A/N: I have not updated in such a long time. Try not to kill me XD I've been so busy lately and well, sorry guys. Thanks to all my lovely reviewers, of course. Here's another installment. I'm not so sure if I like this one though...Oh well.

Summary: Lily Evans is supposed to be enjoying her early 20s. She just got promoted to one of the top Aurors in the Ministry. After one night of partying, she ends up in the bed of none other than James Potter. And now she's married to him! Could life get any more hectic?

Disclaimer: Not mine, I wish though. This all belongs to J. K. Rowling.

Chp. 3 "I'll Help You Out"

Lily Evans hated Amos Diggory. She abhorred him. She despised him. She wanted him dead. 'How dare he try and make a move on me?' She inwardly thought to herself. Now, she knew that he was a twit who just wanted to get laid by more girls than James Potter, but to make a move on her in such a public place! God, if Moody had been there, well…Lily didn't know what would have happen. Perhaps he would have blown his casket? Well, actually, now that she thought about it…that didn't seem like such a bad idea.

Anyway, back to that stupid, idiotic, low-life, ugly Amos Diggory. Lily Evans hated him. And Potter was not making it any better. And he was supposed to be her husband, not that Lily expected any decency from Potter or for him to care for Lily's well being, oh no she hadn't expected that at all…but could he at least shut up about her dreary situation?

What had happened was something Lily wished she could wipe from the memories of everyone in the wizarding world. Lily, Amos and a bunch of other Aurors had been sent to the scene of a death of some rich, old bald man who supposedly dealt with the Dark Lord. Lily was completely focused and serious about finding clues and perhaps killing off a Death Eater or two. Didn't Moody say he'd give out bonuses for catching Death Eaters? Unfortunately, there weren't any.

Instead, while looking for clues and searching around the rich, old, bald man's home, Lily surrounded herself with a couple of other Aurors who happened to be intrigued by something they had learned at Hogwarts, a fellytone, was it? Lily chuckled to herself. Ah, those Magical folk.

And that was when she felt it. Someone had squeezed her arse. She whipped her head around and saw her fellow peers laughing at her. Who had done it? They would not live to see the following day.

Lily glared at each and every Auror until she made eye contact with her other least famos person in the world Amos Diggory. He smirked at her. And then she blew up.

"What the hell is wrong with you Diggory? I could call the Ministry and file for sexual harassment. You are a perverted man who needs to get a life. Get away from me and your 'family jewels' will remain intact. If you so choose to further fuck with me, I will be forced to cremate you. God, you think you're the God's gift to the world. Well, let me tell you something, you're not. So, place leave me the hell alone. Have a good day you fucking arsehole," with that Lily strode off, not hearing the laughter of the other Aurors.

She finally made her way into another section of the home. She saw old family photos and smiled at them. So maybe the old chap wasn't that bad of a guy, right? But then again, looks could be misleading.

"That was a really good show Lilykins, I think that Amos can now never show his face in the Ministry. I think even the journalists from the Daily Prophet heard that," said a voice right behind Lily, whom she dreaded.

"What are you talking about Potter?" Lily asked turning around.

"Well, the Prophet had heard some old rich guy died, and since you know how lately the Prophet's been down in articles, they decided to published an article on this death. Well, there were a couple of photographers and journalists in the same room as you were just in. I'd love to see what they publish tomorrow morning."

"Shut up, Potter."

"It's actually James."

"Shut up, James."

"Sorry my love, but that's just something I cannot do. Besides, how can you resist the sound of my lovely voice?"

"Shut up. I hate you."

"Oh, Lilykins, I love you, too."

"No, you don't."

"Well, okay, maybe not, but still, I'm your husband, I have to love you."

"Well, I could always get an annulment or a divorce from you," Lily said thinking back to her conversation with Sophie.

James snorted. "Yeah, like that's going to happen anytime soon."

Lily's nose wrinkled. "What does that mean?"

"Oh you know, you love being married to me. I have money, looks, a good personality…"

This time it was Lily's turn to snort. "Right…"

"Well, fine. But we have to stay married."

He was falling in Sophie's trap without even realizing it. "What are you talking about?"

"Well aren't you happy being married to me?"

Lily laughed. "Right, if you mean, happy as in the context of being, miserable, horrified and hating you, then yes, I'm very happy."

"Oh, well I figured this much. But we have to stay married."

"What are you talking about Potter?" I don't have to do anything. We don't have to stay married if I don't want to."

"Look, Lily, this is really complicated right now, but we have to stay married."

"What? Why? You can't force me. And I know you, Potter. You have something hidden up your sleeve. Is that an ace I see?"

"Oh shut up. I can't tell you or else you'll ruin it Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, or should I say, Mrs. Goody-Two-Shoes?"

"Shut up and tell me now or you'll lose you're 'family jewels'".

"And here I thought all this time that Lily Evans liked my family jewels."

Lily playfully smacked him. "Shut up."

"My, my, is that the education we received from Hogwarts? Shut up is quite the extravagant word isn't it?" It's 2 syllables."

"Will you jut get on with what you're going to try to keep from me before I have to dismember your jewels?"

"Okay, fine. I wasn't going to tell you this earlier, but well, we're married right?"

Lily nodded. "Boy, you are daft aren't you? Anyone who is still an twit can see that we are. We have the same ring! I mean, obviously we aren't married. Look at the description engraved onto the inside of my ring. I love James Potter. Oh, no, no one would think we're not married. God!"

"Oh will you calm down. I'm trying to tell you something."

"Oh please continue, your grace."

"Lily, shut up."

"Oh, now who has the poor verbal skills."

"Can I please speak!"

"I don't know Potter, can you speak?"

"Stop playing with my words, Lily."

"Oooh, you said Lily. This must be very important."

"You are cruel and intolerable."

"I know. And you obviously love me for it."

"Okay, can I get on with my thing?"

"I thought you weren't going to tell me Potter."

James glared at Lily. Sometimes she could be so insufferable. Why couldn't she understand that he wanted to tell her something really important? It depended on their relationship so much. He wasn't daft. He knew for sure that Lily would some how weasel her way through and find out his plans. He might as just well make her work for it right? Besides, it was fun bantering with her. Fun? Lily Evans and fun did not belong in the same sentence. She was uptight, rigid, a perfectionist- anything but fun. Perhaps she changed? Nah. Perhaps he changed?

James shook his head. "Okay, look, here's what I need to tell you. You know how my family is pureblood right?"

Lily shook her head. "Actually, Potter I didn't know that. Perhaps this is why you flaunt your money constantly and brag about all the women you can have."

"Lily…" James said, his eyes narrowing.

"Okay, quieting now."

"Well, anyway, my grandparents left me some money, and well, let's just say it's a hefty sum, but I can't have the money to spend on my frivolous one night stands with hot girls until I'm 35 unless I get married first. And well, hey, look at that…I'm married. So, I could just easily pick up my money, but well, my parents have gotten involved in this situation and-"

"You're parents know!" Lily shrieked. "You told them? You really are a lunatic aren't you!"

"Don't be so daft Lily, of course I didn't tell them. Sirius did."

"Sirius knows! Why the hell would you tell him?"

"Well, come on he's my best friend. How could he not know? Besides, he would find out eventually, and well, no time like the present right?"

"Potter, you really are pissing me off today."

"Well, anyway, it's actually not my dad who doesn't believe we're 'so madly in love with each other' it's my mother. She says she has to judge whether or not we're madly in love and then I can get the money. Isn't that just splendid?"

"Actually, Potter it is, because you won't be getting that money until you're 35, because I certainly will not be helping you out."

"Aww, but Lily, there's always a bright side to everything, isn't there?"

"What are you getting at Potter?"

"Well, let's just say, if you help me out, I'll help you out. "

"What?"

"Look I know you've been struggling a little bit lately. The force hasn't been paying much lately and while most Aurors are well off, them being purebloods and such, you, my wife are not. So, if you help me for let's say a couple of months, I'll be sure to set you up very well."

Lily's eyebrow rose. "Really, Potter? You would do that for me?"

"Well you are indeed helping me aren't you?"

"Well, how do I know whether or not you'll keep your end of the bargain?"

"Well, we can do the Unbreakable Vow."

"Potter, if we did, we'd have another person know about our late night escapade, and I really don't want to see that on the front page of the Daily Prophet. Oh god, the horror!"

"Well, we're both very good at magic right? I don't think it should be that hard to do it ourselves."

Lily was still hesitant. Making a pact with James Potter was a bad idea. But he was right, she did need the money. But was it worth risking her sanity? Besides, it would help him and that was the last thing she needed to see; James Potter leaving well off with some bimbo blonde girl he picked up at the Witches' Wall. A trickle of jealously lapsed Lily's emotions. No, it couldn't be. It was just for the money that she desperately needed, right? Right?

"All right, Potter. But if anything goes wrong, well, it'll be your family jewels."

A/N: Well, that's another chapter, folks. I love how I change from it being about Diggory to Lily and James. Sorry if that's annoying or confusing. I just felt like it had to progress. Anway, stay tuned for the next chapter. I'll try to get that up as soon as I have time. Perhaps I should start writing it now? I mean, besides the fact that I have mounds and mounds of homework... oh well. Don't forget to review. I can see the number of hits people make! Even if it's constructive criticism or, "I love your fic" I will love you guys XD

Lily