One breath away and there you will be,
So young and carefree, again you will see, That place in time,
So gold
"Johnny, please!" I could feel my eyes brimming, and then overflowing with tears. Hot, salty tears. They stung my cheeks and nose.
Burning, burning. "Johnny, you can make it, you can! I know you. You're tough."
My throat was swelling, my heart was swelling, my brain was filling with so many thoughts, memories. I was going to explode .
So many emotions, so many words, so many tears.
"I love you. I love you, Johnny Cade! Don't you get it? You can't die! It's not fair! Why are you being so selfish! I need you!
Please, Johnny. Keep fighting. I know it hurts, I know! But we were going to get married, remember? I was going to wear my mother's dress ..."
My mother. Dead in a car crash. Johnny, lying in a hospital bed, burned, paralysed, dying ...
Steal away into that way back when,
You thought that all would last forever,
But like the weather, nothing can ever,
And be in time Stay gold
"You promised me, Johnny! You promised! Why are you doing this to me! Why? Johnny, please! I couldn't bear it .
I want to die too. Do you hear me! You can't do this to me! I love you! Please, please ..."
"I love you too, Jessie."
"Stop it! Stop it! If you loved me you wouldn't be here! Why is this happening! What did I do, Johnny? I know I'm not a saint, I know. But I'll try! I will. Do you hear me, Johnny? I'll never bother you about spending so much time with Pony! I'll be perfect, I'll be anything you want me to be!" My voice was high, getting higher, out of control. I felt reckless with anger, helplessness. My nerves were on end. I had no control and too many feelings.
"It's okay, Jess." His voice was small, so small and weak and fragile. It was different, he was different. Defeated.
"IT'S NOT! IT'S NOT OKAY!"
But can it be,
When we can see,
So vividly, our memories,
And yes you say, so must the day,
To fade away and leave a ray of sun,
So gold
"Remember when we stayed out in the park all night? I could hear your heartbeat, Johnny. That's when I knew I was in
love with you. And we talked and talked and your heart, it was right under my ear, I could hear it. And when I got
home Darry was so angry. Do you remember? He told me I'd never leave the house again. Johnny?"
Life is but a twinklin' of an eye,
Yet filled with sorrow and compassion,
Though not imagined, all things that happen,
Will age too old,
Though gold
"Johnny, wake up! Please. I need you. We're perfect together, we are. I never believed in fate or destiny or anything -
but I know this, us, I know we're real. Johnny! Please! Please wake up! YOU CAN'T GO YET! You're only 16. You were going to teach me to drive, remember? We were gonna leave Tulsa, leave the Soc's and the greasers. Remember? Johnny, wake up! Please baby,
you have to Wake up! I need you."
A high pitched beep was filling my ears, my body, my veins. It consumed me, filled me, smothered me. I could see myself, crying,
gasping, sobbing, Johnny's hand in my own, his body limp, my screams were echoing, echoing ...
Hands were on me, holding me, embracing me.
"I want to die, too."