After it Fades
Chapter 10: He's Diggin 'Em Bread?
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters; they belong to the wonderful creators of Gilmore Girls.
Summary: My version of what happens after the screen fades to black…
A/N: Thank you guys so much for all of your amazing reviews. They really made my day, I'm so glad you liked it
"Night babe." Lorelai said after kissing the top of her daughter's head.
"Night." Rory said before going into her room.
Lorelai watched as Rory walked down the hall and into her room, closing the door behind her.
Rory was back.
She walked upstairs and into their bedroom. She watched as he put his clothes into the hamper.
Rory was back and now she could marry Luke.
"You can have the bathroom." He told her when he saw that she was watching him.
"Thanks." She said giving him a sweet smile. She walked over to the dresser and began pulling out some pajamas.
"So, tonight was fun, wasn't it?" She asked.
"Nothing says fun likea mealwith the Renaissance Circuit." He said.
"The guy with no thumbs was hilarious." Lorelai said.
"Yeah." He said.
Something about his tone was weird. He had been acting weird the entire day. She turned around to look at him. He wasn't looking at her, he was getting underneath the covers.
She walked over to him and sat beside him, on their bed. She put her hand on his thigh, as he stretched out, under the covers.
"You OK?" She asked him, giving him a worried look.
"I'm fine." He told her, a little too quickly.
She looked at him, as if she was trying to figure out if that was the truth or not.
Not.
"Is it about Chris?" She asked.
His shoulders dropped and he leaned forward a little bit. "It's not about Chris." He told her, and she was convinced. "I think it's great, really." He told her. He leaned in to give her a quick kiss and then he slid under the covers even more and rolled on his side.
She sighed. She got up slowly and headed into their bathroom.
"Have I told you how much I love this bathroom?" She asked as she washed her face.
"Yep." He told her.
"OK… cuz I do." She told him. She knew something was up. What was it?
"I'm glad." He told her.
"I mean… it has two sinks!" She told him.
"I know, you can brush in one and spit into the other." Luke said.
"And I can wash each hand in a different sink!" She informed him.
"'Cuz the other way is so last season." He said. She could tell without even looking at him, that he was rolling his eyes.
"Yes Sir." She told him as she walked back into their bedroom and got into bed. She turned off the light and pulled the covers over her. She rested her head on the pillow.
"And these pillows. They're like an orgasm for my head." She said.
"I'm glad you like them." He said.
"I do." She said.
She scooted closer to him, but he didn't move. Something was definitely up…
She started tracing circles on his chest, but he still did nothing.
"Luke?" She asked.
"Mhm?" He asked.
"You've been acting sort of weird today." She stated.
"No I haven't." He told her.
"Um… yeah, you have." She said. "What's wrong?" She asked him.
"Nothing's wrong." He said.
"Well, you've just been acting really weird… and now, you won't even touch me…" She said.
She didn't get a response, so she kept going.
"Is it because Rory's home? Cuz Rory knows we sleep in the same bed, Luke. She's been in our room, she's seen the bed and she knows we sleep in it together. She knows we touch each other sometimes… She was health class that day… she knows we have sex, Luke." Lorelai said.
"Aw jeez, Lorelai." Luke said.
"Luke… c'mon, what's wrong?" She asked.
"Jeez, Lorelai, nothing is wrong." He said a little more harsher than he had meant to.
"Oh." She said softly, before turning around and facing away from him. "Night." She said sadly.
The room was dark, but he could make her out perfectly. He could even tell she was sad. She was sad and hurt. Her body was huddled close together, and… he could just tell.
He felt bad. He didn't want it to be like this. He was supposed to forget about it. He was supposed to just forget about it. But how could he forget that he had a kid? How could he not tell her that he had a kid?
He moved closer to her and put his arm around her waist, placing many sweet, kisses up and down her the back of her neck.
She tensed up when he first touched her, probably because he surprised her. However, she quickly relaxed after a second.
"I'm sorry." He told her.
She rolled over to face him again. Even in the dark room, her eyes were still so bright.
"What's wrong?" She asked him again. He let out a heavy sigh. He didn't want to tell her- not like this… not when things were going so good.
"What are you thinking?" She asked him.
"When Rory was little, were you ever afraid to tell people you dated that you had a daughter?" He asked her.
The question took her by surprise. Where was this coming from?
"Uh… Well, I didn't really date much, then. I mean- When I had her, I thought that I'd never have another date, again. Most guys don't want women with kids." She said.
"But what about when she was older? Like… 12?" He asked. Why was he asking her this? He didn't want to tell her. He didn't want to tell her now.
"Well… It was the same thing. Most guys don't want women with that kind of baggage. Most guys don't want to get themselves into stuff like that… you know, the responsibility… the baggage." Lorelai said having a hard time finding a different word. She was still so completely confused about these questions.
"Did that ever bother you?" He asked.
"Sometimes. But, I love Rory and I wouldn't trade her for any of those guys… If they really loved me… If they were really 'the one' than they would love me with or without my kid." She told him.
Good. That's what he wanted to hear.
"I love you." He told her.
She smiled at him, adoringly. He had tightened his grip, now and was extremely close to her- not like she minded.
"I love you, too." She told him, smiling.
He leaned down and kissed her, never wanting the kiss to stop. He knew if they stopped kissing, he might just tell her- and he didn't want to ruin this. That was the last thing he ever wanted.
She pulled away after a little while. "So what's with all those questions, Mister?" She asked him.
He bit his lip. He didn't want to say it.
She felt him hug her even closer to him and it scared her a little bit.
"Luke?" She asked him.
"I love you, Lorelai." He told her again.
"I know…" She told him, afraid of his tone.
"That's why I don't want to tell you. I love you- so, so much. I don't want to ruin this- I like this." He told her.
"I like this, too." She told him.
He was biting his lip, again. This time he did it much harder, trying to keep the words from escaping his mouth.
He didn't want to ruin what they had. He didn't want to make her angry. He didn't want her to realize how much better she could do and leave him.
"Luke…" She said again.
"I like where we are… where we're going… We are getting married. I want to marry you." He told her firmly.
"I want to marry you, too." She told him. She was scared now. He was holding on as if he would never let go, and normally she loved that… but it was scaring her tonight. He had something to say, something that made him think she would leave after hearing it. It was bad, she knew that much.
"I just don't want you to change your mind." He told her sadly. The tone he used made her want to cry. This was bad…
"Luke… please, just tell me." She begged him. She wanted to know, but at the same time, she really didn't.
She could hear him breathing. She heard him trying to talk to her. She could hear him start saying something, but then changing his mind.
She took his hand, intertwined their fingers, and squeezed it tightly.
"C'mon Luke, I'm ready." She told him, even though she was far from ready.
He squeezed her hand and took a deep breath. He had to tell her sometime. He was kidding himself when he said he would just forget about all of it. He had to tell her and he knew the longer he waited, the harder it would be.
One last deep breathe. One last kiss- just incase she changes her mind.
He kissed her, trying to show her just how much he loved her, trying to convince her not to change her mind.
He finally pulled away and took that one last deep breath before squeezing her hand again.
"I- I have a kid." He told her.
Her grip on his hand didn't loosen like he had expected it to. She was still holding it just like before.
"I didn't know about her… I didn't know. She's 12. She's been alive for 12 years and I just found out." Luke said.
"A daughter." Lorelai said after a minute of Luke waiting for a reaction. He never said 'daughter' he just talked about a she and a her. Luke had a daughter.
Millions of questions were running through her head. She thought about asking what her name was or what she looked like. She wondered if he looked like her. She thought about asking who the mother was. She wondered if she did any of the same things as Luke. She wondered if she liked vegetables, turkey burgers, tea, or striped flavored toothpaste. She wondered what color hair she had or if she had his eyes. She wondered what this would mean for their relationship. She wondered when she would get to meet her, if she'd like Luke's daughter, if Luke's daughter would like her.
Luke's daughter
Luke has a daughter.
Luke has a daughter with someone who wasn't her.
Luke had a daughter with somebody else.
The thought hurt her, a lot. Thoughts about the mother, raced through her head. Was she pretty? Was she nice? Was it a one-time thing or was it something more serious? Would she try to be with Luke, again? What was her name? Was it Rachel?
Oh, God… if it was Rachel…
She had so many things she wanted to know, so many questions she wanted answers to- but maybe it wasn't the time.
He was hurting. He was afraid. He needed her right now. He needed her to tell him it would be OK, that she was going to be there the next morning and every morning after that.
At the same time, she needed him to tell her those same things.
She needed to know he'd be there. She needed to know that he wouldn't leave her to be with the mother of his 12 year old daughter. She needed to know he was going to be there every single morning for the rest of their lives.
"I love you." She told him simply, hoping that he'd understand that she was going to stick around.
He sighed, a sigh of relief. He was smiling and they both knew it. Her understanding surprised him, but at the same time- it didn't.
"I love you," He told her- and for now that was all she needed.
She could ask questions tomorrow. They could talk about it more, tomorrow. Right now, they just needed each other to be there.
He kissed the top of her head, as if he was thanking her. She lifted her head and pressed her lips against his in a nice, sweet kiss.
And after a while, they fell asleep.
Her hand still in his, never loosening her grip
Hmm… Was that stupid? I don't know. I know it's very unlike them, but I don't know… I'm so curious to find out how ASP actually writes Lorelai's reaction cuz it's hard to write- I've had to do it twice.
Yes, I know that last chapter I had him telling her… but he didn't, so I gave it another go. But, I swear if he still doesn't tell her by the next episode, I'm not going to write it again.
So… um… The episode. Well, the whole Zach/Lane thing was sort of random and weird, anyone agree? I just… I don't really know, I just thought it was weird.
The beginning with Paul Anka and Rory was cute. I wish Luke would tell her. The Liz/Luke conversation was cute, even though I thought Liz's reaction to Luke having a kid was weird… I mean, dude, he has a kid! He has a kid, most people wouldn't be like 'awwww that's so great,' after hearing their engaged brother has a 12 year old daughter with somebody else…
I wish Luke would just tell Lorelai. I mean, she's being all honest about her and Chris and he's keeping this HUGE secret from her… Um, so yes… Rory and Logan- I doubt they are done. I actually know so, but whatever. We will see…
Rory talking to Paris about Yale- nice that Paris was like DUH, RORY.
Lorelai's drum roll… and the Renaissance people… Lol. Ooh and Lorelai's hat box. Kirk's new hobby. Haha.
Chris… Oh, God. Can't wait to find out what Emily and Richard say when they find out Chris is paying for Yale. I called it by the way, Lol.
I'm surprised Lorelai didn't scream at Rory being like I TOLD YOU SO when she went on and on about how bad the Gilmore's was… Jeez, Rory, she warned you.
I wished there was more Luke/Lorelai stuff, but whatever.
I just expected it to be better… you know since it's the one before the 7 week break, so I thought it'd be good so everybody would be all excited about the new episode. It was OK, I just thought it was going to be better.
Alrighty, so please, please review!