After it Fades

Chapter Four- Always a Godmother, Never a God

Disclaimer: It's all Amy, etc.

Summary: My version of what happens after the screen fades to black each week.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys, I appreciate them so much. Today, I'm hoping to also get We've Got Magic to Do up. And possibly a new chapter to Diary but, I'm not sure yet. I'll try.

Please review.

It wasn't the same. It was so far from the same.

I took the remote and turned off the TV. I couldn't watch it anymore, not without her. I turned around and moved the Nutter Butters and KitKats to the other side of the bed. I fell on my back and tried to relax in my bed. This was the type of movie we'd watch together, the type of movie we'd laugh over and enjoy together. I couldn't watch it alone.

The house was so silent, so empty. I couldn't remember it being this silent since Rory had gone to Yale and I had just come home. It was that horrible type of silence. The kind where you couldn't even hear the sound of crickets, or the wind blowing the trees. The kind you couldn't even fix by blasting Metallica or Ozzy Osbourne. The kind were you were just alone with your thoughts. The kind where you were just alone.

For the first time since she had moved out, I felt so completely alone. Everything was too quiet, it was too lonely.

I didn't want to think about it.

I turned on my side and stared at his side of the bed. His side of the bed? The thought made my head spin a little bit. Luke had his own side of the bed.

I never had any guys sleep in this bed with me before. I never had to move over, I always got to sleep in the very middle of the bed. I had never had to sleep on a certain side of my bed. If I moved over for anyone it would be for Rory when she was 5 and afraid of the thunderstorm outside.

No other man had ever slept in this bed with me. I tried to think. I went through every man I had ever been in a relationship with -trying to figure out if they had ever slept in this bed.

Christopher- No… Sure, we slept on my parent's balcony, and maybe in my bed at the Gilmore's if my parents weren't home. But, that happened maybe once and if was just after we had sex and it was too late to go home. It wasn't anything special and it had never meant anything.

Max- Nope… The whole thing with Rory living in my house and me having guys sleep over…That wouldn't work out too well. I mean, if we had gone through with the wedding, I assume he would have slept in my bed with me- maybe even have his own designated side, but it didn't matter because the wedding didn't happen. And before the wedding, I didn't even give him a house key, never mind let him stay in my bed.

Christopher again…Oh God, that was just at the Dragonfly. Nothing special, I mean at the time I thought it was going to be, but it wasn't.

Alex- Nah, that wasn't anything really. We stayed in a hotel room in New York but not in my house. He was just a fishing buddy, not a sleep over man.

Jason- Hah. The man wouldn't even let me sleep in his own bed with him. I stayed over his house but he never stayed at mine.

Then there was Luke

He got to sleep in my bed –Our bed.

I had never let anyone else sleep in this bed with me. No one besides Rory. She had always been the only other person in my life. The only one who could sleep in my bed with me. She was the only one I let in, the only one I would move over for.

I had never let anyone else in my life. Not Chris, not in that way anyway. Not Max, I didn't love him. Not Alex or Jason…nobody. It had always just been the Lorelai's, nobody else.

But, then there was Luke. My wonderful Coffee-Pourer, Dinner-Man, Flannel-and-Backwards-Baseball-Cap-Wearer, Ice-Bringer, Chuppah-Maker, Father-of-My-Dream-Twins, Shoe-Fixer, Inn-Saver, Fixer-of-Everything-that-Needs-Fixing, Fishing-Teacher, Bell-Breaking-Partner, Wedding-Buddy, Only-Waltzes-with-Me-Man, Beater-Upper-of-Rory's-Boyfriends, Ice-Rink-Maker, Boat-Builder, and now Fiancee, Luke.

I let him in, I let him sleep in my bed. I moved over for him.

I picked up the phone that was sat on the table beside the bed.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hey." I told him.

"Hey." He said happily. "I thought you were watching movies." He said.

"I was…" I trailed off, not really wanting to explain why I stopped.

"Oh." He understood. He always understood.

"Yeah." I said.

"Are you coming home?" I asked.

"Home." He repeated. I knew he was a little surprised when I said that. Home- I always just said 'hey come over' or something…never…home. "Yeah, in a little bit." He said.

"How much longer…?" I whined.

"Not too long." He laughed a little bit. I could tell he was smiling.

"Good." I said.

"Bye." He told me.

"Bye." I said and hung up the phone.

I heard the truck drive up and without even realizing it, I stood up and met him outside.

"Hey?" He said with a questioning tone.

I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him.

"Hi." I replied. He put his arms around me, too. I could feel his uncertainty, but I just wanted to hug him.

"You, OK?" He asked after a minute or two.

"Yup." I answered confidently.

"C'mon." I said, taking his hand and leading him inside the house.

I moved all of the junk food out of the way and he went ahead and sat on the bed- his side of the bed.

"So, did you match the baby?" He asked, mocking me from our earlier conversation.

"Yes." I smiled.

"That's a relief." He said sarcastically.

"Well, what if I was wearing blue but he was wearing orange? It wouldn't have looked good. I wouldn't watch the fashion police on my back." I quipped.

"Yeah, thank God." He said. "So…besides that how was it?" He asked. I knew he was hinting about Rory but, I wasn't quite ready to talk about her yet.

"Well, Jackson's brother is a pig." I said.

"What?" He asked.

"He kept hitting on me." I said.

He laughed.

"Hey, you know when your fiancée tells you that another man was hitting on her, your supposed to be angry. You're supposed to go beat him up or something." I say.

He stills laughs.

"You know, I might just go run off with Bo. He doesn't laugh at me. He'd beat up somebody who hit on me." I said.

"Yeah, go run off to the horse ranch with him. I'm sure you guys could have a nice wedding there…He'd wear overalls and hey, you can borrow one of my flannels shirts. And I'm sure he'd plan a nice honeymoon in the pig pen…And awww, you'd have adorable little farm babies…" Luke said.

"Hey!" I said throwing a pillow in his face. "You never know…" I said.

"You'd miss my coffee too much." He smiled.

I paused for a moment. "That's true." I smiled.

He nodded and then gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Do I really have competition?" He asked sweetly.

"No, I think you're good." I told him.

"Good." He nodded.

"So, I saw Rory." I told him.

"How'd it go?" He asked.

"Well…It was like we were at our high school reunion and I was the one in 10th grade who put her underwear on the flagpole." I said.

"Lorelai…" He began.

"I don't know, she just acted like I was…something. I don't know." I said.

"It'll get better." He said.

"Yeah…"

"It will. She wants it to get better and so do you. It will." He said.

"You're sitting on your side." I smiled, not even meaning to say that out loud.

"What?" He asked.

"Your side." I stated. "That's your side."

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I've never had to move over for anyone besides Rory. Nobody." I told him, knowing that he didn't have a clue what I was talking about but, I needed to tell him the whole story.

"She'd come in my room during a thunderstorm or something and she'd be scared, so I would move over and she'd sleep here. Or sometimes, after we'd watch a scary movie she'd want to sleep in my room because since she slept on the first floor, she thought she'd die first. I'd move over for her." I said.

"What?" He asked.

"I've never had any other man sleep in this bed with me. Not Chris, not Max, not Alex or Jason, nobody…" I went on.

"But, that's your side of the bed." I said pointing to where he was sitting.

"I move over for you and you sleep there." I said.

"That was always Rory's side of the bed, if anybodys. But, now it's yours…" I said. "But it's not like your replacing her because your not... I have a big bed." I said, still not even sure if I understand what I'm saying.

"You and Rory." I said and I'm sure I'm going crazy because I'm starting to confused myself.

But I looked up at Luke and he's sitting there with a small smile on his face. He nods as if he understands. How does he always understand? How can he understand when I don't even know what I'm talking about?

He pulls me into a hug and we lie down together.

"Wanna watch the movie?" He asks gently because I know he's still not sure if I'll be able to watch it without Rory.

I nod and turn on the movie.

It's still not the same. It's still far from the same. It's different.

But different is good sometimes.

A few months ago, it would have been Rory and I, sitting on the couch, eating junk food, watching this movie. It would have been fun, movies with Rory were always fun.

But, today it's Luke and I, on our own sides of the bed but still snuggled up in each other's arms. And it's still fun.

I wrote that pretty fast so I'm very sorry if it sucked. It was a lot better the first time I wrote it but then it got deleted and I tried writing it again but it didn't come out as good because I totally forgot a ton of it.

Review as always!

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