animedeprived: OOOOOoooOoooooOOOOOoooo! Fire Temple! It's my favorite Temple! There's fire everywhere. Other than that, it sucks. I hate the red tunic. It makes my Link look bad. Not ugly, but not as hot. I want a freaking s'more.
Link: Yes, of course you enjoyed the Fire Temple. You weren't the one falling in all that lava.
animedeprived: Well, you have to admit that the dragon was cool.
Link: Yeah, okay, it was. Potentially fatal, but cool. animedeprived doesn't own... well, I guess there's nothing in here that you don't know that I haven't said before. Awesome.
The Legend of Zelda: Sugarhigh Ocarina of Time
Chapter 6
The Fire Temple
Day 7 years + 10 - Kakariko Village
Sick and tired of hiking for three days to go half a mile. Screw this, I'm breaking down and buying a cheat book.
Day 7 years + 10
Ooo... I learn a new song here. I'll just go do that now.
Day 7 years + 10
Learned Song of Storms from v. ticked looking man in windmill.
Day 7 years + 10
Okay... transportation, transportation... Hey! I get a horse! She looks so fuzzy! Can't resist strong urge to get her right now. Where's Lon Lon Ranch?
Day 7 years + 17 - Hyrule Field
Played Song of Storms. Expected lightning to shoot down and smite my enemies. Got rain. Got wet. Fairy laughed. Wish had Song of Slow Fairy Death.
Been searching for ranch. Unable to locate. Fairy finally suggested checking map.
I have a map?
Day 7 years + 18
Whhhheeeeeeeee! Love Epona! Pretty, fast, fuzzy horsie! Unfortunately, she thinks orange bangs are carrots. Don't see how, as they are shiny and luxurious, not bumpy and dirty. Or carrot flavored...right?
Day 7 years + 18
Hair definitely not carrot flavored. In fact, tastes strangely like horse spit.
In other news, Fairy says something wrong with mountain. As hero, obliged to check it out.
Day 7 years + 20 - Goron City
Amazing! Only one Goron left in city. Others taken away to substitute as Ganondorf's pet chow.
Thought about enslaving remaining Goron and becoming King of Gorons, as is my dream, but decided against it. Only Goron small and wimpy. No good for backbreaking manual labor. Plus, said he has new tunic for me. Please be black, please be black, please be black.
Day 7 years + 20
It's red. Red too close to pink for my liking. Then again, blood is red, and blood is awesome. But still! Red doesn't go well with my coloring! Tiny Goron wuss says tunic is heat resistant. Rather go into pit of boiling lava without it.
Day 7 years + 20 - Death Mountain Crater
Wow...didn't realize...boiling hot lava...was so HOT! Fairy...made good point... Wear red tunic...that's bad with my coloring...or roast Link for supper.
Decided to wear tunic. Will complain endlessly about it, but will wear it.
Day 7 years + 20
Yay! Now it's nice and toasty in here, not melty-hot like before.
Hold on. Thought surfacing. Melty...melty...melty...
S'MORES!
Day 7 years + 21 - Fire Temple
Forced by Fairy to stop making s'mores. Plan to sulk until given cookie. Only ate 4,228 s'mores. Need more sugar.
Met Shiek on way into Temple. How can s/he stand heat without bad-for-my-coloring red tunic? S/he's not even sweating! Learned stupid new song that swirls me in red light and dumps me in crater. Nice. Blinded by another nasty nut. Life goes on.
Day 7 years + 21
Lots of lava. Everywhere. And gag-me red tunic, while heat-resistant, is no good against fire or lava. Learned this through painful first-hand experience. Fairy won't let me to hospital to get third degree burns checked.
Day 7 years + 21
Slowly going insane. Fire randomly shooting out of everywhere. Constantly chased by suicidal flaming bats. Ugly red tunic slowly destroying my hotness. Gorons everywhere. Plenty of advice. No sugar. Really need sugar more.
Day 7 years + 21
Found v. big hammer in chest. Licked. Disappointed to discover that it tasted like rusty metal, not candy.
Day 7 years + 21
Hallelujah! Finally able to get to Boss. Need out of this sugar-free dungeon.
Day 7 years + 21
Boss is really big lava dragon. Cool! I love dragons...when they're not trying to kill me. Knew there would be dragon somewhere in this quest. Let's get this over with.
Day 7 years + 21
Starting to freak out. Sword, arrow, bombs all useless! HOW DO I KILL IT! Wait, where's my cheat book?
Hey, stop! Those are my beans! You can't eat them! I was going to trade them for candy!
Day 7 years + 21
Wow. Apparently if fire-breathing dragon eats beans, it craps fire until it dies. Disgustingly cool to watch.
Don't really care how it died, though. Still get dark chocolate.
Day 7 years + 21 - Chamber of Sages
Dumped here again. Listened to Chief Goron Darooniananana... Hey, stop rolling the dialogue so fast! I need to spell this guy's name!
Note to self: Write threatening letter to tech department.
Hey, fat butt! Where's my- Yay! Cherry pie! Another note to self: Write worship letter to kitchen about pie.
Day 7 years + 21 - Death Mountain Crater
And the blue light puts me down in the pit of boiling lava again. Great. Now how do I get out of here?
OMG! Is that a piece of dark chocolate I see? And there's another one!
I love this place.