Crazy trouble with love part 9
Shirou x Fairy Knight Tristan/Baobhan Sith
Series: Fate Stay
xxxxxxxxxxxx
-Earth, Japan, Fuyuki City, Emiya Residence-
BEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEP!
"Ugh..." groaned a voice, whose body, currently under a blanket, was slowly coming to thanks to their alarm clock.
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
"Ugh...need to sleep..."
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
"Don't wanna..."
BEEP BEEP-
BAM!
"Sleep." groaned the figure while going back to sleep.
BAM!
"SHIROU!" yelled Taiga while rushing in and jumped on the bed, landing on the boy's stomach. "WAKE UP!"
"GAH!" he cried out, sitting up before growling and shoved her off. "Get off me!"
"No! You have to make breakfast!"
"I'm sleeping!" He frowned while throwing a pillow at her.
"Shirou!" She huffed before getting an idea. "Well ok, but it is already eleven in the morning, the shop isn't open at all and the customers will be pissed if they don't get any new shoes~"
"...you're fucking with me, aren't you?"
"Nope. It's already eleven."
"...SHIT!" He yelled, jumping out of bed in a hurry. "Why didn't you wake me up sooner?!"
"Because you threw a pillow at me, duh." Taiga teased while Shirou started getting ready for work, although she did see his groin due to his preference to sleep in the nude. "Have fun last night?"
"TAIGA-NEE!"
"I kid, I kid." She chuckled while Shirou went to get his clothes on.
(Later)
Shirou grumbled while putting on a black jacket, feeling a little annoyed about Taiga waking up and getting himself late for his craft.
That craft...making shoes.
No joke, that is his job, creating shoes for the city, but not just any kind of shoe, but ones infused with magic circuits, capable of a variety of special skills and powers that could be used in war or, his favorite preference, peace times.
Yes it sounds weird for a mage with the ability to create ANY weapon imaginable, within reason, but he just found it was a good idea, plus mages LOVE his work, given the craftsmanship and interesting abilities on par with magic eyes and crests. In just a few years, he had amassed a large fortune in the business of magical footwear.
Not to mention, shoes or not, they DO play a vital role in everyday living, otherwise everyone would go around barefoot, which can be distracting and annoying.
Plus it's not like he can make weapons for a living, it's illegal.
So yeah, he's a shoemaker mage, and it paid very well.
"Don't forget to come home after nine!" Taiga called out from the other room. "We don't need you falling asleep on the products again."
"That was ONE time!"
"And you had nails on your forehead, for two days."
"No comment." He muttered before walking out of the house.
(Later)
-Miyama Town, Mount Miyama, Emyia Shoes-
Shirou grumbled while opening the door to his small shop, a large stack of unfinished shoes lining the backroom as he turned the 'Open' sign around. "Another day, and a dozen more nails in the hand."
As he moved towards the backroom, he noticed that said pile of shoes...were about three feet tall.
"...shit." he muttered in disbelief. "This is gonna take all day, if I'm lucky."
Ding ding.
"Give me my sandals!" yelled Shinji as he stormed into the room.
BAM!
Only to get hit in the face with a hammer, by a very annoyed Shirou.
"Wait until later!" he snapped in frustration. "I've got way more stuff to deal with first."
"Ah! Why-OW!" Shinji yelled while getting kicked out of the store.
"Come back later!"
SLAM!
"Dumbass." He grumbled while going back to work.
(A few hours later)
"UGH!" Shirou groaned in frustration as he was currently putting a sole on a high heel, the thousandth one in seven hours. "This is what I get for being lazy on the weekend."
As he continued to hammer-in the sole, Shirou looked at the clock and groaned.
"The day is almost over and I have a lot of work to finish." he huffed while hammering away with the shoe. "Maybe I should consider hiring help."
But as he moved the hammer away from the second nail and went to get another one.
SQUISH!
"AH!" Shirou cried out as a nail stabbed him right on the thumb, drawing blood in the process. "Son of a bitch!"
As the blood dripped onto the shoes, the man cursed and pulled the nail out of his thumb.
"Fuck!" he hissed in pain. "Now I gotta disinfect this, I need a vacation."
But as he went to get a first aid kit, he didn't notice that one of the shoes he made, one coated in red, absorbed the blood and it's magic circuits activated with a blue flash of light.
WOOOSH!
And instantly, a short pale gray skinned woman with long red hair that went to her hips and became pale gray near the tips, light gray eyes, pointed ears, a D cup chest and small ass, long red nails, small black earrings, a ring of black diamond-like marks around her neck, wearing a long shoulderless pale red dress that went down to her hips, a thick white collar with a white frills in the center, a black bow, long pale red sleeved that puffed up near the elbows and ended near the base of the palm in a V shaped cuff, black lines on the sides of the dress with red corset strings near the stomach, a white frill in the center that went down from her chest to her stomach, a red belt with a pale gold buckle, a white skirt surrounded by two long pale red trail that zigzagged three times near the sides before ending near her ankles, white lace floral patterns near the upper knee area, long black leggings that went up to her upper knees, two red criss crossed bands over her right thigh, long thigh high red laced high heels with two curved crescents on the sides of her thighs, and had a small black crown hanging vertically on her head as three black spikes were framed in the center, appeared on the table, sitting on it as she looked rather...confused.
Although when Shirou entered the room and saw her...he froze in surprise.
"Uh...he...llo?"
She smirked while giving off an aura of arrogance. "Oh a human, what a pathetic bug you are."
Shirou narrowed his eyes as the girl chuckled at him.
"No wait, what trash you are." she smirked while continuing to laugh. "Kyahahahahahahahaha!"
"Lady, if you aren't here to buy shoes, then get out." He frowned before seeing the girl jump off the table and stabbed his foot with her left heel, causing him to scream in pain due to the heel being a real blade. "AHHHHH!"
"So rude, I'm royalty." she frowned while twisting the blade down. "Now try speaking to me nicely and I might not curse you too much~"
He cried out in more pain before decking her, knocking her back and off as he hopped on his other foot, holding the other. "Kami above!"
"Ow." the girl groaned before glaring at Shirou. "Hey! What the hell was that for!? How dare you hurt me! A royal Fairy Knight AND a princess!" 'Stupid mortal. I'll curse him so much he'll be screaming like a pig!'
"You're the one coming in here, insulting me, and STABBING MY FOOT!"
"Because you were rude, duh." she frowned while Shirou noticed a black three pronged diamond tattoo on his right middle nail. "And you deserve a hex for punching me in the face!"
"Save it while I get my foot bandaged up." Shirou growled while the girl narrowed her eyes.
"Apologize to me or else."
"You first." He frowned in annoyance.
"You first, human."
"It's Shirou."
"Yeah yeah." she said with disinterest before noticing something that sparked her interests.
A pair of finely crafted white high heeled shoes with a single skull etched into the toe.
"Ah! Such perfect shoes~!" she said with a genuinely happy tone, surprising Shirou in the process as the girl grabbed them and examined them. "The color, the fine leather, oh? It has magic circuits too!? I thought only mother could make such masterpieces!?"
'What's up with this wacko?' Shirou thought while his foot healed up, thanks to his own magic circuits going into overtime.
"Who made these masterpieces?!"
"Me."
"...you?"
"Yes, me, can't you hear?"
"...you? Made these? A human."
"Yeah."
"..." she looked at the shoes, then at Shirou before chuckling. "That's funny, you're funny."
"What's so funny?"
"A simple human isn't capable of using magic." She chuckled. "That's impossible~"
"And what makes you say that?"
"Humanity isn't capable of magi-" she tried to say before seeing Shirou summon a knife from his left hand. "...oh, so yours mage?" 'Like that black haired brat from Chaldea? Ugh, is he a goody two shoes? Hate them!'
"You were saying?"
"Ugh."
"Let me guess, a servant?"
"Yes, Archer. Fairy Knight Tristan-"
"No, you're a Baobhan Sith." Shirou deadpanned while the girl gasped in disbelief.
"How do you know my True Name?!"
"The fangs." He said while pointing to her long fangs. "And the fact you have elf ears."
"You little-"
"Now that we've got that out of the way, leave my store."
"And why should I?"
"Because I'm not interested in a Holy Grail War. I'm a shoemaker, I need time to work on my craft." he deadpanned. "Plus, you are absolutely rude."
"Oi! You can't treat me like that, I'm a lady." she frowned while Shirou deadpanned.
"With no tact."
"I do have tact!"
"How?"
The girl frowned before coughing. "Simple, I can be 'good' natured...but that's too gross so you'll get none from me. Kyahahahaha~!"
He deadpanned while grabbing her by the waist and threw her out of the shop, well attempting to as she quickly grabbed him and threw herself back into the shop, landing on the floor with the grace of a ballerina. "Hey!"
"Oh? You thought you could get rid of me that easily, you better try harder, shoemaker."
"Oh you wanna play that game? Alright, I'm game." He frowned before-
GROWL~!
He heard someone's stomach growling, noticing that the girl's face turned bright red in embarrassment.
"I-Ignore that!"
"Kinda hard to hear your stomach crying out for food."
"S-Shut-"
GROWL~!
"Point taken." Shirou deadpanned while the girl glared at him. "Still, I'll feed you. But you need to be nice."
"I'm not into 'being nice'."
"Then I'm going to kick you out."
"You brut-"
GROWL~!
"Quiet stomach!" she yelled in embarrassment, reminding Shirou of a less tactful Rin in the process.
"Ok, out you go then." Shirou deadpanned before picking her up and placed her on his left shoulder.
"Hey! Knock it off!" she yelled while flailing about. "Let me go!"
SLAM!
"Bye!" he called before tossing her outside as he closed and locked the door. 'That was close.'
(Later)
-Emiya Residence-
"Taiga-nee, I'm ho..." he called out before noticing that Baobhan Sith was standing right next to him, just as Taiga walked to the front door. "YOU!?"
"You can't get rid of me that easily, human." she smirked with arrogance. "If I'm going to be your 'servant', then I'm going to play the role to the best of MY talents~"
"Forget it. I said it before. I'm a shoemaker, not a master, go find some other magus who will be it."
"Yeah, no." she deadpanned. "I'm not leaving until either you die or until you create the most beautiful shoes in the world, worthy of my status."
He looked at her blankly before turning to Taiga. "Taiga, call the cops."
"Um...why?" she asked with a blank expression on her face, as Baobhan Sith walked into the house.
"She's an intruder, duh." Shirou deadpanned as Baobhan Sith walked towards the couch and sat on it.
"Feed me, human trash."
"No. Get out."
"Why?"
"Because you're a tactless brat!"
"Hey! I'm more than a brat!"
"Yeah, then tell me!"
"I'm a witch, master of black magic." she frowned while Shirou blinked in surprise. "Meaning I can hex you into nothin-"
GROWL~!
"GAH! Stop ruining my charisma stomach!" she yelled in embarrassment.
"Wow, that's worse than mine." chuckled Taiga.
"Oh be quiet, human!" Baobhan Sith huffed in embarrassment as Taiga chuckled in amusement.
"We should keep her." she said to Shirou with a smirk. "She seems ok in my books, a lot of spunk in her."
"She also stabbed my foot." he deadpanned.
"Wait what?" she said with wide eyes as Baobhan Sith looked at Shirou with a smirk.
"Shoemaker."
"What now?"
"I have a commision for you." she said with a smirk. "I want you to make the most beautiful shoes in the world, for me that is."
"And why should I?"
"Because I love shoes, it's the only thing that humanity has EVER made that interests me. Everything else is boring~" She chuckled. "So I want to remake my collection of shoes, starting with the best shoes made by you, mister shoemaker."
"...shoes. Out of everything in the world, shoes are the only thing that interests you."
"Yep." she said with a nod. "And any fairy foot I amputate from them...there ARE fairies here right?"
Shirou blinked while seeing the girl's expression shift from confident to scared and then sadistic pleasure in an instant, making him realize she might be a little...nuts. "Um...not that I know of."
"Good, we don't need those selfish specks of dirt here." she said while waving her hand a little, seemily brushing the previous notion of fairies aside like an annoying fly. "So, will you take my commission?"
"Yes."
"Go-"
"Is what I would say if I was dumb. The real answer is hell no."
"...why!?" she yelled in disbelief.
"You've acted entitled since we met! And put a hole in my foot! Go ask someone else to make you shoes!"
"Nah." she said with a shug, making Shirou a little annoyed. "You have some talent in the craft, besides if I left and went elsewhere, I would just kill anyone I don't like or tolerate."
"Still-"
"She can stay." Taiga smiled, shocking Shirou in the process. "As long as she helped out."
"Meh." Baobhan Sith said with a deadpan expression. "Working isn't my passion, why hel-"
Taiga smiled while walking over to her and gave her a very scary glare. "You will help Shirou out, right?"
She gulped before frowning a little. "And what is in it for me?"
'I don't like this.' Shirou thought while Taiga moved her head near Baobhan Sith's ear and whispered.
"A place to stay, some food and all the shoes you'll ever need. Shirou has a lot of leftovers stored away."
"..."
"So, will you play nice?"
She sighed. "Perhaps, but on my own terms."
GROWL~!
"...and once I get some food."
"Good enough for me!" Taiga smirked while pointing to Shirou. "Shirou! Start up the oven, we have a guest to feed!"
"No." He deadpanned before seeing Taiga's glare facing his direction.
"What was that?"
"Hey, I'm the one paying on this house, so trying that on me won't work."
"What? You're paying the house? Ha, I'm the one that pays for it." Taiga said while growling, causing Shirou to realize that he just fucked up. "Now we are keeping her and if you want to 'talk' about it, then take it to the dojo."
'Shit, I just made her pissed! And she's dangerous when pissed!' he paled. "B-But she'll just cause issues!"
"And you don't?"
"I don't cause issues!"
"Like the time you punched Sakura in the face, thinking she was an intruder in your shop?"
"It was an accident!"
"Look, we are keeping her and that's final. If I hear anymore complaints, I'm taking the shop back, given that I was the one to lend you it in the first place."
"Oh yeah? Well then what's to stop me from going off to find my own place? Who will do all the cooking for you?"
Taiga sighed before bonking on the head. "Kami, just stop being so damn stubborn! Just help her out and who knows, she MIGHT change her tune."
He groaned in pain while seeing Baobhan Sith chuckling at his misery, making him frown as the girl smirked at him. "Fine! But when this comes back to bite us in the bite, don't say I didn't warn you."
"Good puppy." Baobhan Sith said with a chuckle. "Don't start."
(Later on)
BAM!
"Ah!" Shirou cried out while currently using the toilet, just as Baobhan Sith kicked the door down with her left foot.
"Shoemaker, time..." she stared at him before turning pink and quickly ran off, embarrassed.
'Damn her!'
(A bit later)
"Not cool." Shirou frowned while Baobhan Sith was busy sitting on his bed, looking away from him and right at the window.
"Not my fault you were busy dethicating like a common animal." she said with a light blush, still a little mortified at the act she did moments ago.
"It was locked."
"And I needed to see you, is that a crime?"
"Ever heard of knocking?" He deadpanned as the girl shrugged.
"Yes, but why ask for permission when I can just knock the door down and get it over with."
'Ugh, is she one of THOSE girls? The ones that live in the moment?' he thought with a groan.
"So, anyway. Time for you to make some shoes."
"Not now, I'm trying to get ready for bed."
She huffed while pouting a little. "Boring."
"It's called sleep, ever heard of it?"
"I have, but watching you sleep is boring." she said while looking out the window. "It's like watching paint dry."
"So then don't watch." Shirou deadpanned before seeing Baobhan Sith getting under the blankets. "Hey!"
"Read me a story, shoemaker~"
"No way! Get out of there!" He yelled while she frowned.
"Sorry, but I want a story." she pouted with false cuteness.
"Why? You're a grown woman, aren't you?" Shirou deadpanned while Baobhan Sith glared.
"Just humor me, human." she frowned while looking rather annoyed at this human's disrespectful attitude.
"Ugh, fine, one story. Once upon a time there was a guy named Jack, he didn't wanna climb a big beanstalk and get crushed by a giant, so he lived in the end, the end."
"...you're a bad storyteller." she deadpanned while Shirou picked her up and threw her out of the room. "HEY!"
"Goodnight!"
SLAM!
'I really don't like her.' he thought with a grumble while not seeing Baobhan Sith looking at the door...rather sadly.
'...asshole.' she thought before walking away. 'I'll curse him for this.'
(Later)
Shirou groaned while waking up in his bed, feeling...a little guilty for throwing Baobhan Sith out of his room.
The reason, he really felt like an ass for responding negatively to the girl's 'arrogant' nature, which in turn wasn't the best choice in those situations. He could've just ignored her or just played to her childish antics, but instead, he just threw her like a ragdoll, multiple times in one day.
In his mind, he was acting more like Shinji than normal...and he HATED it.
'Ugh, now I've got a bad taste in my mouth. Should have brushed.' he grumbled while getting up, feeling extremly stupid for acting like an asshole to a random stranger. 'I really need to apologize.'
But as he got out of bed, he noticed something.
Baobhan Sith, sitting right on the edge of the bed, holding a poppy doll in one hand and a large nail in the other.
"Oh, you're awake." she said flatly, throwing the doll and nail away. "How wonderful."
"Uh...why were you holding those? And how long have you been sitting there?"
"Oh since last night." she said with a shug. "And those things, nothing to worry about~"
'That makes me scared for my life!' He thought as the girl smirked at him.
"So, are you going to feed me now?"
"What are you, a dog?"
"No, that's your job, puppy."
'Calm down, don't let her rile me up.'
She jumped off the bed and walked out of the room. "I'll be waiting~"
"Yeah yeah." He grumbled while making a mental note to just humor the girl.
(Later)
"..."
"What a good throne." Baobhan Sith smiled while currently sitting on Shirou's lap, right as Taiga decided to eat her breakfast as well.
"Why are you sitting there?"
"Because it's better than the chair." she said flatly. "Plus it's fun."
'For who?!''He thought as Baobhan Sith began stealing his fried egg with a fork.
"Mmmm~ Tasty~"
"I know right? Shirou's great at cooking." Taiga smiled while eating some toast.
Shirou felt some pride at that while the girl blinked and stared at him.
"Huh, a shoemaker and a cook? What a surprise." she said while stealing the boy's bacon. "You're being raised from trash to bug. Maybe a ladybug, given your more...motherly traits."
'Damn her, I'm not motherly!'
"So, are you going to make my shoes after this?"
"If it means you get off your high horse, fine."
She deadpanned at him before stealing another egg. "You won't get a wife if you keep acting like an ass."
"Hey! I'm not trying to find a wife." Shirou blushed as Taiga tisked in amusement.
"Not with that attitude you're not."
"Taiga-nee!"
"What? She is right about that part, you are kinda an ass."
"And she's not?!"
"Meh, I'm not even part donkey." the Archer class servant deadpanned.
"That's not the point!"
"Just eat." Baobhan Sith deadpanned while stealing his toast. 'This is so delicious!'
Shirou groaned while looking at Taiga and saw her smiling face. 'Ugh, I know she's a teacher and VERY tolerant to bad students...but this is ridiculous that she lets it slide! Gah...calm down, just calm down. Maybe she's just trying to be a good person and punish her if she does anything too drastic...ugh. Now I feel like an ass for getting upset, again.'
'Good, she's not trying anything bad.' Taiga thought with a smile. 'But it worries me that this girl is bratty, did her parents forget to add some discipline to her?'
'So tasty~'
(Some time later)
"Ok." Taiga said while looking at Baobhan Sith, who seemed a little bored at the moment. "I've let you slide today with the attitude due to you being so cute."
"Thanks."
"But." she said with a sigh while pointing to the sink, full of dirty plates. "You still have to help out around the house."
"...why?" Baobhan Sith asked with a flat expression on her face.
"Because we made it clear before, that you would help out if you were gonna stay here, that means doing chores. Those who don't work, don't eat. And since you already ate, now comes the work part."
"Oh."
"Oh what?"
"Oh, so you want me to clean? Do dishes? Clean the house. Do some cooking?" Baobhan Sith asked with sarcasm.
"Well yeah."
"Nah." she said with a smirk. "If I were to do all of that, I'd let the servants do all of it."
Taiga grumbled before pulling the girl's left ear.
"OW OW OW OW!"
"Wanna repeat that!?"
"OW OW OW! You brute!"
"Wrong answer!" Taiga yelled while Baobhan Sith cried in pain.
"OW! Unhand my ear!"
"Are you gonna listen and do the chores?"
"OW! Let go!"
"Then do the chores!"
"NO!"
"Then I don't let go."
"OW!" the servant cried out while Taiga pulled harder. "Stop, stop! You're going to rip it!"
"It's your choice if you want it to stop."
"OW!" She yelled in pain. "Stop that you damn human-YEOW!"
"I can do this all day!"
"YEOW!"
(Some time later)
"I hate you." grumbled Baobhan Sith while currently washing the dishes with a scowl on her face. "I hate you so much."
"Less talking, more washing."
"Yeah yeah." she grumbled while scrubbing some dried gunk off a plate. 'This never happened to me when mother was around, nor when those shitty fairies did them for me. Bastards, all of them!'
"Remember to make sure to wash all the soap off, otherwise the food will taste awful."
She grumbled while Taiga smirked with glee behind her. 'Damn you.'
(Later)
Baobhan Sith, currently on Shirou's lap on the couch, looked at his confused face with a bored expression. "When are you going to make my shoes?"
"When are you going to get off my lap?"
"When you make my shoes. Duh."
"Yeah…no."
"Why!?"
"Because I'm not interested or inspired in any way." he deadpanned.
"...then let me inspire you."
"How?"
She smirked. "Oh you know, death, kicking the weak in the shins, cutting their feet, the works. I have ways of 'inspiring' others."
"...that's not going to help. At all."
"Well it's either my way, or no way at all, shoemaker."
"It's Shirou, you have a name, so do I, so use it."
"I might, when you give me my shoes." she frowned, making Shirou groan in frustration.
"Not happening. Besides, why should I make you one of my shoes? What does a fairy need with shoes anyway?"
"For fun, duh." she said with a shug. "To show off, wear, be fashionable and prove my superiority with."
"And you think wearing my shoes is going to make a huge difference?"
"Yep."
"...why?"
She grinned while pointing to a stack of finished high heels shoes on a table, one that Shiou was going to sell to Sakura. "Because they are masterpieces, a perfect blend of magic circuits, shoewear and style. No one has ever tried to make such masterpieces before or since."
"Are you exaggerating? And how do YOU know about magic circuits anyway?"
"Nope, and I learned from a shitty master that popped up, claiming to be my mother's 'husband'. Infatuated with him too…but I don't like him now and as of right now, hate him. Anyway, I know because I'm one of only two fairies in the Fairy Kingdom, besides my mother, to know witchcraft, the dark magics."
"..." 'Well that explains the nail. Witchcraft and curses.'
"So, now that I praised you, I expect you to make my shoes now."
He groaned and facepalmed. "Fine! But if you don't do a better job at inspiring me they'll come out bad, unless that's what you want."
"Ok." she said while jumping off his lap. "But first, do you need run of the mill 'wholesome' inspiration or hardcore inspiration?"
"What's the difference?"
"It depends on you." she smirked while eyeing Shirou's body. "Are you a sadist, or a masochist? Or even a sadomasoch-"
"N-Neither!" he blushed. "What kinda person do you take me for?! I'm not into any of that!"
"Ah. So me sticking nails into your body and hammering them in won't help?" She said with genuine disappointment in her tone.
"NO! Not at all! That'll do the opposite!"
"Ooooh….so you're one of those people. Well, I can't get a bear sui-"
"I'm not a furry!"
"A what? I was going to say get a bear suit to put the tiger in and then light it up. Seeing others suffer is funny, especially with fire~" she said with a giggle.
He paled and slowly backed up from her. 'That's insane! How has she not snapped and burned this place down!?'
But as he thought about it, a sudden thought clicked into his head.
'Wait….maybe she did snap?!'
"So want me to give you the boring wholesome inspiration, shoemaker?"
"Uh, before that, you mind telling me more about this 'mother' of yours?"
"Oh ok, she's the queen of the Fairy Nation, Morgan." She smiled while Shirou's eyes widened. "She lived for a few thousand years and killed a lot of fairies because they were unreliable and shitty. Oh and she adopted me for some reason...I can't recall~" 'I'm not telling him the truth! He's just going to laugh, like everyone else!'
"And would her husband happen to be called Arthur?"
"What, no! We aren't from Pan-Humanity! We came from another world you idiot! And who's Arthur?! Mother didn't have a husband named that! His name was Beryl Gut."
"Wait….you mean the insane werewolf imprisoned at the Clock Tower?!" He yelled one horror.
"Yep~"
'Shit! How did he get out?! That guy is a human killing machine, and insane as well!' He thought before realizing that if this fairy's words were true, then she is from another world and the werewolf was still in his cell, aka not the one she was mentioning. 'Ugh, I hate metaphysics.'
"So want me to go on or give you some inspiration for my shoes?" She asked with a yawn. "Because I'm bored right now."
"Then go take a nap."
"And miss out on the shoes? Nope~"
He deadpanned. "No nails?"
"Nope, just disgusting wholesome vanilla crap." She said while gagging a little.
"Then tell me."
She smirked before snapping her fingers, causing her to disappear in a cloud of purple smoke.
"COUGH!"
Only to reappear in the form of a short pale gray skinned woman with long red hair that went to her hips and became pale gray near the tips, light gray eyes, pointed ears, a F cup chest and small ass, long black nails on her hands and toes, five small black diamond shaped marks above her stomach, long black chain-like earrings, wearing a shoulderless dark purple top that was held together by a pale gold strap near the neck which also exposed the sides of her breasts and her stomach, lower shoulder length dark purple sleeves that ended near her palms and had five long pedal shaped fabric near the top of the sleeves, two small dark purple bands in between the sleeves, pale gold spiked bands with a single pale gold circular hoop above the wrists, a long dark purple shroud that went down to her knees and was lined with pale gold designs, a large black seven pointed crown with two curved cross shaped points going around the head towards her forehead, two dark purple bands on her lower thighs, a V shaped dark purple panties, black ankle length high heels with a single curved heel in the back and an inwardly curved toe, thick black curved tendrils near the back and front of the feet that held the foot in place, as she smirked with glee.
"Tada. Meet casual Baobhan Sith, my preferred attire~" she said while cupping her breasts a little. "Like what you see~?"
Shirou blushed and turned his head. "D-Don't try to distract me like that!"
"What? I'm trying to inspire you, shoemaker." She deadpanned. "All great artists are inspired by attractive ladies. It comes with the name~"
'Right, her species are fairies that drink blood and inspire artists.' He thought while looking at her body. "Aren't you cold?"
"Nope~"
GROWL~!
She blushed red while holding her stomach in embarrassment. 'Damn it!'
"But you are hungry."
"I-Ignore that!" She yelled while Shirou grinned. "Stop that!"
"Stop what?"
"Stop grinning! It's insulting!"
GROWL~!
"Well if you're hungry, you know where the kitchen is." He said while walking away, only for her to jump on his back. "Ah!"
"Then carry me there!"
"I'm not your packmule!"
"Then stop baying and feed me!"
"Shirou, when is…." Taiga said while opening the door to his room, saw the older Archer class servant on Shirou's back and blinked before closing the door. "Sorry, didn't know you were finally getting it on-"
"TAIGA-NEE!"
(Some time later)
Baobhan Sith narrowed her eyes while looking at Shirou, currently walking to his shop, as she 'volunteered' herself to 'protect' the shoemaker.
And the reason for her anger? Another girl, Rin, was busy chatting with him while holding onto his right shoulder.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." 'Humans, I hate them!'
"Your new shoes should be done by next week Rin."
"Yes, the stilettos."
"The ones with super strength?"
"Yes. And please tell me it's red."
"Oh….I kinda made it blue."
"Shirou!"
"Mmmmmmmmmmm!" Baobhan Sith growled in frustration.
"I told you I wanted them in red."
"Sorry, I-"
"Shoemaker." the fairy growled while glaring at Rin. "She is a bitch, let's leave her alone so you can make my shoes. Not this….twig of a human."
"What did you call me!?"
"A twig, a small branch, a bug's favorite place to sit on. Take your pick and leave."
Rin glared while Shirou looked at the servant with a frown.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting a bug away from you, she isn't worth making shoes for anyway." she said with a huff. "That and I hate her face. It's so…..pure. Like she somehow never, once, did anything underhanded except with cash."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Rin frowned in confusion.
Baobhan Sith smirked while pushing her left index finger into Rin's chest. "You never had a lover~"
"W-W-What does that have to do with anything?!"
"Well." She said while pointing to Shirou. "He lets me do mana transfers, raw~"
"I give you blood, not….what you're thinking of." He blushed while the girl chuckled.
"It's way better than what the human has, which is nothing~" She smiled before Rin punched her in the face. "YEOW!"
"What I have is a mean right hook you bitch!"
She groaned before jumping onto Rin and began punching her in the face, causing both mage and servant to pummel each other on the open streets, drawing in a crowd as Shirou facepalmed at their childish antics.
'Why did she have to cut in and cause an issue? Why couldn't she have just stayed home?' he thought with a heavy sigh.
(Later)
"Ow." Baobhan Sith groaned while currently sitting on the front table, right on it to be exact, as Shirou began working on a pair of sandals. "Stupid human, punching my beautiful face for no reason other then pettiness."
"You started it."
"Because she talked with you, shoemaker." she huffed in annoyance and denial. "It's rude to talk to my property without my permission." 'Bitch, he is my shoemaker!'
"First off, I'm no one's property. Second, I was talking to her about an order she put in before you started problems with her."
She huffed as the front door opened and Shinji walked in with anger.
"I will have my-"
"Fuck off." Baobhan Sith deadpanned while interpreting the blue-haired boy's angry triade. "You're too annoying." 'And remind me of a certain Caster.'
"Why you! I'm not talking to you, so shove it!"
She narrowed her eyes. "Rude little dog, barking at your superior over nothing. Just go piss somewhere else and leave the shoemaker alone."
"Not until he makes me superior shoes!"
"And I'm not going to do it." Shirou deadpanned. "You just ruin them after a day."
"Well if you made better shoes it wouldn't happen!"
"It was made of hardened leather, that stuff lasts for years."
"Well it didn't last a day! Now make me my-" he tried to say before getting kicked in the face by Baobhan Sith's left leg.
"I told you NOT to bug the shoemaker!"
Shinji fell right down, yelping in pain as he held his chin with a hiss of pain. "You littl-"
POW!
"AH!"
"Just leave." she frowned while kicking his face again. "Or I might just use you as a stress ball."
Shirou winced as Shinji held his face and glared at them before making his way out. "I'll be out for lunch, Baobhan Sith."
"Yes?"
"Keep a good eye on the shop, and I might get you some cake."
"...with vanilla frosting?" she asked with interest.
"Sure."
She nodded as he left, not noticing that her face was very flustered and confused. 'Wait…why did I agree to that!? And…why am I happy about it!?'
(Later)
"Zzzzzz." Baobhan Sith snored while falling asleep on the table, some drool oozing down the wood onto the floor as nothing happened since her 'shoemaker' left her in charge.
That is until the door opened and Sakura walked inside, surprised and confused seeing the new girl there. "Um, excuse me."
"Zzzzz."
Sakura slowly walked in and poked the girl's cheek.
"Zzzzz….strawberries…." she muttered before opening one eye, saw Sakura staring at her, and went wide eyed as she stood up and pointed a finger at her. "WHO ARE YOU!?" 'And how did she get in here!?'
"Ah! Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!"
She narrowed her eyes. "Who are you?"
"Oh I'm Sakura, a friend of senpai."
"And who is this 'senpai'?"
"Shirou-"
"NO!" she snapped in anger while crossing her arms. "The shoemaker is MINE! Not yours!"
"Eh?!" Sakura reeled back. "W-What are you-"
"He is MINE!' she yelled while stomping her left foot down. "He isn't 'senpai' or Shirou, he's MY shoemaker. Get it? S.H.O.E.M.A.K.E.R! SHOEMAKER! So don't get any ideas of stealing him away!"
Sakura blushed and flinched as the girl got in her face. "I-I-I just came in to ask about an order."
"Likely story! But I can read your face!" she frowned while pushing her with both hands. "You love him, you love him! And it makes me sick! SICK! So walk away now before I hex you with so much curses, your hair will fall out and your brain oozes from the asshole that is YOUR FACE!" 'I will never let anyone have him! He is mine! My property, MINE!'
Sakura paled after hearing that before running out.
"YOU BETTER RUN!" she yelled as she saw Shirou bumping into Sakura, making her flitch in surprise. "Oh no."
"Sakura, are you-"
"I'm sorry senpai!" she yelled while running away quickly.
"...Baobhan Sith." he frowned while turning to the semi meekish fairy with a glare.
"Um….yes?" 'Shit.'
"What happened while I was gone?"
"Um….we were robbed?" she said sheepishly while Shirou frowned at her. "Um…the kingdom is on fire? Chaldea is invading? The fairies are revolt-"
"I want the truth! NOW!"
She gulped while Shirou moved towards her. "Um…killer strawberries?"
(Later)
Baobhan Sith sniffled while currently outside the kitchen, holding two barrels full of water in her hands and a heavy textbook on her head, Taiga watching on with her kendo stick in her left hand. "Sniff…why me?"
"No talking!"
"Sniff." 'Damn you shoemaker!'
(Some weeks later)
Shirou sighed while waking up in the morning, slowly walking to the bathroom while not realizing that Baobhan Sith was walking next to him with a towel in her left hand.
As the two of them walked in and Shirou began to undress to take a shower, Baobhan Sith started to lightly blush as Shirou walked into the warm water and she watched on, seemingly entranced at his body, despite knowing that if he caught her, she would be punished again.
'I really need a vacation from my work.' he thought while putting soap onto his head and scrubbing hard on his hair.
'...well this is…interesting.' she thought while gulping slightly and sat on the toilet. 'I was going to take a shower…but this is also a good show.'
'Sometimes it can be harder than some might imagine.' he thought before scrubbing his chest with a sponge, only to turn his head towards the toilet and saw Baobhan Sith, waving at him.
"Um…don't mind me, I'm…enjoying the show." 'SHIT!'
"HOLY SHIT!" he yelled in horror before covering his groin. "Baobhan Sith! Why-"
"I followed you in. You were the one taking a shower, MY intended shower." she huffed while unconsciously licking her lips. "It's not my fault you stripped in front of a princess."
Shirou blushed while throwing a bar of soap at her. "Out!"
"Hey! That's no way to treat a lady!" she frowned before getting an idea. "Unless you want me to bathe with you, right~?"
"Of course not you perv!"
"Me the pervert!? You were the one that stripped in front of ME!" she yelled in embarrassment. "You have double standards, shoemaker!"
"OUT!"
"Fine! But I will not offer you my body again!" she blushed before storming off, a little annoyed her prank turned out this way and…slightly relieved he didn't give in to her advances. 'Still….it was…good of him not to be a pervert. Ugh…I think I just puked in my mouth.'
'Damn it.'
(Later)
"So." the Archer class servant said while looking at Shirou. "Do you want me to come with you to the store or no?"
"No, you stay here so Taiga can keep an eye on you."
"But why?" she asked with a frown.
"Because you don't behave."
"I can!"
"No you can't."
"Yes I can and I can prove it, shoemaker!"
"You still don't use my name!"
"It's a pet name!" she huffed. "Besides, I can behave."
"I'd like to see that." Shirou huffed before seeing Baobhan Sith smile and bow to him in a courteous manner.
"Shall we be off, Shirou-sama?" she said with a cutely yet elegant voice that made Shirou do a double take.
"Say what?"
"I said, shall we be off to the store, Shirou-sama?" she said while snapping her fingers, causing her skimpy clothes to be replaced with an elegant red dress with black lining. "Or do you have other business to attend to first?"
"Uh….." he muttered while utterly stupefied. 'What just happened?'
Baobhan Sith smiled at him while putting her left hand around Shirou's right arm and leaned closer to him. "Don't be such a prune Shirou-sama. Let us leave for the store posthaste before the morning lark sings it's morning tune."
'Wait….Shakespeare!? Ok, what is going on!?' he thought while blushing bright red. "Uh, sure."
She smiled while leading Shirou away. 'Ha! Nailed it!'
(Later)
Shirou, now holding some bags in his hands, walked beside the Archer as she still held her arms under his own, seemingly enjoying the skin contact as numerous people thought they were either lovers or newlyweds.
"Shirou-sama, let us acquire some cake. To brighten up the dinner table tonight."
'Ok…just why is she still playing nice? She's faking it, I just know it!' he thought with a gulp. "You know you don't have to try so hard."
"Try hard how, Shirou-sama?"
"Being nice?"
"...eh?" she said 'innocently'.
"You suddenly went from your usual attitude to polite and nice before we came here. You think I didn't notice?"
"Notice what?"
"Your personality! It's out of character!"
She blinked while cocking her head to the side. "Really? What gave it away, Shirou-sama?"
"You know! Stop acting!"
"...huh?" she said while looking slightly annoyed. "I'm always nice, kind and sweet. Why do you think that way, Shirou-sama?"
"You've been acting high and mighty and calling me your property since we met!"
"Oh, so being a servant means I can't stake my claim on you?" she asked while her 'nice' character started to crack. "So being high and mighty, as you call it, means I can't be nice? Is that right?"
"Well, I didn't say that, but trying to act like it never happened doesn't really mean I'd forget it."
"...I am confused." she said while her eyes twitched, glazed over slightly as Shirou started to recall that she might have snapped in the past. "So when I'm kind you hate it, and when I'm rude you hate it? And if you only tolerate me for the shoes…then….wait. Why are you so nasty to me!? This. Makes. NO. SENSE!"
'Oh boy…I just opened a can of worms.' Shirou thought while trying not to back down. "Because you were the one giving me attitude first and stabbed my foot!"
"Why are you both being nasty and NICE to me!? Are you a living contradiction!? Well!? Explain to me why, after I stabbed your foot and the like, that you still sheltered me and then tolerated me!? I'm confused! I'm lost! I literally have no idea WHY or HOW to deal with this!?" she yelled while looking a little ready for a panic attack. "Just how!? Ah…ah…no, not the cuts, the limbs…ah..ah ah…aha..ha..ah…"
"Calm down!" he said while putting the bags down and began to rub her back.
"Ah…ah…why are my limbs gone!? Why!? I can't feel anything!" she yelled while hyperventilating, her eyes dilating as Shirou rubbed her back.
"Calm down, just breathe in. Breathe out." he said while Baobhan Sith started to slow down her breathing in sync with the human. "Breathe in…breathe out."
"Ah…ahh..a..ah.."
"It's ok, you'll be ok."
She slowly calmed down slightly as she looked at Shirou. "Ah…ah…shoemaker? What just happened?"
"You don't remember?"
"No, it's all a blank."
"You had a small panic attack." He said as Baobhan Sith blinked in confusion.
"...I did? Huh, that's odd." she muttered before getting up. "So…are you going to rub my back still or are you going to pull back? I really don't care-"
And cue her getting hugged.
"E-Eh!?"
"I do have a small inkling about your own troubles, but I don't want to push you to reveal those to me. I think I understand." he muttered while the girl blushed bright red. "You're lonely and I just confused you with my temper, my rightly justified temper mind you."
"E-EH!?"
"Look, if you try to behave with me more, I will try to be nicer and more tolerant with you."
"EHHHHHH!?" she yelled in confusion while unable to handle the sudden affection handed to her.
"So, can you just trust me, Baobhan Sith?"
Her eyes dilated before fainting in his arms, her brain overloaded with various questions, including a single underlying question.
Why is this human trying to act like mother all of a sudden!?
"Hey! Are you alright?!" he yelled while shaking the woman a little. "Hey! Hey!"
(Later on)
Baobhan Sith grumbled while eating some steak Shirou made, feeling rather annoyed that she somehow…was comforted by a human, although she counteracted it by flinging some mashed potatoes at Taiga's neck.
"Hey! Don't start wasting food!"
"What? I'm just trying to have some fun." she huffed while shrugging a little. "It's not my fault that you were an easy target."
Taiga frowned before seeing Shirou walk by and placed a piece of bamboo shoot on her plate.
"Hey!"
"The more you waste food, the more greens I'll give you."
"Shoemaker!"
"It's Shirou."
"It's my pet name for you. I keep telling you that every day." She huffed.
"Yes, but using my actual name wouldn't kill you, would it?"
"..." she quickly turned her head away with a blush. "Only when you marry me, like that'll ever happen of course~"
"...so you want me to marry you?"
"N-No!" she blushed while Taiga laughed at her. "Shut up!"
"Your face is so red!"
"Shut up!" she yelled while throwing her fork at Taiga. "Shut up!"
'Hey now! Calm down!"
"SHUT UP!" she yelled while Shirou facepalmed.
"Both of you knock it off!" he yelled before getting mashed potatoes on his face, courtesy of Taiga and Baobhan Sith, who stared at him with their forks posed to throw more food at each other.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"She did it." Baobhan Sith said quickly while pointing to Taiga.
"Liar!"
"You did it!"
"No I didn't!"
Shirou grumbled before grabbing their plates.
SPLAT!
And shoved them right in the girls' faces.
"..."
"...you know this means war, right?" asked Baobhan Sith with a frown.
"FOOD FIGHT!"
And just like that, all three began to throw food at the other, just as Rin and Sakura came in to see how Shirou was doing.
SPLAT!
Only for mash potatoes to land on Rin's face and Sakura's chest respectively.
"GAH! Hey-"
SPLAT!
Rin growled while getting hit by another round of mash potatoes to the face. "Hey!"
Sakura blushed and tried wiping the potatoes off herself. "What's going on?"
"Food fight! And duck!" yelled Taiga while throwing some steak at Sakura's face, only for her to duck and use Rin as a body double.
"GAH! Sakura!? Why!?"
"Sorry!"
"I got you now!" Baobhan Sith smirked before sending some sauce at Shirou, only for him to duck and throw mash potatoes at her face. "Gah! Hot!"
"Payback!"
"Why you!" she yelled while throwing a steak at Sakura. "Damn it! Stop ducking, shoemaker!"
SPLAT!
"AH!"
"It's Shi-"
SPLAT!
Sakura smiled as she hit Shirou with a steak. "Hi senpai."
"Hey! What did I tell you before!" Baobhan Sith yelled while throwing mash potatoes at the purple haired girl. "He is NOT your property, he's mine!"
And cue her getting potatoes in the hair from Shirou.
"GAH! Why!?"
"She can call me senpai if she wants, or do you need to be punished again?"
"But I was protecting you from those bitche-"
SPLAT!
"AH!" she cried out while getting mash potatoes to the face by both sisters, who looked rather pissed off at being called a bitch. "Why you!"
"Payback time!"
Baobhan Sith groaned before Taiga threw some sauce at her face. "AYI!"
"FOOD FIGHT GALORE!"
(Some time later)
"Ugh." Baobhan Sith grumbled while walking out of the bathroom, a towel covering groin and nothing else, as she walked into Shirou's room. "Shoemaker, that was rude taking their side."
"Rin and Sakura were in the right and why are you topless!?"
"Because I wanted to, duh." she deadpanned while looking at Shirou's reddened face. "Plus you seem to like them a lot."
He grumbled and turned away quickly.
"So." she said while sitting on his bed. "Want to finally work on my shoes or do you want me~"
"Actually I've been doing that." he remarked, catching her off guard. "Slowly over the past few weeks I've been dabbling in some ideas without you knowing."
"So can I see them?"
"No."
"Why!?" she yelled while getting up, her towel falling on the ground to expose her legs, which revealed the same diamond shaped marks on the upper portions of her arms and legs.
Shirou's eyes shot open and turned red before covering his eyes. "Y-Your towel!"
She looked down, turned bright red and was about to cover herself up, when she stopped and smirked. "You know what? I think I'll go in the nude today~"
"WHAT!?"
"Yep, so tell me why you can't show me MY shoes? Well? Tell me?" she said with a smirk, enjoying Shirou's blushing face like a dragon with it's gold.
"T-They're not finished!"
"So how much longer?"
"Um….a year?"
"A YEAR!? But you make the best shoes in under a month, NOT a year!" she yelled in horror.
"Well if you didn't have such high standards they'd already be done by now!"
"Well it's not my fault I'm an aristocrat!" she huffed while crossing her arms under her chest. "I like fancy things, including you."
"Wait what-"
"Ignore that!" she yelled in embarrassment at the slip up as she looked away. "Look, isn't there a way to make them faster?"
"No."
"Grrrrrr. Fine, I can wait a year. But you owe me!" she huffed while looking rather cute at the moment.
"Oh? Like what? An amusement park date-"
"Yes!" she said quickly, only to turn bright red and cover her face in embarrassment. 'Why am I even doing this!?'
"Wait, really?" He said in surprise as Baobhan Sith kept on looking at the wall next to her. "You want a date? To an amusement park no less?"
"..."
"Is that a yes or no?"
"...fine! But don't go getting any bright ideas, I still don't like you!" she said in embarrassment as Shirou smirked at her. "Stop that! There's no ulterior motive! Nothing I tell you!"
"Are you sure about that?"
Baobhan Sith blushed and quickly walked away, still naked, as she moved to the front door. "I'M HEADING TO THE STORE!" 'Damn that stupid goody twoshoes!'
"Wait! You forgot your clothes!" he yelled while running after her.
"DON'T CARE!"
"Baobhan Sith!"
"GO AWAY!" she yelled while Shirou ran after her, only to run faster with each passing moment.
"YOU'RE NAKED!"
"GO AWAY!" she yelled while not listening to him, still embarrassed about the 'date' planned out for her. "LET ME BE ALONE!"
"BUT YOU'RE NAKED!"
(A bit later)
"Eh?" Baobhan Sith squeaked out while being led away by the police, in handcuffs and had a towel over her back. "EH!?"
"Ma'am, you should know public indecency is a crime, right?" the police woman said as the girl looked very confused.
"EH?!"
"Please come with us."
"EH?!" She yelled while looking at Shirou. "What's going on shoemaker?!"
"I tried to tell you, but you didn't listen." He sighed as the girl was pushed into the police truck.
"Hey! Help me out! SHOEMAKER!"
"She didn't mean to do it, officer, really! It was a mistake on her part."
"Oh? You know her then?"
"Yes." He sighed while looking at the girl. "She's my wife, a very….blatant otaku. Always doing something skimpy...she didn't know."
"HEY! I'm not an ota-"
"Really now? Great, another one." she sighed. "You know, we get enough of these streakers every month. Running around in the nude is NOT what we need to deal with like babysitters."
"She won't do it again."
"...fine, but if she does it again. She'll be wearing orange for the next decade." The officer frowned while pulling Baobhan Sith out of the car and uncuffed her. "You're lucky that your husband is into this or I'd be taking you down town by now."
Baobhan Sith blinked while looking absolutely confused about the entire debacle. "..."
"Don't let me catch you doing this again."
And just like that, the officer drove off as Baobhan Sith stared at Shirou with confusion.
"So I'm your wife?"
"Well that was the excuse I came up with so she would listen." He said before seeing a….genuine smile on Baobhan Sith's face.
"You know, this is the first time someone did something nice for me." She admitted while looking at the sky. "Not even the shorty fairies treated me like this…..it's kinda gross, but in a good way."
"Really?"
She nodded. "I hate nice guys but….I'll tolerate you, husband~"
He gulped and rubbed the back of his head. "You do know that was just to get the cop off your back, right?"
"Mmm?" She turned to him and smirked. "So you don't see me as wife material~?"
"W-Well I mean, I didn't say that."
She chuckled before patting his head. "Let's go home. We have shoes to make and other shitty wholesome stuff to do…maybe watch a horror film?"
'Knowing how she gets, I hesitate to imagine which one she'd laugh at.' "Sure, after you get dressed."
"So you don't want to take pictures of me? Paint a picture of my beauty~?"
"No."
"Aw come on!" She yelled with a pout. "How can you say that when most would kill to see?"
"We live in the same house, I see you naked in the shower."
"I mean willingly!" She huffed while walking away. "You are the worst Shirou!"
He blinked like an owl as she left. "What'd I do?"
(Later)
Baobhan Sith stared at Rin as she was currently asking Shirou about her shoes.
"So-"
"He's my husband, you know." The fairy said bluntly, shocking Rin in the process. "Meaning he's off the market."
"Wait, what?"
"You heard me, he's MY husband."
Shirou sighed. "I told you before-"
"Don't care, you're the husband, I'm the wife, and she's not the mistress so bugger off!"
"...Shirou?" Rin said while looking confused.
"Ignore her." he sighed before seeing the servant glaring at Rin and giving her the middle finger, twice.
'He's mine!' Baobhan Sith thought while not seeing Shirou's angry glare. 'No one but me shall have h-'
"Hey! Stop being rude!"
She frowned while looking at Shirou. "It's not my fault the twig is trying to steal you away. If anything, she's in the wrong here."
"I'm not into him like that!" Rin blushed while Baobhan Sith deadpanned at her.
"You and the purple bitch like him, I can see it in your eyes." she said while Rin blushed even redder. "So give up, he's mine! And I'm not sharing him."
"Oh come on, that's silly." Shirou shook his head. "Like Rin here likes me like that."
She stared at Shirou before pulling out a nail and stabbed him in the palm.
"OW!"
"You really are dense when it comes to women." she said flatly while Rin gave him a deadpan expression as well. "You deserved the nail."
"OWWWW! Fuck!" he yelled while pulling the nail out. "Baobhan Sith!"
"What? It was a 'love' tap~"
"How was that a love tap!?"
"Because." she said with a smirk before seeing Rin glaring at her. "It's what newlyweds do~"
"They don't stab each other with nails, you psycho!" she yelled while Shirou hissed and went to bandage up the wound.
"Well unless they are into that sort of stuff." Baobhan Sith chuckled while Rin frowned. "But before you go, I really want to see how many nails you can hold in your tongue before you scream~ I really do hate whores that steal husbands like you do~"
Rin frowned while pulling out a gem and placed it into her hands, charging it up with magical power. "Bring it, bitch."
"Oh I'm so going to enjoy killing you~"
"No killing!" Shirou yelled while both girls groaned. "And Baobhan Sith, stop antagonizing Rin!"
"Eh? You're no fun husband." she sighed while looking utterly depressed.
"Tell me this, would you like it if I went and did that to you?"
"...is that a trick question?" she asked innocently. "Because I know you're not a sadist-"
"Just answer the question." He deadpanned.
"Well, no. But she is trying to steal you away, same with her sister. How can I NOT get pissed off~?" she said with a false sing-song tone filled with malice.
He and Rin both let out defeated sighs before he went back to clean the wound.
"What? I'm being honest." she said while getting ignored, which she didn't like. "Hey!"
(Later)
Baobhan Sith grumbled, again, while she followed Shirou to his job, a normal routine by now, as she held his right arm with a protective glare, giving any girl that looked at Shirou a terrible hateful stare in the process. "Mmmmmmm."
"You need to stop this."
"Stop what?"
"Being protective."
"Not happening. You're mine, meaning I'm going to be protective of you like one of my prized shoes." she said with a frown. "Nothing's going to change that."
"Well not unless you get those shoes you want, right?"
"Not even that." She frowned.
"Well that's a shame, and here I had a surprise for you. I guess you don't want to see it then."
"Wait what?" She said while looking at Shirou with a blank expression on her face.
"Oh nothing, nothing at all." he waved his hand.
"Tell me. NOW!" she narrowed her eyes, scaring Shirou a little in the process.
"Ok ok, but you have to close your eyes first and let go of my arm."
Baobhan Sith grumbled before complying, running into a lamp pole in the process. "OW!"
"Um…maybe wait until we get to the shop first."
"Moron." she grumbled while rubbing her nose.
(Later)
"Ok, are your eyes closed?"
"Yes." she gumbled while on the table, her eyes closed as Shirou nodded. "They are."
"Ok, keep them closed, I'll get the surprise." he said before walking into the back room.
(Two hours later)
"Can I open them now?" Baobhan Sith said while looking rather annoyed. 'My nose is itchy!'
"Not yet." He said while putting some red wrapping paper on an obscured object.
"Can I at least scratch my nose?"
"Yes."
She reached up and sighed as soon as she got the itch taken care of. "AAAAAAHHHH~ Much better~"
"Almost ready."
Baobhan Sith grumbled while swaying her legs back and forth, bored out of her mind. She heard feet coming over before stopping.
"Alright, open your eyes."
She blinked and saw a wrapped present on her lap. "...it isn't my birthday, at all."
"Just go ahead and open it." He deadpanned.
She blinked and ripped off the wrapping, revealing a set of white stiletto heeled shoes with a heart on the toe and a sword shaped hilt-like opening on the sides. "..."
"Took me a while, but here's the shoes." he said with a smile, only to see her cry a little. "What? Oh come on, I worked my butt off on those. They weren't-"
"It's not that…it's…perfect." she muttered while still crying. "It's just…they remind me of my mother."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad."
"No, it just….reminded me of something." she said while her eyes glazed over slightly but shook her head quickly and looked at Shirou. "Thank you for making them."
"Well you were very insistent." He said while Baobhan Sith placed the shoes on the table, jumped on him and-
CHU~
Started making out with him as Sakura walked in the shop looking for her shoes.
"Senpai? Is my o-EEP!"
Baobhan Sith looked at Sakura from Shirou's left side, gave her the finger, and continued to make out with Shirou, much to Sakura's rising anger. She went ahead and slipped her tongue in, making Shirou back up against the counter.
'Why is she becoming so aggressive now!?' he thought before noticing Sakura walking towards him and it clicked in his head, causing the color to drain from his face. 'SHIT!'
"Senpai. Move." she said with a false smile while moving her left arm back and formed a fist.
He tried shaking his head to warn her.
However, Sakura didn't seem to care as the Archer class servant continued to make out with the man.
Only for him to turn around, leading to her fist hitting his back and making him let out a yelp of pain.
Baobhan Sith blinked, saw Sakura's fist on Shirou's back, and saw red. "YOU!" 'HOW DARE SHE HIT HIM, THAT'S MY JOB!'
"Senpai! I'm so sorry!" she cried out in horror before Baobhan Sith got off of Shirou and jumped right at the girl.
"DIE!" Baobhan Sith yelled while grabbing Sakura and began punching and pulling on Sakura's hair.
"YEOW!"
"HOW DARE YOU HIT MY HUSBAND!"
"Ow….Baobhan Sith! Stop!"
"DIE!" she yelled while Sakura cried out in pain. "DIE DIE DIE!"
Shirou rushed over and pried her off Sakura before slamming his lips against her own.
This in turn caused the fairy to turn bright red and faint, her face falling on the ground as Sakura groaned in pain.
"Are you alright Sakura?"
"Ow…I am senpai…but…why were you kissing her?"
"Uh…just thanking me for a gift."
"...and then the kiss you just gave her?" she asked while feeling absolutely confused at the moment.
"..." he blushed red as Sakura got up and walked out of the store, depressed but not out of the 'shipping wars' just yet. 'I better get her back home.'
"Ugh…." Baobhan Sith groaned while getting up. "What just happened?" 'And why are my lips wet?'
"You uh…passed out when you saw your gift, I was gonna get you back home."
"Oh." she said while shaking her head. "I see….fine. Let's go home, and tonight, you're going to cook some steak-"
"No, we are having hamburger steak tonight."
"I see."
"And we have a date at the amusement park tomorrow." he said as the fairy blushed bright red.
"I-It's not like I want to-"
"So you want Ri-"
"NO! I mean no, I will go on the…date." she said with a blush.
"That's what I thought." he smirked while Baobhan Sith pulled out a nail and aimed it at his left shoulder. "Hey! Don't!"
"Then don't toy with my maiden heart!"
"Wait, you HAVE a maiden's hear-"
SQUISH!
"AHHH!"
"S-Shut up!"
"Do you want me to drop you?!"
She huffed while letting Shirou pick her up, bridal style, out of the shop. "J-Just stop teasing your wife. Save it for the bedroom~"
"Now who's confusing with her emotions?"
She puffed her cheeks out before biting him on the neck and began sucking his blood.
"AH!" he yelled, staggering and fell backwards. "Stop that!"
"Mmm!"
"AH!"
(Some time later)
Shirou grumbled, slowly waking up in his bed as he moved the covers off him, sluggishly and saw to his surprise…Baobhan Sith holding him by the left arm and sleeping like a baby.
"Zzzzzzz." she snored while drooling on his side.
"Again with the drooling…" he muttered before poking her lips.
Nom!
"Mmmm." she snored while currently nibbling on his left index finger. "Mmmm~"
"Hey, no biting." He deadpanned before seeing her rolling on top of his chest and nuzzled it. "Ugh…" 'What is she? A cat?'
"Zzzzzzzz."
'Looks like I'm sleeping in today…I hope Taiga-nee doesn't see us like this.' he thought before Baobhan Sith removed her mouth from his finger-
CHU~
And latched onto his neck, sucking his blood in the process.
"YEOW!" he cried out while feeling his body getting weaker.
(A few minutes later)
"Ugh….." Shirou groaned while looking paler than usual as Baobhan Sith looked like she was glowing, as they both entered the kitchen where Taiga was eating some pancakes.
"Morning-Shirou? What happened to you?"
"Blood…"
"Fufu~" Baobhan Sith chuckled with a smile, causing Taiga to realize something…shocking.
"Wait…did you two have sex!?"
"No!" Baobhan Sith yelled with a bright blush. "Why would I bed my husband in the middle of the day! I'm not crude!"
"Your smile and him looking like he didn't sleep says it all!"
"I don't know why! He just looked like that when I woke up!"
"Likely story."
"I do not lie, unlike you, human!"
"You want a go!?"
"I will if you keep insisting on a lie!"
"Bring it!"
And cue both of them attacking each other with tooth and nail as Shirou facepalmed.
'I'm too tired for this shit.' he yawned and went to go get breakfast while they duked it out.
(Some time later)
"Let's go on that ride!" Baobhan Sith cried out with glee as she and Shirou were at the local amusement park, her left hand holding some cotton candy and her right pointing at a very graphic looking haunted house ride. "It looks funny!"
"You sure? Seems pretty intense."
"I LOVE gore and the like." she grinned while Shirou gulped. "Besides, I want to see you scream and hold me like a baby~"
"I'm not that easily frightened, but dealing with you has made it easier." he muttered to himself.
As they moved towards the haunted house, Shirou noticed that Baobhan Sith was….really happy, not like a false happy like when they first met, but looking more like a happy child more than anything and it…actually made his heart melt a little.
"Let's go husband!"
"Ok ok, it's not going anywhere." he sighed while not noticing Rin walking by, looking rather interested in a shooting game, and losing every time.
"Fuck! Again!" she yelled while trying to hit a small plushire of a strange black haired boy with a white uniform on his person, missing each time. "Fuck! Again!"
"Maybe you should give up, miss." the attendant said before seeing her glaring at him.
"Not until that plushie is mine! AGAIN!"
'Ugh….I hate my job.' he thought with a groan.
(Later)
-Inside the attraction-
"BOOOO!" cried out a 'ghost' as it popped out of a corner, making Baobhan Sith giggle at its appearance.
"Oh god, that is so corny! I love it! Kyahahahahaha!" she laughed while Shirou deadpanned at her 'enjoyment'.
'Saw that coming.' he sighed while walking away from the ghost.
"BOOO!"
Only for another ghost with a bloody mouth to appear from the ceiling.
"Kyahahaha! So lame! Kyahahahahaha!"
"Is there anything that does scare you?"
"Mmmm, nope~" she said playfully while giving Shirou a hug, making him blush. "Nothing at all~"
"Please don't get any freaky ideas." He deadpanned before seeing a bloodied yurei appear from a well, moaning loudly at him.
STAB!
Only for Baobhan Sith to stab her on the shoulder with her bladed left heel.
"Away from him, he's mine!"
"AHHHHHH!"
"Easy! It's just a person in a costume!"
"Don't care, she was getting too close." she frowned while pulling back. "Besides, I'll be protecting you from anyone, even ghosts if I have to~"
'Why is she THIS protective!?'
"Let's get going, husband~"
"Uh….oh fine." he grumbled as they walked away, the yurei still screaming in pain as the screen went black. 'I really don't know why I like her?'
'He's all mine~ Mine~'