A/N- Gah, that update took longer than I'd hoped. Y'see, I have a job and I end up working almost every day, not to mention my duties to my Rob Marnell website and my two other fics. Of course, I've updated this before the others. But I'll try to at least update weekly from this point forward.
Raoul: Excuse me, Miss Authoress?
Authoress: Yo.
Raoul: Can my Lotte be in the show?
Authoress: Um...
Christine: Sweetheart, she's a bit young, don't you think?
Raoul: You mean there aren't any babies in this story?
Authoress: Not... really...
Raoul: Crap.
Christine: (pointing indignantly to the baby) Raoul! Little ears!
Raoul: Gasp! I'm sorry...
Christine: I forgive you, darling.
Eric Idle: (appears) This is lame and ridiculous. Cyber cookies to anyone who knows who I am (disappears)
Authoress: I know who you are! But wait... cyber cookies are my trademark... um... reviewer reward!
Erik: That mysterious British man was right... This is lame. Why don't we just get started on the next song thing?
Authoress: But... but... it's intermission. We need to have some sort of big... er... bang type ending to the first act! You know...
Erik: It's not intermission YET, is it?
Authoress: I finally figured out how to put music clips on my MagicHair site!
Erik: ... And this pertains to us... how?
Authoress: I dunno. I have a headache. I think Act II will be shorter than Act I. What do you think?
Erik: I think you should start the song now.
Authoress: You're a jerk.
Erik: I am loved by my phans!
Authoress: Oh yeah, the phangirls! I forgot they were here... So, who wants to do One Day More?
(Erik rolls his eyes.)
Authoress: Shut up. Okay, this is how it goes. Erik, you're Valjean. Carlotta, Cosette; Raoul, Marius; Erik, Enjolras; Toby, Thénardier; Christine, Éponine; Firmin, Madame T; Erik, Gavroche. Phangirls will be the extra revolutionaries. Anyone else? Oh, yeah. Javert's still up... no, never mind... Bahorel, you be Javert.
Bahorel: I get to be in Les Mis again! Yay!
Authoress: And you know what else? In the 98 movie, Geoffrey Rush played Javert. He also played Captain Barbossa in Pirates of the Caribbean, and d'you know who played his archenemy in this movie?
J.B. Jazz: Johnny Depp?
(The Reviewers hail the return of the Phangirls.)
Authoress: No...
Bahorel: I know! It was... Orlie! (He screams and rips off his chemise to reveal another tee with Orlando Bloom's smirking face across the front.)
Authoress: You do know he can't act worth a crap, right?
(Various Fangirls make noises of outrage and protest.)
Authoress: What? He can't! He plays the same role in every friggin movie... A prettyboy doing battle! Even in Black Hawk Down, he was just a bald prettyboy who was scared of doing battle and fell out of a plane!
Bahorel: Helicopter.
Authoress: Whatever. It's scary that you know that. Now come on, we're wasting time.
Erik: You can't possibly expect me to do three roles at once! This is ridiculous!
Authoress: I've done two-man Les Mis with a friend, and during One Day More I played Marius, Cosette, Javert, both Thénardiers, Gavroche, Enjolras, and Fantine!
Gothmeg: But Fantine's not in One Day More.
Authoress: Who asked you?
Erik: Well, you're awfully cranky today.
Authoress: That's because I finished reading the Charles E. Wilbour Les Mis at work yesterday, and now I'm reading a depressing book that gives me a headache.
Raoul: Aw, I'm sorry.
Authoress: I know you are, dear. Okay, we're gonna start this song now. Any objections? From someone other than Erik?
(Silence.)
Authoress: That's what I thought. Go Valerik, start the song.
Erik: (holding a suitcase, ready to leave for Calais with Carlotta)
One day moreAnother day, another destiny
This never-ending road to Calvary
These men who seem to know my crime
Will surely come a second time
One day more
(Raoul and Carlotta enter.)
Raoul:
I did not live until today.
How can I live when we are parted?Erik:
One day more
Raoul and Carlotta:
Tomorrow you'll be worlds away!And yet with you my world has started.
Christine: (watching Raoul and Carlotta)
One more day all on my own
Raoul and Carlotta:
Will we ever meet again?Christine:
One more day with him not caring!Raoul and Carlotta:
I was born to be with you!Christine:
What I life I might have knownRaoul and Carlotta:
And I swear I will be trueChristine:
But he never saw me there!(Erik re-enters, finally wearing the sexy red Vest. The Enjy fans rejoice.)
Erik:
One more day before the storm!Raoul:
Do I follow where she goes?Erik:
At the barricades of freedom!Raoul:
Shall I join my brothers there?Erik:
When our ranks begin to formRaoul:
Do I stay and do I dare?Erik:
Will you take your place with me?Assorted Phangirls:
The time is now!The day is here!
(Erik dashes over and picks up the Valjean suitcase.)
Erik:
One day more!(Bahorel dances in wearing the sideburns and civilians' clothes. He ties on a revolutionary's sash as he sings...)
Bahorel:
One more day to revolutionWe will nip it in the bud
I will join these little schoolboys
They will wet themselves... with blood!
Erik:
One day more!(Toby and Firmin pop up through a trap door, representing the sewers.)
Toby and Firmin:
Watch 'em run amuck!Catch 'em as they fall!
Never know your luck
When there's a free-for-all!
'Ere a lit'le dip!
There a lit'le touch!
Most of them are goners
So they won't miss much!
Phangirl Reviewers and Erikjolras:
One day to a new beginning!Raise the flag of freedom high!
Every man will be a king!
Every man will be a king!
There's a new world for the winning!
There's a new world to be won!
Do you hear the people sing?
(Meanwhile, Raoul has finally made a decision.)
Raoul:
My place is here!I fight with you!
(He and Christine join the group of phangirls, who have formed a little triangle with Erikjolras at the tip, and begin to do the I-have-to-pee dance. Toby and Firmin are in their trapdoor to the left, Bahorel is just in front of them, and Carlotta kneels at the right with an imaginary Valerik behind her.)
(The imaginary Valerik is replaced with a real one as Erik sprints over and grabs the suitcase of Valjean-ness.)
Erik:
One day more!
(The following takes place simultaneously as Bahorel joins the triangle of marching phangirl rebels.)
Raoul and Carlotta:
I did not live until today!
Christine:
One more day all on my own!Bahorel:
I will join these people's heroesI will follow where they go
I will learn their little secrets
I will know the things they know
Raoul and Carlotta:
How can I live when we are parted?Erik:
One day more!Raoul and Carlotta:
Tomorrow you'll be worlds away!Toby and Firmin:
Watch 'em run amuck!Catch 'em as they fall!
Never know your luck
When there's a free-for-all!
Christine:
One more day all on my own!Raoul and Carlotta:
And yet with you my world has started!Bahorel:
One more day till revolutionWe will nip it in the bud!
We'll be ready for these schoolboys...
Erik:
Tomorrow we'll be far awayTomorrow is the judgement day!
Erik and Bahorel:
Tomorrow is the judgement day!Everybody:
Tomorrow we'll discoverWhat our God in heaven has is store!
One more dawn!
One more day!
One... Day... More...!
(Fireworks and balloons and confetti go everywhere like at the end of the Tenth Anniversary Concert.)