When the Rain didn't stop

She was riding hard, her feet straddling the horse's belly. Her destination was unknown as was the reason for her departure. She couldn't remember what had upset her and truth-to-be-known, she didn't try nor want to. The only thing that mattered now, was the wind blowing through her hair and the light rain piercing her skin like thousands of small needles. The horse was running fast and she didn't recognize her surroundings anymore. She didn't care. There was no need to go back. Not tonight. There was no one waiting for her. The tears that streamed down her face mingled together with the rain drops leaving traces of wetness on her reddened face. Her breath was coming in short gasps and her trembling hands started hurting. When the darkness surrounded her every core and she couldn't even see the horse's feet anymore she decided to stop and set camp for the night. The rain was getting stronger by the minute and she was already soaked through to the bone. She started shivering and the cold that radiated from her soul threatened to penetrate through to her flesh and skin. She shook her head, suddenly aware of the irony. The cold, hard rain penetrating her cotton blouse didn't bother her, but the frosty sheet that was growing over her innermost soul dared her to do things she'd never even think about. She was a doctor, a fine doctor as far as she knew, but what did it matter if she couldn't heal herself?

She climbed down from the horse and began leading further uphill. She would have to find a shelter, for the horse, though she knew how little the chances that she would find anything at all in this weather and without the slightest glimpse of light. Carefully she tried the ground beneath her and when she felt sure enough she quickened her pace. When it got so dark that she could't even see her own hands anymore she reached forward to feel for any obstacles in her way. She didn't slow down though she knew if there happened to stand a tree right in front of her she's run right into it with full force.

After a couple of more minutes of walking on the soft ground she felt something hard and cold on her hand. She sighed relieved to have found at least something. Shecouldn't be sure what it was, but she dared to hope that it was some kind of shelter, even a cave if she was lucky. Her hands tried the stone for any entrance and only some small steps later did she hit a rock with her foot and stumbled into a cave. She moaned loudly when her cold body hit the hard ground, but the pain was immediately forgotten when she heard her voice echo. It was indeed a cave, that she had managed to find in this dark night.

Struggling to get on her knees she crawled the rest of the way into the cave until she was certain she was deep enough to be safe from the now raging storm outside. When she lay down against the wall she felt the overwhelming tiredness creep up her limps. Since there wasn't anything she could do right now, she decided she could as well lie down and give in to urge to close her eyes. She crouched down into a bundle to keep the rest of body warmth that was left. She knew that she needed to take her wet clothes off, but she didn't dare out of fear someone might find her. So she just lay down on the ground, trembling all over. She was tired, so tired, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Slowly sleep overtook her and in her slumber she didn't feel the tears running down her face and the soft but deep sighs that came over her lips once in a while.

Trennungslinie

It was just before dawn when he woke up. He blinked a few times and looked up into the still black sky. There was a faint sign of the upcoming sun seen on the horizon and deciding that he could as well get up and start his day rather than lying there and thinking about things he didn't want to think about. Gathering his few belongings he left his cave and started walking into an uncertain direction. He didn't have any special destination. He was just walking to walk. He needed to move after weeks of lying down and not being able to get up.

It was still dark so he carefully set one foot after the other. The ground was still wet from the storm the night before and the sky didn't look very good. He knew that it could start anew any minute and how foolish it was to leave his secure shelter. But he needed to do something or being left alone with his own thoughts and regrets would kill him.

He had been walking for a while when the ground beneath him changed. It wasn't the soft ground of the woods anymore, but still as dark. The ground was rather hard and rocky and he was sure he was right by a cave or something. He stopped to listen when he thought he had heard something.

There he heard it again. It sounded like someone was crying or sobbing, but from the distance he couldn't make out if it was a human being or an animal. Knowing how dangerous his decision might be he searched for the entrance of the cave having no difficulty finding it being guided by the quiet noise. When he set foot into the deeper darkness he stopped again to listen. He couldn't see anything but he believed to recognize the identity of the person in there.

„'Chaela?" He asked into the darkness not sure if he had heard right.

When the sobs didn't stop he slowly kneeled down crouching forward until he felt the bundle on the ground. Reaching forward he felt his hand touch the cotton.

„'Chaela?" He asked again.

Slowly and groggily she turned around. Se squinted her eyes getting adjusted to the darkness in the cave once again. When she saw a from linger over her she inched backwards a little not knowing who the person was.

„Hey...just me..." He said gently touching her shoulder again.

„Sully?" She whispered doubtfully.

Realizing that it indeed was her husband the tears started to flow freely and heart-wrenching sobs racked her body. Her hands gripped thematerial of his shirt and held on to it as if she never wanted to let go. And she honestly did't want to. He was here with her and she never wanted him to leave her again. All the anguish of the past weeks came flooding back to her and the realization that it was not over yet made her cry even harder.

„Sully..." she whined.

He gathered her into his arms and rocked her back and forth, holding her close to him sharing is body warmth and love with her.

„It's so dark..." She whimpered after some minutes.

„It's not morning yet." He simply said more curious to why she was here.

„No..." She talked back to him „...in here...it's so dark." Her hand moved to her heaving chest right to the spot where her heart lay beneath, a small cry escaping her throat. She was baring her soul to him leaving him breathless with guilt and pain. He wished he could tell he knew what she meant, but he knew better. It was a different kind of darkness she was bearing. He had caused his own darkness, but he had also caused hers.

„The rain didn't stop..." She spoke again.

He wasn't sure anymore what she was talking about so he just listened to her. She would tell him everything when she was ready or when she thought it mattered. He slowly guided her tired body to lie down with him, holding her ever so close and caressing her arm, letting her know that he was there with her.

„Will the rain ever stop?" She asked quietly into the silence.

He looked at her though he couldn't make out her face. He couldn't promise, but he wanted to. He wanted to promise her the world and it broke his heart knowing he could never give her what she deserved. He had let her down, disappointed her but she never blamed him. He wondered if she ever thought about him that way, if she deep down blamed him for her sorrow.

„Yea...it'll stop." He said trying to force the sincerety into his voice that he didn't possess. She was so fragile. That's what he made her. She deserved better than the truth right now.

„I promise..."

She believed him. She always did and she always would. He was her rock even though he wasn't there for her right now. He gave her the strength to hold on, to pull herself together. But in the silent, lonely nights she felt so hollow and she couldn't stop crying.

„Why are you here?" He asked when he was sure she wouldn't say anything else.

She opened her eyes and lifted her gaze to where she thought his face was. Why was she here? She didn't know anymore. Something had upset her but she couldn't remember. She had not been able to stand any company any longer. Everyone was talking, everyone was laughing, careless, happy, content with the day. She had needed a place that matched the darkness in her soul, a place that didn't make her envy everything and everyone around her. But she couldn't tell him that feeling and almost seeing the pain and worry in his eyes piecing into her heart. She was protecting him. He mustn't know. She mustn't tell him of her pain.

„I don't know...I guess...I missed you." She said instead hearing him sigh.

They were so close yet at the same time so far away right now. They were holding on to each other waitingfor the morning, both hoping the rain would have stopped by then, yet both knowing it wouldn't.

The End