On The Road With Danny Concannon 04-05: Lansing, Michigan

"The Other Danny, Pt 2"

Companion Piece: Impact Winter

Special guest star Jane Kaczmarek as Linda.

The next day Danny stood at the foot of his best friend's grave. He thought about the boy -- now the man -- who had known him the longest in his life, other than his family, and now that man was gone. Danny looked over the tombstone of a man who he'd shared so much more than their names.

It had been a quiet ceremony.

Danny surfed the crowd and saw faces he remembered and faces he tried to place, but just couldn't yet. It was and reminder of what he had left behind. Danny was a pillar of strength. He had to be, for Linda. It was the least he could do.

The day turned into night and Danny found himself lying on the bed in the guest room with a strange feeling in his stomach. He laid on the bed like he did when he was a kid not wanting to go down the stairs to the grown-ups below. He wondered if he could take a nap and not wrinkle his suit, so no one would notice. He adjusted on the bed, flattening down the back of his jacket, and setting his hand under his tie to smooth it down. Maybe he would just sit there all night. Maybe not.

Danny's phone rang and without moving from his spot he was able to reach for it, flip it open, and bring it to his ear.

"Yeah?" Danny said in a strong nasal tone, trying to hide his feelings from the caller, but no really succeeding.

"Danny, it's Maisy." She said in a small voice.

"Hey." He spoke with sweetness and a strain in his voice.

"Is this a bad time?"

"Nooo. No." His voice grated.

"Did I wake you?"

"No." His voice sounded fatigued.

"How ya doin?" She said with all her concern.

"Okay." Danny said lying through his teeth. "Let's get this over with," Danny groaned and lifted himself up against the back of the bed. He ran his hand over the side of his forehead and sighed.

"Okay." Maisy opened up the message planner on her computer. "I tried to reschedule all your pentagon interviews. Most seem to be okay with the twentieth—but it looks like you'll have to fit them all in real tight. Hutchinson says he can see you December 23rd at 3pm. But you only get twenty minutes while he walks from his office to the car."

"Okay—sounds good."

"But if this thing with Bartlet gets hotter I have a feeling he'll cancel on you." She paused and clicked. "Unless of course he feels mad and chatty like the last last time."

"Yeah." Danny had a small laugh in his voice. "How is the President doing? Any new stuff coming off the wire?"

"No—just that he's doing well and he's in China."

"Okay…."

"The rest of the things I believe are in January—the week before you go off to Iowa."

"Yeah, I remember."

"Are you doing a run over to New Hampshire first?"

"Not sure." Danny wasn't really ready to think that far ahead.

"Did you have an interview with a William Arnold?"

"Yeah. I told him to call the office to reschedule."

"I don't have him in the book?"

"I do make appointments on my own, Maisy."

"Well, I…." Maisy was going to reprimand him but decided not to. "I set it up for next week."

"Okay." Danny paused. "We done?"

"Yeah." She said in sweet, concerned tones. "I have you on a flight the day after tomorrow."

"Okay."

"I am sorry, Danny."

"Yeah, Thanks Mais. I'll see ya next week." Danny hung up the phone.

Danny walked in slow motion through the crowd of young and old. It just didn't seem to be real, maybe that was because it seemed more like a high-school reunion than a walk -- teachers and old friends, parents and old nemeses. He caught up with Bobby Fifer and was happy to talk with his old journalism teacher.

People offered their stories of Danny and Dan, the best friends with the same names. They offered their apologies to Linda and the kids, to Dan's parents. All the while Danny felt like he was just an observer in the whole thing, wafting through the wake like a disembodied head. He felt so far removed from everything, wanting to participate, but feeling like he couldn't—or wouldn't. He felt like he was in a haze as he went from person to person, like going from rock to rock across the pond till he reached dry land.

LATER:

Danny slid opened the doors that connected the living room and small study/family room, to reveal total darkness except for the hum and light of a television set. He walked forward toward the large armchair where Linda sat watching the news report. She leaned on her right hand and rested her left on the arm of the chair. Danny closed the doors and walked toward her.

"Your father sent me lookin' for ya?" Danny spoke with his eyes on the news report of Bartlet in China.

"Yeah…" She trailed off, looking toward the television.

"Hey," he said looking at her and taking her hand and squeezing it.

"Hey." She looked up at him with her red eyes. Danny smiled at her and she tried to smile back. He lost her focus as her eyes went back to the television, which was now talking about Bartlet's health. Danny held onto her hand, watching her every move as he saw how distracted she was. Linda was like a sister to him, and Dan a brother, looking at her was like seeing the pain of a family member.

"Is the First Lady a strong woman?" She paused. "She seems like a strong woman?"

"Yeah….." Danny asked with a question "She's a very strong woman." He looked at the television and saw what Linda was thinking before she could say it.

"I just feel bad for the wife—that's all." Still off in a daze, Danny leaned down and rested his chin on her hand, still holding onto it.

"Come back inside, okay, don't be alone." He kissed her hand and remained, sweetly, resting on her hand. Linda looked over at Danny and lackadaisically ran her hand through Danny's hair. "Come on," he said.

"I just feel bad for the wife, that's all."

Danny walked into the bedroom where he was staying. He wanted to get away for just a moment. He could hear the people downstairs, and the light came into the room from the hallway, making this place a haven from the downstairs world. He hadn't planned to sit, but he found himself sinking down to the edge of the bed. He needed a breather. With his back to the door, he checked his cell phone, which was sitting on the dresser, for messages, and then looked away before glancing toward the right corner of the room. That's when he saw her. CJ walked out of the shadows looking just like she had the last time he'd seen her on television.

He would pack her up in his suitcase for she would always come with him; she was always there. Packed in his valise under his heart and tucked in there between his shoe leather and his notebooks.

She walked over to the bed in silence and sat down next to Danny. There were no words. For a change he didn't need words. She sat down and squeezed his hand. They both smiled bittersweetly and looked into each other's eyes. Without words, she ran her hand through his hair, and Danny leaned down toward her. He slowly laid his head on her lap and she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Danny?" A woman's voice was heard and Danny lifted his head off the pillow in an empty room. He looked at Linda in the doorway.

"They're making the speeches."

"Ahh, yeah." Danny stood. "I'm coming."

"Well, I'm here to talk about my friend Dan, Danny—The other Danny." Everyone laughed. "I really should say that the other way around, 'cause when Dan was around I always the other Danny." He looked down and ran his fingers around the plastic cup in his hand. "It's hard for me to just come up with one story that sums up Dan—I mean when you know a guy your whole life—when he grows up down the street—there're just too many—and my memory is long…very long. I guess when I think of Dan, I first of all always think the memories are of us as kids….but, really—the memory—that I most like to think of is the man he became. I'd call him from the road and I'd stop by on my way through town and we'd talk about sports and sometimes we'd talk about politics—but the one thing I could never get him to stop talkin' about…..was his kids—his family. He couldn't wait to tell me about Pat's softball game, Petra's book report, or how he watched Lindsey go out on her first date—and how he stayed by the window the whole time." Linda smiled in recognition and Danny caught it. "And Linda." He motioned his cup toward her. "The love of his life. I can only be half as lucky…if a woman as decent as her accepts me into her heart--- Linda, his family, that was his pride—that was his joy and you heard it in his voice and you saw it in his face---it was his jewel—nothing was more precious. He took pride in it and he should have 'cause it is the legacy—the rock he leaves behind. And that is what he'd want us to celebrate---and promise never to let his jewel lose its luster." Danny raised his glass and his eyes welled up with tears. "To Daniel Sullivan." His voice broke. "I'll miss ya old buddy." The group raised their glasses to the toast.

Danny made his way through the crowd of well-wishers. "I don't know why some woman hasn't snatched you up yet." A woman of about eighty squeezed Danny's cheek making him feel embarrassed.

"Ahh…I don't know, Mrs. Doyle." He said and quickly got away from her grasp. Danny was getting a little hot under the spotlight, so he found his way out of the living room and into the foyer. He sat himself down on the second step of the stairway, and stared at the front door.

He needed air. He needed to get out and away from everything. He grabbed his coat and found himself on the front porch, and then walking down the cold street into the darkness. He walked a few blocks and found himself running, just running as fast as he could, his breath catching in the cold air. He ran as fast as he could, until he couldn't stand it any longer, somehow finding himself next to the fence of the old high school ball field. Danny leaned over and tried to catch some air. He looked up to see his own breath. Suddenly a searing memory came back to him as he took in a breath and let out a stream of heat.

"Come on, come with me, Dan." A young Danny asked his friend Dan, a young man his own age, tall and lengthy, with sandy hair and brown eyes.

"Danny—" Dan said with a long whine.

"No, come on. You and me—"

"You have a job in Dallas, Danny. I don't."

"So, what—you're just as good a writer as I am—a damn good one---better than I am."

"No one's as good as you, Danny." He spread his hands out in gesture.

"Whatever, I don't believe that—come on."

"I love Linda—I'm gonna marry Linda—"

"Bring her with you—"

"Danny, you ever think that's not what I'm cut out for?"

"What? And you don't want to see if you could?"

"I could do it here—I want a family, Danny—I want to marry Linda and have my kids grow up here—I like it here—here, Danny---this is what I want."

"You want to stay here and be just like our parents."

"No, no way—You think I want to be like my dad—work in the plant all my life—live in the same house I grew up in…but what if I did—what's so wrong with that. I love Linda and I want a family, Danny. Don't you?"

"Yes…" Danny spoke with surprise. "Yes, if I meet someone and I fall in love…yes, I'll want to have a family—but not at the price of this. It's not worth it to me to lose my dream. For you?"

"It's your dream, Danny---not mine."

Danny shook the memory away and took in another large breath. He looked up and slammed his back against the fence, making it sound with the hit. He sank to the ground and hit it with a thud, letting out a sound and running his hands over his face, then slowly leaning his head back as he let his hands fall to his side.

"Well, I'm staying." He heard his friend Dan's voice. "This is what's important to me. You need to respect that. We each have our own life's Danny boy—we all have our destiny. This is mine. This is what makes me happy Danny. This is it. This is what I want. This is what's important to me."

Danny shook it off again and looked out into the distance, watching his own breath, heavy in front of him, his eyes tearing up.

Danny found his way back to the house through a back path from the school, which led him to Dan's backyard. Danny made his way into the backyard, passing the basketball hoop, and caught his eyes on Dan's son Patrick. Patrick sat on the back porch, holding a basketball and looking up at the hoop. Danny put his hands in his pocket and walked up to the boy. In that moment he saw his own pain meant nothing compared to the pain of a young boy losing his father.

"Hey." Danny sat himself down. Patrick didn't answer. "Yeah." Danny looked out into the darkness with Patrick, stuffing his hands in his pockets for warmth. They sat in silence for a moment, each waiting for the other one to speak. Finally Patrick spoke.

"My dad talked about you a lot." Patrick spoke in a small voice.

"Funny?" Danny looked at the kid. "He talked about you a lot."

They sat in silence again for a long moment.

"You play basketball?" Danny asked.

"Yeah." Patrick looked at Danny.

"I played with your dad a lot."

"Me too." The boy looked at the ball and nothing else.

Danny rose and put his hands out. Patrick tossed him the ball and Danny made a basket. Danny retrieved the ball and threw it back to Patrick. The next thing the two knew, they were playing a game of ball, and for the first time in a long time Danny felt some kind of purpose.

It started to get colder and Patrick ran into the house. Danny slowly followed as he watched Patrick turn and smile back at him. He ran past Linda who had been watching from the door.

"Nice, job—he hasn't smiled all week." Linda smiled back at him. "Everyone's gone, we're going to finish some of the actual edible food." Linda opened up the screen door for Danny with a creak. She walked toward him holding the door open for him.

"Your assistant called—she couldn't get you on your cell—she's Fed-Ex-ing your plane ticket over---it should be here in the morning."

"Linda?"

"Yeah?" She looked at him with a half-crooked grin.

Danny stepped forward. "I was thinking I could stay a little longer, spend some time with the kids—with you. If that would be all right? If it's okay with you?"

"Sure, Danny," she said, unsure why he felt he had to ask or why he felt the need to stay. "But, you don't have anything waitin' for you in DC?"

"Waitin' for me in DC?' Danny put his hands in his pocket. "Naw. I don't have anythin'" He shook his head and smiled before moving past Linda, but Linda saw a strangeness in the smile. Something she felt in her gut – Danny was dealing with something else, something besides his grief over her husband, his friend. Danny made his way past Linda and she watched him walk back into the house.

To Be Continued…..