Disclaimer: Does it look like I own Harry Potter? Please. If I did, well then I'd be enjoying my time and reading a book instead of writing this. Okay, did that make any sense? How about this, Harry Potter not mine.

Chp2. "Get Your Mind Out Of the Gutter"

Amos Diggory was certainly having a good week, that is, including Saturday. He had been laid twice already and Moody had even given him Sunday off. What more could have topped that off?

"It's you!" Lily repeated, her eyes bulging.

"Ah, yes, Lily Evans, my new lovely partner," he said winking his right eye.

"Could you be any less revolting?" Lily spat. Amos Diggory was a foul-mouthed, dirty "man" who should, in Lily's opinion be in Azkaban for all the innocent girls that he had bedded.

"Oh, but Lily dearest, is that any way to greet your new partner?" Amos said slyly.

"Please. You cannot be my partner. You are merely above a trainee."

"Ah, but Lily Evans, on vain one, if you cared about anyone but yourself, you would have known that I, too, have been promoted." Lily rolled her eyes. As if she only cared about herself. Well, there is that Potter situation. She didn't really care about Potter's feelings because she refused to be married to him. But still, that didn't mean she didn't care about him. Heck, she was saving him the trouble of being with her. She would be a horrible wife. She couldn't cook, clean or take care of any children. Oh god, children.

"Lily, dearest, please snap out of your reverie."

This of course brought Lily back to reality. "Oh shut up. Let's just get this over with."

"Ah, but dearie, we will be working together on every mission and filing the same papers and going to the same events, we'll practically be married by the end of our term. Perhaps I should get the ring ready?"

Lily reached to smack his arm. "You are crazy if you think for one moment that I will-"

"WHAT IS THIS! LILY EVANS HAS A RING ON HER FINGER!" Lily inwardly cursed at Amos.

The room became quiet. Everyone stared at Lily with his or her mouth wide open. She tried to ignore their gazes and looked elsewhere, right into the eyes of…Potter. How… lovely. He smirked at her with his eyes twinkling. Oh how he got under her skin constantly. He was an incurable disease. She gritted her teeth.

"Amos is merely dreaming that I am married. This ring is actually a family heirloom from my great-grandmother. It's her ring and I just have always loved it. My grandmother just recently passed away and she gave it to me. So, now if everyone can get on with business and stop looking at me as if I were crazy, we'll be just fine and dandy." Thus, Lily proceeded to walk out of the room.

Lily had made it halfway down the corridor when her best friend Sophie London cornered her and demanded to know what was going on.

"Lily Evans! I would like to know what the hell that was back there. I know for a fact that your grandmother is not dead; she sent us cookies just last week by owl."

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I just… it's just…things are very complicated in my life right now."

"Does this have anything to do with the fact that you didn't come home last night?"

"So you noticed?" Lily asked apprehensively.

"Of course. I'm your best friend! How could I not notice these things? So, what happened last night? Where did you end up sleeping? And why the hell do you have a ring on your finger?" Sophie ended up pointing her finger right into Lily's face.

"You're going to poke my eye out. And that would be bad wouldn't it? Then I wouldn't be able to tell you what happened."

"And what did happen? Do tell."

"Well, let's just say going to Fever was the worst decision in my life. And you know how I like making the right decisions."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Lily, come on, get to the good part. You know when you ended up in James' bed and-"

"WHAT? How did you know! Did he tell you? I am going to KILL him!"

Sophie, who had been laughing at Lily's loud outburst, stopped. "I was just joking. Are you telling me that you…and James Potter…are married!"

"Yes! And keep it down. I bet people in America heard you! And besides, I don't know how if happened, but it did. And now, I'm stuck being his wife, for the time being. Tonight, when I finish filing all my papers, I will go to his apartment and demand that we get divorce papers."

"But Lily, why? He's a pureblood who comes from a very prestigious family. I'm sure, you can get some money off of him if you play your cards right."

"Sophia Amanda London, are you insisting that I try to scam Potter? He's not even worth the trouble."

"Oh come on, who does it really hurt? I mean, James isn't losing any money, and well, we all know you could use it."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Thanks, best friend, for coming up with a scheme that will certainly not work. Sometimes I wonder who the sane friend is."

"Hey! I didn't say you had to do it. I'm just…suggesting it."

"And I know you well. You don't suggest anything unless you want to see some action of some sort. And that will not be happening. I will be getting annulment papers and then it's good bye to James Potter, the conceited, spoiled and utterly disgusting "man"," Lily said doing the cliché air quotes.

"Oh come on, play with the idea for a while, Lily."

"No, dah-ling, because it won't work.

"What is with this dah-ling crap?"

"Eh, it's just something stupid Potter calls me."

"Aww… it looks like you've grown on him already. How sweet."

"Oh shut up. That's just disgusting. Getting money from him won't make me happy either. It'll be his money, and he'll bug me about it every single day."

"Fine, be that way, bitch."

Lily stuck out her tongue. "Yeah, how mature."

"Like sticking out your tongue was?"

"Of course. Now, please, can we change topics?"

Sophie huffed. "Only since you asked so nicely."

"Oh, I know I'm nice," Lily said with a smirk.

"So, want to hear about my date with Shawn Seymour?"

Lily laughed in disbelief. "You went out with Seymour! But he's impossible to go out with. He's always with one girl, you lucky like bitch."

Sophie took a long and slow bow. "Why thank you very much. But I have to say that I really enjoyed his company. He was sincere, nice and such a gentleman."

"Things that James Potter will never be."

"Hey, Lils I thought we had switched topics…" Sophie said waggling her eyebrows in a suggestive way.

"Get your head out of the gutter. Just because I did Potter and am talking about him, doesn't mean it has to be nice stuff. I did say he was an arrogant, stupid, rich and spoiled guy, didn't I?"

"Okay Lily, whatever you say."

And it would be whatever Lily said. So what if she just switched topics to the person that she hated most? She still hated him. Feelings and emotions and mutual enmity didn't change over night. Especially over sex. It was impossible. Lily Evans was not a pushover. She needed the courtship and the chase in a relationship before anything like that could happen. It was impossible. She couldn't like him. She hated him. All those years at Hogwarts? She hated him. She hated him. She hated him. She did. Right?

A/N: Yay! Another lovely little chapter. I know the emotions and the feelings aren't that thoroughly done, but hey I'm a conversationalist, not a heavy deep thinker. So, please tell me what you thought about it. By the way, don't we all just love Amos Diggory? Of course. It was somewhat random, but will make sense in the long run. Well, at least I hope so…

Anyway, SATs are over for me and now I can just focus on school and perhaps even this! gasps Yes, let's get the laughter over with. Okay, that's it for now. If you want to suggest anything, please be my guest. Perhaps I'll take them into consideration, since I'm pretty much winging it. Can you believe this is first story story that I hope to finish? I've done many one-shots that have been deleted… but that's all right. laughs Well, I went on a bit of a tangent.

Toodles for now. Lily/LavenderSoapSmellsGood