Here we go again, you know the disclaimers. I don't own them, never did, never will. I love them all the same.

It's time for another installment of "Versus"!

Brought to you by…

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Mr. Fizzy Loire!

That's right! It's me, Laguna Loire promoting my new soda. Nothing tastes like it! It has a flavor that can only be described as…Mr. Fuzzy Loire!"

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Kiros interrupts. "Mr. FUZZY Loire? You messed up your own soda commercial!"

"Hey get off! This is my spot-

And now back to our show!

Edea greets the audience. "Thank you. Welcome back to "Versus". Controversial doesn't come close to describing the topics discussed on this show. However, the show we bring you today is a special edition. We are here to discuss the results of the "Culinary Wars" trial. On our panel today we have:

"…An eye witness to the events and a mime of extraordinary talents, Gogo."

Gogo walks on waving and quickly takes a seat. There's a gleam in his eyes.

"…A SeeD from Balamb Garden, Zell!"

Zell jumps on stage and hoots. "WaHOO!" Edea instructs him to sit.

"Next, we have a general from Vector, General Leo."

A big applause roars for the general as he smiles and sits down next to Gogo.

"Next, we have the keeper of the secret ingredients used on the show, Gau."

Gau is used to the crowd now and takes a seat by General Leo.

"ROAR!"

"Gau behave now." Edea warns. Gau bows his head. "Sawy."

Edea continues. "Next, we have a prince from Eblan, Prince Edge."

A few girls scream as he blows a kiss to the ladies in the audience. He takes a seat by Zell.

"Finally, he is on the hit show "Laguna's Travels", Kiros!"

He doesn't show up and Edea clears her throat. "Ahem! Kiros!"

"Coming! Coming!" Kiros is heard shouting as he runs from the sound box where he was pestering Laguna. Laguna is still up there and is heard on the mic.

"Hah! That'll teach you to butt in-

"Excuse me." Edea steps in. Laguna stammers. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Hmph! What a way to introduce me. Couldn't you say former Galbadia soldier or a Representative of Esthar or something honorable?" Kiros complains to his chair.

As everyone is settled in, Edea begins the debate topic. "You all know how this show works, each person will express their views on the subject and when all have had their say, a free-for-all round will commence, where you will get to defend and rebut each other's arguments. However, in this debate, you will be choosing between the two chefs that competed and pick a winner. The chef with the most votes at the end of the show wins."

Edea looks at Gogo. "We shall start with Mr. Spence since he was there. Take it away."

Gogo claps his hands with excitement. "Wonderful! Well, I was there and Eiko and Master Tonberry put on an amazing show. It was so good to smell and see. So, I want to say…Aye yai yippee kai yay!" He starts to jump around.

The audience claps but Edea isn't impressed. "If that is all, we are moving on to General Leo."

"I'm done." He sits down.

Leo looks irritated. "I was not there and let me tell you, I was furious! I would have like to have been invited to that culinary feast. I mean, really, I would have loved a slice of warm blueberry pie."

The audience applauds, (I don't know why). He continues. "I know that Master Tonberry is, well, a master so…I WANT HIS PIE! There is no way a child could… well I'd try anyone's pie…I WANT PIE!"

Edea looks confused. "Next we shall move on to-

"Morgalamorph!" Gau speaks closely into his mike.

"Now behave yourself and tell what you think." Edea says to the wild boy.

Gau blushes slightly. "Um, Gau thinks dat Eiko did her best and das why I pick her food the best. And she's pwetty."

Edea gushes. "Awww…Next we have Zell."

Zell nods at the camera. "I like to eat stuff. But wasn't on the Show! Munjum!" He thinks to himself. "Gotta pick someone? Huh? Dilemma! Uh, what's a bonberry? Hey its-GAS! UUHN!" He passes out for some reason.

Edea looks a little alarmed and shakes Zell, but he doesn't wake up. "Zell! Well, let's move on to Prince Edge. (Zell, are you all right?)"

Edge shrugs. "Well, it's hard to say 'cuz I wasn't there, but come on! If this guy is such a master, he should win. That's what I think."

Edea looks over to Kiros. "Go ahead, Mr. Kiros."

Kiros turns his head up. "What do I think? How can you ask that? I wasn't on the show! This is ridiculous! Who's in charge of this show? LAGUNA, GET OUT OF HERE!"

Laguna is seen sitting at the very edge of the stage, trying to poke Kiros with a stick. "Nope! I'm gonna bug ya and bug ya-

Edea spots him and points to the exit. "You are not a part of this panel. Please leave. Now it is time for the free-for-all.

BRAAAA!

Kiros jumps up. "NO! We cannot go any further with this! Either we change the subject or get the tasting panel in here! It is absurd to think we can give a fair and unbiased opinion on something we did not taste nor experience! If I am going to judge food, I want the food I am judging here and now!"

Meanwhile, Laguna is busy poking Zell with a stick. Suddenly, Gogo stands up.

"Here's food!" He spins around and becomes a table lined with the food that was served at the show.

Edge leaps up in shock. "Oh my gosh! He turned into the food!"

Gau laughs and runs towards it and grabs a bowl of soup. "FOOD!" He slurps it up.

Edea doesn't know whether to stop them or not. "Oh! I don't know if that's a good idea."

Zell gets up at the smell of it and grins. "Alright! Here!"

He throws 2gil in. "TURN INTO A HOT DOG!"

Leo stands and runs toward it. "No! A PIE!"

Kiros eyes the food, uncertain and then shrugs. "As ridiculous as this all is, it is the only logical way to judge the food."

They all begin to eat.

"Hmm, not bad." Edge nibbles on a bon-bon.

"Gau likes Eiko food!"

"Which dish belongs to whom?" Kiros looks around the table for some signature.

Laguna is hiding under the table still poking with a stick. "You'll never be satisfied with anything. When you're dead and we bury you, you'll still be bossing Ward and I around telling us where to stick your rotting carcass. Oh, Kupo nuts!" He snatches one from a dish and eats it.

"I do like Eiko's dishes, but I think Tonberry's is better." Gogo says with a lettuce leaf stuck to his mask.

Edge jumps back. "H-how did you…?"

Kiros looks as if he's seen a ghost. "You're a Kupo NUT!" He points a shaky finger at Gogo.

"Oh yuck!" Leo starts to spit out the food.

Zell just laughs. "Ha hah! This is fun!"

He picks up and throws some of the food. Then he stands on top of the table and shows off his muscles. "LOOK AT MEEE!"

Kiros is fed up. "That's it! Laguna I hate you!"

Zell gets down off of the table. "I'll go with Tonberry 'cuz he's a GF! I didn't like any of the food, though."

Leo wipes his mouth. "I just pick Eiko. How revolting, no pie."

Edea looks around at the pig sty of a mess. "Ok, I think we've got two for Eiko three for Tonberry and one indecisive-

Suddenly, Ifrit shows up. "NOW THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Zell looks up at his lost GF. "HEY! Get back here, you're my GF!"

Ifrit looks at him and makes a dash for it. "Got to go! TIGGERBOM!"

(POOF!)

Zell throws his fists up. "NO!"

Edea signs off. "That's all we have time for tune in next time for "Versus". Bye!"