Crazy trouble with love part 9
Sphinx and Spike
Series: My Little Pony
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Saddle Arabia, a community of ponies found somewhere in the desert.
Spike, Twilight Sparkle's royal advisor, Twilight Sparkle's royal ambassador, one time Dragon Lord, Hero of the Crystal Empire, Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor's adoptive little brother, and a member of The Council of Friendship. His next trip for peace and friendship has taken him to this dry and humid part of Equestria.
And said place was already making him sweat as soon as he reached the outskirts.
'I'm a dragon, how is the heat making me sweat?!' The muscular dragon thought. 'I knew I should have brought something to drink.'
That's when he spotted a camel and a cactus.
"Hey there! Want some cactus juice? It's so quenching!"
"No thanks!"
"You sure? It's the quenchiest!"
"I'll take my chances with Horus!"
"Suit yourself!"
With that Spike headed off down a random street, taking in the sights and how much everything was so much different compared to Ponyville. "Wow, what's this?"
"Snake charming." Said the snake charmer.
"Cool." Said Spike. 'Kidding, Fluttershy could get the snake dancing without the flute.' He thought.
"Care to see how it's done?"
"Sure, why not?" Then he sat next to the snake charmer as he got another basket with another snake in it.
"Now watch closely." the pony closed his eyes and began to play the flute, a snake slowly rising up and dancing to the tune.
"Wow..." Spike commented. "Can I try?"
"Go ahead, I gotta break for some water."
"Sweet!" Spike then started playing the flute. A few sour notes at first but he later got the hang of it. Then he saw the snake come dancing out of the basket. 'Nice, I can add this to my list of sk-'
Then a loud thud slammed onto the sandy floor of Saddle Arabia! It made the snake hiss and go slithering off, making Spike stand up and look around as he saw ponies start screaming in panic as they ran by him. "Hey! Wait a minute! Hold on! WOAH THERE!" he finally cut one stallion off with his wings. "What's going on?"
"Death! Destruction! Doom! She's come back for us all!"
"I heard that Somnambula has returned, well guess what? So have I, and I am ready for a rematch!"
'Oh boy, that's a huge kitty.' Thought Spike, getting up.
The monster attacking resembled a giant lion looking body with the head of a pony! She crushed several carts with her paws, using her tail to knock over some of the buildings with a laugh. "Come out Somnambula! You got me before, but this time I'm back and want blood!" A burst of emerald came at her and she dodged it! "What in the!?"
"The next one won't miss!"
She turned, seeing Spike fly up near her face and scowled. "What's a dragon doing out here?"
"I am Spike, Royal Ambassador to Princess Twilight Sparkle, here to help spread the magic of friendship, and I just so happen to be close friends with a pony who carries Somnambula's will."
"A disciple of Somnambula exists in this era as well?"
"He means me!"
Pinkie Pie you're not in this chapter.
"Aw-man!"
"If you're on the side of that pony, then suffer!" the sphinx growled before swatting Spike into a building with a crash, making the dragon groan as his eyes rolled around in his head. The Sphinx let out a loud deep roar! Making the citizens of Saddle Arabia scatter.
"I warned you!" Then he shot a huge green fireball at the Sphinx!
"Gah!"
"Direct hit!"
She snarled and shook her head as he flew over her.
"Want another? I got plenty more where that came from." he boasted.
That's when the sphinx sprouted her wings and jumped! "You dare mock me child?!"
"You dare mock me child?!" Spike mocked.
She tried swiping at him with her claws! He crossed his arms to brace the impact, and got sent flying through a tree.
"Psh, that's the best you got? You gotta hit harder before a dragon can feel pain through these scales!"
"Don't mind if I do!" Then she started dive bombing!
"Bring it on!" Spike challenged, winding back a fist!
"Ah! She'll crash into the local orphanage!" A mare shouted!
'Oh crap, there's an orphanage behind me!?' he thought, wide eyed as the Sphinx opened her mouth.
'Dragon jerky with some foal side, delicious!' She thought.
But then she stopped moving as soon as Spike struck her with an uppercut! Slamming her jaws shut! She reeled back, falling on her back with a loud crash.
"Yeah! How'd you like that!"
Sphinx struggled to get on her feet. "You're tough despite not being as big as a regular dragon...but I'll be back!" Then she flew away!
The ponies cheered as they came out of their hiding places.
"Well done! You have saved us!"
"Not yet. When she comes back, I gotta show her friendship."
"Friendship? But she tried to ruin the town!"
"The Ruler of Equestria prefers the body count to friendship stay at 1 with King Sombra! And would like to turn as less stubborn creatures to stone as possible." he explained with his claws up. "It's worked alot more than you might think."
"She crushed all my produce! Is friendship going to bring them back?"
"No, but she'll crush tons more produce in the future if she isn't stopped!"
"I say we burn the beast!" cried one pony with a torch.
"Everyone, you really want me to get the princess here? I am the ambassador here and you're all being rude!"
"Y-you're an ambassador?"
"Yup, and personal advisor too." he smirked while puffing out his chest. "I even got the medal hanging around my neck to prove it."
"Oh, my mistake." Said a unicorn.
"Yes, my mistake as well." A pegasus added.
"Nah, it's no big deal."
Later we see Spike speaking with the Saddle Arabian delegates Amira and Haakim.
"And you're sure we can't just put a stone statue of her with Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow?" Asked Amira.
"Yes, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."
Both Amira and Haakim giggled at that.
"That's adorable."
"Yeah, blame my friend Pinkie."
"Well, you've convinced us, we'll leave this matter in your hands Spike, so for the time being, enjoy your stay at Saddle Arabia." Said Haakim. "Meeting adjourned."
The next day we see Spike touring the pyramid that the Sphinx used to live in...
He walked down the hall, using his flames to light up the way. "So this is where she used to dwell until Somnambula kicked her out huh?" he looked around, noting the hieroglyphs. "Man, this place could use a little dusting."
"That's a rude comment about someone else's house..." said a voice.
"Yeah, but I've got a LOT of years of housekeeping experience, so seeing filth just irks me a little. In Fact, during my sunday off, I was thinking of cleaning the entire castle I live at...wait...there shouldn't be anyone else here but me..." he trailed off, realizing there was a tomb not 10 feet away, making him wide eyed when he spotted the Sphinx laying in it with a glare at him. "YOU!"
"What are you doing in my home!?"
"It's old and abandoned, so it's open to exploration for the public." he remarked before taking a pose. "I should be asking why you're staying in an old dusty place like this."
"I've got some catching up to do after centuries of not attacking the weak ponies." She explained. "Besides, trying to find a spot that's just right and can keep me nice and warm all year is harder than it looks. I can't go in some cave that's for sure, the damp air is murder on my feathers."
"And you have a chance of getting attacked by a dragon!"
"Grr..."
"But how's about we not fight? I have a more peaceful idea of how to make you leave that town alone."
"What? Beg me?"
"No...I offer not my scaled fist, but a clawed hand in-"
"-marriage?"
"No! Friendship!"
"Friendship?" she raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding, right?"
"What's wrong? Nobody loves you?"
"Oh, fuck you!" she hissed. "I just don't see what the good 'friendship' will do! Especially when my old enemy had a hand in being involved with that stuff!"
"Hey! Pretty sure you were the stubborn bitch in that story, how about you try again?"
"Ha! What good can friendship be used for?"
"It has defeated powerful enemies. Ever heard of Tirek? He came back and lost to it. Ever heard of Discord? He came back and lost to it. Ever heard of King Sombra? Even he's lost to it."
"Hmph, I don't see your point. It's not like friendship has defeated the Storm King."
"I can call some former members of the deceased Storm King's army right now to prove you wrong!" he threw his arms up. "I mean my own sister is the princess of friendship, that should tell you something."
"Sister? There's 2 of you? Disgusting!"
"Wow, fine, be a lonely lump who nobody, not even the other evil creatures would wanna hang out with because of her attitude!"
"That's not true, I've made friends."
"Oh really? Name one!"
"Well there was this chimera, but then we had an argument and she kicked me out of the fire swamp..." she admitted making him raise an eyebrow. "But who needed her! Then there was a hydra, who I haven't seen for a while, but I'm sure he's fine! Then there's...um..." she trailed off with Spike smirking.
"You were saying?"
"Okay, let's be friends, but if it doesn't work, then please let your life be forfeit."
"Works for me." he shrugged and held out his claw, only for her law paw to grab it and shook him up and down in a handshake way. "Alright, now why don't we talk about our problems? Friends can share their problems with each other, when something's been really bugging them lately."
"Okay, my problem is you, you've been bugging me lately."
That's when Discord appeared with a whole bunch of teenaged ponies in jackets and hoodies all shouting "OOOOOOOOOOH!"
"AHH!" she jumped. "Who are you?! What are you doing in my home?!"
"That's my buddy Discord, he's the spirit of chaos itself."
"Wait...you're friends with THE Discord?!"
"Yeah, friendship worked on him and now he's dating a pegasus who can understand animals."
"I'm getting ready to propose to her."
"Nice!" Both fist bumped before Discord and his entourage disappeared!
The Sphinx went slack jawed at Spike before shaking her head. "Alright, I'll give it a try."
"Great, so next, friends sometimes can just enjoy each other's company as they tell each other stories. We all know how your battle of wits with Somnambula went, so how's about we hear about your travels?"
"Travels uh...I...don't think I've ever told anyone those."
"Meh, I get it. You got secrets you're not comfortable sharing. Good friends can back off until you're comfortable enough to tell."
"Friends are very understanding aren't they?"
"Trust me, when you deal with a unicorn for a sister who's obsessed with organizing books, you have no idea." he shook his head.
"A unicorn sister?"
"Raised by ponies." he clarified. "Princess of friendship."
"But I thought a princess had to be an alicorn."
"She went through a bunch of trials and then Princess Celestia turned her into an Alicorn."
"But I thought you had to be born one."
"Maybe they were born as alicorns but hey, Twilight is Princess Celestia's brightest student, so she found a way." he smiled. "She definitely earned it. You'd never find a more eager student. Kinda obsessive really."
She giggled from that remark.
"Hey you smiled." He joked.
"Backhanded compliments like that are kinda funny." she admitted with a shrug. "I'm not always all powerful and foreboding you know, I know how to appreciate jokes."
"So that's all I gotta say for Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship."
"So, what other stories can you tell me?"
"So as I've said, I'm friends with Somnambula's successor. Her name is Pinkie Pie, she's always ready for a party...except for recently..."
"Recently? What happened?"
"I got pregnant!" Said Pinkie Pie.
"Ah! Pinkie Pie, how'd you get here?"
"Spike, didn't anyone tell you not to scream next to a pregnant pony?" she frowned. "It can be bad for the unborn filly." she pointed to her slightly rounded belly.
"Uh...and how many ponies say that?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Science, just ask Twilight."
"So, you're the successor to Somnambula's will?"
"Yepperuni! I'm Pinkie Pie."
"Careful, pretty sure she has reality warping powers too, despite being an Earth Pony." Spike warned.
"How is that possible?"
"A secret I'll take to my grave, and a secret you'll take to your grave if you try digging any deeper." she narrowed her eyes while pointing at them with her hoof, than back to the Sphinx, before suddenly popping out of existence.
"What the?! How did she-"
"Even the smartest ponies in Equestria just gotta accept it."
"I hope that child doesn't inherit her powers." She said. 'My archenemy's successors are terrifying.'
"Trust me, an alicorn baby is dangerous, but a kid of Pinkie's? I'm not going near that." He shivered. "But there's also a student to Pinkie Pie, who also embodies laughter, a Hippogriff named Silvestream."
"You liar, the Hippogriffs all died out."
"No lie, they're still alive."
"What?"
"Yeah, we found where they went after the Storm King attacked them. Then after we killed the Storm King, they returned to their kingdom."
"...next you'll tell me those weird bug creatures are harmless."
"They are, after they were shown that they can live off their own self-love."
"Self love!?"
"All it takes is one, and I was the guy who helped the patient zero of this." he smirked with pride making her facepalm with a groan.
"Let me guess, next you'll say the dragons are all lovey dovey and hugging each other." she crossed her forelegs.
"Nope, but they do throw a lot of orgies." he chuckled.
"Wait, really?"
"Gotcha."
"Hmph."
"But they do have a more level headed leader that I am best pals with."
"Of course you are, lemme guess, you're the reason the Griffins have stopped being so greedy."
"Nah, their community is still crap, but they're gradually healing."
"Is there anything that's still crap from the old days?"
"Well...are there any other ancient evils we gotta watch out for? We've taken out Tirek and turns out Discord was Grogar in disguise for some reason."
"Discord was Grogar?!" her eyes widened. "But...But...how?!"
"He was in disguise as Grogar, so the actual Grogar didn't actually return."
"So then he's still alive?"
"I guess, and we'll be ready!" he declared firmly, making the large cat give a deadpanned look. "So, how's about we step out of here and spend some time...some not destructive time in town."
"Why would I do that when I can just smash the town?"
"Did you forget I'm friends with Discord, the Dragon Queen, the Changelings, the ruler of Equestria, Somnambula's descendant, etc, etc?"
"Oh, right...I suppose I cannot attack the town if you're threatening me with an army made of the whole world."
"Darn right."
"So, what do you have planned for our date?"
"Date? I was just taking you out on a platonic thing."
"Pla-what?"
"Platonic? Nothing romantic behind anything, just friendship."
"Seriously? You ask a girl as gorgeous as me to just spend time with you as friends?"
"I'm friends with this one gorgeous pony and even though I'm now...like this, a hot guy...she still doesn't wanna fuck me. So you're fine, I ain't gonna hit on you." Spike explained.
The Sphinx looked at Spike with a mix of surprise and disappointment in her thoughts. "Oh..."
"So you wanna go?"
"Yes, yes, I'm going." She replied. 'It has been a while since a guy did not try making a move on me...I bet he's trying to play hard to get, that's it! He's just putting me in a false sense of security.'
(Later)
We see Spike riding on top of the Sphinx.
"Aaaaah! It's the Sphinx!" The ponies panicked as they saw her!
"Easy everypony! You're not in danger!" he called down as the Sphinx landed.
"Oh, so you tamed her." Said an elderly pony. "My heart was about to give out."
"Nope, I have not tamed her."
"Oh, in that case, we're doomed!"
"Guys, calm down, she won't attack." He sighed getting off. "If she does, I'll kick her butt back in place."
The Sphinx rolled her eyes from that remark. "Doubt it."
Later we see Spike and Sphinx fucking...gotcha!
Later we see Spike and Sphinx doing snake charming.
"Hmph, I am able to charm Tatzlewurms."
"Lemme guess because you need an extra large snake charming flute?"
"Of course."
"That sounds kinda cute, a deadly thing like you playing an instrument."
"It's not cute!"
"Anything a cat does is cute." he smirked making her hiss.
"Even when they eat a cockroach?"
"Okay you got me there." he shrugged. "But hissing like that just proves my point."
She sighed. "Are you always such a tiresome little thing?"
"Ask the Spike episodes about our show."
"The what?"
"Nothing."
She raised an eyebrow at that, but shrugged.
Next we see Spike and Sphinx watching belly dancers.
"Awww yeah..." said Spike.
"How could you sit here and watch a mare dance like that?"
"Well, I'm sitting right here, so...pretty much like this?" he remarked like a smartass.
'If shaking my belly and wiggling my hips is enough to hypnotize males, then maybe I should try this.' She thought. "Let me try."
"Say what?"
Then she hopped onto the stage!
"Yipe!" Then the dancer fled as Sphinx started dancing!
"You think that was dancing? Feast your eyes on this!" She moved her hips, side to side and the audience was interested.
"Hell yeah, extra large!" Said one colt who snuck in.
"Hey, how'd that kid get in here!"
"Oops, time to bail!"
"Oops, time to bail!" Then the teen fled!
Then she started gyrating her hips in Spike's direction while making flirtatious eyes at him. Spike noticed and blushed.
'Wow, that's...actually kinda hot.' He thought.
Later we see Spike and Sphinx walking by a movie set.
"What are those things?" Sphinx asked, pointing at a camera.
"Oh, these are called cameras."
"Cameras? Aren't those the things that steal a pony's soul?"
"No, that's a myth created by old people who reject technology."
"Ah, so what do they do?"
"Some cameras can make an instant portrait called a picture, but this specific type of camera can make a moving picture called a movie."
"Movie?"
"Yeah, and it's like a play, but you can watch it over and over again."
"Hmmm...sounds interesting."
"Yeah, and with my rights as an ambassador, I get to see movies being made, and I get to have a guest."
"Ooh! Let's go watch one!"
And so they watch the ponies acting and breaking into song and dance.
"So many songs." Sphinx whispered.
"Yeah, Saddle Arabia love putting a lot of musical numbers in their movies."
That's when they got to an important scene getting filmed.
"Why do these 2 keep fumbling their script?" Said Sphinx.
"I heard these 2 actors have never had their first kiss." Spike replied.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Tch, how pathetic." she scoffed, closing her eyes. "Worrying over something that small is just sad."
"You have no idea what movies are like. Sometimes both or one of the actors have someone they're dating or married to. Sometimes instead of a kiss scene, there's a sex scene, maybe even exes are made to kiss on screen." Spike explained.
"My goodness."
"Yeah, but for these 2 singles, I have no idea what's up with them, maybe their sexualities? Thier preferences in the oopposite sex? These 2 should've read the contract." Spike explained further.
"Then my previous remark is true, sad."
"Don't worry, if anything I bet the director will persuade them with some extra pay...or blackmail...or maybe just use a computer editor to make it look like they were kissing but really they weren't."
"Computer editor?"
"There's a lot of stuff in the modern world you'll probably get overwhelmed by."
"Whatever you just said, I'd still rather they just kiss and get it over with."
Later they watch the final scene.
"That's a wrap everyone!"
"Great." Then Spike and Sphinx got up and started heading out.
"Why did the director have those actors have 4 endings?"
"The director has their own ending, but the studios who approve the movie will always complain and want a different ending."
"Hmph! I hope the first ending happens, it looked perfect."
"Trust me, if only things were that simple."
Later we see Spike and Sphinx return to her lair.
"I had fun today Spike."
"Yeah, me too."
"I especially enjoyed when you were blushing at me during the belly dancing." she smirked, making him blush in response. "Just like that."
Spike looked to the side.
"Well, you certainly kept your promise of not flirting with me. Great job." She said as she got cozy in her lair.
"Hey, I'm a dragon of my word." He then flared his nostrils! Making smoke come out.
"So, I'm curious, a strong handsome dragon like you, surprised you're still single. Is there anybody? Aside from the one gorgeous pony you talked about briefly, who never returned her romantic feelings, anyone else who could be a potential lover?"
"Well, mmmm, there were a few that made me curious. The idea of dating my first crush's sister clicked, I mean if Rarity wasn't into me, Sweetie Belle might turn out pretty when she grew up, but I toss that idea out because it was shallow of me."
"Good call."
"Next there was this dragon named Smolder. Great friend, really helped me with dragon culture since I was raised by ponies."
"I see, getting comfy with your own species."
"But it didn't really feel right either. Especially since she already started dating before I made a move. With a pony, griffon, yak, changeling, and hippogriff."
"Oh..."
"Then there was this...weird moment in my life when my brother asked if I could cuck him...hell no to that..."
"Cuck? As in...cuckold?"
"Yes, he wanted me to fuck his wife...but he respectfully accepted I wouldn't do that...and then he also respectfully accepted I wouldn't fuck his daughter when he asked as well..."
"Your brother has problems."
"Then there was that time the Queen of the Dragons, Ember and the King of the Changelings, Thorax started fighting over me."
"You had a king and queen fight over you?!"
"I know, also I'm not into guys but he kept on insisting since you know, he was a changeling." He rubbed the back of head which made her burst out laughing. "Hey! Not funny!"
"So what happened next?"
"Well, they eventually started dating each other."
"Damn, I figured a dragon would sooner squash one than go out with one."
"At least the international incident was resolved." Spike said. "Next up, I'm a big hero in the Crystal Empire."
"I thought that place fell, but then again, you did mention defeating King Sombra. So what? You got a lot of female worshippers?"
"Yep, but why should I take advantage of ponies like that?"
"To stake your claim for future generations, duh." she replied like it was obvious.
"Uh...no, I'm not that desperate for sex, some of those girls might even be planning to kidnap me, you never know. Fans are a mixed bag of mental stability."
"So, is that the end of Spike's quest for love?" She said mockingly.
"I'm not done yet."
She raised an eyebrow at that.
"There's a saving grace, a sweet griffin named Gabby, who comes to Ponyville everyday to collect the mail headed to Griffinstone."
"What makes her so special?"
"We're penpals and we like hanging out, and she loves listening to me and my adventures."
"Really?"
"Yeah, and whenever I'm sick, she brings home made soup for me, and sometimes we take turns eating the cherry of a milkshake that we shared together."
"I want to vomit, that was so sweet."
"So I'm hoping I can ask her out the next time we're both not busy."
"She sounds sweet enough to give you cavities."
Spike was blushing and holding his cheeks as he gushed about Gabby.
'This Gabby doesn't sound that special, maybe I can impress him with my own feats...I'm not jealous or anything...' she thought before scoffing. "Delivering mail isn't so great. Now traveling across the lands with ease and barely working up a sweat? That's impressive."
"Oh? Gonna try and show up Gabby now?"
"Of course, also, she's mortal, while I'm immortal." she smirked raising up her head. "Showing up a tiny griffon is nothing compared to what I can do."
"Okay, what makes you better for me as a partner?"
"Why a lot of things. For instance, I've noticed modern ponies love bigger females. How about you dragon? Is bigger, better for you?"
"Well, I'm not really a big fan of wide girls, if you know what I mean."
"Hmph." Then she used magic to shrink down to his size. "How about now?"
"Woah..."
"Now I'm small enough to feel your dick in me." She said. "Anyways, cats are cuter than anything, especially griffons who have the bird face instead of the cat face."
"Holy Celestia, you really ARE jealous."
"I'm not busy with much at all, so I'm ready to cuddle you each time you come home, unlike actual cats who don't really care unless you feed them."
'Only known me for a day and she's falling for my charm. Still got it.'
"If I can't attack the villagers with you watching me, may as well be tamed by you, that's what the ponies here want, right?" She said before sitting on his lap.
"You're gonna really put out for me? We just met yesterday."
"And we spent some time getting to know each other today." she remarked casually. "Back in my time, that's all that it took for two people to grow closer."
"Maybe for betrothed, but not sure if that works for modern day."
"Are you saying you'd rather be a virgin? You don't want to mate with this kitty?" she narrowed her eyes, making him break in a cold sweat. "Are you telling me, that you'd rather mate with a common griffon, than a sphinx?"
"W-well..."
"A young girl whom I predict has no experience in sex vs an immortal beauty whom has mated before."
Spike couldn't help himself when his twin peaks started coming out.
"Oh, would you look at that. What are you gonna do? Fuck me, or blue ball yourself all the way home?" she smirked smugly while licking her lips, making him gulp and look away. "Is the big bad dragon going to be shy~?"
Spike, then grabbed her ass! "Okay, we can start seeing each other, but that doesn't mean you've won this round."
"You think you'll make me the submissive one of this relationship?"
"I already beat you once."
"But let's see if you can maintain that lead."
Then they pressed their lips together!
After a faithful 20 whole rounds of sex, we jump to a month and a half later with the Sphinx laying on Spike's bed, with a big belly, since cat gestation is from 58 to 67 days.
"Servants! I demand more fish!" She called with another pony running in!
"What does Spike see in you?" Complained a butler handing her cans of tuna.
"He sees me as a sexy kitty wife." She said before taking the cans. "And I can't wait for him to come home today."
"Unless he left." muttered the butler, getting a growl from her in return.
"Say that again and I might have room for a pony!"
The butler ran away before crashing into said dragon. "Ah! Oh...hey there Spike...please control your wife!"
"Hmph, depends on who's got the higher score." Spike said before walking into his room. "Hello kitty."
"How was your ambassador work with the Kirin?"
"They had the heat, but I handled it. No wars between the Kirin and the Kitsunes."
"Excellent. The butler almost became my next meal."
"I really wish you'd not threaten the help."
"You saying you want to break the tie?"
"If that'll make you listen." Then Spike closed the door behind him.
Then we heard the sounds of purrs and growls coming from that bedroom.
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END