Chapter 17: I Finally Found You
Yami sat on the rooftop of the game shop in silence, his mind bedazzled with questions. Was it right for him to just leave the previous night? He could at least thank Seto for admitting him in. But instead of thanking him, he hurt him. How cruel a person he was.
FLASHBACK"Do you have to do it, Atemu?" Seth asked his cousin, now lover. The pharaoh turned to his cousin, "I am pharaoh of Egypt, Seth, I have to do it," he said, hiding any trace of reluctance. It was the night before the day of his sacrifice.
Seth embraced his cousin fiercely, "I won't let you go kill yourself, Atemu," he said. Atemu buried his face on the other's chest, sighing, "Seth, please understand. If I don't do it, Zork will destroy Egypt, he'll kill my people," he reasoned, whispering, "He'll kill you."
"And what will happen to us?" Seth spat. Atemu closed his eyes, "Please don't do this. I know it's hard but it's hard for me, too," he whispered. "Then don't do it," Seth simply answered as he forced his pharaoh to meet his gaze. Crimson eyes brimmed with tears met cerulean ones as the taller of the two crashed their lips together.
"I love you so much, Atemu, I don't want to let you go," Seth whispered before kissing his love softly. Atemu clung on his High Priest, his tears falling, "I love you, Seth, forever," he whispered.
As the sun rose the next morning, Egypt witnessed the death of their pharaoh and took it calmly except for one particular blue-eyed person.
"I love you so much, Atemu, I'd die from the pain this causes me," he softly whispered when he was alone. He was going to be pharaoh but things won't be the same without his Atemu, things will never be the same.
END FLASHBACK
No matter how hard Yami tried to stop the tears from flowing, they kept streaming down his cheeks. Depression enveloped the once proud duelist. So this is the venom of love, he thought to himself.
"Yami, would you please go down?" Yugi called from the second floor. Yami sighed.
"Sure, hikari," he answered, forcing a cheerful voice but failed as he went back inside. "Yes, Yugi?" he asked as he went down to look for his light. What he met was a vase full of red roses and blue irises, mingled and placed together, attached to the vase was a letter.
You can never hurt someone intentionally, Yami. And no matter what you say, I still believe it's not your fault because it really is not. Understand that this is what love is. We can never love without being hurt at times. And do you know who taught me that? You. No, don't go blaming yourself again.
All those times I was with you, they were basically one of the best moments in my life. You're the only person who understood me and saw beneath my mask. How can you hurt me? If memory serves me right, you saved me thrice, accepted me and well… you trusted me enough to be your friend.
If that is what you want us to be, just friends, then I will accept your decision. If the only thing you can see in me is a friend, then I will respect that. It's better than nothing, right?
Perhaps this is the strangest way of expressing feelings but Yami, just to let you know, I love you and I'll never leave you no matter what, this I promise with all my heart.
Seto
Yami re-read the note, feeling warmth enclose his heart. He was so touched, and frankly speaking, he never felt that way with anyone before.
'I love you and I'll never leave you no matter what, this I promise with all my heart.'
Yami felt terrible. How could he allow Seto feel misery and rejection like that? He was the only person (aside from Mokuba) who saw the real Seto, whom Seto trusted, whom Seto fell in-love with, and he was causing the CEO pain. It seems that whenever he's around, Seto always gets hurt. How selfish can he be?
"Yami, are you alright?" Yugi asked.
The former pharaoh collected himself, pocketed the note and turned to his aibou, "I'm fine, hikari. I'll be in my room if you need me," he answered.
"Yami?" The former pharaoh turned to meet his aibou's gaze again. "Yes Yugi?" he asked. Yugi pointed to the flowers, "What about the flowers?" he asked. Yami paused for a while then stared at the vase, "Don't worry. I'll bring it with me," he said before taking the vase with him.
The Yugioh stared at the ceiling for god knows how long. He loved the CEO, he knows that now, but what if somebody takes Seto away too? Isn't love just one of destiny's cruel illusions? Isn't it just a dream?
"I love you but I can't let you get hurt, please understand," he whispered before taking the vase away from his sight.
Yami's POV
"I love you but I can't let you get hurt, please understand."
Love. How deadly, how painful, how unavoidable. How many times was I successfully lured into its traps? How many times did I fall? I was the King of Games but it seems not even the best of the best could escape its ways.
But despite its many illusions, it still is the most wonderful feeling in the world. To know somebody cares for you as you care for him in turn.
'And did you not crush every chance the CEO would get of being loved?'
Am I truly this insane that even my mind's against me? What was wrong with not telling him the truth? I was saving him. What if somebody decides to take revenge on me, went to him and killed him?
When I was still pharaoh, I allowed myself to fall for its many spells. I accepted what destiny before had planned. I accepted the fact that I am going to leave my beloved sooner or later. I just did and nobody objected because basically, my word is law. Pharaoh, remember?
I knew I was in-love with my cousin then; I was lost, terrified, I was alone in the dark with the weight of the world in my shoulders. And he was there, with his annoying smug smirk, he was there beside me, offering comfort… and when I couldn't see the light, he directed me to it.
But did I not say love is merely an illusion? After Zork was released, I had no choice but to die. I had no choice but to give up dreaming because I know I have to save my people. Seth eventually learned of this and I know he was hurt at knowing I won't fight the gods' decision.
I defended him, I defended the love we have for each other; I defended all of it before. And it seems the gods have a rather humorous way of punishing me. Letting me meet Lexis, seeing him making out with somebody else then going on a blind date with Mahado, meeting Seto again, falling for Mahado, seeing him die, being nearly raped, and lastly, falling for Seto. Was this a cruel joke? What's next?
Or maybe, this is just who I really am. Maybe I'm a kind of jinx who's always betrayed, attacked, and always alone. Why did I leave Seto? I loved him for pity's sake! I knew then during the kitchen encounter. Perhaps before I even met Lexis, I was just too blind to see.
He would never hurt me, he promised me that. And somehow, I know he'll keep his word. He was always there with me, always listening to me whenever I talked about Mahado, and foolish as I am, I never realized he was hurting. I god damn never sensed that he was keeping things inside him just to see me smiling. And when Mahado died, he didn't take advantage of the situation like Lexis would have done. He was there comforting me like friends do when something happens. He even put up the trouble of finding me when Lexis, that bastard, "abducted" me.
I guess some things really are not meant for the mind. Why would I think of Seto right now when I know I'm supposed to be avoiding him?
"Yami, supper. You're crying, are you alright, Yami?" my light suddenly snapped me from my thoughts. Crying? I was crying? Hastily, I wiped stray tears with my hand as we went downstairs, both of us knowing I was avoiding his question simply because I'm getting tired of people fussing over me.
"Hey Yami!" Mokuba greeted. Wait, Mokuba? What is he doing here? And if he's here then Seto's –
"I apologize for not informing you earlier I was caught up in a meeting I didn't have the chance to call. But Yugi said it was alright," Seto suddenly said, looking at me.
I couldn't speak not to mention meet his gaze. I just rejected him last night, I even ran away from him and now he's here? I gulped nervously, "I… I d-didn't expect that," I manage to answer. If his past self were here, by Ra, he would have laughed hard.
Dinner was bearable, thankfully. At least I managed not to look at the blue-eyed person in front of me. Since I was the only one who didn't have anything else to do around the house, I took up the task of washing the dishes (my now favorite chore in the house). Joey, Yugi, Mokuba and Seto were in the living room, probably watching TV.
Well that's fine with me. At least I have more time to think alone. Mokuba announced earlier that they were staying for the night, his reasons however, were unknown. Seto just shrugged and gave my hikari the 'Kaiba-brothers-only' look when Yugi asked him. I smirked but I know no one saw.
"You shouldn't be here all alone, it's lonely," I turned around and gasped. Seto was leaning on the doorframe to the kitchen, a small smile gracing his fair face.
"I'll be okay," I answered, concentrating on the dishes. You'll never know when the CEO would strike an unavoidable conversation. And I rather not have it today, thank you very much.
I didn't hear him move until I felt him pull me into an embrace; I nearly dropped the plate I was washing in surprise.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"I really missed you, I hope you're not angry with me," he whispered. Take deep breathes, Yami. He'll never know you're this affected. Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale… good.
"Maybe we should talk somewhere private," he added, not bothering the fact that I was on the verge of panicking my head off here. Man, am I a nervous wreck. Don't blame me. It's not my fault the person, who was always there for me, I rejected (and considering the fact that he was also my friend) is here in the kitchen with me the day after I rejected him.
I allowed him to lead the way since there's no use of struggling or arguing. He'd eventually find a way anyway. He leads us to the park, which was just a fifteen-minute walk from the house.
Memories started haunting me, reminding me of that fateful night when Mahado was killed. I blinked away the tears, but knowing Seto, he obviously caught one stray tear roll down my cheek and he stopped.
He didn't say anything; he just embraced me, hoping I'd stop. And I did, thankfully. Why did he bring us here anyway? And why was he not angry with me? I rejected him, shouldn't he be well at least mad?
Tensed silence enveloped us two; I can't take it anymore. "What's going on? Why are you not angry? Tell me what's happening, Seto, I'm confused," I erupted.
He met my gaze, "Why should I be angry? Because you rejected me? I already told you, Yami, that's how love works. You love and you get hurt, nothing changes that," he answered softly.
"You still love me despite… despite," I faltered; I couldn't take it anymore. He loves me and I'm in-love with him, Ra be damned. I loved him before, I loved him ever since the beginning and I will not allow this lifetime to be as poignant as the one before.
Restraint snapped, I tugged on his collar and pulled him toward me into a kiss. I let him take over, submitting myself to him. As the need for air broke us apart, I looked up at him uncertainly, not knowing his reaction. But he just smiled as he pulled me into an embrace.
"I'm sorry for hurting you, Seto," I whispered, "I love you too," I added in a hush. I eventually found out we were in the tree Mahado and I would usually sit under and I stare at him in confusion.
He smiled, "I love you with all my heart, Yami, but I know a part of your heart will always belong to Mahado," he answered.
Tears welled in my eyes as I embrace him, knowing he understands me. Ra, was I this blind that I never realized he was the one I was looking for all along?
"You're right," I whispered a few minutes later. We were already cuddled to each other under the tree, "You love and you get hurt. It only shows the wait is worth it in the end," I added before resting my head on his chest. I know, somehow, that he was smiling at me all through the night.
From a distance, a lone spirit stood watching the two lovers. 'You finally got the love you deserve, I'm happy for you, Yami,' he said, his blue eyes twinkling in love and like magic, he vanished into thin air. But his words were not left unheard for the two lovers raised their heads and saw the spirit before it disappeared.
Yami smiled, 'Thank you, Mahado, dear Mahado,' he whispered before resting his head on Seto's chest again. Somehow they knew they'd make it through.
A/N: sniffs I don't know why but it almost made me cry. I can't believe I'm finished! So, how was it? I'm sorry for letting all of you wait. Thank you for reading my story, I appreciated everything, especially the reviews I got from my reviewers. I have to admit, they were the ones who actually inspired me to work faster. Thank you cherry fantasy, Yami Val and the rest of those who reviewed from the earliest chapters. ;)
I know, I know, I'm making Yami so weak but please bear with me; I have to put up some angst here. I hope nobody's angry or something. I think everything in this chapter happened all too fast but still, I think it's quite fine. I always had this idea that Seto was not the type of person who would wait ten decades to patch things up.
Question: Do you want Seto and Yami to get married? I don't know, I already have this small idea of an epilogue but I don't think the readers would like it. Please tell me, I need to know.
Oops, I'm already rambling here. Thanks again.