Fades to Black

Chapter 12: Just Like Gwen and Gavin

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters; they belong to the wonderful creators of Gilmore Girls.

Summary: My version of what happens after the screen fades to black…

A/N: Well, well, well… She finally knows… Thank God for Rory, that's all I gotta say. And what was in the letter? I guess we'll never know.

She walked back to the booth in a daze. Millions of thoughts running through her head. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to be thinking. They had postponed the wedding? She suggested postponing the wedding. He wanted to postpone the wedding. He wanted to.

"Mom?" Rory asked her, noticing the look on her mother's face. She instantly thought the worst. What had happened during her talk with Luke? "Mom?" She asked again.

"Oh, hi." Lorelai said, jumping out of her daze.

"You, OK?" Rory asked, pushing her away from the crowd, leaving Lane to run the booth for a few minutes.

"We um… we postponed… the wedding." Lorelai said, as if she was just beginning to comprehend it herself.

"You what?" Rory asked, definitely shocked. "Mom, what happened? What did Luke say?" She asked.

"He apologized… again, and I told him it'd be fine, and I could help… you know, since I know stuff… about kids… about daughters. I told him I could help… And then, then he started going on about how confusing everything was… and how it was too much." Lorelai began.

"What?" Rory asked.

"He said that all this… April, trying to make up for… the past 12 years… and June 3rd… it was all too much… it was too soon."

"Too soon?"

"So, I don't know… before I knew it, I suggested we postpone the wedding… and he practically jumped at the chance." Lorelai said, trying really hard to fight back the tears.

"Mom…" Rory said sympathetically.

Lorelai shrugged.

"Are you OK with this?" She asked.

"Does it even matter? I can't just say that I want to get married… I want to get married on June 3rd and I don't want to postpone the wedding… He's, he's dealing with… things. It doesn't matter what I want, or what I'm OK with." Lorelai said, a bit more anger in her voice, than she intended.

"He just… he looked so happy… that we weren't getting married… that we were putting it off… again."

"Mom… Luke wants to marry you." Rory said.

"It doesn't seem like it." She said.

"He's just, he's just confused." Rory said.

"About us?" Lorelai asked, in defense.

"Mom… He just found out he has a daughter." Rory said.

"No, he found out two months ago… God, two months… He knew all this time… Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years… he knew all this time… all this time when I was planning our wedding, that he was going to cancel anyway."

"Postpone, not cancel." Rory corrected her.

"Whatever." Lorelai shrugged.

"Mom, talk to him… tell him what your thinking… I know he wants to marry you, he just needs to figure things out."

"Figure what things out? He wanted to marry me before! What? Now that he has a daughter, everything is different? I'm still me, and Luke is still Luke… Maybe, maybe he just… doesn't want to marry me." Lorelai said, sadly.

"Mom, you know that's not true."

Lorelai shook her head, trying so hard not to cry. "I'm just going to go walk around a little, OK?"

"Do you want me to come?"

"No, I'll be fine." She said, before slowly walking out of the square and down the street. She glanced up at Luke's diner.

There he was. And there she was.

She was still there. God, didn't she have a curfew or a bedtime or something?

And is that her bike? Luke wouldn't let her bike home, would he? Her mother lets her bike home? In the dark?

And she still didn't ask Luke who the mother is. She needed to write it on her hand or something. It wasn't be Rachel, right?

No, she didn't look like Rachel.

But she had Luke's nose. She had Luke's nose. Luke has a daughter, and she has his nose.

She couldn't figure out what part of this bothered her the most.

Was it the part where he kept a secret from her for two months? Or maybe it was the fact that he didn't trust her? Or maybe that he didn't come to her when he first found out? That he didn't think she'd be able to help. That he didn't think he could talk to her about it. That he 'didn't know how to tell her'. That he was afraid to tell her. That he was confused. That she wasn't clear on what exactly he was confused about. That he had a daughter. That he had a daughter with someone else. That she still didn't know who the mother of this daughter was. That maybe the mother was really pretty. And maybe she liked tea and eating healthy. And maybe she liked sports, and she knew how to cook. That maybe Luke would go back with her, and they'd all be a happy family, and she would be left behind. That she would never be the mother of his first born child. That he had a cute daughter. That his daughter had his nose. That maybe now, that he already has a kid, he wouldn't want another one. That maybe, they will never have kids together. That maybe they won't even get married at all. That maybe he'll keep pushing the date farther and farther back, until they just forget about it. That maybe he doesn't want to marry her at all.

That maybe he changed his mind.

"Hi." She practically whispered, as she walked in the diner door. She promised him she'd meet him at his place later, so here she was. He turned around, smiled, and walked towards her.

"Hey." He said, leaning in for a kiss.

"Coffee?" He asked, already heading back towards the counter.

"Um, no thanks." She said.

"What?" He asked, giving her a questioning look.

"Uh, yeah sure." She said, trying to act natural.

He nodded, and poured her some coffee.

"So, when did she leave?" Lorelai asked, sitting at the counter.

"An hour ago." He answered.

"She didn't bike home, did she?" Lorelai asked.

"Of course not, I put her bike in the truck and drove her home."

"Oh." Lorelai said. "So… um, who's the mother?" Lorelai asked.

Luke sighed, and leaned on the counter. "Her name is Anna."

"And what is Anna like?" She asked, forcing a smile.

"Uh… she's kind of like you." He said.

Ouch. Kind of like me? Kind of like the woman he was going to marry? Kind of like the woman who was wearing an engagement ring that he bought for her? Kind of like his fiancée, only she was the mother of his child?

"Oh." She said.

"I don't know… She's not really that much like you… She just reminds me of you… only a little… maybe it's just the single mom thing, or something." He said.

That's a little better.

"Why'd you break up?" Lorelai asked.

"We… We just weren't right, you know?" He asked her.

"Yeah." She said. That was better.

"You'll meet her." He said.

"What does she look like?" Lorelai asked.

He turned around and gave her a suspicious look. "Not as pretty as you." He told her.

"Well, of course not." She said flipping her hair.

He laughed, and kissed her. He pulled away, but his face was still inches from her face. He started playing with her left hand, and started to play with her engagement ring, still staring into her eyes.

She wondered if he was going to take it off, for a second, but he didn't. He let go, and pushed some of her hair behind her ears, and she smiled and kissed him again. He closed his eyes, and she could tell he was smelling her perfume. She was wearing his favorite kind, and he knew it.

She ran her fingers through his hair, and sighed at the beautiful man in front of her. The one she wasn't marrying on June 3rd.

"You're tired." She said.

"I'm fine." He argued, opening his eyes.

"Let's sleep." She said, already standing up.

"I'm fine." He said, again.

She took his hand and led him upstairs. "Sleep." She repeated.

They went upstairs silently, and got dressed silently. They lied in bed for a few minutes, before Luke spoke up.

"I really am sorry for not telling you." He told her again.

"I know." She said.

"OK." Luke replied, playing with his hands.

"Have long have you been seeing her?" She asked.

"What?"

"How long have you been seeing her… I mean, she was doing chores at the diner today."

"Only since yesterday." He said.

"Oh."

"Yeah." He nodded.

"She has your nose." Lorelai said.

"I know." He smiled.

She smiled back, seeing how happy he was after that one little comment. "What's she like?"

"She's smart."

"I got that."

"She likes Morse code… and counting… and diners."

"Well, she is your daughter." Lorelai said. The statement hurt her more than she'd ever admit.

"Yeah." He nodded. "She likes filling salt shakers." He added.

"I saw."

"I took her to the park yesterday." He said.

"In this weather?"

"Kids like parks."

"It's not exactly peak park season, Luke."

"That's what she said."

"Smart girl." Lorelai smiled.

"She should meet Rory. She'd love Rory."

"Yeah." Lorelai agreed, even though, she couldn't stop thinking, what about her?

She lied in bed, playing with the top of the comforter. Luke's arm was resting on her stomach, as it usually did. She wasn't sure how, but his arm is always wrapped around her by morning, and she loved it.

She glanced over at him. He was dead asleep. He feel asleep the second he hit the pillow. He was really tired, but he somehow still looked perfect while he slept.

But he wasn't perfect, was he?

He has a daughter. He has a 12-year-old daughter. A 12-year-old daughter, who he lied about to his fiancée.

And somehow, she still thought he was perfect.

He was Luke. He was her Luke. He was still her Luke, wasn't he? He would always be, right?

She looked around his apartment. And for the first time, she noticed something. A lot of his things were still here. The pots, the pans, the chair, the TV, the books, the refridgerator was still fill, and some of his clothes were still in the closet.

She instantly panicked.

He told her to meet him at his place. His place. This wasn't his place, not anymore. They were living together. He was living with her… at their place.

And she instantly thought of Nicole, and how he didn't move his stuff in with her. But she has more than a duffel bag, that says something, doesn't it?

Maybe he really didn't want to marry her.

But then why was she still here? Why didn't he just tell her? Why didn't he just say he didn't want to get married?

"Luke." She whispered, shaking him lightly.

He stirred a little, but he didn't wake up.

"Luke." She repeated a tiny bit louder, but still got nothing. "Luke." She said much louder. Damn, if only she had those bells.

"Luke." She said, and he finally began to wake up.

"Are you awake?" She asked.

"Did you wake me up to ask me that?" He asked her, opening his eyes. He saw the look on her face and knew something was up. "What's wrong?"

"Did I interrupt your car dream?" She asked him.

"No… What's wrong?"

"Do you want to marry me?" She asked softly.

He looked at her strangely, and sat up straighter. "Where's this coming from?"

"Well, you did cancel the wedding…" She said.

"We postponed it. I wasn't aware of any canceling."

"OK." She said.

"Is that it?" He asked, really wanting to go back to sleep.

She looked around the apartment, and turned back to him. "Why haven't you moved any of your stuff into the house?" She asked.

"I have." He said.

"Then what's all this?"

"It's the stuff that I don't really need." He said.

"You don't need plates, or socks, or that blue jacket over there?" She asked.

"You have plates… I brought socks to your house, and I hate that blue jacket." He said.

"OK." She said, still not very convinced. "So, why'd you say your place?"

"What?"

"Earlier… You said, meet me back at my place."

"So?"

"So? Luke, this isn't your place! The house, that's your place."

"I guess it's just habit." He shrugged.

"OK." She said.

"What's really bothering you?" He asked.

"I don't know." She shrugged.

He moved closer to her, and put his arm around her. It always ended up there, and she loved it.

"Why did you really postpone the wedding?" She asked.

"What? I didn't, you did." He said.

"But you had absolutely no objections. You were practically jumping for joy." She said. "I'm surprised you didn't break out the popcorn and start doing the wave."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Lorelai… I just… I mean I have a daughter."

"I'm aware." She said.

"I just, I don't know… I've missed 12 years of her life."

"You didn't know. I don't think she's going to hold that against you." Lorelai said.

"Look, I just… I want to get used to this… I want to get to know her, have things be normal… I want to be comfortable around her, and have her be comfortable around me. I want to figure things out."

"Figure what things out?" She asked.

"You know, how to be in her life… how to be her father." He said.

"So, that's it? That's the only reason you- we postponed the wedding?"

"Yes."

"OK." She said, not very convinced.

"You don't believe me." He accused.

"I want to." She offered.

He sighed. "I want to marry you… I really, really want to marry you… I can't wait to marry you… I just, I don't want things to be complicated, you know? I want everything to be OK. I want April things to be OK… I just want everything to be perfect, OK? I don't want millions of things going on. I don't want to have to worry about things… April, you know? But I want to marry you. I really, really do." He said, playing with her engagement ring again.

She looked down at her ring. "I just keep thinking your going to take that off of me." She said.

"Never." He told her.

She smiled. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"I'll ask Kirk about you later." She smiled, thinking about her discussion with him earlier.

"What?"

"Nothing, go back to bed."

"We OK?" He asked.

"Yeah, we're good." She smiled.

"Good." He said, starting to lie down on the bed again.

She watched as he quickly fell asleep again, and as he wrapped his arm around her waist. Just like he always did. And she still loved it.

She lied down beside him, and snuggled closer to him. She kissed the side of his head as he tightened his grip around her.

She was walking towards the diner, later the next day, when she saw them. Luke was standing at the door, greeting April, and an older woman who was probably her mother. She looked pretty, but Lorelai tried not to look. She thought about going to see them. She thought about introducing herself. She thought about meeting them.

But she saw Luke smiling at his daughter, and Anna heading out the door, and she decided not to. Luke had missed out on 12 years of that girl's life, and he was trying his hardest to make up for it. Luke needed time with his daughter. They needed time together. They needed to be alone, and get to know each other, before Lorelai came into the picture. Luke needed to know her first, before Lorelai got to know her. Luke needed his chance, and his time.

She turned around hoping Luke wouldn't notice, and walked towards the square.

"Kirk!" She called, when she saw him by the gazebo.

"What?" He asked, in his whiny, 4 year old voice.

"C'mon!" Lorelai called.

He ran to her. "What are we doing?" He asked, following her.

"I'm teaching you how to swim!" She told him.

"Why?"

"Well, what if there's a tsunami?" She asked.

He smiled, and Lorelai looked at the diner one last time. She saw Luke and April sitting at the table by the window, and she just knew.

They'd make this work.

If Gwen and Gavin could do it, so could they.

So, I liked the eppy.

I can't wait until Lorelai meets Anna. That shall be fun. I mean, we all know Lorelai was jealous of Rachel and Nicole… just imagine how she'll feel about Anna.

I wonder what was in the letter.

I loved the Lorelai/Rory talk about Luke and his daughter. It was beautiful. I've missed those two.

And Taylor… Oh God. "I better get going." "Back to 8 Mile?"

The maple syrup tasters.

And Mrs. Kim isn't going to get in Zach's way.

Luke and April were cute. Counting how many times the Frisbee guys drop the balls, and April filling up the salt… and coloring.

"Welcome to the S.H bitch."

I liked the episode. But, dude, where was the previews for next week? Did I miss something? Is there no new episode next week? Or did I just miss it?

Anyways, please review. Thank you and goodnight.