animedeprived: Well, that was an experience I never want to go through again. I just took my SATs, and I think I slept through them, because I can't remember much except the bubbles. Those bubbles are going to give me nightmares for weeks. I'm still trying to decide if it was better or worse than almost dying because some idiot tried to merge into my lane when I was right beside him.

Link: animedeprived does not own Linkin Park. Now, please excuse me while I go hunt down, torture, and eventually kill the person who almost hurt her.

The Legend of Zelda: Sugarhigh Ocarina of Time

Chapter 9

The Shadow Temple

Day 7 years + 34 - Temple of Time
YES! MY RUGGED MANLINESS! IT HAS RETURNED! Not to mention I have Master Sword back. Never realized how short and stumpy Kokiri Sword is. More like Kokiri Stick.

Day 7 years + 36 - Hyrule Field
Fairy says I have to go back to Kakariko Village. Is she nuts! They'll kill me! Still haven't disinfected all my rabid squirrel bites!

Day 7 years + 37
Moved three feet toward Village. Refuse to go any closer. Still have nightmares about flaming squirrels.
Mmm. BBQ squirrel. Tastes like rat poison.

Day 7 years + 38
Another three feet today. Roasted Deku nuts on fire. Lured in unsuspecting little bunny. He was so fuzzy and had a wiggly pink nose and twitchy ears and humongous blue eyes that looked at the world in a wonderfully innocent way.
So I grabbed him.

Day 7 years + 39 - Kakariko Village
Finally made it inside! I owe it all to Mr. Bunny Fluffy Face. He gave me courage. I stayed up all night enjoying him. He was scared at first, but then resigned himself to his fate and let me pet him all night long! I let him go this morning and he hopped off into the sunrise. Goodbye, Mr. Bunny Fluffy Face! Goodbye and good luck!
Then a wolf ran up and ate him. Eh. Such is life.
Anyway, village burning again. Or still burning, for all I know.

Day 7 years + 39
Found Shiek standing at well. S/he said to stay back because of some evil. Hey, who's the hero of this story? Anyway, something knocked wood thingy off well and swirled s/he through air. Ha ha!
Oh, monkey turds! It saw me!

Day 7 years + 39
Woke up spreadeagled on ground with s/he leaning over me. Back up, ambiguously gendered fiend! You're in my bubble! NOOO! S/he popped my bubble...
Got up. S/he said something about evil breaking out of seal on well. That's funny. Didn't see anything that looked like ancient seal when I was down there seven years ago. Learned song to get to Temple so I can kill evil thing. Typical. Before, when I allegedly burned down half the village, it was "Kill him, kill him!" Now they're all "Save us, save us!" I hate this job.

Day 7 years + 40 - Shadow Temple
It smells like feet in here.
Zombie feet.

Day 7 years + 40
Wheee! Found some fun shoes that hold me up over empty space. Like flying, except have to hurry because boots only work for short time before I fall to my death in never-ending abyss. Personal experience. Also good for sliding around in. Feel like ice skater. My lifelong dream come true! HOLY CRAP! A WALL!

Day 7 years + 40
Discovered downside of cool shoes. No traction. Feel like hockey player. Ow.

Day 7 years + 40
This place worse than well. Zombies everywhere. Invisible, rotating, scythe-wielding statues trying to decapitate me. Guillotines trying to dice me up. Lots of walking on things I can't see. Booth selling sugar-free cake. Like scene from one of my darkest nightmares.

Day 7 years + 40
Found inside river and boat today. Boat quite large. Wonder if there used to be Shadow Temple boat tours. Also wonder who would pay to see this place.
Anyway, got on boat and it started moving. Like the jingly bells. Dingle-dingle. Dangle-dangle. Dingle-dangle. Dangle-dingle.
HOLY CRAP! A SKELETON!
Not really sure why I'm so surprised.

Day 7 years + 40
Skeletons appear to have upgraded since I was a kid. Have armor. And swords. And got taller.
Still died quick.
What's that floating in the water... OH MOTHER OF THE SON OF THE KING OF SIAM'S MONKEY'S TRAINER'S DISCONTENTED TAX AUDITOR!
I dropped my cheat book in the river!

Day 7 years + 40
Tried to jump in river to retrieve cheat book, but held back by Fairy. In hindsight, probably a good thing as water looks toxic. Then ship shook and Fairy yelled something about it sinking. Didn't pay attention, as got off five years ago. Fairy needs some wicked ninja senses or something.

Day 7 years + 40
Fell through hole onto big trampoline-like drum. Thought it was hole-that's-not-really-a-hole, but it was actually a hole. Huge eyeball with arms tried to play drum. Not exactly international rock star with sweet blue mohawk. Worst drumming I ever heard. Stabbed monster to shut it up. Jumped on trampoline while I ate dark chocolate. Really quite fun, especially with Hover Boots on. Need sweet punk rock to bounce to. Like Linkin Park. Linkin Park is awesome.

Day 7 years + 40 - Chamber of Sages
Smelly bodyguard of Zelda is Sage of Shadow. Makes sense as she has good daytime ninja skills. Impa said Zelda is safe, but more importantly, taught me daytime ninja skills. Finally! Apparently, secret is to close eyes and pretend I'm invisible. Have to pretend it real hard or no one will think I am.
Even more importantly, got more pie, but not just any pie. Dark chocolate pie with chocolate whipped cream and chocolate chips and chocolate crust and chocolate candle! Ok, maybe candle not made of chocolate. Ate it anyway.

Day 7 years + 41 - Kakariko Village
Village stopped burning. Aw. Wanted s'mores. Villagers threw big "thank you/we're sorry we tried to kill you" party for me. Lots of meat and alcohol, but no candy. Used new daytime ninja skills to sneak out for candy. Got away unnoticed. Oh, yeah. I rock.

animedeprived: Surely on some level you realized that I couldn't go through this story without a chocolate pie. To be fair, I did consider blackberry, since it's purple and... strangely not black, as the name leads you to believe. But I decided I needed a chocolate pie, which was close enough. If it makes you feel better, tell yourself that the chocolate was spray painted purple or something.