Story: What Hurts the Most Is Being Far Away for Far Too Long
Disclaimer: I own nothing, only the scotch tape holding posters to my wall. No claim to Foreigner lyrics, Carrie Underwood lyrics or Bones here, sadly…
Spoilers: None that I can think of…
Pairing: Booth x Brennan
Chapters: I have changed this to a three-part thing so I can get chapters up sooner for the lovely reviewers! Part three in the makings, I have two free periods now, but finals are in a week.
Summary: They were so close, but everything he couldn't say fell to pieces when she walked away.
Chapter 2: It Starts With Goodbye
Note: Please review this story it makes me happy plus it'll inspire me to write the next part of it sooner! But for now it's a WIP.
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"What seemed to be an infatuation
Is so different now.
I can't get by if we're not together.
I'm longing for the time,
I'm longing for the day
Hoping that you will promise to be mine
And never go away.
I don't want to live without you,
I could never live without you,
Live without your love.
I ask myself but there's no explanation
For the way I feel.
I know I've reached the right destination
And I know it's real."
-Foreigner
The blank ceiling staring back at him provided no distraction from the whirling thoughts that threatened to overcome him; thoughts that tumbled and flew through his brain at breakneck speeds, likened to a dryer on high out of control. Booth finally rolled over and settled his distressed gaze on the clock on his bedside table. If sleep wouldn't come seven hours earlier, why would it start now? He rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom.
Soon he was in his car, headed to work. Well, he should have been. Two red lights and a stop sign later, Booth found himself speeding down Brennan's street, his heart racing and hoping he wasn't too late. He needed to apologize; he needed to keep her here in D.C.
He felt his stomach flip when he saw her. Brennan was locking her door behind her for the last time and had her laptop and bag with her. A taxi waited in her driveway, and as he saw her face as she turned to walk down her steps, he saw the face of an immensely sad woman. As she put her hand to the handle of the taxi, she glanced back at her house and hung her head. The door opened and she placed her bags in. Booth's heart stopped as well as his car, and he leapt from the vehicle without bothering to turn it off. He sprinted across the street and cut across her neighbor's lawns in a desperate attempt to catch the taxi. The sound of a slamming car door broke the early morning silence of the quiet street and the taxi backed out into the street, heading away from Booth. He pounded out the last few meters to her yard and then continued across the next.
"Bones!" He called out as loud as he could through his gasping breath. He doubted she heard him, but for some reason she chose just then to look back. Maybe she did hear him, or maybe she just wanted to see her house once more before flying across the country. For whatever reason, she turned, and she noticed him. Her eyes flew open and her mouth formed his name. She spun back around and the taxi screeched to a stop. Next thing he knew, she was out of the car and carefully walking towards him, doubting his appearance.
"Booth?" They took another step towards each other, both unsure of what to do. Booth's chest rose and fell as he regained his breath.
"You're, leaving so soon?" He gasped, motioning towards the waiting taxi.
"Yes." She looked puzzled, then annoyed. "Weren't you listening to me last night?" Booth scratched the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly at her from beneath his lashes. Must've missed that part last night…
"Sorry." He apologized. He sighed and Brennan gave him a sad half-smile.
"Now you know." She replied. The taxi driver honked at her.
"The meter's running, lady!" He shouted from the car. Brennan glanced back at him before turning her attention back to the desperate agent in front of her.
"Well, bye Booth." She said softly, turning to leave. Booth's mind flashed back to the night before and he once again reached out and clasped her hand.
"Wait, Bones…" He started. And just like the night before, she spun around to meet him head-on.
Her heart pounded fiercely against her ribs. Last night, the disappointment of Booth's words, or lack of, after stopping her for the first time had torn her apart. She could only hope this would be different, though half of her doubted it would be.
"Yes?" Even the pessimistic half of her could do nothing to stop the hope that crept into her voice. Booth opened and closed his mouth, no sounds emitting from the speechless man who had so much to say.
"How long will you be gone?" He asked, settling on neutral ground for the moment.
"A few months." Brennan replied, torn between letting disappointment tear her apart once again and holding onto her heart for a little longer.
"Oh, alright." Booth lost his courage as the taxi driver honked again, sorely tempting him to shatter the windows and infuriating horn with the loaded gun at his hip. He tried to start again, but the horn had broken his resolve.
"Well, see ya around, Bones." He stuck his hands in his pockets, fighting himself every inch of the way. His heart threatened to leap from his chest, tried to grab for Tempe, but as much as he hated to admit it, Seeley Booth was a coward. Why couldn't he just spit it out? Booth continued to beat himself up as the auburn-haired woman in front of him tensed.
"Bye." Brennan replied coldly, once again hiding behind the ice that had been her second skin. But even the ice couldn't freeze the tears that tried to break through. She kept her eyes dry and emotions locked. Turning and walking away from him, it was even harder the second time around.
The taxi driver gunned the car down the street, and as Tempe stared out the back window, she allowed a solitary tear to roll down her otherwise composed face. It was the first she had shed in many years.
Head down and hands shoved deep in the restricting pockets, Booth kicked a clump of dirt and slowly walked back to his still-running car five houses down. Slamming his palm on the steering wheel, he pulled away from the curb and drove the opposite direction his heartbroken forensic anthropologist had gone.
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The cool air of the Jeffersonian blasted Booth in the face as he entered the institute. It was a welcome alternative to the humid, heavy air outside; signs of the coming storm. He turned to the now-familiar building more out of habit than anything else, wanting to see the familiar faces of his favorite squint squad before he had to leave until Brennan returned.
If she returns… His mind darkly countered. Booth shook the thought off and continued down the hallway.
The air in the lab was just as heavy as it was outside, though much cooler. Faces were drawn and somber, and it was overall a very depressing place to be at the moment. That suited Booth just fine; it would match his equally dark mood as opposed to the occasionally cheerful joking he would encounter in his own building. He spotted Angela across the room and gave her a little wave, swiping his card and walking up the steps to where she was working. Immediately the forensic artist had flown to him and began pushing him back down the stairs.
"What are you doing here?" She almost shouted, poking his chest with a pencil-smudged finger. Booth's eyebrows shot up into his hairline at the sudden outburst from the normally calm artist.
"You should be out there getting our Brennan back!" Angela continued. The noise had drawn several looks their way and Hodgins and Zach were now approaching the two.
"We couldn't get her to stay." Zach mentioned in between Angela's berating comments.
"Angela was convinced you could." Hodgins muttered. Angela whipped around to turn her anger towards the unsuspecting entomologist.
"You! Like you even tried! All you did was talk about conspiracy theories and pulling people who helped with federal cases away so that the government wouldn't have so much trouble covering up murders!" Angela hotly reminded him.
"Well you were too convinced Booth could do anything to try too hard, either." Zach added under his breath, not wanting to call the attention of the angry artist upon himself. Angela whirled to face her best friend's assistant.
"Could? He still can!" A look at the clock sent her back to Booth. "Her flight doesn't leave for another thirty minutes. Go get our anthropologist back." She gave him one last shove and he stumbled back into the main hallway, Angela hot on his heels leaving two shaking men back at the foot of the lab stairs. She pressed her face up to his and jabbed his chest again with her finger.
"You go get Tempe back, and for God's sake tell her the damn truth." She lowered her voice dangerously and sent him staggering once more backwards. Both nodded and turned to run down the hall with a new resolve rapidly spreading a fire through his veins. He had thirty minutes.
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Using his siren and flashing the handy FBI badge at anyone in his way, he managed to arrive at the airport in twenty minutes, though a highly unethical twenty minutes. Another five had him arguing with the poor ticket girl, ending with Booth finally buying a plane ticket to Nevada and running to the terminal. An eternity later, he was running as fast as he ever had towards gate 23.
The ominous clouds outside only made Tempe shift even more in the already uncomfortable chair. If her plane was delayed for even a minute, she would have even more time to rethink everything and probably would send herself running into a certain FBI agent's office unannounced. But she had to go; she couldn't rely on anyone for happiness. Booth had changed her, and it wasn't like her to switch her life around for one man who might or might not feel the same for her like she did him. Booth couldn't keep triggering all the confusing emotions he did, and if he didn't fight for her to stay, his feelings obviously didn't measure up to the magnitude hers did. So she'd have to distance herself from the world once more, surrounding herself with work like old times and become the old Brennan once again.
The overly-perky voice across the intercom announced that flight 398570 to Sacramento would be boarding momentarily. Brennan picked her laptop up from near her feet and gathered her carry-on items in her bag. She looked out the large window again and sighed. It would take some time to readjust, to forget the rush she felt when Booth accidentally brushed up against her, the rush she felt every time a new case came in. There would be other cases, but this time there wouldn't be a Seeley Booth attached to them. This was it.
Booth shoved people aside in his hurry to get to Brennan's gate, but even so, the congested path took forever to get through. He saw the number '23' at the end of the long corridor and a shrinking line of people slowly passing through the gate door to board the waiting plane. Booth pressed on, the gate growing closer as the line slowly disappeared. He caught a break in the populace at the end of the hallway and sprinted towards Brennan's gate, but the door had already closed. He pulled his badge from his breast pocket, ready to use it to get his Bones back even if it cost him a suspension. As he came to the desk by the door, the plane slowly backed out and began to roll towards the runway. The lady behind the desk battered her eyelashes in the most annoying way at him and asked in a nasally voice,
"Is anything the matter, sir?" She batted her eyelashes again.
'Bones would never do that…' Booth thought to himself. He slid the badge back into his pocket and turned his attention from the departing plane to the woman.
"No, thank you." He said dejectedly. She snatched the forgotten plane ticket from his left hand and read it.
"Gate 19 is back that way, sir." She smiled, pointing to the left of the gate down another hall. She handed the ticket back to him and Booth nodded, distracted.
"Thank you." He turned and walked back the way he came from, the lady shouting after him.
"Sir? Sir! Sir your gate is that way!" He ignored the calls and continued to walk, the hall now empty. Life just wasn't fair. Need to run down the hall to catch love and the place is spilling out into the parking lot. Walking back after letting love slip through your fingers, and it's just you and the linoleum, making it even lonelier. A steady rain began to fall as he walked to his car. Booth looked up into the sky, watching as a plane took off. He watched the windows, small faces obscured by rain and cloudy thoughts. As he stared, he wondered if Bones was looking for him, too.
"It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
I know there's a blue horizon
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.
Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now,
It starts with goodbye."
-Carrie Underwood
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Here's your second part! I've got the ending all planned out and everything, it'll be a real doozy. Haha I've always wanted to say that… eh hem, anyways. Review, my lovies and part three will come even sooner! –Ash, as always.