The song in this episode us "Smile Like You Mean It" by DJ Paranoid. Roles are Alastor, Husk, Loa shadows,
After breakfast, Alastor took Husk with him for some errands through town. He had to bribe his feline companion with cheap booze though. "Husker, you and I are friends. I need some advice." Husker spewed out his booze onto some passerby.
"The fuck?! I'm not your friend! And fuck your need for advice!" Hoping to redeem his lost booze, Husk took a large swallow.
"Mmm. You say that, and yet here we are." Al had patted his head.
"That's cause I gotta do what the fuck you say, you cheeky bastard!" He swatted Al's hand away. "What advice do you need?" He grumbled. He secretly hoped the aforementioned cheeky bastard didn't hear him.
"I'm glad you're offering, my fine fellow!" Alastor told Husker about his interactions with Selena. From the day that she declared herself his friend to this morning. "I don't quite understand any of my feelings or why she's mad at me. And I don't understand why I care…" Alastor's ears flattened but not completely. He was being vulnerable and in earshot no less! How mortifying!
Husker gave a grunt and thought in silence. Alastor walked with him. He waited patiently. Or as patiently as he could. He felt something akin to anxiety waiting for Husker's reply. "Well for one, she's mad cause you messed with Charlie's dream. We all know she adores the princess. You insulted someone she considers a friend. In a way that they also feel awful about. So you basically rubbed salt in a fresh wound." He grumbled.
"But she shouldn't be mad about any of that. None of it affected her!" Alastor's voice rose more than he intended.
"Christ, you're fuckin' dense. As opposed to you, she cares about others. I guess the best way to say this is that you indirectly insulted her by insulting those she loves." Why the fuck was he explaining this to this asshole? Now how was he gonna explain the rest of it to the Radio Demon? Satan knows this man barely registers emotions. How the fuck is he gonna explain something that the Radio Demon rejects on a regular basis?
"Hmm. I see. So insulting what other people care about acts as an indirect insult to them! Oh the nuances of normal people!" Alastor gave his signature chuckle. He also nearly smacked Husker's hat off when he moved his arms in a theatrical manner. "What about the rest of it?" He said quietly. Husk had never heard Alastor's voice so quiet before.
"Well there's no easy way to explain the rest of this." Husk grumbled again. He was so lost in describing something that would practically lose Alastor.
"Well try your best, my good friend. I need explanations!" Husk could tell that Alastor's patience neared its end.
"Well, after pissing her off by ruining the one year anniversary song, you felt guilty." Alastor hummed in acknowledgement.
"Why would I feel that though?" He seemed so befuddled by Husker's statement.
Damn. He knew this would be a rough ride. "Well, probably because you value her as a friend. And another emotion you probably felt was fear. I know this is gonna be hard for ya' to wrap your brain around but lemme finish." Husk saw Alastor open his mouth to argue. "Since you value her friendship, you don't want to lose it. Which is why you came asking me for advice." Alastor continued walking but with his arms gently crossed and his thumb on his chin. "You probably felt that combination this morning during your argument with her." Damn she was one hell of a woman, but he did not expect Al to care about anyone. And now thanks to her, he had to explain emotions to this dunderhead. "Now regarding your interactions with Angel Dust: you felt jealous. Since it seems you like the girl enough to be friends with her, you don't seem to be sure how to react when she's friendly to others."
"Isn't jealousy reserved for romances and not friendships?" Alastor seemed skeptical of Husker's diagnosis.
"Well, that depends on how acclimated you are to having friends. People with social anxiety and close bonds with people can experience jealousy, but unlike you, you dumb fuck, they don't act out on it. Well some do, but more mature people talk about it. Your favorite thing to do."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Alastor seemed slightly offended but knew he couldn't deny it.
"Communication is important in all relationships: friendships, romantic ones, business ones, shit like that. Talk it out instead of being a little bitch." Husker almost stopped himself, but decided he would dish out all the insults he could. Today, it seemed Al would just take them. "Now what I wanna know is why the fuck you have your shadow following her around?" He stopped Al on the sidewalk.
"I can't explain that myself." Now, Alastor started to feel odd.
"Well, you should be ashamed of yourself, you fucktard!" Al seemed shocked by the accusation and the slander. "You can't just follow people around! Especially if you think of them as a friend! That's Being Human 101! I'd be pissed too! Also, being possessive is gonna piss her off. She seems like a free spirit, and you doing that and demanding to have her sing to you first is just stupid!" Then something struck Husk. Wait. Was this dumbass crushing on her? Maybe in love with her? "Shut the fuck up." He mumbled to himself. "Al, when she's around, how does she make you feel?"
Alastor was turned around by the new direction of the conversation. "Well, hearing her hum and watching her smile makes my smile less forced, I guess." He scratched his cheek and avoided eye contact.
"What the fuck." Husker slapped his face with his hand.
"What is it, my good fellow?" Alastor seemed so confused.
"That's not something I can tell you. Unfortunately, the last feeling you feel, you'll have to figure it out on your own." He began walking forward.
"Why is that?" Alastor started walking. With his long legs and stride, he easily caught up with the winged cat demon.
"Just fucking forget it, moron."
Song Starts Here
Not too far in front of them, a demon was thrown out of a bar. "God fucking damn it… I thought this place was supposed to be where you could do what you want?!" The demon began to get up. "Last time I listen to anyone down here… I guess it's 'Hell' for a reason. Of course it's nothing but shit kickers." The demon caught Alastor's attention. "If I could stick it to those assholes, then I'd-"
Alastor approached the demon stealthily, "Then I'm sure you'd make good use of your time!"
"Huh? Who are you two?" The demon seemed so confused. He noted Alastor and the grumpy looking demon standing behind him. "Oh, you're new! Well, allow me to offer some insight…
This world is run on but a simple rule
Not a case of what you know, but who
Alastor began singing at a soft and slow pace.
"Ah, shit, here we go…" Husker seemed so done with today already. And here goes another deal making.
Looking at you, I think, perhaps
You're wanting more than table scraps
So just imagine what a man likе me
Could do for you?
"Are you… saying you can help mе?" The new demon seemed so in need of help.
"A proposal! If you'll hear me out…" Alastor knew he had this demon in his clutches. After all, what's better than making a deal?
"I… suppose?" The younger demon seemed so unsure but didn't want to be rude to this older gentleman.
"Splendid! I see big things coming your way. Yes, indeedy! Now, onto business! Everything's better with a song, don't you agree?" Alastor's microphone began playing music. The music grew more upbeat as Alastor got into rhythm.
This way good man
We've a deal to make!
I assure this is a good thing for
Both our sakes
I'm happy to provide
But remember your side
Of a bargain I know
You can't refuse to take
All I ask is when I
Boost your station
Remember who gave you this
Grand ovation!
If I call on you
For a favor or two
Don't forget it's now
Your obligation!
SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
TAKE A CHANCE AND YOU COULD SEIZE IT!
I'm sure you'll do just swell
You're only down in HELL
So come along with me and guarantee it!
SMILE YOUR WAY THROUGH IT!
GRIT YOUR TEETH AND GET RIGHT TO IT!
Forget the rigmarole
And you can HAVE IT ALL
And make it that much better
When I see you fall…
"What the hell?! You're fucking crazy!" The demon stepped away from the towering Radio Demon.
"Oh.. Still unconvinced? Well, why not take the word of a friend of mine! Husker?" Alastor knew Husker hated this, but who better than a partner in crime to barter a deal?
They say you reap what you sow
And in this town, you should damn well know
That what the Radio Demon wants
He's gonna take
HE'S GONNA TAKE
I've seen him kill Hell's greatest evils
Shake the status quo in upheaval
So if you think you're gettin' outta this?
Big mistake…
Oh Satan! He just wanted to be done with today!
"Now, now, sourpuss…" Alastor seemed to enjoy teasing. Perhaps this was payback for all the insults earlier.
Stop fuckin' around!
This is takin' forever
You always think you're real
Slick and clever…
Yet I know what you like
And what makes you
Tick
TICK
Tick
TICK
TICK TOCK
Doin' what you want's just the cost I pay
Enough o' this shit
We ain't got all day!
Just sign the thing so I can go
Get another fuckin' drink…
"In other words…" Al seemed so happy. He was thinking of all the ways he could benefit from this deal.
SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
RISK IT ALL AND WE CAN SEIZE IT!
Until we hear that bell
We're both stuck in HELL
So roll the dice and see if you can be it!
SMILE YOUR WAY THROUGH IT!
EMBRACE THE DARK AS THOUGH YOU KNEW IT!
You can stand up tall
And act WITHIN MY THRALL
And I'll be there to watch you
As you take the fall…
The music began to slow again as the demon fell on his rear.
So what, my friend
Whatever will it be?
I can give you what you crave
Just not for free
You know what's on the line
And this whole thing's on borrowed time
But you can trust the man who's wearing
His one guarantee…
The music began to pick up the pace again.
SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
TAKE A CHANCE AND YOU COULD SEIZE IT!
I'm sure you'll do just swell
You're only down in HELL
So come along with me and guarantee it!
SMILE YOUR WAY THROUGH IT!
GRIT YOUR TEETH AND GET RIGHT TO IT!
Forget the rigmarole
And you can HAVE IT ALL
And make it that much better
When I see you
SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
RISK IT ALL AND WE CAN SEIZE IT!
Until we hear that bell
We're both stuck in HELL
So roll the dice and see if you can be it!
SMILE YOUR WAY THROUGH IT!
EMBRACE THE DARK AS THOUGH YOU KNEW IT!
You can stand up tall
And act WITHIN MY THRALL
And I'll be there to watch you
Yes, I'll watch you
I will make you
BREAK you
As you fall…
He was so excited! Yes! This deal would be great! He could break this boy. "So… It's a deal then?" Alastor offered his hand and a green light encompassed him. The demon, despite his reservations, accepted.
Song Ends Here
"Yes, indeedy, my good lad! Well, the best place for you to go to the Haz-" Husker elbowed Alastor. "The Happy Hotel. I have work for you, and if you play your cards right… a chance to climb up the totem pole of Hell's arrivals!"
"And just where, might that be?" The demon seemed so hesitant.
"Just follow us! We've finished today's errands!" As they turned to head towards the hotel, they stopped.
A gorgeous red fox stood in front of them. Its eyes seemed so familiar, and yet, Alastor could not place them.