Two days later, after some paper signing, legal stuff, and a dinner with May during which she sufficiently cowed Mr. Stark into fully acknowledging that he still had to answer to her first and foremost about anything and everything regarding Peter, Mr. Stark was officially his guardian. Behind May. Clearly.
And it was with no small measure of dread that Peter walked up the steps to his school that Thursday, the sun low on the horizon for the late hour his parent-teacher conferences were set at.
Ned met him at the top, jostling his shoulder and giving him a questioning frown at the look of utter despair that marred Peter's face.
"You good Peter? Could Mrs. Parker not come?" he asked concernedly.
Peter shook his head, shoulders slumped with a deep sense of resignation even as he peered over his shoulder with a vastly unnecessary amount of paranoia. "May's not coming," he somewhat affirmed, and Ned's frown deepened.
"Then why're you here? I'm preeeetty sure you have to have your guardian come with you to go," his friend checked.
"You do," Peter assented, wincing as his voice cracked, gaze flickering around.
"But May's not coming," Ned repeated back slowly, giving him a mildly concerned-for-his-mental-health look.
"M hm," Peter agreed, tone reedy as he looked behind himself again.
"Well," Ned said, still watching Peter, "my Gran's already inside," he told him, continuing on when Peter didn't respond. "You know how she's really bad with technology?" Peter nodded absently, and Ned hummed. "Well, she had, like, a thousand voicemails, and, a couple of weeks ago, she spent three days or something listening to every. single. one. I think they went back to like five years ago dude," he deadpanned, and Peter managed to snort out a strangled laugh. "But anyways, the point is, she got a message from Midtown a couple of years ago, and guess what it was about?"
Peter tilted his head, curiosity piquing. "What?"
Ned let out a mirthless chuckle, a strange sound coming from him. "You remember how I was your guy in the chair for Homecoming?" he asked, and Peter nodded cautiously, a kernel of suspicion forming within him as Ned shot him a knowing look. "And you remember how I told you later about almost getting caught in the computer labs?"
Peter gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth. "No way," he breathed.
Ned gave a sage nod. "Yeah. That teacher called Gran."
Peter looked suitably horrified, but Ned just waved him off.
"Gran didn't know what the word meant, so it was fine, but she got super upset about some teacher 'daring' to accuse me of misbehavior," he quoted, shrugging sheepishly.
Peter choked. "Seriously? You don't think your Gran'll ask-"
"Honestly? No," Ned shot down, looking somewhere between amused and long-suffering. "Even if she does, it kind of just sounds like she's saying 'pawn,' so hopefully nobody'll realize."
Peter shook his head in amazement. "Ned, I'm seeing you in a whole new light," he told his friend honestly, and Ned squinted at him before giving him a light punch to the shoulder.
They were still just standing at the entrance of the school, most of the other students that were in the same time slot having already entered, leaving a relative silence around them. Ned shuffled his feet for a moment. "Are you… waiting for someone?" he tried.
"Mm," Peter hummed noncommittally.
"That's probably a yes," Ned mused. "But don't they have to be, like, a legal guardian or something?" he questioned.
Peter's shoulders slumped and he let out a sound that was distinctly reminiscent of a whimper, turning to fully face his friend, eyes wide and pleading as he snapped his arms out to grasp both of Ned's shoulders in a desperate hold. "Ned. Ned. I don't. I can't - last week Mr. Stark found out that our school doesn't believe I have an internship so the next day he came over to the apartment and had dinner with us - May cooked meatloaf but when she stepped out the kitchen I super duper 'accidentally' dropped it all over the floor so we had to order out for pizza - and he got her to agree with him becoming my other guardian but only after she threatened him with words I am not allowed to repeat and it's official and now he's gonna come here any minute to meet my teachers and I have no idea what he has planned!" Peter burst out, shaking Ned, whose mouth was hanging open and eyes were practically bugging out.
"Well," drawled a familiar voice from behind him, causing Peter to release his near catatonic friend and whirl around to face the source of all his problems. Mr. Stark raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lip twitching up into a snobbishly superior grin. "I can't say I don't have plans," he acknowledged glibly, pausing for a second and picking at his lapel before clarifying with a, "because I definitely do," his smirk growing at the ever mounting look of despair Peter shot him.
"Mr. Stark," Peter squeaked out, his hands automatically raising to give the man a pair of finger guns preceded by a little snap before his arms shriveled back to his sides.
The billionaire's eyebrows raised a smidge higher over his iconic sunglasses, and Peter willed himself not to let the fact that he was dying of mortification become a visible thing even though he knew it most definitely was.
"Mr. Stark," he repeated, a hair calmer, at least outwardly, and he moved to the side so that he was standing next to Ned instead of in front of him, choosing to completely ignore anything and everything the man had said so far. "This is my friend, Ned," he introduced evenly.
And then it was Ned's turn to squeak, the teen vibrating so hard that Peter squinted at his feet to make sure he wasn't actually levitating. Ned's mouth gaped open and closed a couple of times before he seemed to snap out of his silence and veer right into the other direction. " it's such an honor to meet you sir - you're, like, my favorite hero" - Peter shot him a withering look - "and. Oh my gosh. You're Tony Stark. You're Iron Man. You're TonyStarkandIronManohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh pleasesignmyforehead," he gasped out.
Mr. Stark gave a crisp nod as if this was a totally normal reaction to his presence, which, it probably was. "Nice meeting you, Ed," he sniffed, and Peter rolled his eyes into the far recesses of his cranium, shooing the sharply dressed man into the building ahead of him so he could push back his own doomed fate and also calm down his friend.
Mr. Stark went easily enough, strolling into the building as if he owned the place. Peter very much so hoped that he did not.
He turned to his friend, whose breaths were coming in small, erratic puffs. "Iron Man almost knows my name," Ned whispered reverently, staring sightlessly towards the doors Mr. Stark had disappeared through.
Peter sighed. "I'm pretty sure he knows your actual name, Ned. He's just kind of a…" he paused. "He's just like that," he decided on, and Ned gave a barely audible squeal.
"Mr. Stark made a joke about my name," he said with quiet happiness, the reverence in his tone equivalent to what one might hold for a prideful story to tell their grandchildren one day, making Peter shake his head in fond exasperation.
"Alright. Lets go," he said with finality, grabbing Ned's arm and dragging him into the school.
It'd be fine. Yeah.
He nodded his head resolutely.
It'd be completely fine.