Ramblings

By Okapiangel

A/N: I don't own FFX or FFX2 or any of the character's found within. Its a plotless ficlet capturing the ramblings of everyone's favorite thief. Oneshot. If there are fragment's, its because I'm trying to capture thoughts. And we all don't think in perfect english all the time. Kudos to anyone who finds my tribute to Star Wars. Enjoy.

"It's so mortifying!"

My poor cousin hides her face in her hands as the Commsphere plays the message over and over, each time causing her more embarrassment. We all laugh at her (we being me). Of course, in my mind the others are laughing also (others being Paine). See, anyone can see that Paine is smiling – which is just as good as laughing. Especially for Paine. Come to think of it, I think I've only seen here laugh twice – and both times involve me being embarrassed in some way. Embarrassed is easy to become – embarrassed is what happens when you walk into Barkeep's bar – twice – then turn around and face plant the wall. Embarrassed is how you feel every time Brother talks, or when Buddy looks at me with that 'Now I know why you and Brother are related' look. Embarrassed is how you feel when falling in the mud trying to chase down a chocobo.

…Actually, I remember that chocobo! He was such an annoying bird! I think I'll name him Fred. 'Cause Fred is an annoying name. Its like – I don't really know what to name my kid so I'll just name him Fred. Honestly! Try saying the name Fred over and over. Fred Fred Fred Fred Fred Fred… see? Stupid name. Stupid bird too.

So. Fred the Very Annoying Chocobo insisted on running around the same damn piece of broken machine over and over. Then I tripped and fell over a rock. But secretly, I think it was Paine who put the rock in my path. She's always been jealous of my chocobo chasing skills! And that rock hurt! I stubbed my toe on it! And then of course I was covered in mud on the Mi'hen Highroad. And you must be able to imagine how embarrassing it is to watch Fred the Super Beyond Annoying Chocobo run away while lying sprawled out face first in the mud! That's embarrassing.

By this time Yuna is watching the message for the fifth time. Or is it the sixths? Ha! It could be the nineteenth time for all I know! That woman's voice is annoying. It's like all those time that I was working so hard to defeat a fiend – not just any fiend mind you, but one of the big ones. You know those kinds – the big mean, nasty ones that would eat you and laugh as you float in their liver…

Can you even float in the liver? Actually, what does a liver do anyhow?

…Oops. Off topic. It happens from time to time. Hunh…that's odd… Did I even have a topic to begin with? Oh wait! I remember now. So there I am, so many, many, many, many times… Many's a funny word. I like saying it. …Topic. Stay on topic. There I am, fighting fiends, and nearly defeating them, when that big meany would just waltz up and say, "Enough!" and slash the heck out of my fiend! As if I needed help! I was the one who wore them down in the first place! That's quite possibly the most annoying thing he did.

…Actually, not telling me, "Goodbye," was probably more annoying. I mean, we were friends. We were tight! He helped me hone my fighting skills – not that I needed much help. In fact, near the end of our journey I was leaving Him in the dust – especially when I found my Godhand.

Hmmm… I wonder where I put that thing?

But still. We were tight! I'd amuse him, and he taught – helped – me to be the kick butt fighter I am today. And believe you me, that man was not easy to amuse. Probably because he had that whole, 'Rawr-I'm-A-Dead-Man' thing going on. Actually though, he was almost attractive when he laughed. He didn't look so cranky then. And to think, all I had to do was sneak a drink from his jug. That stuff is rank! No wonder he spat it out at fiends! I've never seen him laugh so hard – you'd think he'd have at least an itty bitty bit of sympathy for me. But noooo. It was worth it though to see him happy for a few minutes. And still, after everything I did for him, when he left he only noticed Yuna. …Kinda like now. It's not my biography Annoying Sphere Woman wants to write – it's hers. And she's staring at her like she's Seymour back from the dead… again.

Why do I care so much? Paine doesn't. Paine's amused for Yuna. But then, Paine's always liked her privacy. Once I tried to delve into the 'World of Paine.' Delve. Ha! Delve is such an awesome word. I remember that old rhyme from when I was a kid. It was my favorite line ever… eleven, twelve, dig and delve. I never cared much for the rest of the rhyme. Just that one line. I would sing it over and over, and it would drive Gippal –

…WOAH… Not going down that path! I'm not going to waste a thought on that self-absorbed, egotistical, scruffy looking – crap. Still thinking of him. What was I talking about before? Oh! World of Paine! I wanted to know what her secrets were. I know she tells Yuna. But not me. Like she can't trust me with her deepest, darkest, juicy secrets… So I decided to search for her diary. How did I know she had a diary? I didn't. But I had a hunch. Call it a gut feeling. And I trust my gut. Unfortunately, that day my gut was telling me I shouldn't have trusted Brother's cooking. And trying to explain to Paine why I was digging in her room didn't work so well when I attempted to blame Brother's chili. Suffice it to say that I nearly went from the "World of Paine" to a world of pain. And that's why I think that Paine is harboring some deep, dark secret.

…Someone should write a book about her!

By this point I'm not even listening to Yuna's message anymore. I don't even think Yuna is. She's too busy trying to get over the mortification. Ha! She's never known what mortification is. It's so much deeper than just embarrassment. It's this deep embarrassment that threatens to take over your life if you let it. I'll tell you what – I'm never going to be mortified. Ever.

And besides, if I was mortified no one would care. I'm just the guardian. Never mind that I'm co-founder of the Gullwings. And you can just forget the fact that I helped save Spira at the age of fifteen! My story's not worth reading. Without me Yuna wouldn't even have a story! 'Cause I'm the one who saved Tidus when he first came here! If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have ever come, and who knows how her life would have turned out right now. She'd probably be married to that creepy, nasty, Seymour. But nope. No one really wants to know my story! Just Yuna's. Put her into the picture and I become secondary. Like when we went to Djose for the first time since the pilgrimage. All Gip—he was interested in was the High Summoner Lady Yuna the celebrity. And I became an afterthought. Never mind that before he met her I was the first thing he thought of in the morning. How do I know? He told me. Betcha never saw that coming.

We used to be quite the couple. But don't let him know I agree with him. Don't let him know that I enjoy being called Cid's girl. And I miss him when he's not here.

Why did I just say that! I don't miss him! Never. And his calling me Cid's Girl is annoying! …But him ignoring me for my cousin is even more annoying. I don't care that the world wants to read her biography, I just wish he wouldn't. Please don't ever let him know – I'd never hear the end of it. Especially since I ended it in the first place. I don't – won't – do regrets. Life's too short to regret anything.

I'm sitting there, imagining him reading Yuna's biography when I begin to wonder if he'll search the book for the sections where I'm mentioned. I have to at least be mentioned right? Slowly it dawns on me that it's really quiet in the room. The sphere's message has been stopped and Very Annoying Woman is paused mid word, looking like she's trying to catch a fly in her mouth. It's hilarious. And I would laugh; only I've just noticed that Paine and Yuna are staring at me. With a knowing smile. As if they know who I'm thinking about.

…and its so mortifying.