The Shadow
The Sandhog Murders

Preshow:

The twins had given up on the table acting as a decent barrier. After the post show of the previous episode, they decided to do things a little differently. So they picked the Sandhog Murders episode with those changes in mind. Of course, those changes were completely twisted and wrong, much like the End of Evangelion giving the viewers what they wanted in the most deranged way possible. Anyway, they had figured the table wouldn't be enough, so this time when they sat on stage waiting for the fiasco that was about to occur with out and out medieval shields.

"Will they be mad or happy?" Image asked.

"You want to guess?" Mirror replied.

Well, as it happened the first one to barge in was Jiro. His face was a mixture of happiness and scorn.

"What are you both on?" he demanded.

Mirror and Image tried to look innocent. "Whatever do you mean?"

An eyebrow twitched. "Look, I'm grateful you finally decided to NOT make me a villain. I appreciate you finally noticing my talent for acting."

Someone snickered.

"But why the HELL do I have such a small part?" he demanded. "I only get two scenes and barely any dialog! It's reminiscent to that Pain guy in the first episode! I'm too good for a role like that!"

The twins looked at each other, apparently debating on who would explain this to him.

Mirror finally looked up. "Think of it this way. You're expanding your role by playing parts that have nothing to do with your character. It gives you a more rounded acting experience."

"Experience nothing!" Jiro shouted. "I want a more demanding role!"

"What could be more demanding than trying to restrain yourself and playing a meek character?" Image asked.

The white haired Jiro was thiiiiiiis close to blowing up, but he didn't have the opportunity because the snake eyed Naotoki barged in.

"What are you both on?" he demanded.

"Jiro-chan already asked us that," Image said, smirking as the aforementioned man seethed.

"I'm a cripple! I'm Japanese, how am I supposed to do a Russian accent? I though the US and Russia were enemies! Didn't you torture me enough in that boat episode? And why the hell am I-"

"Woah, woah, woah!" The twins were holding their shields defensively. "First off, the United States and Russia didn't really become all hateful to each other until World War II. Actually, it was after World War II, when Russia, er the Soviet Union, or whatever, refused to give up their satellite countries as a buffer for another invasion. Us uppity Americans thought that because of that, Russia might try to take over the world won day or something, so we made them the Axis of Evil and stupid stuff like that. This episode, well, I don't know when it takes place, but it was well before all that."

Everyone balked and gaped at Image.

"What?" she asked innocently.

Jiro and Naotoki sighed, resigned to their fates, and left. The next to burst in was Kayura. She all but stormed in, her ancient power swirling around her as the approached the two directors with hateful eyes.

"Who wrote this piece of junk?" she demanded.

"Not us," Mirror said defensively. "We already told you, we just take the episodes and put you guys in the roles."

"I'm a complete air bubble in this episode!" she cried out. "Why, oh WHY did you put me un such a stupid role? This ditz can't make a one word sentence without someone helping her. No wonder they have a stereotype about blond bimbos, she probably was one!"

Image stood up, clearly mad. She still had her shield in front of her, though. "Now, look. This show didn't take place in the modern world, alright? Woman's right and activism had only just barely managed to get us to vote. I know Margo Lane is a bit flighty, but she's a lot better that some of the female roles out there at the time. Her… idiosyncrasies only happen when it's convenient for the writer. There were some roles out there that made complete fools of women, just to make the men laugh."

Mirror had a lot more to say. "We were just seen differently in those days. Women were still barefoot and pregnant. We did the menial work to help our men fight the war for the simple reason that we have more dexterity. We were in charge of the house and the men were in charge of the world. My thesis is about women in computer science. I could give you a whole crapload of statistics about how things have changed over the years, but I don't want to bore you. You'll play the role, Kayura. Do you understand?"

Kayura, shocked by the strong reaction, backed away involuntarily. No one ever managed to get the twins more than annoyed. This was mad. Kayura wasn't about to have the twins direct the anger on her, so she quietly backed off. She still didn't like the role, though.

The twins, meanwhile, sat back in their director's chairs and breathed a sigh of relief. "It worked," Mirror said.

"I was scared for a second that we really would have to get mad before she'd believe us."

Further comment was cast aside as the scarred Kujuurou, his face oddly red, stormed onto the stage. "What the hell kind of episode is this?" he demanded.

"Do you not like it?" Mirror asked.

"Did the writers not have enough ideas or something? There's a good five minutes of romance in this episode!"

"You don't like that?" Image asked.

"What in hell makes you think I have anything nice to say to KAYURA? That little brat shows us up every chance she gets, and I have to say stuff like, 'I just want you to know I was right about you,' or 'And what a pretty face it is.' Hell, I have to fess up to being a boar to her! What kind of plot is that?"

"Is that why you're blushing?" Mirror asked. This only caused Kujuurou to turn redder.

"Come on," Image said lightly. "It's not like you're declaring your love or anything. You don't even kiss. You just say a few nice mushy statements. It's not like this is a fanfic or anything."

"It IS a fanfic! We're in it, aren't we?"

"That's beside the point," Mirror said, grinning. "It's all harmless. Surely the big bad bearer of the Yami yoroi can handle a few gushy statements?"

Pinned down by his ego, the blue haired Kujuurou hung his head in defeat. He decided not to even mention his complaint about Lamont Cranston giving up and resigning himself to dying and then suddenly wanting to live in the span of moments. He didn't even want to think about how the twins would weasel him into that one.

Sandhog Murders

The organ produced its deafening chords, signaling the start of the show. The sound guy tried to lessen the noise by making the chords lower. This only succeeded in making the audience vibrate even more. Still, they waited for the now familiar chilling laugh of the Shadow.

"Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Ryo's voice followed. "These dramatizations are designed to demonstrate forcible to old and young alike, that crime does not pay." He paused, letting the new line sink in, before he continued on as normal. "The Shadow, mysterious character who aids the forces of law, and order, is in reality Cale Sasaki, wealthy young man about town. Sasaki's constant friend and companion, the lovely Lady Kayura, is the only person who knows to whom the mysterious voice of the Shadow belongs. Today's adventure: 'The Sandhog Murders'."

Ryo debated on the commercial idea; but he got along fine without it in the previous episode, so he skipped it again and let the film fade into the opening shot.

The scene opened up to a rather ugly view. Machinery was bringing dirt out of some sort of muddy sinkhole, its smoke stacks pouring out inky clouds of residue. The camera stayed on this shot for some time.

The audience started to look to each other, wondering if something was supposed to happen. In fact, they started to chat amongst themselves.

"What?" Ryo's voice carried over the crowd, "I have more narrative?"

Ah well. At least he realized it.

Clearing his throat, the narrator started to narrate again. "Sandhogs. Workers who put their lives on the line every day as they toil underground to dig tunnels. Here, one hundred feet below the heavy water that presses down on them, the workers must always go through compression and decompression in order to survive."

Narrating finished, Ryo let out a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, since Ryo's job had been done, the camera zoomed in and cut to see Dr. Koji leading a large troop of tin soldiers toward the decompression chamber.

"Hey! Sanada!" Dr. Kojo called out. "Don't want to get left behind do you?"

"No," Ryo replied, jogging to the chamber. "I was just feeling a little weird here. My ears are ringing."

Dr. Koji nodded his head in the way of a wise professor about to teach his student. "Have you ever heard of the bends?"

"Sorta. That's related with deep sea diving, isn't it?"

"Not exactly. The bends is when you start to get air bubbles in your bloodstream. The bubbles enter your bloodstream when there is a great deal of pressure around you. For example, when diving in the deep sea, then you have more and more water above you. When you have all the weight on you, your body adjusts. Then, if you go up and depressurize too quickly, the air in your body expands too quickly, and you could likely kill yourself."

"So that's why we go through both compression and decompression. To make sure our bodies have time to adjust to the pressure," Ryo summed up.

"Correct."

"But my ears are still ringing. And my head is starting to hurt."

Dr. Koji looked to the pressure gauge, wiping sweat from his brow. "What? The pressure is decreasing too quickly!"

Those poor unfortunate people in the decompression chamber started to cough and hack. They were having a great deal of trouble breathing.

"Help!"

The organ blasted its low somber tones.

The new scene opened to a 1930s car, carrying Cale and Kayura, over an obviously matted background. Evidently the twins were going more for accuracy with the time period instead of realism. One wonders if the pics will end up being black and white or not as the story progresses.

Anyway, Kayura was driving the car (thankfully, the cabbie Sekky was unavailable).

"Hey!" someone off stage hissed.

ANYWAY! Kayura was driving, thanking her lucky stars that their snake of a driver wasn't in this episode.

"I can hear you, you know!"

Kayura. Was. Driving. And. Glad. She. Was. Doing. So. And. Not. Sekky.

"Stop talking like I'm not here!"

Several loud thuds were heard offstage.

Maybe now I can continue uninterrupted.

The nerve.

Kayura, however, jumped in. I'll never get to describe what's going on, am I?

"I can't believe this Margo Lane." Evidently she was still fuming from the preshow. "The writers simply can't make up their minds on her. One season, she's actually smart enough to rival Lamont Cranston, the next, she's a bimbo. I get what the twins were saying about perceptions being different, but this is ridiculous!" And so Kayura continued on. She also had a lot to say about how, while it was fine for Margo Lane and Lamont Cranston to have an undefined relationship that was quite obviously love, her and Cale were a different story.

"Don't those twins understand that when writing fanfiction, readers jump to conclusions? If they hook us up like Margo and Lamont, the readers will think that the twins believe you and me to be a couple, even though they don't. People will begin to write their own fanfiction about you and me, even though we're not a couple. Are those twins insane!"

Poor Cale. He endured this long tirade, though he was focused more on the little booklet in his hand. Evidently he was trying to know his lines before his scenes. How interesting. He just may be an actor yet.

"Cale, are you even listening to me?"

"Hm?"

Kayura spoke a few words that don't really bear repeating. She was not in a good mood, and it didn't look like it was going to improve over the episode. A mad Kayura is not a good Kayura.

Cale rubbed his head from where the Ancient's staff had made an impression. "Sorry Kayura," he apologized. That earned a quick healing. "My lines say that I'm supposed to be concerned over my 'good friend' Rajura. He's supposed to be in some sort of trouble-"

"Big surprise," Kayura muttered darkly.

"-with his business the 'New Inter City Tunnel'. It appears he's been having quite a few accidents on his job. He's also supposed to be some sort of 'school' chum of mine. Is everyone I deal with an old friend or schoolmate? Just what kind of life does this Lamont Cranston have? He doesn't seem to actually hold a job, yet he spends money all the time. Yet he still manages to spend all his time with Margo Lane, even though she doesn't know all these old friends of his. Just how old is he anyway? And they're not married? One of the tapes the twins lent me had him looking for an apartment for her. Just what kind of life do they lead?"

Woah. Cale spoke. A lot. The twins stared at him. Kayura stared at him. The camera stared at him. The audience stared at him. Particularly Cale fans.

Cale let out a long sigh, hiding his blush under his fedora as he buried himself in his seat. "So I guess we have to visit this 'old friend' of mine," he mumbled.

The organ let its existence be known.

Rajura's office was tiny. And hot. And dirty. But what did one expect from a hands-on boss of a bunch of sandhogs?

Rajura plainly didn't like this however. Neither did Cale and Kayura. They moved very little for fear of touching the dirt. Kayura didn't mind the heat, because she had taken steps to make sure she wasn't sweating. This meant the shakujo that made such a nice blunt object when she wanted to hit someone. This of course left the men to sweat it out.

Not that the audience minded.

Rajura had his white hair pulled back, a drool worthy idea if ever there was one, and his shirt's sleeves were rolled up as he played with his suspenders. Cale had all his outer layers flung over an arm and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt. Another droll worthy moment.

The camera done with it's panning of the scene, the sound guy kicked up the volume, letting the conversation filter into the theatre.

"Well, I just can't take this kind of thing," Rajura said through clenched teeth. "I never wanted this business in the first place," he flashed a pained look to the camera. Fans swooned. "I only took it because dad died. But I've had it! Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. From broken pipes to loose gears to a busted elevator; I have to have a mechanic look over everything every day. Well, I'm done. Hashiba Touma can have it.

Cale raised and eyebrow, a feat he was getting very good at, and glanced at his booklet. "What does this Hashiba have to do with anything?" he asked.

"He…" Rajura clenched his jaw, forcing the words out. "He feels sorry for me. He's offered to… buy me out."

That wasn't so hard, now, was it?

Rajura glared at the camera, but continued in a strained voice. "I'm going to let him buy up. I'm not… I'm not… I'm not up for this kind of… responsibility."

Cale and Kayura both grinned devilishly. "Of course you're not," Kayura said easily. Cale coughed slightly, the noise "weak boy" filtering under his breath.

The wolfish grin still on his face, Cale put a comforting hand on Rajura. "Don't worry, Raj-kun. I'll look into it for you. In fact, why don't I handle the entire matter myself so you won't have to have so much responsibility on you. Of course, if anything happens to me, you'll be solely to blame, but I'm sure nothing will happen. Ne?"

Rajura continued to glare as the blue haired couple continued to live it up. This went on for several minutes, until all three of them glanced off camera. The twins were giving directions, since they were the directors, and then a green haired man hobble onto the set.

"Ah!" Rajura said slowly. "Cale, Lady Kayura, I'd like you to meet, er, Old Pop Naaza. He's been with the business since the beginning. He knows more about this stuff than anyone. You can talk while I go see to the, uh, men."

Rajura quickly got the heck out of there. Some muffled curses directed presumably towards the twins were heard, followed quickly by a swatting sound, and then silence.

Pop Naaza, Cale, and Kayura all gulped audibly as they stared off camera.

Naaza recovered first. "So, what can I do for you?" he asked. There was no trace of a Russian accent in his voice. Ah, well, nothing's perfect.

Kayura picked up next. "Well, what do you think of those eight men dying in the decompression chamber?"

"It was no accident," Pop Naaza said bitterly.

"Why not?" Cale asked, finally pulling away from whatever he was looking at off camera.

"It wasn't. Decompression doesn't accidentally break down. Rajura told you he's hired a mechanic?"

"Yes."

"He checks every day. It works every day. Things don't break that quickly."

"Your suggesting sabotage, then?" Kayura asked. Cale threw here a look. Apparently, she had taken his line. She just sniffed and focused on Naaza. "Right?"

"You didn't here this from me," the snake eyed worker said in a conspiratorially soft voice. "But if you want to know why decompression broke, you talk to Hashiba Touma."

"You're insinuating that Hashiba deliberately killed those eight men," Cale said quickly, beating out Kayura. She made a face.

Pop Naaza shrugged. "Is competitive business. Companies make bid on a project, only one gets it. It can make other businesses mad."

"I see," Kayura and Cale said simultaneously. They glared at each other. "Call us if you see anything!" they shouted, still trying to beat each other out. Pop Naaza took it all in stride, the faintest hints of a grin playing on his face.

"I'll do that," he said lightly. He hobbled off, going back to work.

"Why the hell are you taking all my lines?" Cale demanded.

"I refuse to play Margo Lane as a complete ditz! She's going to have a meaty part other than being a plot device."

"That's fine, but at another character's expense? I'm the one who's supposed to jump to conclusions and go out as the Shadow. The Shadow isn't a girl."

"Well he should be!" Kayura shouted.

"Do you honestly think the twins will let you get away with this?" he demanded.

Kayura froze; her face gong white.

Cale muttered something in Japanese and took a breath, glancing at his booklet. "Well, I suppose that this Hashiba Touma will receive a little visit. From the Shadow."

Kayura opened her mouth to make a comment, but whatever she said was cut off as the organ brought about his blaring chords.

Touma's office was much cleaner than Rajura's. So much so, the difference startled the audience. Where anyone in Rajura's office was afraid to move because of the dirt, anyone in Touma's office was afraid to move for fear of spreading dirt. Everything sparkled with the richness of the times. Oak paneling shined under the sun's rays, which was filtered through large arched windows that were spotless. The mahogany desk near the window was tidy, papers in neat stacks awaiting Touma's inspection.

Evidently the set designer seemed to favor Touma over Rajura. It seems Touma' fans won out in this scene.

"Hell yeah!" the aforementioned Touma fans in the audience shouted.

And in the middle of it all, sat Touma, looking utterly resigned to his fate. He preferred the bit roles that usually didn't have more than two sentences for him to say for a whole episode, if he even had to speak. Touma fans swooned at his expressions of angst. They so wanted to rush up and hug him.

Unfortunately, this is a Warlord fic. Tough tamales to them.

Ignoring all of this, the blue haired business man who'd rather be elsewhere picked up the phone.

"Yes? Yes. Of course. Naturally. I don't care how. I want it."

There he'd said the first of his lines. Unfortunately, his next set was longer.

But wait! Here comes the silky laugh of the Shadow! Everyone in the audience cheered.

"Hnhnhnhn," the Shadow chuckled.

The twins will never get tired of that laugh.

"What an interesting conversation," the unseen voice continued.

"Who's there?" Touma shouted, looking rather spooked. The poor thing. Nobody will ever figure out how we got the Shadow's voice into his scenes. Ever.

"I can't see you! Who are you!"

"I am," the Shadow paused for drama, "the Shadow. I would like to know more about that conversation." The voice turned hard. "Tell me."

"None of your business," Touma stated, sitting back in his chair. "I'm a businessman and I keep my business to myself."

"Are you sure?" the haunting voice intoned. "I understand that competition can drive a man under. Take the Inter City Tunnel, for example."

"What are you suggesting?" Touma continued to look around, wondering how the twins did it.

"The Inter City Tunnel has been plagued by convenient 'accidents'. If Rajura gives up the contract, it will benefit you."

"Psa," Touma made a noise of insignificance. "I feel bad for that kid Rajura. It's probably some sort of inside job."

"Really?" the Shadow mocked. "The workers rally around that 'kid'."

Several grumbles were heard offstage.

"Nobody ever said that sandhoggers were smart," Touma retorted.

The grumbles offstage increased in volume.

"I appreciate your time," the Shadow replied, his voice fading. "You had best watch your step around that tunnel, Touma. You just might fall in. Hahahahahahaha!"

Once more, the audience was resonated by the organ.

Cale, feeling supremely satisfied with himself, returned to the construction site with a smirk planted on his face. The audience was coming to love his facial expressions, whether they were in the script or not.

Said happy face wiped away very quickly, however, when he saw Kayura was already waiting for him.

Instead of a smirk, he balked.

"Took you long enough to get here," Kayura said in sweet tones, trying to look bubbly.

"What are YOU doing here?" he demanded. He actually sounded sincere! Yay!

"I called." The scarred Cale looked over to see Old Pop Naaza sitting with Kayura. Apparently they had been playing cards. "Didn't want to do anything till you got here."

"The old man doesn't think a woman can handle this by herself," Kayura sniffed. "We have to wait for the big hero to come and save the day?"

"Huh?" was about all Cale could manage.

"Y'both said to call when somethin' happened," Naaza replied easily. He got up and limped over to what looked like an elevator. "I got here tonight, and the elevator was at the bottom. That means someone's down there. So I called."

"Uh… right," Cale stuttered, trying to regain himself. "Good job, Pop."

"Good job nothing!" Kayura cried out. "I've been waiting for you for over two hours. Where the hell have you been?"

"Better watch that one," Naaza said, not afraid to improvise. "She's got on a mouth on her."

Cale smirked. "She does, indeed."

Fuming against her own volition, Kayura took several minutes before anything coherent could come out of her mouth. She then whacked the two squarely on their heads with the Ancient's staff and stomped over to the elevator. "Come, on! Let's go!"

After checking that neither man had a concussion, they hesitantly went into the elevator. Naaza explained, much like Koji had previously, why compression and decompression was necessary. When they reached the bottom, Naaza made the pair wear boots, as it was muddy one hundred feet under a river. Carefully, the couple walked out onto the gangplanks.

"We are not a couple!" Cale shouted.

Sure you're not. You just play one for this episode.

"When I get my hands on those twins…" Kayura muttered. Apparently she didn't like the idea of saying nice things to Cale either.

Setting her jaw, Kayura put on her girly voice. "Wow! It's so dark down here!"

"I like it dark," Cale replied.

"Good idea," said Pop Naaza, ignoring that Cale had said the wrong lines. "The light switch is right here." There was a clicking noise, and several lamps along the ceiling lit up, giving a misty light to the tunnel.

The tunnel itself was at least thirty feet tall and perhaps fifty wide. Pipes, gangplanks, scaffold, and mud was everywhere. The place looked very reminiscent to Rajura's office.

"Shut up!"

Kayura charged forward, determined to prove that Margo Lane didn't have to be a ditz. Cale treaded behind her more cautiously. Naaza stayed behind.

"I'll guard here," he said smoothly. "Don't want the person down here to escape."

Cale suddenly looked at Naaza, his face unreadable, but nodded. "Good idea." Audience members wondered what the look was for.

Anyway, not about to get an answer from the screen, they continued to watch as Cale and Kayura ventured further into the dimly lit tunnel.

"Hellooooooooo!" Kayura called out, her voice echoing off the rounded walls. "Come out; come out, wherever you are!"

"That's real mature," a certain male lead muttered. The staff swung at him again, but he smartly ducked. "That's even more mature," he said.

"Shut up. Like whining is going to do you any good."

"Like stealing my lines to make yourself look better did you any good."

The shakujo swung again. Cale ducked again, but not low enough. Clipped in the back, Cale stumbled over and landed in the ever present mud. The audience was torn between being shocked and laughing their butts off. Only when Cale stood up, his topcoat and fedora dirtied beyond recognition and his face a now lively brown, did everyone burst out laughing. Kayura was included in this statement, unable to control herself as she wandered somewhere between giggling and guffawing. Cale replied by slinging a fistful of mud at her; but Kayura simply dodged it.

He was about to fling another slop of mud when the two heard a cry coming from back where they'd come.

"Naaza?" Kayura questioned. "Naaza!"

Silence.

The pair dashed back to the elevator, Cale slightly behind as he kept slipping in the mud.

They arrived at the elevator too late. It was already heading up, taking with it their only means to get out. Then, just to annoy them, the lights turned off. Cale was unperturbed by it, but Kayura was left furious. The camera could still see them, if barely, as Kayura tried to feel her way to Cale and Cale pointedly avoided her.

"Damn it! Where are you, night boy?"

"I'm right here. It's not my fault you keep missing me."

"Yes it is you jerk!"

"How would you know?"

Any comment Kayura might have had was cut off as there came a ringing noise. Cale looked around momentarily before he calmly walked over to a call box and picked up the receiver.

"Yes?"

"Hmhmhmhehehehahahahahaaaaaa."

Cale bit his lip about the laugh being his line. The Shadow identity was supposed to be a secret, after all. "Who is this?" he demanded instead.

"You honestly think I'm going to tell you?" the voice replied. "You seem to have a very bad habit of sticking you nose in where it doesn't belong, Sasaki. So now, you die."

Cale blinked. "I what?"

"You die. You see, I'm talking to you from the compression control center. I'm about to rise the pressure up and up, until the tunnel can no longer take it. It will collapse, and several million gallons of water will wash away your corpses. It will be just another accident, another tragic accident. Heheheheheheheh. Hahahahahahahaa!" The phone clicked, ending the conversation.

"Bastard," Cale muttered as he slammed the phone down.

"What? What?" Kayura demanded. She had only heard Cale's articulate side of the conversation.

"Oh, nothing much. The bad guy is just going to raise the pressure of the tunnel until it collapses on us. One of those many death traps that bad guy's on this show loves pulling. I mean, why do something tried and true to work when they can get creative and increase the chances of escape."

"Well, if chances are increased for getting out of here," Kayura said, "then let's do so." She calmly called forth her magic and started floating around the tunnel, looking for a means of escape.

Cale smirked, grateful that the "romance" scene was completely skipped. Then he realized that he had been left to look around on the mud. A scowl crossed his face as he trudged off to look for a way out.

Before he could get far, however, Kayura floated down to him.

"What are you doing? I already found a way out."

"Thank you so much for informing me," Cale replied sarcastically. "Where is it?"

"Up there," Kayura said, pointing upward. "There's an escape route that idiot of a bad guy completely forgot about. Climb the scaffold up there and life will be good." She floated up to where she had pointed.

Cale muttered something under his breath, and stomped over to the indicated scaffold, climbing it slowly. By the time he made his way to the escape route, he noticed he was a little light headed, but thought nothing of it as he climbed up.

After the hatch closed, and the pressure continued to rise until, as the man on the call box had said, the pressure gave in and the tunnel flooded, completely collapsing.

The organ blared, announcing the end of the scene, and Ryo's voice came up. "My, my, it looks like Sasaki and Lady Kayura are in quite a predicament! How will they escape? Er, I mean, will the mysterious saboteur have taken the escape route into account? What will happen to our hero?"

"Heroes!" Kayura shouted faintly.

"And now," Ryo said. "Back to the Shadow."

So much for commercials. I think we're giving up on them entirely.

The scene reopened to Rajura and Commissioner Doji in Rajura's icky office. Actually, the camera zoomed in to see that the office seemed to be a vast improvement to what it was last time. In fact, it was clean. While hardly the sparkling splendor or Touma's office, it was tidy enough and clean enough for the two aforementioned men to be sitting down and having a cup of tea.

Sigh. So much for Rajura being an "on-hands" sandhog.

"Shut. Up." Rajura bit out.

Anyway, Rajura and Doji were having a nice cup of tea in the office. Hold on a second. The camera zoomed in to Doji. Doji's ever-present popping vein was gone. Very odd. The commissioner, you see, is a very difficult job. He's the top dog of the police, seconded only to the mayor. Because of that, when the police get a bad name, the commissioner gets a bad name. If the commissioner gets a bad name, the mayor gets a bad name. If the mayor gets a bad name, he puts pressure on the commissioner. If the commissioner has a bad name, the press puts pressure on him. If the commissioner's underlings are idiots, he's left very frustrated. Such is the case of commissioner Doji, and in order to cope, he has an ever-present vein popping out of his head to show everyone his displeasure.

It is conspicuously absent.

My, how very interesting, why ---

"I couldn't believe the papers this morning," Doji interrupted.

How rude. Fine, I'll let them do all the description for the scene. See if I care.

"Just let us say our lines and be done with it!" the one-eyed man shouted.

Hmph.

With that taken care of, Rajura turned back to Doji. "I know. I can't believe they were killed last night."

"Yes," Doji agreed, sipping his tea. "Just think, they won't take up the spotlight anymore and we'll actually have to take over in their roles."

Rajura beamed. "I like the sound of that. I always knew I was too good an actor for the stuff the twins put me in."

Doji's vein popped and pulsed briefly before fading away. "Heaven forbid that the twins realize that Commissioner Weston might have actually had some brains instead of being a bumbling idiot."

"It will be awfully nice to not have to play the villain."

"At least you didn't get cast into particular roles. I'm stuck as Weston in every episode he's in. Naotoki is permanently the dumb cabbie Shrevie if he's in the episode. At least you get variety."

"Like being the villain is variety."

Hello! You're supposed to be grieving! Get back to the scripts.

"Yes mother," one of them muttered.

What was that?

Rajura put on his best "sad face" and turned back to Doji. "Poor Cale and Kayura," he said in exaggerated tones of grief. "It's all my fault!" He's overacting again. "Cale just wanted to help me. He didn't want me to quit the sandhog business!"

A little sincerity please?

"Well I won't quit now! Such a small accident as loosing your entire job didn't stop my father, so it won't stop me! I'll keep going! For their sake and their sake alone!"

Oh god he's getting into the role.

"I will continue to suffer through this business that I didn't want! I will strive to get a clean office and start to bring in the real money! I will become a success and put Cale and Kayura's ghosts to shame with it! They will not have died in vain! They are the push I need to do what I never wanted to do! And that is--"

"To shut up," Doji roared, his vein pulsating. He pulled out a hammer and pummeled Rajura into the ground.

Thank you.

"You're welcome."

"Itai..." came from the floor. Rajura got up, dusting himself off. "Anyway, I'll go rally my men. We'll keep going forward, no matter how many of us die."

The door shut behind him and Doji went about enjoying the quiet and his cup of tea. The twins had a good idea for props. He liked the tea. He'd have to compliment the chef.

Somewhere off stage, Cye's voice filtered up. "Thank you."

Then again, if it was one of his enemies, he'd have to withdraw the compliment.

"Hmph."

As Doji relaxed, glad that the mayor and the press and the idiots under him weren't bothering him, he silently wished that Cale and Kayura would come knocking and start to bug him about something.

"I'm what?" Doji asked.

Ahem. Anyway, after Doji was finished with his tea, he got up and headed out of the office. After all, he wasn't here to enjoy himself. He was here on business. He had to inspect the place and figure out how the river ended up leaking into the tunnel while Cale and Kayura were in there. After all, he was the top policeman. Why should he have underlings do work when his job was to deal with the press? No, he also had to investigate like a detective who was much lower on the food chain.

"Commissioner."

Doji jumped against his will, startled by the silky voice that he knew too well. The audience cheered.

"What do you want, Shadow?" Doji asked, not bothering to look around. Supposedly, he'd had enough dealings with the Shadow to know not to bother looking. Of course, like everyone else on the cast, he had yet to figure out how the twins got the voice into the scenes.

"To catch a murderer," the chilling voice replied.

"Oh. Really?" Doji let the sarcasm drip from his voice. He was top cop and he would never be as smart as the Shadow. Really. This was something to be proud of. Honestly.

"Rajura has gone down to the tunnels, has he not?" the sinfully sexy voice asked.

"Yes. What's that got to do with anything?" Why was Doji always left out of the loop?

"The murderer has been waiting for this opportunity. For now, the one person he has wanted to kill will be in an 'accident-prone' area," the Shadow supplied. How many people in the audience know who the bad guy is by now, I wonder. Oh the joys of being an omnipotent writer.

"So the killer will come and break these pumps and kill everyone below," Doji summarized.

"Precisely." Doji felt a grip on his arm as the Shadow pulled him into the shadows. "We can wait here for the assassin."

Doji didn't say anything as he crouched behind the machinery that sandhogs required. It didn't take long before footsteps were heard heading toward them.

"Son of a bitch," a voice hissed. "You'll pay for what your father did to me." The footsteps continued to limp toward them.

Is that enough of a hint?

"Just because of a sandhog accident stole my leg I wasn't the next in line. No, you had to give it to that brat Rajura. I know more about this business that the brat of a son you had."

"That would be a convincing motive, would it not?" the Shadow whispered to Doji.

"Indeed," the commissioner replied, his vein starting to pop again in a more normal fashion. "He has means, motive, and he's showing us his opportunity. I think I'll nail him."

Old pop Naaza limped around the corner, a heavy mallet in his hand. "Join Cale and Kayura, you little upstart of a job stealer!" He hefted up the hammer and aimed at the delicate machinery. Thankfully, Doji was right behind him. The hammer didn't fall onto the machinery, but instead, on to Naaza's good foot.

Oh well. So much for seriousness. This is turning into slapstick.

Doji, however, was impressed with Naaza's acting. It looked like the hammer had really hurt him. Well, he wasn't one to complain. Criminal caught. He's done. Time for the organ.

Doji was hoping his role was done for the episode. But alas, no. He had more and he didn't know what his lines were to boot. The twins were incredibly cruel sometimes.

Hey!

Anyway, Doji was in his office, sorting through paperwork in a vain attempted to look busy. Maybe if he was occupied enough, he could get out of this scene. Maybe. He could hope.

Knock, knock.

Oh well.

"Come in," he growled, his vein's pulsing increasing. The door opened and Doji did not look up. He was supposed to be busy. The door shut and the audience watched Doji go through paperwork for several minutes. It was boring. The audience wanted to see who had come into Doji's office. They had a rough idea who, but they wanted conformation.

More paperwork.

More silence.

"Argh, fine." Doji looked up saw who it was and fell out of his chair.

Standing in front of him, smiling evilly was none other than Cale and Kayura.

"YOU'RE ALIVE?"

"No need to shout, Commissioner," Cale calmly said, his grin widening.

"I found an escape tunnel that Naaza didn't think of," Kayura stated triumphantly.

"Besides," they said together, "we had to put you and the others in your place."

The screen faded to black, as the organ boomed over the audience. An eerie voice, low and sexy, laughed menacingly. "The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay. The Shadow knows, hahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Ryo's voice came next. "Wow! What an exciting episode of the Shadow. Please tune in next week, same time, same station for, the Shadow!"

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