a dumb grin when I saw what was on the photo. I tucked it gently in my jacket pocket.
Dad then suddenly hugged me again.
"Thanks for visiting, Kiri-chan. And goodbye. I love you."
"I love you too, Dad. Now, you should get back to bed so you can wake up."
"Yeah."
Dad went to his bedroom, taking one last glance over his shoulder and smiling at me before he left.
And then I was alone in my room again.
My chest hurt, but not as bad as I had expected it to.
I felt... peaceful, I guess.
I took a look at the clock. It was now a little past 14:00, so the magic item should expire soon. Eris said she would talk to me again, right? She'd better hurry then.
As I was thinking about that, I wandered downstairs and left the house, and then found myself walking next door. Kazuma's house. The bikes were gone from the bicycle rack, so his parents must be at work, and today is probably a school day, so his brother wouldn't be here either.
I checked under the large rock next to the bike rack.
Yep, the spare key is still here. Since I've got no other business left here, I might as well see how things are here.
I let myself in and made my way up to Kazuma's room. Much like my own, it was very neat and clean, with a memorial photo of the deceased on the desk. His PC was still there. Since he had the magic item that let me come here, I wonder if he used it. If he did, he probably would've wiped that PC's data.
PC aside, I don't think he'd keep the rest of the room this clean, so it was probably cleaned up by his family.
Heh, I guess they probably cleaned up under his bed too... oh shit, they didn't. The treasure of adolescent boys is still here.
...
...
... wow, this is some pretty spicy shit. I bet he'd die of embarrassment if anyone found this.
Though, I guess he's already de–
–ad. Oh, I'm back here. I hurriedly shoved what I was looking at into my back pocket.
"Welcome back, Kiriya."
This time, Eris was sitting at a desk, with some papers scattered across it. She had her chin in her hand as she pored over the documents. The only thing this image was lacking is that she wasn't wearing glasses.
"I've been looking over the records, and found things that don't add up. But before that, I wanted to ask you the second question I had earlier. After you esca– er, left purgatory, why did you reincarnate yourself?"
"Ah, that's because... well, I just wanted to get out of heaven as fast as I could, and that was the only option I found."
"So you were afraid of getting caught? In other words, you felt that you did something wrong when you left purgatory?"
"Okay, look. My only experience there was with that annoying goddess Aqua who treated me rudely and then just shoved me into purgatory without a second thought. If I assume that everyone else in heaven is just as unreasonable, of course I'd be scared of getting caught no matter what."
"Okay... and why did you steal the hat?"
"Well, I wasn't just going to go in without anything, so I grabbed what I could, and that hat was one of the– ah."
Shit, I slipped up. And Eris definitely didn't miss it.
"One of them? How many did you take?"
"I... don't know. A handful? Other than the hat, the only other item I got was a weird sword shaped like a pipe."
"So the rest were powers. Sigh. At least you didn't bring a dozen divine relics to clutter up that world even more. I'll get back to that later. Before that, we need to talk about purgatory."
I gulped as Eris turned back to the papers.
"It says here you were sentenced there for the sins of deceit and betrayal. I assume you're aware of what that might refer to?"
"... yes."
"But looking at your overall karma, you were still just barely in the positive."
"... eh?"
"While you did some bad deeds in your final years, you also kept doing good deeds, such as helping the old lady who lived next to your house with her mail. Those good deeds, combined with all the good karma you had accumulated as a child, were just enough to offset your bad deeds."
"Wait, so... I shouldn't have even been in purgatory?"
"Here's the thing: betrayal is the second most grievous sin besides murder. Although your overall karma was positive, that crime can't be ignored, so in a case like this it's up to the goddess judging you to make a decision."
Eris looked back up and smiled wryly.
"And I recall it was around this time that Aqua-senpai was complaining to me about a manga that ruined her evening because of something called 'NTR.' So you really just had the worst timing."
Oi, seriously!?
"And as for purgatory being unlocked... well, Aqua was pulled away from heaven before she put in a notice about you, so no one knew to come get you. So you had already done your time when you left."
That. Damn. Bitch. I swear I'm gonna ki– ahem. Right, she's still a goddess. I'm gonna scold her until she cries. And then scold her some more.
"That being said, you did still reincarnate illegally and steal multiple cheats. And while I could take the relics back, I can't take back the powers. So what should I do about this, hm?"
"Uh... accept my profound apology? Look, I'm sorry about that, but haven't I been through enough shit already?"
Eris stood up and approached me.
"No, I agree. You deserve a break after all that's happened. But you also still need to take responsibility, okay? So how about this..."
... I opened my eyes. The box was sitting in my left hand, and its lid in my right hand.
"Huh? Isn't it supposed to take us to Japan when I open this?"
Shit, I was counting on that! Now how are we gonna escape from Aqua... wait.
"Hey Chris, is it just me, or did the banging and shouting stop?"
Chris walked towards the door.
Wait a sec, wasn't she blocking the door? How'd she get on the other side of the closet?
The thief girl inched the door open, and sunlight immediately streamed in.
Sunlight?
"Well, Kiriya, it looks like we did go to Japan after all. You said it wipes your memory when you return, right?"
Oh yeah, it does, although I don't remember if I told Chris that. And since it's daytime now, that means time must've passed.
And now that I think about it, it feels like there's some stuff in my pockets that wasn't there before.
"Wait, so is the coast clear?"
Chris held a finger up to her lips, then pulled the door open all the way. Aqua was sitting in a chair in front of the closet, fast asleep.
The thief turned back to me and mouthed the words, "let's go."
I took another long swig of neroid. I'll never get tired of that swish sensation.
"You sure you don't want a beer?"
Chris offered me her mug. It was filled with the Adventurer's Guild specialty, Crimson Beer.
"Nah, alcohol means nothing but bad things to me."
"Suit yourself."
Chris downed the rest of her drink.
"So, do you think you managed to do what you wanted?"
"I... think so?"
There were three things in my pockets that I must've picked up back in Japan.
1: An old picture that could've only been given to me by Dad, because I know that no one else would've ever kept something like that. So that means I must've been able to meet him, then. Thinking about what it must've been like gave me a strangely peaceful feeling.
2: A certain item that would be right at home beneath a teenage boy's bed. I'm still trying to figure out why it was in my back pocket.
3: A short note with some sort of emblem on it. Chris identified it as the symbol of the goddess Eris. The note simply read: To repay your debts to heaven, you must assist when called upon. When I first read it I got chills, since apparently my illegal reincarnation was discovered. But since I'm still here, I guess I made some sort of compromise so I could stay? I'm glad it worked out, though I'm a bit worried what that "assistance" entails.
"There's some questionable stuff, but I think I did what I needed to."
Chris grinned.
"It feels good to finally take care of business that's been hanging over you, right?"
"Yeah, it really does."
I finished up my own drink.
Chris leaned over the table.
"If you don't mind a bit of advice: if there's anything else at all that's still weighing you down, you should keep your momentum going and get that done as well, yeah?"
... she's got a point. I already know what it's like to die with regrets, after all.
... okay, I'll do it! Before I start hesitating again, let's do it!
"Thanks for everything, Chris. Now that you mention it, there is someone I still need to have a talk with."
As I left the guild and headed back to the mansion I had just escaped from, Chris waved.
"Good luck!"
...
...
I backtracked and returned to the table.
"... I'm actually really fucking nervous, so could you come with me?"
Chris giggled. It was a clear, airy sound.
"Alright, but only if you buy me more drinks later."