Crash and Burn, a harry potter fanfic

Crash and Burn

I watched them as they weaved in and out of the mob of students crowding in the Great Hall: their hands pressed tightly together, their eyes gazing adoringly into each other. Annabel -- she was perfect for him. Her head of gold contrasted with his raven hair in such a beautiful way, likewise their expressions, and sparkling smiles. Her face shined like the brilliant full moon-- visible on the magical roof of the castle-- as her strapless blue dress bellowed out with each step she took. As for Evan, dark strands of hair fell over his breathtaking eyes as he gently pulled her closer to him. They held each other close, their faces drawing nearer to the other …

Not 3 meters away, my face burned a bright scarlet that could easily have matched my flaming red hair, as I held back the tears that were rapidly forming in my eyes. It was so hard to face reality – they were happy together. He had found someone new – someone more beautiful than I could ever be. The truth was that I, Lily Evans, still loved him. I loved the way his black hair gently fell over his bright eyes. I loved the way he'd smile even when times were getting rough. I loved every aspect of him – and I missed how things used to be. I missed feeling so safe around him – so loved, so beautiful. When he was with me, it was as if nothing else in this world mattered. But I made my mistake – the mistake which cost me our relationship. I had to let every slight thing get in the way, until I was so protective, so hurt by everything. He had loved me and comforted me, until I wounded him too deeply. Things went downhill. And now, it seemed, we were strangers.

A single tear escaped, and found its way to my chin. As I brushed it away, another dropped -- then yet another. Tears fell like a waterfall – all emotions that had been trapped within me for the past 6 months were slipping out. I watched as a blurred figure of him kissed her again. I couldn't stand it any longer. With tears streaming down my face, I pushed through the crowd.

"Lily!" I heard someone shout, but I only walked faster.

A hand reached out and grabbed my elbow. I struggled to get away, blindly hitting all objects in sight. The hand steered me around, until I was face-to-face with a boy with messy jet hair.

"Lily." The voice said once again, more gently. It belonged to him –the boy in front of me. I felt a finger gently rub against my face, brushing my tears away.

"What do you want?" I sobbed，recognizing the boy as Potter.

"I …" He paused for a moment, speechless.

I gave him the best glare I could muster, but only ended up feeling tears return to my eyes. This day, that sight I saw, was too much for me. I didn't think I could handle being bothered by Potter. I turned to go – but suddenly, he pulled me into a giant bear hug.

"I just want to know what's wrong," he whispered.

When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you,
give me a moment please, to tame your wild wild heart.

I bit my lips. I was supposed to be strong, was supposed to long have forgotten Evan. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone what was wrong, least of all Potter …

Yet, as I saw Evan's handsome figure move towards the center of the Great Hall, tears slid down my face yet again.

"Nothing," I lied. "Nothing is wrong."

Potter could see right through me. Pulling me closer to him, he whispered, "It's Evan, isn't it? Evan and Annabel…"

I forced a nod.

"Lily, he isn't the only guy out there. There are so many people … he isn't worth your tears …"

I couldn't conceal it any longer. All these thoughts filled my head – I couldn't keep these secrets.

"It's just that we aren't even friends anymore! I don't know what to do! I love him, but he doesn't acknowledge that I exist!"

Potter winced slightly when he heard that I loved Evan, yet snuggled, if possible, even closer to me.

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you…

"Hey, but he's loved you before. Maybe – maybe --he still loves you …" Potter said comfortingly.

"I asked him!" I sobbed. "He was my best friend, how could I not ask him? He … he looked like he was going through a seizure or something! Then he pushed me aside, told me he was going out with Annabel and that I could give up! He told me to f off – he doesn't want me back …."

It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold …

"A guy like him doesn't deserve your love …" Potter mustered, anger burning his cheeks.

"He wasn't always like that. He used to do every little sweet thing for me, to make my day. When he wasn't with me, he would owl me "good night". And he would stay up just to deliver me a basket of chocolate and roses every time he felt that I needed it. He was just so …" I paused. I hated to recall these things – not just because they left me pining for so much more. It was because I knew that now, Evan had moved on. He no longer kept me in his mind – now, all he thought of was Annabel.

"He was just always there," I concluded, my voice barely hearable.

Potter practically squeezed me now.

"Lily, no matter what happens, it'll be alright."

When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

"I just don't know what to do! I feel so … lost. So alone …" I sobbed.

"No, you're not alone. I'm here. "

If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

I stared up at him for a few brief moments. Potter – arrogant, aggressive, big-headed Potter – said that he's here. I realized how tightly I was being squeezed, and thus pushed him away. Here, my mortal enemy… he was being so kind. I was starting to trust him, if only slightly. But I didn't want to get betrayed all over again.

"Potter …"

"James. Lily, call me James."

"… James. Thank you. Thank you for being so kind when I need it the most. But you don't have to do this. Just turn around, run away like everyone else has done. Go ahead. You've seen the weak side of me. Abandon me – I'm giving you a chance."

"Lily …"

"Just turn your back away and leave …."

"Lily, you don't understand."

"Understand what? What left is there to understand? You've been so kind – now please, just go away …"

"It's just …" He pulled me back to him. "I would never abandon you."

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

I paused for a while.

"That's exactly what Evan once told me. He made me feel so beautiful and special – but now, when it's all gone, I realize that I'm just worthless. I'm nobody …"

"No, Lily, you're the most beautiful person I have ever met."

The tears stopped falling, and as I looked up, I saw him smiling down on me.

"Do you mean it?" I asked, fearing the answer would be no.

"Yes. And in time, you'll be happy again. Things will be better – and you'll look back at this day and laugh."

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again
"Thanks. I'll try to believe you." I gently smiled, and pulled away from him.

"If you ever need anyone to talk to, come to me…" He put a loose red strand of hair behind my ear. "I'll always be here for you …"
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

"… Because I love you." He whispered. He started walking away, towards Sirius, Remus and Peter.

"Wait!" I called. "Maybe …"

"Maybe I'll love you too."