Disclaimer: Boy, what complete lack of ownership and broke-ness should I confess to this time?
8D Complete dislcaimer is available in the first chapter...I think it is...no, I hope it is...
Review Responses: YOU ALL ROCK! ...okay, now that that's out of my system, I would like to thank all of you for reviewing and reading this story. Frankly, this is one of my favorite stories to write. So you all ROCK!
...I thought that was out of my system...
Kurana108: 8D Thanks, I like to write stories that challenge the reader to pay attention and figure the clues and hints out on their own. It's...fun in my book. Anyways, did your re-read help? I hope it did, because Tekara is not the killer. I like more twist than that.
Unfortunately, the twist is something WAY out of the box and you REALLY have to go wild to guess it...and yet, it makes perfect sense in the end and half of you will be kicking yourselves in the butt when you hear what the real story is!
Weeeeeee, I love masochism! ...uh...did I really just write that?
KittyLuv: Ahh, I don't want you to starve? Want a cyber popsicle? Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you like the story.
Evene: Aw, you dummy! You shouldn't read at one in the morning! You might miss stuff and you're too tired to guess...I'm such a hypocrite. Sorry, I really am. But I'm so glad that you read and enjoyed the chapter. Please forgive any past and future grammatical mistakes, I proof my own work and miss some quite often. Please except my apologies for such.
Thanks for reviewing and reading!
KyoHana: Oh, I'm glad you like the last line also! I just...don't know why I like it...Anyways, I'm so glad you like the story. When I have to get out a dictionary to understand your review, I know you liked it...I think...right? Just joking, you write very formal, happily-received reviews that I thank you profoundly for. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
And don't be so sure everything will be resolved. I don't often deal in Happy Endings. –Evil smile-
Berbec: Ahh, but guessing is just so much fun! Nah, I hope the ending surprises you. Enjoy! (Although...the ending is a ways off)
Notes: I must ask pardon for any following mistakes or misunderstandings made about the abilities of one who is mute. I mean no offense and am only trying to write fanfiction. If anyone is or knows one who is mute and can offer any help on such a mistake, please contact me through a review or at
Kitsune Lover 12 Yahoo . com (ignore all spaces; FanFiction . net won't allow it any other way)
Unfortunately I do not know anyone who is mute. I do have two deaf friends and so I can learn sign language from them (however I figured it was less confusing if I do not specify on any movements: even just describing the alphabet would be annoying and perplexing... However, I do perform a mean recitation of "Rubber Ducky" in sign language ... 8D )
Secondly, the name of the OC is supposed to be Tekara. I had a serious Spelling-And-Memory-Issue problem in the first chapter (not afraid to admit it) as I traded around four or five different names for the damn character (and yes, she should be dammed, stupid character caused me a lot of problems!) Please forgive the spelling error. I will attempt to fix it when I can.
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Embrace the Winter SnowChapter 5
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"And 'den...And 'den I don' gon' tol' him to back off, yer know? I tol' 'im, "Ya'l jus'...jus'...leave!'" Kigane tipped into Kurama, who was trying earnestly not to show his silent laughter as the man stumbled, tipped, and swayed on his supported walk to the taxi.
Kurama smiled slightly as Kigane hiccupped and tried again to retell his mighty speech to whatever foe he was ranting on about now. The fox shouldered the heavily built man as he shifted Kigane so that he could open the cab door.
"Hey, K'rama," the taxi cap driver said with a knowing smile and Kurama helped his thoroughly drunk friend climb/fall into the cab. The fox flashed a smile as he gave a light, teasing roll of his eyes.
Kigane was still trying to recap the adventurous tale.
Kurama made a motion with his hands and Yusuke, who was standing off to the side, watched as the fox extended his never-ending kindness through the gestures. 'Can you get him home safely, Ryo? His wife will probably be awake.'
The cab driver smirked and nodded, helping Kigane sit up straight and get a buckle on him. As Kurama gave his thanks, he stood up and shut the door to the car. He watched with smiling eyes as the cab pulled away from the pub and turned onto the near empty streets.
"Hey," Yusuke said, coming up behind him. "You're a good guy, Kurama."
The fox turned to him with a surprised, raised eyebrow. He gave a smirk before nodding thankfully. The two detectives turned, their conversation at an end for the moment as the married couple made their way out of the bar, laughing with Asato Kido, who turned and locked the door behind him.
Spotting Kurama, the two made their way over to him, treading through the lightly falling snow. "K'rama!" the man practically shouted as he slapped the fox on the back. "I was wrong about you...and this whole place for that matter!"
The wife rolled her eyes at her husband, who was much more sober than Kigane, but still treading the edge of being trunk. She smiled and bowed to the fox. "We truly enjoyed your company, Kurama-san. Thanks to you and your friends, we've had some of the best laughs in five years. Can I trust that we'll see you here tomorrow?"
At this, however, Kurama's smile dropped slightly. With an almost sad and longing look, he glanced over at Yusuke, who took up the job of answering. "Unfortunately, Kurama is taking a week of vacation," the man answered as he glanced back at the youko. With a small smile, he turned back to the couple, "But he'll definitely be back by next week, and I'm sure we'll see you then."
The couple, though seemingly disappointed, smiled and bowed most profoundly to the two before making their way down the street, still laughing and recalling half the jokes told at the bar that night.
Yusuke turned to Kurama, who was watching them go with a sorrowful expression on his face. The ex-tentai sighed and looked down at the ground before Asato came up beside them. The raven-haired man looked up as Kido handed Kurama a white envelope.
"Urameshi says you won't be here for the remainder of the week," Asato began as Kurama accepted his paycheck with an almost heavy hand. He only nodded and Kido smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, I know when something's wrong, Kurama. You take as much time as you need for it."
Yusuke gave Kido an approving nod as Kurama presented his boss and friend with a thankful smile, though his eyes still seemed rather sad. Asato wished them a good night and happy travel, and the two began to make their way back to the fox's apartment, where Yusuke had left his car much earlier.
Kurama stopped not even two steps later and looked suddenly to the roof of a neighboring building. Yusuke frowned and traced Kurama's gaze but saw nothing, only the dim shadows of the air conditioning units and other bulky machinery on the roof.
He gave Kurama a questioning glace but the redhead only answered with a quick, sharp movement of his hand. Yusuke frowned.
"No...I don't sense anyone, Kurama," the man lied; although he sounded very convincing for one who could never lie well in his teen years. Kurama gave him a short, suspicious look before he turned and continued on his way. Yusuke almost growled as he caught up with the fox, who seemed content on ignoring him.
"Kurama, I'm here to help you; to protect you. I won't let whoever is after you hurt you, I already promised you that."
The fox paused slightly, before he looked at Yusuke with his eyes back to their sorrowful green selves. He turned without giving a reply.
'It's not really me that I am worried about, Yusuke...Indeed, I gave up that luxury long ago.'
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Yusuke sighed, aggravated more with himself than the fox that sat beside him in the car. He knew that, for some reason, Kurama could never hold back his sorrow when it snowed. And when the sun went down, when darkness settled across the city, Yusuke knew that it was always the worst then.
Kurama was mildly staring out the window, absently humming a very quiet tune that Yusuke did not recognize. He had feared that the fox would never recover, not when they had found him lying in a puddle of his own blood, clinging to life by a single, breaking thread.
Surprisingly, the fox reacted differently than Yusuke had first predicted. The first few days were nothing but silence. Well, obviously there had to be since the bastard had all but torn out Kurama's larynx. But Kurama didn't move, he didn't eat, he did nothing more than stare out the window at the slowly falling snow.
It had been one of the greatest snow counts the city of Tokyo had ever seen. Snow had coated the ground even in the most downtown areas of Tokyo, filtering through the city and leaving the mountains and Genkai's temple snowed in.
And Kurama had been sharing the rare occasion with Yukina, who was ecstatic at the falling crystals. No doubt that she had been celebrating with her people's traditional dances and rituals. Kurama, of course, had originally been at the temple to meet Hiei, who was to return from his three-month long endeavor in the Makai the next morning.
But something had obviously gone wrong.
Yusuke bit his lip to stop from crying tears that had been longing to get out for years. With a quick, determined thought, he set the salty water back from his eyes, blinking to avoid the tears.
Where had it all gone so fucking wrong?
The teen jumped slightly as Kurama lightly touched his shoulder. Yusuke turned, his eyes watery and stingy from the result of an endless battle to hold the salty water back. Kurama was frowning slightly, seemingly confused.
Yusuke pulled over to the side of the freeway as Kurama made yet another set of movements with his hands. The teen let out a laugh as his mind immediately picked up the motions and replaced them with their meanings.
"Yeah...I know, I know: holdin' back tears is your job, Kurama," the teen said, his smile genuine if not a tad sad. "Sorry. Just lost in memories."
Kurama raised and eyebrow and Yusuke laughed, pulling back onto the road and quickly gaining speed to match the practically nonexistent traffic.
It was one thirty in the morning, after all.
The car pulled off the highway and onto a long, winding dirt road after several more miles. The road stretched far into the mountains and Yusuke turned his headlights on, as no streetlights were available to light the way.
It was another half hour down the winding, bumpy road before Yusuke finally pulled over. They were in a valley created by two high ridges rising on either side of them in slow, steeping hills. Yusuke knew from experience that over the hill to their right was the highway and bus stop that he had often taken in his younger years.
"Come on, Fox-boy," Yusuke called as he shut the trunk, two heavy gym bags slung over his shoulder. "We have a freakin' long set of stairs to climb."
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Kurama was anything but tired as Yusuke ordered his immediate retirement to his futon. The fox sighed, giving a rather rude but playful reply that deemed Yusuke as his motherly figure. The detective had only laughed as the fox left the kitchen.
As the fox climbed quietly under the covers of his bed, the soft rustle of sheets and comforters the only sound in the room, he glanced outside at the falling snow. The window sat a perfect location in the wall for Kurama to watch through it from his laid position. It let through nothing of the outside cold or the snow, despite the fact that the window was thrown open, the Japanese paper covering slid aside.
Kurama frowned slightly but shrugged it off, figuring it was the new wards. Koenma had muttered something about a kekkai laid about the inner workings of the wood in the temple, but he hadn't truly been listening.
But now he wished that he could close that window some. He did no want to see the winter's new snow.
But he forced himself to stare at it.
His own voice lost to everything else, his own vow rang in his head as he continuously looked upon the falling crystals.
Never again.
The fox's thoughts were interrupted, however, as Yusuke slipped into the room, a teacup in his hands. He handed the oriental style cup to the redhead lying on the futon, who he sat up to drink the tea.
Yusuke glanced quickly at the window, the movement missed by the fox, who was gently sipping at the steaming liquid. Kurama looked up with a sudden, lazy smile.
The latter did not return the gesture. "Genkai laced your tea with a sleeping potion. We both know that you're not sleeping during the week, Fox."
Kurama nodded, his eyes slightly drooping. In truth, somewhere deep within his rapidly clouding mind, he was a tad bit angry at the secrecy, but had been expecting as much. Had he not longed for sleep, the painless darkness to take him and give his mind some overdue rest, he would have fought harder to make the point clear that he did not need to be slipped a sleeping pill and would have taken it willingly.
Besides, he knew that the others wouldn't have the energy needed to put him to sleep like their weekend healings did.
The fox took another sip with a look that was borderline eager. Yusuke wasn't sure if he was happy the kitsune wasn't mad, or worried that he was so anxious to sleep. With a shrug he supposed the first was a better thing to feel.
He had never had insomnia before, but he was sure that it might drive anyone to take pills for such.
Kurama gave a lazy, happy smile as he finished the drink and handed it back to Yusuke with an almost child-like innocence. He lay down and pulled the covers up to his chin, snuggling back as a young kit might against his mother's soft fur.
Yusuke sat down on the edge of the bed, watching Kurama carefully. He realized that he should have talked to Kurama before lacing his tea with something that would knock him out. He'd kick himself for the idiotic mistake later. "Alright, I need you to listen for just a minute, Fox-boy, and then you can sleep all you want." The fox looked up at him with tired but clear, green eyes.
"First, the wards in the room permit only four people to enter or exit: Tekara, Genkai, you, and myself. No other can enter without a serious struggle that each and every one of us will feel. So you're safe." The detective watched as Kurama nodded his understanding, eyelids drooping.
"Second, Hiei is in the woods, Kurama," Yusuke said, but the kitsune only nodded, too tired to really care. He looked up through half lidded eyes and gave a weak set of gestures. Yusuke gave a gentle smile.
"Yes, I'll wait with you until you fall asleep, Kurama. Genkai will be awake for the rest of the night if you need something, and I'll be next door if you need me," he whispered as Kurama gave a thankful, relieved sigh, his head tilting against the pillow.
Yusuke bent down and kissed the fox's forehead. "Go to sleep, Kurama."
The youko only gave a half-awake nod as he drifted quietly but smoothly off into the land of dreams. Yusuke watched for several moments as Kurama's breathing became regular and slow, like the steady beat of a drum.
With a sigh, his eyes became serious, all emotion steeled as he back away from the kitsune, climbing off the bed. He looked over to the window.
"You can stop hiding, Hiei," he spoke clearly, but not loud enough to wake the sleeping fox, who had curled on his side and tucked in on himself. "Meet me at the temple stairs. We need to talk."
Hiei sat in the soft, planted dirt beneath the window, staring out into the woods as Yusuke spoke. With an uncertain glance, he strengthened his resolve and determination to find out what was going on. He jumped to the side and emitted a quick burst of speed, arriving at the last stone step that led to Genkai's temple seconds later.
Yusuke took a much longer time, his footsteps slow as he made his way out of Genkai's temple (warning the priestess where he was going) and across the frozen courtyard. As he arrived beside the fire demon, he gave him neither recognition nor time to speak as he simply started down the steps.
Hiei growled slightly but followed.
"Where are we going, detective?" he asked after they had descended the several hundred stairs and had started in the direction of Yusuke's car.
"Far away from Kurama," Yusuke answered vaguely as he opened the driver's door and slid into the small machine. Hiei paused for a moment, weighing his dislike for ningen automobiles against his desire to gain information.
The information finally won out and he opened the door to climb into the passenger's side.
The drive was long, lasting for more than forty-five minutes and Hiei realized that Yusuke was taking him farther than he thought needed. The fire demon rolled his eyes.
"I'm not here to hurt him, Detective. Unless you'd like to drive all the way to the Makai, I don't think any of this is necessary," he reprimanded rather harshly and Yusuke slammed down on the car's brakes, sending the machine flying in a ninety-degree turn into a rest stop. It stood ominously before the dark trees that lined either side of the highway they were now on.
As the car came to rest rather unsettlingly in a parking place, the teen opened the door, climbed out of the car, and all but slammed it closed again. Hiei watched with curious, calculating eyes as he followed the motions step for step, ignoring the last one and gently closing his own door.
He followed the detective as Yusuke passed the small building that housed a restroom and convenience store. It didn't seem to be open anyhow.
Yusuke trekked into the woods, stepping over log and leaf as he made his way farther and farther into the dark woods, using his energy-lit finger to guide his way. Hiei followed quietly, not sure whether to be angry or amused at such an attempt to keep him away from Kurama.
Finally, Yusuke stopped and settled for a small, cramped clearing created by a fallen tree that had set a few feet of forest clear in the direction that it had fallen. Yusuke seemed to have calm slightly on his rampage through the woods and now heaved himself up onto the massive tree.
"Sit," he commanded to the fire demon, who seemed less happy at hiking through the woods at three o'clock in the morning only to be ordered by some half demon bastard.
But, begrudgingly, he leapt up and sat down next to Yusuke.
"So what do you want to know?" Yusuke immediately asked and Hiei glared at him with a calculating eye.
"What makes you think I want to know anything?" he asked in a cold, rude tone. Yusuke shrugged but the fire demon wasn't finished yet. "You called me out here, remember? Something about 'needing to talk'?"
Yusuke regarded the fire demon with cool, tranquil eyes. "Why are you here, Hiei?"
"Because you dragge-" Hiei stopped his answer halfway through as Yusuke's eyes narrowed. The fire demon smirked. "You should know, Mukuro sent the letter to you."
"Yeah, she said you needed an attitude adjustment," Yusuke summed up with a simmering anger. "From what I can see, she wasn't wrong."
Hiei didn't respond to that so Yusuke continued. "What the hell were you doing following us today, huh?" The fire demon's eyes narrowed and Yusuke gave a dry, humorless chuckle. "Yeah, I know that you were on the roof of the bar, Hiei. My question is; why?"
The youkai didn't answer for a second before he looked to the ground, not avoiding Yusuke's gaze, but choosing more interest in the leaf-carpeted floor. "Why doesn't he talk?"
Yusuke was taken back by the abrupt question, but his surprise only lasted for a minute. His eyes steeled slightly, but he wasn't as good at it as the fire demon or the fox. Some anger still showed through. "You know why; you were listening. 'He can't; he's mute.'"
The fire demon didn't seem to accept this answer as his fist clenched at his side. "How?" he asked angrily. "Kurama spoke perfectly fine his entire life; what happened to change that?"
Yusuke's eyes grew narrow with anger. He jumped off the log to stand, hands crossed over his chest, in front of Hiei. His yelling voice carried through the woods. "What happened? A demon slit his throat, that's what happened!"
Hiei's eyes widened slightly, but showed no other emotion before he asked in a perfectly steeled voice, "When?"
Yusuke's eyes turned almost feral with his barely concealed rage, and they shimmered red with his demonic powers. He uncrossed his arms to wave them angrily. "When? When do you think, Hiei? I mean, are you so oblivious to everyone but yourself that you just failed to notice the bandages around his neck that morning? Did you just fail to notice the blood that spilt when you shoved him? Did you just fail to notice that he never spoke a single word in his defense?"
The woods echoed in an eerie silence as Yusuke's voice died down from its shouted level. A bird took flight several feet away as the sudden lack of peace and quiet frightened it. Hiei remained stoic, staring at the detective with emotionless eyes. His hands, however, were no longer clenched in fists.
"You are saying that he was mute before I left?" Hiei asked tersely, his whole frame tense. Yusuke dropped his arms to his side, slouching his shoulders as he gave an exasperated sigh.
"Yeah, Hiei."
The fire demon didn't seem to have a reply to his answer as his red eyes glanced away. After a second, he returned to staring coolly at the raven-haired man. "But, that would mean-"
"Yeah, Hiei," Yusuke repeated, interrupting the demon as his voice grew soft, almost down to a whispered level. His eyes slowly returned to their normal chocolate brown and he jumped back up onto the log. "The demon that killed your sister was the one to take Kurama's voice from us."
Hiei didn't seem able to answer this revelation as millions of similar and different questions raced through his mind. Kurama had been hurt during that attack? Could Kurama have gotten the wounds protecting Yukina? Would the fox have defended himself against Hiei's accusations had he been able to speak? ... And had anything else occurred that Hiei was unaware of?
As Yusuke just sat quietly, waiting patiently for Hiei's reply, the fire demon finally turned to him. "What else?" he asked. Yusuke looked over at him with a bit of surprise at the suddenly random question. He gave a frown.
"What...else?" Yusuke repeated slowly, unsure of what Hiei was asking for.
"What else did the demon do?" Hiei asked in an impatient, slightly angered tone. Yusuke blinked for a second before he slowly answered, choosing his words carefully.
"Two sword wounds; one to the abdomen and another to the chest cavity," he replied as he attempted to keep his voice steady. Images of memories he had long since tried to bury began to cross his mind again.
Blood pooling on the floor, leaking into the wooden slats to leave a permanent bloodstain that they would never be rid of.
The fox's widened eyes, dulled past the extent of life as he stared at his own hand, the slim and delicate fingers coated with his own blood.
Yukina's lifeless body, slumped over in a shimmering pool of her –
Yusuke shook his head to clear his mind away from those horrible images, something that he had never quite been able to do. He turned his head as Hiei began speaking once again, his own words spoken slowly, cautious of the answer he would receive.
"And... the damage?" he asked. Yusuke thought, for a second, that Hiei was going to say more but when nothing came, he turned to stare into the woods. It was hard recalling everything that had happened damage-wise without actually remembering that day.
"Extensive," he began as he attempted to recap the wounds without bringing forth more memories. "The abdomen wound cut the entirety of his body. You can still see the puncture wound the floor received. Such an attack ruptured organs, caused extensive internal bleeding, and missed his spinal cord by a half inch."
He could hear Hiei hiss at the last bit of information. They had been lucky on that account. Had Kurama's spinal cord been hit, sliced, or destroyed, the fox would have been a lot more than mute.
He would have been paraplegic.
"The sword wound to his chest cavity once again impaled his entire body, breaking three ribs and skimming his right lung. The scar left in the floor from that one completely broke the wood beneath the tamate mats." Yusuke swallowed the rising bile in his throat as the memories he had tried to keep back overwhelmed his barrier and sought to torture his mind. Slowly, he trained his voice to sound robotic and continued, "There was minimal leakage of blood into the lungs upon impact, or so we believe, but internal bleeding increased dramatically when the weapon was withdrawn and his right lung failed immediately."
Hiei accepted this information with a nod although he felt strangely left out, as if Yusuke had more to say but was withholding it. He shook it off, as his earlier anger and determination seemed to vanish, leaving behind a burning curiosity and something that almost resembled a distant form or worry. Yusuke wondered if, for even just a second, Hiei understood why they were all still so mad at him for what he did to Kurama.
The fire demon was lost in his own thoughts, though. New ideas, ideas of guilt for what he did, for not noticing, for being so overwhelmed by Yukina's death to care, were filing into his head. They left more questions then they answered and were soon replaced by more and more.
Finally, the fire demon spoke again, shoving everything aside when a particular thought occurred to him. Kurama had had a bandage under his clothing earlier; a bandage that wrapped around his neck.
"Yusuke..." Hiei began and the detective turned to him. His crimson eyes weren't focused on Yusuke, but rather the forest. "Why were their bandages on his neck?"
Yusuke answered without hesitation, but his voice portrayed how he had been hoping Hiei wouldn't ask that. "It is a result of an irremovable ward that was placed on him by the demon. It cuts off all excess energy but what is needed to survive or, in other words, the energy needed to sustain his life force. The lack of accessible energy has left his wounds permanently unhealed."
The shock that hit Hiei at that statement, despite the fact that it should have occurred to him, left him forgetting that he was furious with the fox; that he no longer cared. He immediately retorted in a surprised tone, "It's been five years!"
Yusuke, a bit taken back by the sudden change in the fire demon's expression, voice, and eyes, gave a nod. "Yes, and for five years Kurama has returned to the temple every weekend for Genkai, Tekara, and Botan to stretch their healing abilities enough to allow him to return to normal life. The healing leaves him with nothing but scars and he returns to his college classes and bartending job.
"By Friday, however, his wounds have slowly deteriorated back into wounds so fresh they could pass off as being cut the day before. His body will weaken throughout the week from not only a lack of energy, but also from his lack of sleep, due to his insomnia. Furthermore, his appetite will deteriorate beside his wounds and by the end of the week he won't be able to keep anything more than water down.
"Then he'll return to the temple to start the whole cycle over again," Yusuke finished summing up Kurama's own wretched existence in a bitter voice.
"My god," Hiei whispered to the air, not truly meaning for Yusuke to hear it. But the man did, and it only angered him.
"Oh, God has nothing to do with it, Hiei. Kurama has been living in his own personal hell for the last five years," he replied angrily, and the fire demon looked up at him with crimson eyes that, for the first time in five years, seemed uncertain, worried.
Yusuke finally got his anger back in check as he forced himself to look somewhere else. Hiei returned his gaze to the forest, his own thoughts slowly growing more and more guilty. As they sat there in infinite silence, Hiei finally spoke once again.
"What about Kuwabara?"
"What about him?" Yusuke asked rather harshly for the fact that he had been his best friend. "He was Kurama's closest friend through the ordeal; the only one to get close to him when the rest of us failed miserably. He was the only one Kurama could talk to, the only to hear the fox's silent pleas for help... Kurama talked to us through Kuwabara and learned sign language for the rest of the world. Seeing one without the other nearby was a rarity as the years passed."
Hiei seemed caught between annoyance and amusement at this particular thought and chose to ignore both feelings and skip back to the conversation at hand. "And now that he's dead?"
Yusuke automatically flinched at the sudden reminder, not that he had forgotten after the wake earlier that morning, but he seemed very uncomfortable to discuss the matter. "Now Kurama is lost to us," he said instead. When Hiei gave a single, raised eyebrow in question, Yusuke continued, "Kuwabara was Kurama's only link to this world, his only helping hand from the hell he lives in.
"Sure, I can talk to Kurama, listen to him, but I was never the one who could hear him," Yusuke replied, speaking with more wisdom than even he realized. Hiei blinked but spared no time for thought.
"What of the Fool's killer?" he asked, wondering if he should have used Kuwabara's name in respect. After a second's thought of it, he shrugged. What better way to honor him than to treat him as Hiei had when they were all once friends, allies, and teammates?
Yusuke didn't seem to notice the use of Kuwabara's nickname and merely shrugged. "The same from five years ago, or so we assume." The detective gave a tired sigh. "And now Kurama has twice as much to fear and no one to protect him. I just...I'm not the one to get through to him. I can't protect him if I can't really talk to him."
Hiei gave a slight nod, seemingly understand the plight Yusuke was in and his inability to put it into words. The fire demon opened his mouth to say more before closing it, rethinking, thinking, scrapping the idea, and finally screwing it to hell and opened his mouth to say rather cautiously, "He...does not seem very saddened for one whose best friend just died."
The fire demon had been right to pause in speaking this as Yusuke's eyes narrowed in rising anger. Hiei seemed to be very adept at making the man angry tonight. He spoke in a tight, stoic voice, "Kurama will not cry for him. Kurama will not cry for anyone."
The reply was extremely vague and answered very little. And although it was a warning not to ask more, Hiei decided to push the detective further. "You didn't seem all that saddened, either, this evening, Detective."
That had certainly peaked Yusuke's anger. The man seemed ready to throttle the smaller demon and he clenched his hands at his sides, his dull nails biting into his flesh. "I am Kurama's last chance to stay connected to this world, Hiei," he seethed through clenched teeth. "What hope would I be for him if I were to break down and cry for his closest friend when he would not?"
"Why? Why won't he?"
Yusuke seemed suddenly taken back, realizing that he was practically shaking in anger while Hiei's voice was simply curious, if not filled with eager worry. Although the frustration and rage did not shrink any, he calmly turned to gaze at the forest floor where the line of trees made the clearing they sat in.
"Try asking yourself that before you ask me. I think you'll know the answer far better than I would, Hiei," he replied in a very thick, stoic voice. The fire demon's eyes narrowed as his brow furled, trying to make sense of the Detectives words.
'Crying...' Hiei whispered in his mind. 'Ningens, Hiei, Kurama had tried to explain it once...Ningens cry when they are hurt, physically or mentally...'
'Then why are you crying?...That's right...he was trying to teach me sentimentality. He had been crying...he had been crying for a long time...'
'I cry for my mother, Hiei...That ningen woman...Kurama had cried when she had died...so why not when the fool had?'Her death has hurt me greatly in a mental aspect, as Yukina's death would hurt you.'
Hiei froze. Yukina's death had not caused him tears; it had caused him anger. And he had used that anger on the fox, desperate to be rid of it, to blame someone. So Yukina's death might have hurt Hiei mentally, but it was Kurama who had been hurt physically.
'But that does not truly explain why he does not cry...' he reasoned. After a second, however, he changed his mind. 'No... it does.'
'I have never seen you cry before, Fox ...and I hadn't. He had never once cried for his physical pain, or any that I had ever seen. But he had laughed at my response, wiping the tears off of his cheeks.''
'You will not often see me cry for anything more than the death of a great friend, Hiei. Physical pain does not cause me tears as it does others, my little fire demon. ButYukina had died that night and Kurama couldn't, for whatever reason, save her...So then, perhaps he had already been feeling guilty...Perhaps he had already been crying...'
"Yusuke," Hiei suddenly called to the man beside him. Yusuke had been sitting silent, allowing the quiet forest around him to calm his angry nerves as the fire demon thought over the information he received.
"What?" he asked in a dull, nonchalant voice. If Hiei was bothered by it, he showed no notice.
"Was Kurama crying when you found him? Did he cry after I...after I left?" he asked, hesitantly mentioning his abandonment of the group. Yusuke tossed the flare of anger that accompanied Hiei's statement aside and answered steadily.
"Yes. By the time we found him he was not crying, but there were hints that he had, such as the tracks left in the blood on his face where his tears had fallen..." Hiei mentally flinched at the odd, unemotional tone of Yusuke's matter-of-fact voice.
"And after you left...He cried once," the man gave a shrug, inwardly trying hard not to cry, "Just one tear. And since then he hasn't let a single other drop." The detective pushed off the tree trunk he sat on and slipped the five or so feet to the ground. "Come on, it's time to go back."
Hiei watched as the ex-tentai walked across the small clearing before the raven-haired man realized that the fire demon was not following. Yusuke turned as Hiei's thoughts raced through his head. "Are you coming?"
'Kurama cried when I left not because of physical wounds...but because of Yukina's death...and my betrayal...'
'Sounds stupid to me...Crying shows weakness, vulnerability. The loss of a person can be felt later. If there is nothing else to cry for, than I say it is a pointless action that I will never submit to.'
'That is because you are stronger than me, Dragon... Kurama had laughed; had seemed to forget his momentary plight. When I cry, it is because I find something worth my sorrow and let it out. My weakness can be dealt with later; pain of loss is something that needs immediate relief.
'Besides...There is one other thing that ningens cry for, and that is a broken heart...I had only laughed at these words. They were pointless.'
'If your heart broke, Fox, you would die. There'd be no time for trivial crying.'
'Not that kind of broken heart, Dragon. You take things too literal for this world...Literal? I guess things were different back then...literal...joking...laughter...it was all such a luxury. One wasted now.'
'A broken heart, Hiei, is when you care for someone deeply, love them more than you thought possible...what had that look been...that sorrowful, distracted look the fox had taken up? And then they turn around and hurt you, fill you with a pain that you have never witnessed before, let a lone feel. It can make you do stupid things. Make you wish with all your heart that the tears would just stop, that the pain would disappear. Kurama had suddenly snapped out of his reverie and smiled. I hope you never see me cry for that reason, Hiei. And I hope you never feel a broken heart.'
'Hn. I would not fall to such a stupid sickness. And yet...that smile the fox had given in reply had suddenly seemed so sad. Was that it? Was that why he stopped crying? Because I broke his heart? Because all he longed for were the tears to stop?'
The fire demon made up his mind with an uncertain and weak determination. He gave a curt shake of his head. "No, I'm not coming. I...think I'll stay here. I guess I have a lot to consider," he replied without truly locking eyes with the detective. Yusuke seemed almost relieved, happy that the fire demon might think things over.
"Very well then, you know how to get back," he replied as he turned and started into the trees. Before his form had completely disappeared, he stepped back, showing his face once more to the fire demon.
"Hiei, let me give you on last thing to think about," he began and the fire demon looked over to him, finally meeting his chocolate brown eyes. "Had Kuwabara or I got to the temple a minute later that night, had Genkai not forced herself awake, had Kurama not clung to life for those last seconds... You would be mourning the loss of a sister and a lover, instead of crying for one and hating the other.
"Think about it." Yusuke turned and walked back into the woods, leaving a lightly frowning fire demon alone to sit in the clearing until the sun reached high noon the next day.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Yusuke was training, balancing on the end of the beam that supported the top of the pagoda style roof that housed the temple. His index finger was shaking every so slightly as he exerted the smallest amounts of his energy to stay upright on that single finger.
He split his legs for a second in hopes that the blood might decide to flow to them for a few seconds. When the limbs remained numb, he sighed but maintained his handstand position as he bent his arm slightly, preparing to jump enough to turn his finger and therefore turn himself.
He had already done enough to make three-quarters of a turn when Hiei landed softly behind him, his silent boots landing on the roof tiles instead of the wooden roof tip that Yusuke was currently balancing on.
"Hey, Hiei," the man waved slightly with his free hand as he made another centimeter turn. "Figure out what you need to?"
The fire demon gave his customary, "hn," and sat down on the roof, waiting for the detective to finish his training. When Yusuke made another half inch turn, wobbling slightly, the fire demon shook his head and regarded the skeptically strange idea of Genkai's training.
"I'll be done in just a second," Yusuke said as if reading the demon's thoughts and he turned once more. As he lined up to look back down the line of the roof and the fire demon sitting on it, he collapsed. Standing back up at his original starting position, he let his arms hang at his sides and prepared for the head rush he'd get from all his blood being spun upside down like sand in an hourglass.
"So," he said as he turned to the fire demon, "what did you figure out?"
Hiei seemed a bit hesitant to say what he wanted to, but he gave a slight shrug, "It is still unclear whether Kurama did all he could to save my sister, and I doubt that any demon who left him alive could not be defeated had the youko tried. Therefore, I still harbor anger for the fox for not protecting my sister but...I too am at fault. I guess that I was so consumed with Yukina's death that I did not think about Kurama's life. Or...at least what might have happened to it."
Yusuke seemed to think about his answer for a few seconds, before he replied, "No, I guess you didn't."
-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Alright, this chapter is really iffy in my mind. I'm not really sure I like it yet. So be prepared for a possible deletion and re-writing of it, though it's not likely to happen.
I don't have that sort of time.
Anyways...I really don't like the scene with Kurama and the sleeping potion...but I kinda like...but I don't really...but I do...Oh, screw it.
Author's Notes:
...He had never had insomnia before, but he was sure that it might drive anyone to take pills for such... Hey, I'm not an insomniac, but I take a normal one to two hours to fall asleep every night and am a natural born Night-person. I know what it's like to not be able to fall asleep and, most of the time, I love it.
This saying above does not express my feeling for on and off insomnia, or a person who is truly an insomniac, so do not take it to the heart or offensively.
...You take things too literal for this world...Sorry, but I can so picture Hiei being very literal what with all the dumb sayings we humans have. (Like "Keep your eyeballs peeled" I mean, can you say "OW!")
...You would be mourning the loss of a sister and a lover, instead of crying for one and hating the other... Alright, now I'm no Dr. Suess, and I didn't mean for that to rhyme, but I love that concept and the line. Yusuke seems to be a lot more...mature, don't you think?
... It is still unclear whether Kurama did all he could to save my sister... Therefore, I still harbor anger for the fox... No one actually knows what happened that night (they're almost as in the dark as you guys are! 8D) So Hiei figures that Kurama wouldn't have just let the demon hurt him, so he must have defended Yukina, but if he did, then he didn't do a good enough job if he's alive and she is not. It is just the way Hiei thinks and views things in this story. So, I hope it seems...true enough.
Also, even though Yusuke seems really oblivious to Kuwabara's death, this is only because he doesn't deem it fair to cry in front of Kurama when the fox refuses to. You all saw him a few chapters ago crying for the fool of a great guy, so don't tell me he's heartless, cause he's not!
Alright, now if you're real good, and a very observant reader, you'll notice something.
When I refer to images of that nightthere is an inconsistency in the memories. See if you can find it and let me know! You'll get
1. A nice cyber popsicle (I'm still trying to figure out who stole the cookies from my cookie jar, rather than just go bye more)
2. My gratitude for not only paying attention, but letting me know how well I'm writing these little hidden things.
Thanks for reading, keep guessing because I not only enjoy how my story comes across to others, it really helps me write, and I hope the chapter wasn't too bad...I'm still not so sure.
--eyes chapter suspiciously-