Melissa comes to a heart wrenching decision.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Shortly after Melissa left for the day around noon, Dr. Wilson walked into Dr. Cuddy's office looking glum and sullen but tried to smile as he sat down across from her.
"Sorry I couldn't be here earlier, boss. House was up to his usual shenanigans again." Wilson lied, trying to lighten the mood.
"Did you know Andie died?" She asked him.
"Yeah, Chase told me. He's taking it pretty hard." Wilson watched her for a few moments waiting for her to get to the real reason why she asked him into her office.
"Are you going to the funeral?"
"I wasn't planning on it." Wilson answered, rather coldly. "Can I ask you a question?"
Cuddy nodded her head as she took a gulp of her soda.
"When she was leaving that day and she was saying goodbye to House, you turned to me before you left. I could see something in your eyes that I could never quite figure out. Why didn't you wait to leave until she walked out?"
She looked at him but didn't say anything at first, then said, "It was just hard to see her leave."
He stared back, pondering whether he should let it go, or press the matter further. "What did you want, Cuddy?" He finally asked.
"Andie's funeral is the day after next. Tell the gang they're allowed leave to attend."
"Are you sure that's all you wanted?" He asked, knowing there was something more to the story.
She shook her head and he took the clue that he was 'dismissed.' He reluctantly stood up and walked out, heading straight for House's office.
Cuddy sat back in her chair, swiveled it around to face the building next door and closed her eyes. She remembered the day Andie left like it was yesterday: the pounding of her heart…the ache of holding back tears… the confusion at seeing House not returning Andie's hug.
'Why hadn't that bastrd hugged her back? He can't be that cold.' …
Her thoughts went to a goodbye hug of an 8-year old boy because it would be the last time she'd ever see him.
CUDDY'S MEMORY
Ms. Lisa Cuddy sits on her bed in the middle of the night under the covers grasping the blanket up to her chin with her head and shoulders propped up against pillows, wide wake. It has been that way the past few months. She's barely gotten any sleep, happily goes to school because it keeps her mind occupied, comes home, does her homework then sits up awake all night. So, she just decides never sleep again. Although, on certain occasions she does fall asleep but it's only for a couple of hours, certainly not enough sleep for a 15-year old high school student who pushes herself to get straight A's.
The nightmares she's been having are terrifying: the nightmare of the rape, the pain of deciding whether or not to keep it, giving birth and seeing her child carried out of the room without seeing or even touching the baby. But that's the way she wanted it; she figured if she did it that way the grieving of the loss wouldn't be so bad. But it was, and it never went away.
Eight years later, in 1983 while Cuddy is in Southeast Michigan Medical College, she gets a phone call from a woman in Boston who says her son wants to meet his biological mother, and would it be okay if they met up. Of course, Cuddy can't give her an answer right away.
To hold her baby boy just one more time, even though he was conceived at the time she was raped, was something she'd never let herself live down if she didn't. After a few weeks of deep thought and debates with herself she agrees to the meeting.
The afternoon she comes home from seeing them was just as if the clouds have parted to let a ray of sunshine beam onto her face and her soul. He was everything she'd hoped he'd be, and knew he was in a loving home with his adoptive parents.
YEARS LATER…God must have blessed her, for one day she got a call from a woman who wanted her to hire her son as an intern at PPTH, and she happily accepted. Of course she went through the normal procedures, but to have her son work with her was too much of an opportunity to pass up.
Although, the only speculation was that she and the boy's adoptive mother not tell him Cuddy, his boss, was his biological mother, just as they did on the day the met in Boston.
Cuddy sat in her chair thinking again of when she met him and his adoptive mother in Boston. Although she was a nice enough woman, especially for giving Cuddy the opportunity to see her son, she quickly got the impression he hadn't a clue about being adopted, nor that Cuddy was his biological mother, and it was never mentioned. At first she was devastated but then was just happy she could have met him, if only for a brief moment.
She looked at the clock and saw it was only 1:15. She really wanted to go home, but was never one for ditching work. She grabbed a couple of patient folders, laid them out on the desk, pretended to be reviewing them and occasionally a fake mark here or there. And her thoughts drifted…
…to when she first met Greg. They were in chemistry together at MI Med. Coll. and they hadn't noticed one another for weeks into the class. The day they did was the day House destroyed her hair, a mere accident, or so he defends to this day.
Lisa's lab station was in front of Greg's and her partner was the geek of the class, but she knew Len knew what he was doing. It was just a shame Greg didn't know what HE was doing when he mixed ethyl alcohol with pasteurized depthalamine. When he mixed the two the end result was a fizzy, foul-smelling, growing mass of 'acid' that would have eaten through brick.
Unfortunately, Lisa was standing too close to the front of his station and when the mixture reached the edge of the table her waist-long hair brushed against the table, instantly chemically frying almost two inches off the entire width of her hair.
She immediately blasted him because he was actually laughing in between apologizes that sounded as sincere as Bill Clinton saying, 'I did not have sex with that woman…' He offered to pay for her hair repair and handed her $5. She smacked his hand, the bill went flying and she stormed out to go to the bathroom to rinse the ends of her hair.
The following day, and every day after that, Lisa wore her hair up in a ponytail. Greg said hello to her when she walked to her station but she flicked him the middle finger and kept her back to him until the end of the semester, which was Holiday break.
That Thursday before Christmas, the campus had just let classes out early when Lisa was walking to her car with four inches of snow on the ground and more coming down. She was carrying a few heavy books and when she reached her car she slipped onto her right knee sending the books flying. Greg had been following her and came to her 'rescue.'
"I do NOT need your help." She protested when he bent over and picked up one of the books and handed it to her.
"Oh, I think you do. You needed a haircut anyway but I just didn't know how to tell ya." Greg said with a half-grin, trying to be cute and sexy but actually made him look just like Mr. Hyde to his Dr. Jekyll impression months ago. She stood up, nastily grabbed the book from him and went to unlock her car door.
"So, you wanna go out with me?" Greg asked.
She stopped in mid-step, got an exasperated expression on her face and said, "Think of a number between one and 1000. You get it right and we'll go out, during the day for coffee." She challenged.
He bit his lower lip, narrowed his eyes and looked deeply into hers as if he were trying to pull the number from brain cell number 4,239 in the right, back quadrant. The right corner of his mouth rose as he smiled defiantly and said, "256."
She giggled, gave him a snotty smile, said "wrong," then got into the driver side of the car and closed the door.
He pounded at the window with his right fist and hollered at her, "I was right, wasn't I?"
She simply started the engine, put it into reverse but kept her foot on the brake, lowered the window and said "yes" then drove off. When she turned the corner she grinned to herself because he was right, 'damnit.' She'd never noticed his incredibly tantalizing blue eyes until he looked at her and all her defenses came tumbling down.
He stood in the parking lot with his hands on his hips staring at her, snow cascading down his wavy, light brown, thick hair with a huge smile on his face
It was a month before Greg and Lisa actually went out for coffee, and she found him to be the funniest, smartest, interestingly annoying, most ambitious, sexiest man she'd ever met. But there was just a little 'warning signal' that he gave off but she never could put her finger on it…
Now, years later, as Cuddy sat in her office, she finally, whether or not it was correct, had her finger on where Dr. Greg House was coming from.
Just then, House stormed into her office and yelled at her, "I do NOT have time to deal with Micky Stefon when any other doctor in this hospital can take the case."
"House, how did you know the number was 256?" Cuddy asked him, more just to get him to calm down than really wanting to know how he knew.
"What are you talking about, Cuddy?"
"College…our first date. You know, the number you guessed."
"Girl, have you completely lost your mind? I don't remember last week much less…oh, wait! Yeah, that was your dorm room number." He simply said with a half grin. "Why in the hell are you asking me that now?"
"You knew my dorm number? What, were you stalking me?"
"Uh, huh. I got an A in "How to Stalk a Hot Chick in College Advanced" and that was my final exam! Now, who do you want to give Minnie Stephonopolous to?" He asked, no longer playfully.
She glared at him, couldn't help but smile then she immediately lost it and said seriously, "You, Dr. House, or you may as well pack up your things, or should I say toys, and leave this hospital."
"Wha…you can't be serious." He protested.
She opened her top drawer, pulled out an envelope with his name handwritten on it and waved it in his face. "This envelope entitles me to give orders. So, find out what's wrong with Michala Stevenson."
"That's my paycheck…you…I…wha…this isn't fai…DAMNIT" He said as he stormed out of her office, leaving her with a satisfying smile on her face.
House walked into his office, sat down heavily in his chair and made a quick phone call then walked to the conference room in a grumpy mood, which was normal for House.
"Okay, chitlins, what's wrong with Michael Stephens?" House said as he pulled out a chair and sat down.
Cameron, Chase, Rog and Foreman all looked at each other. "Her name is Michala Stevenson, Dr. House." Rog corrected.
House shot him an "Elvis" left upper lip lift as if he were a cat that just had its whiskers pulled. "Whatever. Robert, you have the privilege of writing the symptoms on the board." House said as he looked at Rog. Chase stood up and started to walk to the board.
"No, I meant the other Robert." He corrected himself still looking at Rog. Again, they all looked at each other as if they thought their boss had finally lost his marbles.
House threw his head back, made a 'man these people are stupid' expression and brought his head back down. "Dr. Roger Harriett Nelson Mandela, I'm talking to you."
Rog looked at House with his eyebrows raised, excitedly stood up and took center stage in front of the board then grabbed the black marker. On the top of the board he wrote 'Michala S., 16, acute bloody nose, facial inj-Sept...nonasal polyps, broken bone, can"...just then the back leg of the board collapsed, sending the board crashing to the floor.
"Nice move, ex-lax. You klutz." House said as Rog picked up then replaced the board on the stand.
"I know you are but what am I?" Rog shot back then laughed.
"Dr. Foreman, what did the test results show?" House asked, giving Rog a dirty look.
"She's negative for cocaine, her MSA is normal and her chem stats are all within acceptable levels." Foreman replied.
House frowned at discovering he was wrong about her cocaine use. His pager went off but didn't bother to look down at it.
"Dr. House was wronggg! Dr. House was wrongg!" Wilson laughed as he walked into the room.
"Oh, and like you've never been wrong?" House snapped back.
"Nope, never. Except for when I'm right." He answered. "Cuddy wanted me to tell you Timothy Stevenson just had a bloody nose."
House rolled his eyes and said, "And I want to know that becuuuz?"
"Dr. Cuddy thinks there may be a correlation between his epistaxis and his daughter's, Michala." Rog caught on, writing 'family history?' on the board.
Wilson nodded his head as he sat down.
"What are you doing here, Wilson? Sarah tell you to keep an eye on me?" House asked him.
"No, Cuddy did."
"Well, I have to go." House said as he stood up. "Have a meeting with a patient."
"We are discussing a patient now, Dr. House." Cameron said. House didn't respond as he walked out of the conference room, with Wilson behind him.
"So, Rog, did Becka get home okay? We really haven't had a chance to talk lately." Chase asked as he reached for the folder and
read through Michala's file.
"Yes, she did." He answered.
"She seems real sweet. Did she have a good time?" Cameron asked.
"Yes, she did."
Cameron noticed his shortness with answering the barrage of questions and changed the subject. "So, do any of you have an idea about Michala's nosebleeds?" She asked.
"Dr. House prescribed her prednisone for the inflammation that he says just caused her epistaxis." Chase said from the notes in her folder.
"No, House said it was septal perforation from excessive cocaine use and he was wrong. Why don't we do a nasal delaprothy to see if there is any significant scar tissue, if at all." Chase said and hesitated a moment. "Oh, it says here she has a follow-up appointment in four days. We'll see to it when she comes back. Hopefully it'll be fine by then."
Just as the four stood up to go do other tests in the imaging center the phone rang. Cameron went to answer it, frowned, then handed the phone to Rog.
"This is Rog Nelson." silence Rog's face turned pale and his eyes teared up as he turned his back on his colleagues. "When?...oh my God..."
"What is it, Rog?" Cameron asked fretfully as he hung up the phone.
"It...it's my parents. Th...dead." He stuttered as he stepped back and collapsed in the chair. "That was Uncle Stan...carbon monoxide poi..."
A FEW MINUTES LATER...Rog walked into Dr. Cuddy's office; she was on the phone. When she saw him she pointed to the chair for him to sit down and he did so. She said 'yes' a few times then hung up.
"I am so sorry to hear about your parents." She said as she stood up and walked to the front of her desk and leaned against it as Rog looked at her confused. "Oh, that was your parents' attorney."
He looked at her more confused. "I'll be flying down to Atlanta with you for the funeral. All the expense is taken care of. That's what the attorney called about. And, I have some more rather shocking news." She said, trying to sound as diplomatic as she could under the circumstance.
"Do you remember meeting a woman when you were about 8? When you and your parents were living in Boston?" He looked at her blankly and shook his head.
"What your attorney also wanted me to tell you was...that...God, this is harder than I thought it'd be." She said as she took a deep breathe.
"Rog, your parents adopted you at birth. You were born here, in New Jersey, and your parents were living in Boston at the time, that's where you grew up. Shortly after I met you and your mother, your family moved to D.C., where I'd lost touch." She lied about that last part.
Rog still looked at her, but his expression changed from confusion to anger, then back to confusion. "Why are you telling me this, Dr. Cuddy?" He asked.
Cuddy sighed deeply. "Your parents adopted my baby when I was 15. You are my son, Roger."
"WHAT? I don't bel...what the hell are you saying?"
"I know this is hard and I'm so sorry to have to tell you like this. After you graduated from Med school your mother called me to ask if I'd hire you an..."
Rog stood up and exploded...
---Up on the third floor, House stood outside in the hall for a few minutes before she walked down the hall toward him.
"I got your page. Did Sarah have a problem watching C.T. an extra hour?" House asked Melissa as she stood on her toes and kissed him.
"No, not at all! She said they built a tent in the dining room with the chairs and having a great time."
He nodded his head and escorted her into the office. The receptionist said they could go on in, and they did so. Dr. Parker stood from her desk and waved her hand toward the chairs as the three sat down.
"So, what has been going on with you two?" She asked. They sat quietly for a moment waiting to see who would speak first.
"Well, I guess it's been a little hard on me since we've had C.T. an..." House shot Melissa a confused look when she said that.
"Oh, hun, I didn't mean it that way. You know I love C.T..." Melissa talked about her 'breakdown' the night before.
"That's to be expected. That is quite an adjustment for the both of you." Dr. Parker told them. "Have you had your meds changed, I mean your anti-depressants, Melissa?"
"Yes, from Lithium to Prozac, but I don't think they are helping." She said with a laugh then grew serious again.
"Ok, make an appointment with Dr. Jensen to get that changed. Greg, how are you doing with the pain?"
"Okay, I guess."
"I think I should have clarified that question. Are you still taking the Thorazine?"
"No." He answered, and Melissa shot him a quick glance because she knew he was still self-medicating with the placebo.
"Is Dr. Cuddy still giving you the Vicodin?"
"Yes."
"And how has that been working for the pain?"
"Not enough."
"Ok, we'll discuss that in our private session. For now, let's work on you two." Dr. Parker said.
Back in Cuddy's office...
"Why are you doing this, Dr. Cuddy?" Rog screamed at her. "You've known all this ti...my parents knew all this time and neither told me. This is crap. I don't need to hear this right now. I'm leaving for Atlanta alone. You are not coming with me! I'll decide if I want to continue working here while I'm away." He said then left her office.
Cuddy was speechless as she watched him walk out. She felt tears come to her eyes, walked to the couch, sat down then put her face in her hands.
'It wasn't supposed to happen like this.' She told herself. But then again, she hadn't thought about how she was ever going to tell him in the first place. She'd always hoped, deep down, that his parents would. But, now, that didn't happen. But he was right: she shouldn't go to the funeral. The death of his parents were going to be hard enough on him as it were, he certainly didn't need any more complications.
---A few days had passed since House and Melissa had counseling together; since Cuddy told Rog she was his biological mother; since Rog left for his parents' funeral and since the gang had reviewed Michala Stevenson's medical file.
That morning, Cameron, Chase and House sat around the conference room doing what they did best: Cameron checked over House's mail, Chase tried to beat Rog's high score in Soduko and House was trying to distract Chase by throwing wads of paper, or paper clips, binder clips, pens...anything he could get his hands on so he wouldn't get the high score.
"Dr. House, will you PLEA...shit...I almost had it!" Chase fussed as he pressed 'start new game.'
House smiled triumphantly as Foreman stuck his head in the room and said, "Michala is back."
Chase and Cameron stood up as House said sarcastically, "Guess she found more cocaine."
Foreman shook his head as the three went to the clinic to follow-up with Michala.
"Hi, Michala. I'm Dr. Cameron and this is Dr. Chase." She said as they walked into the room and saw Michala lying back on the table with cotton gauges up both nostrils.
"eye." She said, which was meant to be a hello.
Chase walked to her side and asked her to stick out her tongue and immediately noticed a lesion in the corner of her mouth. "Michala, how long have you had this?" He asked.
"Combs ant ghos." She replied then opened her mouth.
"When did the bleeding start again?" Dr. Foreman asked.
"Do days ago."
"Okay, we want to do a nasal delaprothy to look for scar tissue from previous nose bleeds and any lesions, like the one on your lip." Foreman told her.
As the three walked out of Michala's room they discussed her case.
"I definately saw lesions in her left nasal cavity, but there were more in her right." Foreman said.
"Didn't Wilson say her father also had a bloody nose?" Cameron inquired.
"Yes, he did. That must mean it's hereditary." Chase said as they walked to the elevator to get to the lab.
The elevator doors opened and they found Melissa standing in the back with swollen and red eyes and splotchy nose, as if she'd been crying. She tried to avoid their eyes as she started to walk out.
Cameron asked, "Hey, Missy! Want to go out for drinks tonight?"
"I'll let you know." She answered distantly as she continued down the hall.
"What's wrong with her? House must have pissed her off again." Chase said as they got on the elevator.
Cameron elbowed him in his arm. "Knock it off, Robert. She's been avoiding me lately. I don't know what's wrong."
Melissa opened the door to Cuddy's office and sat down in the chair across from her desk.
"We have to get that Stellar report out bef...Melissa, what's wrong?" Cuddy asked after she looked up at her.
"I had Dr. Parker this morning, remember?" She said coldly.
"Oh, that's right." She said, not wanting to press the issue.
"Lisa, can I ask you something?" Melissa asked as she grabbed a Kleenex and blew her nose.
"Of course you can." She said as she came out from behind her desk and sat next to her.
"How did you handle Greg?"
Cuddy looked at her funny then asked, "What do you mean?"
"When you two were together? And please don't tell him we've talked!"
"Okay, okay. Never, Melissa. Sometimes it was hard. It took months before I warmed to him, but that was because there was so much he was hiding from me...I mean like not really letting me in." Cuddy told her. "Missy, has something happened?"
"No, it's jus...I think I know now why he hides his true feelings." She answered. Cuddy frowned and was waiting for more when House walked in.
"I thought I'd find you in here, Mel!" House said as he walked closer to them.
"Of course, House, she works here." Cuddy snapped as she stood up and walked behind her desk again.
"I was wondering if you wan...babe, what's wrong?" He asked then saw the expression on her face.
"Well, I've got a few patients to see, considering they've been waiting for you for 45 minutes." Cuddy said as she walked out of the room, but she didn't have any patients. She knew the two needed to talk.
As Dr. Cuddy walked toward the reception desk in the clinic the nurse handed her an envelope from the mail that day. She looked at the writing and the return address on it, 'Roger Nelson.' She sighed and put it in her lab coat pocket before she headed off to the conference room to find out about Michala Stevenson's condition.
"Hey, guys." Cuddy said as she walked in. "What's the diagnosis on Michala?"
"No polyps but I did notice lesions in her nasal cavity. I think it's just scar tissue from her previous nosebleeds." Chase said nonchalantly.
"But what about her dad? He has a history of them as well. Do you think it could be telangiectasia?" Foreman asked after he reviewed the board again for all the symptoms.
"Osler-Weber-Rendu disease? It's very possible. Let's get a blood test to confirm." Cameron said as she stood up.
"Dr. Cameron, let Dr. House get the blood." Cuddy suggested as she headed for the door.
"But he's not here, Dr. Cuddy." Cameron said.
"Just because you don't see all the stars in the sky doesn't mean they're not there." Cuddy said cryptically as she walked out.
Chase looked at Cameron and said, "What the hell did that mean?" Cameron just shrugged her shoulders.
Cuddy went back to her office and thankfully Melissa and House were gone. She sat down and pulled the envelope out of her pocket. She slowly ripped at the edge with the letter opener and pulled out the three-fold, letterhead stationery. She sat back in her chair and slowly read. After she was done she folded the paper and threw it on her desk.
"Damnit!" She screamed, louder than she thought it'd come out. Melissa flew her head up and looked at her, but decided to let her be. For some reason, they have been rather distant with each other the past week or so. She didn't stop caring for Cuddy, but just didn't really need any more stress from someone else's misery.
Cuddy picked up the phone, dialed House's pager then grabbed some papers and started to work on them. A few minutes later House walked into her office.
"Cuddy, I told you once there is nothing wrong with Michelle Stefani!"
"I'm having a major de ja vu, House. Haven't we already had this conversation and I won?"
"Why do we pay the three muskateers if they don't draw blood from people? I get paid more than they do, why can't they do it?"
"Stop whining and get blood from Michala, House!" Cuddy yelled back.
He made a face at her, stormed out and headed to exam room 3. He opened the door, grabbed a syringe out of the drawer and walked to the table without saying a word.
"Who are you?" She asked.
"Dracula. I need some blood."
"You're weird." She said.
"I know. I get more weirder after dark." He said. "Now give me your arm."
She did so and he drew the blood. He walked out without saying a word then walked to the conference room. He walked in and threw the vial at Foreman, who almost dropped it. House proceeded to his office without saying a word.
"What in the hell is his problem?" Foreman asked.
"I don't know. I think it's a full moon tonight. Everyone is acting strange lately." Chase said then they all laughed.
---Later that night, Cuddy sat on her couch in her living room drinking her third glass of wine and looking over the letter from Rog. She couldn't believe he actually resigned. He didn't say why he did but she knew why. She had betrayed him, lied to him, messed up his life. But she didn't want it to be this way. She never dreamed it would be this way. She only hoped he'd eventually come around and understand why she and her adoptive parents did what they did. It's what was for the best. She closed her eyes and cried, for the son she lost, not just once, but now for the second time.
---House walked into his apartment still in a grumpy mood. He had planned on talking more with Melissa after they put C.T. down. It was quiet, which was unusual. Melissa and the baby were normally in the tub by now, which he never understood because she always got messy after she ate dinner. He walked to the dining room table where he saw a piece of paper under a single rose.
He unfolded the paper and read the first line: 'I'm so sorry, baby. I can't do this to you and C.T...sweet Charnie...she's still at Sarah's. Please get her. I have to do this...I'm so sorry. I love you.'
He frowned, got a little sick to his stomach and sat down to finish the rest of the letter.
'Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
Cause I saw the end before we'd begun. Yes, I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right, took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there. I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart, you touched my soul; you changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when my heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head, shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you will, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye, my lover. Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one. You have been the one for me…'
House felt the tears come to his eyes but didn't bother to wipe them from his cheeks as they fell onto the paper he held. He knew the song, Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt, from the Back to Bedlam CD.
"No...no...she can't...not to C.T..." And cried, then picked up the rose and brought it to his nose. But when he smelled it, it smelled of Melissa. The woman he'd given so much up for. He had been betrayed; not by Melissa, but by love. Again. But, he swore to himself as he grabbed his coat and headed out the door, that he would never love again. He had little Charnie, and that was enough love he could handle.
Over at Cameron's apartment, she and Chase had just sat down for dinner.
"Allison, what did Melissa say when she called you this afternoon?" He asked as he put dressing on the salad.
"She called to say goodbye."
"I figured that much. Did she say why she had to leave? House finally got to her, didn't he?" He said impatiently.
"NO, Chase! The man may be impossible to work with sometimes but he does have a heart."
"Oh, man, don't tell me we're going through this crap again now that he's available." He said putting his fork down on his plate so hard a few peas ended up on the table.
"Robert, come on! Just because I defend him doesn't mean I want the man. We've been through this before!" She yelled as she stood up and walked into the kitchen to get the bottle of wine.
Chase sighed and followed her into the kitchen. "Hun, ok, that was uncalled for. I'm sorry." He said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Why are you so insecure? I love you, Robert. My parents love you. I'm happy, baby, really. It doesn't mean anything if I go through his mail or get him coffee." She said as she turned around and embraced him.
"Are we gonna have to have a secret signal between us when I get the feeling I've pissed you off?" She asked him as she pushed him away and walked back to the dining room table with the bottle of wine.
"No, dear…well, you could rub your nose or tug your ear or pick your nose or…" He said seriously.
"Eeew! I don't think so!" She said and they both laughed.
"Look, what Melissa told me was she just got scared because of her AIDS and she couldn't bare the thought of dying and leaving House and C.T. alone. So she left now while the baby was young, and House could get on with his life and not have to worry about her if she got real sick. She knows he can handle the baby, she's seen him when it's just those two. She's his daughter. It's about time he had someone other than himself to love."
"Allison, doesn't she know there are people with AIDS that live ten years or more?"
"Yes, that's what I told her. But she didn't tell me where she was going. I wish she had, though. But I pleaded with her to stay. She has done so much for him and for the baby. But she's a stubborn woman, you know that."
"Yes, I do. All you women are stubborn." He said with a laugh.
"We have to be! Over the eons we've learned we have to be so you men don't walk all over us." She said seriously.
"Now you're getting into some dangerous territory, Ms. Cameron." He said as he finished his wine and sat back in the chair.
"Oh, are you threatening me, Robbie?"
"Robbie? Since when did I say you could call me that?" He said, standing up as if challenging her.
"I didn't know I needed your permission." She said as she mimicked him but tried to sneak away out of the room. "Shouldn't you need MY permission, Slobby Robbie?" She said as she suddenly ran into the living room toward the bedroom.
"OK! That was uncalled for! Get back here, woman!" He screamed as he ran after her.
He caught up with her at the foot of the bed but he ran into her before she was able to brace herself and they both tumbled onto the bed laughing.
"You think you are SO funny, don't you?" He teased as he grabbed her wrists and put them over her head.
"Yes, I work part-time at the Improv, didn't you know that?" She squealed.
"I'd stick with your day job…" He said as he leaned in a kissed her neck. "…well, I'd give up your day job and just stay home with me."
She turned her head to the side as he continued to kiss her neck, her ear lobe, just in the right places she liked.
"Robbie Dobbie, you know I love you, right?" She asked as she tilted her head forward and kissed him. They kissed for what seemed like forever and they looked at each other when he broke away from the kiss.
"No, why don't you show me you love me?" He teased back.
They made love with passion, commitment and love for one another. And for Chase and Cameron, love was great.
---House knocked on Wilson's door about 6:30 that same night after he'd been to the bar on the corner for a few drinks before he picked up his daughter.
He never felt as alone and as needy as he did at that moment. He never understood why he bothered falling in love. Why he gave his heart and soul to anyone. He had Charnie, but he'd already told himself that was enough. But was it really? The self-doubt he'd always had made life miserable for him. He just wanted to get on his bike and ride off forever, never looking back, just taking in the changing scenery around him.
Wilson opened the door and looked at House for a brief moment while he went over everything in his mind. Wilson didn't say a word until House focused on Wilson's face and took a few steps toward him. They heard Charlie in the back laughing and clapping his hands.
"House, let's go upstairs and talk." Wilson suggested as he hoped to determine what kind of shape he was in before House took the baby home. That was a tough decision he and Sarah made: C.T. was his daughter, yes, but was House in the right frame of mind to take care of her?
Melissa Fitzhugh sat anxiously in the abandoned house on 12th Street watching Tony as he prepared the cocaine for the injection he would give her. She didn't know what she was doing here, but she DID know what she was doing here. She wanted to forget, forget the love and pain she felt for House, forget the love she felt for C.T. and forget the friends she left behind at PPTH.
After Tony removed the needle from her vein she sat back against the wall and waited for peace to come to her, if only for a couple of hours. She was going to die anyway, right? She just didn't want, or couldn't live with, the pain she felt in her heart, her bones, her being.
But she couldn't help think of the love she had with him, and it was his face she last remembered as the drug kicked into her system. And the pain slowly ebbed away…
---Wilson closed the door behind him as House sat on the chair in the sitting room upstairs. But House didn't look at his friend, his only friend, a caring friend who got straight to the point.
"House, have you been drinking?" Wilson asked.
House shot a death glare at him. "Yeah, what's it to you?"
"Oh, I could care less if you kill yourself, but I will not let you kill that innocent child." He answered back firmly.
"She is my responsibility, not yours."
"How…Greg. I know it's tou…" Wilson started to say.
"Oh, you do? You don't know squat!" House said as he stood up but swayed a little. Wilson stayed where he was, prepared for the next shot of reality House needed.
"Her Godmother, Sheila, has filed for custody of Charnie, House! Do you really want to do that to your little girl? And she's got plenty of ammo to shoot against you: you're addicted to drugs, you're irresponsible, you drink…should I continue?
"How in the hell do you know that lady has filed for custody?" House stammered as he continued to stand.
"Because Melissa called her last week, and a week is long enough to file papers."
"You bastard! You have NO right to do this!" House screamed, taking a step closer to Wilson, who stood his ground.
"I am getting my daughter and leaving with her, Wilson." House said as he walked beside Wilson, who stuck his arm and to stop him.
"I'm afraid not. Sarah and I are keeping C.T. until the hearing in three wee…" Wilson started to say but House pushed him against the wall with his elbow under his throat.
Wilson's eyes grew wide but knew House wouldn't hurt him. But then again, he'd never seen House this despondent, and on top of that he'd been drinking.
"You're going to have to fight for your life to get her. You're going to have to prove you can raise that child to be someone other than yourself." Wilson croaked.
House's eyes seared into Wilson, but he eventually let go of the choke hold.
"Go home, House, sober up and decide what you want. And might I suggest a good lawyer?" Wilson said as he opened the door and stood aside for House to leave.
House continued to stare at Wilson, not believing what just happened between them.
"You will not get my little girl, and neither will that wicked godmother." He said as he walked through the door, stomped downstairs and slammed the front door behind him.
Wilson ran his hand through his hair and sighed, then went downstairs to the back room to Sarah and the kids. When she saw him she immediately frowned and was about to say something when Charlie said, "Awnt Mewissa's gone, isn't she?" Wilson looked at Charlie then looked back at Sarah.
"Yes, buddy, Aunt Melissa's gone away." Sarah said as she patted the top of his head.
"Is Awnt Chawnie gonna stay wiff us? Hope she does." Charlie asked as he handed the baby a graham cracker.
"We don't know, son, we don't know." Wilson said as he walked out to the living room, to the bar, to the bottle of whiskey, poured a few shots and downed the whole glass, making a face like he'd suddenly had an attack of major heartburn.
'I'm doing this for Charnie and Stacy, not House.' He kept telling himself over and over as he poured another shot.
Sarah walked into the room and put her hand on his shoulder. "Honey, you're doing the right thing…We're doing the right thing."
"Sarah," Wilson said as he turned to look at her. "Are you sure of that? Absolutely sure we're doing the right thing?"
House left the home of his friend, or ex-friend, and had no idea where he was going but he just kept driving. The thought came to him to find the nearest tallest bridge to bungee jump without a rope, or thickest tree he could find to wrap the car around…then he asked himself if his 'end it all' thoughts were coming from the liquor or had he just had enough? But his daughter's face kept flashing before his eyes, and she was alone, with no mother and no father.
Wasn't it almost a year ago that he swore to himself that he would make a great father? And that didn't include Melissa as a
mother figure. He wasn't going to let it happen. He couldn't do it, just couldn't, not to C.T., or Stacy, for that matter.
He happened to glance at the clock and it read 10:50 pm and found himself miles from home. It dawned on him how tired he was, not so much physical but emotionally tired. He glanced in the rear view mirror and saw his eyes were dark, sullen and very empty. He passed a green sign for Winchester, MD and decided to find a place to sleep for the night.
Not that he would sleep, but to think. About what he wanted. About what he needed. About what he loved…Charnie.
The next morning at PPTH, Dr. Cuddy sat at her desk and kept staring at the clock. Melissa was an hour late, and she was never late for work. House limped into the office looking more gruffly than he ever had with his wrinkled pants and jacket and he hadn't even combed his hair.
"House, where's Meli…what happened to you?" She asked alarmed.
"I don't know, and I need something from you." He said as he went to her coffee machine and poured a cup then sat down in one of her chairs.
She looked at him bemused, both by his tone of voice and his appearance. "Greg, what is it? Is something wrong with Melissa?"
He shook his head then said, "She's gone. You'll need to find a replacement."
"What do you mean, gone?" She asked but he didn't answer her question.
"Cuddy, I need a lawyer." He said solemnly.
She was stunned by his statement. She stood up and sat in the chair next to his. "What's going on, Greg?"
He told her what happened at Wilson's, but not about the note Melissa left him.
"I'll see who I can find. I have someone in mind but will have to check if he will be available."
He half-nodded his head as he stood up. "Wait, I need my fix, Dr. Cuddy."
She went to her desk, pulled open a drawer and handed him a bottle. "Thanks." He told her. "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell anyone."
"No, they don't need to know about the Vicodin."
"I'm talking about the baby." He said as he walked to the door.
"Ok, is there anything el…" She started to say but he interrupted her.
"Yes, fire Wilson." He said as he walked out the door and headed to the conference room.
As he walked in Chase, Cameron and Foreman immediately quit talking to one another and it was very obvious to House they were talking about him. He ignored the sudden silence and walked to his office and closed the glass door separating the two rooms. He sat at his desk, put on the headphones of his MP3 player and turned it on, with the volume set at 'high.' He popped a few pills in his mouth then leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.
He wanted, or needed, to block everything out. After a few minutes he felt a tap on his right shoulder but he didn't open his eyes. A few seconds later another tap. He sighed and finally opened his eyes to see Cameron staring down at him.
"What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" He snipped.
"Dr. House, I know Cuddy needs an assistant and I know Melissa isn't coming back and I was just won…"
"Oh, God, Cameron to the rescue? You must have passed your Martyrdom 101 with flying colors." He said bitterly before closing his eyes again.
Suddenly the song volume went off and Mariah Carey stopped singing, 'All By Myself.' His eyes flew open and he screamed, "Go away! Go heal a patient or do an MRI or something."
"No, Dr. House. I want to know if you need me here because if Dr. Cuddy needs help I will be glad to do what I can. It's not like we're busy around here." She said firmly as she headed to the door.
"Oh, and you'll be glad to know Michala Stevenson indeed does not do drugs but does have Osler-Weber-Rendu syndrome. We referred her to Dr. Bassinger." And the door closed behind her.
House stared at the glass door a moment before he looked into the conference room and saw Chase and Foreman looking back at him. He simply put the headphones back on, cranked the volume up as loud as it would go and sat back to drown everything around him out.
---Back in House's apt., Steve was having a good ole' time as he ran in his wheel and thought to himself...
'Yay! My girl-freeend is on her way up for a while, and I have to work out these darn biceps. I've been eating way too much, lately. Missy, who's now gone, damnit, would give me the best treats. That stupid House doesn't know she comes to visit me. Hehehehehee...' which came out as a little squeekity-squeek-squeek
'And I guess now that Missy is gone House ain't gettin' none no mo! The loser! He can't keep women worth shyte! I'm a better man...I mean mouse...than he is! I'm a stud! A mousey stud! The Mouse of Stud-itity!'
"GO STEVE! GO STEVE!..." He said out loud as he pants.
'Ok, I've have enough. I need to get some rat-mix out for her.' Steve thought as he walked to the bowl of food and sniffed to make sure it was still fresh.
'Gotta feed her the right morsels or she gets cranky. Damn women! I mean female miceees!' Just then Steve heard claw marks come up the coffee table leg.
"Kelleeeeeeeeeeeee! Oh, Kelleeeee...come up, my love! Minnie may make it tonight! Hot diggity!" Steve hollered as Kellee stuck her head in between the bars and squeezed through.
"Ah, my love! I have fresh food to stuff you before I stuff you." He said as he rubbed her whiskers with his nose. She replied with a 'squeeekk...squeeeeeekkk.'
"It's okay that you can't talk. I like a female that doesn't talk. Come here, moi cherie!" smootches….. smootches...mice kisses...mice kisses...
"OW! I told you to gnaw that front tooth down! You bit my lip. Wait, didn't Cameron do that to Chase! Isn't that what I heard House say on the phone when he told Wilson? Well, doesn't matter, my sweet...Come to my lair of luuuvvv!"
Steve and Kellee scurried off to the empty toilet paper roll….
---Back in House's office he continued to listen to the current song on his MP3 player, 'Unanswered Prayers' by Garth Brooks. He didn't really like the song overall, but just one part of the lyrics, "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers…" Those words always affected him, though he never knew why. Well, he had a clue, but he was never really honest with himself.
If he really did want to think about it he'd remember the time when Wilson told him he needed people to like him, and he replied he didn't care. But anyone who ever says that is a liar, including House. In House's sick, twisted mind he wouldn't be doing what he was doing if he didn't want people to like him. Although he'd never accept any accolades he'd been given about saving so many lives, deep down that was enough for him to know people liked him. But not for who he was, or what his hobbies were, or who he could be. But was that really enough for him?
The thought had just crossed his mind to go home when he felt something hard and solid pound into his chest the something roll down his leg. His eyes flew open and was about to curse the person out when he saw his red ball bounce to the floor and Cuddy standing at his desk. She handed him a piece of paper with a name and phone number and walked out the door without saying a word. House noticed her eyes were red and swollen but didn't have a chance to ask what was wrong. That had always been her way with him, even when they dated in college: she'd avoid him until she was ready to talk about whatever was bothering her.
He looked at the paper at the name, 'Harold Pittman' with a phone number. He assumed it was the lawyer she'd found for him but he was so emotionally drained and exhausted he told himself he'd just call tomorrow. That would leave him the weekend to think about everything else that was so screwed up in his life.
Later that afternoon House walked into his apartment and headed straight for the living room, threw the cane on the floor and collapsed on the sofa. He heard squeaks coming from Steve McQueen's cage but he didn't even care what that stupid rat was up to. He had just closed his eyes when he heard yelps, whines and scratches coming from the hall bathroom.
"Shyte…I forgot about Wayni." He said out loud as he sat up and headed for the bathroom door, dreading opening the door to see what kind of mess the puppy had left for him to clean up.
What stared back at him was little Wayni's sad puppy-dog 'I need to go outside NOW' eyes. House couldn't help but grin as she scurried out and jumped up on his leg wagging her tail with glee. He grabbed her leash, hooked it to her collar and headed out the door. For a mid January day it was fairly warm, lower 50's. Wayni excitedly sniffed the grass and found a spot to tinkle as House looked up the street and something caught his eye.
There was a figure behind a tree down at the intersection but he couldn't tell if they were just standing there or had just turned the corner. After a few moments of debating whether he really cared enough to go check it out Wayni had other plans. She playfully pulled at his sneaker laces and pulled as hard as she could in the other direction.
He decided to play along with her and let her lead her Daddy down the street to venture into the unknown: a four-legged creature and a three-legged creature who both just wanted love, affection, attention and some direction in their lives. One was content with what they had, the other wasn't so lucky. That creature was preparing for a battle he never imagined: the fight for his daughter.
---Over at Cameron's, she and Chase were going over possible plans for her family reunion over the summer, and had been going back and forth for a while about Chase refusing to attend.
"Allison, I am not going if your brother is there. You have to tolerate him because he's your brother but he isn't mine."
"Come off it, Robert! It's not that big a'deal. You'll learn to ignore him after a while. I would really love it if you would come. You know my parents like you and I'd love you to meet my cousins."
"I don't have a problem with your parents - but your brother? I mean, there's no telling what would come out of my mouth after he'd make any stupid-assed remarks."
"Hun, you seemed to handle him well enough at dinner. What's wrong now?"
"I don't know, Allie, I don't know."
---House walked back into his apartment after he and Wayni went on their late afternoon walk. He knew there would be one more before bedtime but for now he could sit back, relax, and think. He sat on the sofa and removed Wayni's collar then she ran off into the kitchen for water from her bowl. House was lying down when she came back and after a few attempts managed to jump up on the sofa next to his leg.
She proceeded to slowly, cautiously and daringly inch closer and closer to his hand for him to pet her. He had his eyes closed but knew what she was doing and he couldn't help but grin. He finally reached out and scratched her behind her ears. She yelped in exhilaration and jumped up on his stomach wagging her tail and licking his face. He laughed out loud and it felt good, considering there wasn't much for him to laugh about. He fussed at her to settle down after a bit and she obliged, lying on his chest and rested her chin on the tops of her paws.
He went over and over in his mind what he had to do and how he was going to do everything that he had to do. Cuddy had always been supportive of him, and if she wasn't now, he figured she wouldn't have given him the lawyer's phone number. Then he remembered all the family legal stuff that she was involved in when her father died. Maybe she'd be able to send him in the right direction.
He sat up with Wayni growling but she jumped to the end of the couch where her blanket was and settled in. He picked up the phone and dialed her number but got the voice mail. At first he wasn't going leave a message but did anyway. He didn't think she'd call back but he hoped she would.
He walked to the bar and poured a Scotch then walked back to the couch. Wayni looked up at him and warily approached him. He put the drink down to her level, she smelled it then sneezed. He laughed a little but was shocked when she went back to the glass and licked…once. Her nose wrinkled, she sneezed again then walked back to her cushion and lay back down.
"You have no taste." He scolded her just as door bell chime went off. Wayni picked up her head and growled as she anxiously awaited what stranger was behind that tall, flat board looking thingie.
House looked through the peep hole and as he opened the door he said, "I just called you."
Cuddy walked in without saying and word and Wayni jumped off the sofa running to her, smelled her shoe and wagged her tail enthusiastically.
"Ah, this is the infamous Wayni! What a cutie you are." Cuddy said as she bent over and ran her hand over her back. Wayni barked acceptance and ran around the couch looking for her chew toy, which she brought back to Cuddy as she handed House her coat. Cuddy wasn't in the mood to play right then so she walked to the couch and sat down forcefully. House asked if she wanted a drink and she nodded her head because she needed a drink, badly.
"What did you call me for, Greg?" She asked as he handed her a glass.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Why did you come over here?"
"You know! I am not in the mood to play that game again." She said angrily and sighed heavily.
"What is it, Lisa?" He asked worriedly; it wasn't often she was this abrupt with him. He had to fuss at Wayni to lie back down because she was jumping all over Cuddy.
Then she let it all out: losing Melissa as her assistant, explaining how much she resented it because she was good at her job, the death of Rog's parents and telling Rog she was his mother but not that he resigned. His eyebrows shot up when she mentioned the last part.
House shook his head and said, "Lisa, I had no idea he was your son."
"Good. I didn't want anyone to know. I had to tell him first, or was hoping his parents would have. When I hired him I didn't want anyone to know, even if I had told him. Man, he was pissed, more like infuriated, so much so he resigned."
He thought for a moment and asked her if she'd talked to him since he'd come back from his adoptive parents' funeral.
"No, I haven't. Where's Melissa?" She asked.
House shook his head. "I have no idea where she is, or if she's ever coming back." He hesitated a moment. "You want another drink?" He asked as he stood up to pour another from himself.
She frowned as she nodded her head and he took her glass but didn't fail to notice her hand was shaking. He really hated moments like this. He wasn't very good in the 'give advice' area, but he was a bit relieved to know that she chose him to come to. It was good to know they could still rely on each other.
"What are you going to do about Rog?" He asked as he handed her a full glass and sat down next to her.
"There's nothing I can do. It was his decision to leave, and his decision to come back." She said sadly. "Greg, I'm glad you have decided to get custody of Charnie. That little girl needs her father, not a godmother."
"That's not what Wilson thinks." He said disdainfully as he gulped a shot of his liquor.
"Greg," Cuddy said tenderly as she placed her hand on his left knee, "Wilson does care about you as a friend, and Charnie, too. So does Sarah. You have to understand that, understand they did what they thought best for Charnie. Don't you?"
House just shook his head.