I do not own either One Piece or Justice League Unlimited.
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Beta read by the wonderful rose7anne101 and MasterQwertster. Make sure to check out their stories!
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Justice
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Chapter 7: Halloween
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Previously:
While working to return home to their own universe, the Straw Hats have found themselves recruiting several powered individuals, the majority of whom are wanted felons.
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The Straw Hats were all assembled.
Ominously, they were all being serious.
Sorry, I meant: Terrifyingly, they were all being serious.
Nations had crumbled over less.
"So what's the situation, Robin?" Captain Monkey D. Luffy asked his archaeologist/spy/retired assassin/spymaster/walking-encyclopedia-of-knowledge. "You said we needed a private meeting."
"Yeah, as in without all the others," Usopp chimed in, referring to the inhabitants of this universe they had either met and befriended, or recruited and then befriended. "What's wrong?"
"Have they figured us out?" Zoro grimly asked, his steely grey eye glinting, while his red cybernetic one ominously readjusted itself. "Do they know where we're from?"
"And we still haven't really come up with a plan for if they do," Sanji calmly note, lighting a cigarette.
The Straw Hats had spent these last few months in this new universe with an important guiding principle:
No one was to know where they came from, or have any clue as to how to follow them back.
Undoubtedly if they were free to ask for help from any of the super-geniuses here, magic practitioners (knowing magic was real was Awesome!), or people with special abilities, things would be much easier; it was even possible they could already be back home. Crossing between dimensions could be lots of fun and beneficial for both sides as well, not to mention opening up lots of new adventures.
Sadly, the reverse was true as well. This world was not ready to face the power of the Grand Line. Any pirate who survived halfway through even the Paradise side, would be stronger, faster, and tougher than anything regular civilians here could cope with. It did not bear thinking of what would happen if an Emperor of the New World discovered how to access these new lands to plunder them, or the World Government learning of new lands to 'liberate.'
Even if countries like the United States did not retaliate with nuclear bombs, once their existence and power was learnt of, they and other weapons of mass destruction would be stolen, and the former owners pre-emptively attacked.
On the other side of the coin, if it was the more dangerous lunatics and power hungry would-be conquerors from this world who learnt of the riches and power to be found on the Grand Line, they would be the ones to attack, with all their own strange powers. Or the Justice League, trying to impose 'truth and justice,' and maybe even falling in with the World Government.
Maybe these fears were baseless. Maybe finding a way to travel to other worlds would usher in an era of peace and prosperity for everyone.
Regardless, the Straw Hats were not interested in finding out. They just wanted to go home to achieve their Dreams, and did not want to bring any more complications coming back with them. The competition for the One Piece was already hectic and violent enough as it is.
They had started recruiting supervillains to help navigate through this world's criminal underworld, carry out heists, and acquire necessary technology and scientific knowledge. All a calculated risk to return to the Grand Line. Inevitably, they had also found others joining in the process.
Their one rule applied to their new friends as well however, as it was essential for the Straw Hats to keep the secret of their origins from even their close allies. After all, what they did not know, they could not tell by accident or coercion. At least that is what those who worried about it told themselves to placate any lingering guilt.
Thus far the Straw Hats had been out of luck trying to return. Their dilemma was unique as far as the pirates knew. Even back home, the closest situation they had encountered like this back on the Grand Line was the Rainbow Mist. Unfortunately, Franky had not joined them at that point, and descriptions from the others could only get him so far in trying to figure out if there was anything useful to learn from that experience. Even then, the shipwright theorized that what the crew had discovered was a pocket dimension that was attached to their own reality, as opposed to a totally separate parallel world like the one they had become stuck within.
"No," Robin said, holding up a soft, gentle looking hand that disguised how fearsomely strong it was. "However, I overlooked something, and it nearly gave us all away."
"No sweat," boomed Franky. "You've been carrying the load of twenty people," promised the cyborg, his blue hairstyle being Micky Mouse ears today. "So what do we need to do get around this issue?"
"You clearly have a solution," Jinbe shrewdly rumbled.
"'Course she does," smirked Nami.
With a beautiful smile, Robin started some slides. "It's a holiday that is very popular here in America, and known almost globally. Complete ignorance of it would be a glaring red flag. It's called Halloween, and involves dressing up in costumes to extort people for candy when they can't identify you."
"Go on," grinned Luffy, already giddy with excitement.
!JUSTICE!
"You should go as yourself for Halloween," Nami said to Clayface.
"Huh?" the shapeshifter said in confusion.
"She's right," Chopper chirped. "You can disguise yourself as anyone, except on Halloween you can go as you are, and people'll think you've just got an awesome costume."
"Huh," Clayface repeated, albeit more thoughtfully.
Overhearing the conversation, Usopp turned to Poison Ivy. "Will you be going Trick or Treating?"
"Pass the fertilizer," she said in response. Once the sniper had done so, and she had taken the time to add a little more water to the various indoor plants they were tending to do, did she deign to address the less important issue. "No I will not. I refuse to support the mad campaign of botanical genocide that grips this country every October!" she hissed with a rare display of anger. "It's bad enough with Christmas Trees, the yearly wasting of innocent pumpkins is just as bad, if not worse!"
"It does seem wasteful," agreed Robin as she came over, having also briefed everyone on Christmas. "Especially since modern children at Halloween are no longer engage in acts of coercion and vandalism to get their treats. It's rather saddening."
"Rooobin, parents don't want their kids learning that," Usopp groaned.
"Well, I confess I don't really get it," Robin said, as she bent over to water some flowers.
"It really is nice how you are all willing to spruce this place up," Poison Ivy praised. "Although is it really necessary to have a watering can like that?"
Bedecked in tan pans and a bright, pink shirt, Robin looked at her personal watering can, which was a dark grey, while the spout was shaped like a moaning zombie, the water coming out the 'mouth.' "Why, what's wrong with it?" she asked with genuine curiosity.
Recognizing a lost cause, Ivy waved her hand in cool dismissal. "Never mind. Let's just work on the rest of our babies."
No need to antagonise the closest people she had to allies here, even if she was affronted by how readily Usopp used his plants as weapons. Not partners whose own lives you had to protect in turn.
Oh well, at least he was committed to growing more, and even introducing some fascinating new breeds that she had never seen before. That made him tolerable.
!JUSTICE!
Elsewhere in the base, Brook was mentoring his protégé in a priceless art form. "Or you could say: You talk so much, you'd wake the dead. Oh wait, that's why I'm awake! Yo ho ho ho!"
Frowning in concentration, Solomon Grundy puzzled over that for a long moment, before the zombie clutched his belly as he broke out laughing too. "Because I'm dead! Ha ha ha! Good one! Ha ha!"
"Why thank you," Brook said with a modest bow. "And no doubt with a little more practice, you'll be saying those on the fly yourself!"
Grinning, Grundy opened up a joke book for further inspiration. In turn, Brook picked up the latest copy of a music magazine, reading about how his fans continued to praise his talent, despite the revelation that the Soul King was a criminal.
!JUSTICE!
"Hey, Mosshead!" snapped Sanji as he walked over to Zoro. They were in a large basement under the warehouse, reinforced by Franky for the crew's training sessions. Sanji was toweling off his sweat after a long hard work-out, doing ten thousand kicks in ten minutes with heavy weights on. Then the other foot.
Pausing to take a drink of water laced with electrolytes, the chef took another look at his personal headache, realizing the man was meditating, not sleeping as Sanji had originally assumed.
Nuts to this, I need to spar against a real opponent.
Lashing out with a devastating kick, Sanji took satisfaction in how the swordsman barely managed to raise his sword to block it in time. "You're getting slow!" Sanji gloated.
"Pfft. Why bother putting any effort into it," Zoro angrily snapped back. Now Sanji registered the subtle tones in his crewmate's voice, and withdrew his leg.
"Hey, what's up?"
Groaning, Zoro massaged his forehead. "I've got a problem I'm trying to work out."
"Did you get further into debt with Nami-Sis?" Franky teased, as he ambled over, rotating his arms.
"No," grunted Zoro. "Although the witch's already calling in debt to the people we've picked up, saying they owe her money for what they borrowed, and they're so shaken by it they don't remember she never actually loaned them any."
"Hah!" barked Franky in good humour. "That's Nami for you! Now, anything we can help you with, or can Sanji and I spar?"
"Sounds more productive than hearing this idiot moan and whine," griped Sanji, angry at hearing an angel like Nami being slandered.
With a sigh, Zoro explained. "I was watching a movie with Luffy last night, and they had a really cool fighting style I'd like to incorporate into my swordsmanship."
"Huh," Sanji said, taking another small sip of water before his fight with Franky. "Alright, that sounds interesting enough. What is it, and what's the problem?"
For the first time Zoro raised his head to look at both his friends, his face clearly showing his inner conflict. "It's called Drunken Kung Fu, where you drink a lot of sake, and fight with unpredictable movements while drunk, or at least act like it. It's perfect! Except, except," and now Zoro looked truly torn, "a true swordsman never lets alcohol take control of himself, so how do I learn!?"
"Idiot," scoffed Sanji, before sauntering off. If Franky was going to be shooting missiles at him, then they would want some open space.
!JUSTICE!
Sipping his tea, Jinbe entered the dining area to find Maureen hunched over some paper, working on math problems. The ice user was making excellent progress, emboldened by everyone's support, especially Volcana. "How's it going?" he asked.
"Pretty good, Jinbe," she answered, albeit a little nervously. She was still a little unused to her new life. "How are you doing?"
"Oh, pretty good, thank you. I just wish I could join you for Halloween."
"But you've got to come!" gasped Maureen. Living on the streets for all those years, Halloween had been one of her few bright spots, as she was able to get some candy then. Even if it had hurt so see all those children with their loving parents. Now however she had friends. Almost a family. "You've got to come with us!"
"I wish I could," Jinbe assured her. "Alas, my size is too distinctive, and we have to take care of some other business."
"Don't worry Maureen," Volcana assured him as she came into the room, still wearing her tight tank-top and form fitting red pants. "There's always be another chance. Now, get cracking," she sternly told the younger girl, while pointing at the homework. "I'm not Luffy. No Halloween if you haven't finished that!"
"Nooo!" cried Maureen as she promptly got back to work.
!JUSTICE!
The only thing that nearly rivaled the dangers of a serious Luffy, was a bored Luffy.
In fact, said nations that had eventually crumbled from a serious Luffy, usually were the by-products of scenarios where the legendary young man had been insufficiently preoccupied.
For the Straw Hat Pirates, managing this was not really regarded as a chore for them –despite how some of them may claim otherwise. That said, they did have their own hobbies and responsibilities they needed to address. Thus the crew were quite happy to hand him over to be babysat by their new recruits. Plus, it was always fun to watch others struggle with their Captain. Besides, if that backfired, they got to enjoy whatever new adventure Luffy sucked them all into.
Cheetah was the sacrificial goat of the day.
(Of course, they never referred to her as that. Usopp had simply and 'innocently' asked her if she would join Luffy for a movie so Usopp would be free to tend to his plants, and Cheetah, poor naïve, naïve Cheetah, had agreed.)
"That was a boring movie," moaned Luffy. "I thought you said it was good!"
"It is!" cried a shocked Cheetah. "'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' is a classic for a reason."
Rolling his eyes, and blowing a raspberry, Luffy shook his head dismissively. "Most of their fight scenes weren't all that impressive, and some were even silly. My crew could do much better even when we first got together!" Then he cocked his head in thought. "Although learning how to jump like that could be cool."
Flexing her fingers in frustration, Cheetah struggled to find an answer. Truthfully, she knew next to nothing about her boss' past, and they had made it discretely clear they wanted to keep it that way. Except for Luffy, who when asked just sucked in his lips and looked the other way while humming.
Of course Cheetah respected their need for secrecy, and felt no compulsion to endanger her comfy new position (or skin) by digging for details. She was not that curious a cat.
So Cheetah did her best to not pay attention to all the strange jobs she was doing on behalf of Franky. With mixed results.
As for Luffy's opinion on the fight scenes, from what she had seen of his 'sparring' matches with the other Straw Hats, anything short of an all-out brawl with Superman would seem tame.
Grasping for straws regarding the movie, she asked, "What about the romance then?"
He looked at her blankly. "There was romance?"
"Yes. Yes there was," she deadpanned back. "How could you not notice?"
"Oh," Luffy stroked his chin. "I thought romance just involved people going up to each other and asking to marry."
"Where did you get that idea?" she incredulously asked.
Sucking in his lips again, Luffy looked away. "I'm not supposed to say. That's just what I learnt from this lady who said she loves me and wants to marry me."
Initially Cheetah had found herself rather attracted to Luffy; he was kind, powerful, charismatic, and did not give a wit that she was a cat-woman. However over a month in his presence and all of his quirks, especially the way he ate his food (if it could even be called that) had cooled any passion, even as she came to deeply respect him as a friend—something she suspected the other ladies had not achieved.
Regardless, the point was while once Cheetah would have felt a stab of jealousy at this news, now she felt a shiver of dread. What kind of woman would want to marry him!? Even Nami and Robin just seem like friends to him. Very, very close friends. I think . . .
Just trying to imagine the type of person Luffy would accept as his bride –because he was being too vague to tell if he was interested in turn— made Cheetah's hair stand on end, and feel as if two or three of her nine lives were trying to run away.
With an act of will Cheetah shook her head and changed the subject.
!JUSTICE!
October 31
"Alright!" Luffy cried out. "Is everyone ready for some extortion?"
"I told you," growled Cheetah. "That isn't what Halloween's about. Certainly not these days. Where you're going, it's more about having a big party."
"Is that really what you think it's about?" Volcana asked as she gave Robin a light glare.
"People going around saying 'Trick or Treat,' and setting off low-grade explosives," Robin smiled as she adjusted her costume. "Sounds accurate to me," she answered with a serene smile.
"You know," Cheetah deadpanned. "I can't tell if you've just got a very morbid perspective of it, or if you're just messing with us. Stop it."
"Good luck with that," muttered Usopp.
"Waaaait," Luffy said with concern as he focused on Cheetah. "What do you mean by where we're going? You guys're coming too, right?"
"No," Poison Ivy flatly answered, walking by the doorway.
"Not my kind of party," Volcana stated.
"Not with this fur," Cheetah chipped, holding up an arm. "I'm too distinctive, and a costume's too stuffy for me."
With a cough, Franky stepped forward. "I'm SUPER sorry, but I'll have to pass, Luffy. I'm too big and bulky, even with a costume."
"And don't forget, we," Zoro jerked his thumb at Jinbe, Brook, and Grundy, "have another job to do."
"Indeed, and we're late as it is," Jinbe threw in.
"Right," the swordsman nodded. "Let's go. I'll drive."
"Uhm," Brook diffidently spoke up. "May I drive this time?" While Zoro was without equal at evasive driving, even with his GPS implant they were on a deadline, and wanted to reach their destination tonight, not next week.
(Given how their crew members ranged from just under 3ft tall to just under 10ft, Franky had been forced to devise some pretty innovative seats for the truck, so that everyone could sit comfortably, and drive safely—with the blatant exception of Luffy, for whom the vehicle locked up.)
"Tch. Fine."
Grundy looked sad that he was too big to come with Luffy and the others, so Chopper promised to bring him back some candy.
"Okay then, I guess it makes sense for you guys," Luffy conceded, before turning a blank look onto the lady super-villains. "But your reasons are dumb."
"No way," Volcana dismissively told him. "We're not coming."
!JUSTICE!
"Not one word," snarled Volcana.
"Wouldn't dream of it," Usopp promised with dead seriousness. "One day we've got to tell you how Luffy made the rest of us join him."
"Did extortion factor in?"
"Extensively."
"Oh don't be like that," Luffy beamed. "You guys look awesome!"
"I don't even want to know how the chef had these for all of us," Cheetah said as she tugged at her outfit. "Or how he had them all already fitted to our sizes so perfectly."
"We should just kill the pig," Poison Ivy coldly declared.
All three of the super-villainesses, and Maureen, were in classic princess costumes.
Poison Ivy's was a billowing green dress of various shades, reaching down to her ankles. Her arms were bare, yet the light greenish tint of her skin blended in beautifully, and a party mask of white over her face disguised her identity. Her curly hair styled into a half up, half down bun.
Volcana's red dress was fiery as it also merged shades of her favourite colour, yet with subtle hints of yellow to make it look like living fire. Her mask was also red, while her hair came down free as usual, as it was already styled to look like flames.
Cheetah found hers a little confusing. For years she had lived wearing solely her fur, except this dress was light and airy enough to still be comfortable. It was of light tan and only reached to her knees, while leopard patterns on the side blended will with her 'bare' arms. Her mask was a dark brown, with a wig of black hair on top to make her look like a woman dressed as an animalistic jungle princess.
All three wore glittering tiaras, completing the impression of royalty.
Like the others, Maureen's costume was a reference to her powers; ice in her case. It was a simmering light blue, with her light brown hair in a braid that went over the front of her chest. The teenage girl was ecstatic, and was spinning around in circles as much as she could while surrounded by the crowds, another sparkling tiara atop her brow.
The Straw Hats and company were in New Orleans for the yearly Halloween party on Bourbon Street.
"Yeah, probably best we don't think about it," agreed Nami. "At least he made it so we can hide a lot of gear underneath, and easily tear it if we need to move fast." Truthfully, she loved her outfit. Based directly off Belle from 'Beauty and the Beast,' covering the navigator in simmering gold of the highest material. She also had the same hairstyle.
(Although personally Nami felt the protagonist should have hit Beast over the head with a chair from the beginning. With that out of the way, she could have seized control of his palace and wealth, instead of all that wishy-washy marrying your captor).
Sure, these costumes dented their budget a bit, yet Nami knew the value of letting everyone vent some stress. Besides, Zoro and Co. were busy acquiring more capital, which along with what the pirates already had saved away (along with ongoing investments) would hopefully be enough for them to go completely into hiding long enough to throw the heroes off their trail.
Nami also vowed to herself that once Luffy had become Pirate King, she would find a way to make a practical dress out of real gold. No matter how many people she had to threaten or hurt.
"You look ravishing," gushed Sanji to the adult women, red faced and panting. Pointedly, he was dressed in the same royal suit as Disney's Beast when he had returned to being a human prince, including a brown ponytail wig.
"If you kill him," Usopp deadpanned at the ladies in question, "please don't drag us into it. Besides," and now he started to preen, "he did help me get this awesome get-up together!" The sniper was wearing a full fitting ninja costume, complete with black pants, jump suit, and mask. Only his nose poked through.
"Does that mean I can switch costumes?" grumbled Chopper.
"Oh come on," Usopp said, trying to hide his giggles. "You look terrific!"
Chopper head-butted his friend. "I'm never letting you choose my costume ever again!"
To his ire, their doctor had discovered all too late that his friends had somehow found a suit that made him look like a racoon dog; the exact animal he was often mistaken for. "I'll get you for this!"
"Don't worry, Chopper," Robin reassured him. "You look fine, and no one will figure out who you are."
Of all of them, Robin had embraced Halloween so thoroughly that the others wondered if she would regularly dress like this in the future.
Nico Robin had discovered Goth.
Every scrap of skin barring a window over the top of her cleavage, was covered from her neck down (which also had a choker) to her hands, with a long billowing dress. It was pitch black except where a lighter shade of dark showed intricate pictures that could either be of flowers or human sacrifice depending on the angle you looked at it. Robin's long hair had been dyed so instead of shining, it now seemed like a shadow to suck in the light as it hung over her shoulders. Her face and hands had makeup that turned her skin paper-white, with thick black lipstick on her lips, and thick mascara around her eyes that came down like black tears.
Her smiles were the stuff of nightmares..
"You guys all look awesome!" declared Luffy, wearing a full-body Flash costume, with his straw hat hanging from his neck.
"Why are you dressed as Flash again?" asked Maureen. "I thought you—" Clayface quickly put a hand over Maureen's mouth to keep her from blurting anything out. He appeared as he always did, albeit slimmer and smaller so that he appeared more human. Like this, on this night in New Orleans, instead of running in fear and horror, people complimented him on his 'realistic' costume.
"We were surprised to see you dressed as a hero," Clayface diplomatically said.
"Oh," said Luffy in surprise. "I like heroes. I just don't want to be one. Now, let's go get that candy!"
!JUSTICE!
"At least the climate is nice," huffed Poison Ivy. She loved how New Orleans had so much green, a place where the plants of the world still held strong. Of course, the persistent efforts by the meatbags to destroy the—
"Who cares where we are!" burst in Luffy. "It's a party!" He was grinning like a loon as he took in the sights.
For at this time of year in New Orleans on Bourbon Street, it was the greatest Halloween celebration on Earth.
The lights were bright at night, music sang out, and the pavement was packed with people having a good time. Costumes were everywhere, and what the Straw Hats were wearing were actually tame in comparison to some of the others.
Volcana was finding herself having a conversation with people in Stormtrooper armour, while Clayface was chatting with people 'also' dressed up as various swamp creatures. The experienced actor was improvising, as he described how he had 'made' his outfit.
Zombies and vampires of every description. Pirates and knights. Heroes and villains. Men and women dressed as fruits and vegetables. People dressed as the Ghostbusters chased those dressed as ghosts. Pirates with peg-legs and eye-patches laughed and sang alongside their friends, dressed as noble knights.
Clowns good and evil skipped around, while Hula dancers wiggled their hips. Luke Skywalker dueled his father more than once for everyone to see, while Vulcan men and women enjoyed telling people how illogical Halloween was. Winston Churchill was having fun as he engaged in comical discussions about European politics with Napoleon Bonaparte, even as Julius Caesar laughed at their display.
Here, every spec of Human imagination was on display.
Robin was enthusiastically talking to some locals about the local tradition of painting your face white and then applying black face paint decorations that were so popular. A helpful lady was even helping apply it to her, blending in with her Goth dress beautifully, while telling her all about the Day of the Dead.
Luffy was having a mock fight with someone dressed as Darkseid, the latter of whom drew a few glares, except most people accepted it for today alone. Especially since 'Flash' was winning. In the background there were even more people dressed as the Justice League.
Nami was teasing one muscular young man dressed in only a speedo, stringing him along before leaving him flatfooted. Then she went to flirt with 'Superman.'
Having 'won' his fight, Luffy rejoined the others as they approached some food vendors. The pseudo Flash then disappeared in a –ugh, it is painful to even say this— flash, to reappear with ice cream cones for both Chopper and Cheetah. "Here," Luffy beamed. "You guys can cool down with this!"
"Thanks!" chirped Chopper, taking the treat. "I still hate you guys for this costume though."
"Oh, don't be like that!" laughed Luffy.
"Thank you," Cheetah said more calmly, touched that he had noticed how the heat affected her, wearing all this fur.
"Don't sweat it. We know how much it bugs Chopper, so you're likely the same."
Not trusting herself to speak, Cheetah just gave a nod as she continued to lick her ice cream beneath her mask. It really was weird with the Straw Hats, although given how they had accepted Chopper, it made sense they would accept another half-Human.
. . . Scratch that, given the composition of half the crew, it would be surprising if they did not. Cheetah sometimes doubted Luffy was human himself for that matter.
Still, it was a nice thought from a . . . friend. Yes, a friend. And she smiled as she ate.
"Hmm, this is nice," Poison Ivy said after buying some fried vegetables in a tantalising sauce. What? She was a vegetarian, and it was part of the circle of life. The plants nourished her, and she repaid it by watering them, caring for them, protecting them from the meatbags who failed to treasure what plant life did for the world, and returning the fertilizer to nourish them in turn.
"It really is a pleasure to have a lady of your tastes around, y'know," Sanji said.
Noting his tone was actually serious, Ivy decided to humour him. "Oh?"
"Yeah. I have all of these vegetarian recipes, but I haven't cooked any in ages. Captain and the crew love their meat after all."
Chuckling, she gave him a dainty pat on the cheek with a smile. "I'm glad I make you so happy." Then she sauntered off, feeling his eyes follow her. For all that he's polite, he's still a pervert.
"Tasty!" Nami said as she tried some beignets, enjoying the fried bread. She was gobbling it down, confident her exercise routine would burn it right off. What? The Straw Hats had a chef who delighted in pandering the women with delicious treats, and her waistline remained as thin as the stem of an hourglass.
"Yum!" went Maureen, unable to believe she was having such a wonderful time. Right after the ice cream for the others, Luffy had brought her some praline, which was a semi-caramelized piece of brown sugar with pecans in it. She had been distressed at first to discover she had forgotten to bring any money, yet the cheerful young man had bought it for her with his own allowance Nami carefully doled out.
"Thank you!" she gushed, throwing him a hug.
He only gave her a quick smile and pat on the back, before reaching for more of his own to eat.
Sanji was being rather popular, as he was equally generous and sincere with his praises to witches who were young and beautiful, as he was with those who were going as old crones.
Usopp found himself having a serious conversation with 'astronauts' about space travel, even as a whole line of Elvis Pressley's danced their way down the street.
More and more people went by as the Straw Hats talked and had fun, with Luffy unconsciously gathering to himself a growing crowd of laughing people. A guy with yellow body-paint was a drunk Homer Simpson, realistic apes and wolfmen (including one in a classic granny's outfit), Dorothy and all her companions looking for the Wizard of Oz, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, with more and more joining in on the wild, wild fun.
!JUSTICE!
It took a few seconds for Chopper to realize something was off.
"Sanji," he asked as they slipped down a side street to where it was marginally quieter, "why're we going away from the others?"
"Because," the chef answered, taking a drag on his cigarette, "you look like you could use a man-to-man talk. Zoro wanted to do it to, except he had to take care of that job, and best to get it done sooner than later. Seemed like as good as time as any."
Instead of being curious, Chopper's first response was to blush. "Don't think I'm happy to hear you acknowledge I'm a man now! Jerk!"
However Sanji did not respond for a long minute, continuing to walk. "Chopper, what's bugging you?"
"Huh?"
"Don't try and fake it. Nami and Robin see it too, and the only reason Luffy's not hugging you and refusing to let go until you answer, is because I volunteered to talk first. So, what's got you down?"
Now Chopper's shoulders slumped. "It's, I just, y'know, this world. It makes me feel weird inside." He looked up at Sanji, his eyes shining through his mask. "Here, there are heroes! Ones who fly around and fight monsters and aliens! Just like in the comics back home!"
(No, there had not been any comic books living with Doctors Hiluluk or Kureha, although that was only because they were so focused on feeding Chopper's voracious appetite for medical knowledge. Usopp had been happy to provide them for Chopper to read once on the Going Merry).
Nodding, Sanji prompted, "But . . ."
This time Chopper's sigh was longer and full of greater regret. "But it's not as simple as it is in the comics. Not when so few have stuff like super-strength, laser beams, and flight, and so many people don't. Even if all the powers the heroes have doesn't eventually corrupt them and make them like the marines, they're still confident that they're right. And that's dangerous! Too many people will get hurt . . ." and the doctor trailed off in thought for a few heartbeats.
"Yeah, they're needed to fight the supervillains." Chopper then waved a dismissive hoof (hidden in a glove), sounding angrier. "Plus, there's the fact that we're criminals here, so they're after us too. We're here with all this cool stuff and we can't enjoy it because—"
He cut himself off, eyes hardening as the little doctor further worked out his own thoughts and feelings. Sanji gave an approving nod; while Chopper was still pretty naïve and even gullible, he was still exceptionally brilliant, and not just for medicine.
"I'm feeling guilty," Chopper breathed out, "because we all so desperately want to get home, yet there's also so much I want to do here. Except the longer we stay here, who knows what's happening back in the New World? With our friends there? Our dreams? So I feel like I'm not supposed to enjoy it."
"And that's making you anxious and stressed out," Sanji concluded, giving his nakama a kindly pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, we all feel the same way to different degrees. Yeah, this place has some pretty cool stuff, and not just the heroes. Unfortunately, at the same time we're all borderline desperate to get back. The only reason we haven't gotten to the point of just openly seizing whatever we want, is because Luffy knows too many innocent people'd be hurt if we did. Plus, all the fun stuff here would be destroyed. Like super ladies in tight outfits!" he gushed.
An exasperated Chopper rubbed his face.
Sanji continued after only thirty seconds of drooling. "We're playing it patient because it beats fighting the whole world at once, so we don't hurt people, and because there is some awesome stuff here that'd get wrecked. People too, new friends we've made even. And on that note, we'll have to make a decision eventually on whether or not to take them with us.
"For now though, we're just trying to enjoy ourselves without getting all pent up, and—"
He broke off as his nose twitched. Chopper's did the same at the same time, and both heads instantly swiveled to a young boy (up past his bedtime) about to bite into a caramel apple.
Said apple appeared in Sanji's hand an instant later, glaring at it with hate. "Kid," he growled, not taking his eyes off the treat. "Where'd you get this?"
The lad –who was maybe ten years old, and probably snuck out without his parents knowing given how he had only a plain mask on as a costume— puffed himself up indignantly. "Hey! Give that back! I—"
"It's poisoned!" snapped Sanji. "Chopper and I can smell it!"
Gasping, the kid's eyes darted to the side, and Sanji stalked off towards the stall across the street, other kids already backing away as they heard that fateful word.
"Well now, why'd you ruin the fun," grouched an unfamiliar voice, and out of the stall stepped a man in a purple suit, white face, green tinted hair, and the widest, most insane and sadistic smile the Straw Hats had seen since Doflamingo.
"Joker," Sanji said with a blank face. Calm, expressionless, as if he had no emotional stake in the situation.
"In the flesh," preened the Joker. "It looks like great minds think alike, Straw Hats," stressing the words to show how he saw right through their disguises. "Come on down here for Halloween, and people think you're just wearing a costume. Aha ha ha ha!" he cackled. "Isn't it hilarious!? I've even got a few decoys back in Gotham to keep ol' Bats sniffing around for me." Now he seemed to sulk and scowl at once. "And then you goody-two shoes had to ruin the fun. Again. Bad enough what you're doing to Gotham."
"I dunno, Mistah J," a chirpy lady's voice broke in, as Harley Quinn skipped forward in her characteristic red and black suit. "I mean, maybe instead of poisonin' kids," she nervously offered, "we should do something, like, rob a bank?" Then she perked up. "Yeah, instead of kids, we can kill some security guards!" She whirled to look at some of the terrified boys and girls —who while wetting themselves, were also gaining a valuable life lesson on listening to their parents, ignoring peer pressure, and not going out on your own at night— and gave them all a grin and two thumbs up. "Don't that sound neat?!"
"No one asked you, Harley," snapped Joker, already in a bad mood, as he automatically swung his hand to give her a light backhand.
It stopped a centimeter from her face.
Incredibly flexible, Sanji was standing between the Joker and his girlfriend, foot raised to block the arm swinging towards a woman's face. His eyes shadowed by his wig, although what could be seen of the lower half of his face still spoke of detachment. Perfectly calm and composed, he took an even longer drag of his cigarette, took it out to release some smoke . . .
!JUSTICE!
The Straw Hats and their allies whipped around to see a pillar of fire lighting up the night sky.
"Oh c'mon," moaned Usopp. "Sanji, you had one job!"
"Idiot," muttered Poison Ivy.
"That's . . . Sanji?" gasped Maureen as for the first time she truly got a hint of what he was capable of.
Volcana was just gaping at the pyrotechnic display.
Luffy put down the chopsticks he was about to stick up his nose as the party got into full swing. "He can handle it. Except we'd better grab all the candy while we can."
!JUSTICE!
In Gotham City, Batman prowled the streets.
It was had been a long night so far, and promised to only get worse. The last couple of Halloweens things had been relatively quiet for Gotham. He and Commissioner Gordon had made careful preparations because they knew how many of the lunatic members of the city's criminal fraternity were known to enjoy acting out on Halloween. This had made them predictable enough for Batman to pre-emptively deal with them. For example, even this year Scarecrow had been found last week by tracking shipments of chemicals to make fear toxin. He had escaped in the end, yet his plans were ruined, and he would not be able to put anything big together for tonight.
Meanwhile, the sane criminals had spent the last two years laying low on October 31st, so they didn't get caught in the crossfire. The few years before then, some of them thought the battles of the cops and the Dark Knight versus his Rogue Gallery meant they would get overlooked as they stole and killed, only to discover the Arkham Asylum inmates were happy use them as a diversion to escape said fists of Justice. Or kill them for the fun of it.
Unfortunately this encouraging trend had been broken this year, as it seemed like thugs were pouring into Gotham, and Batman was recognizing some of the super-powered variety mixed in as well. So far it was nothing too serious, however it remained a serious concern, due to how it appeared the trend was actually growing.
And there was still the Joker.
Whatever the Joker had planned, it was big, given the scale of the diversions he had left behind to keep his nemesis running around town. Impersonators of himself scattered around with all manner of 'pranks,' ranging from killer robots loaded with Joker Venom gas, to bombs that could have levelled whole city blocks (including the ignorant actors). All to keep Batman from discovering his true objective.
Or the Joker had left said decoys scattered about, and called it a night, thinking it would be funnier to leave Batman worried about whatever the Clown Prince of Crime was plotting.
"Batman," Hawkgirl's voice suddenly came over the radio. "We're coming with a Javelin to Gotham to pick you up."
"I'm busy, and don't need any help," growled Batman. While heroes like Superman could definitely make a massive dent in crime here, it would be temporary until the major leave crooks adapted and escalated. After all, most of the worst were all super-geniuses in their own ways, and the results would cost even more lives as the violence spilled over. To work in Gotham would require careful planning and long-time commitment. Which was unacceptable given the crimes that would be happening while they were occupied. Who knew when the next giant robot or alien would start terrorizing Metropolis next? At least that was what the Dark Knight told himself.
Superman answered back. "It's the Joker. He's in custody in a New Orleans hospital." Then Batman heard a little smirk in his frien—teammate's voice. "Which means he's outside of your jurisdiction."
Before Batman could make a comeback, the Man of Steel grimly continued. "And according to eyewitnesses, the Straw Hats were involved too."
"I'll be waiting," was all Batman said.
!JUSTICE!
The Justice League reached New Orleans in record time, and went straight to the specified hospital. Only Superman, Wonder Woman, and Hawkgirl were in attendance with the Dark Knight, as the rest were occupied.
An entire floor of the hospital had been cleared away, and the police guarding the room were in full riot gear. The police chief had made it clear that while he did not want any 'accidents' to befall the Joker, he was equally unambiguous that he cared more about the lives of his men than a mass-murdering nutcase. Thankfully for the nerves of everyone, the League promptly arrived, and the Joker was too injured to be a threat.
The League was given a preliminary briefing as they marched through the halls to his room.
"I can't go in," Batman whispered as he stood a few meters away from the closed door.
"Why not?" Wonder Woman asked, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder as she saw the tension in his body. He turned to face her in a motion that also dislodged her hand, and bore a terrible smirk. "Because I might not stop gloating," he confessed.
Steeling himself, Superman walked in. No less than four armed police officers were in the room, all with their weapons nervously aimed with the safeties off at the man lying in the hospital bed. Covered in casts and bandages for a broken body, and tied down with numerous security straps, it was almost comical.
Until you saw the utter malice in the Joker's eyes, all but choking the room with it.
The need to kill everyone in the room, just because they were there. To kill everyone who had seen him like this. Anyone who might possibly in the future see him like this.
Not daring to say anything and provoke the man, Superman focused his X-Ray vision on the madman's face for verification, and then left.
!JUSTICE!
"There's no doubt about it," Superman said as he walked back into the hallway. "Somehow the Joker's entire face has been restructured. He can't smile. Or laugh. Ever. The bones and muscles have all been somehow rearranged so he can only frown."
Perversely, Batman's smile died as that tidbit was confirmed. "Not good. He'll want vengeance for that." He held up a folder that the police had handed them during the trip to ensure the Joker was secured, and to escort him safely back to Arkham Asylum in Gotham. While having a bad reputation for holding the Joker, the truth was that between Batman and the staff there, the majority of the lunatic's escape attempts ended in failure. New Orleans lacked those resources.
"According to the eye witness reports, I'd say it was Black Leg Sanji who did this for sure, somehow using kicks to do it, and possibly Dr. Chopper. The last part is trickier since it was mostly children nearby. The rest of the Straw Hats were also enjoying the celebration up to the point where Blackleg caught fire. Then they stole all the candy in sight and ran off."
"I wish you were joking," deadpanned Hawkgirl.
"Do the witnesses know what the Joker planned here?" asked Superman.
"Selling poisoned apples," glowered Wonder Woman.
Batman dryly noted, "Playing the evil queen, how fitting." Then he became serious again. "What's worrying is how many people were described being with the Straw Hats. While we can't tell if it's all of them, and no one's exactly sure who was with them or not, there's definitely at least ten of them in this gang."
In a blur Superman suddenly shot back into the room. All the officers were down and bleeding, while the bed was empty and the window on the fourth floor of the building was wide open.
Quickly prioritizing, Superman grabbed the man with the bleeding jugular –as he grimly knew the Joker had expected him too— before racing away as fast as a speeding bullet to perform surgery to save his life.
The rest of the League were right behind as they performed emergency first aid.
"How'd he do this? And so fast?" wondered a shocked Hawkgirl.
Saying nothing, Batman berated himself for letting himself get sloppy and underestimating the Joker. Even with broken limbs.
The Justice League scoured the city, with full support of law enforcement, but were too late. It was Batman who found the pre-prepared escape route the Joker had hidden away for a fast exit from New Orleans.
!JUSTICE!
I'm going to kill the Joker, Poison Ivy, swore as she tracked down the source of the whimpering in her private greenhouse/home.
Deep down she knew it was an empty threat, given how the man was literally, insanely dangerous. 'Crazy' did not mean 'stupid' either, and doubtlessly he had horrific plans to kill off the rest of Gotham's criminal elite. Even if just for laughs.
The prodigy Dr. Harleen Frances Quinzel had worked at Arkham Asylum to try and cure the Joker, and instead he had dragged her into his mad world until she had emerged remade as Harley Quinn. For all that Poison Ivy loved how this made it possible for her to meet the woman who would become her best friend, Harley had tied herself to a psychotic who was just as likely to beat her as he was to tenderly kiss her. I wonder what kind of bruises she's trying to hide with her make-up this time?
After the Joker's failed attempt to kill Ivy after she and Harley had first met, she and the Joker had the equivalent of an unspoken nonaggression pact between them, and worked to keep off each other's toes. Harley now seemed to bounce back and forth between the two, unable to resist the Joker's toxic charisma.
Finally, Poison Ivy's path through her greenhouse led her to Harley and her pet hyenas trying to hide within a shadowy corner. Before Ivy could say anything, she found herself tackled by a sobbing Harley. "Oh Red! You've got to let me stay! It's my Puddin'! He's lost his sense of humour! I don't even know what he'll do now!"
"Easy, Harles," she soothingly told her. "Just tell me what's wrong!"
"He can't smile anymore! This blonde jerk with a cigarette disfigured his face!"
Ivy's veins froze. After the Halloween party had broken up, she had felt the need for space, and had asked to go back to Gotham for a few days. Just long enough to check on her babies and their security. Usopp had kindly flown her there, while they had a few friendly chats about crossbreeding various lethal plants.
"Harley, did he by chance have swirly eyebrows, with one eye hidden behind his bangs? And did he maybe do this only after the Joker said or did something to you that he shouldn't have."
"He really does love me," Harley sullenly and reflexively muttered.
"That wasn't my question," Ivy gently chided her, knowing full well that even if Harley believed what she was saying, right now even she was aware that the Joker was too dangerous to be around. Now that he could not laugh. She repeated her earlier comment.
Blinking, Harley thought about it, and then gaped at Ivy in shock. "Wait! That's right! That's exactly how he looked! How'd you know!?"
"Because," Ivy scowled, "he's one of my new," she hesitated over which word to use, "allies."
"You mean those guys you said want you to pay off for something' that they broke, except you only go along with it because they've got such cool stuff and great food?"
"I still get money too," Ivy shrugged in a what-can-you-figure expression, "and they're okay guys. Some of them really respects plants too. Plus," she admitted, "it's a good idea to keep an eye on people that dangerous." She stopped in thought, giving Harley a determined look. "And now they can make up for the mess you've caused."
Grabbing her friend, she started to drag her to the door.
"Where we goin'?"
"To the only people besides Batman who might be able to protect you! If we hurry, Usopp won't have flown too far yet."
!JUSTICE!
Morning of November 1st
"But it's your people's fault that she's in this situation!" hissed Poison Ivy. "And she can't stay in Gotham on her own now, you know what it's getting like there!"
"If she's not willing to deal with the Joker herself, when he's really is that mean to her, then I don't like her. She's too weak," Luffy bluntly said, reaching for another piece of cooked meat on his plate.
Furiously, Ivy restrained herself from attacking him, knowing full well it would accomplish nothing, as she was helpless against his own power. Worse, she even agreed with him that it would be best for Harley if she killed the Joker. The plant mistress glanced at the only other Straw Hat in the room, except Chopper would not meet her eyes, focusing on his newest herbal remedy. The two of them got along well given Chopper's appreciation for herbs, and using them for medicine. Especially since he was so reverent about it. Poison Ivy had no issue with using plants like that, so long as it was done with respect, for a more reasonable purpose, and promoted the growth of more of them.
Seeing no help from that quarter, Ivy turned back to stare daggers at Luffy as she tried to think of an argument to sway him. She racked her brain for a few minutes, until he sighed and put down his newest sandwich to levelly gaze at her. His pupils were dilated in an unnerving way, and seemed to be stabbing right into her soul as her spine crawled.
Finally he broke his gaze away and went back to eating. "She's your responsibility."
"Huh?" gaped the super-villainess.
"She's your responsibility," he repeated as if she were the idiot. "It's your job to keep her safe, but she can stay here, and you'll still retain our protection."
She stared blankly at him for a moment, digesting what he had said, then smiled and rushed off to tell Harley the good news. As she did, Nami ran into the kitchen to tell Luffy that Zoro and company had hit a little 'snag' that made her furious.
Luffy found it hilarious.
!JUSTICE!
"What'll I do now, Red?" moaned Harley as she sat on a comfy, red couch. "It feels like my life's over."
"Don't you worry," Poison Ivy said reassuringly as she rubbed her friend's back. "It'll all work out."
Truthfully, Poison Ivy knew she should say and offer more, yet for the life of her she did not know what. She had . . . trouble interacting with people. Except for Harley. And even then she never fully knew how to help her. It was all she could do to not congratulate Harley from getting out from under the Joker's thumb. The blonde needed someone to help her feel better, someone like—she snapped her fingers. While it was a bit of a gamble given how their last meeting had gone, she figured a certain chef could make up for his earlier idiocy while delivering Harley some pampering. Moreover, while he was a pervert, he never seemed to act upon it.
"Let's go to the kitchen," she told Harley. "Some food will make you feel better while I fix you up somewhere to sleep."
The rumours about her and Harles' 'relationship' aside, she figured her friend would feel better knowing there was her own private room available to her if she wanted it.
!JUSTICE!
Sanji checked himself in mid-twirl as he took in Harley sitting at the dining room table.
As was tradition, the eating area was directly connected to the kitchen, allowing instant distribution of the still-hot food, and allow whoever was cooking to instantly interact with everyone else—Sanji was bending his 'no one else cooks in here, especially Luffy' rule, in giving Maureen some cooking tips to help the former homeless girl feel more independent.
Harley however was slumped over the table, chin resting on her forearms in a picture of dejection. While her face was clean and dry, at this range Sanji's keen nose could still smell her beautiful feminine aroma tainted by tears of sorrow.
Delicately, he laid down the cup of cocoa, with marshmallows and a little cream to cheer her up.
!JUSTICE!
Harley Quinn grabbed a blond ponytail in one hand as she threw a glare at the stuffed up cook, ignoring how delicious her drink was—how did he even get the exact number of marshmallows she liked? While she had only been a newbie at Arkham Asylum, Doctor Harleen Quinzel had still been a trained psychiatrist, and recognized when someone was giving a 'patient' space. Her! Harley Quinn, the Joker's top enforcer, who kept the criminal underworld of Gotham in fear of her, and had fought Batman countless times! She was not weak! She did not need pity! Before she could yell at him however, he spoke first. "Would you like to help me clean up the kitchen?" he politely asked.
That threw Harley off, and she hesitated. Helping out, getting moving, did seem okay, so she gave a nod and stood up.
"I'll handle my knives," the cook said without looking at her. "Could you please wash the dishes in the meantime? We can dry and put them away together."
Without another word, he picked up his personal knives, and started to sharpen them. Following his lead, Harley silently washed up the sink full of dishes. They dried up without speaking, and only when they were putting them away did he say anything to help direct her.
Not that she did it 'boringly' of course. Harley showed how she was starting to feel better, by deciding to make it more 'fun' by doing things like throwing glass plates and bowls into the air and cartwheel forward to catch them.
"What're you doing now?" Harley asked, for lack of anything else to do.
"I'm going to start cooking dinner in a little bit," Sanji answered, lighting a cigarette.
"Those are bad for you , you know?" she cheekily said as she pointed at the tobacco stick.
"Chopper's been treating my lungs ever since he first caught me smoking. And the woman who taught him did the same in between reshaping my spine," he said without concern. He gave her a serious look. "The ladies have their own combat training regimen if you want to join them. They'd probably appreciate someone else to help them get stronger."
Mind short-circuiting for a moment, Harley's jaw dropped a few centimeters, before snapping it back up again. "Thanks, but maybe later," she airily said as if it were nothing. "Besides, you look like you could use some help here still."
Grinning, Sanji nodded in approval. "Alright, you can start by getting some meat from the freezer." He pointed towards a metal door. "There's some warm clothing that'll also keep you clean in there."
With a little skip, Harley went and put on one of the several outfits, and then fully processed the door.
It was half again as wide and half again as tall as a regular door, made of reinforced steel that reminded her off a bank vault. A keypad was to the side. "Uhm, why the password and junk?"
"Oh, right."
Glancing back, Harley saw Sanji concentrating on something unseen. "Okay, Luffy's far enough away. Today's code is 9-5-8-7-7-7-3-5-2-1-4-0-5-7-1-4-6-6. Once the doors are open, immediately shout 'Tofu forever.'"
Blinking, Harley punched in the numbers without Sanji repeating them. Then the door swung open.
The steel door behind it slid to the left into the wall.
The door behind that one, slid to the right.
The next door rose to the ceiling.
The next door sank into the floor.
The next one split on a seam from the bottom right corner to the top left.
The next one split on a seam from the top right corner to the bottom left.
The next door rolled aside as a big wheel.
The final door opened up to reveal a dark space at the end of the long corridor.
Unnerved, Harley promptly shouted, "Tofu forever!"
Ominous clicking sounded from within the gloomy room down the long hallway. Worse were the sounds that made her think of disarmed traps all around her just standing outside the doorway.
"What is this!?" she yelled at Sanji.
Unfazed, he just waved his hand reassuringly. "Franky was a bit depressed one day, so I asked him to make me a meat freezer that could keep even Luffy out. We haven't really tested that in practice yet, but don't worry, it's perfectly safe now."
Refusing to show any fear, Harley stormed down the walkway, fists clenched at her hips. Up ahead, lights were automatically flickering on in the room ahead.
Even so, she was a little surprised as she took just how expansive it was, with row upon row of various meats hanging up in the cold temperature. There were even a few whole cows there, with space set aside to skin, clean, and gut them. Based upon all the preserved goods to the side, it seemed like they used up every part of them, except for the hooves.
Then she saw something else.
A few seconds later she was running back into the kitchen, grabbing by the collar the man she had seen beat her Puddi—the Joker within an inch of his life, and dragged him into the freezer.
"What the heck is with that!? Is that what you're planning to do to me and Red!?"
Sanji blinked at the sight of Killer Frost still preserved within Brook's block of ice. "Oh, right," he murmured, a little embarrassed. "Thanks, we've been meaning to turn her over to the cops and get her out of our hair . . ."
!JUSTICE!
"Laugh," the Joker hissed from behind his bandages, hiding out in a suburban home.
The husband and wife who lived there were crying as they laughed, the Joker Venom in their veins contorting their faces as they cackled with forced humour.
"Laugh!" he roared, stabbing the man first, over and over again. "LAUGH I SAID!" Disgusted, he let the corpse drop, and turned upon the woman. "LAUGH!"
!JUSTICE!
Author Notes:
Sorry for the delay, getting the Halloween chapter after Christmas, but life and working on my other fics intervened.
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Regarding some comments about Jinbe's lack of screentime, I am still getting a feel for him as a character and his interaction with the crew. For now he has been content to sit back and observe while the younger members handle things, but you can be assured his opinion is still heard. He will be participating more next chapter however :-)
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For those of you who advocate killing the Joker, that will be addressed more in "Injustice for All." As for the League's lack of reaction to Sanji saving a bunch of children from being poisoned, they were more focused on the Joker and new information about the perceived threat of the Straw Hats. Saving kids WILL be addressed next chapter.
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Next Chapter: "Not all Fun and Games," where we see what Zoro, Jinbe, Brook, and Grundy were up to.
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Please review and I will get back to you!