Long A/N: First, I want to thank all the reviewers of my Roy/Riza songfice: oOo-Hiya-oOo, flOofymikO, Hawkeye Chuui, C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only, MoonStarDutchess, Demon Slaying Hanyou, SapphireSteel, ShadowFlareon, kimmy, and Arrieth.

Secondly, this is a 2-part fic, inspired by the Fullmetal Alchemist panel at Shiokazecon (hosted by Ed's VA Vic Mignogna) and the song "Brothers." I love both the English and Russian versions, and the lyrics really touched me since I'm an older sibling myself. Also, I decided to use the Japanese words for brothers in the chapter titles because I find it really neat that Japanese (and Chinese) has words that specifically mean "older brother" and "younger brother." The distinction is important especially in a fic like this.

Finally, I would like to dedicate this story to Vic Mignogna, who had me tearing up with a touching Ed monologue and little rendition of "Brothers," and my own little brother, Eric. --Hana Li

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist or either versions of the song "Brothers" do not belong to me. However, my interpretation on the theme does.

Brothers

Otouto

Al, did I ever tell you how sorry I am? It's my fault for dragging you into this mess, and therefore, I am the one who took your body. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve your love, but I don't know what I'd do without you.

I am weak. Forever fixated on things I cannot fix myself, I wind up playing the fool. A little embarrassment I can handle, but when I hurt those around me, I can't deal. That's how I always am. I can never accept the truth so I have to go out and try to fix it—make it acceptable for me. I'm the one with a God complex. However, I'm only mortal so the more I try to correct my mistakes, the worse I make them. Then I have to drag everyone down with me because I lack the gall to confront my sins on my own.

When we were little, Mom would always ask me to look out for you. How am I supposed to do that when I can't even take care of myself? Even worse, I just end up hurting you. I'm a selfish, cowardly, poor excuse of an older brother.

You're all that I have though, and you're the only one who truly understands me. No one else comes close—not the Colonel, not Teacher, not Winry. Everything that we've been through. . . if there's one good thing that came out of it, it's that I learned the true meaning of being brothers. I don't see you as the annoying, softhearted little brother that got taller than me like I used to. No, you're the blood in my veins, the missing piece to my life, the soul that makes me human.

I'm glad you haven't wound up like me, Al. A part of you remains innocent, untainted by my blasphemy. That's why I can't let you be a dog of the military. I'll do the dirty work since my hands are already stained. You can still be whomever you want, and I'm going to make sure you have a future.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm an idiot for trying to get our bodies back. There I go again, trying to fix things, but this time, I'm not doing it for myself. That's what gives me hope to keep on trying.

If only we had swapped places. . . I should've been the one that lost his body. Still, I wouldn't want to have inflicted the pain of seeing your brother get taken away by God knows what. Believe me when I say I would've given everything to have you back. You should've been worth more than just my leg. That's why I'll do whatever it takes to restore your body. It might be a selfish desire, but it's the best that I can do to make things up to you.

I know I don't tell you this enough, but I love you, little brother.