Author's Note: Here's a sexy chapter. And a bit heavy I guess, too. That's another thing James is good for: comedic relief.
Content Warning: Strong language, alcohol, sexual content.
Chapter 6
The Word "Over"
(Aura)
My reflection stared back at me from the floating mirror. Conventionally attractive, perhaps too conventionally attractive, my face had always been my most distinguishing feature. The symmetry. The delicate nose everyone told me I was lucky to have inherited from my mother. Full lips. A complexion that earned me envious glances from the girls at school, and countless questions about my skincare routine. I don't do anything special though, I'm just lucky, I guess.
And when they weren't admiring my face, it was my dark hair that glistened and swayed like oil spun into shining black thread. It had taken work to prove that I was more than what everyone could see. A lot of work. My parents had wanted me to take dance lessons. Almost everyone I met said I should be a model, especially when I started growing tall and lean. And no one ever wanted to hear what I had to say. No one ever cared what I wanted.
Even after years of avoiding unnecessary social interaction in favor of reading or learning something new; every moment of class time dedicated to learning, and almost all of my free time spent studying and memorizing and improving; overachieving my way through extracurriculars and Prefect, then Head Girl; even then, I don't think anyone takes me seriously. Not to mention the "distraction" of my own female form, no matter what type of clothing I choose to wear. Being viewed as a piece of meat by many men from the age of ten or so, got old really quick.
I sneered at the mirror as I applied a coat of deep red lipstick. As soon as I was finished, I took the tip of the lipstick to the mirror, drawing in a bushy unibrow, a large nose, a mole, a hideous mouth and a beard. When I had finished, I looked just like the victims of Riley's fascination with defacing newspapers. But no matter how ugly I looked in the mirror, it still didn't compare to how horrifically wretched I felt inside. What I wanted to do was smash the mirror, wipe off all my makeup, scream my lungs out and bury myself in bed to sleep for one hundred years.
I put the mirror down and stood up, shedding my lounge clothes and replacing them with this year's masterpiece of a Halloween costume. As Head Girl, I feel that it is my duty to spread the love and school spirit for every holiday. That's why I offered to help the Slytherins organize their party. So, naturally I got landed with all the technical, mathematical, geometric work and such, while they did everything fun. Not that I'm complaining; I'm good at it anyway.
This year my costume is that of a gypsy, with a teal corset-type top and a layered skirt in different shades of purple, including a coin-trimmed sash. My shoulders stuck out of frilly, off the shoulder sleeves and my long hair fell in curls under a mauve headscarf. With an excess of jewelry weighing me down, I left the dormitory and strutted through the common room. I was almost immediately greeted by Riley. He always seems to find me, wherever I am.
"Phwoar," he breathed with a goofy smile, "can you say, 'sex goddess'?"
"Oh shush," I said, but he had succeeded in bringing a genuine smile to my face, if only for a moment. "Your flattery skills are sure to get you far in life," I added, and he agreed not-so-modestly. "I'm not aiming for sex goddess; I'm aiming for authoritative-yet-fun-and-still-quite-threatening-Head-Girl."
"Well, might I say you've captured that perfectly as well," he told me with a winning smile. The slimy smooth talker. "Well then; the night awaits, my lady." He made a dramatic flourish with his hands and gestured for me to go through the portrait hole before him.
"You're such a tool, Rye," I laughed at him over my shoulder as we entered the halls. "What are you supposed to be anyway?"
"Isn't it obvious?" he asked, looking down at himself. He was wearing a regular t-shirt and jeans, but there was a ball and chain attached to his leg, which conveniently floated along behind him. "I'm married!" he declared, grinning. I raised my eyebrows.
"Hilarious," I muttered, shaking my head and laughing.
When we got to the Room of Requirement, it was already hopping. Everyone who was anyone was there and, naturally, that meant pretty much anyone who had been descended from anyone who was even remotely related to someone who was involved in the Battle of Hogwarts. Funny how that happens.
Riley and I made our way to one of the many tables with fancy tablecloths. We each got a bottle of beer. I would try to pace myself tonight and not drink too much. I had to keep a clear head so I could keep things from getting too out of hand. Unlike the Gryffindor back to school party. I don't think any of us escaped the clutches of intoxication. I don't even remember most of what happened that night.
"Yeeesss! There you are, Ryster!" someone called through the clamor of bad Witch bands and teenage frivolity. James came barreling through the crowd to throw his arm around Riley's shoulder, almost knocking them both over in the process. "What a bash, huh guys? What a bash!"
"It just started, Jim," Riley muttered, removing James's arm from his shoulder. I was hardly surprised to see the sudden appearance of Lucas Styles and Henry Burke beside James.
"Check it out!" James said to me, throwing his arms out at his sides dramatically. I raised an eyebrow at his costume, as well as Lucas's and Henry's. "Hilarious, isn't it? Never thought you'd see the day that I'd be wearing Slytherin robes!"
"They look good on you," I said with a snide smile. He rolled his eyes. Lucas was dressed in Ravenclaw robes, very fitting, and Henry was in Hufflepuff colors. I suppose they thought it would be pointless for Riley to wear Gryffindor robes, so he was excluded. These four were always so lazy about Halloween though. In fifth year, their costumes consisted of nametags with each other's names on them. For the whole day, Riley pretended to be James, James pretended to be Lucas, Lucas pretended to be Henry and Henry pretended to be Riley. In fact, this is the only other year they actually did anything for Halloween. The lazy, no-school-spirit bastards.
As soon as I'd looked away and then back at the Potter Pack, James was no longer there. I soon saw him prancing around and "acting like a Slytherin" as Henry told me.
"Hey, what gives, James just spilled my drink!" June Lorrison complained, walking over to us with an empty fluorescent cup in her hand. She was directing her comment at Riley.
"Why does everyone talk to me about him? I have no control over him," he said with a shrug.
"Who does have control over him?" Lucas asked with a laugh. At this we all cast our eyes to where James was now. And then we watched as Eve Stroud seemingly held an enchantment over him. She was speaking to him with a sultry smile as she smoothed his robes.
"What a hoe, I can't believe guys actually fall for that," June scoffed.
"Fall for...huh?" Henry mumbled, eyes fixed on Eve Stroud's scanty harem costume which consisted of a sheer-sleeved half top with gold and jewel accents, as well as a sheer veil draped loosely around her stomach. The pants were dark and translucent, revealing her slender legs and a pair of very short shorts. She wore a small round hat with an attached dark veil that hung loosely by her neck. She wore many bangles on her wrists as well as exotic earrings and rings. She positively jangled whenever she moved.
James was grinning and quipping and ruffling his hair, from what I could tell from the distance. He looked like he was quite enjoying his proximity to Eve. And her attention. And her outfit.
I spotted Marcy Cartwright, on the other side of the room and left the Potter Pack. I caught her eye, and she motioned me over.
"Aura, you look amazing!" Marcy cried, giving me a hug. She had a very large mouth that she liked to smile very widely with and talk a lot. "Carlie was just telling Leon, Maddie, Delilah, Bonnie, Darnell, Marianna, Scorpius, Zaid, Thaddeus, Sam, Tristen, Kari, Albus, Adrian, Audrey, April, Charlotte, Dakota, Rashad, Andrzej, Michael, Amelia, Teagan, Joshua, Tyler, Marc and I a story." It was a mouthful only Marcy could master. She gulped in a large breath after it and grinned. She had pointed to each of the members of the huge group as she'd said their name.
"Can you hear the story?" I asked doubtfully.
"Oh yes, Carlie has wonderful projection!" Marcy explained, nodding her head vigorously. "Continue, then," she directed the tall blonde girl.
"Right, well, when the dogs finally left, Johnny had passed out and we had to wake him up before the dogs or the muggles came back. He didn't wake up though, not for anything, so we ended up dragging him out of the tree house." Carlie Stephens chuckled, her eyes wandering to the side every now and then in recollection. "When we got to the bottom, we heard sirens and then wham! just like that there were about five cop cars outside the house. We all ducked down and had to flatten ourselves against the fence while we crawled along the ground. Then we heard the cops entering the backyard. I was just about to jump up and madly run at them screaming my head off (don't ask me why; it just seemed like the only thing to do), but just then I fell backwards, through the fence, and I started rolling at top speed down this massively steep, rocky hill! And when I woke up, the first thing I asked myself was not 'why am I bleeding profusely outside a restaurant?' it was 'why am I wearing a fuzzy rabbit hood and a construction worker's reflective vest?'"
"I feel like I missed something," I said with a frown.
"Well, you see," Marcy began immediately, "they stole the rabbit hats from a dollar store, then Johnny caused a scene with a plastic gun at a party with a bunch of middle-aged muggles who called the police when Carlie and her friends ran off with armloads of alcohol."
"Uh huh..."
"And that's when they ended up in someone's house with five vicious dogs attacking them, so they hid in a closet where they found construction worker clothes."
"Ah, it all makes sense now," I said, if only to get Marcy to shut up for a moment. But it seems that the only time she stops talking is when she's snogging someone. And basically, the only person she snogs regularly is James Potter. Not that even he can stand her except when she's plastered to his face.
"Hey," someone muttered and I looked up. It was Scorpius and his best-mate-for-life-more-like-brothers, Zaid Travers, standing a little behind him. I regarded them both warily. "Sorry about Freddie. He's a git."
"You think I don't know that?" I scoffed and he laughed.
"He's my friend though and I know him..."
"Yes?"
"It's just that...he's a bit off," he explained, or tried to explain. "It's just that I think it'd be a lot better for him if you left him alone." My mouth dropped open slightly.
"Me leave him alone. I've tried! It's not my fault he loves making a scene in front of the whole school and embarrass me!"
"He's not the one seeking you out and bringing up past disagreements," he argued, his attitude changing completely from neutral outsider to opponent. "You won't leave him alone. You just want to stir everything up again because you can't let go of him. If you can't have a romantic relationship with him, you'll continue to seek him out and fight with him. So, I'm asking you nicely to please let go."
"How dare you talk to me that way!" I snapped at him. "You have no idea what you're talking about so would you please mind your fucking business and stay out of it! This is between Freddie and me!"
"You're a crazy bitch!" Zaid interjected in a frantic yell before Scorpius roughly shoved him back.
"Shut up, Zaid," he muttered, then he turned back to me only to have my hand powerfully smack him across the cheek with a deafening sound and a painful burn. He let out a sharp breath, putting his hand to the red mark on his cheek, then he said with clenched teeth, "I'm not trying to make this any harder than it should be. I'm not the bad guy. All I want is to have a reasonable conversation with you about my friend. Can you just give me a chance? Can you give Freddie a chance to move on?"
"Move on?" I spluttered, almost too angry for words. "Freddie dumped me. He is a vile, cruel, disease-ridden rodent! He doesn't deserve any chances!"
"He told us you dumped him..." Scorpius said. I clenched my jaw, my eyes burning into his. I opened my mouth, an onslaught of words wanting to thunder out, but all that emerged was a strangled, infuriated scream. I turned on my heel, storming through the masses of dancing, mingling students. And then I saw him. He was chatting up a sixth year Slytherin with his hand resting on the wall just over her shoulder. She was giggling. I strode up to them and stood straight and tall, folding my arms over my chest. Freddie straightened up when he saw me.
"I don't think you want to get that close to him," I directed at the girl while my eyes remained on Freddie's face. He stared back firmly. "You wouldn't believe the places he's been." The girl looked back and forth between the two of us, then she squeezed through us and disappeared into the crowd.
"What is it now, sweetheart?" he sneered at me. I shifted my jaw back and forth in fury, then I grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him across the room and out the door into the empty hallway. I let go of him suddenly and roughly, causing him to stumble backwards slightly into a wall. "You've got me alone now, what are you going to do to me?" Freddie asked in a teasing tone. I opened my mouth and again I could feel every word that I wanted to throw at him burning up my throat. My fists clenched and unclenched. I wanted to scream, to cry, but nothing came out. His deep green eyes seemed to drench my whole body in ice water.
I lunged forward, the only sound that escaped my throat a small, tense, breathy sound, and I brought my body to his. We melded perfectly together, and I felt my whole being shudder as our lips touched for the first time in what seemed like forever. His arms held me so naturally and effortlessly, just like no time had passed at all. Every time his lips pressed against mine, I felt myself heat up more and more. He turned us around so that it was me against the wall, not him.
I wanted to cry, to scream. The more he touched me, the more the excitement inside me built up until I felt ready to burst. I just wanted him, now. He pulled away from me so that his face was now about five inches from mine. I whimpered in protest and tried to bring him close again, but his dark eyes just bored into mine. Then he took my hand and led me through the castle. All my senses tingled as his cold hand firmly grasped mine for the whole journey. And then we were at the top of the world. The astronomy tower.
As soon as he had closed the door, he rounded on me, running his hands over my body in a way that made my senses go crazy. We wasted no time in undressing. The gypsy costume, with all its confusing bits and pieces frustrated me. My hands shook furiously.
The cold stone floor was like ice against my bare back, but it hardly mattered. I hardly even noticed the freezing soon-to-be-November air. Freddie's body was like molten lava, pressed against me, pouring over me smoothly, serenely. With every move he made, I felt sparks flying and tingling all over me. I could feel his warmth within me and without me.
That must have been the best sex of my life. Only, now that I look back on it, I know that it must have been the product of my recent inactivity, my tumultuous emotional state and my feelings for Freddie, whatever they are. It had felt so incredible, but now I just felt hollow. Freddie had left almost immediately after, muttering a quick "cheers, later". I sat by myself for a moment, just closing my eyes and breathing, not thinking of anything. Still no tears.
When I rejoined the party, about a quarter of the students had either left or passed out on couches or chairs or the floor. The rest of them were still going strong though. I headed to get myself a drink. Screw responsibility. I filled a cup with probably too much Firewhiskey mixed with butterbeer. With this, I commence drowning my sorrows.
"Seriously, T, I need all the information you can provide..." James's voice said urgently.
"Would you stop avoiding me and give me a straight up answer?" Riley's voice demanded at the same time. I looked up to see Teagan striding across the room purposefully as the two boys hurried to keep up with her, one on each side, yammering into her ears.
"You're truth-ly my only, only hope!"
"Why don't you tell me anything?"
"Did you carry me on your back?"
"I'm your goddamn brother! I'm supposed to take care of you!"
I wondered how she could stand it. I also found myself quite intrigued as to what each of them was talking about. I was almost certain that each of the boys was too preoccupied with his own problems to even realize that the other was there. Hmm, watch this scene without the volume and you basically have the fantasy playing in the minds of about 80% of the female population here at Hogwarts.
Being nosey (a quality that I believe to come packaged with the Head Girl/Head Boy badges), I made my way over to the three of them, under the pretense of starting up a conversation with Riley. I got there just as Teagan rounded on them both angrily.
"For god's sake, Riley, why do you care so much that I have a boyfriend?" she snapped. "I've had boyfriends before, and you never cared then! I didn't tell you because we literally started going out two days ago. I'm not going to send you a goddamn owl the second a guy looks at me!" Riley backed up a step as her eyes flared. "And you!" she continued, facing James with a flick of her hair. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, you drunk fuck." As if to prove her point, a goofy, crooked grin spread across James's flushed face.
"I'm wondering 'fyou know how do- how I got into the girls's dorms that one night," he explained in an innocent voice. She frowned at him. "You know! The time I woke up in your bathtub and found you in yer frilly knickers. Fit body, by the way, but you wouldn't happen to know-"
"When the fuck was this?!" Riley shouted then. Teagan sighed with an exasperated roll of her eyes. James only peered at Riley with a look of confusion on his face, as if he hadn't yet made the connection that Teagan was Riley's little sister. "You are not allowed to look at my sister ever again, you hear?" He pointed at James, with his finger only an inch away from the other boy's nose. James immediately crossed his eyes in order to examine the tip of the finger more thoroughly.
"Riley, I was meaning to ask you something..." I said, deciding that this was the time to intervene. I gently pulled him by his other arm. He hardly even noticed that I was doing this as he continued to glare and shout things at James with his pointing hand still frozen in the air. Drunken teenage boys are so strange. "Here, my lover, this'll cure what ails you," I added in a coaxing voice as I put my cup to his lips. He drank from it, winced, then put his arm down and turned to me.
"Aur. Where did you go off to?" he asked, seeming to completely forget about his previous conversation. But then again, the members of the Potter Pack never seem to remember when they're angry with each other. It's almost unheard of for an argument of theirs to last for more than a day. I suppose that's what you'd call a perfect friendship.
"I just, uh..." I started, then I took a too-large gulp of my drink to give me time to think. It gave me time. It also gave me a choking fit. After several moments of hacking, coughing and Riley patting me on the back, I was up again and fixing my hair. I cleared my throat. "I was just talking to Freddie," I said at last, rubbing my lips together tensely. "It's...it's over now...I guess..."
That's when it hit me. For the first time since we broke up, I realized what this meant. It had taken me over a month to get it. It positively took my breath away. I felt as though I'd been punched in the stomach, just then. I let out a mute groan, stumbling and holding onto Riley's shoulder for support. I put my other hand to my chest where it felt like my ribcage had been replaced by an empty, dusty birdcage. A birdcage that was being steadily crushed into a little ball.
"Aura! What's wrong?" Riley asked, his words drenched in worry. He held onto my shoulders as I gasped for air.
"I-hah-I need-hee-need air!" I breathed out, digging my fingers into his shoulder. He nodded curtly, then put my arm over his shoulder and his around my waist and tried to pull me toward the door. It was unsuccessful, however, as my legs had ceased functioning.
"No problem," he whispered to me, then he bent down and pulled my legs up to his chest. This took me by surprise, but I still had enough sense to clasp my arms around his neck tightly. I've known this kid all my life and I've never known him to do any form of fitness. Hell, for as long as I've known him, I was the one who opened all the tough jars and did the heavy lifting. Riley's always been a shrimp. I will never know how he carried me all the way from the Room of Requirement to the top of the Astronomy Tower. Oh lord, why here? Unfortunately, I didn't have the means to tell him that I would rather be anywhere but here. I was still having difficulty breathing. "Hang on," Riley muttered, pulling his wand out and flicking it. Nothing happened for a while, then something bright yellow zoomed in through the open door and into Riley's hand.
"What's that?" I managed to choke out. It was a bottle. He unscrewed the lid, to which was attached a small stick with a circle at the end.
"Blow," he directed me calmly. I wanted to give him the most scathing look possible, but it wasn't the time. So, I blew into the circle that he held in front of my lips. A series of bubbles burst forth from my stream of breath and I smiled. Riley handed me the bottle and the bubble wand then sat back and watched as I busied myself with the steady production of bubbles. I paused several minutes later as I realized that I was breathing normally and, though the emptiness and tightness in my chest hadn't left, I felt relatively okay again.
"How did you do that?" I ask.
"My cousin has frequent panic attacks. Her psychiatrist gave her a big supply of muggle bubbles. Blowing bubbles forces you to breathe." He shrugged. "And they're just happy," he added with a boyish smile. I laughed.
"Thank you," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder.
"No problem," he replied. I stood up and walked over to one of the ledges where I rested my elbows. "Do you want to talk?" Me and Riley shared everything with each other always. That's how it always was. Hell, he even supported me the first time I got my period. To be precise, he took me out for ice cream. That was the beauty of our friendship, I guess. He was always willing to listen to me go on and on about all my problems. It's truly impossible to find a straight guy like that, at least for me.
"It's just that..." I started, feeling tears prick my eyes, but I forced them back. I was not going to cry. I bit my lip. This was one of the rare moments where I just didn't want to tell Riley everything. I knew he'd get that awful, disappointed, judging look as soon as I told him about shagging Freddie. For the last time. "I don't know...it's just that this was the most serious relationship I've ever been in. And now it's just shit. That's all." I looked down at my fingers as they clutched my arms tightly. I could feel my nails digging into my skin through my thin sleeves. I didn't want to tell Riley what I was feeling inside. He didn't need to know. Nobody did. I'm a fucking rock.
I turned around and flashed Riley a dazzling smile. A smile that said, "I'm not feeling a hundred percent right now, but in a couple of days I'll be just smashing." He returned the smile, then stood up.
"You ready to go back?" he asked, and I nodded.
About a week later, I sat in Professor Abbascia's office as I had offered to help her grade second year essays. I was glad we were in the dungeons so there were no windows to look out of and see the gloomy weather. It was all the better that I didn't have to watch the Slytherin Quidditch practice and Captain Freddie Thompson. I was getting a lot better at not thinking about it though, at pushing all thoughts of him, and us, aside. Coursework was a savior, and when I ran out of that, I always had Head Girl duties and volunteering to help teachers, of course.
I was about halfway through my stack of parchment when I heard a stifled whimper from Professor Abbascia. I looked over at her. In one hand she held an envelope and an unfolded piece of parchment. The other hand was pressed to her mouth as her forehead creased and her eyes began to grow watery.
"Uh...Professor..." I said uncertainly and her eyes rested on me. "Are you all right?" I asked, putting down my quill and walking over to her.
"Yes," she said in a wavering squeak. "I'm fine." She sniffled as I sat down in the chair beside her desk. I reached out and patted her on the back reassuringly. This seemed to be her cue to break down completely and she let out a long squeaky wail as she dropped the letter and squeezed her eyes shut. She crumpled into my arms and immediately commenced sobbing loudly into my shoulder. I began to comfort her by stroking her hair and making "shhh" noises while calmly muttering generic phrases like "there, there" and "it's okay." I always got a little annoyed, however, whenever people went "shh" while I cried. It made me feel like they were telling me to shut up.
"Do you need anything?" I asked when her volume had dropped a little. "Tea? Water? Whiskey?" Abbascia shook her head, then she launched into an entirely new series of wails and sobs. I could feel her tears soaking my sweater. I continued to hold my teacher's shuddering body until her cries died down and she fell still. She drew back, snuffling and wiping her cheeks, though tears were still falling from her eyes.
"I gave that bastard everything!" she stuttered as her lips quivered. "I was the fucking greatest wife ever! I let him invite his goddamn friends over for bloody sports nights! I cooked him breakfast, lunch and dinner!" She let out a guttural growling sound, then she ripped open the bottom drawer of her desk and pulled out a half-full bottle of gin. She waved her wand briskly and two glasses appeared. She quickly sloshed small amounts into each glass, then threw back her head and downed the first one. She refilled it again, then rested her head on her hand, watching as she swished the clear liquid around in the glass. "I was so bleeding good to him! And nobody has ever denied that I am a stallion in the bedroom!" My eyebrows suddenly found themselves at a great height and I quickly took a gulp of the liquor, making silent faces of revulsion, but luckily Professor Abbascia didn't see.
"I'm sure it's not that bad," I said, trying to say something comforting. This only succeeded in sending her into even more sobs as she snatched the documents and flung them blindly in my direction. I caught them and looked at them. One of them was an envelope from Graham Abbascia to Arabella Abbascia, the next was a brief note and the last one was a booklet of divorce papers with blanks for Abbascia to sign. She was downing another glass of gin. The note read: "Arabella, this isn't working anymore. We've both changed. The distance is making me realize that we aren't meant to be together. I'm sure you feel the same way. I hope we can still be friends. Sincerely, Graham." I put the papers down. "I'm so sorry."
"No, don't be sorry! This is good!" Abbascia said, though her weepy behavior proved otherwise. "The saggy little bastard cheated on me-hee-hee-hee-heeee!" she howled.
"Oh...noo," I breathed, unsure of what to say next. "I'm sure that's not what it is..."
"Of course, it is," she snorted. "I've known for months. I even visited him once and-and the flat was spotless! And it smelled like flowers! And there was a painting on the wall, and he told me a coworker gave it to him! I'm such an idiot!"
"No, you're not, it could happen to anyone," I told her reasonably, then I froze. "That bastard! What if he-" I stopped myself. It would be easy to storm up to Freddie another time and start an explosive argument, but it wouldn't solve anything. It was over...
"Freddie?" Professor Abbascia asked, and I looked up questioningly. "We all live together in a castle, Aura; everyone knows." I hung my head. It seemed so wrong, the past few months, as if they were just a nightmare that wouldn't go away. It was strange to think that since September alone, I had gone from being the poised, beaming, social butterfly, outstanding student, newly Head Girl (a position I had been lobbying for all the past year) to an emotionally unstable, panic-attack-prone, short-fused, total basketcase.
"You know what you and I need?" Abbascia asked with a snuffle. I gave her a look to go on. "We need to go clubbing."
"Uh..."
"You're 17, right?"
I nodded.
"You've got your apparating license?"
I nodded again.
"Sorted. Meet me back here at oh, say, seven?"
"You know that's against the rules," I started, and she scoffed. "You could get in very serious trouble for this!"
"As if anyone would find out," Abbascia shrugged. "And anyway; we both need this. Think of it as a workshop. A life workshop. It's education: we can't get in trouble for that."
"If you say so," I said, raising my eyebrows. I put my hand over hers for a moment, then I stood up, collected my things and left.
Brushing my hair after a shower, I sat and looked out the window at the trees as they whipped around in the fierce wind. The rain threw itself down sideways in a fearsome competition with every other droplet in the air, and then they crashed triumphantly into the ground or the side of the castle or the trees. A chill seemed to seep through the glass of the window and reach out to touch me. It had been getting darker earlier and earlier lately, and now the sky was a deep navy blue, stained with dark, smudgy clouds.
I threw a long, warm coat on and then left the common room, where the Potter Pack had begun to make a scene, drawing in as many innocent bystanders as they could. I stalked through the halls in my metallic heels, past all the students wondering where I was off to, looking so dressed up.
I had the worst feeling of foreboding as I walked to Professor Abbascia's office. I couldn't help but feel like I was making a really stupid decision. What if Abbascia was just not in her right mind? If I'm lucky she'll just tell me she's changed her mind and send me off to bed. Or maybe she's still round the twist? Why did I ever agree to this? But I knew why. There was a tiny bit of me that believed that Professor Abbascia was right; the two of us, we needed this. Sometimes you have to go a little bit out of your comfort zone. The only problem was that I always seemed to have a gigantic pit of worry and guilt eating up my insides whenever I decided to "go a little bit out of my comfort zone."
When I entered the dungeon office (a beautiful, quirky, comfy contrast to the dull stone and drafty corridors), I was a little taken aback by what I saw. Professor Abbascia spun around when she heard the door, and she flashed me a smile from ear to ear.
"How do I look?" she asked brightly, motioning to her dress. It was the least I'd ever seen any of my teachers wearing. It was simply a skintight tube dress seemingly made of blue sequins alone. It showed off all of her curves and was short enough to accentuate the slender legs, looking longer thanks to her heels. I, myself, was at least two inches taller than her.
"Marvelous," I breathed.
" So do you, by the way." She beamed, turning back to her desk where a small clutch rested. She spritzed herself with perfume, checked her metallic eye makeup, her lip gloss, her hair, her teeth, then she looked back at me. "You're bringing a coat?" she asked, and I looked down at it.
"It's minus ten out there," I replied.
"It'll be a hundred in the club," Abbascia told me. "Trust me; I know. Besides, we're apparating. We won't be in the cold for a minute." I gave her a doubtful look, but took my coat off anyway, to reveal a longer, looser, black dress. "Well, let's go then," she said decidedly, nodding to the door.
We took a quite direct route from Abbascia's office to the front doors and out into the freezing, dark winter. I was surprised at how few people we came across. I hugged my arms around myself as we walked through the darkened grounds in the direction of the gate. A steady wind whipped around us, causing goose bumps to spring up on my bare skin. I glanced over at Abbascia, who seemed unconcerned with the weather. I wonder where the hell she grew up, Iceland?
After what seemed like forever, we reached the high, wrought-iron gate. Professor Abbascia took out her wand, did a few cryptic waves and flourishes, then the gate shuddered and opened. As soon as we were out, we apparated to somewhere in London.
"All right. Let the party commence," Professor Abbascia said, pulling the half full bottle of gin out of her small clutch. She took several large gulps, then passed it to me. I took smaller sips, then returned it to her.
"Where are we, Professor?" I asked.
"Oh, please, call me Arabella!" she said.
"Of course," I replied.
Only about an hour later did I figure out that this was probably a bad idea. The club was packed. The dance floor was a sweaty, writhing mess of bodies. The music was deafening, and it reverberated through my whole body, making me feel like all my organs had suddenly fallen in sync with the rhythm. Abbascia always remained in the center of the crowd, dancing with as many half-decent men she could find. Guys kept coming up and dancing with me, but my head was just so full of worries that I hardly paid any attention to them.
And it was weird that I was here with my professor. It wasn't like she was that much older than me but, it was weird. Why had I thought it wouldn't be? This was so inappropriate. The buzz that had been carrying me through the night was beginning to wear off, and I just felt uncomfortable and wrong.
Professor Abbascia rushed over to me then, looking flushed and excited. She grabbed me by the arm and brought me over to a booth where two wizards were already sitting.
"Aura, look who I ran into!" she said, sitting down beside one of the men. "This is Peter; we went to school together."
"Oh, nice to meet you, I'm Aura," I introduced, extending my hand. He shook it and I sat down across from Abbascia.
"This is my mate, Simon," Peter told me, gesturing to the man I was sitting beside. He looked me up and down, smiling. The men bought us some drinks and we talked. Professor Abbascia appeared to be on the top of the world, and she was flirting with Peter like there was no tomorrow. They were leaning against the padding of the booth, facing each other, and I could tell that he was rubbing her leg under the table.
Simon nudged me and I looked over at him. He started talking to me about the weather, then about sports, then about the news. I was beginning to feel like I had just turned on the radio. The more lager he drank, the more he kept looking at me like I was a gift he was getting ready to open. And all the while he had that awful little smile on his face as though he were actually charming me. I looked down as I emptied my glass, watching the dregs of a pink cocktail slipping down the transparent sides into nothing. turned my eyes back to him and watched his mouth working. Then it stopped, and he looked at me expectantly. I hadn't heard a word he had said, so I just smiled and nodded.
He started leaning in to kiss me then, and I leaned back so suddenly I hit my head on the edge of the booth. There was a solid thud and I cursed loudly. Abbascia and Peter looked over. Professor Abbascia gasped in alarm while Peter merely winced.
"Aura, are you okay?" Professor Abbascia asked, leaning over Peter to place a hand on my head.
"No, I'd like to go," I said quickly. My head did hurt from where it had collided with the hard wood of the booth, but more than anything I was entirely out of my depth and not comfortable in the least. I felt like screaming. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Professor Abbascia apologized to the wizards while I waited impatiently, just far enough that they couldn't engage me in further conversation. It felt like I was standing there forever, my feet beginning to ache all over in my silver shoes, while Abbascia said goodbye. Was she saying goodbye? Merlin, how long did it take?
We walked through the empty entrance hall, finally back at Hogwarts. I was shivering, but Professor Abbascia didn't appear to be phased by the cold. She had a faraway look in her eyes, and I wasn't entirely sure she even remembered I was there. I walked a few steps behind her, exhausted down to my soul.
I followed Professor Abbascia up another flight of stairs and down a long corridor before she seemed to become aware of me. She looked at me a little blankly, then blinked and her expression changed to one of concern.
"Are you all right, Aura?" she asked. I almost gaped at her in amazement.
"No, Professor," I replied frankly. She frowned at me. She was drunk, of course. I let out a sigh. "That just felt… super wrong to me. I think you should probably be more… respectful of the student-teacher relationship and… more responsible…" I hadn't felt comfortable all night, but I felt even less comfortable speaking up about it.
She stared at me, and for a moment I thought she was terribly angry. Then, her face disintegrated into tears. She sank fluidly down to her knees, crying, almost wailing. Then, in another smooth movement, she was lying on the stone floor, with her legs curled up to her chest.
I stared down at her in alarm, unable to do anything for a moment. As she continued wailing, though, I realized I should make her quiet down unless I wanted the whole castle to wake up.
"Hey, hey!" I said gently. "Prof- I mean, Arabella. Shh."
She looked up at me as she sat up. Hair was sticking to her tear-stained face, and she reached a hand up to brush it away. She was still crying, but quieter now, and sniffling. Then she buried her face in her hands and wailed something incoherent into them.
"What's that, Professor?" I asked.
"I should have never dragged you into my bullshit," she said in a quavering voice. "I'm sorry."
"Oh," I said. I don't know what I had been expecting, but it wasn't this.
"Go on," she said through another sob. "You go on to bed, I'll be fine."
I turned, looking up the next flight of stairs. If I kept going, I could be back in Gryffindor tower in no time. Back in my bed. But I couldn't leave Professor Abbascia, literally on the floor, in a puddle of her own tears and potentially vomit. I turned around again and knelt beside her.
"I'll help you get back to your room first," I told her. She assented quietly and let me help her up. We walked together in the direction of her quarters.