My Boyfriend is More Sexual than Yours

by Reiven

Slash. Oishi, Oshitari and Shishido have a conversation…at least, it started out as one, before the other schools decided to join in. Is a relationship really just about the sex?

Title: My Boyfriend is More Sexual than Yours (Aka My Boyfriend is Sweeter than Yours)
Author: Reiven.
Genre: Humour/Romance.
Words: 4605 words.
Rating: PG-13.
Warning: Quite a bit lot of sexual reference because Oshitari, Shishido, Mizuki and Niou have dirty minds.
Pairings/Characters: ShishiTori, YuuGaku, OishiEiji, AtoTezu, JackalMarui, KamioShinji, MizuYuu, NiouYagyuu, SanaYuki and mentioned YanaKiri, MomoRyo and MizuAka.
Summary: (Sequel to My Boyfriend is Better than Yours) Oishi, Oshitari and Shishido have a conversation… at least, it started out as one, before the other schools decided to join in. Is a relationship really just about the sex?

My Boyfriend is More Sexual than Aka Yours
(My GirlBoyfriend is Sweeter than Yours)
- by Reiven

"You shouldn't put so much sugar in your coffee, Shishido-kun, it isn't good for your teeth. Not to mention that the chance of getting diabetes at a young age is so much higher in now than it was ten years ago. In fact, coffee on a whole is just-"

"Would you shut up! It's my teeth and my body and I can contaminate it if I want to! As a matter of fact, what am I doing here anyway? I don't like either of you."

"Stop complaining, Shishido," Oshitari Yuushi drawled in his distinct Kansai accent while sipping his cup of tea.

"Why not?" Oishi Syuuichirou had to enquire. He didn't like it when he wasn't liked. He tried hard to get along with almost anyone.

"For starters, your name doesn't begin with a 'Chou' and end with a 'Tarou'," Shishido Ryou answered irritably, "and secondly, I don't like anyone or anything… except Choutarou," he muttered the last part under his breath.

No one had anything to reply to that so silence ensued.

After a few minutes, Oishi that had been staring out the window spoke up, "It's so warm and bright out, it reminds me of the time last summer when Eiji and I went on our very first official date."

Shishido rolled his eyes and Oshitari just ignored him, instead, sipping peacefully on his tea without a care in the world.

"It wasn't anything special really, we just talked and had a couple of parfaits, unaware that Inui had followed us then. But the pictures he had taken of Eiji were… I just can't stop thinking of how cute he looked then. He's always cute, mind you, but this time it just was… I think I fell in love with him all over again."

This comment seemed to perk the interest of his present company when Oshitari lowered his cup.

"That's just something so becoming of that bespectacled weirdo of yours," he muttered.

Shishido huffed, "Aren't you bespectacled?"

Oshitari raised an eyebrow and plucked the glasses off the bridge of his nose, "These? Oh, they're purely for aesthetic purposes. Gakuto likes them," he stated simply, "actually, now that I think about it, these glasses were the reason he and I got together. Would you like to hear the story?"

Oishi nodded enthusiastically, while Shishido rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

"Well," Oshitari began, "it was during our last year of elementary school, when all the classes were forced into a stage play of some kind of tennis anime. My character was one who wore glasses and, with us already being tennis players then, naturally, we were cast as two of the main characters. To make a long story short, Gakuto walked up to me, told me he liked my glasses and that was the beginning of a beautiful relationship."

"That's such a sweet story. It reminds me of how Eiji and I got together."

Shishido made a face, "That was lame. As a boyfriend, none of yours can compare to just how sweet, caring and considerate Choutarou is. He was willing to give up his regular spot for me. Which one of you could say the same?" he gave them a smug look.

"I've never actually been in that situation. But once, I had caught the flu and was forced to stay home. Eiji visited me later that day and gave me a sponge cake that he had baked himself. Sure, it was half eaten and a bit misshapen, but it was the sweetest cake I have ever had," Oishi cooed, "Eiji is such a sweetheart."

Oshitari huffed, "You know nothing of sweet. Gakuto is the sweetest boyfriend anyone can ever have, and I mean that in a literal way. He tastes a bit like vanilla essence with a hint of peppermint."

Shishido and Oishi both shot Oshitari a look and decided that none of them wanted to go there.

"Do I hear something about sweets?"

The new voice caught their attention. Turning around, they came face to face with the bopping figure of Rikkai-sai's Marui Bunta.

"Marui-kun," Oishi exclaimed, "It'd good to see you again. How is the rest of your team?"

Marui gave Oishi a funny look, as if trying to figure out who he was. Eventually, he managed and blurted out excitedly, "Oh, you know. Niou and Yagyuu are doing so-and-so somewhere where no one can catch them. Yanagi's babysitting Kirihara, or so he says. Everyone knows what they're really doing and Sanada's being the wet blanket he always is, only this time he had Yukimura to try and pull that stick out of his ass."

"Marui, try not to swear in public places," the tall, dark-skinned form of Jackal appeared behind him. When his eyes fell on the three figures at the table, gave them a nod of greeting, "Oshitari-kun, Shishido-kun, Oishi-kun."

"Hello, Jackal-kun," Oishi smiled.

"Hn," Oshitari said simply while Shishido just ignored all four of them. He had his elbow on the table and a palm cupping his face as he wondering where, oh, where was his Choutarou hiding.

"Would you care to join us?"

"Yes. C'mon, Jackal. You know what they say," Marui latched onto Jackal's arm, "the more the merrier. By the way, you guys said something about sweets? Oh, Jackal, could you get me a slice of that strawberry pie? I'd love you to death!" he kissed the taller boy on the cheek.

"We were just talking about our better-halves. And it was vast becoming obvious that Gakuto towered above the rest."

"Choutarou has the cutest more comforting smile that anyone can ever be graced by receiving," Shishido shot to his feet and glared daggers at his blue-haired teammate, "When he touches you, it makes you feel like there's nothing in this world that can hurt you and that any pain can be lessened."

"When Gakuto touches me, well… that feeling just can't be described because of the limit in human kinds' vocabulary," a goading smirk flashed across Oshitari's face. Marui, Jackal and Oishi decided that neither one of them wanted to go there.

"It's about the sex for you, isn't it?"

Many lunches were spluttered at the comment. Oishi slapped a shocked hand over his mouth, Jackal had a semi scandalized look on his face and Marui just burst out laughing.

"Isn't it for you?"

"Of course not! When you have Choutan for a boyfriend, you know that there's more to life than hand-jobs and-"

"I don't think that anyone present wants to know how much there is to life!" Oishi leapt to his feet, a blush spreading across his face.

"Did someone mention hand-jobs?" a sinister voice interrupted them and they turned their attention to face a smirking Mizuki Hajime. He had one hand held close to his chest and the other with a finger twirling his curly hair, "I have to say, that while there is no denying that Akazawa gives some of the best hand-jobs, Yuuta-kun has one of the cutest squeal of-"

"I'm sure no one in this establishment want to know how cute Yuuta-kun's squeal of…" Oishi mumbled that part and the people present had to lean in to hear what it was.

"Wow," Shishido looked impressed, "who would have known that you had some dirty things in mind."

"You and Kikumaru would have a hell of a lot more fun if you put that knowledge to good use," Oshitari nodded in agreement.

"Ah."

Oishi could have cried after the low voice registered in his mind.

"Seigaku's Oishi, is it?"

Everyone turned twirled around abruptly, with the exception of Oshitari who thought that twice was once to many times already.

"Ibu-kun," Oishi remarked, his eyes falling on the pale Foudomine player, "you were just… passing though, by any chance?" he asked, hopefully. There were far, far too many people in present company already.

"I was actually looking for Akira. He said that he would be meeting me here at five to nine, but it's already three to nine and he still isn't here. That is so like him. I don't know why Tachibana-san always insists that he be singles two when he's always the last one on the court. I bet he spent the extra time around Ann-chan. He's always around Ann-chan. He's always starts arguments with Momoshiro over Ann-chan too even though I'm his boyfriend and he knows that Momoshiro is with Echizen. Akira can be so selfish. Doesn't he know that I'm prettier and have nicer hair than Ann-chan?"

The only thing the people could do was stare at the boy so lost in his own world.

"Shinji!"

Shinji immediately stopped his mumbling and looked back as Kamio jogged up to him.

"Sorry I'm late. The bus driver hit a pot hole and one of his tyres blew up so I had to run the rest of the way here," tearing his gaze away from his blue-haired boyfriend, he only now seemed to notice the dozen pairs one eyes currently set on him, "Oh, you guys. What are you all doing here?"

"They've been talking about each others boyfriends. Oishi-kun, Oshitari-kun and Shishido-kun were here first and started talking about who has the sweetest one then Rikkai-dai's Marui and Jackal came and they started talking about sex and hand jobs before Mizuki-san joined in and said that, while Akazawa, I don't know who he is, by the way, gives the best ones, Yuuta has one of the-"

"Alright, alright!" Kamio held his hands up to stop him, "that's too much information."

"Oi, Marui, Jackal! We've been looking all over for you!"

By this time, Oishi had done right by giving up. After all, if you can't beat them and refuse to join them, might as well feign innocence and blame it on Hyotei. It was Oshitari who started it after all.

"Niou!" Marui stood up and waved an inviting hand over Oshitari's (sitting opposite him) head to Niou and Yagyuu who had just walked in, "Come join us! Everyone's talking about sex!"

"Ooh, my favourite subject!" Niou rubbed his hands together and strutted over to where everyone was crowding around the six-seater table, which was filled to capacity by the three original occupants; Marui (who was sitting in Jackal's lap) beside Shishido and Oshitari, and Mizuki who was between Oishi and Kamio with Shinji on his lap. The latter was still mumbling incoherently to himself.

Grabbing one of the free chairs for him and Yagyuu, Niou plopped down beside Jackal. With an elbow propped up on the table, he surveyed the rest with a cheeky glint in his eyes. "So, where were we?"

"Nowhere," Oishi answered quickly, "Everyone was just leaving."

"Leaving?" Oshitari enquired slyly, "When the fun is just beginning?"

"I believe I'm saying this, but I agree with him," he nudged towards Oishi, "I'm going to look for Choutarou," he stood up, but soon realized that there was no way he would be able to get past the three people beside him, nor could Oishi. The both of them were seated near the window and furthest away from the aisle.

"You were saying, Shishido-kun? Nfu, nfu…" Mizuki chuckled, "as I was saying, Yuuta-kun's sheer submissiveness far overshadows that any that you all can ever dream off. Therefore, I must concur that it is the ideal requirement of being a good boyfriend. Now in the case of Fuji Syuusuke…" he trailed off, chuckling to himself.

Everyone decided in a moment of unity that they didn't want to go there either.

"It's not always about the sex!" Shishido wailed, "what about love? Comfort? Mutual trust, goddamnit! If anyone you had a boyfriend like Choutarou, you'd know. But of course, you don't, because Choutarou is one of a kind, therefore, the best!"

"I agree wholly with Shishido-kun… except for the last part, though I don't deny that Ootori-kun is obviously the best partner for him. Eiji and I share a lot in common that doesn't involve physical stimulation-"

"We're all open-minded and exposed people here, dear, you can say sex if you want," Niou gave him a wink.

Oishi blushed, spluttered and seemed to lose his ability to speak. He opted to sit back down.

"I have to agree with all three of you, actually," Oshitari spoke, "the reason Gakuto and I got together was originally because we fell in love," Shishido and Oishi nodded, "the sex came a little later," Niou and Mizuki nodded while Oishi and Shishido sweat-dropped.

"What about you and Ibu-kun?" Oishi turned to the oddly silent Kamio, who would have normally been the centre of attention with his loud exclamations.

"Mmh? Oh, Shinji and I?" Kamio ran a hand through his hair, "Well, I guess I started to like him originally, his mumbling, even though I found it annoying at first, was the thing that attracted him to me. Why don't you tell them the story, Shinji?"

"Hmm? Oh… okay… even if it is our story and it is none of their business how we first got together. But if you all must now, we met during the first year of middle school. I thought Akira had a big head then, which he did. Not only was he pompous and full of himself, he always blocked my view of the blackboard because he sits in front of me. I still don't understand why that is, it's obvious that I'm a smarter student than he is. I always get A's in the exams and Akira's always last in class, just like he is in tennis. The teachers and Tachibana-san is a bit unbiased in that case. He can run fast, but is always unknowingly late. Maybe he'd been having secret meetings with Ann-chan behind gym class; that's the only possible explanation. Why else would Akira-"

"Okay, Shinji, I think that answers enough. By the way, I'm not secretly meeting Ann-chan behind gym class, why would you even think that?"

"I don't know… sorry."

It took a few moments for the Shinji-ness to absorb into their brain.

"Ah… okay… I guess that would be in favour of love… I think."

"So, two for love, two for sex," Niou smirked and looked over at the stoic Yagyuu, "I'm all in for the sex, as you may have guessed. So three then. What about you, love."

Yagyuu adjusted his glasses and spoke for the first time, "The sex is nice… but I would never have gotten together with Niou if I hadn't fallen for him. He has very nice hair."

"Hah! Three for love! In your face, Oshitari!"

"I'm going to have to say love as well," Kamio interjected, "since Shinji and I… well, we haven't exactly… you know…"

"You mean you two are still virgins?" Niou raised an eyebrow.

"How odd," Mizuki muttered, an unbefitting frown on his face.

"Niou, Yagyuu, Marui, what are you doing?" Sanada's commanding voice halted any additional comments. He assumed that Jackal knew better, thus found no reason to implicate him with the three.

"Calm down, Genichirou. I'm sure they're all not doing anything out of the law," came the sweet voice before Yukimura Seiichi's face popped up from behind Sanada.

"Yukimura!" the four Rikkai-dai members exclaimed happily.

"Are you feeling better? Do you want some cake? Err… Jackal can get you a new one," Marui stared at his empty plate.

"No, thank you, Marui," Yukimura gave them a smile that just melted their hearts. Everyone from Rikkai-dai loved Yukimura. That's why Sanada was always so protective all the time, even up until the point of obsession.

"You should know better than to trust any of them, Yukimura. They're all-"

"We're back to Yukimura again, Gen-chan? What happened to Seiichin?"

Sanada cleared his throat; "I don't think it's appropriate for a captain and his vice to be calling each other pet-names in public."

"Well, I'm sure most people wouldn't find it appropriate for a captain and his vice to be boinking each other in the locker rooms either."

Sanada spluttered as his face turned two different shades of red. Marui and Niou burst out into laughter and even Jackal and Yagyuu had a slight smile tugging at their lips. Oishi, Kamio and Shinji were a little too busy staring at the famous Yukimura Seiichi to notice what was going on. Mizuki smirked to himself, Oshitari minded his own cup of tea, which didn't seem to be decreasing no matter how many sips he took out of it and Shishido acted like the anti-social thorn that he usually was and continued to wonder where, oh, where his Choutarou was hiding.

All of a sudden, it was like a scene out of one of his deepest, wildest fantasies, that his eyes fell upon three blurry figures in the distance. Focusing his eyes one the subject of matter, he recognized one of them as Seigaku's Kikumaru because of his hair. Upon closer inspection, he made out the other two figures and Gakuto and (he would have jumped through the glass window if he could) his beloved Choutarou.

"-We were actually looking for Renji and Akaya; have any of you seen them?"

"Kirihara?" Kamio almost fumed at the ears when the name registered in his mind.

All eyes fell on him and Shinji took it upon himself to explain the situation, "Akira doesn't like Akaya because he hurt Tachibana-san; even though their names are almost the same and they act almost the same. They could have been good friends in another life. But Akira's always worried about Tachibana-san, even when he's standing right in front of us. Maybe he's secretly in love but won't admit it like with Ann-chan and probably Momoshiro. But like Yukimura-san said, it's not appropriate for a team captain and his vice to be boinking each other. Are they boinking each other? I hope not, otherwise I'd have to break up with him. That would be really messy and I don't feel like cleaning it up. I'd make Akira clean it up but I don't think I'd be talking to him if we were in that situation. That would be so bothersome."

"Shinji," Kamio whined, "I'm not boinking Tachibana-san, Ann-chan or Momoshiro!"

"CHOUTAROU!"

Shishido's sudden proclamation as he shot to his feet startled all of them. He used Oshitari's thighs as a springboard and leaped a feet over Marui and Jackal's head with so much grace that it would have made Gakuto jealous, before disappearing out the door. They heard his muffled shout of 'Choutarou' as he zoomed past the glass window. Leaning closer toward the window panels, they could see Choutarou's expression brighten ten-folds as he passed both Eiji and Gakuto and jumped into Shishido's arms. It would have been quite a comical sight had it not been them, since Choutarou was nearly one head taller than Shishido.

"Eiji!" Oishi said happily. He stood up, politely asked to be let pass and made a much more graceful exit than Shishido had moments earlier. Oshitari, on the other hand, acted as if nothing was going on. He finished the last drop of his unlimited tea, wiped the dust left by Shishido's shoes off his lap and calmly too to his feet, face still very much neutral. Moving past Jackal and Marui, he walked out to greet his dear Gakuto.

"YUUSHI!" Gakuto cried out happily, running up to hug his taller boyfriend, "Oh, Yuushi. It was horrible! First, I was forced to associate with that Seigaku loser, Kikumaru, who kept insisting that his boyfriend was better than you. And then Atobe and Tezuka came and made us run twenty laps. Actually, it was Tezuka who did that, Atobe had to run too, so did everyone in a twenty-meter radius. They all dropped like flies one by one, by the way."

"What about Atobe then?" Oshitari inquired, looking around at the absence of their team captain.

"Well, Tezuka caught up to us and halfway, they took a detour into one of the alleys. A million points to whoever can guess what they're doing at the moment," he smirked and clung to Oshitari's neck tighter, "Missed you, Yuushi!"

"Me too. So tonight at nine?"

"Of course. I'll bring the cherries."

"Shishido-san, I love you," Choutarou held on tighter to Shishido, still perched comfortably in his arms.

"Oh, Choutarou, I missed you so much! You have no idea how much pain I had to sit through with Seigaku, Rikkai-dai, Foudomine and that weird gay guy from St. Rudolph. During the entire time, I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Oh, Shishido-san…"

"Eiji, would you like to go and have another parfait with me tomorrow? I miss spending time with you. With nothing sexual or anything involved, of course."

"Hoi, hoi?" Eiji raised an eyebrow, but just the mention of parfaits and a date with Oishi was enough to convince him.

"I'll pick up with tomorrow at ten?"

"Okay, nya," he beamed, "I can't wait."

"Me neither."

The grasped hands and gazed lovingly into each other's eyes.

"Young love," Niou cooed, "sickening isn't it?"

"Now, now, Niou. Everything has to start somewhere. After all, what would be the integrity in a one night stand," Yukimura's flippant comment caught them all off guard.

"So, you'd go for sex over love?" Niou raised a similar enquiring eyebrow as Yagyuu.

"In a way, I suppose."

"Yukimura!" Sanada exclaimed, quite taken aback by this side to his Seiichin.

"What about you, Sanada?" Marui enquired.

"Me? I want no part in this," he answered in a conclusive tone of voice.

"Come on, Gen-chan. I'm curious as well," Yukimura latched onto his arm and gave him an innocent puppy-dog look.

Sanada cleared his throat, "I… I… well, I never…"

"Ah, Yuuta-kun," they heard Mizuki's voice as he exited the shop in step with Kamio and Shinji. "Meet you at the entrance of the cinema… Why of course… Don't forget to bring your… aha… aha… no, I should not have underestimate your determination. After all, it's not everyday that you can simply obtain tickets to NC-seventeen movies. Yes… I will see you in ten minutes," there was a click as Mizuki shut his flip phone, "It had been fun, everyone, but I must run. Have a good day."

And with that, Mizuki left, both the Foudomine players following behind him. Kamio seemed to still be attempting to convince Shinji that he really wasn't boinking either of the three.

"Odd people they are," Niou stated, slipping his fingers through Yagyuu's, "so how about it, love, pick up where we last left off?"

With his free hand, Yagyuu pushed his glasses higher up his nose and nodded in agreement.

Now with the departure of Mizuki, Kamio, Shinji, Niou and Yagyuu, it left the four remaining Rikkai-dai members standing staring at the three couples in the middle of the street. At least, there would be, had Marui not disappeared into some candy shop and Jackal following him to ensure that he didn't eat the owner out of his business.

"So, Gen-chan," Yukimura purred, "we're finally alone. Can I have your answer now?"

"Hmm…" Sanada readjusted his cap and locked eyes with Yukimura, "I'd say… love… Seiichin."

"So that would be… how many for each?"

"I wasn't keeping count," Sanada slipped an arm behind the small of Yukimura's back and pulled their bodies closer, "But getting back to the more important matter. You should be out in this weather for too long. We should get you back home."

"Will you make me your famous chicken soup?"

Sanada hesitated for a moment, looking around for any witnesses before turning back to Yukimura, "I'd love to," and leant down to kiss Yukimura square on the lips. "If you want, I'll make you more than my famous soup too," there was a glint in Sanada's eye as he glanced over at Yukimura.

Yukimura seemed to purr at the mention, "Why, Gen-chan, this is a side of you that I would like to see more often."

"If you wish, Seiichin. You know I'd do anything for you," Sanada slinked an arm behind Yukimura's shoulders and began leading him off-screen, "but next time, let's keep our private life private. We don't want the rest of the team to get an ideas, do we? I mean Akaya's learnt enough from Renji already. I told you that Renji always keeps notes."

"I guess you're right again, Gen-chan," Yukimura sighed in mock disappointment, but then turned to Sanada with an equally mischievous glint in his eye, "I guess he got that from you, didn't he? Sixteen right, seventeen left? Courtesy of Atobe Keigo, was it?"

Sanada spluttered slightly at the comment before regaining his composure, "Come on, Seiichin, we don't want to oversleep, do we?"

"Depends on the reason we're oversleeping," Yukimura whispered in Sanada's ear as they walked off and disappeared around the corner. Not a second passed before two figures emerged from the opposite junction.

"Seems that we're too late, na, Tezuka?" Atobe surveyed the empty shop and the semi-traumatized look the remaining occupants had on their faces.

"I had no intention of joining in either way."

"So like you, Tezuka. Now shall we be off? Ore-sama has made reservations for two at the steak house."

"I dislike meat."

"Only interested with the other meat, I assume, ahn?" Atobe smirked.

Tezuka chose to ignore that comment; instead, he locked Atobe with his patented glare of I-want-a-serious-answer-for-this, "So… Keigo… am I the sweetest boyfriend?"

It took Atobe a few additional seconds to process the question and he replied with a smug look, "Kunimitsu;" he spoke Tezuka's name in a tone that would have been condescending had it not been he who'd spoken it, "as it is obvious to the entire western hemisphere, Ore-sama is the best boyfriend. And greatness will untimely attract more greatness, therefore, the question would be very much obvious."

Tezuka didn't seem satisfied with his answer and kept quiet.

After a few moment, Atobe relented, "Oh, alright, if you want to badly for Ore-sama to put it in lame man's terms; yes, Tezuka, you are the sweetest boyfriend anyone could ever have."

They both locked hands and walked away into the sunset. Literally, because it was nearing seven and they had been in the streets for almost nine hours.

Elsewhere, in a moment of unity, nine different couples begged to differ on Atobe's comment.

- Owari.

This came out a monster of a story, but there was no other way except that I'd omitted a few couples, and they just refused to be left out! I also don't actually know whether Oshitari's aesthetic glasses are an official fact. That's just what I've read; therefore that's what I'm going with. It fit with the moment.

I tried to fit in as many couples in this story as I could, and the ones I couldn't, I just hinted… except for Seigaku because I don't see Oishi as the gossipy type. Hope you liked because I personally liked writing it very, very much. I'm also tempted to write a St. Rudolph or Rikkai-dai or Foudomine story because I enjoyed writing the characters I entered here so, so, very much ?

Thank you for reading!