Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters . . . yeah, so that's
all.
Author's Note: Well folks, I can't say this chapter is 'on the edge of your seat' fantastic, but hopefully it'll be entertaining enough for all of you. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Readings!
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How It Used To Be
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I started trembling. My mind was racing, and yet it was still. I simply stared at Kai with wide eyes and an open mouth, feeling my body shake, and listening to his words play over and over in my mind like a broken record. Kevin and Gary . . . dead? It couldn't be, it didn't make sense!
I felt my lips trying to form words, but my voice offered it no aid. Suddenly, it felt as though I had flown out of my quivering body and was watching it from some place far above. I was watching as tears formed in my body's eyes and slowly spilled over its cheeks, as its hands came up to act as a stand for its bowed head.
How odd it all seemed. I wanted to reach out to myself and tell me that it was going to be okay, but I couldn't seem to get close enough. I couldn't seem to get myself back inside. I started to cry too then, fearing for myself, and for my mind, fearing for my friends, and mourning the lives of the treasured lost.
Gradually, I felt as though I was being tugged back, and that departed feeling I had had, was no longer there. I was me, Rei, in my body, and I was crying my eyes out, while my soul wept within me.
It was at that moment that I felt a certain warmth surround me. It was a familiar sort of warmth, yet it seemed altered in some way; however, it didn't matter terribly, for it felt good. I pressed myself into that warmth and continued sobbing.
A voice, Kai's voice, whispered soothing nonsense phrases, and surprisingly that softness in his tone gradually began to calm me down until my tears had tapered off, leaving my skin feeling dry and my eyes feeling puffy.
I had entered the stage of simple dry heaving, and he was still speaking to me. He spoke to me when my eyes began to sting and as my head began to seem unimaginably heavy. Soon, his easy voice seemed to encompass my being, and it was all I knew, just that soothing sound, and the gentle swaying as he held me in his arms, blanketing me with his comforting warmth.
I am not certain when I fell asleep.
I know only that I woke up to a cool hand running over my brow. My first instinct was to panic, for I had woken up to hands like that only once before, and that hadn't gone well. However, I calmed myself down as I recognized the familiar scent of lilac. It was faint, yet distinct in the person it pertained to.
Slowly, I opened my eyes and found myself looking at the tear-streaked face of Mariah. Indeed, that scent had been her perfume. I recalled the days when my room had had smelled the same way. Always she had had a strange obsession with lilacs.
"Hey Rei," she said softly, her voice cracking despite it.
I slowly pulled myself up to a sitting position, trying to ignore my throbbing head and the many other pains in the rest of my body. It was then that I noticed that I was in my bed. I supposed Kai had put me there.
Kai. He had been the one to hold me. His voice was the lullaby that I'd fallen asleep to, and he was the one whose warmth I had relaxed into.
Suddenly, I felt cold and much to my dismay, I realized that I wanted that warmth again, for it had been pure, and I had never been held quite like that. I wasn't certain what those feelings meant, and that fact frightened me a little.
"Rei?" Mariah summoned.
I gently shook my head before turning to look at her. She had obviously been crying too. Her hair was freed of that bow she always wore, and it hung limply around her as though it were affected by her mood.
Her eyes could only be described as forlorn looking, for that familiar spark of resilience was not present within them. She was pale and tired looking, almost aged, and I felt for her.
Without any second thoughts, I leaned forward and enveloped her in a firm hug, which she returned. Moments later she began to shutter slightly, and my shirt became somewhat damp from the hot tears that fell from her eyes. I could only hug her tighter and bite my lip to keep from following her example. I had already cried, and it was time for me to be strong.
It was quiet save for Mariah's soft sobbing, and we did not alter our positions for some time. Eventually though, I was alerted to someone standing in the doorway. I recognized him as Lee. We allowed sad smiles to act as greetings between us.
"How do you feel, Rei?" Lee asked cautiously. His voice, usually so strong and confident, sounded strained.
Mariah gently pulled away from me and turned to face her lover. She wiped at her eyes and then looked to me, she too waiting for an answer.
I shrugged. "I don't know," I answered truthfully. Two of our childhood friends were dead, and he was asking me how I was?
"How are you?" I asked, and inside of me a little voice called me a hypocrite. Well, two of our childhood friends were dead. What else WAS there to say?
Lee and Mariah both shrugged. I nodded, a simple bobbing of my head, as silence enveloped the room. The three of us just stared at one another and yet so many times we tried NOT to stare at each other, for it seemed awkward. It shouldn't have, but death was awkward, and I was beginning to feel surrounded by it.
Ah, dear, dear fragile silence.
"I . . . got the call earlier," Mariah started, voice only above a whisper.
I looked up at her, pushing back a few strands of dark hair from my eyes. "Do you know how it happened?" I asked.
I held Mariah's gaze for only a moment before she jerked her head away and stared at the floor with something of a hateful vengeance. "They . . . they were coming back, Rei. They were on break from school . . . and . . . and . . ." Mariah's words trailed off as she began crying again.
I heard Lee sigh softly, and I directed my attention toward him. Unshed tears brimmed his eyes, but he wiped them away with his sleeve.
"They were on break from school, and they were coming back here to catch up . . . since we'd all lost touch when they left. They came by ship, and it docked two weeks ago. A couple walking late last night . . ." Lee trailed off, chewing on his lip and fighting off tears. It was a battle that he lost, for soon steady streams of salty wetness began a path down his cheeks. That time, he made no move to wipe them away.
With a deep breath, he tried to continue, but his voice was shaky and weak as he spoke. "A couple walking last night, they uh . . . found their . . . their bodies in an alley with cuts . . . broken necks. . ."
I couldn't suppress a gasp.
Mariah began crying harder and mumbling incoherent things. Immediately, Lee was at her side, holding her close, attempting to sooth her while he too cried silently. That cold feeling washed over me again. I wanted that warmth that had comforted me before, for my friends were dead . . . they had been MURDERED.
We all stayed in my room for another hour or so, going in cycles of crying and stale, bitter silence. Somehow we decided to leave the room, and we gravitated toward the kitchen where I made us all a cup of tea.
"Do they know anything?" I asked as I took a seat across from Lee.
He shook his head sullenly. "Not really."
Mariah sniffled, drawing our attention toward her. "They should be able to. With all of their technology they should be able to!" She exclaimed bitterly.
I gave a sad, sympathetic smile. "I know, but they're probably trying and-- "
She looked up at me sharply. "I want what ever bastard who did that to them to die," she said.
Her voice had an edge to it that caused a shiver to run down my spine.
"Calm down Mariah," Lee started. "Remember what the Elders always said about wishing such thing upon others."
Her fierce gaze left me and traveled to Lee. "Screw the Elders and EVERYTHING they said! All of their wise words didn't help Kevin and Gary in the end!" She exclaimed.
"Mariah, calm down," I said almost timidly.
Once again I was forced to shrink away slightly as her gaze doubled back to scathe me.
"I will not be calm about this. If the police can't figure out who did it-- "
"But it's only been a day!" I countered.
She ignored my protest.
"Then I'LL find out."
"Please, just let the police try and handle it, Mariah. If they can't figure it out, what good could you do?" Lee asked.
I regarded his support with relief. Mariah was a menace to society when she took that attitude.
"I'm a neko-jin, we all are, and we know our kin. Back in the village we took care of one another. We exacted revenge when wrongs were committed. What makes the city any different?" Mariah asked.
"It's more dangerous here," I said softly.
She scoffed. "I don't care. The police can do as they wish, but I'm GOING to find out who murdered them, and then . . ." Mariah did not finish her sentence, but she bared her fangs slightly, set Lee and I with a firm glare, and headed toward the apartment door. "I'll be waiting in the car, Lee," she said right before she slammed the door behind her.
I winced as the discordant sound split the air.
"I hope that the police figure it out before she does," I said.
Lee nodded. "I'm afraid that she is less than logical right now."
I nodded that time.
Lee sighed as he stood up. "Listen, Rei, I had better get down their. Maybe I can smooth things over with her, and try and convince her to stop being so . . . brash."
I stood as well and went to embrace him. We hugged briefly before releasing. He gave me a morose smile before exiting the apartment. It was quiet again, and I merely stared at the door for a long time just listening to my thoughts.
I had been attacked, killed someone, my friends were dead, and I was feeling unfamiliar things for one, Kai Hiwatari.
I wondered where he had gone, or when he had left the apartment. It was odd. Usually, I was happy if I woke up and he wasn't there, but at that point, I wanted nothing more than to wake up to the sight of his lovely face. Once again I felt the coldness inhabiting my body like an empty spirit, and I shivered despite myself.
Kai. Where was he? Why did I care? Why did I want him to be with me? Why did I miss him so much?
'I need a nap . . . no, I don't, I just took one. I need coffee . . . no, I just had tea. I need, I need . . .' I thought desperately.
I thought for a moment longer. "I need a drink," I mumbled decisively.
I thought once again. "And someone to drink with," I added.
It was clear to me then what I needed to do. With a sigh, I walked to the door, opened it, closed it, and walked down the hallway toward the elevator.
I kept my head bowed, gazing at the floor as if it would answer every spinning question in my mind. It didn't, but that made sense. Carpeting isn't a therapist. Everyone knows that.
I quickened my pace ever so slightly as the elderly Mrs. Kerry came waltzing out of her apartment, the leash of her tiny, white, puffy bichon held in her aged, wrinkly hands. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her small body stiffen beneath the light jacket that she wore. She stared at me with dark brown eyes, watching my every step suspiciously as though she expected me turn around and . . .I don't know . . . kick Ms. Sweetums out of the far window. That was nonsense anyway. I'm much better at throwing than kicking.
I sighed as I walked passed her and lifted my head just enough to give her a small smile. I wasn't going to give her anymore of a reason to hate me now. Oddly, she used to think I was 'such a nice young man'.
Mrs. Kerry didn't bat an eyelash. She just continued to stare at me.
I tried to ignore her as I finally made it to the elevator. Stepping in and pressing the correct button, I looked out just in time to see Mrs. Kerry and Ms. Sweetums take the stairs to the lobby. The doors closed after I witnessed that very distinct message, and I was left alone to feel the vibrations of the metal box as it shook to life and began a steady descent downward.
My eyes watched the floor numbers light up and go out. I was quite pleased that no one needed the elevator. I wasn't much in the mood for being cramped inside a shiny metal box with ten other people.
An eternity of my life had passed (I was almost sure anyway) when the elevator got to the lobby. The doors slid open, and I stepped out. I glanced around the lobby, noticing with a bit of bitter humor that there was a new doorman. He didn't look much older than the other young doorman was, but he had sharp, dark green eyes and a shock of black hair that was about the same color as mine. He held an air of confidence about himself, maybe a little arrogance. Probably he acted like a real bad ass, but I didn't have the same 'nonchalant, I don't really give a damn' impression of him that I had had of the last guy.
I sighed and shrugged as I walked up to him.
"Excuse me," I started.
He eyed me carefully before letting a small half smile onto his thin lips. "Yes, sir? Can I help you?" He asked.
Well, he seemed nice enough. "Uh, yeah. Actually, I was wondering, do you know if Sam is going to be on duty any time soon?"
He shook his head easily. "Hm, no I've got guard for the next three hours," he said.
I nodded. "Oh. Okay, thanks."
I turned to walk away. Maybe I'd go and see if I could scare more people while I walked down the hallway to my apartment.
I'm really such an imposing fellow, you know.
"Wait," called the doorman.
I turned around, regarding him with a curious stare.
He seemed to stare at me for a moment, as though he were sizing me up. After a moment he came to some sort of decision within himself, and he nodded. I just stood there and looked confused.
"Are you Kon?" He asked.
I was surprised. "Um, yeah." I said.
"I didn't think I'd see you, but Sam seemed to think you'd be around. Anyway, he says that he's at home, and that you should drop by."
I tilted my head to the side. "He did?"
The young man raised a thick black eyebrow at me. "Yeah."
"Okay, um, thanks."
He shrugged and smiled a little. "Sure, no problem."
He ceased looking in my direction after that and went back to forming an active search pattern all around the room with his vulpine like eyes.
I turned back around and changed my plans of frightening my neighbors to having a nice visit with Sam, which was what I had wanted in the first place.
I slowly made my way to the back of the lobby to where a simple oak door was. I turned the brass knob and entered. The hallway that was in front of me was nothing special. In fact, it was below 'nothing special', for it was simply a cemented tunnel painted over from floor to ceiling with slate blue, chipping paint. Pipes, also painted slate blue, adorned the ceiling, and above the pipes was a consistent line of flickering florescent lights.
I traveled the moderately long corridor, merely listening to the sound of my footsteps, and those annoying voices in my head. They ran around in circles in my mind, yelling things about murder and death . . . things about Kai. I could only listen to them, for I had nothing else to do.
The end of the hall way came to an abrupt halt, and I found myself facing yet another hallway, only this one was horizontal. This hall was far more suitable than the previous one; for it had dark carpeting in a design akin to paisley, and its walls were painted some shade of dark green that blended well with the colors of the carpeting. The hall would have been quite dark were it not for the intricate light fixtures on the ceiling that gave off a warm, orange glow.
Along the dim hall, spanning in both directions, were shiny oak doors with gleaming brass knobs. They were storage rooms mostly, but sometimes they were used for people working part time at the building.
If I moved to the left, I would eventually come to a wrought iron staircase spiraling upward. That staircase would lead me to the landlord's home. I chose to go right, however, and soon came to a door near the end of the corridor. I knew it well, and I knocked lightly upon its polished surface.
"It's open!" Came the muffled reply.
I turned the knob and pushed the door open. Sam smiled as I closed the door behind me.
"Hello, Rei," He said.
I smiled easily. "Hello, Sam."
Sam's apartment was simple. It consisted of a large living space where in an entertainment center sat against one wall, and a couch with side tables on either side faced toward it. Behind the couch, a fair distance away, was a dining table with four chairs, and on the wall behind it was a well- stocked bookshelf. There was a door way in the wall behind the table that would lead to a kitchen, and behind the kitchen would be yet another door way. That doorway would lead to a hallway that led to the bathroom, a storage room, and Sam's bedroom.
"Come on in, sit down, make yourself comfortable," Sam said, motioning toward me with his hands. He sat comfortably on the couch, and I joined him there.
"So, I take it that Sota gave you my little message?"
I nodded. "Yes. So, his name is Sota, then?"
"Ah, yes. And don't worry about him, Rei. I interviewed him myself. He's a good lad. Young, confident, a little cocky, but he has a good work ethic. He's nothing like that other boy. You know, I told Mrs. Nebbs that she should have had me interview him before she gave him the job. 'Coarse, she gave me a wave of the hand. He was her nephew, you know, and she just didn't seem to think he could do any wrong."
"I see. Well, Mrs. Nebbs doesn't think SHE can do anything wrong either. I wonder if all Land Lords are like that."
Sam smiled slightly. "If only her husband wasn't having so many health problems. I remember back when he was just as sturdy as any horse. You'd have liked him, Rei. He was a good man."
"I'm sure he was. I met their daughter once, she seemed kindly enough."
"Oh, she's a beautiful girl, and the smartest little thing you'll find around, though I hear she's got a mouth like a whip that's gotten her into a bit of trouble every now and then."
I nodded. I had heard such things as well.
"How about something to drink?" Sam asked, already standing up.
It seemed he had the uncanny ability to read my mind.
"Sounds good," I said.
Sam disappeared into his kitchen, and I stayed put on the couch. It seemed odd. There I was, sitting in a friend's home, engaging in a perfectly normal, pleasant conversation, and beyond that door was a world where I had killed someone, where two of my best friends had been brutally murdered, and where people I cared about were mourning and worrying. I wondered what kind of person I had to be.
At about that time, Sam returned, carrying in his hands a bottle of brandy and two glasses. He motioned for me to join him at the dining table, and I did. As I sat down, he opened the bottle and poured the liquid into the glasses. He shoved one towards me and eyed me knowingly.
"You look a little like you could use a drink," he said.
I chuckled. "Well, that's half the reason I came here," I said.
Sam sat down across from me, holding his glass firmly, yet nonchalantly between his middle finger and thumb. He sipped the cool beverage. "And what's the other reason?" He inquired.
I took a longer drink from my glass. "Just . . . to get away, I guess."
He stared at me, not saying anything. I guess he knew I was going to say more.
I took another long drink, finishing off the glass.
"Two of my best friends since I was a little kid were murdered," I said softly.
I did not see reason for stalling.
Sam's expression grew darker and more thoughtful. I observed him as he began to open his mouth, probably to form familiar phrases such as, 'I'm so sorry' or 'that's terrible'. Instead, he closed his mouth, grabbed the brandy, and poured me another drink.
I looked at him a little surprised.
"Drink up, boy," he said. "Things will get worse before they get better, so you might as well be numb for now."
Sam's small smile and kindly expression betrayed his rough sounding words. His heart went out to me, I knew that much, but Sam knew what it was like to hear the same expression over and over again. He knew how mechanical and meaningless certain things began to sound. After all, he was a doorman.
Author's Note: Well folks, I can't say this chapter is 'on the edge of your seat' fantastic, but hopefully it'll be entertaining enough for all of you. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Readings!
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How It Used To Be
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I started trembling. My mind was racing, and yet it was still. I simply stared at Kai with wide eyes and an open mouth, feeling my body shake, and listening to his words play over and over in my mind like a broken record. Kevin and Gary . . . dead? It couldn't be, it didn't make sense!
I felt my lips trying to form words, but my voice offered it no aid. Suddenly, it felt as though I had flown out of my quivering body and was watching it from some place far above. I was watching as tears formed in my body's eyes and slowly spilled over its cheeks, as its hands came up to act as a stand for its bowed head.
How odd it all seemed. I wanted to reach out to myself and tell me that it was going to be okay, but I couldn't seem to get close enough. I couldn't seem to get myself back inside. I started to cry too then, fearing for myself, and for my mind, fearing for my friends, and mourning the lives of the treasured lost.
Gradually, I felt as though I was being tugged back, and that departed feeling I had had, was no longer there. I was me, Rei, in my body, and I was crying my eyes out, while my soul wept within me.
It was at that moment that I felt a certain warmth surround me. It was a familiar sort of warmth, yet it seemed altered in some way; however, it didn't matter terribly, for it felt good. I pressed myself into that warmth and continued sobbing.
A voice, Kai's voice, whispered soothing nonsense phrases, and surprisingly that softness in his tone gradually began to calm me down until my tears had tapered off, leaving my skin feeling dry and my eyes feeling puffy.
I had entered the stage of simple dry heaving, and he was still speaking to me. He spoke to me when my eyes began to sting and as my head began to seem unimaginably heavy. Soon, his easy voice seemed to encompass my being, and it was all I knew, just that soothing sound, and the gentle swaying as he held me in his arms, blanketing me with his comforting warmth.
I am not certain when I fell asleep.
I know only that I woke up to a cool hand running over my brow. My first instinct was to panic, for I had woken up to hands like that only once before, and that hadn't gone well. However, I calmed myself down as I recognized the familiar scent of lilac. It was faint, yet distinct in the person it pertained to.
Slowly, I opened my eyes and found myself looking at the tear-streaked face of Mariah. Indeed, that scent had been her perfume. I recalled the days when my room had had smelled the same way. Always she had had a strange obsession with lilacs.
"Hey Rei," she said softly, her voice cracking despite it.
I slowly pulled myself up to a sitting position, trying to ignore my throbbing head and the many other pains in the rest of my body. It was then that I noticed that I was in my bed. I supposed Kai had put me there.
Kai. He had been the one to hold me. His voice was the lullaby that I'd fallen asleep to, and he was the one whose warmth I had relaxed into.
Suddenly, I felt cold and much to my dismay, I realized that I wanted that warmth again, for it had been pure, and I had never been held quite like that. I wasn't certain what those feelings meant, and that fact frightened me a little.
"Rei?" Mariah summoned.
I gently shook my head before turning to look at her. She had obviously been crying too. Her hair was freed of that bow she always wore, and it hung limply around her as though it were affected by her mood.
Her eyes could only be described as forlorn looking, for that familiar spark of resilience was not present within them. She was pale and tired looking, almost aged, and I felt for her.
Without any second thoughts, I leaned forward and enveloped her in a firm hug, which she returned. Moments later she began to shutter slightly, and my shirt became somewhat damp from the hot tears that fell from her eyes. I could only hug her tighter and bite my lip to keep from following her example. I had already cried, and it was time for me to be strong.
It was quiet save for Mariah's soft sobbing, and we did not alter our positions for some time. Eventually though, I was alerted to someone standing in the doorway. I recognized him as Lee. We allowed sad smiles to act as greetings between us.
"How do you feel, Rei?" Lee asked cautiously. His voice, usually so strong and confident, sounded strained.
Mariah gently pulled away from me and turned to face her lover. She wiped at her eyes and then looked to me, she too waiting for an answer.
I shrugged. "I don't know," I answered truthfully. Two of our childhood friends were dead, and he was asking me how I was?
"How are you?" I asked, and inside of me a little voice called me a hypocrite. Well, two of our childhood friends were dead. What else WAS there to say?
Lee and Mariah both shrugged. I nodded, a simple bobbing of my head, as silence enveloped the room. The three of us just stared at one another and yet so many times we tried NOT to stare at each other, for it seemed awkward. It shouldn't have, but death was awkward, and I was beginning to feel surrounded by it.
Ah, dear, dear fragile silence.
"I . . . got the call earlier," Mariah started, voice only above a whisper.
I looked up at her, pushing back a few strands of dark hair from my eyes. "Do you know how it happened?" I asked.
I held Mariah's gaze for only a moment before she jerked her head away and stared at the floor with something of a hateful vengeance. "They . . . they were coming back, Rei. They were on break from school . . . and . . . and . . ." Mariah's words trailed off as she began crying again.
I heard Lee sigh softly, and I directed my attention toward him. Unshed tears brimmed his eyes, but he wiped them away with his sleeve.
"They were on break from school, and they were coming back here to catch up . . . since we'd all lost touch when they left. They came by ship, and it docked two weeks ago. A couple walking late last night . . ." Lee trailed off, chewing on his lip and fighting off tears. It was a battle that he lost, for soon steady streams of salty wetness began a path down his cheeks. That time, he made no move to wipe them away.
With a deep breath, he tried to continue, but his voice was shaky and weak as he spoke. "A couple walking last night, they uh . . . found their . . . their bodies in an alley with cuts . . . broken necks. . ."
I couldn't suppress a gasp.
Mariah began crying harder and mumbling incoherent things. Immediately, Lee was at her side, holding her close, attempting to sooth her while he too cried silently. That cold feeling washed over me again. I wanted that warmth that had comforted me before, for my friends were dead . . . they had been MURDERED.
We all stayed in my room for another hour or so, going in cycles of crying and stale, bitter silence. Somehow we decided to leave the room, and we gravitated toward the kitchen where I made us all a cup of tea.
"Do they know anything?" I asked as I took a seat across from Lee.
He shook his head sullenly. "Not really."
Mariah sniffled, drawing our attention toward her. "They should be able to. With all of their technology they should be able to!" She exclaimed bitterly.
I gave a sad, sympathetic smile. "I know, but they're probably trying and-- "
She looked up at me sharply. "I want what ever bastard who did that to them to die," she said.
Her voice had an edge to it that caused a shiver to run down my spine.
"Calm down Mariah," Lee started. "Remember what the Elders always said about wishing such thing upon others."
Her fierce gaze left me and traveled to Lee. "Screw the Elders and EVERYTHING they said! All of their wise words didn't help Kevin and Gary in the end!" She exclaimed.
"Mariah, calm down," I said almost timidly.
Once again I was forced to shrink away slightly as her gaze doubled back to scathe me.
"I will not be calm about this. If the police can't figure out who did it-- "
"But it's only been a day!" I countered.
She ignored my protest.
"Then I'LL find out."
"Please, just let the police try and handle it, Mariah. If they can't figure it out, what good could you do?" Lee asked.
I regarded his support with relief. Mariah was a menace to society when she took that attitude.
"I'm a neko-jin, we all are, and we know our kin. Back in the village we took care of one another. We exacted revenge when wrongs were committed. What makes the city any different?" Mariah asked.
"It's more dangerous here," I said softly.
She scoffed. "I don't care. The police can do as they wish, but I'm GOING to find out who murdered them, and then . . ." Mariah did not finish her sentence, but she bared her fangs slightly, set Lee and I with a firm glare, and headed toward the apartment door. "I'll be waiting in the car, Lee," she said right before she slammed the door behind her.
I winced as the discordant sound split the air.
"I hope that the police figure it out before she does," I said.
Lee nodded. "I'm afraid that she is less than logical right now."
I nodded that time.
Lee sighed as he stood up. "Listen, Rei, I had better get down their. Maybe I can smooth things over with her, and try and convince her to stop being so . . . brash."
I stood as well and went to embrace him. We hugged briefly before releasing. He gave me a morose smile before exiting the apartment. It was quiet again, and I merely stared at the door for a long time just listening to my thoughts.
I had been attacked, killed someone, my friends were dead, and I was feeling unfamiliar things for one, Kai Hiwatari.
I wondered where he had gone, or when he had left the apartment. It was odd. Usually, I was happy if I woke up and he wasn't there, but at that point, I wanted nothing more than to wake up to the sight of his lovely face. Once again I felt the coldness inhabiting my body like an empty spirit, and I shivered despite myself.
Kai. Where was he? Why did I care? Why did I want him to be with me? Why did I miss him so much?
'I need a nap . . . no, I don't, I just took one. I need coffee . . . no, I just had tea. I need, I need . . .' I thought desperately.
I thought for a moment longer. "I need a drink," I mumbled decisively.
I thought once again. "And someone to drink with," I added.
It was clear to me then what I needed to do. With a sigh, I walked to the door, opened it, closed it, and walked down the hallway toward the elevator.
I kept my head bowed, gazing at the floor as if it would answer every spinning question in my mind. It didn't, but that made sense. Carpeting isn't a therapist. Everyone knows that.
I quickened my pace ever so slightly as the elderly Mrs. Kerry came waltzing out of her apartment, the leash of her tiny, white, puffy bichon held in her aged, wrinkly hands. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her small body stiffen beneath the light jacket that she wore. She stared at me with dark brown eyes, watching my every step suspiciously as though she expected me turn around and . . .I don't know . . . kick Ms. Sweetums out of the far window. That was nonsense anyway. I'm much better at throwing than kicking.
I sighed as I walked passed her and lifted my head just enough to give her a small smile. I wasn't going to give her anymore of a reason to hate me now. Oddly, she used to think I was 'such a nice young man'.
Mrs. Kerry didn't bat an eyelash. She just continued to stare at me.
I tried to ignore her as I finally made it to the elevator. Stepping in and pressing the correct button, I looked out just in time to see Mrs. Kerry and Ms. Sweetums take the stairs to the lobby. The doors closed after I witnessed that very distinct message, and I was left alone to feel the vibrations of the metal box as it shook to life and began a steady descent downward.
My eyes watched the floor numbers light up and go out. I was quite pleased that no one needed the elevator. I wasn't much in the mood for being cramped inside a shiny metal box with ten other people.
An eternity of my life had passed (I was almost sure anyway) when the elevator got to the lobby. The doors slid open, and I stepped out. I glanced around the lobby, noticing with a bit of bitter humor that there was a new doorman. He didn't look much older than the other young doorman was, but he had sharp, dark green eyes and a shock of black hair that was about the same color as mine. He held an air of confidence about himself, maybe a little arrogance. Probably he acted like a real bad ass, but I didn't have the same 'nonchalant, I don't really give a damn' impression of him that I had had of the last guy.
I sighed and shrugged as I walked up to him.
"Excuse me," I started.
He eyed me carefully before letting a small half smile onto his thin lips. "Yes, sir? Can I help you?" He asked.
Well, he seemed nice enough. "Uh, yeah. Actually, I was wondering, do you know if Sam is going to be on duty any time soon?"
He shook his head easily. "Hm, no I've got guard for the next three hours," he said.
I nodded. "Oh. Okay, thanks."
I turned to walk away. Maybe I'd go and see if I could scare more people while I walked down the hallway to my apartment.
I'm really such an imposing fellow, you know.
"Wait," called the doorman.
I turned around, regarding him with a curious stare.
He seemed to stare at me for a moment, as though he were sizing me up. After a moment he came to some sort of decision within himself, and he nodded. I just stood there and looked confused.
"Are you Kon?" He asked.
I was surprised. "Um, yeah." I said.
"I didn't think I'd see you, but Sam seemed to think you'd be around. Anyway, he says that he's at home, and that you should drop by."
I tilted my head to the side. "He did?"
The young man raised a thick black eyebrow at me. "Yeah."
"Okay, um, thanks."
He shrugged and smiled a little. "Sure, no problem."
He ceased looking in my direction after that and went back to forming an active search pattern all around the room with his vulpine like eyes.
I turned back around and changed my plans of frightening my neighbors to having a nice visit with Sam, which was what I had wanted in the first place.
I slowly made my way to the back of the lobby to where a simple oak door was. I turned the brass knob and entered. The hallway that was in front of me was nothing special. In fact, it was below 'nothing special', for it was simply a cemented tunnel painted over from floor to ceiling with slate blue, chipping paint. Pipes, also painted slate blue, adorned the ceiling, and above the pipes was a consistent line of flickering florescent lights.
I traveled the moderately long corridor, merely listening to the sound of my footsteps, and those annoying voices in my head. They ran around in circles in my mind, yelling things about murder and death . . . things about Kai. I could only listen to them, for I had nothing else to do.
The end of the hall way came to an abrupt halt, and I found myself facing yet another hallway, only this one was horizontal. This hall was far more suitable than the previous one; for it had dark carpeting in a design akin to paisley, and its walls were painted some shade of dark green that blended well with the colors of the carpeting. The hall would have been quite dark were it not for the intricate light fixtures on the ceiling that gave off a warm, orange glow.
Along the dim hall, spanning in both directions, were shiny oak doors with gleaming brass knobs. They were storage rooms mostly, but sometimes they were used for people working part time at the building.
If I moved to the left, I would eventually come to a wrought iron staircase spiraling upward. That staircase would lead me to the landlord's home. I chose to go right, however, and soon came to a door near the end of the corridor. I knew it well, and I knocked lightly upon its polished surface.
"It's open!" Came the muffled reply.
I turned the knob and pushed the door open. Sam smiled as I closed the door behind me.
"Hello, Rei," He said.
I smiled easily. "Hello, Sam."
Sam's apartment was simple. It consisted of a large living space where in an entertainment center sat against one wall, and a couch with side tables on either side faced toward it. Behind the couch, a fair distance away, was a dining table with four chairs, and on the wall behind it was a well- stocked bookshelf. There was a door way in the wall behind the table that would lead to a kitchen, and behind the kitchen would be yet another door way. That doorway would lead to a hallway that led to the bathroom, a storage room, and Sam's bedroom.
"Come on in, sit down, make yourself comfortable," Sam said, motioning toward me with his hands. He sat comfortably on the couch, and I joined him there.
"So, I take it that Sota gave you my little message?"
I nodded. "Yes. So, his name is Sota, then?"
"Ah, yes. And don't worry about him, Rei. I interviewed him myself. He's a good lad. Young, confident, a little cocky, but he has a good work ethic. He's nothing like that other boy. You know, I told Mrs. Nebbs that she should have had me interview him before she gave him the job. 'Coarse, she gave me a wave of the hand. He was her nephew, you know, and she just didn't seem to think he could do any wrong."
"I see. Well, Mrs. Nebbs doesn't think SHE can do anything wrong either. I wonder if all Land Lords are like that."
Sam smiled slightly. "If only her husband wasn't having so many health problems. I remember back when he was just as sturdy as any horse. You'd have liked him, Rei. He was a good man."
"I'm sure he was. I met their daughter once, she seemed kindly enough."
"Oh, she's a beautiful girl, and the smartest little thing you'll find around, though I hear she's got a mouth like a whip that's gotten her into a bit of trouble every now and then."
I nodded. I had heard such things as well.
"How about something to drink?" Sam asked, already standing up.
It seemed he had the uncanny ability to read my mind.
"Sounds good," I said.
Sam disappeared into his kitchen, and I stayed put on the couch. It seemed odd. There I was, sitting in a friend's home, engaging in a perfectly normal, pleasant conversation, and beyond that door was a world where I had killed someone, where two of my best friends had been brutally murdered, and where people I cared about were mourning and worrying. I wondered what kind of person I had to be.
At about that time, Sam returned, carrying in his hands a bottle of brandy and two glasses. He motioned for me to join him at the dining table, and I did. As I sat down, he opened the bottle and poured the liquid into the glasses. He shoved one towards me and eyed me knowingly.
"You look a little like you could use a drink," he said.
I chuckled. "Well, that's half the reason I came here," I said.
Sam sat down across from me, holding his glass firmly, yet nonchalantly between his middle finger and thumb. He sipped the cool beverage. "And what's the other reason?" He inquired.
I took a longer drink from my glass. "Just . . . to get away, I guess."
He stared at me, not saying anything. I guess he knew I was going to say more.
I took another long drink, finishing off the glass.
"Two of my best friends since I was a little kid were murdered," I said softly.
I did not see reason for stalling.
Sam's expression grew darker and more thoughtful. I observed him as he began to open his mouth, probably to form familiar phrases such as, 'I'm so sorry' or 'that's terrible'. Instead, he closed his mouth, grabbed the brandy, and poured me another drink.
I looked at him a little surprised.
"Drink up, boy," he said. "Things will get worse before they get better, so you might as well be numb for now."
Sam's small smile and kindly expression betrayed his rough sounding words. His heart went out to me, I knew that much, but Sam knew what it was like to hear the same expression over and over again. He knew how mechanical and meaningless certain things began to sound. After all, he was a doorman.