AN: Nope, still don't own Teen Titans. Try again later!

Chapter 11: Did I Wait Too Long?

Beast Boy sat outside in one of the patio chairs beneath the umbrella. Raven had been in her room for hours and he wanted to know if she was alright. But, she wanted to be alone, and he had to respect that. Suddenly he heard the deck door behind him open and he jumped. He turned and saw Raven standing in the doorway, holding one of her arms nervously. Beast Boy jumped to his feet now the two were just awkwardly staring at each other.

"So, um, have you thought things over?" asked Beast Boy.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"And, are you feeling a little better?" he asked.

"I guess," she said unsurely. "Can we talk inside?"

"Sure," he said and the two proceeded in. She led him over to the couch and the two sat down.

"Gar, do you really love me or are you confusing love with pity?" asked Raven frankly.

"I really love you, Rae," said Gar.

"How do you know?" she asked. "How can you tell that you love me?"

"I just… feel it," said Beast Boy.

"That doesn't help me," said Raven. "I need to know what you feel."

"Well, when I see you I get this warm feeling all over me that makes me feel jittery and nervous," said Beast Boy. "And whenever you're near I can feel my face automatically stretch into a smile that I can't get rid of. And… and when I think about the future I can't picture it without you. That's why I don't want you to leave, because I see you always living here with me."

"Really?" asked Raven.

"Yeah, really," said Beast Boy, taking her hands.

Raven was looking deep into his eyes that resembled a lush forest. She wasn't sure what to think anymore and she wasn't sure about her feelings for him, still. She just wasn't sure about what she was feeling and wished there was some test that could tell her if she loved him or not. Well, she had taken a test out of a magazine, but she didn't think that counted. But it had said that she loved him. God, her mind was being torn in every direction. Finally she pulled her eyes away from him and looked to the floor.

"Raven, have you ever been kissed before?" asked Beast Boy.

Raven looked up at him in shock and her mouth slightly opened, as if she was going to say something. She felt Beast Boy hold her hands a little tighter and her heart raced. She looked at him dumbly and shook her head no.

"Why not?" asked Beast Boy.

After short pause Raven finally found her voice. "Because no one's ever wanted to," she said in a small voice that barely sounded like her.

"I want to," he whispered and slowly leaned in.

Raven only had enough time to silently gasp and close her eyes as Beast Boy placed his lips upon hers. All of her fears and worries, all of the confusion, was wiped out in that one simple action. She felt her whole face heat up and it quickly spread to her lips, making them tingle against Beast Boy's.

Slowly he pulled back to look at her, to see what her reaction was. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him like she had never looked at him before. Her lips were slightly apart and she was just staring at Beast Boy with partial shock. Beast Boy wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing.

"How…" he started, but he was unable to finish. Raven had leaned over and captured his lips into a kiss that sent shivers throughout Beast Boys body and made his lips feel like they were blistering with passion. He closed his eyes and accepted her kissing him.

Raven could feel herself somehow changing again. She was becoming addicted to this whole kissing business. For every kiss she received, she asked for two more. And for those two she asked for four more, and so on and so on. She reached her arms around his neck, instinctively, and pulled herself right up to his chest. Beast Boy snaked his hands around her waist and held her in place.

Finally they broke for air and were staring into each other's eyes. They were both shaking from the adrenaline flowing through them and the lack of oxygen. Beast Boy slowly lifted his hand up to her face and pushed a strand of her violet hair out of her face, then cupped her cheek. Now he could finish his thought from before.

"How was that for a first kiss?" he asked with a small smile.

"I… I don't know," said Raven, feeling a little light headed. "Is it good if I feel like I'm going to pass out?"

Beast Boy let out a soft chuckle and said, "Yes, it's very good." He leaned in and kissed her again. Their lips seemed to be magnetized to each other and it was always hard to pull them apart. But he did succeed and he lovingly looked at her again.

Raven wasn't sure what to think now. She definitely liked kissing him, so did that mean she loved him? No. No, this wasn't love, this was lust. She was in lust with him, which was never a good thing. She couldn't let this go any farther. She retracted her arms from around his neck and pulled away from him, to Beast Boy's displeasure.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I… we… we can't do this," she said and then phased through the couch and teleported to her room.

She sat on her bed, touching her still burning lips. Her heart was still racing and her mind was a flutter of different thoughts and feelings. Her room was full of activity and most of her possessions were being rearranged, but she really didn't care. She had to figure out where to go from here.

Beast Boy wasn't sure why Raven had left so suddenly. He thought she had enjoyed the kiss. So why was she so upset? Actually, she seemed scared. But why? He had to know, he had to talk to her. He quickly ran upstairs and knocked on her door.

"Gar, I need to think and be alone," she called to him.

"No, Rae, we need to talk," he said knocking on her door again.

"Can't you ever do what I ask?" she asked feeling very frustrated.

"No," he said and attempted to open her door, but she quickly locked it with her mind. "Come on, we have to talk about this. You don't have to be scared about the way you feel, it's okay."

"No it's not," said Raven.

"Yes it is," said Beast Boy. "I feel the same way about you, so it's okay."

"Gar, I don't love you," said Raven.

"Then why did you kiss me like that?" he asked.

"Because… I don't know," she said. "Because I'm attracted to you, that's all. It has nothing to do with love. And I don't want to lead you on, thinking that I love you when all I want to do is… oh just go away!"

Her door became encased in her powers as a warning to Beast Boy. He slowly backed away and knew that he had better leave her alone for a while. He decided to go for a drive to get out all of his frustration. He knew that she would be leaving now. She wasn't one to put up with awkwardness, and after that kiss that's where they were going to be if they didn't pursue anything.

Raven lay down on her bed and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. She had to make sense of everything. But how could she? She still was helpless on the subject of love and feelings. She had to call Starfire again. She quickly grabbed her phone and dialed.

"Hello, this is Kori Anders soon to be Kori Grayson."

"Hi Kori," said Raven. "It's Raven again."

"Hello!" said Starfire. "Please, have you decided if you love Garfield or not?"

"No," sighed Raven on the verge of crying again.

"Friend, what has happened?" asked Starfire, hearing the despair in Ravens voice.

"Gar kissed me," said Raven. "And then I kissed him."

"Wonderful!" said Starfire.

"No, not wonderful," said Raven.

"Not wonderful?" asked Starfire. "Please, why is it not wonderful?"

"Because now I'm more confused than ever," said Raven. "I want to kiss him again, but I know that that's not love. Wanting to kiss someone is nothing but desire and lust. I don't know what to do now."

"Raven, you have all of the signs that you love Garfield," said Starfire. "Why do you not believe it?"

"I don't know," said Raven. "I just… I don't know."

"Perhaps if you said it aloud it may help you," said Starfire. "Say 'I love Garfield'."

"Do you really think it'll help?" asked Raven.

"It could not do the hurt," said Starfire.

"Fine," said Raven, sighing. She took in a big breath and said, "I… love… Gar."

"Yes, say it again!" said Starfire happily.

"I love Gar," said Raven again, really feeling the words roll around in her mouth.

"Again!" said Starfire.

"I love Gar," said Raven actually feeling the words pour from her. "I'm in love with Gar. I'm in love with Gar!" She clasped her hand over her mouth, after saying it quite loudly. Her heart was racing. She couldn't believe what she had just said.

And then it clicked. Everything clicked in her mind and she realized… she did love him. She felt comfortable with him, she trusted him, they never fought, they talked about their problems with each other, she found him attractive, he made her happy, he made her feel like the only person in the world, he was her best friend, and now that she was thinking about him she could feel a warmness pass over her and it was as if a static charge was sent through her.

"Oh my God," said Raven.

"Raven? Are you okay?" asked Starfire after Raven had taken such a long pause.

"I… I have to go," said Raven.

"Oh, well, call me if you are in need of the help again," said Starfire.

"I will," said Raven and she hung up.

She ran out of her room and called out for him. "Gar?" Her voice echoed through the house. She looked in his room quickly and saw that he wasn't there. She ran down the stairs and looked in the living room, but he wasn't there either. She looked through the entire house and then checked the driveway. His car was gone. He was gone. Now she had to wait until he got home to tell him.

Her whole body was shaking with excitement and various things in the house began to melt and move around. She decided to do a little meditating to calm her nerves down, and so the house wouldn't explode when she saw Beast Boy. She closed her eyes and sat beneath the skylight in the living room. She levitated into the air, once she closed the shades on the windows so the neighbors didn't see her, and began to chant her mantra.

She opened her eyes and saw that the sun had long since fallen from the sky and it was dark out. She looked at the clock and saw that she had been meditating for four hours. She stood up and looked to the driveway. His car was still not there.

"Where the hell is he?" she asked herself getting upset. "Here he wants me to tell him that I love him and I actually do and he's not here."

She sat down on the couch and her leg began to shake impatiently. She wished he had gotten a cell phone so she could call him, but he said they were nuisances. He never did like their communicators very much, so he had been very put off by mobile telephones.

Suddenly the phone rang and she gave a slight jump. She grabbed her chest, regaining her composure, and went to the ringing phone. She picked it up and sighed.

"Hello?" answered Raven.

"Hello, is this the home of Garfield Logan?"

"Yes," said Raven.

"Who am I speaking to?"

"I'm Raven, his… friend," said Raven.

"Well, this is Dr. Gibson and I'm sorry to tell you that your friend has been in an accident."

"An… accident? What kind of accident?" she asked, feeling her stomach flip.

"His car was hit by a drunk driver."

Raven felt her heart skip a beat. "Is he okay?" she asked.

"He's in critical condition right now. The driver who hit him we couldn't save."

This had to be a joke. This couldn't be real. It just… it couldn't be. "Is he going to be alright?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"I suggest you come down to Jump City Hospital."

"Jump City? Why's he all the way over there?" asked Raven, her head racing as well as her heart.

"We had to air lift him here. Can you give me any of his family information?"

"He doesn't have a family," said Raven. "I mean, um, his blood relatives are gone, I'm the closest thing he has to family."

"Then can you come down here as quickly as you can?"

"Is he going to be okay? He's going to okay, right?" asked Raven.

"I don't know, I just suggest you get down here as quickly as you can."

"Oh… okay," said Raven. "Thank you."

"I'll meet you when you get here." And with that the doctor hung up the phone.

Her grip on her own phone slowly loosened and then dropped from her hand, which went up to her mouth. Her eyes were wide with shock and she had to hold herself up on the wall. Her mind was spinning and she couldn't take it. Everything in the whole house began to shake and move around. Raven didn't have the time or patience to put her emotions back in order. She had to somehow get to the hospital. She decided that this was an emergency and she needed to use her powers.