"Okay, you can get dressed in the bedroom there. I'll wait here." Like a friend would Shego thought, Only I don't WANT to be your "friend"! Let alone your "Big Sister"... aww dammit... SUCH the idiot, Shego...
"------------------------------------------------------"
Well, THIS is depressing... Shego thought while she waited for Kim to change, my Mistress is a fucking school-girl – who doesn't even masturbate. Who's never had an orgasm in her fucking life... all sixteen years of it. Gah! How could I BE so stupid! I was actually counting – COUNTING – on hot-sex-tonight... I'll be lucky if I see her naked before NEXT Christmas! She sighed heavily several times. On the bright side, she was no longer mind-numbingly horny – if that was a bright side. What she needed right now was alcohol... lots and lots of alcohol. And maybe a pack of Pall Malls, to go with it. Fuck quitting. She'd quit two years ago... time to start back up again, eh?
She was SO not looking forward to this dinner. Red Lobster. Oh, gawd... What the hell was she supposed to talk about, now? Everything lay in ruins.
When Kim appeared at the bedroom door in her little red dress, the sight – which should have made Shego's heart jump – only broke it instead. THAT is what I'm missing... Thanks, Kim, for showing me what I can't have. Oh, fuck it...
"Well? Whaddaya think?" Kim asked from atop her surprisingly uncomfortable high-heels.
"'S nice, Kim" she said, trying not to show her dejection too openly (and doing a poor job of it), "You ready, then?"
"Uh... yeah. If you are..."
"I am. Let's go."
"It's nice, Kim"? I spent more money than I had, had to FIGHT with Monique to let me buy it, but I was just SO SURE you'd be... and all I get is "It's nice, Kim"? Shego... what did I do? Is it that I wasn't ready to get naked with you before we even have our first date? Is that it?
Kim followed Shego out the door, walking very carefully – she wasn't used to walking in heels... it took a lot of concentration.
The ride to the restaurant was almost as un-enjoyable as the last moments in her apartment had been. If it weren't for the night air blowing through her hair and the stars above, it might have been a total loss. But the convertible, the night, Shego... all the elements were in place for a romantic drive. All the elements except the mood of the participants. Shego was verging on anger, and Kim was verging on resentment because of it.
And for Shego, it would get worse before it got better.
Because there was Bonnie – with her dyke girlfriend – waving to Kim to come join them. Well, that would actually suit Shego fine – she didn't feel much like talking anyway – especially not to Kim. Shego didn't know Bonnie, but obviously Kim did, and they moved to a larger round table.
And finally, just to complete the picture, like a final insult, in walks Buffoon Sidekick with his girlfriend. More school-kids. Great. Just fuckin' great.
Shego flagged down the waitress, "Yeah. Vodka martini. Double. As little vermouth as you can get away with. And when it's gone, I'll have another. Keep 'em coming." The teenagers all stared at her. She only stared back, and challenged them, "What?"
Monique, sitting opposite Shego, held her eyes longer than the others, then spoke to Kim, "Kim... GF... I'm sorry about... well, you know. I didn't handle that well... but, hey, I was wrong about the dress! You look great in it!"
Kim laughed self-depreciatingly, "No, you weren't, Mon – I look like a total slut. But thanks for trying, anyway."
"You do not look like a slut, KP" Ron chimed in, "... And, I'm sorry too. I... uh... I just always thought... well... nevermind. You look great. Doesn't she, Shego?" That was Ron's attempt to show Kim that he was 'okay' with her date, even though he was still trying to keep from staring. Kim and... Shego? Sure, it made sense, sort of... but... but it wasn't any of his business anyway. Triple-dating with a four-pack of lesbians was enough to throw any high-school boy a little off.
The green member of that four-pack only glared at him and said, "If you'll excuse me, I gotta pee" she lied, tact be damned. She took two great swallows of liquor and left the table. Monique watched Shego's reflection in the window as she got change from the cashier and began feeding quarters into the cigarette machine.
"Uh, me too. Ron? Have fun, and don't do anything I wouldn't do" she teased him, knowing that leaving him alone was going to make him feel like crawling under the table. She got her purse and went to the lobby.
"------------------------------------------------------"
Shego was kicking and beating the vending machine by the time Monique got there. "Dammit! Gimme my smokes, ya ... ya stupid machine!"
"Uhm, Shego, is it? I'm Monique. I could bum ya a Winston, if Ultra-Lights are okay..."
At this point, Shego would have bummed a Virginia Slim from Ron, if the situation had arisen, "Yeah. Good. I thought all you high school kids were programmed to be non-smokers these days..."
"We are. Doesn't mean we listen. C'mon" she chuckled, handed her a cig, and led the way out the door.
Outside, after they'd both lit up, Monique watched Shego break off the filter and take a deep, deep, drag. "Gawd, I needed that" Shego said, blowing smoke straight up into the air.
"Yeah. You seem kinna tense... I'm – well, I was, anyway – Kim's best friend. I guess now I'm just her best straight friend. Well, straight girlfriend, if ya count Ron... I'd sure never have guessed that her date was you, though."
She received only a curt glance from the older girl.
Not one to be intimidated, Monique pressed on, "Not going well, I take it.."
"You could say that."
Monique let her simmer awhile – see if she would open up further on her own. She didn't.
"I tried to tell her not to get that dress, y'know, but she just would not listen to me! She just kept saying 'I want it. She'll like it. She'll love it! I gotta have it!' Wouldn't listen to me."
"Yeah, well... so she told you about me?" Shego didn't really care one way or the other, she was just trying to change the subject.
But Monique knew that, and played along, "Ha! It was only by accident she even told me she was going to be dating another girl. I kinda freaked out" she giggled, "but I'm much better now..."
Shego stared at the black girl. Against her better judgment, there was something about her that she... just liked, somehow. Monique didn't "Uhm.." and "Well..." much at all, but just spoke her mind instead. Shego appreciated that. It was just the breath of fresh air she needed. She was beginning to feel like she could talk to Monique. Maybe even wanted to... but, there was one sniggling little problem...
"So, you're out with Ron? Can I ask... well... WHY?"
Monique's eyes narrowed at Shego, and she took another drag from her cigarette before answering, "You don't think much of him, do ya, Shego..."
"Doy! He's SUCH a buff-"
"Hey! I'm out with him because I like him! That good enough for ya?"
Not used to being rebuffed so firmly, it took Shego awhile to regain her composure. It didn't help that Monique was in the right. Shego had been completely tactless, stupid, and... even mean, and Monique had called her to task for it. Small wonder she didn't have any friends. Small wonder she wasn't making any headway with Kim...
"Uh... yeah, it is. Sorry. I'm kind of new at... uh, anyway, sorry."
Again, Monique knew when to talk and when not to talk. She didn't talk now, and took another puff instead.
"He's going to need training, is all" Monique said casually, looking out over the parking-lot, "I've already started. He was going to take me to Bueno Nacho until I swatted his nose with a rolled-up newspaper" she chuckled.
"You... swatted his nose...?" Shego asked to make sure she was hearing right.
"With a rolled-up newspaper. Yeah. Made him buy the paper, too" she looked back at the now-smirking green-skinned brunette, "You approve?"
Shego smiled for the first time since she'd picked up Kim at the stadium, "I think I'm going to like you... Monique."
"Same here. Now, are you going to start acting like you're happy to be with Kim, or do I have to kick your ass... girlfriend."
Between "kick your ass" and "girlfriend" Shego didn't know what to make of that question. Or was it a statement? Or was it a challenge? Then, like a door being opened to the daylight, she realized she was being teased. She also realized that she did like this girl, high school or not.
"She's... she's such a kid, Monique! In some ways, I mean. She's all... 'oh, no, some one might see!' and 'I'm just not sure I'm ready' and... and it's frustrating the hell out of me!"
Monique stomped out her burning smoke, "So train her up, GF! You don't have to hit her with a paper, either... how about the old 'reward for being good' technique? You have something she wants; she wouldn't be here – and damn sure not in that dress – if she didn't. All you gotta do is make her work for it! Because I get the feeling you haven't exactly been playing 'hard to get', have ya..."
Shego thought about it. Then, having thought about it, she thought about it some more. Then she stubbed out her butt, too.
"You do make a point, Monique. Thanks. 'Girlfriend'."
"You're welcome. But you owe me" Monique said as she turned to go back inside.
Shego thought, Owe her? OWE her? But... but I thought... Then the door opened a little wider – she was being teased again.
"Hey!" was all the normally sarcastic, smart-mouthed, and snide ex-thief could think to say.
"------------------------------------------------------"
Shego had left Kim alone – but with Bonnie and Monique there, she didn't mind so much... her date wasn't being much fun anyway. And when Monique left too, well, there was still her new best friend, Bonnie, and her fascinatingly cute-butch date, Cin. Ron, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. His only hope was that no one would say anything to him.
"So Cin, Bonnie showed me your picture. You've been dating for a year?" Kim asked. It was hard not to stare at Cin... she had a peculiar combination of the masculine and feminine that was... well, it just suited her, somehow. Maybe the blonde not-quite-buzz-cut had something to do with it. Or just the way she sat – ready to take anyone on, should they dare to look at her funny. Kim could see the attraction. For that matter, so could Ron.
"Yeah, our anniversary is coming up next weekend, and we're going to 'celebrate', if ya know what I mean." Bonnie was giving her a "don't you DARE say anything" look, but Cin only winked at her. Kim giggled. Ron was mortified. "Too bad where we're going won't have a TV. I'm gonna miss the season-ending of 'Snowman Hank'."
Ron's eyes jerked from a close study of his napkin to Cin's face.
"You... like 'Snowman Hank'?" He was too shocked at finding another fan to be self-conscious. Very few people liked 'Snowman Hank'...
"Hon – Ron, was it? - I love 'Snowman Hank'! I have all the DVD's, plus I record my own too. And you can bet I'll be recording the one I miss... but it's just not the same, not being there when it airs, y'know?"
"Oh, yeah, totally agree – although, for season three, when they had the two-part cliff-hanger, I actually tried not to watch the season finale until I'd recorded the next season premier. Didn't make it, though... lasted about two weeks..."
"Oh my god! You have the season finale from three! That's the only one I'm missing!"
Bonnie's eyes narrowed as she looked back and forth from Cin to Ron. This was not... going well...
"Sure! I can burn ya a copy if you -"
"You're my hero, Ron! Tell ya what, I'll trade ya -"
"HEY!" Bonnie finally shouted loud enough that the other customers turned to look. She glared at Ron, "Get your own date... This one's mine!"
Kim blushed, "Uhm... so much for keeping it a secret, Bon..." It was true, the whole room could hear in the sudden silence following Bonnie's outburst.
Bonnie looked around at the staring faces, "Yeah, that's right. She's my date! Now eat yer food!" Cin stared at her, trying her hardest not to grin. 'Bout time! she was thinking. As the strangers turned back to their tables, Bonnie took a drink of water and tried to force herself into composure.
Cin put her arm around Bonnie's shoulder and gave her a little hug and peck on the ear, "C'mon, BonBon... don't be jealous of the poor boy. You know I don't swing that way. But we Hank-fans... we gotta stick together too, y'know?" She winked at Ron with the eye that Bonnie wouldn't be able to see.
Ron smiled back. He glanced at Kim and saw that she was doing her best to keep from bursting out laughing – just like he was.
Cin liked 'Snowman Hank', Bonnie had embarrassed herself, and both he and Kim were trying hard not to laugh at it. Lesbians were... cool...
"------------------------------------------------------"