"Liz!" Jed called on his way into the kitchen. "Is your mother home yet?"
"Nope."
"It's five of six! Where can she be?"
"Where do you think, Dad?"
"Yeah. So, what's cookin'?"
"I don't know really. I've got some kind of..chicken-y thing going on. And some rice. And green beans. Oh, and something else that's green. Not really sure what it is…"
"As long as it's a heart-healthy meal. If you find yourself tempted to make something that might actually taste good, be sure to stop yourself. You know how your mom feels about food that tastes good."
Liz laughed.
"Yep. Food that tastes good will probably kill ya."
"That's right. We have trained you well, child."
Then, they heard the doorbell rang and exchanged alarmed glances.
"They're here."
As Liz and Jed walked briskly toward the door, a line developed behind them. Leo came up from the basement and Zoey hopped up from the couch and trailed behind them. They all stood behind Jed as he moved to the open the front door.
"Evan! Talia! It's so nice to see you again," Jed greeted them, through clenched teeth.
Senator Silverman held out his hand to Jed, who promptly shook it.
"Jed."
Jed turned to Mrs. Silverman.
"Talia, how are you?"
"I'm…wonderful, thank you, Jed."
Jed smiled in return. Evan turned his attention to the man standing behind Jed.
"Well, if it isn't Leo McGarry. What brings you here?"
Jed interjected to save him.
"I asked Leo to come over and entertain the kids while you're here."
Leo nodded in agreement.
"Really. I thought I heard about a little tiff you were having with the Congresswoman," Evan said, haughtily.
"Uh…nope, everything's fine with 'the Congresswoman,' Evan," Leo replied.
"Glad to hear it."
Zoey tugged on Jed's pantleg.
"Oh, and who is this?" Talia said, bending over to look at her.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Talia, Evan, this is my daughter, Zoey."
"Hi," Zoey said, shyly.
"Hello, darling," Talia said, sweetly. "She's adorable, Jed."
"Thank you, we think so. And you know Elizabeth."
"Yes, of course. Elizabeth, hello," Evan said to her.
Elizabeth nodded.
"Senator. Mrs. Silverman."
"Why don't we all sit down?" Jed suggested.
They all moved into the living room.
"And where, may I ask, is your charming wife this evening?" Evan questioned, sitting down by Talia.
"Running a little late, I'm afraid."
"At the hospital, is she?" Talia asked.
"Yeah. She should be pulling in any minute now."
"Dad, dinner should be ready in about five minutes. It's all done cooking, I just have it heating on the burner so you just have to take it off and serve…"
"Yes, thank you, Liz." Jed turned to his guests. "Elizabeth is really an excellent cook, you know."
"We'll see for ourselves at dinner," Evan said, with a forced smile.
"I'm sure it's wonderful, Elizabeth," Talia said.
"Thank…you, Mrs. Silverman," Liz replied, nervously.
"I'm home!" Abbey called as she walked into the house.
They all turned to look at her.
"Mommy!" Zoey cried out.
"I…oh, um…" She stuttered, looking down with embarassment at the scrubs she was still wearing.
They stood as she slowly walked over to them.
"Charming, as always," Evan said with a laugh.
"Evan! Talia…I wasn't exp…"
Jed quickly interjected.
"Abbey! Honey," he said, walking toward her, giving her a look. He leaned in to kiss her, and she returned it distractedly.
"What's going on?" She whispered into his ear.
"Smile and act normal," he whispered back.
"Mmmkay." She turned back to face the Silvermans. "I think I'm going to go get out of these clothes."
Liz tried to stifle her laughter as everyone else just stared at her mother.
"And…change into something else, of course," Abbey added.
"Nice save, Mom."
"Jed? Would you join me upstairs please?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure."
"You'll excuse us?" Abbey said to her guests.
"Of course," Evan said.
"Jed, I'm gonna take the girls and head out now, all right?"
"Yeah. Thanks, Leo."
Jed and Abbey hurried up the stairs and into their bedroom, slamming the door directly behind them.
"What the HELL is going on here!" Abbey exclaimed.
"I tried to warn you! I called you twice at the hospital!"
"Well, excuse me if I wasn't waiting around the phones all day. I have a job to do ya know. I mean, saving lives is pretty important nowadays."
"I'm just saying I'd tried," Jed said.
"What the hell are they doing here, Jed?"
"They're having dinner."
"WHY are they having dinner?" Abbey demanded.
"That's what hungry people do. They eat."
"Don't be a jackass, I'm really not in the mood for your jackassness right now."
He raised an eyebrow at her.
"My jackassness?"
"Damn right."
"Well, it's about time you came up with a word for that," Jed said.
"Jed."
"Evan called me at work today. It was last minute."
She looked at him suspiciously.
"Are they here on business or Lizness?"
"I'm sorry, what was that? Lizness?"
She shrugged.
"Rhymes with business. I couldn't help myself."
"Clearly. And they're here on…Lizness."
Abbey sighed.
"Couldn't you have planned this for another night?"
"They're leaving for Bermuda tomorrow. For three weeks."
"What are we supposed to say to them? Hmm?"
"Let's just put politics aside, just for tonight, and focus on the facts," Jed suggested.
"Which are?"
"Our children are having a baby. We're going to be grandparents."
"Uh-uh. I don't want to hear that word come out of your mouth again."
"What word? Grandparents?"
"Shh!"
"Get used to it, Grandma, because it's not going away."
"Grandma! Grandma! Did you just call me…"
"Yes, I did," he said, proudly.
"The child will not call me Grandma."
"And what will he or she call you then?" Jed asked.
She hesitated.
"Something else."
"Ohh, maybe Nana? Better yet- Nanny. I call my grandmother Nanny."
Abbey's eyes widened with horror.
"Over my dead body."
"Very well then. I'll be sure to hire a hitman to finish you off when Liz has her baby."
"Jed!"
"Hey, you think I'm crazy about Grandpa? Think again."
"We could come up with completely original names. People do that all the time."
"Yes, and they all sound ridiculous," Jed replied.
"Do we have to discuss this right this minute?"
"No, but it's a sufficient distraction, wouldn't you say?"
"Did you see her, Jed? Did you see the way she looked at me!"
"Who?"
"Talia!"
"She doesn't hate you, Abbey. I know you think she hates you, but she doesn't," he said.
"She DOES hate me. Always has. Known fact going about Washington."
"You mean rumor."
"Fact."
"She's just jealous."
"Of WHAT?"
"Of…the fact that you're married to me."
Abbey rolled her eyes.
"I'm sure that's it."
"I'm very sought after, you know. Women love me."
"Nerdy though you may be."
"They see through my nerdiness."
"What's beyond that!" Abbey questioned.
"My extreme sex appeal."
She burst out laughing.
"Yes, dear."
"Do you dare disagree with a Nobel Laureate!"
"I do indeed."
"Well then. However can I change your mind…" He said, moving toward her.
"Back off, bucko. We got company downstairs."
"Damnit."
"Oh, God. What am I gonna wear?"
"You're asking me!"
"What should I wear? I mean, I don't know what to…"
"Something sexier than Talia's wearing."
"Why's that?"
"I would think you'd be the first one to want to upstage Talia Silverman," Jed said.
"Yes! Good thinking. I'll wear something that'll blow her outta the water."
Jed winced.
"Yeah, but that's not hard."
"Yeah, she's not much of a looker, is she?" Abbey agreed.
"There now, Dr. Bartlet, let's not be cruel."
"Get out, I'm changing."
"Since when are you shy?" Jed said.
"Since I want to surprise you."
"You want to blow me out of the water too?"
"Yes! Now, leave."
"Okay, goodbye."
He started to back out.
"Hey, Jed?"
"Yeah?"
"Black or red?"
"Red. Definitely."
"Sorry to keep you waiting," Jed said, descending the stairs and re-entering the living room where the Silvermans resided.
"Quite all right," Evan returned.
"Abbey'll be back down in a minute. And dinner should be ready soon."
"Sounds good."
"So, uh, where are the kids tonight?" Jed asked them.
"We needed Ben to stay home to babysit Davey. We didn't want to bring him with us," Talia explained.
"How old is Davey now?"
"He's eight."
"He might have gotten along well with Zoey," Jed replied.
Evan laughed.
"We got into enough trouble when our older children got together."
Jed was about to respond, when Abbey started down the stairs and stole their attention.
"How's everybody doing down here?"
They all stared at her wordlessly for a moment. She had changed into the short, slinky red dress that Liz had pointed out to her only a few days earlier on their shopping trip. She was planning on wearing it when Jed took her out, but since those plans were botched, she decided upstaging Talia Silverman would be a much better use for the dress anyway.
"Jesus, Abbey," Jed whispered.
"What's the matter, Jed? Don't like the dress?" She asked, demurely.
"You look…lovely," Evan said.
She turned to him.
"Why, thank you, Senator," Abbey responded, coyly, and then cocked her head to one side to shoot Talia a glance.
Abbey walked over and sat beside Jed on the couch.
"Maybe that dress wasn't such a good idea," he whispered in her ear.
She looked at him quizzically.
"Because now I'm not going to be able to keep my hands off you."
She grinned and turned her attention back to their guests.
"What were we talking about?"
"Uh…I don't…remember," Jed stuttered, distractedly.
"Evan?"
"Um, well…"
Abbey grinned devilishly.
"Well, these two seem remarkably sidetracked. I don't suppose you remember, Talia?"
"Our children," Talia replied, tersely.
"Ah, yes. Our children. How is Ben anyway?"
"Fine. Just fine, thank you."
"Well," Abbey sighed, though a smile remained on her face. "This is sufficiently awkward."
They all laughed uneasily.
"How about a drink?" Abbey suggested. "Would anyone like a drink?"
"Scotch," Jed replied, swallowing hard. "Please."
"You got it. Evan? Talia?"
"Could you do a martini?" Talia questioned.
"Absolutely. Vodka martini?"
"Yes, thank you."
"Evan?"
"Scotch sounds good," he answered.
"All right. I'll be right back."
She stood and walked into the kitchen. Jed quickly stood as well.
"I…I'm gonna go see if she needs a hand."
Evan nodded as Jed left the room. The moment Jed was gone, Talia jabbed him hard in the ribs.
"What!"
"Could you drool over her a little more please!" She exclaimed.
"Talia, please."
"Don't you see? She's doing this on purpose!"
"Doing what on purpose?"
"That dress isn't a coincedence, Evan. She's doing this to get back at me," Talia said.
"For what?"
"For hating her."
"Since when do you hate Abbey Bartlet?"
"Since the day they moved to DC."
"I don't recall you ever informing me of this," Evan replied, nonchalantly.
"I have. Many times, in fact."
"Why on earth do you dislike her?"
Talia glared at him, fury in her eyes.
"Because I do. All right? I just do!"
"All right, all right," Evan said, backing off. "But try and act civil around her, will you please?"
"Not if she keeps on acting the way she is."
"She is acting perfectly gracious, Talia, and you know it."
"Too gracious."
Evan sighed and looked away.
"Abbey."
She glanced at him quickly before turning back to the counter where she was fixing the drinks.
"Hey. Here to see if I…need a hand?"
"Yeah."
She stopped fussing with the drinks and turned around fully.
"Did you see her? She hates me, I told you she hates me."
"I…really wasn't paying that much attention, Abbey."
"Well, focus! We have to take these people down, Bartlet!"
"Wait a second, whoa there. Please tell me Competitive Abbey is not coming out to play," Jed said.
"She's already here."
"I should have seen it coming. The moment you walked downstairs, I should have seen it coming."
"I'm going to give her a good reason to hate me," Abbey said.
"I don't think that's such a great idea. Think about it. We're going to be seeing these people on a regular basis for the next however many years. Do we really want to go all Capulet and Montague on them?"
"Why the hell not? Romeo's a jackass, let's let his parents pay for it."
"What do you mean 'Romeo's a jackass'?"
"He told Liz he wants nothing to do with the baby! You know that, Jed," Abbey replied.
"No, I did not know that, Abbey. When were you going to tell me!"
"It's not my job to tell you. You could easily go and talk to Liz yourself."
"He said that to her!"
"Yes."
"What did he say exactly?" Jed demanded.
"I don't know, he doesn't want to be involved. He has offered his financial support and that's it."
"Bastard," he muttered under his breath.
"See what I mean? Let's castrate these people, damnit!" Abbey said.
"Okay, come on."
She grabbed the drinks and started toward the door.
"Wait a second!" He called.
"What?"
"I have to work with him. I can't be at war with him, more than I already am at least."
"Then let's hit Lady Montague. Full force."
"You're a vengeful woman, Lady Capulet."
"Yeah, well, nobody messes with my Juliet."
TBC.