"Well, now what?"
"I suppose we assign rooms?" Abbey said.
"Welcome to the Hotel Bartlet, everyone. If you'll all just have a seat, we'll have the arrangements done in just a moment. Stand by," Jed said, grabbing Abbey's arm and pulling her into the kitchen.
"How are we gonna do this?"
"You tell me, Mr. Hospitality," she replied.
"Abbey."
"Easy. Evan and Talia in the living room, Leo and Jenny in the basement…"
"Hold it," Jed interjected. "Leo and Jenny aren't speaking to each other."
"Untrue. She said 'Leopold Thomas' and he said 'Jennifer Lynne.'"
"I don't think that counts, Abbey."
"They've been married for twenty years, they can survive a night alone in the basement," Abbey replied.
"Okay, but all the credit's going to you on this one, if anyone asks. What else?"
"We can move Ellie in with Zoey and put Becky and Steven in Ellie's room. Mallory can stay with Liz."
"Is that everyone?"
"Yeah. That is, until someone else decides to show up for shelter from the storm."
Jed sighed.
"Oh, what did we get ourselves into? We've got two women in the middle of a catfight, a couple not speaking to each other, a couple we don't even know, a daughter who feels ignored, a daughter who can't find her stuffed animals, and a daughter that's nearly four months pregnant."
"You neglected to mention yourself there, partner," Abbey said.
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with me."
"How about… 'a man so worried about impressing his arch enemy that he forgot to pick up his own daughter'?"
"Wow, Abbey. That…that was a low blow."
"Tell it to Ellie, Jed."
"Yeah," he said, softly. "I'll go talk to her in a minute."
"Good call."
"Can I make a suggestion?"
"No."
"Okay."
"Go."
"Going," he said, as he exited the kitchen.
She followed behind him and they got the attention of their guests waiting patiently in the living room.
"Okay. Ellie will sleep in Zoey's room, Mallory in Liz's room, Becky and Steven in Ellie's room, Talia and Evan in the living room, and Leo and Jenny in the basement."
"What about you guys? Where are you gonna sleep?" Liz asked.
"Elizabeth Bartlet, that may have been the dumbest thing you've ever said."
"Right."
"Uh, excuse me?" Jenny said, raising her hand. "Any possible way I could switch rooms please?"
"Nope, sorry, we're all booked," Abbey responded.
"Abigail. You are not funny."
"Grow up, Jenny. You're not the only one who's far from pleased with this arrangement. You crashed into my front yard, remember?"
"I promise I won't touch you," Leo said, dryly.
"Shut up, jackass."
"Hey, hey. Language. There are small children present," Jed said.
"I can't deal with him all night," Jenny said.
"Then sleep in the car, Jen."
"Yeah, sleep in the car, Jen," Leo agreed.
"I swear to God, Leo, if I have to…"
"Mom! Dad! Stop it!" Mallory pleaded.
"I'm gonna go get some pillows and blankets," Jed said, heading towards the stairs.
Abbey nodded.
"Look. I know nobody wants to be here right now. But, like it or not, we're stuck with each other until morning. The least we can do is be civil to one another. If you can't do that, leave now and let the hail beat you into the ground, I don't care. But this is how it's gonna be. Are we understood?"
They all nodded, mostly out of fear. It was well known that you don't mess with Abbey Bartlet.
"Good. Now," she sighed. "I am going to go talk to my daughter. When my husband returns, you'll do as he says."
"What are you, leading the Third Reich or something?" Jenny said.
"That's right. I'm Hitler and Jed is my Goebbels."
"We need an Albert Speer," Leo said.
"Ooh! I'll be Speer!" Elizabeth volunteered.
"See what you've done, Leo? My daughter just volunteered to join the Nazi party. All too enthusiastically."
"Take me to Auschwitz then."
"Okay, am I the only one uncomfortable in this conversation?" Becky questioned, timidly.
"Are you Jewish?" Jenny asked.
"No…"
"Then welcome to our sense of humor, honey."
"Take nothing we say seriously," Leo added.
"Okay…"
"That will be all," Abbey said, heading upstairs.
"Anyone mind if we sit down?" Steve asked.
"Oh, sure. You can sit with us," Evan said, moving over so Becky and Steve could sit beside them.
"I'm Evan Silverman and this is my wife, Talia."
"Nice to meet you," Steve said. "I'm Steven Wright and this is my wife, Becky."
"Pleasure," Talia said.
"You wouldn't happen to be…Senator Silverman, would you?" Becky asked.
"Why…yes, I am."
"Oh." Becky looked down at her shoes
.
"Something wrong, Mrs. Wright?"
"No, no, nothing. It's just…you're the one that's been fighting Jed on school vouchers."
"Ah. You're a public school teacher then?" Evan assumed.
"No, I'm a librarian actually. School vouchers are very important to me."
"Becky, I assure you we're working as hard as we can on this issue," Jenny said.
"He's not," Becky said, gesturing toward Evan.
"Mrs. Wright, I'm in a position where I have to be a spokesperson for my party…I can't go against them," Evan explained.
"I don't see why you have to…"
"Becky, honey, let's not get into this right now," Steve said. "We have to be here all night, we don't need any mutiny."
"True. Senator Silverman's a little sore right now because it seems he's not incredibly popular, even within his party," Jenny added.
"I beg your pardon!"
"I'm only saying…"
"Congresswoman, this is quite a load of hypocrisy coming from you, wouldn't you say?" Evan said.
"Excuse me?"
"From what I hear, your chances of being re-elected next year are next to nill."
"That is absolutely not true!" Leo exclaimed. "Jenny has every reason to believe she'll be re-elected. In fact, she's got a much better chance than you have!"
Jenny turned and flashed her husband a grateful, yet embarassed, smile.
"Follow me," Mallory whispered to Liz, as she stood and walked into the kitchen.
"What is it, Mal?" Liz asked.
"Does your basement have a lock?"
"A lock?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, I guess. Why?"
"Get me the key, would you?" Mallory said.
"What are you gonna do with the…no. Mallory, no. You can't.
"I can."
"Please don't pull a Parent Trap on me," Liz begged.
"Just get me the key, Liz."
"No. I won't be part of this little scam of yours."
"Please, Liz. Did you see that back there? I know you saw it. He stood up for her. And that look she gave him…please, Liz."
Liz sighed.
"Mal…my parents would kill me."
"You don't know what it's like to have your dad move out, because your mom kicked him out. You don't know what it's like to watch them bicker and fight like there's no tomorrow. I have to fix this."
"But, Mallory, it doesn't look like your mother's gonna take your dad back until he returns to the AA meetings."
"But see, Dad's not gonna go back to the AA meetings without her," Mallory said.
"What do you mean?"
"He needs her support."
"And she'll give it to him when he goes back."
"But he's not even gonna go back without her. Think about it. If your parents were in this situation, your father wouldn't be strong enough to do it without your mom behind him. Do you see what I'm saying?"
"Kind of. But is this really gonna work?" Liz asked.
"I think so. The biggest problem with my parents, I think, is lack of communication. They tend to rely a lot on…things unsaid. Locked in the basement, they'll have no choice but to talk."
"I guess."
"So will you give me the key?"
"All right. But if I get grounded…"
"If you get grounded, chances are I'll be grounded too."
"Good."
"Thank you, Liz."
"Yeah, yeah. This better work, Mallory."
Mallory headed back into the living room as Liz rummanged through the drawers in the kitchen looking for the key. Jed returned downstairs carrying numerous pillows and blankets, piled up past his head. Leo jumped up to help him.
"Okay, come and get 'em."
Everyone stood and picked up a few blankets and pillows.
"Okay, so I hear Abbey laid down the law for you guys. Why don't you all take your things and get set up in your various assigned rooms. Then we'll gather in the dining room for dinner. Deal?"
They all assented. Liz entered the living room and cautiously handed Mallory the basement door key.
"Mom, Dad, let me help you," Mallory said, taking some pillows from her parents.
She lead them to the basement and opened the door.
"After you."
Jenny and Leo began down the stairs, not realizing their conniving sixteen-year-old daughter wasn't following them. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they both looked up. Mallory threw the pillows and blankets down on top of them, then quickly slammed the door shut and locked it. She turned to see Liz standing behind her, hands on her hips.
"I give it five seconds before they're at the top of the stairs banging on the door," Liz speculated.
"One…two…three…four…"
"MALLORY! MALLORY ERIN MCGARRY, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!"
"Right on time."
"MALLORY!"
"Come on," Liz said, slinging her arm through Mallory's and walking her into the kitchen.
The knocking and banging on the basement door continued, but was ignored. For the time being at least.
TBC/