Crazy trouble with love part 9
Shirou and Musashi
Series: Fate Stay
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-Emiya Residence-
"Hey Shirou, today looks like the perfect time for a little house cleaning." Taiga smiled while handing the boy a feather duster. "And since the attic is getting a little musky, you will be doing that first."
"Why not you?"
"Because I have some errands to do in town."
He sighed as she turned and headed out.
"Oh and one more thing." Taiga said, making him stop in his tracks. "If you find anything interesting, like oh say a wedding dress or something, show it to me and your friends."
"Why?"
"Because I wanted to see what happens when Sakura and Rin see it. Like will try to act all cute and stuff or just faint." she grinned.
"Taiga-nee." he groaned.
"What? It's funny."
"At their expense." he grumbled while walking away.
"Still funny in my books!"
(Later)
Shirou coughed while walking up the stairs to the attic, finding LOTS of dust bunnies and massive spider webs, the side of a person's body, in the pitch black area.
He was trying his hardest not to cough up a lung and keep his eyes from watering constantly as he opened the window to try and air it out. "Disgusting." 'So many cobwebs!'
As he coughed, he pulled out a flashlight and turned it on.
Click.
"Where did all this stuff come from?" He muttered out loud while seeing that the entire attic had boxes going to the ceiling. "This is gonna be fun." He grumbled sarcastically.
As he moved around, he noticed that the spiders were abnormally large and about the size of a human hand, making him shiver in fear.
"Ew." He gagged before moving one of the boxes and saw two red maple leaf earrings dangling from the cardboard flap. "Huh, Taiga might actually like these."
As he picked them up and pocketed them, he saw a rather large spider crawl up his arm along with several others, each one with an egg sack on their backs.
"WAHHH!"
(Later)
Shirou shivered in fear as he was currently taking a shower to get the eggs off his body, the earrings sitting right on the toilet seat as the boy blasted his body with hot water. "Next time I'm making Taiga-nee come with me."
As the water flowed down his face, he never noticed that the earrings' pointed tips were exposed nor that he ever realized as he finished washing his hair and began to turn the water off.
"I mean ew! That was too gross, even for me." He shivered while stepping out of the shower, grabbed a towel and sat down on the toilet seat.
STAB!
Only for the point to puncture his left ass cheek, drawing blood in the process that covered the earrings like a blanket.
"YEOW!" He jumped up and held the spot with a hiss of pain. "FUCK!"
As he pulled the earrings off, Taiga, who just so happened to return from town, heard the scream and kicked the door down.
"SHIROU! WHAT-"
"CLOSE THE DOOR!"
She jumped and slammed the door quickly.
(A little bit later)
"Ow..." Shirou groaned while fully clothed except for his now exposed ass as Taiga was currently placing bandages on it.
"You gotta be more careful where you sit." Taiga said while tightening the bandages. "Especially after a shower."
"Ow...I got it Taiga-nee."
She sighed before asking. "So what were those earrings for anyway?"
"For you."
"Eh? Me?" She said in surprise.
"Yes."
"Aw, you're so sweet." She smiled while adding the last bandage, only to hear a loud crash in the kitchen. "What was that?"
"No idea." Shirou said while getting up, although his ass was still numb from the pain and hard to move. "Ow..."
As they ran quickly, or slowly in Shirou's case, into the kitchen, they noticed that someone was raiding the fridge, the door obscuring their body.
"Shit, it's a burglar." whispered Taiga in worry. "Where's the phone?"
"Near the fridge." Shirou groaned as the door closed to reveal the figure.
That being a tall pale skinned woman with bluish silver eyes, silver hair with a long strand going down her right side to her chest while the back was tied in a spiked mop by a black buzzsaw like band with a small red maple leaf in the center, a long strand of hair on her left side that curled in a single corkscrew to her shoulder, a G cup chest and large hips, wearing a shoulderless dark blue kimono like dress with red and deep yellow trimmings, a black ruffle choker with black strings attached to the base and went to the sides of her v-cut opening, a pale green magatama in the center of the choker, black sleeves with ruffled shoulders and a red ruffled cuff, a two red cloths that hung over her shoulders and were attached by red string seen on the front and back of her upper chest area, blue elbow guards with red fabric under them, a three pronged blue flame wrist guard with an inner red core that went from her wrists to her elbows, a deep red obi tied in a bow with white clouds and a small gold string around the center as a golden circle adorned with a deep black colored five pointed star rested in the middle, a black ruffle below the obi with a long red skirt covered in red maple leaves that trailed down her hips to her knees except for around the front where two pointed overlapping triangular points covered her groin area and exposed her upper legs, two red maple leaf earrings, two black bands that were attached to the obi's center by golden clasps and went down to her left hip, two long blue sheaths hanging from her left hip with blue hilts sporting silver designs at the front, a reddish or golden bottom with small cloud like designs running up towards the hilts and long golden rope wrapped around its base, long black tabi that went to above the knees due to their triangular points, red and blue cloth tied to her knees by golden rope in a single butterfly knot, red high heels with black straps over the toes and achilles' tendon as blue cloth covered the front of the foot along with a golden ring, who was currently trying to open a bottle of milk.
"Ugh! Open up!" she groaned while looking a little confused, only to see Taiga and Shirou and smiled. "Hi."
"Uh...hi?" Shirou said awkwardly as the woman smiled.
"The names Miyamoto Musashi, formaly it's Shinmen Musashi no Kami Fujiwara no Harunobu. But you can call me Musashi, Saber or Musashi-chan." She said in a laid back tone that made Taiga relax her guard slightly. "So want to help me open this strange bottle of sake?"
"That's milk."
"...eh!? Wow, I didn't even expect that milk could come in a bottle...huh. Can you still open it for me?"
"Can you tell us how you got in our house first?"
"I just popped up." she smiled. "So can you help?"
He sighed while taking the bottle and opened it. "Here."
She smiled before taking the bottle and guzled it down in a single gulp. "Ah! That's actually pretty good milk."
"So...how exactly did you 'pop' out?"
"I appeared from the Throne of Heroes." she smiled. "Well more like I was summoned from another timeline to this one."
"...eh?" both said at once.
"Long story, but since I'm here, which one of you is my master?" she asked while crossing her arms. "Is it the cute boy or the attractive older sister?"
"Master?!" Both said at once while thinking a little too perversely.
"Yeah, so which one of you is my master?"
"Uh...hold on for a second." Shirou said while dragging Taiga out of the room, not noticing that 'Saber' walked behind them and began exploring the place. "Taiga-nee! What's happening!?"
"I don't know!" Taiga whispered in equal shock. "But if this is something you did in your personal tim-"
"No!" he blushed as 'Saber' continued to look around, poking the furniture and lamps in the process.
'These seem to be quite fancy.' Musashi thought while poking a finger on a nearby couch pillow. 'And surprisingly soft.'
That was when Shirou noticed that his right hand had a red tattoo with a maple leaf on the palm of his hand. "...when did I get a tattoo?"
"A what?" Taiga said before seeing the tattoo and blinked as 'Saber' walked over to Shirou and saw the tattoo as well.
"Oh! You're my master." she smiled. "That's great, I'll be happy to fight by your side...um...handsome-sama?"
"It's Shirou."
"Shirou-sama." she beamed with joy. "I shall remember that Shirou-sama!"
"Wait! What does a tattoo have anything to do with this?"
"You mean the command seal?" She asked while Shirou looked a little lost. "Wait, do you even know about magecraft?"
"A little."
"Well, then you know that Servants, like myself, are beings that help a mage win the Holy Grail War." she said before explaining the idea to him.
(Two hours later)
Shirou and Taiga snored while Musashi began to raid the fridge again, looking for sake as she knew that she gave the two 'siblings' a lot of information, enough to knock them out cold.
"Mmmm~" she hummed, biting into some noodles. 'Tasty~ This soba is so good!'
As Shirou slowly woke up, he noticed 'Saber' looking at the leftover soba noodle bowl, which he made yesterday, and sighed.
"Why are you raiding the fridge again?"
"Oh sorry Shirou-sama, but I was hungry and this soba is so good!"
"Well, thanks. It took me a long time to make it just right." he admitted sheepishly as Musashi looked at him in shock.
"You made this?"
"Yep."
She blushed and smiled. "Shirou-sama, I think you made me fall in love with you."
"W-What!?"
"I mean, this cooking is so good! And the way to a girl's heart is the stomach so...I love you!" she smiled while looking very giddy.
"...EEEEEEEH?!" Shirou yelled in shock as Musashi kept on eating the noodles.
Taiga groaned while walking up, due to the yelling, and shook her head. "What? What's going on?"
"Ta-"
"I'm in love with Shirou-sama." Musashi smiled. "He is a good cook, thus I love him."
"...night night." Shirou said before fainting.
Boing~
Right into Saber's chest to be exact, making her blush a bright red.
"S-Shirou-sama! That's a bit fast..."
Silence.
"Shirou-sama?"
(Later)
"Shirou-sama." Musashi said while currently on his lap during dinner. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah, just...fine." He blushed while feeling uncomfortable with a girl on his lap. "But why are you on me again?"
"Because I love you." she smiled, making him blush.
"Oh...I see."
That was when she took her chopsticks and began eating some of Shirou's food, which happened to be chicken.
"Mmmm~" she moaned as Taiga snickered.
"Hey Shirou, shouldn't you be the one feeding her?"
"Taiga-nee." He blushed.
"I'm serious, this girl loves you yet you don't offer her food from your own chopsticks? How rude of you." she shook her head in mock disappointment. "For shame!"
Shirou groaned as Saber looked at him and smiled, making him blush even more as she placed some food near his lips.
"Say aw~"
"A-Ahhh." He said before the chopsticks entered his mouth, which made Taiga gush a little.
"Aw, my little Shirou is all grown up now." she smiled. "But you might want to tell Rin and Sakura about your girlfriend, lest they get upset."
"Taiga-nee!" He blushed while Musashi continued to give him food with her chopsticks.
Taiga grinned. "Want me to get a priest?"
"TAIGA-NEE!"
(A few weeks later)
Taiga sighed while looking at the two 'lovers', more specifically the 'girlfriend' who was currently eating her tenth udon bowl, prepared by the 'boyfriend' and well...
GROWL!
She wanted that meal, badly.
'Stupid test papers. Why did there have to be more than usual?' She thought before reaching for the udon bowl.
Slap!
Only for Saber to slap the hand away.
"Mine!"
"Ow!" She held her hand in pain. "Why you! I want that bowl!"
Musashi glared. "My udon!"
"Learn to share!"
Shirou sweatdropped at this while the two women glared at the other, hoping to get some udon for their stomach's endless hunger.
However, as this was occuring, time seemed to stand still.
Woosh!
Only for Taiga and Musashi to jump at each other, with the speed of a cat and swordswoman respectively, attacking each other with enough viciousness to spook Shirou a little.
"Give me!"
"Never!"
"Give me the udon!"
"Never!"
Shirou sweatdropped while the two women exchanged blows. "Hey now, calm down you two!"
"She started it!" Both yelled while Musashi glared at Taiga.
"Well maybe it's time to stop it." Shirou sighed. "Taiga, you can have Musashi-chan's udon."
"Yes!" Taiga cried out with joy as Musashi slumped sadly in response.
"Aw."
"Don't worry, I'll make you a fresh bowl." Shirou said while seeing his 'girlfriend's' expression turn from sad to happy on a dime. 'Cute, in her own way.'
"Oh right." Taiga said while finishing up her udon. "This weekend is the annual Fuyuki City Udon Festival. And I believe that this year's eating contest is going to have your friends participate, Shirou."
"Really?"
"You should let your girlfriend compete, she's a glutton for the stuff."
"I am not!" Musashi huffed. "But I will accept this challenge! As a swordswoman, I will show off my skills and prove myself to the city, and to Shirou-sama."
Shirou and Taiga sweatdropped at this. 'Should have known she'd say it like that.'
(The weekend)
-Fuyuki Amusement Park-
"Wow!" Musashi said with wide eyes while seeing the normally quiet amusement park alive with festive music, sights and sounds, several stalls full of udon being served could be seen for miles in every direction. "This is amazing!"
Shirou sweatdropped while watching the famous samurai looking around like a child.
"Shirou-sama, this is amazing!"
"I suppose it is for first timers." he chuckled while seeing several people walking towards a stage with the banner 'Fuyuki City Udon Festival Eating Contest' stretched across the light fixtures. "And that's where the contest is. Are you sure you can eat that much udon?"
"Yep." she winked. "I'm confident with my skills, I won't fail you Shirou-sama."
'I'm more worried about her puking than my own honor.' he thought with a sweatdrop.
"What are you doing here?"
He blinked while turning to see Rin right behind him. "Oh Rin, hi."
"That didn't answer my question. Why are you here?"
"Simple." Musashi said while butting in. "My 'boyfriend' wants to see me win the competition, right Shirou-sama?"
"Uh…." he blushed with Rin blinking in surprise.
"Since when did you have a girlfriend?"
"Since a month ago, she um...fell in love with my cooking." he sweatdropped.
"And who is she?"
"Um…"
"Saber. But you can call me Musashi-chan." she smiled as Rin realized that Shirou was a Master now. "And who are you?"
"I-"
"Wait, I know! You're Shirou-sama's mistress right?" she asked while Rin blushed red. "Oh this is great, I wanted to meet someone that loved Shirou-sama as much as I do. Tell me, do you love his cooking as well?"
"I-I-" she stuttered while her brain turned to jello.
"Your silence tells me all." she smiled before shaking her hands a little. "I hope we face each other in the field of udon eating battle, so that I can keep my position as wife intact."
"I-I'm not this baka's mistress!"
"Oh, then why are you red with passion?" she smirked as Rin was currently trying to keep her embarrassment underwraps, to no avail.
"Saber-"
"Senpai!" Sakura called out while running towards him, only to see Musashi. "Who is this?"
"She-"
"I'm his wife." Musashi smiled. "Are you another one of Shirou-sama's mistresses?"
Rin paled and looked at Sakura who went still, only for her to close her eyes and smile.
"Oh, you're senpai's wife? That's….wonderful."
Musashi smiled before moving closer to the girl. "So you're the headmistress right? Good, I think Shirou-sama really likes you. If you can cook, maybe we can exchange recipes-"
"Saber!" Shirou groaned. "Sorry Sakura, she fell in love with my food and she's been doing this for a month."
"A month huh?"
"Yep." Musashi smiled. "And today I'm going to win the udon eating contest and get Shirou-sama's love!"
"I see." she frowned. "What a coincidence, I was going to attend the contest as well." 'No one steals senpai's love!'
"Great." the servant smiled. "I hope to see you there."
'Why me?' Shirou thought as he saw his friends looking very much pissed at the servant.
(Later)
Shirou watched from the stands as he saw Kirei Kotomine, weirdly enough, explaining the rules of the contest as Musashi, Rin, Sakura and Lancer were the only contestants on the stage.
"Welcome! Today will watch as our contestants are ready to push their stomachs to their limits for the Udon Festival!"
The crowd cheered as Shirou shivered at the mad priests' words, as if he couldn't stomach it at all.
"And today we have four noble contestants." he said while pointing to the four individuals. "But only one will come out the victor."
Musashi waved before seeing the udon, which...
[AHHHHHHHHHH!]
Looked like the unholy union of mapo tofu and udon, the screams of hell trying to escape the ten circles of culinary hell as the species seemed to pollute the air with toxic bubbles.
All of them turned green and felt like they were gonna be sick. Well, except for Musashi who was just looking at the food like any normal udon.
'Tasty~' she thought while drooling a little.
"The one who can eat more bowls wins, those who can't or hurl, lose." he said calmly while pulling out a gun. "Ok, on your mark, get set."
BAM!
"GO!"
And like that, Musashi started to eat her udon bowls as the other three seemed hesitant to eat the monstrosity in their presence, even the Child of Light.
'That looks worse than the cursed dog meat I ate.' Lancer thought with a shiver. 'I can still taste the bitter after taste.'
As this hesitation continued, Musashi kept on eating, currently on her twelfth bowl as the crowd cheered for her.
'Should I even EAT that slop!?' Rin thought while gagging in her head. 'Why did he even MAKE this!? No one likes mapo tofu!'
Sakura looked at the udon before taking a bite.
CRASH!
And fainted from the terrible taste.
"Sakura!" Rin cried out in shock as Musashi kept on eating.
"And our first loss!"
Lancer gulped before taking a bite of the udon.
CRASH!
And passed out as he could feel his spirit returning to the Throne of Heroes.
"And our second loss!"
'Delicious!' Musashi thought with a smile while on her twentieth bowl. 'This is so good!'
'How can she find this good!?' Rin thought in shock while seeing Shirou cheering Musashi, making her pissed. 'No matter! I will show the baka that I'm the wife of this relationship...wait why did I phrase it like that!?'
"More please!" Musashi called out while holding her thirtieth bowl.
Rin went wide eyed before taking a bite of the udon.
CRASH!
Only for her to get food poisoning as she fell back and held her stomach in pain.
"And our final loss! The winner is the girl with the silver eyes!"
"Yay!" she jumped for joy before-
Grugle~
"..." she groaned before holding her stomach and began to feel her entire body spasming like an electric eel. "Ugh...don't...feel…"
Shirou noticed this, and promptly grabbed the man next to him, moving him in front of him.
"BLECK!"
And cue her puking on the unfortunate man, revealing himself as a certain 'King of Heroes', who was really unhappy.
"Your death will be SLOW and PAINFUL."
"Mmmm!" she groaned while puking again, making the man twitch in anger.
"HOW DARE YOU!"
(Later)
Musashi groaned while currently in bed, her stomach currently shot along with her bowels, as Shirou tried to give her some simple gruel to help her stomach get better. "Ugh…"
"Take it easy."
"Ugh…"
"Maybe you should take this as a sign to try and not eat so much." He said while moving the wooden spoon closer to her.
"T...Thanks." She said while moving her mouth over the gruel and took a bite. "Mmm…" 'So good!'
'Still as hungry as ever.' He thought with a sweatdrop. "If you want any water, just ask ok?"
"Thank you….Shirou-sama." she said with a smile while taking another bite, her eyes watering with joy at how lucky she was to have a master like him. 'Shirou-sama...I feel truly blessed.'
"Just don't overexert yourself, ok?"
"Ok…" she said while smiling, the screen fading to black with a heart forming right over their faces in the process.
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END