Author's note: This is probably the weirdest pairing I've written yet. And this is coming from someone who's written both Cluffy and Dawsilla fics.
The last few days and nights had been very confusing for poor Mr Gordo. When his Girl and the Big One With Shiny Glass Eyes had put him into a box they had giggled a lot, and he had thought this was just a new game. But then Girl had kissed him and wished him good luck, they closed the lid and gave the box to someone called You Pee Ess and then everything had been very dark and thumpy bouncy for a long time. Then he had arrived at the Very Tall House in a place they called Ell Aye and barely had time to look around before Stubbly One made that noise with his stick to punish the box that Mr Gordo had come in. All in all, he had been one scared and confused little piggy.
But when they brought him in to see the one all the Big Ones called Ayn Gel but Mr Gordo had always thought of as Dark One, he had understood. He had a job to do. The last time he had seen Dark One had been in Girl's bedroom many many days ago, and back then he had been big, loud and with very pointy fur on his head. Now he was different; a Fuzzy One just like Mr Gordo himself, even if he could still move around. It was very strange, but Mr Gordo knew that Girl had sent him here so that Dark One could have someone else around who knew what it was like to be small and fuzzy and cute. And so he had been there for Dark One, letting him play or just cuddle or whatever he wanted. Even if Dark One played a bit rougher than Mr Gordo was used to, it was fine. Better than fine; Mr Gordo had always liked Dark One, and ever since he had left the House and gone on the Big Yellow Bus many many days ago he had not had a chance to talk to any other Fuzzy Ones. To be reunited with him and make a new fuzzy friend at the same time made Mr Gordo very happy.
And for two days, that was all it had been. And then...
Mr Gordo had known about the game that the Big Ones called "Secks" for a few years now. He had seen his Girl and the Big One called Rye Lee play it on her bed more times than he could count on his four hooves, and one time when Red Fur Girl and Shy Girl had played it they had almost let him join in. It had seemed like a fun game, even if they were always very sweaty afterwards and so tired they had to sleep in the same bed, which seemed very crowded to Mr Gordo. He had supposed it wasn't a game for little pigs. But tonight, after Dark One had defeated the Big Ugly One In A Suit, he had carried Mr Gordo to the couch, gently laid him down and... Oh, Oink. Oink. OIIINK! It was wonderful.
"Angel? Fred said you wanted to see me...?" Wes walked into the penthouse wondering why he bothered speaking to the stuffed wolf; so far they had no indication that he even understood what they said. But Fred had seemed very adament about it, something about a new liaison to the Senior Partners, so he assumed it had to be important and – "NO, Angel! Bad wolf!" He ran to the couch and pulled the wildly humping werewolf off Mr Gordo, only a little too late... ewww. Slimy. Angel was furious and tried to bite him, which Wesley supposed was a good sign; at least he wasn't perfectly happy. Carefully, Wesley picked Mr Gordo up and took him downstairs to see if Fred could figure out a good way to clean him.
Shout-out to "Threesomelike" by Eris Goddess of Discord. Read it, it's great.