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Disclaimer: I do NOT own the characters, rights, places, etc. of Magic Knight Rayearth. They are the sole intellectual property of CLAMP. This story is just me writing for fun, and believe me, I am NOT making any money off of it. If anything, I'm losing money by wasting my time and writing this, when I could be out working a second job….
However, if you feel that I have overly infringed on copyright, then please, tell me immediately and I will take this down. Just don't sue. You'll only get a few mugs and a chair for your trouble (I be poor).
And just to be on the safe side, this fan fiction will be rated M for bad language and anything else I can think of. That being said, there is a good chance that this fic will become MA in the future. If the thought of that offends or scares you, then please don't bother reading what I am about write.
Now that you have been WARNED, I don't want to hear about any whiny bitches complaining about my story or reporting my ass and gettin' me shut down (slides shotgun bolt).
Got it?
Ok then, let's start this shiznit!
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.SLIPPERY
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By: Big Fat Hippo
Chapta 1, yo.
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A half inch.
Another bloody half inch.
Clef grunted ill-naturedly and turned sharply away from the crystalline surface of the full length mirror, his baggy trousers whipping smartly behind him.
Walking heavily towards the lounge area of his quarters (master mages did not stomp), Clef dejectedly summoned a pot of strong tea. It trailed behind him a few paces, gently puffing out wisps of peach colored steam. He flopped gracelessly into his den, which was really nothing more than a recessed floor littered with oversized, jewel-toned throw pillows. As Clef stretched out enough to hear a few muscles pop, he mumbled a few words and a shimmering ball of light in his left hand materialized into a porcelain cup. Eyes closed, Clef thrust out his arm just in time to catch steaming amber liquid as it dribbled from the tea pot, still hovering in mid-air.
As he brought the cup to his lips, Clef exhaled heavily. But whether it was to cool off the steaming liquid or out of frustration, he couldn't tell. Taking a sip of the mildly bitter tea, Clef contemplated his latest….obstacle.
The problem had been ongoing for a few months now. At first Clef noticed nothing too serious, just a few physical inconsistencies here and there.
His nose looked a little longer? His eyes were bleary in the morning, that's all.
Sip.
His cheekbones were more prominent than he was used to? Well, he had been skipping a few meals lately because of the long hours his job required. After all, helping to manage a new Cephirean government wasn't easy!
Sip.
Shoes not fitting quite so properly anymore? Uh oh. Maybe there is something more to this…
Sip.
His robes and tunic going from quite loose to pretty snug? Damn! The jig was up.
Sip. Sip. Sip.
Clef was finally growing - doubt no longer clouded his mind on that issue. Draining what was left in the cup, he threw his head back on the pillows, craning his neck to catch a few stray rays of the mid morning sun. He sighed again and closed his eyes. Growth was all fine and good, he had no problem with it, really.
Except for one thing: he wasn't trying to incur the change!
Whoever heard of a master mage who couldn't even control one of the most basic biological facets of his body? It was worse than shameful – it was unfocused will at its worst. He might as well be stripped of his title as Supreme Yil, while the entire castle laughed on as he was booted out, ass first!
Worse yet, Clef might actually be asked WHY he finally decided to physically mature. He hated nothing more than others prying clumsily into his private life. Even if he didn't mind having his affairs put on display, the disturbing fact was that even the guru couldn't pinpoint the reasons for his change. And thanks to the maturing stunt pulled by that stupid Bal, Ascot, any denials on Clef's part would be read as him trying to cover up some burning crush on any number of female denizens within the castle.
Clef caressed the cup tightly, as if he could draw out the porcelain's residual warmth into his own body.
Needless to say, as each day passed, the fear that someone would find out the mage's dirty little secret grew exponentially. Eventually, he would be forced to visit Zayeli, the tailor, out of necessity. Then griffin would really be out of the bag, once that gossipy old wench's tape measure snapped shut. Clef grimaced at the thought. With his new height, maybe he could overpower Zayeli and sew her mouth shut with her own implements. Clef let a small, evil smirk spill upon his face as he pondered the poetic justice…
No, he couldn't do that. His position as a mage practically forbid such boorish behavior. He could, however, always magic into existence new clothes to fit his body, but they only had a shelf life of a few hours. After that, well, it would be embarrassing if he was out in public as they began to dissipate. And Clef had no desire to display his bits in front of everyone and – creator help him! – especially on a day the Magic Knights decided to visit.
Speaking of dissipation, Clef began to notice a warm wetness spreading along his left thigh. Looking over, he noticed that a huge damp spot was lazily spreading over the pillows. A quick glance up revealed that the teapot was still merrily bubbling out its contents - all over his den! An irritated swipe of his hand broke the spell - the tea, cup, and pot all imploded back to wherever they came from. Clef surveyed the damage done to his furniture; the instantaneous banishment also served to rapidly dry out his throw pillows.
Just great. Tea stains were a bitch to get out.
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End Chapta 1
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Review if you want to, I really don't care. I'm doing this out of frustration and boredom.