Yaoi warning: Um, yeah, aren't the words 'yaoi warning' enough for you guys?
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… but I had Kakashi tied up in my room… for about two seconds… then he escaped, dammit…
Ramen – the most original chapter title ever…
It was huge. It was delicious. It was full of noodles. Yes folks, it was a giant bowl of ramen. And there were two men in it.
Sasuke walked out of the Ichiraku ramen restaurant, humming. He was very pleased with himself. This was one anniversary present Naruto would never forget.
He hurried home and prepared the dining room, lighting a few candles and setting the table. There was a knock at the door. Sasuke ran to answer it. Outside there were some men with a huge bowl. They somehow managed to squeeze the bowl through the door, a pretty amazing feat considering it was the size of a small swimming pool. Then they filled it with ramen.
Once the ramen men were gone, Sasuke hurried to change into a loose black shirt and pants. He checked his appearance in a mirror. Sasuke smirked. He looked damn good, if he did say so himself. Then he waited impatiently, pacing across the room again and again.
Finally, there was another knock on the door. Sasuke quickly opened it to reveal Naruto, wearing something that wasn't orange for a change. Naruto walked in and gave Sasuke a quick kiss. "So what's this big surprise you've been hinting at for so long?"
Sasuke led Naruto toward the dining room. "Come and see"
As soon as they walked through the doorway, Naruto gasped. "Oh my god! Is that a giant bowl of ramen! Is it!" He wriggled with joy. "I must have died and gone to heaven!"
Naruto immediately stripped off all his clothes and dove into the bowl. Sasuke frowned. Naruto was swimming in their dinner.
Somewhere in another universe:
Naruto ducked under the surface. There was a noise similar to that of bathwater being sucked down a drain. Slowly all the ramen disappeared. A very bloated Naruto lay at the bottom of the bowl.
Naruto surfaced, squirting some ramen broth out of his mouth like a whale, and lay back against the side of the bowl, sighing in contentment. "I always wanted to do this"
Sasuke suddenly became aware that he was hard. He decided to forget about dinner and join Naruto in the ramen bowl.
Naruto looked at Sasuke as he entered the bowl. He had just enough time to register the predatory look on Sasuke's face before the brunette began to molest him.
Naruto squeaked as Sasuke pressed himself against the blonde and all but shoved his tongue down his throat. Naruto struggled for a second and then realised that, hey, Sasuke tasted like ramen!
He pushed Sasuke back against the side of the bowl and began licking him hungrily. Sasuke moaned in pleasure. Something in Naruto's body responded eagerly to the noises Sasuke was making. That something was, to be precise, the little dude downstairs. It impatiently informed Naruto that it wanted to come out and play.
In one swift move, Naruto turned Sasuke around, pushed him back against the side of the bowl, and thrust himself into the smaller man. Then, as if in slow motion, they both slipped and fell with a splash into the broth.
Sasuke spluttered indignantly as Naruto simply propped him back up against the side of the bowl and continued thrusting as though nothing had happened. "What the – nnnnn – hell was that for?"
"It's what you wanted, isn't it?" panted Naruto. "Just shut up and enjoy it"
Sasuke muttered something about what he'd had planned involving Naruto pressed against the side of the bowl. Then he gave in and shut up.
Naruto got in a few more thrusts before he came, calling out Sasuke's name. Sasuke followed him not long after.
They lay panting against the side of the bowl. Eventually, Naruto pulled out of Sasuke. They climbed out of the bowl.
Sasuke stared glumly at the ramen. "I think dinner is ruined…"
This is some really weird stuff I'm writing. It just came into my head one day, so, naturally, I just had to write it.
My thanks to White Alchemist Taya for inventing the 'little dude'.
The 'Somewhere in another universe' is my way of expressing a blooper that popped up in my head. It has absolutely nothing to do with the main story.
And yes, Sasuke did actually plan what was supposed to be a simple candle-lit dinner, with maybe sex afterward. Not sex in the dinner. I think they'll have to call for take-out…