animedeprived: Whee! Chapter Three of my awesome LINK story! YAY LINK! Take it away!

Link: animedeprived does not own me (unfortunately), the Legend of Zelda games, Pinocchio (which she doesn't want anyway. That movie sucks), or South Park, a line of which she is borrowing for this fic. She has, however, patented the term "Righteous fury!" Say it, and you owe her a dollar. Chocolate chip cookies are also acceptable.

The Legend of Zelda: Sugarhigh Ocarina of Time

Chapter Three

Zora's Sapphire

Day 48 - Hyrule Field
Feeling woozy after last dungeon. Been wandering around looking for red hots. No luck so far. Fell down a hole. Not able to muster enough sugariness to climb out.
Hey, what's that pretty light floating so hallucinating-ly toward me?
Ulp. Think I just swallowed a fairy.
TASTED LIKE COOKIES! Warm, soft, fresh out of oven, perfectly melted chocolate, delicious cookies!
Wonder what my Fairy tastes like.

Day 48
Like hundreds of used acidic hypodermic needles. Will be scrubbing mouth for years.

Day 49
Just realized. Haven't bathed since started this quest...or before then, either. Went to river, but stupid current washed away pine needle shampoo I stole from Saria. sniff It smelled so good.

Day 49½ - Zora's River
Went upstream to find other place to wash. Ran into huge owl. Thought it would eat me, but it just started talking.

Day 49 3/4
Stuffed Bombs in ears to drown out bloody owl. Fairy and GDT short-winded compared to this thing.
P.S. Found bottle of icing in bush. Now so hyper, energy shoots from my sword when I spin around like a flipping pansy.

Day 49 5/8
Wishing owl had just eaten me.

Day 50
FINALLY! Stupid owl shut up! Blew up rocks (heh heh. Sweet explosion) and went up river. Forced to hold chicken over head to make it to waterfall. Relieved when it didn't crap on me.

Day 51 - Zora's Domain
Went into waterfall and found fish people! Man, this country is infested with FREAKS!

Day 51
King of Fish-freaks lost his Fish-freak Princess and expects ME to find her! Why do I have to fix everyone else's problems! I AM NOT A COOKIE! You know what? Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Day 53
Forced by Fairy to help. Worse than stupid Cricket with whiny wood boy who should count his blessings. It could be worse. He could be firewood.

Day 53 - Zora's Fountain
Fish-freaks really conceited. Everything here named after them.
GIGANTANAMOUS FISH IN FOUNTAIN! If that's not bad enough, I have to climb inside it! Why does quest for stones force me to crawl around in so many guts?

Day 53 - Inside Jabu-Jabu
Will never complain about tree guts again.

Day 53
Found stupid Fish-freak Princess. V. stuck up. What? You refuse my help? You can do it yourself?
Righteous fury! I'm out of here!

Day 53
Tell me she didn't just fall down that hole, screaming for help.

Day 53
She did.

Day 53
Stuck up Fish-freak Princess forced me to carry her though ENTIRE dungeon! Will admit Her Royal Pudginess came in handy holding switches and killing enemies. She didn't have to kick me in the head with those spurs, though.

Day 53
Defeated big lightning rod. Think it singed my hair. On plus side, more dark chocolate and no more fish guts. On infinitely worse side, Princess of Fish-freaks wants to marry me. Said jaw breaker is really engagement ring. It's a jaw breaker. Stop trying to make this into a soap opera. Besides, isn't it, like, illegal for two ten-year-olds to get married?