DISCLAIMER: SKIP BEAT! and its associated characters are the work of Yoshiki Nakamura. This author claims no ownership of Skip Beat or any of its characters. All other rights reserved.

Author's Notes at bottom of the page.

Chapter VI: Madness Most Discreet

A Scene in Three Parts

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs;

Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;

Being vexed, a sea nourished with loving tears.

What is it else? A madness most discreet,

A choking gall, and a preserving sweet.

Part I: Kuon

The walk down the hall into his suite was the longest he'd taken in his life. Love is a peculiar kind of torture, he thought. He had broken out into a cold sweat as his heart raced, his stomach plummeting downwards as if on a rollercoaster. Everything was full of her, the feel of her, the sound of her heartbeat. He still felt her hand in his as if its ghost lingered there...he swore her smell was all over him, branding him as thoroughly as an iron. He had pulled himself away through sheer willpower alone, and only the surprise on her face as he traced her lips had stopped him from kissing her right then and there. Desire...lust...all that was something he'd experienced in the past, he'd had his fill of it as a rich teenager in LA. There had never been a shortage of warm bodies for someone like him. To say that he desired her would have been accurate, except that desiring her seemed a cheap way of describing how his body gravitated to her, how he felt her presence receding behind his back as he walked away. The wholeness he had felt on the riverbank seemed like an illusion, and yet he knew that if she let him, he'd spend his whole life chasing that feeling of completeness with her and within her so long as they lived. Every other thought was gone. As far as he was concerned, nothing that had happened in between their first parting as children and their subsequent reunion counted as real. Who was Ren Tsuruga? Did he even exist? Damn it all, damn Lory, damn showbiz, damn the farce of the existence he'd been living. His life was a girl with amber eyes whose soul he had met long before this lifetime.

Insanity, he thought, as he pulled open his door. Insane, unsound, mad, his thoughts continued as he pulled off his yukata and shed it slipshod on the floor. A shower, cold, to calm the fire in his head. He was in a daze as he reached into his suitcase to pull out a set of pajamas, yanking them free under a pile of other clothes and then

THUMP.

The sound of a small, heavy object falling onto the tatami floor shook him out of his daze.

Rick's watch.

A standard Relucross, well-worn leather band and cracked sapphire face, hands stopped at 2:13 for the moment Rick had died.

The sight of it stopped him cold.

Kyoko's Corn of river and ryokan did not wear Rick's watch. He had no need of shackles. He had gone to sleep as a fairy prince and awakened at dawn that morning as a man without a history.

But Kuon Hizuri, who had fled LA in shame and grief, the one who knew the taste of blood from a split lip and the snap of a nose breaking under his fist-that Kuon needed a reminder of the price of his sins. That Kuon had tucked this watch away with the dog collar Ren Tsuruga wore because to wear them here would be clues to anyone looking to identify him.

And now the watch was on the floor, as if Rick himself were saying "How dare you forget me so easily?"

If Kuon hadn't known what it was like to be shot down out of the sky before, he did now. More effectively than any cold shower could have done, the breathless promise of the last twenty-four hours shattered under the solid reminder of Rick's loss. The shackles closed in, reminding him, willingly or not, that his life was not his to do with as he wished. He was no fairy prince. He was not free to pursue the girl on the other side of the building, was in no position to offer her anything except, perhaps, a smile goodbye.

Little prince, he thought, did you forget that you were under a curse?

Out loud, he said, "I'm sorry, Rick. I hear you. I don't deserve her. Not after what I did to you and Tina."

For the millionth time, he shut his eyes and made himself relive the night Rick died. Remembered the ambush by a coalition of his childhood bullies spewing pithy racist nonsense, the feel of his muscles executing punches and kicks by rote as he dispatched them into one large, broken heap. He remembered Cedric's groan as his uppercut connected, the smell of sweat and blood and metal mixed with the rancid trash in the darkened alleyway. He made himself remember how Rick had held his arm back, yelled at him to stop the rampage he was on, remembered how his smile had snarled upwards as he gave into an animal instinct that cried out for an eye, a tooth, and a pound of flesh. Oh, he had loved it. He'd loved it too much. He'd loved every minute of it, loved grinding his heel into every single one of their defeated faces, feeling their bodies smack against the concrete. There was no doubt that he'd broken his fair share of bodies that night. He had been a predator. When Cedric ran, he remembered how his very blood rejoiced at the chase that followed. But it was the squeal and crash and scream that truly haunted him, the sick sound of a body bouncing off of the windshield, the sound of Tina's high, keening wail that stopped him in his tracks then and stopped him in his tracks now. "Murderer," she had called him, as Rick's blood seeped onto the pavement. Murderer, he thought, I am a murderer. Murderer, murderer, murderer. A monster. Because only monsters took that kind of joy in destruction, and he had yet to pay for the sins he'd committed that night. These were the things he needed to remember, the things he needed to live, the things that kept him straight-laced and disciplined as he lived and worked as Ren Tsuruga. Could one do penance if one forgot one's sins?

Who was he, then, to reach out to anyone with those bloody hands? Yes, he'd told Kyoko a little bit of what had happened, but his omissions were worse than lies. He'd told her that Rick had died because of him, had told her he'd gone on a rampage. She had taken it in stride in her sweet way...but would she still have done so if he'd told her the truth? Told her that he enjoyed it. That he had rejoiced in seeing his bullies unconscious, bleeding, and in pain. That he had gloried in the power of it, in winning. Did someone like that belong with a girl like her? Did someone who could forget what he'd done-even for a second, much less an entire day-belong with someone like her? Could someone like her be with him without recoiling in revulsion?

The entire day played back in his head. The meeting in the forest, the breakfast, the happy blur of the matsuri. In one day, he had forgotten everything in the presence of the girl, forgotten that the condemned don't have the luxury of wooing their one true love. One true love? he thought. Since when did I start thinking of her like that? Even supposing true love existed, what was he even doing? He was leaving in a few weeks, going back to life as Ren Tsuruga, working towards that elusive goal of international stardom.

And yet he hadn't felt so much joy in years. Perhaps not ever.

Kuon had clung onto his desire to act as a life raft after he left to rebuild as Ren. It had been the nucleus of his new life. Ren was a man driven by a focus on excellence in his craft, to the exclusion of all else. Professionalism was his byword. He was polite and friendly to all, but kept everyone at an arm's length. Five years into his ascendancy as Japan's 'top star,' he had no close friends. Tabloids had linked him months ago to Kana, but the speculation had died as neither star was seen in the other's company. His quip to Lory had been a last-ditch attempt to throw off the man's probing. Yashiro, perhaps, had gotten to know him slowly as a manager-though observant as he was, he still hadn't noticed that Ren's polite smile was used to hide his disapprobation for various things. His social life consisted primarily of obligatory appearances.

A paper doll, Lory had called him.

And now the paper doll was on fire.

He wanted her. He wanted to disappear into the forest with her and pretend that nothing else existed.

Would it be possible? he wondered. Would she come back with me to Tokyo? He felt guilty for even considering it. She had told him, over the evening, the bits of her story he didn't know about. He'd known that she had moved to Tokyo and been betrayed by Sho, prompting her to do the LME audition. That much he'd found out at LME. What he hadn't known was how hard she'd worked to pay for the apartment and the food that asshole had taken for granted and how she'd given up going to high school for him. How she had subsumed every desire that was natural for a fifteen-year-old girl-clothes, makeup, joy-to keep him housed and fed. With all that in mind, would she even consider moving to Tokyo for another man?

The only answer he could come up with was no.

It was a pity that Lory had rejected her audition. He'd changed his mind, Kuon knew, had even cooked up some hare-brained scheme that only Lory could cook up...something about a special section to "teach her how to love." By then it was too late and Kyoko had come back here. Had he known then what he knew now, he would've protested vehemently. The girl who had so violently overthrown her audition had been denied love all her life, and yet had a heart that couldn't help but do its best. He could see it in her, as clear as day. That was her nature-she couldn't help it, try as she might, hurt though she might be. If Lory had said "yes," had given her a chance to stay, what would've happened? Surely he would have recognized her, eventually, and maybe then they would have been able to pursue a relationship as actors in the same world. That would have made a trans-Pacific relationship more possible if he succeeded in crossing over to the American market.

Now? Now it seemed all but impossible. He couldn't see a way to live without acting, and his acting would take him far away from Kyoko. And Kyoko was tied to this ryokan now. What surprised him the most was that the Fuwas had adopted her and made her their heir, cutting Sho off in the process. Even then, he had obligations to Rick's memory-and an unsavory, violent nature whose existence he'd forgotten in the last twenty-four hours. And yet knowledge warred with need. The responsible thing would be to apologize to Kyoko for being a terrible flirt and maintain his distance for the rest of his stay. He'd be Ren to her, again, if he had to. He didn't trust himself to do it. He was pretty sure she'd see through it. And that was the problem-what he knew he should do was very different from what he wanted to do, and this was the first time since running away from LA that the two paths differed.

It was a mess. He had no one he could talk to about it.

In the past, the person who'd counselled him on all things "girl" had been Rick, and Rick was gone. His parents hadn't talked to him since he left for Japan, though he'd seen Kuu from a distance as he promoted a movie in Tokyo. Lory was out of the question. Yashiro would be almost as bad as Lory. And Kijima? Kijima was barely more than a professional acquaintance, and a notorious playboy to boot.

Oh Rick, he thought, playing with his phone. I wish I hadn't killed you.

Idly his fingers dialed Rick's old number from memory. In the days immediately after Rick's death, Kuon had called this number, just to hear Rick's voice on the voicemail, and then to leave a message as if Rick would come back and hear it as if he'd just been...camping out of range. Or accidentally forgot to charge his phone. "You chicken," he'd say, and then yell at him for leaving him inanities. The number always went straight to voicemail, and the voicemail box was quickly filled with his messages-some tearful, some desperate, all drunk. His last call had been right before the plane started its take-off run for Japan, one last attempt to leave a message that would never be heard.

He had expected the number to have been disconnected a long time ago. But instead, it rang.

Kuon almost dropped the phone in surprise, and then thought It's been five years. Maybe they've reassigned the number.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing went the second tone.

Hang up, Kuon, he thought to himself, he's not answering the phone. Someone else got the number.

Just as he was reaching for the red button, a voice answered. A woman's voice, vaguely familiar. "Hello?" it said, coming in loud and clear from across the Pacific.

I should hang up...hang up hang up…

The silence lengthened. He could hear the woman breathing into the phone.

"Hello?" she said again.

In a flash, Kuon recognized the voice. Tina, he thought, shocked.

The voice on the line quieted and said, "Kuon?...It's you, isn't it?"

Kuon sat silent, not knowing what to say.

"Kuon? Wait...don't hang up...I…"

"Yes, it's me." He forced the sounds out of a throat that felt parched. He felt like a fifteen-year-old boy again. The words were heavy on his tongue. He felt raw, unprepared, exposed.

"Thank god. It's really you, isn't it? Oh god...I've wanted to talk to you for so long now."

As she spoke he remembered her holding Rick's broken body, the orange street light dyeing the red blood black. He hadn't expected the emotion in her voice. "How are you?" he asked, choking on years of unspoken regret. The banality of the question stung. 'How are you?' he thought, Years have passed, you killed the love of *her* life, and all you can say is 'How are you?'

But the voice continued, "I was so worried about you...no one knew where you were...your parents wouldn't even speak to me. I've thought about this moment for so long and now I don't even know what to say."

"I'm sorry, Tina," he said. The words tumbled out. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I killed Rick. I'm sorry for everything..." He stopped. Any more and he would have sobbed, and he was a grown man now, past the point of sobbing.

"No, Kuon," came the response. "You were a child and I was distraught. I've wanted to tell you I was sorry for years now. I never should've called you a murderer."

"But you were right. If Rick hadn't come after me...if he hadn't met me, he'd...he'd still be alive." Kuon felt his voice cracking. Like a little boy, he thought.

"No, I wasn't right. Were you driving that car, Kuon? Did you make him run after you?"

Kuon didn't answer her.

"You know, it took me months before I could even think straight after the funeral. By the time I could, you were gone."

She sighed. "You know Rick and I shared a mobile plan...after he died I kept his number. Seemed like a good way to remember him, keep a part of him alive. And I heard the messages you left for him...it's why I tried to find you. To take back what I said. Rick went after you because he didn't want you ruining your life getting revenge on that asshole. He saw you as his little brother. And after I heard your messages, I was so worried that you would hurt yourself. I was worried that I'd ruined your life, too. And when I couldn't find you...I was half afraid that I had cursed you by telling you I would never forgive you. I was afraid I'd be cursed myself-"

"I was scared. My parents didn't know what to do with me, they were worried too. I had to get away. I had to find someplace where I wasn't just my parents' kid."

"So where are you?"

Kuon paused. "I'm...overseas. Nowhere near Hollywood. Or Cedric."

"It's Japan, right? I recognized the country code on your phone number."

Kuon blinked. Not so long ago, the observation would have caused him to panic-the fear of being outed used to be a palpable one. But after tonight...and with Tina...he felt like he didn't care.

"Yes. Japan."

"Doing…?"

"I'm acting here. Under a stage name, but I'm getting there."

"I'm glad. What's the stage name? I'm sure I would recognize you, though. How many blond Japanese actors are there?"

"Well...I'm not blond here. And I hope you'll forgive me, but I'm not ready to come out as 'me' yet."

"I understand. Are you happy, though?"

"People keep asking me that."

"Are you?"

"I'm...ok. I'm working hard. Trying to make a decent name for myself. Trying to make up for things. But...I don't deserve to be happy. Not after what I did."

"That's not true, Kuon. I miss him a lot," Tina said. "Every day. Every day there's something I want to tell him. But even I've managed to find some happiness…"

Her voice was interrupted by a squeal and a giggle.

"Wait, hold on, sweetie, let mom get it…"

Kuon's eyes went wide at the small voice and Tina's response to it. "Tina..wait...you have a kid?"

"Yup! And another on the way. Does that surprise you?"

"A little."

Tina sighed. "For a long time, I couldn't even think about anyone else, you know? Couldn't even put his things away. Lived in the same place. He'd just bought some beer that night and he had it in the fridge. I couldn't bear to drink it or throw it out. I just left it there waiting for him to come back and drink it. I didn't wash his laundry for a year because they still smelled like him. Until they didn't anymore."

Kuon imagined it. In the months right after Rick's death, he'd wanted to do the same. Even now, when he thought about it, he froze, feeling as if his body were slowly turning into rock. But Lory had kept him from sitting still, and the sheer shock of living in a whole new country under an assumed identity kept him from remembering what it must've been like for Tina.

"I still wear the watch he gave me."

"So do I. Rick was such a Relucross loyalist," she said, laughing softly. "Ok, sweetie, don't eat that...stop, ok…I know you didn't ask, but her name's Erica. She's turning three this year." She paused as a new wave of squeals came over the phone. "Shhhh...Erica, mommy's trying to talk to an old friend, ok?"

Kuon's heart quivered a little, hearing her say that. An old friend, she'd called him. Not 'murderer,' not 'killer.' "Erica," he said out loud. "After Rick?"

"Yes. Mark...my husband. I married Mark. Do you remember him? He and I got a lot closer after Rick died. Took care of me. Made sure I was eating. And then he just became a part of my life and I couldn't imagine life without him. I don't think either of us meant to fall in love with each other, but...I think if he hadn't been around I might've…"

She didn't finish the sentence. Kuon did remember Mark-a nice guy, part of the same production company that Rick had been a part of. Rick and Mark had hung out a few times but he couldn't remember if he'd ever shown an interest in Tina...not that it should matter to him.

"...Well, anyway...Mark and I both felt that we wanted to honor Rick by naming Erica after him. Because I never stopped loving him. And because I think Rick would understand how I wanted to remember him."

Kuon pictured Tina and a little girl that looked like her miniature, walking on a Californian beach, white dresses and hair tousled by the wind. The image superimposed itself on the picture he kept in his mind of Tina covered in Rick's blood, contradicting it, replacing it, and then forcing him to understand that Tina had not stayed still.

"Kuon?" Tina asked. "Do you...do you hate me? Do you think I betrayed him?"

Kuon couldn't answer for a minute. He'd assumed that Tina had hated him since the night Rick died. As for the second question...he'd been asking himself the same thing for years. Asking himself how he could move forward as a successful actor, how he could ever be able to do enough good to offset the tragedy he'd put Rick and Tina through. And yet here she was, asking him the same question. In no reality could he ever imagine Rick faulting Tina for finding her own happiness when he couldn't be there for her. Rick wasn't that kind of guy.

Rick wasn't that kind of guy.

Rick wasn't that kind of guy.

The realization hit him in slow motion. People had been telling him this all along, he knew. But he had dismissed their words because they hadn't been there that night. He'd dismissed their words because hearing them felt like it cheapened the pain of Rick's loss. And yet the one person who had been there was asking him if he thought she had betrayed Rick by finding happiness.

"How could I possibly hate you? He loved you, you loved him. I took that away. If anything, you should hate me. But no, I don't think you betrayed him. I think he's still watching over you and making sure you're happy."

"I don't hate you, Kuon. I'll keep saying it. I'll regret the things I said that night for the rest of my life. Have you been thinking of that this entire time?"

There was a small ember of light in the question and Kuon grasped at it, feeling a small twinge of warmth where only black had been just minutes ago.

"It's hard to forget. And sometimes I think that Rick would've wanted me to just freeze and disappear. I just...I guess I thought I'd spend my life trying to do good but not asking for too much, you know?"

"I know. I'm sorry-but you and I both know he wouldn't have wanted that. But you probably need someone to remind you, the way Erica reminds me that there's no way Rick wouldn't have wanted me to love her and be happy."

"Until now, everything made sense," he mused. "I didn't really want anything else except to make it up to Rick. I thought I couldn't have anything precious to me.I was going to keep my head down, work on my goals, try to make everyone proud...and I thought that was enough."

"Ah," she said, and Kuon heard, for the first time since they started talking, the start of a smile in her voice. "So something's changed?"

"Yeah," Kuon replied. For all his time as Ren Tsuruga, he felt like he was fifteen again, at Rick's house on a hot summer night, sitting with Rick and Tina at their kitchen table while they ate pizza. "Umm. Something. I used to talk to Rick about all this stuff. Now, I don't really have anyone to talk to. I was just wishing he was around so I called his old number."

"Ohhhhhh...Girls," she said, and he could see her grinning now. "You used to call and ask him about girls. Oh god, Kuon, seriously?" She let out a brief laugh that had no bitterness in it and he joined her, because they could both remember Rick rolling his eyes at Kuon's adolescent misadventures. "You used to call him all the time...please tell me you've gotten better at this."

"Well...umm…"

"I don't believe it."

"Well-"

"Seriously?!"

"I mean…"

"How many of them, Kuon?"

"How many? Why do people always a"

"Back then, you were like a revolving door...Lorraine, Christina, wait, what was the redhead's name…?"

"Michelle?"

"Yeah, that one. God. You were so sweet and so clueless at the same time. Rick called you the 'purest playah on the Boulevard.' And you were so cute they all chased after you, but damn, Kuon, you were an idiot. A lot."

The good-natured ribbing was making him blush. "I mean, I thought I was treating them OK. Was it that bad?"

"You were always nice to them, but a relationship is more than buying someone gifts and sleeping with them, Kuon. I get that you were a horny teenager, but it was obvious none of those girlfriends were gonna work out. Girls want more of you than just your courtesy and your dick."

"Ouch."

"So I'm assuming that because you're calling at...hmmm what time is it over there...it's 11:17 here…

He looked over at his nightstand. "It's a sixteen hour time difference...so it's after three in the morning over here," Kuon responded.

"Well, I'm not Rick. But...remember all those pizza nights? I'm half of the Rick and Tina Girl Support Team. So. What's her name?"

Kuon choked.

"Aww. Kuon, come on. You can say it….Erica, babe, come over here..."

"K-k-yoko. Ahem."

"Kyoko. And? What's she like?"

Kuon told her about it...meeting her as a crying six-year-old, her audition at LME, and the near perfect day they'd just spent with each other. The way he'd held her hand. Holding her on the riverbank.

"Wait, so you haven't even kissed her?" Tina asked, amused.

"It's a little soon, don't you think?"

"Honestly? You used to be a lot more aggressive with that."

"I'm out of practice."

"What? How long has it been?"

"Um. Six years?"

"Wait. SIX years?"

"I haven't dated at all in Japan. Not since before Rick died, actually."

"So you've been having one night stands? I'm disappointed in you, Kuon."

"NO! No...I mean. Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Oh Kuon. Because of Rick?"

"At first it was just because of Rick. And then it was a whole lot of other reasons. There wasn't ever anyone I was ever interested in, and the press here can be vicious. So there hasn't been anyone except her, and I'm beginning to think that the reason why none of the girls in LA worked is because they weren't her."

"Not gonna lie...it's a little creepy you're thinking of a six-year-old as your first love, dude."

"Of COURSE I'm not thinking of her as a six year old! But...I think that the first time I was here was the last time I was really happy. You know? Before Cedric started and all the...stuff. With the fights. And the cars. That stuff. But I never forgot her." He paused. "And...maybe…"

"Maybe?"

"They have this legend in Asia-not just Japan. About a red thread that connects destined lovers. Brings them together across time and space. That kind of thing. I think that she's mine. Actually, I know it."

"Huh," Tina said, pensive. "You've never sounded like that before."

"I've never felt this way before."

"It's kinda adorable."

"Tina-"

"I'm sorry, I'm not making fun of you. I can tell how much you care about her, and I've never seen you like that before. I'll admit I'm worried that it's only been a day since you found her and you're talking about destiny…"

"Wasn't it like that with you and Rick, though? Rick used to say he knew as soon as he saw you that he was going to put a ring on it."

"Yes. But we were together for years before we got engaged…"

"I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"No, don't be. I've learned to live with the memories now. And I do remember. One moment life was just whatever and then the next...everything had changed. I just want to make sure you're thinking straight."

"I'm definitely not thinking straight. I called a dead man in the middle of the night about a girl who I've really just known for a day. But Tina?"

"Yes?"

"I'd go to war against Heaven itself for her."

"So...if you know how you feel about her...why did you really call? It doesn't sound like you're conflicted at all about whether you should be with her. And I think it's obvious she's at least attracted to you, even if you're going to have to take your time winning her over."

"I...I guess...I guess I didn't know it, but I think I wanted to ask Rick for permission. To be happy. You know I'd taken his watch off just while we were out tonight? And then it just dropped onto the floor, like he was reminding me that I owed him."

"Maybe he wanted you to call me. Maybe it wasn't so much 'you don't deserve to be happy' as it was 'give Tina a call and she'll set you straight.' I don't think you needed his permission to be happy. And you know he'd want you to be."

"I don't think I knew that. Not really. I don't think I realized it until you answered the phone. And."

"And?"

The words came out in a rush. "I don't know what I'll do once I have to leave this inn. I'm going to have to go back to Tokyo and she'll be here...and I don't know if she'll want to have anything to do with me once I do. And it's gotten all mixed up and complicated and everything was simple before I got here and now...now it's like nothing matters but being with her but it's not like I can give up on the career I've built up, but we've got totally different lives and someday I want to come back to the States and she'll still be in Kyoto running this inn...and what if I ever go berserk again like I did the night Rick died and hurt her by accident? I don't think I could ever live with it..."

"Kuon...stop. Stop. Calm down."

He whimpered.

"Pfft. Dude. You're a grown-ass man. No, wait, you're what, 21? OK, sorry, I misspoke. You're a slightly older child now."

"I just don't see how it's going to work, and I want to make it work. But I think I'd have to give up acting and stay here with her, and I'm not sure I can do that."

"First of all, I think you're assuming a lot. You need to talk to her...you don't even really know what she wants. You don't even know if she's ready for a relationship. You're here talking about destiny and as far as she knows, you're just the dude who held her hand. So spend time with her. Find out what she likes, what she wants her future to be. If she wants to be with you, and you want to be with her, you owe it to each other to figure out if there's a path you can walk together. You can't figure that out alone."

"I guess you're right."

"Second...if you think you're going to be violent, you need counseling. You need help. You need to acknowledge that it's a problem and you have to work on it. I've never known you to abuse a woman, and I'm not saying that it's not a problem, but you need to get that straight with yourself before you hurt her or anyone else, because I swear, stage name or not I will find you and end you if you hurt anyone. And I'll bring Rick and he'll take over afterwards."

Tina stopped to catch a breath.

"But Kuon?"

"Yeah?"

"When Rick died, he died as my fiance and not my husband because I wanted us to have this ridiculous big wedding and we couldn't afford it right then. I think about how he wanted to run off to Vegas with me and all the times I said 'no' because I wanted some stupid wedding in Beverly Hills. I think about the time we wasted worrying about stupid shit instead of spending time with each other. All that shit we wasted time on and none of it mattered when he was dying. So when I realized I loved Mark, I told Rick that I would love him forever but I couldn't throw away the time I have in this world."

"You don't know when she's going to die. You don't know when YOU'RE going to die. And if this girl really means as much as you say she means, don't waste the time you've got by her side to make sure she knows exactly where you stand."

"Yeah."

"So get to know her."

"Yeah."

"Will you send me a picture? Of the two of you?"

"Only if you'll send me one of you, Mark and Erica."

"Of course.

"Tina?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"Same. This...this was important."

A childish giggle interrupted the call as Tina said "I want you to call me from now on. I'm gonna have to get going. We're taking Erica out for a beach playdate. Take care, ok?"

"Have fun out there."

"I mean it, Kuon, call me."

"I will."

Kuon hung up as Erica's faint laughter came across the line. Outside, the birds were raising their pre-dawn chorus.

It was just short of twenty-four hours since he'd decided to go for a walk in the woods, and the world was a different place. Truly, Lory's intuition was a hell of a power. If anyone had told him a month ago that he'd be spending a sleepless night pining over a girl, he'd have laughed. And yet so much...so much...had changed. The night had felt like a lifetime. He fell into bed, suddenly exhausted, feeling Tina's parting words like a benediction and a balm over his old wound.

All he could do was offer Kyoko his heart and find a way to walk the world with her. He was determined to make it work.

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Author's notes:

1. Romeo and Juliet, Act 1, Sc. 1

2. My humblest apologies for how long these chapters are taking. I had a hard time with these, because honestly I really enjoyed writing the fluff in Chapter 5 but knew that the characters weren't really ready for the superfluff that they're headed to just yet. I figured Kuon had the longest way to go on this night, so he got his chapter first. Initially, I was going to put everything in one chapter, but things got too long. So instead of one super long chapter, I guess I'm putting out three normal length ones? I am still working on the next two, though, so I apologize they didn't all come out at the same time like I wanted them to.

3. I cannot thank you enough for reading, if you're reading, and reviewing, if you're reviewing! Really really.