Crazy trouble with love part 9
Collin and Nifty
Series: Helluva Boss
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'H-How did it get like this? How could I have ended up down here?!' thought a tiny figure, dragging themselves down an alley, coughing and struggling to keep going. 'What went wrong?! All we wanted to do was to help save souls!'
The figure kept moving before tripping over a stray bottle, landing in a pile of old newspapers and garbage bags. They groaned in pain as their stomach growled louder painfully, making them close to breaking down in tears as their wings lightly twitched before they pushed themselves up against the wall. They sighed as they stared down, catching a glimpse of their dirty clothes and fur, both once a light blue color, now stained brown from the various incidents that had befallen them since they arrived in hell.
'How long...has it been?' They wondered, looking up at the red sky and wishing it was white, making them close their eyes and shake their head. "Come on Collin...you need to focus. You need to find something to eat…."
Collin just sighed as his stomach growled. "It's not like I can just buy food…. I don't have money, and everytime I go out someone tries to take me out…. Why? Why do they hate me? Why do they want to hurt me?!" He gripped his stomach, quickly hiding behind a garbage can when he heard footsteps pass by. 'Hell really is a cesspool of hatred and horror. Not a single kind soul, but what did I expect? It's what we were taught from the start.' He thought as his vision began to grow dark. 'No, wait, not now…..' he thought, trying to stay conscious. 'If I pass out now I'm as good as dead, I'd be better off walking into a butcher's store!'
But as he tried to force himself to stay awake, he wound up stumbling forward, groaning before falling forward facedown on the sidewalk. 'Nooooo.' He thought, his vision fading. 'This is the worst! Damn it!'
Right as he blacked out, the camera moved away from him and over to a rather short and petite demon humming to herself as she carried a box of cleaning supplies in her arms with ease along with several brand new mops.
'Today is gonna be a good day, I got new mops, I got a place to clean, I even got to kill a creep earlier!' thought Nifty with a somewhat innocent grin on her face as she was skipping a little. 'By the time I'm done, the place will be shiny from top to bottom.' She hummed, only to pause as she saw something blocking her path. She looked around the box, noticing it was a body, one that wasn't moving much, but it didn't look like it was bleeding out, but it was definitely dirty. Her eye twitched as she stared at the dirty body in front of her.
"Dirty…." She muttered before getting an idea. 'It's small enough, and I don't really have much experience cleaning people….I know! I'll take it to the hotel, clean it up, and maybe they'll want to stay, or we get a new meal!' she grinned, but made sure to put the box down before putting on rubber gloves and a mask, then lifted the box with one arm, easily, and grabbed the fur from the head of the body before she started dragging it behind her. "I just knew today was going to be a good day~"
(Later)
"Ugh….how…." Groaned Collin, starting to regain consciousness. He felt weird, he didn't feel the hard ground, instead he felt something soft underneath him. He sat up to see he was in a strange room on a plush bed, wrapped up in a bathrobe with his clothes neatly folded next to the bed. He slowly blinked, rubbing his eyes and wondering if he was seeing more hallucinations from hunger and exhaustion.
Suddenly there was a knock on his door, making him jolt back in fear.
"Hello? Are you awake in there?" came a girl's voice, making him shake his head.
"Y-Yes? Who's there?" he called back on guard while getting cold chills. 'Oh no, did someone take me? I don't taste good!'
"I'm Nifty." Called the voice as the door opened and Collin saw the short cyclops enter the room, a large smile on her face. "Glad to see you're awake, you look a lot better without all that filth on you!"
"Filth?" he looked over himself to see his fur was so clean it was practically shining, almost looking like he still had his old holy glow. "Wait, you...cleaned me?"
"Yep! I also cleaned your clothes, I can't stand filth, I just can't!" She said, her eye twitching before she shook her head. "Oh! I nearly forgot, Charlie wants to meet you when you wake up!"
"Meet me? Why?" He asked before giving a gulp. "W-Where am I?"
"You're at the Hazbin Hotel, and she wants to meet you for a hot meal and to apologize. Something about it being rude to just drag you here? She clearly didn't understand how filthy you were before I cleaned you." she replied before smiling. "Hurry up." before leaving the cherub alone, trying to digest all this.
'A hotel?' He looked around the room. 'Well, it definitely seems expensive enough to be in one, but I'm still in hell, right? So then why would this Charlie person care? Is this some sort of trick to make me lower my guard?' He thought as he shook his head. 'No, if they wanted to kill me they would have done so when I was unconscious and….naked.' he thought, finally connecting the dots.
His face turned red as he stared at his clean clothes, and at the bath robe he was in. "W-Wait, that Nifty girl said she cleaned me, d-does that mean she saw….and cleaned me while I was...oh good heavens!" He covered his face, trying hard to get the image out of his head as he reached over and grabbed his clothes, trying to get into them as quickly as he could. 'I-I should be happy she cleaned my clothes...but still!'
After some time, he slowly made his way out of the room, glancing down the halls and saw no one standing guard or ready to jump him. He cautiously made his way down the hall, unsure where he was supposed to go. He kept his eyes peeled for anything that gave off bad vibes, but it failed since it seemed like the place was empty.
He cautiously made his way down the hall, flinching at the slightest of noise, and after a bit he found a door that was wide open, and looked in to see what looked like a dining room. He slowly made his way in, jumping though when he spotted two girls sitting at the far end and chatting. He blinked as he saw one with blonde hair and pale white skin and two red cheeks like a doll who was sitting at the head of the table. The other though had grey skin, one eye with the other one closed with a scar across it, long white hair, and a pink bow on her head. He was going to move on when his stomach gurgled as he saw the banquet of food on the table.
He felt his mouth start to water, making him swallow before jumping and yelped when he spotted the first girl noticing him before she smiled. "S-S-S-Sorry! I-I-I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear!"
"It's ok, come on in little guy, welcome to my hotel!" She said, standing up with a large grin on her face. "Feel free to help yourself, you must be famished, right?"
"Uh….maybe?" he let out, slowly entering and looking around, still wary. "Uh, you own this whole place?"
"Yep, Welcome to the Happ- I mean Hazbin Hotel, the place where Demons come to redeem themselves!" She beamed while spreading her arms wide, making Collin slowly blink.
"Redeem? Demons?"
"Yep!" She said as Collin slowly sat down at the table. "Here I hope to solve Hell's overpopulation problem by promoting good actions, this is a place where demons can come to rest and turn away from all the vices and sins that got them sent to hell in the first place, so they can one day go to heaven."
He stared at the smiling girl with confusion and suspicion. "But, why? I mean, why would a random person want that?"
"Trust me, Charlie's far from a random demon. She's Lucifer's little girl." spoke up Vaggie making Collin's blood run cold and turn pale-er.
"Y-Y-You're Lucifer's daughter? T-The great fallen one?!"
"Well, yes, but I'm nothing like him, I swear!" She held up her hands quickly. "I want to help demons down here so they can change for the better. I mean, the yearly purge is always a bloody and horrible thing. I might not know everyone in Hell, but what I DO know is that dying permanently by the angels is something no one wants. So it clicked in my head one day, what if we could stop that? By showing everyone they could be better? Kinder? Not needing to divulge in sin 24/7? And that's when I got the ground work on my hotel up and running!"
"So….this place is made to get people into heaven? To reject the sin that got them sent here in the first place?" Collin asked incredulously. "Is that even possible?"
"Well, that's the thing. We haven't gotten anyone up there yeeet, but I know it can work!" She pumped her fist. "If they could end up down here for sinning, then it only makes sense to try and redeem themselves for a second chance. How will we know if we don't at least try?"
Collin opened his mouth to call the idea silly, only to pause. 'Redeem themselves? Wait…. It might be a long shot, but what if I could redeem myself here, what if there's a chance I can get back into heaven!'
"Before we get everything out, you might wanna chow down or else your stomach is gonna wake the dead." teased Vaggie with Collin realizing his stomach hadn't stopped growling.
"R-Right, sorry!" he said as he digged in, grabbing anything that looked appetizing. "So, what do you want with me then?' he asked between bites.
"Well, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you?" asked Charlie tilting her head. "I mean, I don't mean to offend, it's just...you don't look like the usual demons down here."
"Oh! W-Well...I'm not." he admitted swallowing the food and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm a cherub." He said, making Vaggie freeze and Charlie gasp.
"Really?! You mean you're from heaven?!"
"Yeah… I got kicked out when a man me and my friends were trying to protect were killed by these vicious imps." he revealed with a frown as Charlie held her cheeks with stars in her eyes.
"I heard about cherubs from my dad, but I never knew what they looked like! What's heaven like? Is it really sunny all the time? Is everything made of fluffy clouds? Is everyone there always happy?!"
"Well yes, it's all of those things, and we try our best to make everyone happy as can be." he said with a nod as Charlies eyes grew even wider with joy. He looked down at his plate and squeezed his hooves while trying to keep from getting too mad. "It was truly paradise. We were just doing our job. T-trying to save human souls from killing themselves, b-but then these three imps had to make it difficult! We were blamed for the man dying and got banished from heaven!"
"Oh my, I'm so sorry to hear that!" Charlie cried out sadly. "It must have been so rough for you down here, you're lucky Nifty found you and not someone else."
"Believe me, I've come close to being turned into l-lamb chops a few times." he shivered.
"Well, I can assure you that most likely won't happen here!" Charlie promised, with Collin slightly worried over the 'most likely' part of that promise.
"T-Thank you."
"And after you're full, we'll introduce you to everyone else. You'll love them."
"Eh." Vaggie waved her hand side to side, which didn't help Collin.
"O-Ok…. Thank your for the meal, but I uh...I don't have any money…" He said as Charlie and Vaggie stood up.
"It's ok, we can figure something out later."
"Don't even worry about it right now."
Collin smiled in relief, flapping his wings to fly as the girls led him out of the hall, thanking God above if he could hear him for nice demons finding him.
As they walked down the hall Collin looked around a bit nervously as he saw Nifty following them, cleaning up the areas they just were. He wanted to say thanks for her cleaning him up, but he kept his mouth shut since he was still on guard.
"For the last time cram it!"
"Aw don't be like that Husky, unless you're wantin' to cram somethin' in me~" He heard a voice called, making him feel uncomfortable as they turned the corner to see two demons either flirting or arguing.
"Angel! Husk! We have a new guest." smiled Charlie making the spider and cat demon turn with Charlie bouncing on her heels. "And you'll never guess where he's from~" she sang while biting her lip in excitement.
The two looked over at Collin with Husk not caring, and Angel giving a grin as he began to make his way towards the cherub.
"Well well well, fresh meat?"
"I-I-I don't taste good!" he let out in fear before darting behind Vaggie.
"Oh I'll be the judge of that small fry~" he said with a grin. "Wanna try out some spider di-"
"Angel!" Charlie cut in quickly with a blush and awkward chuckle. "Right now Collin just arrived, and he's a cherub."
"What's that? Some new kinky pet name?" He asked with a perverted grin as Collin blushed.
"N-No! I'm from heaven!" He shook his head, making the spider demon look surprised.
"Heaven? You're shitting me."
"I-It's true. Please don't eat me! I t-taste terrible!"
"Well I'm sure there's only one way to figure that out my dear sheep fellow." Called a hoarse voice that sounded like it was coming from a radio.
Collin felt a chill as he turned behind them, and let out a squeak of fear as he flew up to the ceiling as Alastor stood there with a grin. "W-W-W-Who are you?!"
"Alastor my dear heavenly chum, I'm current;y helping out Charlie with this insane idea of a hotel!" he said cheerily. "A cherub down in Hell is something I've never quite seen, but there's always been a time for a change and this is QUITE the change." he chuckled with Collin sweating in fear.
'Maybe staying in this hotel isn't the greatest of ideas.'
"Wait, if he's from Heaven, does that mean he's a virgin?" Asked Angel bluntly.
"W-Well, yes, but is that really important?" he asks nervously.
"Hey, what better way to welcome you to this shitty place than letting me fix that~?" he licked his lips with a hungry look making Collin's whole face turn red.
"N-No thank you sir!" He said nervously. "C-Charlie, are all your guests here like this?"
"No, Angel is just…..Angel I suppose, but he's getting better, I swear!" Charlie said quickly.
"Better my ass." scoffed Husk before walking off as he started chugging from his bottle.
"Hey! I'm more sober than you are!" he called back to the cat as he walked off with Alistor looking up at Collin without flinching.
"Tell me my fine furred friend, what brings you to this wonderful land? As I recall, your kind preferred flying through clouds and having a merry time."
"W-W-Well, I did, but me and my friends were banished."
"Ah I see, so you've fallen?"
"No! N-No I swear! We were framed by three dirty rotten imps!" he let out with anger before covering his mouth. "Oh no, I got upset, I'm sorry!" he bowed his head to Charlie.
"It's ok Collin, really, it's natural to be a bit upset." Charlie said with a small smile. "Just know you are welcome to stay here, and I was hoping I could talk to you about an idea I have."
"Really?" he went wide eyed as she nodded and he started getting teary eyed. "L-Let me stay? Here? Not out in a cold dirty alley?"
"Not at all, you can stay here as long as you want." Charlie said as he wiped the tears from his eyes.
"T-Thank you Charlie, but I can't stay here, I-I have no money, and I don't want to stay here for free and become a burden…"
"Oh don't be so stressed, you could just help out around the hotel to make up for it." She said with a smile. "In fact, I have a great idea, you could work here and become a mascot of sorts, a real cherub from heaven!"
"Mascot?" he looked surprised before Alistor snickered, making Vaggie frown at him.
"Yup, think about it. If others saw you, they might feel persuaded to give it a chance. After all, what better way to help them see it's worth it than seeing a real life cherub? And while we're at it, we might be able to figure out a way to help you get back to Heaven." Charlie said with a smile. "This way you can work to getting into heaven, and the hotel will seem more legitimate for having someone from heaven affiliated with it."
Collin held his chin and looked up in thought, smiling at the idea of him being welcomed back home before nodding. "Alright, you've got a deal."
"Great! I promise you won't regret th-" Charlie started only for Alastor to butt in.
"What an excellent idea Charlie, but for any new employee we should make sure they are serious about working here, how about signing a contract my furry little friend?" He offered making Vaggie step in.
"Woah there! Back up. There's no way you're making this guy sign something you wrote up. Alistor here is someone you do NOT make a deal with." She told Collin with a serious look in her eye.
"O-Ok…" he said nervously, starting to have doubts about his decision.
"It's ok, how about you go and explore the place, get settled, and I'll come up with some ideas of how you can help out as the new mascot." Charlie offered.
"That sounds wonderful." he smiled before she led him away with Vaggie narrowing her eye at Alistor who didn't lose his smile.
"Do NOT try anything with him, got it? The last thing we need is pissing off Heaven itself because you tried something with one of their own."
"Oh dear, sweet, naive Vaggie, you don't get it. Heaven has cast him aside, he has been kicked out, banished, excommunicated, given the boot, he has no protection from heaven anymore, he is as you would say, free game my dear." He chuckled. "Which means he's no different than you or I, so no need to worry about the angels themselves coming down and starting an early purge, you'll give yourselves wrinkles if you worry too much."
"Still, don't do anything to him Alistor, this means a lot to Charlie, so don't mess this up for her, got it?"
"Oh fret not Vaggie, I wouldn't dream of ruining it for her. I'm more intrigued to see how this goes with him as our 'mascot'." he chuckled. "All I know is that things are certainly going to be much more interesting now~"
She rolled her eye as Charlie showed Collin around one of the rooms, which looked like it sparkled all around and over.
"Wow, uh, this is really shiny… who's room is this Charlie?"
"Yours of course. If you're gonna stay with us, it only makes sense you get a room like them too."
"B-But all of this is too much for me! I-I mean I'm so much smaller and don't take up much space. I mean, it just feels like I'd be taking advantage of your generosity."
"Oh not at all, I assure you, you'll be helping out plenty, don't worry." She said with a smile. "This is the least I can do for someone from heaven, and our new mascot!"
"T-Thanks, but really, I don't need this big a room!" he explained. "I'd even be fine with a closet."
"Oh don't be so worried, while you're a guest here, you'll get the best like one." She said with a smile. "I need to get back to work, we can go over your new job tomorrow, if you have any problems feel free to talk about it to Razzle and Dazzle, and make sure not to make a big mess."
"Well, if you're sure." he relented as she made her way out before it clicked. "Wait! Who are they?!"
"That'd be us!"
"AHHH!" He yelped, whirling around at the sudden voice and saw two small winged goat demons sitting by the window with smiles.
"Collin, meet Razzle and Dazzle, they're my personal bodyguards, helpers, and some of my best friends." Charlie said with a smile.
Collin looked at the two who waved without losing their smiles. "Uh, who's who?"
"I'm Razzle." spoke the one with lighter red fur.
"No you're not, you're Dazzle, I'm Razzle." spoke the one with darker red fur.
"Really? I thought you were Dazzle."
"No, I'm telling you I'm not Dazzle."
"Ah, so then I'm Razzle."
"And I'm Dazzle."
Collin felt his head spinning around from the snickering he got and rubbed the top. "Uh...what?"
"Sorry Collin, they like to mess with people when they ask." Charlie said with a smile as she shook her head. "They're good people though, I'm sure you three will get along. Well, I'm gonna go, I can't wait to see you tomorrow!"
Collin opened his mouth, but she left right as they flew over and draped an arm over his shoulders.
"No need to worry buddy, you'll get use to this place in no time flat."
"Yep, this is a sweet gig and a great atmosphere, you'll fit right in!"
"Yeah! Heck if we get you some horns and some red dye you could be our triplet!"
"Wait! Are you two, imps?"
"Imps? Ha! Good one." Chuckled Razzle as he shook his head.
"Yeah, we're goat demons! Do we look like imps?" Dazzle asked with a chuckle.
"N-No I-" He started only for the two goat demons to lightly slap him on the back and start walking towards the door.
"It's no problem, we're good, come find us if you need anything or if you wanna have fun!"
"Btw, we know the best places around if you wanna cut loose." Dazzle said with a wink. "Just keep that in mind~"
Collin blushed and watched them close the door, giving him a chance to look around the room and feel small, it was bigger than his old house in heaven. 'Is….is this really what I want? I hardly know these people and yet I'm already taking so much from them, their time, this room, and Charlie is even pinning her hopes and dreams on me..' he thought, starting to feel overwhelmed. 'Oooh, maybe I'll think of a better way to repay them after some rest, I'm still exhausted.' He thought as he climbed up onto his new bed. Just like everything else in the room, he felt small in it, like he was taking up both too much space and not enough. 'I swear, tomorrow I WILL earn my keep here!'
With that he closed his eyes and got cozy pretty quickly thanks to the fresh sheets.
(Next day)
"Zzzzzzzzz." snored the cherub, sleeping like a rock, unaware of the doorknob to his room jiggling before the door slowly swung open. Small humming was heard as he drooled on the pillow before a hand started nudging him.
"Hey, hey, hey, wake up, wake up."
"Mmm, five more minutes mommy…." He grumbled while pulling the sheets closer.
"Sorry, no mommy here." Nifty chuckled as she poked him again before spotting the drool on his face and the bed, and narrowed her eye. She picked up a towel and carefully lifted his head before wiping it away, arousing him from his sleep.
"Huh, wha-?" He said in confusion, seeing the small maid holding his head. His eyes widened noticing how close to his face was, making his face turn red as she pulled the towel back and put his head down before smiling.
"There, no sense letting you walk around with drool on your face." She said with a smile, making his face heat up a bit.
"O-Ok….wait, Nifty, what are you doing in my room?" He asked as he sat up. "Is something happening?"
"Well, Charlie said she wanted you to start your first day, but she had to leave today, something about a meeting with a possible guest?" She replied before walking out of the room to her cleaning cart as Collin got up and started to quickly make his bed. "Breakfast is downstairs."
"Wait!" he called out, flying over and rubbed his hooves together, a nervous habit, and gulped. "Before you go, I wanted to thank you. For bringing me here and cleaning my clothes I mean."
"Oh, it was nothing, I'm glad I could help clean you up." She said with a smile as she began to push her cart.
"W-Wait, is there any way I can make it up to you? If Charlie is gone I don't have anything to do, can I help you out?" He offered. "It's only fair, right? Maybe I could help clean up around the halls."
With that Nifty froze and slowly turned around to look at him in shock. "You want to help me clean?!"
"Well yeah. I use to always make sure my house was spick and span all the time." He said with a smile. "Plus I'd be a bad guest if I didn't help clean the place up, right?"
Nifty stared at the goat silently before giving a big grin and grabbed his hooves. "Then let's get to it!"
"Great. Where should I start?" He asked as she led him to the cart.
"Just follow me, we have to go clean up the penthouse rooms, I haven't gotten to them yet so they must be FILTHY!" She grimaced with a frown. "Just thinking about all the dust alone is enough to make me go crazy."
"Alright then, let's get up there and clean them up." He said with a smile. 'Finally, I can earn my keep!'
(Later)
Collin coughed, trying to pat dust off his fur as Nifty was mopping the floor so much it was sparkling as she moved. "I think I got all the dust, mostly."
"Great! Thank you~" She called with a grin as she turned to him. "You're doing great, just try not to get yourself dirty!"
"Sorry." he apologized before his nose twitched. "Ah...ah...ah….ACHOO!" which caused some dust to fall off him and land on the couch.
"No! Dirty dirty dirty!" She cried out as she raced towards the couch.
"S-Sorry!" he apologized as she quickly sucked it up with a small vacuum. "That's on me, I take full responsibility."
"As you sh- wait, you're...sorry for making the mess?" She asked in surprise. 'Wow, he not only helps clean he doesn't even mean to make messes?!'
"Yeah, I should have figured it would happen. My nose is sensitive at times." he grabbed a towel and wiped himself off of the dust. "Want me to do the bathroom?"
"Y-Yeah, that would be great.' She said as he turned away and made his way to the bathroom, unaware of Nifty's pupil turning into that of a heart. 'I think I'm in love~'
'Ok Collin, making a mess won't help. You need to be more serious and not goof up.' he thought before getting to work on making sure the room sparkled.
(Later)
"Need any more help?" Collin asked, exiting the now shining bathroom.
"Nope, I got everything else while you were busy." she smiled while the whole place sparkled like brand new, making his mouth drop open.
"That was….fast." He said as she nodded.
"Well, it's what I do, but thank you for the help!" She said with a wide smile.
"No problem, I'm always happy to help when needed." He said, making her heart a flutter.
'He's perfect!' She thought, looking him over. 'Plus he's kind of cute and handsome too~'
"So…..do you need help cleaning up anything else?" He asked, shaking her out of her thoughts.
"Huh? Oh, uh, not really, but I was thin-" She started when suddenly the door to the penthouse slammed open.
"Collin! Good news!" Charlie called with a massive grin, startling the two small employees.
"Huh? Charlie?".
"Sorry I couldn't meet you early, but now we can get started on your first job as the hotel's mascot, oooh I'm so excited!"
"Wait, really? My first job?" He said, perking up with excitement. "What is it?"
"Nothing too big, it's just a small photoshoot to get some pictures taken. This is for some ads to go out for everyone to see." She said with a smile. "It's going to be great, come with me and we'll get started!" She said, excitedly picking up the cherub and carrying him off.
Nifty pouted, crossing her arms at being interrupted, but went to put the supplies in the cart to put away. 'I'll tell him when he's done.'
(Later)
"Thanks Collin, these turned out great!" Charlie called with a massive grin as the cherub flew away, his face red.
"H-H-How did they turn out great?" He asked with a groan. "That photographer wanted me to dress up in all those weird outfits! They even said something about a pinup?!"
"Don't worry, they took plenty of good ones before...that." Charlie said with a nervous chuckle. "Maybe I shouldn't have hired the photographer Angel recommended?"
"Please tell me we have enough. The look in their eyes is something I'd rather not see anytime soon."
"Don't worry, I'm sure they got some of them with you in your uniform, we'll make sure only the good ones end up on the ads and billboards, I promise...or at least I'll try my best?"
Collin covered his face, shuddering at the idea of an embarrassing one getting posted. "I-I'm going to go….do some work.' He said, flying away, feeling awkward and embarrassed. 'I'm sure this wasn't what Charlie intended, I'm sure the rest of my jobs as the mascot won't be nearly as bad as the first one!'
"Alright, I'll let you know when suppers ready." She called.
'Ok, what do I do until then?' He thought, flying through the halls before noticing someone dash past him, a large cart trailing behind them. 'Nifty?'
"WHERE IS IT WHERE IS IT?!"
"Nifty?" Collin called in confusion. "Is something wrong?"
She skidded her feet to a stop, the cart stopping instantly before she turned and smiled. "Collin! You're back!"
"Yeah, but what's going on? Did you lose something?"
"Oh! It's nothing big, just a no good dirty spot that Angel mentioned I missed." she gave an innocent smile with her eye twitching. "That's why I need to hunt it down and clean it until it vanishes."
"Oh, well then how about we both look for it? Two eyes are better than….one…" he said, trailing off nervously.
"Great plan!" She said, not hearing the accidental insult. "Let's go, we WILL find that spot!"
"Ok, did he mention where it might be?"
"Nope, which means we need to double check the area we cleaned up, and we are not stopping until we find it." She said with determination.
"Ok, sounds good….but what if we don't find it? You were pretty thorough in your cleaning last time I saw you doing it." he remarked as they went down the hall. "I don't think I've seen someone clean as well as you honestly."
"Aw, thanks Collin." She said with a blush. 'He's so sweet! Maybe after we find this spot I should tell him how I love him?'
"No problem, just saying the truth." he smiled, but he did have a blush of his own. "So….besides cleaning, what other things do you do around the hotel?"
"Well I clean, wash the dishes, the sheets, I take care of anything that breaks, and I even cook too!"
"Isn't that a bit much for one person?" He asked in surprise as she shook her head.
"Nope, I really enjoy it! Plus I'm super fast! Plus if I really need to get a lot done at once I just put myself into auto mode and get it done even faster, just running on autopilot….but sometimes it doesn't work out like it should." she admitted looking up in thought before smiling. "But it's pretty easy for me and gives me the chance to keep this place spick and span."
"Wow, that's amazing…" Collin said in amazement, making her smile in pride as they rounded another corner.
"Say, Collin, I was wonder-"
"Oi, shortstack, I'm borrowing the cherub." Angel cut in walking over while casually and easily pulling Collin over using one arm without stopping.
"Huh? Wha- why?! What do you need me for?!" He asked, noticing the spider demon wearing a black silk dress that hugged his body while the bottom rode up high enough to his ass it was practically slipping out. "W-Where are you taking me?!"
"I'm taking you out on the town goat boy, you and I are gonna hit all the best spots, the best pickup joints around!" Angel said with a smirk. "You can thank me tomorrow when you finish your walk of shame from whatever slut you hookup with tonight."
"What?! B-But I don't drink anything with alcohol in it! It's a sin to get drunk!"
"Oh please, you're already in hell, what's the harm in one more sin?" he waved off as he went down the stairs. "Think of the positives, you can get your dick wet, and if you're really lucky, maybe I'll do you a favor and show you why I'm the hottest slut in this town." Angel chuckled as they began to leave the hotel. "Trust me, the odds of you staying a virgin tonight are practically zero!"
(Later)
"God damn, good going little sheep." Angel muttered, kicking open Collin's door.
"Ooooh~ pretty lights~ I'm in Heaven again~" slurred Collin with a hiccup and laugh as Angel walked over to the bed and dropped him on his face.
"One god damn whiskey in you and you couldn't shut up about heaven for five seconds! You killed everyones fucking mood in there!" He facepalmed with a groan. "Last time I try to help, next time you go out and get the balls to actually use them, it ain't gonna be cheap, so I'd start saving pal."
"This cloud is so soooooft~"
"Ugh, fucking lightweight." Angel turned and walked out of the room, closing the door on the way out while Collin snuggled up against his pillow.
"Soft pillow, happy cloud~" he chuckled drunkenly. He gave one more chuckle before he went out like a light and started snoring.
(Later)
"Ugh…. Nifty, please, end me, god is punishing me for sinning last night ..." Collin groaned, lying on the floor as Nifty cleaned around him.
"Oh that's not him, you just never had beer before and it hit you harder than you expected. Don't worry, just drink it more often and you'll get used to it in no time flat, just ask Husk."
"But it's a siiiin." he groaned. "I didn't wanna do it!"
"Well you don't have to, but that just means the next time you get some in your body, this is gonna happen again and again. On the upside, you didn't end up puking all over the carpet."
"I guess…" He groaned. "I'll never touch another drop of liquor again though." He pulled himself from the ground and tried to fly up. "I'm sticking with water or juice from now on."
"That's the spirit Collin!" Nifty said with a smile, cleaning the spot he had been laying on.
"Alright, so, need any help Nifty?" He asked as she perked up.
"You wanna help me? Again?"
"Yes, i-if that's ok?" he nodded, making her grin again before she gave a chuckle.
"Oh it's more than ok~" She said with a chuckle. "Oh you can help me any ti-"
"There you are, ya little goat thing." Husk cut in, walking over to them with a frown. "I got a job for you to do."
"Huh? A job?" he asked in confusion as Nifty pouted.
"Yeah, that grey bitch took my booze, she was yelling something about this place being 'sin free' or something? Anyway, she said she hid them, because she knows I check the trash, so I need someone to check the small hard to reach places."
"Oh, you mean Vaggie? Well, maybe that's a good thing." he tried to look on the upside. "I mean, why worry about booze when there's plenty of more healthy alternatives? Like a good tall glass of fresh milk?"
Husk just stared at him deadpan before growling. "The day I start drinking milk like some housecat is the day I have lamb chops for lunch! Now come on, I think I saw her putting something in the chimneys."
"Uh, actually Husk, Collin was just about to help me." Nifty spoke up.
"Later, first I need my booze, and Alastor would kill me if I tried to get you to crawl into a chimney, the cherub is free game." Husk called, walking away, dragging Collin with him.
The small demon puffed out her cheeks, looking more red while Collin flew up to keep from getting skid marks, but Husk kept a grip on his ankle.
"Look Mr Husk, I can get it's hard to quit altogether, but all it takes is that one first step."
"I ditched that stupid twelve step program when I was in middle school." Husk said with a growl. "Anymore talk about me sobering up and I'll toss you to the hellhounds covered in BBQ sauce."
Collin clamped his hooves over his mouth with a gulp and let the cat bring him down to the fireplace.
"Alright, start climbing and call down if you see any bottles."
"O-Ok…" he said, looking up the dark tube. 'It can't be that bad if Nifty is cleaning this place… right?' He thought, gulping before he started climbing in.
(Later)
"Oooh, I can't believe Husk went and snatched him away before we could spend more time together!" Nifty vented, pacing back and forth in her room. "He better not hurt him or I swear…."
KNOCK KNOCK
She turned to the door and walked over. "Who is it?"
"It's me, I'm done with the goat." came Husk's voice before the sound of drinking could be heard, making her smile.
"Finally!" She called as she swung open her door eagerly, only to freeze at the sight before here.
"Here you go, go nuts." Husk said, dropping what she thought at first was a filthy pile of wool in front of her, until she got a good look at it. "I'm going on my break."
Collin coughed up ash and dust as the cat demon walked away. "It was so dark and cramped in there, I thought I was gonna get stuck." He groaned, pushing himself to his feet. His once light blue wool now stained black by ash, soot, dust and other filth, his clothes faring no better. "I didn't know this hotel had so many chimneys and crawl spaces Nifty….Nifty?"
"You….are….FILTHY!" She let out with her pupil dilated as her body shook. "You need a bath! Right now!"
"Wha-" He found himself yanked by her into the room, carried with ease into the bathroom before she turned the water on. "Wait! I-I can clean myself off in my own room!"
"Filthy filthy filthy filthy!" Nifty just shouted, quickly tearing off his clothes and throwing them into the corner of the bathroom.
"EEEK!" Collin squeaked, covering himself in embarrassment as the tub got filled before she pushed him in, causing him to get soaked all over as she grabbed some shampoo and started pouring it on him before she started scrubbing it around.
"You're not leaving this tub until you're squeaky clean mister!" She cried out, occasionally grabbing more bottles to add to her cocktail of soap and shampoo. "Not a speck of dirt will remain when I'm done!"
"Wait! My wool can't take so much soap!" He let out, covered all over in bubbles before she grabbed a brush and began scrubbing him all over. "Ah! Wooh! H-Hey wait! I can clean myself there! EEK! That's my tailbone!"
"Quit struggling, it'll be easier if you just hold still!" She cried, grabbing him and started dunking him again and again under the water, washing the soap off until it was done before draining the water and used the shower head to give him once more rinse over before smiling as Collin was cleared of dirt and had his wool soaked, all of it droopy and covering his eyes. "There, much better, now to dry."
"Fine, but I can do that on my o-mph!" He cried as a massive towel covered him.
"Nope, I can't just leave a job half done!" She let out before she quickly moved around him, drying each and every spot on him and getting the towel soaked before she pulled it off and grabbed a hairdryer, hitting him with hot air to finish it up. She smiled as she blasted him over, the previous soaking wet cherub now a massive fuzz ball of frizzed wool. "Perfect, now let me see if I have a brush around here somewhere~"
"T-That's alright, really!" he let out, still blushing, but thankful his fur this way was covering up...down there. "I-I should really get back to my room…. Can I borrow a robe or something? My uh...clothes aren't really wearable right now."
"No problem." 'Even if the view is to die for~' She zipped out of the bathroom and came back with a red robe. "Try it on."
"T-Thanks." He said as he pulled the robe on quickly, tying it up to give himself some modesty. "It's nice, too bad I can't fly in it."
"Oh why would you wanna fly away? No need to rush off now, right?" She smiled with what seemed like a wink, making Collin blush and feel his heartbeat pick up.
"W-W-W-Well, I uh… I mean…" he stammered, his face growing red.
'Oh Satan thank you! He looks cute enough to gobble up!' thought Nifty slowly coming closer, making Collin gulp and feel his hooves get clammy. "You know, if you want, you COULD spend the night-"
KNOCK KNOCK
'NO! No no no no no!' Nifty thought as collin perked up.
"W-Who is it?"
"Collin? What are you do-nevermind, I need to talk to you." Came Vaggie's voice.
"O-Ok, coming." he called as he made his way to the door.
Nifty gritted her teeth and hissed as she looked out as Collin opened it to see Vaggie.
"What is it Vaggie?"
"Did you help Husk find his booze stash?" she asked, crossing her arms, making him gulp.
"Well...technically yes, but he dragged me into it I swear! I even tried to suggest he go with a better alternative, like milk." He protested. "He said he'd throw me to the hellhounds if I didn't help him!"
"Ugh!" She facepalmed with a groan. "I'm gonna smash his stash later."
"S-Sorry." He looked down with guilt. "I-Is there anyway I can make up for it?"
"Well….alright, you can help do his job. You can cover the front desk for a bit while I have a little 'chat' with him." She said as she lightly pushed him out of Nifty's room. "Now hurry up and get down there, just man the front desk, and do anything you can do to help the other guests, I think Charlie might want to talk to you later too."
"You got it." He saluted and rushed down the hall as Nifty marched over to Vaggie and glared up at the girl.
"You already have a girlfriend, cut me some slack!" She snapped before slamming the door in the girl's face who was completely confused.
'What's with her?'
(Later)
'Alright, I guess this isn't so bad.' Collin thought, dressed in a red bellhop's uniform behind the front desk. 'I just need to be polite, welcome any new guests, and help them with anything they need. Just like my old job.' He thought, relaxing behind the desk, waiting for anyone to walk through the front doors. 'Any second now someone will come through those doors, looking to better themselves!'
That's when the bell quickly rang, making him smile and sit up.
"Welcome to the Hazbin H...otel?" he looked confused, not seeing anyone around. "Huh, that's odd. Must have been hearing things." He said, settling back down when the bell rang again, making him perk up once more. "Hello! Welcome to…." He saw again, no one entered and looked at the bell, picking it up and checking it all over. "Hmm, I wonder if this thing is broken." He mused, setting it down once more.
DING~
He sat up and looked around quickly, narrowing his eyes. "Alright, well since nobody's here, I better just turn around and make sure everything's in order." he turned around slowly and made a humming sound like he was actually checking something. He kept the bell in the corner of his eye, and grinned as he saw something reaching up to ring the bell once more. He jumped over and grabbed the hooved hand. "Ah ha! Got ya!"
"Nice job Collin." Chuckled Razzle, who's hand was being held. "You're pretty smart, huh? We were able to play that trick on the drunk for hours!"
"Yeah, and you don't chuck bottles when he does." Remarked Dazzle poking his head up beside his twin.
"Well, that would be wrong. What are you two doing here besides pranking me?"
"Oh silly silly Collin, THAT'S not the prank."
"Come again?" He asked in confusion as the two goat demons grinned at him deviously.
"You see, YOU are going to help us with a prank!"
"One that you're perfect for!"
"A prank? What would you need me for?"
"You see, we're going to turn YOU into a goat demon!" They announced with grins.
Collin's eyes widened, jaw dropped open, before his eyes rolled back into his head as he fell back and passed out.
"...Well, I'll take that as 'sounds good', don't you, dear brother?"
"Yep, he didn't refuse, did he?" Dazzle asked as he and Razzle picked up the comatose cherub. Both carried him off to a closet with dark chuckles.
(Later)
"Ugh….my head…" Groaned Collin, starting to regain consciousness. He felt strange, his wool felt tingly, and several things seemed...off.
"Good morning sleepy head!"
"Have a nice nap?"
"Ugh, what did y-" he started before remembering what they had said to make him pass out in the first place. "W-W-Wait, what did you mean earlier about turning me into a goat demon?!"
"Oh, we're not turning you into one."
"We DID turn you into one!" they said with a grin before pulling up a large mirror for Collin to see his reflection, which made him pale as he saw himself. The pale blue fur was now a dark red, and his bellhop uniform had been replaced with one that matched the twins. Not to mention he had horns glued on to his forehead that looked just like theirs,a nd his wings had been altered to look like theirs as well, and there was a spaded tail attached to his rear. "What do you think?"
"W-Why would you do this to me?!" He cried out in horror, now seeing that they had even added contact lenses while he was passed out to make his eyes the same red and yellow as theirs.
"For the prank, duh."
"Yeah, it wouldn't work if you didn't get a makeover."
"BUT WHY?!" He cried out, trying to process what they had done to him.
"Ah, right, so here's the plan, we need you to pretend to be one of us."
"Again, why?!"
"Because it'll be funny! We have a bet to see how long it'll take her to notice!"
"I say it'll take her two hours."
"I say four!"
"Well what if I don't wanna do this, then what?!" Collin demanded.
"Then we spread the photos Charlie asked us to destroy from your photo shoot around town~" Razzle chuckled as Collin paled.
"Y-You have copies?"
"Multiple~" Dazzle chimed in.
"And hidden~"
"N-No fair! Charlie told me that she got rid of those!"
"We were just a teeny bit quick~"
"And how could we let such amazing photos get destroyed?" They chuckled as Collin blushed.
"Ooooh, you two are so...so….cruel!" He said, puffing his cheeks out as he stamped down his foot.
"Aw c'mon, it's not that bad, just play along with the prank, you already got your wool dyed and stuff, why waste it?"
"Yeah, you just need to get us down and bam! You'll blend right in."
"So what do you say, are you in?" They asked with grins as Collin sighed.
"I don't really have much of a choice." He sighed. "Let's get this over wi-"
"COLLIN?!"
All three turned their heads to see Nifty standing there with a dropped jaw, a spray bottle, and towel, with her eye twitching.
"H-Hey Nifty…" he said, feeling embarrassed. 'I must look ridiculous right now…'
"What happened to your wool?! It's...It's…."
"Dashing?"
"Stunning?" grinned Dazzle.
"Stained! Is that glue on your head with those horns too?!" Nifty cried out, zipping over to inspect him. "What happened?!"
"Um… so Razzle and Dazzle wanted to pull a prank on Charlie by having me replace one of them, and when they told me they wanted to make me a demon I fainted, and then I woke up like this."
"Aw come on, you ruined the surprise."
"Are you two mad!?" She glared at the two goats. "Staining his perfectly flawless wool with this dye?! And putting these fake horns on with hard to clean glue? That stuff isn't easy to wash off!"
"It'll be fine, it will come off eventually, and I think he looks great as a redhead...er, red everything."
"Besides, as soon as the prank's over he can look himself." Razzle said as he waved his hand. "He can just wait for his hair to grow back, we have all the time in the world down here."
"Oh no! Waiting around while something needs cleaning is just asking for more trouble! Come with me mister." Nifty said, grabbing Collin's hand to lead him away.
"W-Wait, I can't yet, I have to do their prank!"
"Yeah, if he doesn't, we spread some fiiine photos around." Snickered Dazzle.
"Yeah, but if you ask really nicely we might give you some Nifty~" Razzle chuckled.
"Oh please, why would he go along with just a few pictures?" Nifty asked as she rolled her eye.
"Here's a sample." Razzle said with a grin as he pulled a single photo out of his shirt.
Nifty took it and didn't look impressed for about three seconds before her eye went wide, her face lit up, and she opened her mouth with a little drool leaking out.
"H-Hey! You said you wouldn't share any of those!"
"We're not, this is just a small sneak peek." Razzle said with a grin. "Think of it as a penalty for squealing to Nifty. So, what do you say, can we have our new triplet back?"
"Uh...just how many did you say you had?" Nifty asked, not tearing her gaze from the picture.
"Hundreds~." They chuckled. "Charlie made the mistake of hiring a photographer Angel Dust recommended, so there's plenty of those."
"I see." She cleared her throat and smiled at Collin. "Collin, why don't you wait right here for a moment?"
"Huh? What for?"
"I wanna hear the entire prank they have in mind, in private." She gave an innocent smile before leading Razzle and Dazzle around the corner.
Collin gulped, rubbing his neck and looked to the ceiling before a high pitched squeak was heard, followed by a horrified scream and then the sound of numerous crashes.
"Ahhhh! Wait wait! That doesn't bend that way!"
"Let go, let go! That is not detachable!"
Collin covered his ears and winced as Dazzle clawed at the floor coming around the corner.
"Mercy! For the love of Satan, mercy!"
"Oh no you don't!" Nifty called as she grabbed him and pulled him back behind the corner. "Oh look, you made a little mess all over my clean floor~"
Collin turned his back and started silently praying before a loud thud was heard, making him slowly turn nervously before Nifty walked over with a smile and hum.
"They agreed to let you pass on the prank, now let's get you nice and clean."
"B-But, what about the photos?"
"Oh don't worry, it's taken care of." she smiled while the edge of one was slightly sticking out from her back pocket.
"O-Ok...but I don't think you can really clean up what they did to me as easy as the soot." Collin said as she began to lead him away.
"Now don't be silly Collin, I can get rid of any stain, and I do mean ANY stain." She said with a chuckle. "This one will just take a bit more elbow grease~"
"O-Ok?" Collin said, feeling slightly scared.
(Later)
"And….done!" Nifty said with a smile as a dazed Collin stammered out of her room. "I told you I could clean up that mess~"
"Oooh….birdies…"
"Don't worry, you're just a bit loopy from the soap, I had to use some powerful stuff to get that nasty red die out." She patted his head, biting her lip at how close they were. "If you feel off, you're welcome to come back and lay in my bed~"
"Okie dokey…" He said, stumbling away.
'Oh Satan, I'm gonna lose it!' thought Nifty licking her lips before going back into her room to take a VERY long cold shower. 'At least I have those photos for later~'
(Later)
Collin sat besides Husk at the front desk, no new guests in sight, but the cherub was looking nervous as he rubbed his hooves together with Husk himself leaning back and looking bored.
"Quit worrying, you're acting like you're about to get shot."
"S-Sorry, it's just….I've been thinking." He sighed as he plopped down on the floor. "I just…well…have you ever worried about someone- I mean something you…. Oh I don't know…"
"Kid, either spit it out or shut the fuck up. I'm not in the mood when I'm sober."
"Well...have you ever been worried about something in particular because you don't know how to feel and are confused on how to deal with it?" He groaned. "Say…say you liked someone, someone who you've only been told bad things about all your life, and they turn out to be the opposite of everything you've been told, what do you do?"
Husk looked at the goat with a deadpan look before sitting up. "Alright, spill. Which one do you wanna fuck?"
"W-W-W-What?!" he went wide eyed. "N-N-N-No one!"
"Kid, your face is red, you're sweating, and you're still stuttering. Either you got laid or not, and I doubt it's the first one or else you'd actually have a spine. So lay it on me, which one's got your eye?" He asked as the cherub stuttered and blushed. "Please tell me it's not Angel Dust, that pricks annoying enough already."
"No no….it's….Nifty." He whispered while making sure no one was listening in. "I've never felt this way before. My whole life I was taught demons were the worst of the worst and weren't worth feeling bad for during the yearly purges. That they were better off cleansed for good, but Nifty? She's….It's like she has this charm to her that makes my heart beat like a drum." He said with a happy sigh. "She's nicer than some of the people I've met in heaven, she's…like an angel."
"You're not drunk are ya?"
"I'm serious!"
"Kid, I've seen that crazy brat lose her shit when someone tracks in mud. She's nowhere near an angel, unless you mean the whole bloodthirsty kind, then yeah."
"I mean it! She keeps things nice and tidy, like me, and she takes her job seriously, which I can respect. Plus she doesn't feel the need to drink, be vulgar, or show off so much skin." He said as he shook his head. "She's perfect!"
"Then why are you bitching here about her to me instead of telling her?"
"I've….never been the upfront kind." he muttered looking away. "I don't know how to do it right."
"It's not that big of a deal. Just go up to her and say 'hey bitch, wanna go do some crazy shit?' and if she walks off, you get over it and get blind stinking drunk."
"I-I can't do that! That would be t-too bold, it would go against what I was taught in heaven!"
"Yeah, because the stuff they taught you has helped out a bunch down here." Remarked Husk sarcastically. "Listen kid, you're not living there anymore, you're in Hell, meaning if you don't get over that bullshit and learn how we do it here, you're not gonna last no matter how long you stay here."
"I….but…I can't…" he sputtered before sighing. "It's not that easy… plus, I live here now, Charlie will protect me, and Mr. Alastor too, right?"
Husk stared at him silently before raising an eyebrow.
"Ok, well Charlie will." he admitted while unaware of Nifty spying on him from the stare, seeing him, but not hearing anything on what was being said.
"If you don't get the balls you need to tell her upfront, you're better off just getting drunk like me."
Collin shivered hearing that while the one eyed maid gripped the rail, determined and tired of the constant interruptions. She swore if anyone else tried to stop her she was going to lose it. In fact, she has had enough of this, she will get her time with Collin, no matter what!
'Come on, walk up the stairs~'
"Well….maybe you're right." Sighed Collin who inhaled and put on a serious face. "As soon as I see her, I'll tell her how I feel."
"Then go find her, it's not like we're going to get any guests today, hell odds are anyone who does show up is here to find the cherub on all the posters around town."
Collin turned and floated up the stairs, not noticing Nifty moving up behind him, until he reached the top and yelped, feeling himself yanked off quickly, the two of them entering a closet which slammed and locked. "W-Wha?!"
"Hello, Collin~" She said with a grin, her single eye glowing in the dark as she leaned over him. "I've been waiting for this for you~"
"N-Nifty?" He gulped, blushing as they were really close to each other. "W-W-Why did you bring me in here?"
"Because I'm tired of us being interrupted again and again and AGAIN!" She snapped, making him gulp as she leaned in closer. "I'm going to let it ALL out, right here, right now!"
"W-W-Wait, what do you mean, what are you g-going to do?!"
"I like you Collin, and I mean a loooot~"
His eyes widened and his heart picked up. "L-L-L-L-Like?! Y-You mean...like like?"
"Oh yeah, like like~" She said with a massive grin. "I just wanted to say it, I've been trying for so long, and I know you might not-"
"N-No! I mean…Nifty, I….like like you too ..." Collin said with a blush as he covered his face. "I just...didn't know how to tell you…."
"You…YES!" Nifty shouted, jumping up in excitement before tackling Collin to the ground. "Oooh, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! Now we can go on dates, spend time together while not working, and then when we save up we can have a BIG wedding! Then get a nice little place of our own and start our own family! I'm thinking that three kids would be perfect~" she rambled off while hugging him, the cherub turning bright red.
"K-K-K-Kids?" He stammered, trying to wrap his head around what he just heard. "W-Well, I guess if we got married it would make sense…"
"Eeeeeeh!" Nifty let out a squeal before grabbing his cheeks. "Plant one on me big boy~"
"A big wha-" he started, only for Nifty to silence him as she slammed her lips against his. His eyes nearly shot out of his head as his bowtie spun on its own, with steam shooting out of his ears. 'K-k-k-k-kissing!'
'Oh I've waited so long for this~' She thought, humming as she massaged his lips with her own, leading to the poor cherub passing out, with Nifty going on without missing a beat.
(Later)
"Awwwwww." Charlie gushed with her hands on her cheeks, Vaggie beside her looking surprised.
"Damn, that is...wow."
"Nice going short stack, hit me up if you and the cyclops are up for a threeway~" Angel chuckled.
"Looks like the kid does have balls." remarked Husk.
"Indeed, I hope for his sake he doesn't do anything foolish to lose them." Alistor said calmly.
Collin and Nifty were sitting on a couch, with said girl literally having her arms and legs wrapped around him, holding him close with a smile with him blushing, but smiling.
"Nice going Collin!"
"Yeah, just be careful, she's dangerous!" Dazzle and Razzle called, standing behind Charlie.
"Oh come on you two." remarked said girl. "They look adorable together."
"T-Thanks.." Collin said with a blush. 'How…how does this feel better than heaven? I hope Cletus and Keenie are enjoying life down here as much as I am.'
"FLY FASTER CLETUS!"
"I'M TRYING! THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER!"
Both cherubs, looking dirty and roughed up, flew down the street while a gang of hellhounds chased after them and looking REAL pissed.
"Get the little shits, I'll rip them apart myself!"
"Forget that! I'm gonna roast their wings and soak them in hot sauce!"
"Oh god, all the stories in Heaven were true, this is hell on earth!"
"Cletus, I know I swore I wouldn't swear, BUT IF I EVER SEE DEARIE, I'M GOING TO FUCKING TEAR HER HEAD OUT THROUGH HER CUNT!"
"SECONDED!"