Lily shuddered.
James' tounge brushed her bottom lip, and with a gasp she accepted. She loved how he kissed her, and quite honestly she could die swimming in them. If she could be kissed like this every day by him, she wouldn't have a problem with it.
James shuddered as both her hands grabbed onto his white shirt collar. His hands slowly moved down from her upper back to her lower back. Lily was aware, but didn't mind. At least not yet.
Then, he made a wrong move, and cupped his hands just under her butt, and she became very aware. She pushed away from him against his chest, and he held on for a second, then let her go. Did she refuse him? James wasn't used to being refused by people, and this was too new for him. He wanted to glare but he didn't, he just waited blankly for an answer. Lily half glared half looked sorry for what she'd done. She could tell it was confusing him, but something so ... wrong was confusing him this much.
"What... what do you think your doing?" she asked shakily, unsure of how to go about getting mad at him, which was odd really.
James just looked at her, "I was kissing you." he said simply.
Lily looked dumbfounded, "Honestly... is that really your answer?"
"Yes." he said back.
She just looked at him unbelievingly. "You know," she said pointing at him, "Your ... your really impossible. Do you think you can get whatever girl you want? Whenever, and whereever?" she asked.
He looked at her, "Yes. I do, I can, and I have," he said and sighed, "Until now." he said more agrivatingly.
Lily glared at him, "Your a spoiled brat you know that? Spoiled rotten." she said flamingly. She'd never stood up to him in such a way, she usually liked what he was doing but didn't want to go too far. Not now at least.
James quirked a brow and grinned. He didn't say anything though.
She glared harder at him, attempting to possibly burn a whole through his face. "You know what," she started, heading somewhere she'd regret more than anything later, "Your a spoiled rotten little pig who's parents bail him out of every little thing. Your an ass, and you probobly do rely on your parents for everything. They probobly save your skin, and theyre the ones keeping you alive. God knows that you couldn't keep yourself alive. You take advantage of girls, and you can't even get in trouble for it with your parent's backing you up with their very lives!" she yelled. Her look showed that the whole time she was saying it she was trying not to, knowing it was a terrible thing to say. And now she had a look of such regret, especially seeing his reaction.
He stared at her. He looked stoned; or drunk with his eyes clouded the way they were. His mouth was open, and he was moving slightly as if trying to keep himself balanced on his own weight. He was looking around the room; like he was drugged, his eyes glazed over and shaking his head very slightly. He swallowed, and from how his face changed, you could tell it was painful. Lily was breathing somewhat heavily with a concerned look for James. He didn't look all that ... healthy.
James swallowed again with more ease and looked over in Lily's general direction. But not at her. He shook himself out of his state and cleared his throat. His voice cracked as he did. Lily suddenly realised, something she'd said to him had hurt him, and that was the thing that made him not smile and not laugh like he used to. But what was it?
His state, however long it may have felt to him, and may have seemed to Lily, only lasted one minute or so. So he was back to normal soon, and Lily didn't have time to say anything. He grinned at her, his eyes still looking like when he was drunk, and head up the stairs to the boys dormitory.
Lily listened as his footsteps faded and a door opened, and shut. What happened? She sighed and groaned loudly, sitting down on the couch.
"Something wrong?" yawned Kir. She walked down the girl's dormitory steps in her pajamas, her straight hair frizzed out a bit and pulled back into a high side-ways pony for the night. Her slippers flopped as she stepped onto the Common Room floor from the steps and she strode next to Lily, sat down, and yawned again.
"No. I'm fine." Lily said with a smile. She couldn't believe she'd said all that though. It was terrible of her, I mean... James' parents didn't bail him out of anything, well they did. But he didn't rely on them. He hated some of it really, the fact that he got bailed out of everything.
"Hey listen, do you know whats happened to James?" she asked. "Doesn't he seem off to you?" I mean, it was obvious to Lily. Someone else had to have noticed too.
Kir looked at her strangely, "Lil, I don't exactly know what your talking about. He's fine. Nothings happened to him either. He hasn't told Sirius anything..." she said with a shrug.
Lily sighed. "Alright." she said and flopped down on the couch. Kir was giving her a look, like 'why did something happen?' and Lily was feeling her face deteriorate under the gaze. "Okay! Sheesh, if your going for 'World's first nuclear stare' then you've got it in the bag," she said with a grin and Kir laughed slightly. "I don't know. I said something and it seemed to have bothered him. Enough to make him shutup at least." she joked.
Kir grinned and Lily sat up. Kir put her hand on her friends back and smiled, then glared, "Go to bed. Sleep. Now." she said and they both laughed. As Kir walked towards the steps Lily sighed and thought about the whole thing that had happened with James. He was the most... unreadable person ever.
Lily trudged up the stairs behind Kir and yawned, she needed some sleep.
James' head drooped and then shot back up, his eyelids trying desperatly to close. He opened them again, rather forcefully, and Sirius quirked a brow at him. He slipped a small vial into James' white shirt pocket, and waited for McGonagall to place them all in their new seats. She was desperatly looking for a reason to separate the Marauders, and in the second markings out of the four in term, she found one.
James, nodded his thanks, and uncorked the small vial. Pepper-up potion. He downed it while McGonagall's back was to him, and slipped it in his bag quickly. In an instant he felt better and grinned his thanks again, towards Sirius. Sirius gave a godly look and McGonagall finally turned round from the board.
"Here, all of you. Listen up!" she said clapping. The class hushed from its very dull whisper and came to attention. She perced her lips together as she scanned over the class. Everyone was there. Well.. no Lily was late. She groaned very silently. Unfortuanatly, (as said in earlier chapters), Lily was always late for this class. Constantly rushing in right at the bell, or Merlin knew how long, after it rang. She would always wind up copying notes most of the period, thus making it so that she didn't have much time to pay attention as McGonagall gave many notes. Rolling her eyes, she looked over the students again. She'd do those Marauders after everyone, and James being the last. Less trouble.
She seated everyone down, in random seats... and most wound up with people they could work with or could at least try and work with. Sirius wound up with Peter, and although he really knew Peter, he honestly didn't want to be his partner. Remus wound up with some Ravenclaw boy, and Kir wound up with a Hufflepuff guy. James was left. McGonagall sighed, and pointed at the seat in the back row. He sat down and prepared to sleep through the class.
"Good, very good." McGonagall said as she strode the front of the room. "Now, these notes are to be copied, and in 5 or 8 minutes, we'll do some reading from our text. Quickly though." she said, and with a flick of her wand, the chalk board flipped around in circles on its hinges, about 20 or so times... eventually slowing and stopping so that notes were visable in the finest cursive any of the students had ever seen. She gave a perce smile, and sat down attentivly. Grabbing her quill, she pulled a rather large stack of parchments towards herself, and began scratching 'x's and checks and scribbling here and there, with corrections, all over the papers.
James shrugged to himself, and grabbed his quill. Uncapping the ink bottle, he dipped the quill in twice, and pulled his parchment towards himself. He scribbled them down, in rather neat handwritting, but of course still scratchy, and every now and then, his head would pop up to check the board's words and scribble them down as his head lowered over his paper again. He got up to the 5th paragraph of notes, out of the 7, after about 10 or so minutes, and the door creeked.
Everyone turned their head, along with McGonagall, and her perce look, as the door opened a little more wider to reveal Lily Evans. She gave a sorry look to the professor, and McGonagall just rolled her eyes. She scanned the room and with that same sorry looks, she awkwardly pointed to the seat next to James. Yet, she still had that same perce air about her.
Lily rolled her eyes and threw her bag beside her, and just as she had gotten her things out, a flick of a wand came and went... along with the notes on the board. She turned to James. He nodded and swished his finished notes over to her, resting his chin in his hand as his elbow proped up his weight. She scrawled the notes out as McGonagall now flished her wand, and text pages came up on the board, in neat elegquant handwriting again. While a collective groan, not from James or Remus, for they rather liked this class, arrose from the class, all that was heard was the swish of texts accross desks and the crackings of some new ones being opened. (Some books were newer than others.)
James was on the third page, and Lily was almost done with her notes. He kept on about reading, but his leg touched hers and she looked over at him. Blankly, but questioningly as well. Wasn't he upset with her? Aparently it hadn't to have bothered him that much if he was trying to get in her underwear already now had it? She sighed and dipped her quill in the small ink bottle saftened to the table, scrawling some more notes on her parchment.
He didn't stop there, of course. He was James Potter. His leg moved slightly next to hers, and with his amazing ways, and knowladge about these things, her skirt hiked up a bit as he moved his leg. She sighed and rolled her eyes, ignoring it for now.
He didn't stop, but the funny thing was, his face stayed the same, eyes drilling through the pages of the book. And he was even reading as he did it. Doing his work as he attempted to get up Lily's skirt. He was on the 4th page now.
James' hand brushed her leg first, casually. When she looked at him, he looked back. He grinned and then grabbed another smaller peice of parchment, and scrawled out.. "Sorry, I had an itch on my leg." She gave him a 'yeah right' look and went back to what she was doing. She couldn't help to feel awkward now, even though she wanted to know what he could do to her.. with those amazing talents of his.
The corner of James' mouth was so unoticably upturned into the most unoticable grin as he read on. His hand rested on her thigh, but right near her underwear, under her skirt, as he (well what it looked like from someone else's point of veiw) put his weight on her, so he could pick up his quill from the floor, which had dropped. She stiffened a bit and expected him to take his hand off after he had gotten back up. He didn't.
Lily looked over at him... again. He grinned so innocently and boyishly she had to look away or he'd see her blush. It was an adorable little grin, honestly now. His hand stayed on her thigh, and Lily couldn't help but feel that it had gotten really close to her underwear, infact touching it now. His pointer and middle finger brushed the sensitive skin above the brim of them, as he moved his hand away, still reading on. Now he was on the 6th page. Lily took a quick intake of breath. What in lords name was he going for? Oh, not like she didn't know. She coudn't help but notice how much she wanted that in the same way she didn't. Wasn't he mad at her though? She could of sworn he was upset yesterday...
James saw how tense she'd gotten, more like felt the tremor run throughout her body. He just sensed these things, but he always noticed a huger reaction from Lily. This made him want to see it more, and so he did this all the time. He always wondered if he'd still try after he'd had her. Probobly.
Two girls, that were sitting two rows infront of James and Lily, were giggling and joking around silently at something, and one of the girls accidentally flung her quill beside Lily's bag. Lily ignored it. James found this interesting and grinned broadly. He gave a grin to the girls, and nodded saying he'd get it.
They flushed and grinned back. Instead of getting up, and going round Lily's chair, he leaned behind her. Their chairs were pretty close anyways, and almost touching, and she could feel his fit stomach against her back. It drove her mad. He grinned as he felt the slight twitch in her back muscle. He leaned all the way down, so his head could be said to be in level with her butt and grabbed the quill that was right by the back leg of her chair.
She stiffened again as he sat back up in his seat, and straigtened himself out. He then got up swiftly, and brushed his uniform pants off, walking over to the two girls. He handed them the quill and grinned deliciously. Now, was it that hard to get up and get the quill instead of drive Lily almost to the edge? She huffed.
James sat back down, and went on reading. He didn't have any more time to flirt with Lily, as the bell had rung and McGonagall was giving a loud shout of last minute reminders as the class filed out in a rush of loud giggles and roars of laughter, and conversations.
Kir linked arms with Lily, and they head off to the Great Hall. The Marauders were infront of them. Lily was walking someone in a direction behind James, and suddenly she bumped into someone tall and broad. Looking up she saw a mess of black hair from the back, and an untucked white shirt. James. He turned round, grinning again, deliciously, as Lily loved to say in her head. Did that make her insane?...
"Well, Lily." he said with a thinking look, as his brows furrowed together. "Not to be rude, but ... couldn't you watch where you walk." he asked mock seriously.
She usually, and always had a snide remark right back to him, but quite lately she'd become weaker around him. She rolled her eyes and her and Kir just moved infront of them. But James grabbed her arm and pulled her right up to him, spinning her round as he did so, so she know was looking up into his face.
"Watch your tounge lately, got it?" he asked, his eyes not seeming that usually dancing green. That peircing intense green that seemed the color could never be sucked out of them. She swallowed hard and furrowed her brows together in confusing, and he let go of her arm. She walked away, sort of dazed and Kir looked at her questioningly. She just shook her head and they walked off. Kir gave the same look to James' friends and they shrugged at her.
After they were gone, and the boys started walking and joking again, Remus looked over at James. "What was that all about James?" he asked as they strided into the Great Hall.
James sighed and shook his head, "Oh.. nothing." he said with a shrug. They seated themselfs at the Gryffindor table.
"No really, James... why does she have to watch her tounge? I've tried." Sirius said, attempting a crack at a joke. No one laughed though. For a joke to be a joke, someone's gotta find it funny... besides the stupid bloke who cracked it.
James ignored it, and Remus hit Sirius' arm. With a quick look to James, he grabbed at small roll and tore a bit off, popping it in his mouth. Swallowing, James sighed and looked at the entrance to the Great Hall.
"You don't have to stay you know," said Remus, "You look like you really wanna get out of here." he added with a weird look crossing his face for his friend.
James nodded and grinned at the guys, then head out the Great Hall.
All that time, Lily had been watching them. She saw him get up and leave, and as Kir kept on talking to her about her new Transfigurations partner, she hushed her friend. "I'm gonna see whats bothering him." she said and got up.
Kir looked at her, "But he doesn't want you to. He's a secrative kid that one. Never talks to anyone about his problems, and yeah Sirius.. but honestly, not everything in that head of his gets to Sirius." she said with a shrug.
"Its worth a shot." Lily grunted as she kicked her bag under the table. As she jogged out of the Great Hall, she yelled back, "Take my bag back for me?" and when Kir nodded, Lily completely left the Hall.
She just saw James round a corner and ran up behind him. "James." she said and he stopped.
"Mmm?"
She picked at a loose hem on her shirt. "Well," she said as he turned round. Upon seeing it was Lily, he loosened and gave her a 'delisious' grin of his, "Well, quite honestly ... you seem a tad bothered. Whats wrong?" she asked sounding as sweet as she could.
He rolled her eyes at her softness. Why would she care? He surely didn't care about her. Or her feelings. He groaned, as if this was a little child who didn't understand what the grown-ups were talking about.
"Nothings wrong... but you can make me feel better." he said raising his brows. His mouth didn't form a grin though. Maybe she'd think him serious if he didn't grin.
She looked at him uncertainly, but at no grin, she figured he might, on the slightest little chance, be telling the truth. Might... "Sure..." she said quietly and his face stayed the same. Serious. He actually was serious.
He quickly grabbed her wrist, and pulled her along a couple corridors into an empty classroom. He sat her down on a table, and he sat down on the one accross from it, so that the isle which a teacher would normally strole by to see what the students had done, was in between them, so that it looked like he wanted to talk in Lily's point of veiw.
He stared her down for a bit, just looking at her. As much as Lily knew it would break her down, she kept looking back. If it would get him talking... or maybe gazing into nothingness made the boy feel better. Strange kid he was.
He then jumped down from the table, and walked up and down the isle, passing her about two times. Then, when he was infront of her as he paced the third time, he stopped and looked at her again. She looked back.
James brought his pointer and middle finger under her chin, and by some sort of magical pupiteer strings, pulled Lily towards him. Her lips hit his, and to her surprise, he was kissing her softly. Tenderly, as someone who cared would.
Lily didn't know that James honestly.. didn't 'care' in the way she thought. Truth be told, the slow kisses were killing him. He was holding back so maybe this time, she might go at least a little further. She was right though, lately he'd become like a hollow vacuum of space when it came to feeling anything. More like a numb ringing came about him when he should feel hurt, happy, sad... it was all fake on the outside.
He snaked his arms firmly around her waist, and considering he was tall, and she was somewhat sorter than the normal height, he didn't have to strain at all. At that, her arms went around his neck. He kept the kiss soft, but his tounge brushed her bottom lip again, and she accepted. He made it a bit more intense, but restrained again knowing she might push away. Believe you me sweetie, it was killing him...
Lily didn't mind it however, and she was quite enjoying it. It was almost like a kiss from someone you consider your boyfriend. Her legs, subconsiously, wrapped around James and he moved it more, so he was as close as possible to her.
He left her lips then, and nussled her neck, giving her a soft kiss often. She sighed very slightly, ran her fingers through his hair. He took a deep breath in, and for the first time in a long while, felt like the world around him wasn't numb to feeling him, and seeing him. It didn't seem black and white and dead anymore. But it only lasted a little bit, and he wanted it so much more now that it was gone. He kissed her neck again, and moved back up to her lips.
She moaned as the kiss became just a bit more intense, and he restrained a grin from escaping his lips. But he felt in the back of his brain, the world get numb around him again, and dull, and black and white. He didn't want that, so he broke off and searched Lily's face for a minute. It only happened with her, and he wanted it enough that he could stay there the whole day just to feel that again.
Lily didn't know quite what was happening, but she could tell it had an effect on James. Not a bad one either. He seemed lost, but content. More settled. She deffinetly liked it.
James then kissed just below her ear, and felt her shiver a bit. He loved the reactions he got from Lily. They were so much more pure than all the other girls' reactions he'd been with. For some reason, he wanted to feel those reactions as much as he could, not like with other girls. It scared him, because he'd never felt ... needy. He'd always had just what he wanted right in a reach away. Lily was deffinetly doing something to him, and she had no clue.
He brushed his cheek against hers and kissed her again, on the lips. Then he let go of her waist and pulled back from her. He loved the feeling, sure, but it was scaring him. Driving him to some sort of confusion he really couldn't take. Not now.
She didn't hesitate, because she knew whatever had just happened, no matter what he'd origionally intended it to be, it wasn't that. It was real. That was James. She was sure that if he'd ever had a serious girlfriend, that was how he'd treat her. That wasn't someone who was looking for sex, that was someone who was looking for a feeling. She could just tell, and if someone asked her how, she'd never be able to put it to words. Nor to images.. or anything. It was just how you felt when you cared. And she didn't even know why she cared for him, but she'd taken to him all the more that one moment. Even after his eyes went back to that stone cold look again, hollow.
James took a deap breath and looked her over. He helped her down, rather roughly, for he didn't want her to feel him shake a bit. He felt like buckling right there and just... laying on the ground.
They both walked out of the classroom and James immediatly went in a direction Lily didn't know. She sighed and went back to the Great Hall. Kir was still there, talking to some other girls, one of which was on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, and sat down. She immediatly picked up the conversation, but now the whole James thing was bothering her. It just made her want to know more about the kid, that whole experience.
James felt like tearing his brain out of his skull though. He didn't want to feel that way. He didn't want to feel like he needed someone to feel someway that he'd never even known about. It drove him crazy, and scared him to ends. His heart only raced faster as he raced down the corridors out to the feilds where he finally calmed down. He leaned against a tree and closed his eyes. He felt weak and tired, like a little kissing like that... wore him down to the brim. Sighing, he fell asleep against he tree, while he would be dreaming, he more along the lines thought about the whole thing with Lily, playing it over and over in his head.
Thanks for reading, and I'm dreadfully sorry it took so long to update. Its been perfectly hectic round here...-.- But I'm back. Highschool can stinkers. Lol. Review, and I promise for an update!