Author's Note: It's part of James's character that he loves coming up with derogatory nicknames for people, but you may find as you are reading this that I suck at coming up with nicknames. So, enjoy. I came back to this after several years and, guess what, I still can't come up with good nicknames.

Content Warning: Strong language.

Chapter 2

Scrubbing Bubbles Unite!

Or Not…

(June)

"Ugh, do I smell absolutely disgusting to you?" I asked Rose for the twentieth time since we had returned to our dorm. I had changed into my spare set of robes (the ones I'd been wearing before still covered in residue) and I was now towel drying my hair.

"No, you're completely barmy," Rose replied as she chewed on her cuticle, eyes roaming the pages of her magazine. The moving pictures on the cover showed a witch literally beating men off with a stick, under the caption 'You'll be beating men off with a stick after reading these hot tips for looking and being fab one hundred percent of the time!'

We made our way all the way back down the million and one stairs to the great hall for lunch. There were four extremely long and wide tables lined parallel in the hall, as well as a fifth that sat on a raised platform at the front and ran perpendicular to the others. Most of the seats at this table were occupied by staff members, though some of them were empty.

Rose and I sat at the rightmost table, and I let out a cry of mingled relief and delight as I spotted a carafe of steaming hot coffee. I grabbed a cup, and reached for the carafe, but it had already floated up and begun pouring for me. The first sip burned my mouth, but the second sip was pure bliss.

"Hey, it's a new kid!" someone shouted suddenly, and I froze, the cup still poised at my lips. There was a sudden commotion where about half the students from each table jumped up and crowded around me. I tried to move away, but they had closed in on me from all sides. Everyone was asking questions excitedly, drowning out even my thoughts. I struggled through the group of students with multicolored badges on their robes until I was free. They continued to cluster and talk excitedly. I let out a breath and backed away from the mob. As I watched, Rose emerged from the tight group, her usually perfect hair in a frizzy mess. I absentmindedly reached up to my own hair to find it in a similar condition.

"What was that all about?" I asked, looking down at the cup in my hand which was now, sadly empty, as its contents had spilled out in all the chaos.

"Oh, just ignore them," Rose shrugged. "They'll probably be annoying, but just try to block them out." She led me over to the far end of the Gryffindor table, which was mostly empty by now, except for mostly first or second years. I filled up my plate with muffins and fruit and such, as well as accepting a coffee refill from another floating carafe.

"Hi there, you're the new girl, right?" a girl asked in a voice like silver. She slid into the seat across the table from me, flanked by three girls. "I'm Eve. Eve Stroud," she said with a cool smile. "This is Katie, Olivia, and Angela," she added, motioning to each of her comrades in turn. Their robes were accented with green and silver. "I see you're acquainted with Rose," she said with raised eyebrows. The way she said Rose's name didn't sound very pleasant. I glanced at the red-headed girl to see a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Lovely to see you too, Eve," she gushed with more enthusiasm than I'm sure she felt.

"Yeah, well if you want to be shown around by someone you can actually follow, and I don't mean physically, you should hang out with us," the one named Olivia said with a laugh.

"Right, okay," I muttered, glancing back at Rose whose smile sat stiffly on her face.

"Your accent, are you American?" Angela asked.

"No, Canadian."

"That's so cool!" Katie cried, reaching over and clasping one of my hands in both of hers like we were childhood friends. I fought to keep a bemused look off her face and jerk her hand back. "I've always wanted to go there."

"What's your name, anyway?" Eve asked with a very sweet smile.

"June Lorrison," I told her, with a smaller smile. Katie let my hand go and I tried not to look relieved.

"That's a really nice name." Eve was looking right in my eyes, and I maintained eye-contact. She didn't look away though, and I began to feel so uncomfortable. Should I look at her left eye, or her right eye? Should I blink. Is it weird not to blink? What is she thinking about right now? How long have we been staring at each other?

"Lovely!" Angela nodded. Eve looked over at Angela and for a moment, I thought I saw the sweet expression turn sour. But it happened so fast I couldn't be sure.

"Anyway, I hope to see you around sometime. We can have drinks, yeah?" Eve suggested as they all stood up. I agreed, if only to get rid of them. There was something unlikeable about them. "I think you'll find your experience here much more pleasant if we remain on good terms," she said in parting. They turned as one, with a flick of hair, a swish of skirts, and they marched away in clicking heels. I turned to Rose just as the smile slipped off her face to be replaced by a sneer.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Oh, you've just met Eve- that's short for 'Evil'. Welcome to Hogwarts. So far, you've met the bad boy heartthrob- James Potter, and the Evil Queen Bee- Eve, and her cronies. Hogwarts has its cliques, like any other school. First of all, there's Eve's group of Sexually Attractive Slytherins, or you know, Slytherin Sluts, as everyone calls them, then there's the Hufflepuff Hags- three really hostile sixth year Hufflepuff girls. Throughout this first week, you'll be sure to meet all the most notorious groups in the school. You'll probably meet them all today, actually."

"Hmm, I can't wait," I replied, looking around the Great Hall. "Is that the Hufflepuff table?" I asked, motioning to the one nearest ours. Rose nodded. "Which ones are the Hufflepuff Hags?"

"Oh, you better not let them hear you calling them that," Rose warned, then she scanned the long table. "Those three, there," she pointed discretely at three girls who sat and talked together. "The one with the pale skin and the brown hair is Yolanda Malone. It's no wonder she's such a bully with a name like that." Yolanda had an uncomfortably misshapen face with a rather sulky demeanor. "The one beside her is Clara Abbey." Clara had a pink face framed with wavy hair of a vivid orange hue. Her face was made even less attractive by the sour expression she wore on it.

"She's such a bitch 'cause she's so lumpy," a voice said from behind me, and I started. "All right, darlings?" Aminta greeted as she sat down beside me. "Don't get on their bad sides; they're all like rhinos." Rose smiled in agreement; her usual dreamy expression present again.

"The last one is Sara Dixon. She's the loud, rude one. Can never keep her mouth shut," Rose finished. Sara had a really slim figure. She had thick eyebrows and darkly lined eyes. Her skin was more tanned than the other pale girls, and she seemed very sociable.

"She's not bad looking," I remarked.

"Oh, of course, not at first glance, but just you wait until..." Aminta replied, then she winced. "Ooh...that." She inclined her head, and I looked back at Sara. Someone had walked past her, letting slip an unfavourable comment, and at this the girl had jumped up, raising her voice to an ugly yell. The most shocking profanities issued forth from her now huge mouth, and then she pounced on the boy in question, knocking him to the ground and snarling like a wildcat.

"Holy...!" I breathed, standing up to see better.

"Yup. Steer clear of the steers of Hogwarts," Aminta nodded, patting me on the back. "One time in first year, Clara caught me holding hands with Tucker Aiken— who, by the way, she's still in love with— and she punched me in the knee! I had a bruise the size of an orange for weeks! Hurt like hell. Not like she ever had a chance with Tucker, either. She knows that too, that's why she's so jealous of me. Me and my long dancer's legs." Aminta smiled proudly. She did have remarkably long legs, now that I thought of it. "Anyway, I'm off. I've got a free period, then I'm off to Cavanaugh's."

"Cavanaugh?" I asked.

"Oh, only the sexiest teacher alive! He teaches History of Magic," she explained in a dreamy tone as she stood up. "Did you know that only a few years before our first year here, History of Magic was taught by a ghost? My mum's always telling me about how godawful boring that class was. Thank Merlin they got rid of him and replaced him with this dreamboat." She waved and then flounced off.

"Well then," Rose said, turning to me. "You excited for your detention?"

"Excited? Should I be?" I asked nervously.

"Jernigan's always got some interesting punishments," Rose said with a shrug

"Uh, has she ever mortally harmed a student?"

"Hmm? Oh, no. Of course, she has traumatized a few students, but they were mostly first and second years," she answered airily.

"Reassuring."

"How come you're so nervous, Ju?"

"Ju?" I repeated.

"Bad nickname?" Rose asked.

"Not great," I replied.

"Well, you should hear what your current nickname is to the general population here."

"What?" I shrieked, jerking up, then finding myself sliding off the bed. I landed on the floor with a small bump and a few grumbles, then I was up again. "I have a nickname? How did that happen so fast? And how did you hear about it?"

"Think I heard them calling you Slippery Slag."

"What the fuck does that mean?" I asked.

"Well, slippery, because of the way you were formally introduced to a large portion of the students, and slag means like, slut. Actually, I'm sure slippery could also be a euphemism for being sexually loose or something like that. That's the general gist of it. I mean, Hogwarts nicknames are intended to be derogatory. Some are worse than others. You may soon find yourself glad once you've heard some of the other nicknames."

"But I'm not a slut," I said, crossing my arms. "These people don't even know me! Why are they so mean?"

"C'est la vie. That's just the way it is at Hogwarts for the first few weeks," Rose shrugged. "Don't worry, it'll all be forgotten soon, once they get to know you. Wanna know my name when I first got here?"

"Ginger?" I grumbled sulkily. Rose looked at me incredulously.

"Howdid you know?" she breathed. I raised my eyebrow. "It was Ginger-minge actually. But, anyway, the girls might also be miffed at you because in your first day here you got closer to James Potter than probably most of them will ever get."

"Oh?" I muttered. "Lucky me."

"Better get eating, lunch'll be over soon," Rose said, picking daintily away at a salad.

I followed her advice and started to hurriedly shove food into my mouth. After all, the way things were going here, I couldn't be sure when I'd get to eat again. I filled the space between bites of food with loud gulps and slurps of coffee.

"Attractive," Rose smiled.

"Hey," I mumbled, "it's not my fault, I didn't get breakfast. Haven't even eaten since I left Canada. Oh god, that's weird."

And when I get carried away with food, I inevitably get messy. Well, let's just say, I've never really been lucky when it comes to food getting into, or staying in, my mouth. So, naturally, I end up losing some of my food. I've also found that sometimes when I eat, bits of my food mysteriously go missing. Well, until I take off my clothes before bed and find like, melted chocolate on my chest or crumbs in my bra or something like that. "Hey...did you see where that grape went?" I asked Rose as I frowned down at my lap. I checked all the folds of my clothes, inside my pockets, under my arms, even under the table. And that was about the time I heard a new voice.

"All right, Ginger-minge."

"Sod off," I heard Rose reply pleasantly.

"Well, I feel very comforted about the nickname not sticking," I said, then decided that this was the time to pull my head up from under the table, however it proved a lot more difficult than I would've suspected.

"Ah— balls!" I cursed as my head hit the underside of the table and my leg- seeming to have a mind of its own- found its way up onto the bench.

"All right there, Slippery Slag?" the male voice asked, to which I rolled my eyes. A moment later I felt a tug at my foot, and the thought "is this idiot trying to pull my leg off?" flashed through my head. But then I found out that the idiot was only taking my shoe off. My shoe!

"Hey wait stop!" I shouted. I heard a hoot of laughter from topside, as I continued to struggle with the temperamental table. Right-o, June: 0, Hogwarts: 1.

I finally tried the tactic of going under the table, rather than back up the way I came. This seemed to work, and I crawled under the bench, standing up and brushing myself off. Of course, I knew that my hair was a total mess now and my face was all red.

"Oh, here's the grape!" I exclaimed, pulling a crushed green blob off of my knee. "Eew."

"Well, well, Slippery Slag," the guy who had my shoe laughed. I looked up to see James Potter with that same stupid look on his face. "You looked better covered in bogies."

"Oh, for god's sake, dickhead, give me my goddamn shoe back!" I held out my hand, but he just got a stupid "thoughtful" look on his face, regarding my shoe.

"How much you want for it?" he asked.

"You can't be serious."

"I'm dead serious."

"I paid like sixty bucks for these shoes!"

"Sooo... shall we make it twenty galleons?"

"You wish!" I snorted. "Give it back, now!" He shook his head, a smug smile playing around his lips. I made an attractive growling sound and lunged forward, making a wild grab at the shoe, but he stepped backwards coolly. If I had stopped for like, a second, I could've used my head and, y'know, pulled out my wand. How difficult is it to remember a simple phrase such as "accio shoe"? Trust me, I wonder things like these every damn day. And that's when James and I engaged in an activity I like to call "June's Wild Goose Chase." This involves me wildly chasing him around the entire length of the Gryffindor table, wearing one shoe, of course. And James is laughing his lovely ass off. I mean, scratch the lovely. And this was how it ended:

"Bloody fucking hell!" Professor Abbascia cried out as I suddenly collided with her. "Oh, oops, I mean...grungy...heck," she corrected uncertainly, then she looked me over as I backed up and recovered myself.

"I'm really sorry, Professor Abbascia!" I breathed.

"Oh, that's okay, uhh..."

"June," I finished for her. "June Lorrison."

"Right, right, you're new," she nodded. "So, what brings you to my chest? If you don't mind my asking?"

"Huh? Oh right, well..." I looked around for Potter, but he was nowhere in sight. "Oh, for fuck's sake!" I scowled, then I slapped my hand to my mouth. "I mean...for Frank's...sake."

"It's okay, we're even now," Professor Abbascia nodded understandingly.

"Right, thanks, bye. I've gotta find my shoe..." I hurried away, limping back to Rose. I sat down beside her and looked around. "D'you think you could explain to me why I'm such a spaz lately?" I asked with a sigh.

"Oh, Junie darling," she started, biting her lip. I nodded for her to continue, "I meant to tell you before but... you've got chocolate all over your mouth..."

"I... what?!" I grabbed a knife and looked into it. She was right. Good god. Why did I wake up this morning?

"Good show, good show!" James said through tears of laughter as he slid onto the bench beside me. I glared at him over the handful of napkins I was using to furiously wipe at my mouth. "Here, you've earned this." He placed my shoe on the table.

"Fuck off," I grumbled, snatching the shoe.

"Hostile," he shook his head.

"James, where the hell were you? I thought we were meeting— Oh, hello." It was the curly-haired boy that had been with James during our slime fight. He elbowed James in the back, who let out an "ow!" and made a face, then moved over so that his friend could sit in between himself and I.

"This pushy gentleman is Riley Finnigan," James introduced, "and this is Slippery Slag." He continued, waving a hand in my direction.

"June," I growled forcefully, then I smiled at Riley.

"Right, good to meet you," he said dismissively, then he turned to James and proceeded to speak in a low voice. "I swear to god, you're the worst friend. I'm having an emergency and you said you'd help me, and then you completely forget!"

"What's the emergency?" I asked, then cursed my stupidity, figuring that I was butting in on a private conversation. But, still, they were talking about it right in front of me.

"He's in looove!" James sang, popping his head up over Riley's shoulder and putting a dreamy expression on his face. Riley's hand shot out to cover his friend's mouth.

"Right, sorry, none of my business," I nodded, backing up a little.

"No, no, it's definitely your business!" James called out. "You're a girl, right? You too, Rose! You'll probably be helpful in this situation. I mean, not as much as me, because I'm actually a super-fantastic expert on women of all kinds." He smiled not-so-modestly and shrugged.

"Of course," I muttered.

"No... for some reason, he's right," Rose said thoughtfully and I decided to answer this by rolling my eyes. James merely grinned in agreement and waggled his eyebrows at me.

"Anyway, tell them who you love," James nudged Riley who groaned and gave the other boy a death look. Thank you, Finnigan; glad you agree with me. "Aura Thomas! Who else?" Potter cried when Riley didn't say anything. He groaned again and put his face in his hands.

"Great, cheers, mate," he breathed in exasperation.

"No way!" Rose whispered. "Aura? You two have been best friends since birth, haven't you?" Riley nodded; his face still obscured. "How long have you liked her?"

"Always," he grumbled.

"How come it's an emergency now?" I asked.

"Because she just finally got out of a two-year relationship with Freddie fucking Thompson."

"Ooh, that's right. She likes her Slytherins," Rose nodded.

"Just like my little Rosie!" James crooned suggestively. The look Rose gave him then, I swear, could've killed a mere mortal but hey, I guess this is the James Potter II. Holy fuck, he's in my head now. "Eh? Eh, Rosie-poo? A lovely blonde-haired, Slytherin wanker?"

"Keep singing and I'll make you a fucking castrato," she spat in the most venomous voice I'd ever heard leave her little mouth.

"Wait a minute; what's this you speak of?" I asked, my curiosity officially piqued.

"Do not believe a single word he says!" Rose said through gritted teeth. "It's all lies! It was one stupid time when I was seven or something and I threw a really big snowball at Scorpius Malfoy's face because he called me fat! And ever since then, James will not drop it. He calls it the bollocking-"

"SNOWBALL OF LOVE!" James shouted excitedly. "What? You don't like the name? The only reason little girls throw things at boys is because they fancy them! I am the King of Love, hellooo?"

"Good lord," Riley shook his head. "I'm glad I'm not related to you, mate."

"Thank youu," Rose grumbled. Just then, the sound of a very large bell began to ring through the great hall. "I thought lunch would never end!" She jumped up, grabbing my wrist and pulling me along with her. "History of Magic, here we come!" I looked behind me to see James waving daintily while Riley attempted to engage him in conversation.

As if I hadn't already had enough of James Potter, I still had to attend that special detention that night at six. He had snuck up behind me that evening as I sat in the common room with Rose. He'd yelled "Boo!" (very original) and I'd just about jumped out of my skin. Yes, I am a very, very easily startled person. I scream when I turn a corner and find like, people within a 2-mile radius. So anyway, after he'd successfully fucked my nerves up, he offered to escort me to Jernigan's office, being the gentleman that he is. Rose wished me luck and then we left.

When we got to her office, Professor Jernigan was waiting for us. We entered the room to find her perched on the ledge of a castle, wings outstretched and completely made of stone. Okay, so that's not what really happened, but I swear that's what I expected. She was sitting behind her desk. Her office was painfully neat, like not a single crumb was out of place. And hey, I'm not saying being neat is a bad thing, it's just that this woman is fucking creepy.

"Ah, hello Mr. Potter and uh..."

"Lorrison. June Lorrison," I said, really getting tired of saying my name so much. I bet I'll have nightmares about it tonight. Goddamn dementors screaming my name or something crazy like that.

"Right. Well, I suppose you both know that it is against the rules to A) defile school property, B) muggle fight and C) swear."

"What? We weren't swearing!" I interjected but she shot me a harsh look and I shut up.

"I was," James said after a momentary silence, and grinned cheekily when I glared at him.

"Now," Jernigan said loudly, dissuading further interruptions, "you might be aware that I am a fan of muggle punishments; therefore, the two of you will be cleaning the fourth-floor boys' bathroom which was severely vandalized earlier today."

"Okey dokey," James said, turning around.

"Just one minute!" Jernigan called out and he turned around again with a pained expression on his face. "I'll be taking your wands for the duration of the detention."

"What? You can't do that! Can you do that?" I whined, holding my robes over my wand in protection. She gave us scalding looks. James made a thoroughly unimpressed sound in the back of his throat, but he handed his wand over to the woman's claw-like fingers. I followed suit reluctantly.

"Report back here when you've sufficiently cleaned the bathroom," she directed us, putting our wands into the drawer of her desk. "There is a cart of cleaning supplies outside. I want you to clean the filth that some student conjured there, then I want you to clean the toilets, sinks and mirrors."

"Don't you ever sleep?" I found myself asking in a grumpy tone, then I regretted it when I saw her black eyes land on me again. We quickly left the room.

We found the cart of cleaning supplies, and I thanked Merlin they were magic cleaning products, and not actual muggle products, so it wouldn't be that bad. Wandless cleaning was a hassle, but at least we didn't have to use fricken'...Vim on this stuff...or that stuff with "scrubbing bubbles"...no, wait...that would be awesome. Bubbles that scrub! Muggles do sometimes have the best inventions! Like sliced bread! Man, that's a winner!

"Helloo?" James waved his hand in front of my face, and I blinked. He laughed. "You were starting to drool."

"I was not!" I scowled, then I wiped my hand across my lips. Just to make sure, you know. We started to ascend numerous stairs (a task that proved ridiculously difficult, because the cart had wheels, which are often not compatible with stairs). We eventually got to the bathroom in question, however, and I nearly choked to death when I entered it. My face immediately twisted into a grotesque expression with a wide mouth and bulging eyes. I started coughing and spluttering, then I ran out the door and crossed the hall to the nearest window. I stuck my head out and gasped in breaths of fresh air.

"Yeah, I was gonna warn you abou-" James started, clapping me on the back. He didn't finish because just then my stomach churned violently, and I let out unpleasant gagging sounds as I threw up my dinner. "Oh-ho, gross!" he laughed, slapping his knee.

"Fuck..." I wheezed weakly, tucking my hair behind my ears and peering down at a courtyard far below. Good thing there was no one down there. James was still guffawing at me and I kind of wished I could just lock him in that bathroom for an hour or two.

"Priceless! Oh, Merlin, this is all so worth it!" he clapped his hands.

"You are such an asshole," I grumbled.

"Yeah, I know," he shrugged. "Man, I really thought this detention was going to be a pain, but I have a feeling it's gonna be a riot."

"Oh yeah, that's me; a riot," I wiped my mouth. "How are we supposed to clean this goddamn bathroom if it's like, toxic?"

"Don't worry, it's just a Scum Bomb," James explained lightly.

"How do you know?"

"'Cause I bombed the bathroom this morning," he chuckled, and I gaped at him.

"You did this? I can't believe it! I have to suffer all because of you! First the slime thing and now I have to clean this chamber of horrors that you created!" I shrieked.

"Hey, where's your sense of adventure?" he asked. "Anyway, it would've been a cinch to clean up if I had my wand. But whatever, I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Are you kidding?"

"Catch!" he yelled suddenly, and I threw my hands into the air wildly before I even knew what I was supposed to be catching. "You suck at catching." He shook his head. I looked at the ground to see one of those medical mask things to cover the mouth and nose. It was pink. The one James was wearing was blue. You sexist pig, you. I actually don't really care but hey, I'm in a bad mood. I put the mask on and right away I felt better. The mask was filled with like, fresh mountain air or something like that. There were also two sets of extremely large coveralls. These I put on reluctantly. Mine were very dark blue and James's were dark green. Then we put on yellow, rubber dish gloves.

"I can't believe how stupid I look," I grumbled as we entered the bathroom again. Well thank Merlin I can't actually smell this shit anymore. I looked around the bathroom to see that the whole center of the floor was covered in a layer of greenish-brown muck. Oh, Hogwarts, why are you so abundant in disgusting substances?

We set to work at once on the tiled floor, with scrubby brushes and sponges and magical cleaning products. I just couldn't stop thinking that "scrubbing bubbles" would be so much more useful. James started whistling a merry tune and I felt like shoving a toothbrush in his ear. Now, the only thing I think can account for the speed at which we accomplished this seemingly impossible task is this: I started competing with him to clean more, and then he got competitive. But really, I'm like, ninety-three percent sure I won.

"AH-HA! I WON!" I yelled triumphantly.

"What?" James gave me a look like I was truly insane.

"Uh...never mind..." I returned with an identical look. Yeah, that's right, he's the mad one. Okay, so maybe I just thought we were competing. I sat back, regarding the now decent condition of the bathroom floor. It was still a little gross in the spaces between the tiles, but other than that, good job June. Ha. June: 2, Hogwarts: 2.

"I'm glad you're so enthusiastic about cleaning," he remarked, straightening up. "Really suits you, y'know?"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" I asked and he slapped an innocent look on his face.

"Oh, nothing," he smiled. I rolled my eyes, deciding that maybe, just for a while, I could ignore him. "Okay then, sweetheart, you better get to work on those urinals."

"Eeeww, gross! No way! You do it; you're a guy!" I ended up squealing and he laughed.

"Okay, chipmunk," he conceded. I stuck my gloved middle finger up at him as he turned around, then I picked up a bottle of good ol' toilet bowl cleaner and a toilet brush. Oh Merlin, why have you forsaken me?

"Uuuughhh!" I growled, after struggling with the lid of the toilet bowl cleaner for about five minutes. "What kind of magic is this?" I whined in frustration, about to begin whacking the bottle on one of the toilet stalls.

"It's called a child lock, genius," Potter stated as he crossed the room and well, opened the lid for me. I stuck my tongue out at him impulsively, then felt like a total idiot when all it did was make a small wet spot on my face mask.

"Can we take these things off yet?"

" I doubt the room's aired out enough yet."

I made an annoyed sound, then flounced away to get started on the grungy toilets.

"Uugh, it was a nightmare!" I wailed as I flopped face down on my bed. It was nine o'clock. The cleanup had taken three goddamn hours of my life. I felt someone sit down beside me.

"Hey, I'm Dima. I live in this dorm too. Obviously," the girl said. She had a very petite frame, smaller even than Rose, with brown skin, dark hair and round eyes. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Ugh," I groaned. "Ever had to spend three hours in detention with James Potter?"

"Lucky bitch!" she breathed, then she saw the look I gave her. "I mean, aaww, poor you." I rolled over and Rose sat down on the other side of my bed. I then proceeded to explain absolutely everything that happened, from the gargoyle taking our wands, up to the point where we manhandled the cart back down the stairs to Jernigan's office, who then insisted on judging for herself whether we'd done the job or not. She marched so quickly up the stairs I had to fucking run to keep up with her, so by the end of the journey, I was huffing and puffing, and my face was red and there were sweat marks under my goddamn arms. So, then the woman inspected every square inch of the bathroom, even the godforsaken ceiling (like we could even reach that high). She began listing off every single flaw. Like hey, I bet your mother's beard that that sink has been cracked for at least 200 years. Then she went on like she wasn't going to let us go, she was going to make us drag that cart up all those stairs again and go over the entire bathroom again. But I bet her scaly ass would get fired if she did that, so she let us go.

"Harsh, June," Dima commented when I'd finished.

"Well, hey. Overall, not a bad first day, huh? I mean really, if you think about it, I got farther with James Potter and Professor Abbascia, than most people in this school ever will. And probably fantasize about...ick."

"Wait, what?" Dima asked with a bemused expression on her face.

"Oh, well I kinda ran into Abbascia's boobs."

"I see. Well, all right. Way to put a positive spin on it," Dima nodded. "Oh, by the way, I heard about your nickname. Not bad in retrospect."

"What d'you mean?"

"Trust me, it gets a lot worse than Slippery Slag."

"Oh! Ladies! I am exhausted!" Aminta cried breathlessly as she strode into the room and collapsed onto her bed. The three of us sat up and she peered over at us. "Oh, party on June's bed? Mmkay." And with that she got up and collapsed on my bed.

"Need we ask why you're exhausted?" Dima inquired cheekily and Aminta winked.

"Kane just couldn't keep his hands off me!" she whispered dramatically.

"Kane?" I asked.

"Boyfriend!" Aminta chirped.

"They've been going out since second year," Rose explained. "Kane's a seventh year Hufflepuff."

"Wow!" I breathed. "That's...a long time."

"Mhmm," Aminta smiled. "Haven't seen him since June! Boy, did he miss me."

"Ever wondered why Minty's lips are so big?" Dima chuckled and Aminta whacked her on the arm.

"Hey! I don't do that! Well, not much."

"I just meant snogging," Dima rolled her eyes.

"Oh, well in that case, yeah!" she smiled cheerfully, then announced that she was going back out to the common room for some "Gryffindor Pride Time", whatever that means, and she disappeared through the door again. Dima arose then, claiming that it was almost bedtime for her. She went into the bathroom and I turned to Rose.

"Who's err, Scorpion?" I asked, then frowned because I knew I'd got the name wrong. She curled her lip in disgust though.

"Scorpius Malfoy," she corrected. "Don't go there, sister. He's a grotty little tosser!"

"I... take it you don't like him?"

"Not particularly," she shrugged. "Don't you remember? He called me fat!" She folded her arms and frowned. "I was very impressionable at that age. I really thought I was fat! Jerkfaced plonker."

"Right, right. Well, high five for not being jerkfaced plonkers!" We high fived. Dima came back in then and slurred through a mouthful of toothpaste that she was going to sleep now, so if we didn't mind then we could either be silent as a grave or vacate to the common room. The choice was obvious, so Rose and I re-entered the common room. We found Aminta complaining about the "lazy, boring bastards" in our house. Apparently, she had been expecting a party.

"We're all exhausted. First day of classes, you know?" a girl with a round face explained.

"Bullshit," Aminta said. "You'd better believe that there's gonna be an explosive jamboree tomorrow night. Junie-Bee, Rosie-Bo, you two are going to help me prepare, yeah?"

"Uuh..." Rose and I uttered, glancing at each other.

"Good!" Aminta exclaimed, before we'd answered. "Hey, Aura! Over here, love-y!" she called to a tall, slim girl with remarkably radiant skin. She wore a perturbed expression on a stunningly beautiful face. That's Aura Thomas? No wonder Riley's in love with her. I couldn't help thinking as I prevented my jaw from hitting the floor. She walked over and gave a nice, though rather forced smile, to the group of us. "Problem, girlfriend?"

"Oh yes, problem," Aura replied wrathfully. "I'm only just on my way to make Freddie wank-fucking-bollocks-arsehole-prat Thompson regret his birth for the rest of his wretched life." She stated fiercely, narrowing her eyes. "But how are you, hun?" she asked in a considerably more pleasant tone.

"Pleased with current boyfriend, unlike you. Sorry to hear about the scum sucker," Aminta replied affectionately. "Go get him, tiger! If anyone's fit to fight for the rights of women against the hairy, slack-jawed tools that are the male population of everywhere, it's you." They kissed each other on the cheek, then Aura waved to the rest of us and strode decisively through the portrait hole.

"I thought it was past curfew?" I said as I watched her leave.

"Ah, the perks of being Head Girl."

"Ooh. Who's Head Boy?"

"Mmmm... " Rose hummed as she moved a pointed finger around the moderately crowded room. "Him!" she said as her finger landed on none other than James Potter and his group of friends. For a horrifying moment, I thought she was pointing at James, then I saw that she was in fact pointing at the one with slightly crazy auburn hair and a sensible look in his blue eyes. "That's Lucas Styles, Gryffindor's seventh year brainiac. And the token nerd of the Potter Pack."

"The what?"

"Potter Pack?"

"You people sure love alliteration, don't you? Slytherin Sluts, Hufflepuff Hags, Slippery Slag and now Potter Pack. Sheesh."

"Hey, it makes things a lot easier to remember," Rose shrugged. "Also, we're not very creative."

I blew out my cheeks and slumped down into an armchair in front of the fire. It was difficult not to hear the absurd antics that I'm sure the "Potter Pack" was getting up to, just out of sight. From what I saw when I looked over, it included the "King" himself, Riley Finnigan, Lucas Styles and a guy from my Potions class whose name, for the life of me, I can't recall. I also happened to glance back and see James launching into a mostly joking (I think) flirtatious attack on a decent looking seventh-year girl. The girls in my vicinity were now talking about fresh rumors or something, all concerning people I didn't know. I was beginning to get really, really sleepy now. Cleaning a huge, rancid bathroom and having to deal with that hyperactive freak for so long definitely takes its toll on you. My eyes began to droop, and then they closed, and the background noises slowly but surely dwindled to a comforting buzz.