Chapter 7: Gambit

TW: disordered eating

Dreams can be terribly strange, I realize, as I find myself well-aware of the fact that I'm having one.

It's not really a dream, it's a memory. But I can see myself- I'm six years old, and I know for a fact that even in the dark, moon-lit surroundings, I'm at my mom's house in Phoenix.

I watch as the six-year-old me whimpers and stumbles out of my bedroom, bottom lip jutted out as fat tears fall down a soft, round face. I can tell I've just had a nightmare, the wide-eyed horror on my face familiar as I watch from some unknown distance. I'm wearing fuzzy socks, and the sound of them shuffling against the rug as I wander through the hallway is the only sound I hear beside my own sniffles.

I could never sleep well at Mom's house. It was the Arizona heat, maybe, or maybe I didn't like my room very much- the ceilings too high, the mattress of my twin bed too new, my belongings feeling like both mine and not mine at all. Or maybe the stress of being so far from a place I knew to be home was what scared me so much in the dead of night, the feeling of being in a strange place with no way to leave.

"Bella?" six-year-old me whispers in the doorway of her room. I stare at her unmoving form snuggled tight under the covers, dark locks of hair tangled on top of a light green pillowcase. She's fast asleep, and I let out another hummed whimper as I tiptoe closer to her bed.

"Bella?"

Nothing still.

My younger self knows Bella doesn't really like it when I crawl into her bed at night, even if it's because I'm afraid, so I stand beside her and will her to wake up. "Bella, I'm scared," I say to dead ears.

She still doesn't move, so I put a hand on her shoulder and push it lightly. Bella lets out a noise of complaint at the disruption, and I take two steps back as if to pretend I hadn't done it in the first place. She opens a single eye and with a frown, she adjusts her comforter. "Sophie, go back to bed," she scolds groggily.

"I can't. I had a bad dream."

"No you didn't. You just don't wanna be by yourself."

"I did, too!" I say rather hysterically, stomping my foot against the floor as another tear finds its way down my cheek. "There was a monster in it."

"It wasn't real. Go back to your room."

"Can I please sleep here?" I ask weakly, giving her large, puppy-dog eyes. "Please? I won't do it again."

"No. You always say that, and then you just come back. You kick too much, too."

"Please, Bella? Last time for real, I promise," I beg. "Please? Pleasepleaseplease-"

Bella throws the comforter down and forces her way to the other pillow, a puff of air leaving her mouth in agitation as she moves over for me. My sniffling disappears, and there's a tiny, triumphant grin on my face as I shimmy my way under the bedsheets next to her. I bury myself under the blanket until only my eyes are visible, and I turn towards her. My knee accidentally taps against her own, and she unhappily opens that same eye again.

"I really did have a bad dream," I say quietly, almost in an apology. "And there really was a monster."

"I wanna sleep."

"It's 'cause nobody checked."

"…Huh?"

"Daddy always checks to make sure there's no monsters. Nobody checked before I went to bed," I tell her, tears welling in my eyes again. "I wanna go home."

"You are home. Mom's downstairs."

"My home doesn't have a Mommy. I wanna be there with my Daddy, not here."

Both of Bella's eyes open, and she almost looks upset as she stares at me. "You do have a Mom," she says quietly. "She's just my Mom, too."

I shake my head in the pillow, disagreeing. "No. Daddy is my Daddy all the time, and Mommy's only my Mommy for a little while."

My mom doesn't check for monsters, and when she does, she only looks under the bed and inside the closet- she's supposed to check the curtains and the drawers and the Barbie house, but she doesn't because she works too early in the morning and has to go to sleep.

She doesn't swing hands with me in the parking lot; she always forgets the only meat I'll eat is chicken, because the idea of eating a cute cow or pig makes me sad. She doesn't give me words to spell out when we're in the car, she brushes my hair too rough, and she doesn't give me quarters for the vending machines at the mall.

But Dad does everything right - he reads 'Where the Wild Things Are' with all the funny voices no matter how tired he is, he helps Jake and I build the best blanket forts with in the living room, he draws L's and R's in the soles of my shoes since I still mix them up.

Mom seems to forget a lot about these kinds of things, and maybe that's why Bella lives with her and I live with my dad. It'd be a lot to remember, having two daughters. I guess it makes it easier to only have one.

"They stood watching her, with faces full of love and hope and tender pride as she walked away, leaning on her husband's arm, with her hands full of flowers and the June sunshine brightening her happy face – and so Meg's married life began."

I fold over the corner of the page as I finish a chapter of my English book, my other hand lazily pushing around a spoon in my bowl of cereal. As I place my copy of Little Women down on the kitchen table, I look up at Bella and Dad, blinking my eyes as I adjust away from the small font.

It must be one of those good guesses Edward mentioned he makes quite often, because he was right- over the last few days, I've become completely enamored by the narratives of four sisters who lived a century-and-a-half ago. I've never been as big a reader as Bella, and reading books for school has never been my strong suit….yet, the intricate plots of sisterhood and true love pull me in so strongly, I feel like my head is permanently planted between the pages.

I'm no closer to getting started on my essay, but I feel a swell of pride that I'm managing to catch up.

"And she comes up for air," Dad says wryly, looking up from his cup of coffee and at the cover of the novel. "That good, huh?"

I nod my head. "You ever read it for school?"

"Kid, I barely remember what I had for dinner last night. Who knows."

My mouth purses pitifully, and I tilt my head to the side. Dad looks absolutely exhausted – the animal attacks have still gone unsolved, and I can tell it's putting a lot of stress on him and the rest of his department. "Still no news?" I ask him, knowing I don't have to explain further because he already knows. He sighs.

"Just dead ends and half-formed theories, so far," he tells me. "We're working with the Port Angeles P.D. now, but none of those guys seem to know any more than we do."

It doesn't make any sense to me. How could some big, ferocious animal hide right out of sight? Surely, someone must've seen something by now.

"And it's definitely an animal? Like, it couldn't be anything else?" I question, my mind already retreating in the direction of even worse scenarios. Serial killers, cannibals, a lone criminal on a spree- in the Pacific Northwest, it feels like any of those could be true at any given time.

Bella shrinks into herself in her chair, her mind undoubtedly going where mine must be. I want to tell her not to be too worried; that even though Washington is home to people like Ted Bundy and The Green River Killer, Forks is actually pretty safe. The look on my dad's face keeps my mouth fastened shut.

"There's no way a human being could do any of what we've seen. You both count your blessings that you didn't see the pictures," he grumbles, taking a long sip from his mug. He sets it down and clears his throat, shaking his head of his thoughts. "Let's talk about something that doesn't depress the hell out of me. Sophie, ready for your game tonight?"

I swallow harshly as I think about our team's qualifier. I'm a little nervous, and it's not just because it's our last game before Regionals – Bella is coming along with her boyfriend, and in a rare display of boldness, I invited Seth last night before I went to bed. A part of me hoped that the short-notice would deter him, but as luck would have it, he texted me back a full three minutes later letting me know he'd be sitting in the stands.

I'd invited Jake too, who was completely on board until I mentioned Edward arriving in Bella's tow. Strangely, he only remembered after the fact that he needed to pick up a spare car part for the Rabbit, which meant he'd be out of town for the day.

If the situation were any different, I wouldn't mind as much- but now that the clock is steadily inching towards three o'clock, his absence has stirred my feelings into ones of frustration. It would've made my life a lot simpler if he was coming, if only because at the very least he's the common thread between Dad, Bella, and the guy I've run circles around during 1v1s.

"Sure," I fib, my spoon clinking against the ceramic. "Are you sure you want to come? If you're too tired, or…"

"You kidding me? It's the one thing I've been looking forward to all week," he tells me incredulously. Damn.

"Dad," Bella says nervously, glancing up at me with a knowing look in her eye. "I'm gonna be bringing a friend from school along. Edward, he's Dr. Cullen's son."

"Edward? Which one is that?"

"Just the one that saved Bella from a very untimely demise," I chime in, the tone of my voice playfully ghoulish as I finish my sentence. "Knight in shiny, coiffed hair. No biggie, or anything."

Dad and Bella both shoot me unimpressed looks.

"We have a science project to work on due Monday, so we'll probably head straight from the game to go to the library."

The library, I mentally scoff. What a load of crap. "Chemistry, or anatomy?" I mutter with a stifled giggle. I'm met with a pair of slightly narrowed eyes and a ticked jaw, but I can't help but I feel a little pleased about my joke to care.

Seeing the humored look on my face, Bella looks at Dad and then back at me. "Isn't someone else coming to watch, Sophie? I can't remember his name, what is it again?"

It's my turn to shoot her a dark look of my own, though I should've anticipated some degree of karma after my own unnecessary comment. Dad looks between us with a raised brow, sensing something's gone unsaid. "Jake?"

"No, he has some stuff to do for his car so he's not coming," I explain tersely. "I, uh, actually invited Seth Clearwater to the game tonight. He's a soccer fan…thought it'd be a nice gesture."

I actually have no idea if Seth is a soccer fan or not, there's a sizable difference between playing for kicks and watching an entire ninety minutes. The only thing I know is that he enjoys getting his ass kicked during possession drills for an inane reason I don't understand, and he has an athletic talent he has zero intentions of putting to good use.

Dad looks at me a little funny, and oddly, I feel a little caught. "Seth, as in Harry's boy?"

"Yeah. I mean, if that's okay with you."

"Sure, he's a good kid. Glad we've all moved past the hair-pulling thing, I guess."

I let out a bewildered chuckle and glance between him and my sister. Hair pulling? What? "Uh…what in the world are you talking about?"

"You don't remember?" he asks me mirthfully, eyes unfocused as if he's recalling a memory. "I guess it really has been a long time since those playdates at Billy's. Harry and I thought we were gonna have to start dividing up the sandbox, the way you two behaved."

I meet eyes with Bella, confusion muddying my brain. Seth and I literally just met each other. What the hell?

Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to have any idea as to what he's referring to, either. She shrugs uselessly.

"Dad, I think you meant to say Jake," I ask slowly, like I'm speaking to an old person. "Seth and I met for the first time the other week."

"Nope. Me, Billy, and Harry used to get all you kids together years and years ago. You two couldn't have been any older than four and six," he says. "Billy's girls and Harry's daughter used to take right off on their bikes, and the four of you would make the biggest messes I've ever seen in that backyard. I swear, Sarah must've tried to fix up her vegetable garden nearly a dozen times before she gave up."

I have absolutely no memory of any of this, and despite the explanation, I fail to see how that has anything to do with whatever 'behavior' he's referring to. "Okay? And what does that have to do with Seth and hair-pulling, or whatever?"

"Sue used to say he did it because he'd never seen anything like 'em," he explains. With a single hand, he reaches over and tugs at a stray curl hanging in my face. It straightens out and springs back into shape, and annoyedly, I quickly smooth it away and tuck it behind my ear. "But that boy used to tug on your hair every time your back was turned, and it used to drive you nuts. No matter how many times we told him to stop, his hand would shoot out as soon as he was in reach. You'd have a meltdown, then he'd have a meltdown, and then we'd go home."

I can see in Dad's expression that he's being completely honest, but it's odd to reconcile this forgotten piece of my childhood with a person I'd assumed was a total stranger until now. It's even harder to reconcile that the kind, ever-grinning Seth I've become acquainted with was some kind of hair-pulling maniac in our younger years.

How could I have forgotten?

"Oh," I say for lack of anything better. "Did we ever hang out with Harry's kids after that, then? I didn't even recognize Seth, I assume we must've stopped seeing them."

Dad's nostalgic grin twitches, and he reaches for his coffee. His eyes cautiously dart to Bella, and he smooths a hand over his face. "Well," his voice grows a little quiet, rougher than it was a minute ago. "There was the divorce…Bella moved to Phoenix, I signed you up for youth league. Billy and I made a little more of an effort to get you and Jake together after…after, uh, Sarah passed. We…we thought it'd be good for you two, being in a similar boat and all."

Uncomfortable silence falls over the kitchen table, and with a deep breath, Bella motions for us to hand her our breakfast plates for cleaning. Dad occupies himself with the handle of his mug, and just as I move to stand up, my phone buzzes in my pocket.

From: Seth Clearwater

In case I don't see u before u get on the field, good luck!

Can't wait 2 see u kick someone else's ass for once :)

I don't text him back, but if I excuse myself from the kitchen and smile all the way back up to my bedroom, I'm the only one who knows about it.

"Get the party started on a Saturday night,

Everybody's waiting for me to arrive

Sending out the message to all of my friends,

We'll be looking flashy in my Mercedez Benz!"

My palms are a little sweaty as I stretch my hamstrings out on the pitch.

Despite my best efforts, I can't stop glancing at the metal bleachers behind me. The pregame song blaring out overhead does little to drown out the sounds of parents and peers speaking amongst each other only a few feet away from me.

Sneaking another look, I see Dad, Bella, and Edward sitting on the second-highest riser, their mouths unmoving as they sit together stiffly. I would laugh at their obvious discomfort if I wasn't so nervous, but because I am, all it does is make something in my stomach churn with anxiety.

Seth is nowhere to be seen. I don't know where he is or what that means, but any relief I thought I'd feel about his lack of presence gives way to something else I don't know how to describe.

Dad catches me turning my head, and he gives me a wave. I don't wave back, I never do – then again, I don't normally spend my entire warmup looking out at the crowd. I offer a weak smile, and his hand forms a quick thumbs-up.

"Swan," calls a gravelly voice from a short distance. I turn and see Taylor, sporting her captain arm band and an all-too-knowing expression, beckoning me over with a jerk of her chin. I jog up to her and flank myself by her side, but she motions for me to grab a ball and take a few steps back.

Without question, I do as I'm told and toss one of our practice balls onto the grass, rolling my shoulders as I make a quick pass. She passes it right back, and I nearly miss it because yet again, my head is swiveled behind me.

"Waiting for someone?" she teases, her voice muffled by the volume of the music playing from the speakers. My cheeks flush. "No," I lie miserably.

"Uh-huh," she snorts, sounding unimpressed with my attempt. "Looking over there every five seconds isn't gonna make whoever it is suddenly show up, you know."

Obviously, I defend mentally. But apparently, my brain isn't getting the message.

As I pass the ball back to Taylor, I scan over her. A senior, she's been playing for twice as long as I have and it shows. Nothing in her stance indicates any sign of nerves despite the importance of today's game; looking every bit the quintessential team captain she is. Standing at a remarkable five-foot-nine next to my average height, it's hard to ignore how in her strong, controlled movements, she seems to tower over the entire field.

It makes me wonder if I'll ever have a fraction of her poise; if I'll ever wear that same armband. I wonder if having made it to Varsity as a freshman will even matter once I become a senior and everyone's long forgotten; I wonder if I'll ever have teammates who look to me the way we look to her.

"You've been practicing," she acknowledges, her eyes searching mine. I can count the conversations I've actively participated in with my older teammates on a single hand, but I nod my head and try to disguise my surprise at her notice.

"Yeah. I've been putting in the work, I guess."

"I can tell. Just kicking around with the Chief, or what?"

My throat tightens as I shrug. Coach's words float in my head.

'Definitely don't need the rest of the team getting jealous.'

Her expression is definitely one of expectation as she waits for a real reply, so I let out a light laugh. "The, uh, the person I was looking for. He's been a big help."

It's not not the truth. Just not the whole one, either.

She opens her mouth to say something else, but the music abruptly cuts off and a whistle blows in the distance. The loudspeakers crackle.

"At this time, we would like the Forks and Sequim starters to move to the center of the field. Forks and Sequim starters, to the center of the field."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, and I begin a slow jog over to my team standing at the sideline. A hand slaps onto my back and pushes my shoulder. Taylor turns me towards her, and pointing at her eyes with two fingers, she points them slowly down at the field. Focus, she mouths.

I nod.

My team and our opponents form two perfectly filed lines and move up on either side of the midfield line, our steps in sync as we walk behind the yellow-clad referees. We all spread out diagonally, hands folded behind our backs and our stances wide.

"And now, for your Forks High School starters."

There's a large round of applause, and I look down at the field as I wait to hear my name ring out overhead.

Number One. Junior. Amanda McDowell.

Number Two. Senior. Kelsey Garcia-Martinez.

Number Three. Senior. Danielle Hogan.

Number Four. Junior. Erica Philips.

After having played so many games, I have our roster call glued to the front of my mind. I find myself saying it mentally with the announcer as he moves down the list of girls on our team. As he reaches my number, my shoulders stiffen but I continue to stare down at the ground.

"Number Five, Sophomore, Sophie Swan!"

I cringe a little at the unnecessary emphasis on my year, but I'm quickly jolted from whatever daze I'm in by an extremely loud 'Woo!' bellowing out from somewhere out in the stands. My eyes widen until I'm sure they're two large saucers on my face, and my head snaps up to look over the audience. What in the world?

With two hands cupped around his mouth, Seth is standing up in the row in front of Bella and Dad despite being amongst an entirely seated crowd. One of his arms falls to his side as the other thrusts up in the air, his fist punching up at the sky in a grand display of support.

A girl I don't recognize is sitting next to him; her hands palmed over her face in mortification. She launches one of them up and grabs his arm, aggressively yanking him right back down into his seat. Undeterred, he waves a flailing arm at me as I stand next to my teammates.

In a grossly uncharacteristic move, my own hand lifts up without a second thought and I wave back.

The next ninety minutes are both the fastest and the slowest of my life, but in the blink of an eye, the game is over. The screams and chants of my entire team fill my ears as girls point up at the scoreboard: 3-2.

We won. Forks High has qualified to move onto Regionals.

I don't yell, I don't jump up and down, I don't join in on the chant as we gather together in a sweaty, dirt-covered, slightly rain-damp huddled mass. My whole body seems to have gone into shock at the news, my mind unable to comprehend that this has actually happened.

We're one step closer to States. Two steps away from Nationals. It all sinks in for me in a breathless, sucker-punched sort of way, making me feel so dizzy at the prospect I think I might puke.

We won. We won, we won, we won. And despite our high school's luck, at this moment, I feel like we might be able to do it again.

The team moves over to the benches, but I look over among throngs of people and see Dad's face. In a split second, I make a decision I'm not sure I'd make if I didn't feel so out of my mind.

"Hey," I say to Taylor, keeping my voice low. "I'll be right back."

Eyebrows furrowed, she looks at me questioningly before doing a double-take between myself and the stands. Hesitantly, she nods. "Make it fast."

I nearly trip over myself as I walk briskly to the other side of the bleachers, my wrists wringing by my sides as I try to keep out of Coach's line of view. I should definitely be sitting with my teammates, patiently awaiting a postgame chat – I blame my quick retreat on the fact that I'm almost certain my brain has been replaced by a batch of scrambled eggs.

Crowds of students and their families move around me as I maneuver my way through, searching for the familiar faces I know are hidden somewhere in the mix. Come on, I think. Where are you guys?

The minute the thought arises, I see Dad gently and expertly push past an older couple as the others follow behind. His eyes light up when he sees me, and his arms extend out in front of him. "There she is!" he boasts. "That's my girl!"

I practically fall into his chest, my heart beating a million miles per hour as I burrow myself underneath his chin. He pulls me into a fierce hug, and pressed against his uniform jacket, my eyes remain wide-open and moony in shock at the turnout. I feel a kiss press against the top of my head, and I look up at him. "You sure know how to make this old man proud, Sophie."

My face grows hot. "Da-ad."

"You're gonna take the damn compliment, kid. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you out there."

Dad relinquishes me from his hold, and my eyes flicker over to Bella and Edward, Seth and the mystery girl alongside him. I don't know who to talk to first, my senses overstimulated with all of the commotion, but Bella moves first and pulls me into a hug of her own. "So…not going to lie, I'm not really sure what was going on until everyone started cheering. But I watched you the entire time, Soph."

I roll my eyes fondly at her, bumping her shoulder as Edward sends me an appreciative nod. "I did mention kicking the shit out of things is a big part of the job, right?" I blurt out jokingly, wiping my forehead.

"Sophie, language," Dad chastises, looking appalled at my word choice. I let out a tired laugh.

Edward takes it on the chin, and he gives me a smile. "I think I remember you saying something along those lines," he replies. "And a job done beautifully. Although I don't think my explanations throughout the game helped your sister very much, I was very impressed."

"Thanks. And I'm sure that Bella will, uh, reward your good efforts at the library later. Right, Bells?"

I turn on my heel just in enough time to ignore her pointed look, and finally, I'm face to face with Seth and the stranger. He looks absolutely thrilled, smiling with all of those bright, white teeth of his, and he shakes his head at me in disbelief. "Holy moly, girl!" he exclaims loudly. "That was…wow."

There's a slight moment of feet-shuffling for us both, and it leaves my cheeks burning red-hot. His hand is lifted up and I assume he's attempting for a high-five, but to my surprise, he gives me a quick hug. My arm winds up pressed awkwardly against his shoulder and I can't exactly return the contact.

"O-Oh, sorry."

"Whoops-"

"I didn't think you were gonna-"

"Yup, definitely misread the cue."

God.

I pray to anyone listening that nobody else is watching this extremely awkward back and forth as I lean away. Seth moves to rub the back of his neck, and he shakes his head again. "Yikes. Sorry about that," he laughs embarrassedly. He side steps over next to the girl, who I notice looks a lot more familiar now that she's up close.

She also looks like she'd rather be anywhere else, but he doesn't seem to pay much heed to it.

"So, um, I kind of realized just as I was about to leave my house that I didn't have a ride…? That's why I got here at the last minute. I was scared for a second there that you were gonna think I bailed."

"Gosh, don't even worry about it. I was so focused I, uh, I didn't even notice," I say dismissively, realizing he has no way of knowing his words definitely gives me some consolation. I have no plans to tell him that's exactly what I thought happened when I didn't see him out there in the stands, and more importantly, I will certainly be keeping the fact that perhaps, I'd felt a little disappointed when I hadn't, all to myself.

He dramatically wipes his brow, grinning all the while. "Okay! That's a relief. It was a mad-dash, so by the time I got here I just didn't want to bring any attention to myself."

I blink as I perfectly recall the cheer he'd let out during my roster callup. "Yeah. Totally discreet," I chuckle.

We stand there in silence for a moment before Seth seems to remember his counterpart, and he motions to the girl as she tucks her folded arms closer into her chest. "Oh! This is my sister, Leah, by the way. She totally saved the day."

"Glad you finally remembered there was a third person standing here, Seth," she says briskly. His grin twitches, but he merely gives her a rough pat on the arm and turns to look at her.

"Leah, this is Sophie. Soccer superstar, obviously."

I give her a weak wave, but her face is completely blank. "My baby brother's apparently forgetting to mention that the only reason why I'm here is because I caught him trying to steal my car to come to this," she snipes at him. "Not to mention I've been hearing the name 'Sophie Swan' at every possible waking minute in the last week-"

"Oh-kay, Leah, thank you!" Seth interrupts loudly, looking a little panicked. I have half a dozen questions circling my brain, but I say none of them as he sends an unsubtle shove to her side. He glances at me and sends me a confused smile that's too good to be true, blinking as if she's said something crazy and drawing his finger in a loop next to his temple. Not true, he mouths incredulously, sending her a cautious side-eye.

Dad seems to find all of this highly amusing as he looks at us, eyes darting between Seth and me and keeping quiet. "We should…we should celebrate. This is a big day for you kid, how about…" he sends a look over at Bella, and a less-excited one to Edward. "Ice cream sounds good to everybody? Sully's?"

Bella shoots a look at Edward, and then an apologetic one to me. "We, uh, actually have to get started on our project, Dad," she fibs. "But we can do something next weekend? Just you and me, Sophie?"

It must've been years since Bella and I actually did anything together, just the two of us, that didn't relate to our recent drives to school and maybe a few trips to the 7-11 to get slushies down in Phoenix when I came to visit. The idea immediately gives me a swell of something hopeful, something that tells me, that's bonding. Like sisters. She wants to bond, she wants to spend time with me. "Yes," I say immediately, my response verging on too-quick. "No, yeah. That'd be great, we can...we can do that."

Don't make it weird, Jake's words from the day Bella arrived in Forks come back to haunt me.

She gives me an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder as she takes a few steps back, ready to make her exit. Edward nods gracefully at me again, his expression friendly. I wave them off as they head out to do…science, my mind sarcastically supplies, and Dad, Seth, Seth's sister and I stand there and don't say anything at all.

In the back of my head, I know I should definitely tell them I need to head back to my team. I told Taylor I'd make this quick and I have a distinct feeling I'm cutting it close – we always do our postgame chats immediately after the stands clear, and I'm not sure how much longer I'm able to hang around without my absence becoming noticeable. Coach certainly wouldn't be very happy about that, and that thought alone makes my stomach twist all over again.

Dad looks between us again and fumbles to reach for his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and thumbs out a few bills. "Here," he says, his mustache furrowed as he hands me a twenty. "I should, uh, probably get back down to the station, it's gonna be another long night. You all take yourselves out for…er, ice cream or pizza or burgers or something."

"Oh…" I start. "I think I need to-"

"Leah can drive!"

I look at Seth in surprise, but he licks his nips nervously and looks back at me sheepishly. "I mean, just if…unless you don't want to? Or if you're busy. I can wait, it's not like I have any plans. Zero, actually."

Leah lets out a groan.

My instincts tell me to decline. There's a mantra of soccer, Coach, soccer circling the forefront of my mind; I really can't afford to keep anyone waiting - I don't know how it will come across if I just leave without any proper dismissal, I will be doing myself very few favors, especially after a game as big a deal as this one.

But despite what I know intellectually, there's a little voice urging me forward. Go. You know you want to, so just go. What's the worst that'll happen?

"No, um," I say finally, nodding in agreement and feeling a little queasy at what I'm about to do. "Yeah, that'd be…cool."

"Cool!"

"Yeah, cool."

"Awesome."

Leah sighs, sounding distinctly put out by these sudden plans. She snatches her keys from her pocket and lets out another grievous breath, shooting her brother a look that I can only interpret as one that says, 'you owe me big time.'

"Let's get out of here," she says to no one in particular, spinning on her heel. "Guess I'm playing chauffeur and babysitter, tonight."

Sully's Drive-In is the exact sort of place you imagine exists in a town as small as Forks.

Completely untouched by time with an aging, yellow fluorescent sign and a large Pepsi billboard stapled tactfully on the shingled roof, it's something of a local icon – it's seen hundreds of birthday parties, first dates, family outings, and school fundraisers over the last sixty years it's been here, and it wears every year of it.

Dad has taken me here for nearly every slightly momentous occasion in my life – team wins, team losses, the time I'd won a math marathon in the fifth grade, my braces coming off last year. I barely look at the wood-paneled walls as the three of us walk inside having committed the interior to memory, and subconsciously, I walk us to the small red booth in the corner Dad and I always sit in.

"Wow," Seth says to me for seemingly the millionth time since we departed from Forks High in Leah's Volkswagen beater. "I know I keep saying it, but…that was seriously so fun to watch. I mean I knew you'd be really good, so I don't really know what I was expecting. Still, it definitely wasn't that."

My cheeks flush at the continuous compliments as I sit across from Seth and Leah, my hands repeatedly smoothing my shorts out with my hands. It occurs to me that I didn't even shower before making my hasty escape from the field, wet grass still coating my cleats and my elbows smudged with dirt from a tackle I made in the last half.

I try to subtly swipe at my hair knowing I look disheveled, and I clamor out of the booth. "Do you guys want anything? It's on me- or my dad, I guess, since he's sort of paying for this and everything-"

"-The most ridiculously large, most expensive chocolate milkshake they have on the menu," Leah interrupts brashly, leaning back against the red vinyl and staring anywhere else but at me. "And then ask them to add more chocolate on top anyway. Practically syrup at that point, chocolatey until it's disgusting. And also tack on a side of hot fudge."

"Leah," Seth says through gritted teeth, glaring at her fiercely. "Don't be rude."

"Consider it repayment for my services. You didn't think this was all gonna be free, did you, baby brother?"

Tense silence falls between them, and they stare at each other with unspoken conversation in their eyes I don't understand. Feeling like a voyeur to an argument I'm sure I shouldn't be witnessing, I jut a thumb out at the corner. "I'm just gonna…yeah-"

"Wait," Seth says, scrambling over his sister to slide out from his seat. "I'll help. Like, carry everything over and stuff."

"Sure."

We walk over to the line, and I glance up at the old, yellowing menu board overhead. My mouth waters at the idea of ordering my usual- raspberry ripple with extra rainbow sprinkles, and I shift my feet in anticipation as I envision myself digging into the sweet, creamy goodness of-

'Maybe lay off the dessert at dinner, alright?'

I've been carefully analyzing every single thing I eat since that meeting, especially after enchilada night. My brain has been stubbornly refuting anything that looks rich and full of ingredients that'll weigh me down and slow me up. A part of me thinks, I've been so good lately. It's a celebration. It's one tiny treat, and you deserve it.

It's only the reminder of rough, warm fingers grabbing at me and pulling at my soft, fleshy side that stills me, feeling like a hot prod has been stuck right into my spine. The craving for anything at all disappears in an instant, replaced with a sudden nauseous feeling as my eyes wander over all fifty flavors. My hand moves to my waist unconsciously, and I shift the weight in my stance.

"Sorry about Leah," Seth says bashfully and effectively putting a stop to my internal debate. Sending a knowing look back to our occupied booth, he offers an apologetic grin. "Remember how I said breakups are hard? This is kinda the end result, I guess. Big sisters, am I right?"

I wouldn't really know. Bella and I's bickering is largely resigned to childhood memories now, fights over stupid things like last juice boxes and missing Polly Pocket accessories lost to the past. As her visits to Forks and my visits to Phoenix grew fewer and far between, the two weeks out of the year we'd spend together could only ever leave me with the small, bittersweet tastes of the sisterhood we should've had.

Could've had.

Seth and Leah's uncomfortable exchange seems to serve as an obvious reminder that Bella and I aren't like them, that we're not like most siblings at all. I don't admit it to myself, but the fact that I can't relate almost makes me a little sad.

"Big sisters," I agree simply.

We approach the counter and I relay the most horrendous, chocolate-fudge-brownie-milkshake per Leah's request, and look to Seth to make his order. "You go first," he insists. "Leah's mess is more than enough, I'm all good."

"Oh no, you go. Get anything you want, really," I push. His face twists indecisively, his expression a little guilty. "I'm serious."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Why don't you just order first, and then I'll go-"

"Seth," I say impatiently, my neck prickling in embarrassment. "Please just order."

He gives me a skeptical look, but he asks for two scoops of cookies and cream and steps away. Before he can say anything else, I hand the twenty to the server and tell her that'll be all. The woman turns away, and I sidestep next to Seth as we wait.

"What the heck?" Seth asks, tone incredulous. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

His shoulders droop into a sulk, and he looks put out. "You didn't get anything for yourself," he says. I let out a light laugh and shake my head, wrinkling my nose. "Yeah, I'm just…I'm not a big dessert-before-dinner kinda person, y'know?"

"Well they have real food and stuff here, right?" he glances at the two five-dollar bills in my hand, and he shoves a hand into his pocket to pull out a crumpled ten. "'Cause if you're hungry, I mean, I do still owe you ten bucks-"

"Oh, Seth, I'm really fine-"

"No, no. A bet's a bet, and you should get something."

I bite the inside of my cheek and try to suppress a flare of unease. "I don't really have much of an appetite right now. The post-game adrenaline drain totally turns my stomach into knots," I assure quickly, my mouth lifted into what I hope is a convincing smile.

It must not be, because Seth still looks just as conflicted as he did a moment ago. I wrack my brain for some way to divert the conversation, a way to lift the mood since my own stubbornness appears to have put a serious damper on the celebratory atmosphere. Without a second thought, I reach toward his hand and pull the crumpled bill out from his palm.

That same, sharp pinprick from our first time meeting sends a zap through my fingertips at the brief contact, but it happens so fast I only just notice it. Feeling too proud of my own quick thinking anyway, my lips curl mischievously - Seth blinks in confusion, looking down at his empty hand and then back to me.

"But I will take the ten, thank you very much," I say, my voice a little smug. I pull at the ten with both hands and snap it back, tilting my head to the side as I carefully assess it. "A bet's a bet, right? I mean, you might 'forget' your wallet again."

It takes a moment for Seth to catch up to my underlying implication, but once he does, I watch as a ruddy rose color flushes all the way up to his neck and to the very top of his ears. His mouth falls into a surprised o-shape, and I can't help but feel vindicated now that he knows I know.

His eyes flicker between mine and then back to the floor, searching for any sign that he's in trouble. Seeing none, his teeth gleam as he narrows his eyes playfully, letting out a short chuckle. "We're at 15-9."

What? "15-9?"

"C'mon, Varsity, you mean to tell me you haven't been keeping score? Soccer, tic-tac-toe, literally two seconds ago…seems like I'm just gonna have to get used to you pulling one on me if we keep hanging out, aren't I?"

My brain lags as I try to make sense of his tone- he says it so casually, like nothing about this trip to Sully's is out of the ordinary and we've been doing it forever despite it being the third time we've seen each other in person. The words 'keep hanging out' ring right in the front of my mind, and my tongue twists as I fumble to find something to say.

The sound of a bell startles me, and a milkshake that looks like wet mud sits beside a small cup of ice cream on the counter. Seth reaches over to grab his and Leah's dessert. "Sucks for you, I guess," he tells me, sounding a little pleased. "I've been told I'm pretty persistent, so I guess I'm just gonna have to keep trying until I finally win something for once."

"You sound awfully confident for someone with your track record," I blurt out honestly.

He shrugs, and he smiles brightly. I realize he has a small dimple on the left corner of his mouth I didn't notice before.

"What can I say? I told you, I'm an optimist."

A/N: Hello everyone! Chapter 7 is up - I've been in the pattern of uploading two chapters at a time, but I'm hoping uploading one will be enough since it's pretty long. Can't wait to see all of your thoughts, and I want to give a special shoutout to two of my reviewers, Hyacinthed and sallymadrigal605, for leaving me such wonderful, introspective reviews! I absolutely love seeing what y'all have to say, and I hope you keep letting me know what you think. Lots of love xoxo!