With infinite care, the Doctor carried Rose inside the TARDIS, back to her room, and lay her gently down onto her bed, where her body sank into the familair softness. More than anything, he wanted to sweep her up into his arms and hold her tightly to him. To have the scent of her possess his mind, so that he could know the wonder of her again, like a forgotten childhood story. But he couldn't do that. It wasn't safe, she was still so... delicate. He would only hurt her, and he'd never forgive himself if he did that - again. So instead he brushed her hair away from her face a little, yet even in that smallest touch he was unable to prevent his fingers from stealing the softest caress from her cheek. She didn't feel cold anymore.
She moaned slightly, and he trembled, remembering the very last time he'd heard her make that sound. Fear tightened like a knot within him, but he swallowed it back down.
Her eyes opened, and she stared at him. How long had it been since she had done that? He tried to remember, but couldn't, he was so dazed by the perfect curiosity within their depths. He grinned at her. He couldn't contain his joy. Like a tidal wave it washed away his fear and pain. Rose was looking at him. Eyes wide and bright. His hearts beat hard in his chest, and his love for her swept through him, unchecked. These past few days he had lived in the darkest despair, but now he was soaring into a bright sky.
"Oh Rose..."
He reached out to touch her face, but she flinched, even before the touch came. At once understanding that it was too soon, the Doctor let his hand fall back, to lie still on the soft bed. He looked away for a second. How could he have been stupid enough to think that he could just... make things right with a touch. He should have known better. What he had done to her. What he had said. It would take time for her to forgive him. He realised at that moment, that her forgivness was not something he could entirely be sure of. She may never look at him with those soft sweet eyes again. But of course that had been what he had wanted - then. So really he had no one to blame but himself. At least she was alive, and that warmed his hearts enough. To ask for more, so soon, was selfish. He would wait. He would treat her with patience and gentleness. Whatever it took, to win back her heart, he would do. And this time he would keep it safe.
His gaze returned to Rose. She had pulled herself up a little, so that she was now almost sitting. She watched him with dark, intense, smoke brown eyes. And the Doctor adored her. He smiled softly. But then he saw that she was holding her hand pressed at her wounded side, and fear swept through him like an old friend. All his fine plans about how careful he would be were forgotten, and he took hold of Roses hand, pulling it away even though she tried not to let him. He slipped a hand under her top, carefully moving the clothing up slightly. His sharp eyes saw the fresh stain of blood creeping through the bandage.
"Damn." He carefully removed the covering, as Rose winced with the pain she was trying to ignore. Her concentration fixed on him as he stood up quickly and took charge. "Stay there and don't move!" Was his firm instruction. "I mean it Rose."
She knew that he did, and nodded silently. She glanced at the wound, and for a second could not look away. It was bruised and raw, still new and sharp. She watched the blood trickle slowly from the break in the line of neat stitches that so precariously held her flesh together. But soon enough her head moved back into the softness of a pillow. She closed her eyes for a moment, the pain washing through her. Then, hearing the Doctor return to the room, and her side, she opened her eyes again. He did not look at her, but she watched him intently. Like a cat watches a mouse.
He sat next to her on the bed and with a small bowl of water and a soft cloth he washed her clean of blood, then he examined the broken line of stitches. His eyes lifted to hers."I think they'll hold. You're lucky."
He turned his attention to fixing a new covering to her wound. When it was done, he looked back to her face. "It could have been much worse. What were you thinking? You're lucky they didn't all rip open when you..." He stopped suddenly."I'm sorry." He said. "It's not you're fault. It's mine. I should have been with you. It wouldn't have happened if I'd sat with you longer." He hung his head.
Rose stared at him in silence, seeing his sadness, and feeling it touch her heart. She ran her fingers over the clean fresh covering of her wound. She chewed at her lower lip, and considered the man who sat at her side, so worn and tired. She took a small breath to speak, and on hearing it, the Doctor lifted his head.
"Rose?"
She gathered all her bravery, and found her voice. But she could not have known the look of loss that was to settle upon the Doctors face when she at last spoke. If she had, perhaps she would have chosen to remain silent.
"Who are you?"
It only took a few days before a change became apparent in Rose. Her health improved quicker than the Doctor could ever have hoped for. The medicines Ibroc regularly made for her seemed to have a miraculous effect. Even Rose, who would scowl at the cups of bitter tasting brews, understood that they were healing her, and she drank them without complaint. Well perhaps a little complaint, sometimes. But on the whole she was an excellent patient. Or so the Doctor was told. He thought it better that he did not spend his time with Rose. Telling her that she needed to rest, to heal, and his presence would only get in the way. He thought that she belived him. But of course it was a lie. The Doctor had quickly come to realise that he had to put a distance between himself and Rose, because to be near her, to look at her, and know that she did not know him, was sometimes more than he could bare. So he retreated to the TARDIS. To a place where he had known her, and loved her. A place where she had almost made him complete.
The Doctor had of course explained as much as he could to Rose. He did not tell her why she had run into the darkness that night, only that he had found her after her fall. That the knife, the knife she had carried with her, Owlers knife, had been pushed into her, somehow. Most likely as she had landed on the hard stoney ground. He had told her about what he was, about the Time War, about the loss of his world. That they were... friends. She had accepted it all with the same ease she had done the first time he had told her his story. She remembered her life before him as clearly as if she was still living it. But that was all. She did not know him, except as the man who had caught her in his arms when she had fallen.
The Doctor however could remember a time, not so very long ago, when he had held her hand in his, and promised her he would never let her fall. But Rose, did not.
Rose sat on the steps of Ibrocs house, her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, as she watched the Doctor. For the past few minutes he had been repeatedly walking back and forth, from the house to the TARDIS. He would leave the house with arm fulls of books, go into the TARDIS, be gone for a few minutes, then reappear, to walk back into Ibrocs house, bringing out yet more books. Rose thought that he must have repeated the journey at least five times so far, and each time he had passed her on the step, he hadn't once looked at her. She waited till he had come out of the TARDIS doors one more time, heading toward her, his head bowed. He had almost reached her when she spoke.
"What are you doing?"
He stopped in his tracks, lifting his head and looking at her. "Putting the books back in the TARDIS library." He said, as though it was obvious.
"Why?"
"Time to go." He said simply. He passed her on the step again, disappearing into the house. Which at least gave Rose time to think.
"Go where?" She asked, standing up and facing him, when he reappeared again.
"Anywhere." The Doctor said simply, as a thick glossy magazine slipped off the top of the current pile of books in his arms.
Rose bent down and picked it up, tearing off the free mascara from the cover and pushing it into the back pocket of her jeans, then dropping the magazine back on top of the books in the Doctors arms. "I love the freebies." She smiled at him. "What if I don't wan't to go?"
The Doctor stood and stared at her. It took him a second to remember to breathe. "You don't have a choice." He said firmly, and disappeared back into the TARDIS.
Her mouth slightly open, Rose gazed after the Doctor. It took a minute or so for what he had just said to sink in. Then she followed him inside the TARDIS.
She bumped straight into the Doctor as she charged into the control room, her hands spreading out against his leather jacket for a second, as his hands rested at her hips. She looked up into his eyes, and for a second she forgot to breathe. Their bodies parted far too quickly, and Rose wondered why it was her heart was racing. She looked at the Doctor from under her lashes, and she felt a thrill of satisfaction to see that he appeared... shaken. An unbidden smile flickered to life at her lips.
"Do you remember the way to your room?" He asked suddenly.
She looked up. "Not really..."
"Oh well, no hurry. I'll show you later." He made to pass her, to walk back out through the doors. But she stood her ground.
"What do you mean...I don't have a choice?"
He looked, restless, unwilling even. "Just what it says on the tin." He said at last. "You came, you saw, you fell off a cliff - time to go."
"I like it here. I don't want to go."
The Doctor froze. The words cutting him, chilling him to the bone. He stared into her eyes, searching them. "If you stay here... you'll die." He said at last. "Sooner rather than later, and there's no way of stopping it."
Rose shook her head."What are you talking about?"
"There's a lot you don't know about this planet. Things you should know before deciding to settle down to a life of bliss with pointy stick boy." He couldn't help the tone of jealousy that slipped into his voice.
Rose sighed. "What is it with you and Owler? You're always... glaring at eachother."
"I doesn't matter - we're going." He tried again to walk past her, but Rose grabbed his arm.
"I does matter. I want to know."
The Doctor looked at her. She had the right to know, he thought, the right to choose. However much he wanted to, he could not take that from her. He nodded bleakly, and Rose waited.
"If you stay on Harku... then you'll die. No-one lives to a ripe old age here. Especilly off worlders."
"What are you talking about? Ibrocs at least..."
"Twelve." The Doctor finished for her. "Not a bad age for a Harkun. They don't tend to live past fourteen. But it's a good life. Owlers four, if you're interested. The same age as Ibroc was when I first met him. That would have been about the time we started to plant the Tree Temples"
Dazed, Rose stared at the Doctor. She shook her head in disbelief. "No. Those trees have to be at least..."
"A little over eight years old." The Doctor said. "This is a beautiful world Rose, a paradise. But the life cycle of this world is unique to its people. That's why it's remained a paradise while other worlds are spoilt and over populated, polluted to the point of almost self extinction. No other race could settle on Harku Rose, because eventually, after eating it's food, drinking it's water, breathing it's air - they would become like the Harkuns. They would age before their time, and die within a few years."
"But... but we've been here..."
"Long enough... but not enough to make any change."
Rose's eyes gleamed with tears. "Owlers mother..." She wispered softly.
The Doctor nodded. "She was an off worlder. She fell in love with Ibroc and chose to remain on Harku. She died before her time"
A tear fell to Roses cheek. "Can't you... isn't there something you can do?"
"It's in blood and bone Rose. It's who and what they are. I can't change it, anymore than I could change the lifespan of a... butterfly."
"They're all going to die" Rose said in quiet acceptance.
"Everything dies Rose... but their children will grow, and their children and their children."
Rose nodded. "I understand."
"So you'll come with me." The Doctor let out a sigh of relief. Then he fixed Rose with a slow warm smile. "You've not seen the Urgah system yet, have you... maybe we could go there next. They have casinos there that put Vegas to shame - you'll love it."
"I'm sorry Doctor, I can't." Rose looked into his face and knew that whatever she said, however she tried to dress it up, he would see straight through it, so she steeled herself, and decided to tell him the truth. However much it might hurt him. "I don't know you. I can't remember you. I believe everything you've told me. That I travel with you, that we had all those... adventures. And it's not that I don't trust you, cos I do. I know we were friends."
Friends? The Doctor closed his eyes for a second. Why did that word hurt so much? "What is it Rose?"
"I don't remember any of it." She said at last. "If I can't stay here, then..." She smiled a soft sweet smile that killed the Doctor a hundred times over. "I want to go home. To Earth."
The Powell Estate was unusually quiet. Only a barking dog, and the occasional passing car disturbed the restful darkness. It was close to midnight and the air was cool. The moon was hidden behind heavy grey clouds, so the only light there was came from the street lamps - the ones that were still working. No-one noticed the arrival of the strange blue box, that appeared out of no-where. No-one but the barking dog heard the song of its wirring, grinding, heart beat.
Rose had forgotten her key. So they rang the bell of flat 48 Bucknall House, and waited. The lights came on inside the flat, one after the other, until finally they heard the door being unlocked. It opened a crack, no more, a chain stopping it. Then Jackie Tylers eyes peered out.
"Oh my God, Rose!" The door closed, its chain ripped away, then it swung open wide, as Jackie wrapped Rose into her arms and began sqeezing the life out of her. Suddenly she pushed her daughter to arms length and stared into her eyes. "What's wrong? Are we being attacked by aliens again? Please say were not, cos I've only just got the last bit of Slitheen stain off the kitchen ceiling!"
Rose bit her lip. Her smile wide. "No aliens Mum. Promise."
Jackie looked the Doctor up and down, disaprovingly. "Except him." She said, tugging at Roses hand. "Come in then." She frowned slightly. "What happend to your head?"
Rose touched her forehead, her fingers brushing over the run of stitches. She smiled slowly. "Nothing."
The Doctor didn't follow Rose, he couldn't. She was home now, and he didn't belong. "Jackie." He said suddenly. Jackie and Rose turned around to look at him. He swallowed hard. "I've brought Rose home."
Jackie looked at him for a long time, then she did something that she had never done before, and the Doctor hoped she would never do again. She kissed him.
Rose stared into the Doctors eyes, as she leant against the door. She smiled. "You sure you won't come in?"
"Positive." The Doctor nodded. "Far too dangerous."
Rose grinned. "She wont kiss you again... really she won't."
The Doctor smiled slightly. "What are you going to tell her?"
"Not much... she'll only worry."
A silence fell between them, but eventually the Doctor found the words to break it. "I have to go Rose." He looked at her face. "It's time."
"Will I see you again?" She asked, hopefully.
He shook his head. "No."
"Never?"
"No."
"Not even for.."
"No."
She looked away for a second, then looked back, her eyes shining with tears. She stepped towards him, her hands gently moving to rest at his shoulders, as she leant in slowly to kiss him. But before she could, the Doctor pulled away, his hands pushing her back from him. Rose stepped back, surprised and confused. He stood looking at her for as long as he could, then smiled from both his hearts, offering Rose his hand. She took it cautiously, and gazed into his eyes, seeing in that one moment all the wonders of the universe that he had ever gazed upon.
"Goodbye Rose Tyler." He said softly. "Have a fantastic life."