A/N- As to the cool e's at the end of Andr's name, apparently I was wrong in thinking they were being deleted. -shrugs- Whatever. Anyway, they're being returned because I like them.

AngelMusic- Thank you! I liked the book... I need ALW to explain how Moncharmin and Richard become Firmin and André. Or vice versa. I guess Hugo's Les Mis was put to musical better than Leroux's Phantom.

Bubonic Woodchuck- Your review nearly made me choke on... water. I dunno, apparently it's possible. Yeah, I figured my friend Emma and I do two-man Les Mis (which makes One Day More really interesting) so Erik can handle being all the boys.

Zella- Thank you muchly. Sorry that was a delayed update, but I'm all busy... it's my last week of summer. -sad face-

Favourite- Christine is Eponine and Raoul is Marius... but he's also Montparnasse, so it's all good. Yay for Raoul supporters!

nebulia- I don't think Carlotta was that great in the first place... Who is she in relation to Piangi? Lover? Wife? Cousin? -gasp- Piangi should have a stupid accent too! Oh, what to do?

Phoenix Wyvern- Merci. -salutes-


[A scrim is lowered with the words "Montreuil-sur-Mer, 1823" as the music gets all angry sounding and poor people crowd the stage. The poor people are extras like the firemen... and people you don't really care too much about.]

The Poor:

At the end of the day you're another day older

And that's all you can say for the life of the poor.

It's a struggle; it's a war

And there's nothing that anyone's giving

One more day standing about

What is it for?

One day less to be living!

[They are just kind of standin' there and looking bitter and cold and begging-ful. A couple of them kind of dart forward... yeah, that's about it.]

The Poor:

At the end of the day you're another day colder

And the shirt one your back doesn't keep out the chill

And the righteous hurry past

They don't hear the little ones crying

And the winter is coming on fast

Ready to kill

One day nearer to dying!

[Finally something else happens as the workers including Fantine (Meg) and the factory girl (Carlotta) have emerged from the factory along with Buquet the horny foreman.]

Buquet: You weren't kidding about me being all the extras, were you?

Authoress: Nope. Sing now.

Buquet: [sighs]

At the end of the day you get nothing for nothing!

Sitting flat on your butt doesn't buy any bread!

André: And here I am again.

There are children back at home

André/Firmin:

And the children have got to be fed

Firmin:

And you're lucky to be in a job

Christine:

And in a bed!

Workers:

And we're counting out blessings!

Firmin:

Have you seen how the foreman is fuming today?

André:

With his terrible breath and his wandering hands.

You know, Buquet really does have terrible breath...

Authoress: And wandering hands?

André: I hope not.

Firmin:

It's because little Fantine won't give him his way

André:

Take a look at his trousers, you'll see where he stands. Yeesh!

Christine:

And the boss, he never knows

That the foreman is always in... [flushes] heat

Firmin:

If Fantine doesn't look out

What how she goes

She'll be out on the street!

Workers:

At the end of the day it's another day over

With enough in your pocket to last for a week

Pay the landlord, pay the shop

Keep on grafting as long as you're able

Keep on grafting till you drop

Or it's back to the crumbs off the table

Well, you've got to pay your way

At the end of the day!

[Fantine goes to accept her mail from the Foreman, who attempts to lift her skirt. She ducks away with her letter. Carlotta grabs it from her.]

Carlotta:

And-a what haf we here leetle eenocent seester?

Come on, Fantine, let's haf all ze news!

[She opens the letter and begins to read]

Dear Fantine, you must send us more money

Your child needs a doctor

Zere's no time to lose!

Meg: [grabbing for the paper]

Give that letter to me

It is none of your business

With a husband at home

And a bit on the side!

Is there anyone here

Who can swear before God

She has nothing to fear

She has nothing to hide?

Someone in the audience: [whispering] I can't hear her... she's too quiet.

[Carlotta smacks Meg, and the two get into a catfight. Erik enters, looking all spiffy in a suit.]

Erik: They really should be mud wrestling.

Authoress: Hey, get back into character!

Erik:

What is this fighting all about?

Will someone tear these two apart?

This is a factory, not a circus... ugh, circuses... clowns scare me...

Authoress: Erik!

Erik:

Now, come on ladies, settle down!

I run a business of repute

I am the mayor of this town!

Whoa... they let a convict be mayor?

Authoress: No, stupid! You tore up the yellow ticket and assumed the alias of Monsieur Madeleine! They don't know who you really are!

Erik: This is too deep to be a musical.

Authoress: D'you wanna take this outside? I could take you.

Erik: [meekly] No ma'am.

Authoress: That's better. Insult not Les Mis and finish the scene.

Erik: [turning to the foreman]

I look to you to sort this out

And be as patient as you can

[He leaves]

Buquet:

Now someone say how this began!

Carlotta: [pointing to Meg]

At ze eend of ze day

She's ze one who began eet

Zere's a keed zat she's hiding een some leetle town

Zere's a man she 'as to pay

You can-a guess 'ow she peecks up ze extra!

You can get she's earning 'er keep

Sleeping around

And ze boss wouldn't like eet!

Random Guy in the Balcony: What kind of accent is that supposed to be?

Meg:

Yes, it's true there's a child

And the child is my daughter

And her father abandoned us,

Leaving us flat.

Audience Member: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Meg: [trying unsuccessfully to be louder]

Now she lives with the innkeeper man

And his wife

And I pay for the child

What's the matter with that?

Workers:

At the end of the day

She'll be nothing but trouble

And there's trouble for all

If there's trouble for one!

While we're earning our daily bread

She's the one with her hands in the butter!

You must send the slut away or

We're all gonna end in the gutter

And it's us who'll have to pay

At the end of the day!

Buquet:

I might have known the... dog... could bite

I might have known the cat had claws

I might have guessed your little secret

Ah, yes, the virtuous Fantine

Who keeps herself so pure and clean

You'd be the cause I have no doubt

Of any trouble hereabout

You play a... good person... in the light

But need... wow, this is bad! I'm not a very nice person, am I?

Carlotta:

She's been-a laughing at you while she's 'aving 'er men!

Workers:

She'll be nothing but trouble again and again!

Carlotta:

You must sack 'er today!

Workers:

Sack the girl today!

Buquet:

Right, my girl. On your way!