Disclaimer: Standard – I don't own the characters, blah blah blah.

Jangle, jangle, jangle.

"Is this table ok, doll?"

"As my old esteemed colleague and mentor Gene Kelley once said 'Patricia, take what life gives you and don't question it.' "

Babette gave her companion a strange look. "I'll take that as a yes. So, what juicy news do you have?"

"Well, let me just say – oh, hello Luke. Lovely morning, isn't it sweetie?"

"What kind of news is that?" Babette asked confused before noticing the man forever clad in flannel approaching.

"Hey Miss Patty, Babette. The usual?"

"Sure thing, doll, oh and add more mustard this time, will ya? Morey says mustard is good for your intestines. He was watching one of those new health shows, ya know the ones were everyone's running around yelling 'STAT' all the time? Anyway, one of the doctors told his patient he needed to eat more mustard...or was it mayonnaise?" Luke sighed, shaking his head as he left to begin their orders.

Miss Patty leaned in and began conspiratorially "Guess who I saw yesterday?"

"Bob Barker? Kirk said that he thought Bob Barker might be stopping in Star's Hollow on the way to Hartford for his pet awareness conference."

"Oh, my dear, this is much more exciting than Bob Barker!"

"Who's more exciting than Bob Barker? Well, tell me already, my rheumatism is gonna start acting up."

"Remember that not so lovable hooligan that we all loved to hate?"

"Sal Mineo?"

"Mmm, maybe his younger book loving monosyllabic twin."

Babette gasped, then whispered "Jess?"

"The very hoodlum."

"But why was he back?" the blond questioned in an excited tone.

"Well, I'm not sure entirely and far be it for me to spread town gossip but...Al said that Kirk said that Gypsie said that the town troubadour was singing a song about uncles and nephews needing to get along. What could that possibly mean other than he must've overheard something between Jess and Luke?"

"Does Lorelai know about this?"

"I don't think so, I think that she went with Sookie and Jackson to take the kids to the beach for the weekend."

"And you can bet that Luke isn't going to want to mention it when she returns...is Jess still here?"

"I don't know."

"I wonder what would have brought him back in the first place?"

"Sex. It's always about sex, believe me. Why when I was a young chorus girl, still bright eyed and naïve, I was very excited when a casting director asked to see me after the auditions. Well, Tallulah Bankhead was standing next to me after he left, and she said to me, I'll never forget it, she said 'listen dahling, never trust a casting director who asks to meet up later – they're all wolves'."

"What's that have to do with Jess?"

"He's a wolf, and he's after our Rory."

"But she's at Yale, why would he come here looking for her?"

"He would need to get her address from Luke. Oh, and it's almost time for the annual Spring Day Fever weekend. He knows Rory never misses that."

Jangle, jangle, jangle.

"Oh, I bet you're right-"

Miss Patty shushed her scandal buddy and greeted brightly "Hello Lorelai, how was the beach?"

"Hi Miss Patty and Babette. It was beautiful! Even Genie and Major Nelson couldn't have had a better time. What were you two bent over talking about? It seemed plummy."

"The weather-"

"-Cricket."

"It's good weather for cricket, don't you think?"

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